Shiloh Warner

The YaS Cast is back! Again! In this conversation with Shiloh Warner we talk about creativity, identity, and the long road between having an idea and actually letting it exist in the world. We talk about mental blocks, the pressure of being seen, growing into softness, complicated relationships with religion and family, and learning how to own the creative parts of yourself without apologizing for them.

Creators and Guests

Host

Randy Warner

What is The YaS Cast: Yuba and Sutter Podcast?

This podcast focuses on all things interesting in Yuba and Sutter counties. Get to know your local residents, find out what's happening in your city, and get connected to the wonderful area.

Randy Warner: 00:00

Welcome to the Yuba and Sutter Podcast. It's the YasCast covering everything you wanna hear about from where you live. We're talking to politicians and community leaders and regular people, and we're gonna cover the hot topics. We're gonna hear the interesting stories, and we're gonna address some of the issues that we care about in this community. Maybe we'll even talk to you.

Randy Warner: 00:17

But for now, it's time to sit back and enjoy the show. This is the Yass Cast. The Yass Cast is back. I feel like I said that eight times.

Shiloh Warner: 00:35

Back from where? The day. Where did it go? What happened?

Randy Warner: 00:38

Is iteration three of being a zombie. I relaunched it a while ago, and it just for whatever reason, it never quite got off. I just never it never stuck. I don't know what the deal was. And then the universe was just telling me, like, bro, I'm doing a podcast.

Randy Warner: 00:55

You wanna do the podcast? And then at some point in time I was like, I think the universe is telling me to do the podcast.

Shiloh Warner: 01:01

And also like everyone you know was telling you

Randy Warner: 01:03

to do it. I

Shiloh Warner: 01:05

was The like universe as everyone you know.

Randy Warner: 01:07

Yes. It had many faces and they were all like, dude, do the podcast. We like the podcast. And which always surprises me when someone's like, oh, I listened to your podcast. It was great.

Randy Warner: 01:17

Like, what me who

Shiloh Warner: 01:18

Why is that surprising?

Randy Warner: 01:19

I don't know. It's just it's one of those things where it feels like nobody listens and and not that I care. Like, I never looked at, like, how many people listened. I just like doing it. It's I makes me feel connected to the community and connected to people, and I love just having conversations with people.

Randy Warner: 01:36

But yeah. I don't know. I just felt like nobody not nobody listens, but it just always surprises me when, like, wait. You're listening to this voice? Like, what?

Randy Warner: 01:46

So yeah. So I just I did a little ADHD, you know, hobbying of I need to get the back gotta get microphones again and, you know, and so I Yeah. Got new microphones, which kind of was a I got I spent this money on microphones. I gotta do it now. So here we are.

Shiloh Warner: 02:03

Here we are. And they are nice microphones.

Randy Warner: 02:05

And So you know, I'm I'm I'm the the main Jane Randy. And you're also the main Jane

Shiloh Warner: 02:13

Shiloh.

Randy Warner: 02:13

Shiloh. Yeah. I don't know. I just like I should like introduce you.

Shiloh Warner: 02:16

What is the main Jane?

Randy Warner: 02:17

I don't know. I just I don't know where I was going or how I was gonna do that. Because we're kind of we're kind of doing a cohosting of this thing. And so I don't wanna say I was the main Jane.

Shiloh Warner: 02:26

Oh, I get it. I was gonna say the main

Randy Warner: 02:27

man, but I'm not the main like, we're the main men.

Shiloh Warner: 02:30

Yes. Yes. But I won't always be.

Randy Warner: 02:36

No. No. You're be intermittently co hosting.

Shiloh Warner: 02:38

Intermittently as life allows and I'm available.

Randy Warner: 02:41

Yes. Because we're we're both pretty busy and it's very hard to schedule Yeah. All the time. The same. Yeah.

Randy Warner: 02:46

So

Shiloh Warner: 02:47

But in order not to be a roadblock to doing the podcast. Yes. We decided that I will cohost as I'm available.

Randy Warner: 02:56

I love it.

Shiloh Warner: 02:58

And you can do it all of the time whenever you're available.

Randy Warner: 03:01

Yes. So what are we talking about today?

Shiloh Warner: 03:05

Also, I'm Shiloh.

Randy Warner: 03:08

Do we not say yeah. This is Shiloh. Many of you may know her.

Shiloh Warner: 03:14

Yeah. The woman who needs no introduction.

Randy Warner: 03:18

Anyway.

Shiloh Warner: 03:22

Yeah. So I'm Shiloh.

Randy Warner: 03:25

Let's roll. Do this thing.

Shiloh Warner: 03:29

Let's just kind of talk about because lots of things have happened since I was last on the podcast. I mean, not lots of things, but, like, life has shifted and adjusted and changed.

Randy Warner: 03:41

Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. So

Shiloh Warner: 03:45

I turned 50 in September, which is like, oh, what? No.

Randy Warner: 03:49

Happy birthday.

Shiloh Warner: 03:50

Oh, no. Belated. Gee, thanks. Lily, our daughter, moved out and then moved back in.

Randy Warner: 04:04

Yep.

Shiloh Warner: 04:06

So and then just like lots of things, my other partner, Chris, I started staying with them, like, during the middle of the week. Yeah. So my time is split between Sacramento and Yuba City, which that was a big adjustment, like a big mental adjustment. Yeah. And, you know, just my own interests have like evolved and changed.

Randy Warner: 04:37

I feel like you've really started to like explore your actual interests like like like you're you started like, you know what, I've always wanted to do this. I'm just gonna start doing it. Right. Which that has

Shiloh Warner: 04:48

not been me for I won't say for most of my life, but I mean I always had things I was interested in, but very seldom did I just say, I'm just gonna do it.

Randy Warner: 05:03

Is there a reason that you never said I'm just gonna do it, or was it a mental block, was it just like, didn't feel like a priority?

Shiloh Warner: 05:14

I think that for a long time, I've been a mom of kids since I was 19 years old. And you kind of just

Randy Warner: 05:30

Starting a little young there. Don't shame him. Thought you would get a little chuckle out of that.

Shiloh Warner: 05:41

So, you know, for like, I mean, let's see. Lily moved out last year, and that was like the first time that there was no kids here.

Randy Warner: 05:51

Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 05:51

I mean, I mean, she wasn't a kid, but you know

Randy Warner: 05:53

what Yeah. Like the house is

Shiloh Warner: 05:54

fully house was fully empty. So, yeah, that's like thirty years of being available as a parent.

Randy Warner: 06:05

Yeah, yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 06:07

And I think sometimes I used that as an excuse to not do the things. Know, because doing the things is scary.

Randy Warner: 06:18

It is scary.

Shiloh Warner: 06:19

Like, just making a decision to freaking do something.

Randy Warner: 06:22

Like, yeah, like, it like becomes I don't know if it like becomes your identity, like, all of a sudden it's like, oh, this is what what I'm doing. This is who I am.

Shiloh Warner: 06:32

Yeah. And there's like a lot of pressure once you decide to do something. Yeah. Or and a lot of that is like just pressure that you make that you put on yourself.

Randy Warner: 06:40

It's probably mostly always that. Feel Yeah. Like

Shiloh Warner: 06:42

It's very seldom pressure from other people to like follow through.

Randy Warner: 06:47

I've never had anyone say like, bro, you're still going to dance class? You still hey, man. You still drawing? Well, let me see your drawings. Have you done drawings lately?

Randy Warner: 06:55

Like, is it getting better? I've never had anyone do that ever. So

Shiloh Warner: 07:00

Yeah. So let's just let's just go with all of the pressures internal that you place on yourself for it to be something.

Randy Warner: 07:07

Should we should we start doing that to people?

Shiloh Warner: 07:10

Oh, probably.

Randy Warner: 07:10

Like be be an external pressure so they don't feel so much pressure on their own. I mean,

Shiloh Warner: 07:13

it's probably helpful.

Randy Warner: 07:14

Yeah. Just start finding people what their hobbies are and be like, bro, let's see the progress now.

Shiloh Warner: 07:18

You can hire yourself out.

Randy Warner: 07:19

As the progress

Shiloh Warner: 07:20

The progress bully.

Randy Warner: 07:21

Yeah. Hard this podcast is rated PG, progress bully. I don't know why PB. I said PG. It sounded good.

Randy Warner: 07:34

My my head, I thought it all the way through. My out loud.

Shiloh Warner: 07:35

Progress gully. Oh,

Randy Warner: 07:39

I feel like somebody needs to bully me about this this podcast and hopefully I'll improve.

Shiloh Warner: 07:45

So, I mean, to your question, yeah, there was the reason being is because I was a parent for so long and then I sort of got in the habit of using parenting as an excuse to not go after the things that I found interesting, to not follow my curiosity. And then that saved me from having to be accountable to myself.

Randy Warner: 08:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Shiloh Warner: 08:14

But then as a result of that, then I always felt like I never do anything. And I felt bad about myself.

Randy Warner: 08:24

Did you feel like your identity was a mom for so long? And then when the kids moved out, it's like, oh, shit, I don't have an identity. I don't know who I am.

Shiloh Warner: 08:33

Yeah, a little bit. But I mean, never thought that I would be that because I have for myself the identity of mom, like in quotes. Like, I never felt like, oh, I'm the mom. You know what I mean? I never felt like that.

Shiloh Warner: 08:52

So that's why it was weird to me.

Randy Warner: 08:53

Because you're a cool mom.

Shiloh Warner: 08:55

Well, tried to. Yeah. I to be cool mom. I don't know if I succeeded, but you know, I tried to, like, I'd never, and I think maybe that's because I started so young, that I never really felt like mom. Kids were never, I never fantasized about being a mom.

Shiloh Warner: 09:15

That was never like, Oh, I want to be a mom and I want babies. It was a surprise to start. Lily was also a surprise because we never really thought about having kids. Yeah. You didn't want any for a long time.

Randy Warner: 09:34

I liked kids, but I also never pictured myself as like, oh, I'm gonna have some kids. I felt like I would never have been ready for my whole life kind of thing.

Shiloh Warner: 09:45

Right, yeah. So anyway, like I never really felt like a mom, which is why it came as a surprise to me as Lily graduated from high school and then, you know, was very independent and then she moved out and it was like, oh, I don't have anything. Yeah. I don't have, like, I don't actually have an identity. And since my identity was never mom, I actually never had one.

Shiloh Warner: 10:13

It's just like a ghost.

Randy Warner: 10:16

I don't know why that was my ghost sound.

Shiloh Warner: 10:19

Or at least in my own mind.

Randy Warner: 10:20

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 10:21

You know, like I lived my life as a ghost kind of, like without anything solid.

Randy Warner: 10:30

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 10:31

And so anyway, so all of that happened last year, which then I was like, well, shit, I need to come up with some things. I need to like, what am I curious about? What do I want to follow or try or, you know,

Randy Warner: 10:49

anyway. Did you follow anything? Did you try anything? I tried lots of things. Alright.

Randy Warner: 10:55

Does it feel like like oh, yeah. Does it feel like that was the right move? Like, oh, I'm glad I are you glad that you went out on a limb and tried tried to do something? Oh, wasn't like, was like, no, my identity is no identity.

Shiloh Warner: 11:06

Like that identity. I love that. And it's weird. Okay. So some of the things that I've been getting into is herbalism, for one.

Shiloh Warner: 11:18

I've studying that for about a year, and I will probably study that for the rest of my life. There's so much.

Randy Warner: 11:26

There's a lot.

Shiloh Warner: 11:28

It's not a thing where you're like, oh, I learned this and now I'm done.

Randy Warner: 11:32

I love I love that you're like exploring it and making like all sorts of delicious teas that are like have beneficial properties and your I think my favorite things are like your sleepy concoctions that either, like, knock me out or I have, like, the wildest dreams. Excuse me. And I'm looking forward to a dream specific

Shiloh Warner: 11:52

Oh, yeah.

Randy Warner: 11:53

You know, tea that you're gonna make me at some point in time.

Shiloh Warner: 11:58

And then what else? So with my metamore, I have a podcast about Enneagram and using the Enneagram to navigate relationships. I feel like I said that word, Enneagram. We've been doing that for a couple of years and we have a lot of fun doing that. And that's very, very interesting to me.

Shiloh Warner: 12:21

Like the reasons behind why people do the things that they do or choose the things that they choose is so interesting to me. And I've really enjoyed getting into the Enneagram sort of like the whole thing about it is so rich and deep.

Randy Warner: 12:39

The Enneagram is almost like a Myers Briggs. Like, it's it's not that, but it's like it's a personality break.

Shiloh Warner: 12:46

Yeah. But also so much more than that.

Randy Warner: 12:48

Yeah. Yeah. That that that's like the very basic.

Shiloh Warner: 12:50

Very basically, yes. And then

Randy Warner: 12:54

But it goes it goes

Shiloh Warner: 12:55

super It starts there.

Randy Warner: 12:56

Yeah. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 12:56

Yeah. Yeah. It's really almost a spiritual path, especially if you believe that everything is spiritual, which I do. So, yeah. So anyway, getting into that, like, that's just part of now has become just like part of my vernacular and my thought process.

Shiloh Warner: 13:16

Everyone that I meet, I'm like, oh, I wonder

Randy Warner: 13:19

What number are you?

Shiloh Warner: 13:20

What number are they? Where do they like fall on the spectrum? You know, that kind of thing.

Randy Warner: 13:26

Yeah, yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 13:27

So those two things have been probably the main things. I did mindfulness certification, and that's been really important to myself and my own mental health, like, just learning that stuff.

Randy Warner: 13:48

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 13:48

I taught it for a while at Sedona Project. I'm not doing that currently, but I did for a while.

Randy Warner: 13:58

And that was that was fantastic, you know. Yeah. Just going through the mindfulness practices and with a little group.

Shiloh Warner: 14:03

And always but the interesting thing is that with all of that stuff, I don't I have such a hard time of saying, oh, I'm a podcaster. Oh, I am a mindfulness teacher. I am an herbalist. I have such a hard time.

Randy Warner: 14:24

It is I don't know if it's just like a type of person, because I'm the same way. I don't identify I will never call myself a podcast. I probably will at some point in time, I feel like. I I would never claim I would say I have a podcast, but I would never call myself a podcaster. I would, you know, say I do stand up sometimes, but I never call myself a comic.

Shiloh Warner: 14:48

Oh, right.

Randy Warner: 14:49

Yeah. Like, there's like, I rarely will I just started, like, owning that I'm a creative even though I don't know if I actually like believe that's yet still to be honest with you. Because I yeah. I I just like like it's one of those things where it's very hard to like, oh, I'm a mindfulness coach. I'm a podcaster.

Randy Warner: 15:07

I'm a whatever it is. It's very hard to like just own that. And I think that's maybe because once you do then that's then you can I don't know if can start being judged on that or

Shiloh Warner: 15:16

Or there's like a there's like a pressure kind of Yeah?

Randy Warner: 15:18

Yeah. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 15:19

That you put on yourself again.

Randy Warner: 15:20

Yeah. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 15:21

Like to to do something with that. Like, even though you are doing something with it. Yeah. If that makes sense.

Randy Warner: 15:28

Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 15:28

Yeah. Yeah. There's like a pressure of like, oh, now everybody's watching me do this. And if I don't continue to do it or if I, you know, if I'm bad at it or whatever, now everybody's gonna be like, really? Was about Calling yourself a podcaster and this is the swill that you put into the world.

Randy Warner: 15:46

This makes me think of like people in photography, and I'm in like photography groups, and I'll see people like, hey, this is my photography that and this is I guess a shot at people. I don't know. I do photography. I would never come myself a photographer ever. But like, I'll see people like, I'm doing I'm doing shot I'm doing family shots and yada yada.

Randy Warner: 16:08

And I'm like, what are you doing with the iPhone? Like, what are you like, this is these are not good none of these are good photos, man. Like like, how are you so confident that you're a fucking photographer and you're gonna you're gonna announce your services to everyone when, like like and I I I'm not a great at a lot of things, but I am super good at Critiquing? People's anything. If you want me to critique something with honesty, even if I'm not an expert in that thing, I might be the wrong critique, but that's okay.

Randy Warner: 16:36

I will critique it.

Shiloh Warner: 16:37

Another side hustle.

Randy Warner: 16:38

Yes. I'm a

Shiloh Warner: 16:42

We're just an extra service

Randy Warner: 16:43

I'm on your a progress bully and a and a critique if you, you know, if you need it. So but I I just admire those people that's like, I wish I had that much confidence to say I could be anything. Like and they they have no, like, realize they have no understanding that's like that their work's not that great, that they're and again, there's no offense. Like, they'll probably get better better than me. Yeah.

Randy Warner: 17:06

I'm not saying I'm good at any of that stuff, but it just like, it blows my mind when it's like, I know that's not that good. Like, I

Shiloh Warner: 17:12

Right. So, like, what is, like, is that? Like, your aversion to calling yourself a specific thing, is it because, do you think your brain is so hypercritical of other people that do? Or is your brain hypercritical because it feels gross to you to call yourself that? Like, it's a chicken and egg situation.

Randy Warner: 17:35

Yeah. Don't know. Oh, damn. I was just gonna say something. I just had a thought and I just went Well, shit.

Randy Warner: 17:42

Chicken If you were a real podcaster, you wouldn't have been I know. Damn me. I'm lame. I'm gonna hang up my hat right now.

Shiloh Warner: 17:51

You can hang up your headphones.

Randy Warner: 17:54

Damn. I had a I had a good thought on that, and I don't know what it was. Anyway, well, sorry guys. There's a piece piece of wisdom you guys are not getting. It was fantastic.

Randy Warner: 18:03

It was mind blowing. Possibly the best wisdom you've ever heard. There's no better wisdom. It was beautiful wisdom. Also will not call myself an impersonationist.

Randy Warner: 18:17

I don't think that's a thing, so it's probably good you're not

Shiloh Warner: 18:20

calling yourself that. But anyway, it's been for me, it's that's one of the things that I'm working on, I think. It's like getting comfortable on calling myself.

Randy Warner: 18:31

A thing.

Shiloh Warner: 18:32

A thing. Yeah. And just letting it be that. I like it.

Randy Warner: 18:39

Yeah. I love that. That that I feel like that's like big a big accomplishment. There's like the the your frog what's the the impostor syndrome? Like like, it's just

Shiloh Warner: 18:48

Yeah. You just feel like

Randy Warner: 18:49

It's probably You just probably feel like you're just

Shiloh Warner: 18:52

It's like, really impostor. Yeah. Like, it feels gross and everybody's gonna know that I'm not really that.

Randy Warner: 18:59

I I know what I was gonna say. Going back to like the people that have all this confidence in something and just like, oh, come on, man. Like, whatever. Do you ever wonder, like, what part of me has confidence in something like that that I don't realize?

Shiloh Warner: 19:13

Like, in Like, In something I do?

Randy Warner: 19:14

Well, I'm I'm I'm not saying you have answer this, but, like, sometimes sometimes I wonder, like, like, is there a thing where that, like, I'm the photography guy that's like, dude, I'm the photographer. Let me take your pictures. My pictures suck. I just don't know it. Like, what piece of me believes something that I'm great at that like, oh, man.

Randy Warner: 19:30

Like, this is and again, this is more of I'm just throwing this out there as a thought, you know, a thought experiment kind of thing. Yeah. It's almost like the cult. Like, I would never join a cult. And I'm sure there's something that's like, no, dude.

Randy Warner: 19:43

This is the way it is, man. I'm sure there's something I'm culty about that I just don't realize. But I would never join a cult. I just wonder like I we feel all have those things that's like, I would never, it's like bro, you're doing that right now. We all see you like, I don't know what you're talking about.

Randy Warner: 20:01

Well,

Shiloh Warner: 20:05

now I just had a thought and it's gone. Cursed me. But there is a little part, like, for somebody like the photographer person who's like, I'm a photographer, and you think they're taking terrible pictures, there is also still a part of me that I'm jealous of their confidence.

Randy Warner: 20:28

A 100%.

Shiloh Warner: 20:29

Like, even though in my head I'm like, come on, I'm also super jealous

Randy Warner: 20:33

Do you think like what Of their confidence. Goes on in your brain that you're just like, yeah. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 20:38

Like, yeah. I'm and maybe I'm just not that kind of a person.

Randy Warner: 20:42

Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 20:42

Like, maybe I just don't have that. Or and I don't know. Is that something, like, that you can get? Like, can you practice that?

Randy Warner: 20:51

Yeah. Yeah. I wonder. It feels like to me, feels like you can't, but also I'm old and it's like, okay. Like, I don't know.

Randy Warner: 20:57

Like, it just feels like you have to have you maybe your parents were overly encouraging or something or I I don't know. I don't know. And again, it's probably not a bad trade. I'm not saying it's like a bad thing.

Shiloh Warner: 21:07

It's No. It's

Randy Warner: 21:08

good. It is good.

Shiloh Warner: 21:09

It is good. And it's like it also goes to that, like, we should be it feels gross, but we should do say more things of like, I'm proud of myself for this.

Randy Warner: 21:22

Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 21:22

Or you know, because we don't do that. And it doesn't it doesn't feel good.

Randy Warner: 21:30

Yeah. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 21:30

Yeah. It feels really good when someone else says

Randy Warner: 21:32

it. Yes.

Shiloh Warner: 21:33

It doesn't feel good when we say it. And why is that?

Randy Warner: 21:37

If you need someone to come around and tell you Hang on, this is gonna be funny. Something's gonna be funny. Wanna be a laugh. And tell you they're proud of you, you can hire me the proud boy. I'll just come I'll just come around and tell you how proud I am.

Randy Warner: 21:51

Proud proud boy for hire. Proud boy for hire. Oh my god. The world is triggered. I just thought that was a funny, like, throwback to, I don't know, 2023, whenever that was a thing.

Randy Warner: 22:03

I don't know. Okay. I'm done with my little my little bit there. My little bit.

Shiloh Warner: 22:10

What are you, a comedian? Never. Never.

Randy Warner: 22:14

Also, it was a a

Shiloh Warner: 22:15

comic. Oh, sorry.

Randy Warner: 22:18

There's a difference.

Shiloh Warner: 22:19

What is the difference?

Randy Warner: 22:20

I always forget like the the little tagline. It's like one of them says things funny, the other one does it in a funny way. I I forget there there's There's a certain way.

Shiloh Warner: 22:30

Really? I just

Randy Warner: 22:31

Yeah. No. Yeah. There's a difference. I feel like some people are like, butthurt about it.

Randy Warner: 22:34

Some people are like, whatever, comedian comedian.

Shiloh Warner: 22:36

So like a stand up comedian oh, is a comic, but not a comedian. A comedian is like somebody in a movie who does funny things?

Randy Warner: 22:48

I think so. Like, I I feel like I've yeah. I this is probably not I don't know. Google it, guys. Google it.

Randy Warner: 22:54

If you Google comic versus comedian, it will tell you something. It'll tell you something.

Shiloh Warner: 23:02

That's interesting. I didn't know. I learned a thing.

Randy Warner: 23:05

It's pretty interesting.

Shiloh Warner: 23:07

I mean, some of the things, like so basically, I am just figuring life out as it comes at me. Yeah. Which is, it's exciting, And it's also taught me a lot about having grace for myself and having grace for other people. I think that as I get older, I have all of those, when you're in your twenties, you're very idealized. Things Yeah, yeah, should be this way, and life should be this way, and I'm going to do this, and then it's going to be this.

Shiloh Warner: 23:54

And the older I get, and the more that I have seen of myself, and of just humanity in general, the more I have just like softness

Randy Warner: 24:06

Yeah. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 24:07

Around humaning.

Randy Warner: 24:08

Yeah. I I agree. I agree.

Shiloh Warner: 24:10

And I I didn't have that, like, for a long time. And a lot of that is like religion stuff Oh. In my past.

Randy Warner: 24:21

Do you have religious trauma, would you say? Or just religious I don't know.

Shiloh Warner: 24:29

I'm gonna say trauma because it's it's it falls under the definition

Randy Warner: 24:34

Of trauma. Of trauma.

Shiloh Warner: 24:40

But yeah, and I kind of, I mean, I don't really, but like for a while I had a lot of like guilt around mindsets that I had around people and who didn't fall into the very narrow ideas of what's acceptable that religion gave me. And the very harmful thoughts about like, God loves you, but also you are worthy of eternal burning punishment. So figure that out.

Randy Warner: 25:23

It's a fine line, you gotta walk it's I a fine feel like I got so lucky with the religious trauma stuff because like my Yeah. Minimal experience of church was like, hey, man. Jesus loves you no matter what. Like, okay, and? There's no and, man.

Randy Warner: 25:34

He just loves you. Like, do mean? He just loves me. Like, yeah. Yeah.

Randy Warner: 25:36

Just so I I never had this. Like, it's so, like, 10,000,000 people that have the I wanna say the exact same trauma, but like they have religious, you know, oh, the church they went to taught this and

Shiloh Warner: 26:03

Yeah.

Randy Warner: 26:03

They are, you know, having the guilt and and working through a lot of that, like, unwinding those beliefs

Shiloh Warner: 26:10

Right, that they yeah. Grew up I mean, I've unwound them mostly.

Randy Warner: 26:15

Yeah, yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 26:17

And so the interesting thing is that at first, as I was unwinding, I had a lot of anger. I had a lot of, I can't really, I can't go to church, I can't be anywhere around where religious things are happening, because it was too much for my system. But then as I've grown as a person and become more into myself, and that softening for being human, I'd see all of these people within the confines of religion, they're human too. And just because I don't believe any more the same things that they do, doesn't mean that I can't allow myself to feel softness towards them.

Randy Warner: 27:13

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Shiloh Warner: 27:14

They're doing the best with what they know.

Randy Warner: 27:17

Yes.

Shiloh Warner: 27:18

And even if sometimes, and even if oftentimes that's problematic, I don't hold or harbor hate toward anyone.

Randy Warner: 27:27

I think that is one of the most important, like, attitudes to have in this world of understanding that people are people and we've grown up with this programming of whatever it looks like. Maybe it's terrible programming, but we don't we can't like, that was their programming. Like, can't they it's gonna take they have to realize they that was their upbringing and they have to It's hard to change. Some people, the code's a little more hard coded than other people.

Shiloh Warner: 27:54

Anybody who's suffered through anything hard, like say you went through an abusive romantic relationship, and that's what you knew of what love was. And then when you try to go out and love again, you keep finding yourselves in yourself in these same patterns because you can't, it's not easy to just get out of it. And for all those people who are still in that place where they believe these things that are harmful to other people and they don't see it as harmful, there's no way that you can argue it out

Randy Warner: 28:37

of If you don't see it's harmful, it's hard to like, oh, I realize I'm doing something maybe not the best.

Shiloh Warner: 28:43

They're not going to see that.

Randy Warner: 28:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're going to have grace for that.

Shiloh Warner: 28:50

You have to have grace for that. You also have to have really good boundaries.

Randy Warner: 28:53

Yes.

Shiloh Warner: 28:54

Ability And to walk away.

Randy Warner: 28:59

Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 29:01

And those, you mean that's what's, that is how you create your own peace around it.

Randy Warner: 29:09

Yep. So That was my

Shiloh Warner: 29:11

understanding. I mean, that was a weird offshoot of the conversation.

Randy Warner: 29:14

Sorry. We can I I don't know?

Shiloh Warner: 29:16

I don't remember what we were talking about. Religious trauma. No. That led into that conversation.

Randy Warner: 29:22

Oh, yeah. What what was going on? Finding ourselves. Yeah, no clue, no clue.

Shiloh Warner: 29:31

So, yeah. So let me think here. Where I'm at right now, in the middle of figuring things out on the fly, as life, life's, oh, and I was talking about being soft towards everyone who's just trying to exist in a world that makes it hard sometimes to exist. And so for myself, I have developed a lot of softness and I love myself. Like, don't know if I could always say that.

Shiloh Warner: 30:08

I've always been able to say that in my life, but I love myself. And I know I'm not perfect. I don't love myself in a way that says, I'm perfect and I never do anything wrong, but I am mostly pretty good at not beating myself up, but also learning from things that happen. And if I made a mistake, that radical responsibility piece in which I have learned that I will always, always take responsibility for my part in everything that happens. And I very seldom will point a finger at someone else and say, but you did this, because I have found that that's not very helpful.

Randy Warner: 31:02

It's not helpful.

Shiloh Warner: 31:04

So I think sometimes it can be frustrating to, not frustrating, but like, if everybody in the relationship is taking full responsibility for everything all of the time, I don't know. Sometimes it's weird. It's weird if everybody

Randy Warner: 31:26

What do you mean? Like, what's weird about it?

Shiloh Warner: 31:30

It feels like it's like the chipmunks in the cartoon where it's like, no, after you, no, after you.

Randy Warner: 31:36

Oh, oh, oh.

Shiloh Warner: 31:37

After you, nobody goes through the door.

Randy Warner: 31:41

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 31:42

That's funny. But yeah, it was like, no, no, no, no, no. It was me. It was my fault. It was me.

Shiloh Warner: 31:46

I did this. I did this. And the other person was like, no, no, no, no, no. It was me. I did this.

Randy Warner: 31:51

I mean, I I I I make sure to have like an I told you so, like queued up for for this I totally do.

Shiloh Warner: 31:57

That's been great. Let me tell you.

Randy Warner: 32:01

It's very growing like like, yeah, this part of this is my responsibility, but also I told you so. I told you so. You know, it keeps it keeps us growing is what I think, you know, if I didn't have those in stock.

Shiloh Warner: 32:15

So we talked about, like, not being able to call yourself a thing. We talked about religious trauma. We talked about radical responsibility. I'm trying to think what else what else

Randy Warner: 32:29

can we talk about? I mean, I I always wanna like, my my current focus or whatever or, what the universe is telling me is community, creativity. Yeah. And that kinda maybe goes along with, like, exploring, who am I? What am I doing?

Randy Warner: 32:47

I just had this call of, dude, be creative. Be creative. And I never identify as a creative person. I don't know why. I mean, I do know why.

Randy Warner: 32:55

It's strictly because I can't draw. Like that is strictly That's

Shiloh Warner: 32:58

so crazy to me.

Randy Warner: 32:59

Because I can't draw a picture.

Shiloh Warner: 33:01

There's so many other aspects

Randy Warner: 33:02

of creativity. Think like, oh, I can have ideas but I can't get them in real I can't make them in real life. And so I never thought of myself as a creative person for the longest time. And and I've started to, like, slowly build that up over, no, I am a creative person that can't draw. But

Shiloh Warner: 33:20

I bet there's a lot of creative people that can't draw.

Randy Warner: 33:22

I don't believe it. Know. It's one of those things. It just it feels it feels weird to me that I don't know. It's it's a weird thing that I have.

Randy Warner: 33:30

I don't know. I don't even know why I have that belief.

Shiloh Warner: 33:32

It must be yeah. Something must have happened to you when you were a kid.

Randy Warner: 33:37

That damn teacher.

Shiloh Warner: 33:38

Yes. That made you believe that you that drawing was the you're

Randy Warner: 33:42

The key.

Shiloh Warner: 33:43

That's your end. That's the door to creativity. So

Randy Warner: 33:46

Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 33:47

You can't if you can't do that.

Randy Warner: 33:49

I just like everything like art class was always like, oh, I'm gonna I mean, yeah. It's like paint this picture. Pastels to do this thing. And and

Shiloh Warner: 33:55

And you got an f.

Randy Warner: 33:56

No. I I got one of my I got a penguin picture in seventh grade hung up on the wall. Like, yeah. So it's like, I'm pretty good at this art stuff. So I don't know why I have that weird can't draw just FYI.

Randy Warner: 34:07

Don't know why I did such a good penguin picture in seventh grade, but I did. Yeah, I don't creativity has been it's been like calling me and which has been nice because that's kinda you kind of had a creative like Yeah. I wanna be more creative. So so we our creativity callings have aligned. And so we've been trying to be more creative with the community.

Randy Warner: 34:27

And just, you know, just on my own have been know, which this kinda led me back to podcasting. I wanna start writing a little bit, just whatever thoughts and, you know, think about things and just do I get back into photography and start taking more pictures and just being more creative, just trying more creative pursuits.

Shiloh Warner: 34:46

Do you think that sort of incorporating that as a part of your identity has made it easier to do the things?

Randy Warner: 34:55

I don't know because I feel like I still struggle with identifying as a creative a little bit. Mhmm. Like, I definitely don't think I'm uncreative. Like, I I I think I'm creative and I have maybe a hard time just really, like, owning it truthfully that I am a creative.

Shiloh Warner: 35:12

Yeah.

Randy Warner: 35:14

But like my my hard thing is just actually doing it. Like I'll think a lot, but it's actually doing creative stuff. And so maybe that's part of like not feeling creative because I'll maybe think about things, but I won't actually do them. Yeah. Where I feel like creative people are like, I'm gonna just build a moat in my house today.

Randy Warner: 35:30

And they'll just be like, built a moat. Like, I'm just gonna you know what I think I'm gonna wear today? Something I make right now. Like, okay. And then they, you know, And I'm sure like Instagram, you know, culture of like

Shiloh Warner: 35:40

Oh, yeah.

Randy Warner: 35:41

Like seeing everyone just make everything and do all this creative stuff. And it's like, dang.

Shiloh Warner: 35:44

I mean, if you saw them in the rest of their lives, it probably wouldn't be.

Randy Warner: 35:47

They probably don't have their shit together at all.

Shiloh Warner: 35:49

No. Yeah. It was just for making their

Randy Warner: 35:51

their babies. That's my what I I have to believe. So just let me have that one. So, yeah, just being being creative. I just yeah.

Randy Warner: 36:00

So I'm just trying to, like, start. I'm trying to really, like, focus on doing, which I I I do have like ADHD and executive dysfunction, so doing things sometimes is really hard for me to actually like start doing things. But I've been really trying to focus on starting things, which is good why like our little KFO group is it forces me a little bit to do something. Which what is KFO for the people? Craft around find out.

Randy Warner: 36:22

KFO is our monthly I'm a say monthly ish, but pretty pretty monthly. Yeah. Community crafting community collective creative collective. Yeah. Creative

Shiloh Warner: 36:32

collective. C's. Three c's.

Randy Warner: 36:34

Three yeah. So it's just it's just like where we just invite people over to just be creative with us with anything. Like, it doesn't have to be like drawing. It could be, you know, fiber

Shiloh Warner: 36:44

mostly not.

Randy Warner: 36:45

It's yeah. It's mostly not. It could be fiber arts. It could be collaging. It could be music.

Randy Warner: 36:49

It could be baking. If you just wanna be creative in the kitchen and just, you know, and a lot of times, like me, like, maybe this goes back to like personal growth is I have a very hard time of doing things for myself.

Shiloh Warner: 37:00

Mhmm.

Randy Warner: 37:01

And I always I had this weird thought one time of like, dude I should get like a group together to like meet up at like Starbucks at like six in the morning and we can work on things and all that stuff. And like I would show up a 100% of the time to that. I would do it zero times. Like I could I could either do this thing to create a group, invite people, get a group going, set this set up, you know, agenda and and you know, get people to do this. I could never just wake up at six at my own house and just start doing it.

Randy Warner: 37:29

Like, I I could do this exact thing by myself at my home right now. Yeah. But I wouldn't show up for it. But I would show up for anybody.

Shiloh Warner: 37:35

Well, mean, that part of that is the accountability piece. Yeah. Which you create when you make the group.

Randy Warner: 37:41

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 37:43

You know, like, the first two CAFOs that we had, we had a very large shrimp. How did do two or three?

Randy Warner: 37:50

I also wanna say we done four.

Shiloh Warner: 37:51

I mean, this last one was four, think.

Randy Warner: 37:53

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 37:54

So the first three, like, we had a lot of people. And then this last time, we had one person. And, like, we just the four of us, Randy, me, this person, and Lil, we just sat around and we all still did it. So because she came, and I probably would've still done it anyways, even if she didn't, because we set the date, we, you know

Randy Warner: 38:19

We got the snacks.

Shiloh Warner: 38:20

We got snacks. Got the supplies here now. Space is ready. So just by creating the event

Randy Warner: 38:28

We almost made like a ritual around doing it versus having to make the decision.

Shiloh Warner: 38:33

But if we tried to make that event without first inviting everyone and having people come to do it, I don't know that there would be momentum to continue doing it.

Randy Warner: 38:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 38:46

Just on our own.

Randy Warner: 38:47

Yeah. If we decided, hey, Saturdays, we're gonna you know, once a month, we're gonna make a craft day for ourselves. We wouldn't

Shiloh Warner: 38:54

So and I I mean, I think that sort of speaks to the fact that community is very important to you.

Randy Warner: 39:02

Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's wildly important to me, which is something I feel like I have not done well at initiating community. I I I'm I'm a very much like, if you invite me to something, I'll try to go.

Randy Warner: 39:18

Yeah. But, like, me, like, initiating feels very hard. Or or, like, this is like the whole village, the village like be a villager of

Shiloh Warner: 39:25

Yeah.

Randy Warner: 39:26

Everyone wants to part of the village, but nobody wants to

Shiloh Warner: 39:29

Be a villager?

Randy Warner: 39:29

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We we we don't wanna be a villager. We don't wanna say like, hey, let's get together.

Randy Warner: 39:33

Or a lot of people feel like, hey, I feel like I'm always the one that has to be like, hey, let's get together.

Shiloh Warner: 39:38

Right.

Randy Warner: 39:38

Yeah. And that's kind of I feel like I'm like, I don't ever wanna be the one that starts I I don't know. I don't know what my Yeah. I feel like I I I'm very random, to be honest with you.

Shiloh Warner: 39:49

I and I mean, like, once you put it out there, then you're responsible to for following through.

Randy Warner: 39:55

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 39:56

So there is an aspect of, like, do I wanna be responsible for having to do this now? You know that whole thing, like, where you make a plan, and then five minutes after you make a plan, you're like, shit, I don't wanna

Randy Warner: 40:07

do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 40:08

Even if it was something you super wanted to do five minutes ago.

Randy Warner: 40:11

Yeah, yeah, because now it's like, now

Shiloh Warner: 40:12

you Now you have have to to

Randy Warner: 40:13

do it. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 40:16

But I also, and I've been seeing lots of stuff about this too in the social media world, but I miss the just the casual hangout. Just the casual hang, yeah. Like, hey, you wanna like, not every time does it have to be a big thing.

Randy Warner: 40:36

Yeah. You don't have to like, okay, we're clear we're doing we're tired of getting the Windex out and cleaning all the windows and we're gonna get a three course, you know, chip tray. Chip tray.

Shiloh Warner: 40:47

I mean, I probably would still maybe not a chip tray, but I probably would still do that just because I

Randy Warner: 40:51

had But extra like we wouldn't like, oh, we're grilling hot dogs and burgers and chicken and and like like like you could just also you go overboard on that stuff.

Shiloh Warner: 40:59

I go overboard a

Randy Warner: 41:00

100%. That's true. But like you can just be like, hey, I feel like it's like the Thursday night something where it's the forget I forgot what's called, but it's like, Just come on over. The we'll see what's in the cupboards, and we're just gonna whatever. We're gonna play some cards and just hang out and have a glass of wine.

Randy Warner: 41:18

And Yeah. There's no, like, you don't have to vacuum every fiber in the cart. Like like, you're just like, yeah, my house is in a little bit of disarray from the week and just come over and bring something if you got it or

Shiloh Warner: 41:29

Yeah. But we've, like, so curated our hangouts

Randy Warner: 41:36

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 41:37

That it's really hard to just be like, hey, just you just wanna come over? Yeah. We can watch this show.

Randy Warner: 41:44

Here's what I want everyone to do. I want everyone to go to someone's house this week and just show up. Just like 06:30, just just go to a friend's house, knock on the door and be

Shiloh Warner: 41:51

like, hey, you wanna hang out?

Randy Warner: 41:52

Just be hey, buddy. Like, what but you gotta ride your bike over there. That's the thing. Ride your bike to a friend's house. Six, 06:30, you know, just knock on the door and be like, hey, let's go maybe bring a mitt and a ball and just play some catch or something.

Randy Warner: 42:09

Right there in the front yard.

Shiloh Warner: 42:11

Yeah. And so I think this is something that we're trying to figure out.

Randy Warner: 42:15

Yes. A 100%.

Shiloh Warner: 42:17

Like, how do we incorporate that? And honestly, into a life that's really busy.

Randy Warner: 42:24

Yes. Yes.

Shiloh Warner: 42:25

Yes. Like, you have another partner

Randy Warner: 42:27

Yes.

Shiloh Warner: 42:28

That you see every week.

Randy Warner: 42:30

Mhmm.

Shiloh Warner: 42:30

And I'm gone half of the week in the middle. And then on top of that, we both have different friend groups and also some same friend groups. We have family stuff. We are both on the board of the Sedona Project, so we've got a lot of Sedona stuff that we are involved in.

Randy Warner: 42:55

So it's

Shiloh Warner: 42:55

not we're just sitting around at home most of the time thinking, what are we gonna do today? Like, that's not our life. Yeah. But we still it's important to us to be available to people.

Randy Warner: 43:09

Yes.

Shiloh Warner: 43:09

Yes. So I think I feel like going back to the sort of theme of figuring life out as it comes, like this is something that we're figuring out because it's starting to feel necessary to build a supportive community. Yeah. Now, that means that we have to be the ones to start it, you know, to start the ball rolling or, you know, find something that's like somebody else that's doing that, whatever, it doesn't really matter. But I feel like I just feel like socially, because we've been so disconnected for so, so long, it's really starting to come out, like come to the forefront of like, this is not good.

Randy Warner: 43:56

This is not yeah. I like this ties into our thing a little bit here. But the thought we've talked about this before, but the idea of you know, we talked about curated stuff and I feel like with friends, sometimes we want to have, like, curated friends where it's always perfect. It's always, like, this the the relationship's always good. And, and then, like, if somebody's too much, I'm trying to kinda say this, but, like, but, like, like, oh, this person needs something like like we, you know, like we like ourselves don't want to be an inconvenience to somebody else.

Randy Warner: 44:33

So so we never want to say, hey, I need something. And I feel like a lot of people are like that now. So it's like we're we're all Instagram in real life of like, we don't want to need we we we don't want someone to need us. And

Shiloh Warner: 44:46

And we also don't want to be the person who needs anything.

Randy Warner: 44:49

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So So so so we so we wind up in this situation where we're not really connecting and, like like, we don't we're not like, hey. I need a ride to the airport.

Randy Warner: 45:02

Like Yeah. It's it's like it's like, like, we wanna I guess maybe our minded community is like, hey. Somebody needs a ride to the airport. Dude, we got you. You you need to get up at 3AM.

Randy Warner: 45:11

Like, I that's inconvenient for me. I'm happy to do it for you. Right. Like like I'd say, it's not a you're not putting me out. You're not this isn't an inconvenience.

Randy Warner: 45:17

It's not, you know, it's an inconvenience, but it's not at all. I'm happy to do it. Yeah. I didn't really, like

Shiloh Warner: 45:25

Plan that out.

Randy Warner: 45:26

I didn't really say that thought well. No. So I'm gonna let you guys put together whatever I was trying to say there. Just ask ask your friends for some help if you need some help. I don't know.

Randy Warner: 45:35

I I

Shiloh Warner: 45:36

feel Well, like it's like, it's a it's a whole symptom of the disconnection. Right? Yeah. Yeah. We don't wanna be for one, we don't wanna appear as needy, which, like, we need to do away with that term Yes.

Shiloh Warner: 45:49

Of needy. Everybody has needs. Even if you suppress them, you have needs. You still have them. And sometimes that will be more, and sometimes that will be less.

Shiloh Warner: 46:03

But more doesn't mean now you are needy because there's so a lot of baggage with that word. So let's just do away with that. You need some things, you ask somebody for some help. But then on the flip side, when also in our brain we're like, we don't need anything, we're appearing to have it all together, blah, blah, blah, then when someone else needs something, it's like, this person, they need stuff all of the time. But that should be, we should have a community where we feel comfortable, like, needing things.

Randy Warner: 46:43

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

Shiloh Warner: 46:45

And we shouldn't punish someone needy by withdrawing friendship and access.

Randy Warner: 46:56

Yes.

Shiloh Warner: 46:58

Which isn't to say that you don't need boundaries because you obviously do. Does it mean that you break down your whole entire life for someone else? You know what I mean? Yeah, And betray your health and like your priorities and your values for someone else. But like most of the time you're probably not

Randy Warner: 47:20

happy Absolutely. To do

Shiloh Warner: 47:23

At least some of the time. And, it also is why we, generally speaking, need more than one person. We need a bunch of people. We need an advisory board.

Randy Warner: 47:33

We need a yeah. We we need our we all need our own personal advisory board. And progress what p m a p b. Progress. What was my Bully.

Randy Warner: 47:43

Progress bully.

Shiloh Warner: 47:46

Can be part of your board.

Randy Warner: 47:47

Yes. Yes. It can be part of your board. So if you need a progress bully Yeah. To give you some feedback.

Shiloh Warner: 47:56

$5 a day.

Randy Warner: 47:57

$5. Yes. For the price of a cup of coffee, less than a cup of coffee in this economy. So

Shiloh Warner: 48:07

what are you finding meaningful right now? Creativity. No.

Randy Warner: 48:12

Yeah. Yeah. I think it just goes back to, like, creativity. Curiosity is a big one and just community connection, like, all all that kind of stuff. It's just it's just been it's been big on my mind, and it's I've been trying to generate more more you know, get more I I don't and I don't know what that looks like or what that means.

Randy Warner: 48:35

I've been trying to go out more and do things more and show up more and invite more and yeah. I don't know what that means exactly, so I'm just kind of exploring it. And

Shiloh Warner: 48:47

And that's what you're figuring out.

Randy Warner: 48:48

That's what I'm kinda figuring out. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 48:50

Yeah. Yeah. Because, like, for

Randy Warner: 48:52

for the longest time, I I would like like, when I think about, like, friends, I have friends and I also feel like I don't have friends in the sense that, like, if I was ever gonna go do something, like, I don't know, like, who am I gonna invite to this? Like, I'm gonna go out I'm gonna go out on the town tonight. Who am I gonna invite? I don't know. So what I would do is I would post on Facebook like, hey, man.

Randy Warner: 49:14

I'm hanging out here. And sometimes people I might see somebody I know that just from showing up. Hopefully, saw me, hey, saw your post on Facebook. I'm gonna come down. And that's like what my friend circle was of whoever would show up, you know you know, because I threw something out there and somebody's like, yeah.

Randy Warner: 49:29

I'll go hang out with you.

Shiloh Warner: 49:30

Yeah.

Randy Warner: 49:31

Where, like, having the people, that I'm close to, like, I don't I I don't always feel like I'm close to someone to where I can just be like, hey, man. Let's let's go out. And I I gotta start changing the mindset to to get those close people, you have to invite them out. Like like like like

Shiloh Warner: 49:48

it's not

Randy Warner: 49:48

it's I I I I don't just have them and those are my people to invite out. I have to work. I have to build that relationship by asking them out.

Shiloh Warner: 49:56

Take work in that sense.

Randy Warner: 49:58

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 49:59

Is that there has to be some intentionality. It's not just gonna fall into your lap, generally speaking

Randy Warner: 50:05

Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 50:06

With a person who just automatically is coming over to your house to hang out or Yeah. Yeah. Like, is always available Yeah. To go with you all the time if they don't know.

Randy Warner: 50:15

And I think I think this goes back to oh gosh. Relationships take intentionality and they take work. Oh god. Going back to trying to curate the perfect friendship where nobody needs anything. Like like Yeah.

Randy Warner: 50:30

Like it doesn't just happen. Like it takes and and that's something I have learned. Like, oh, if I'm intentional with somebody, then we become actual friends. Like like like I've that is like I've actually like learned that in real life of of and I don't know. My mind's just gonna start drifting, I'm gonna jump back to the thing.

Randy Warner: 50:49

But yeah. Yeah. So just the intentionality of friendships is probably a thing that I'm learning and working on and trying to figure out.

Shiloh Warner: 50:56

Yeah. I mean, I probably probably don't invite people to do stuff as often as I should. And I mean, a lot of times that's just due to my busy schedule and that, like, when I'm home, I'm actually home. I just wanna be at home. But I think for me, some of the things that I'm finding meaningful right now are health and holistic health and spirituality as part of that and mind health, brain health health of the body and how it's all interconnected.

Randy Warner: 51:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 51:38

And helping people to find that for themselves, helping people, you know, in whatever way that I can.

Randy Warner: 51:50

Yeah. I don't know where I I I feel like I had a little I I was I was like I was gonna ask about spirituality, but I didn't wanna, like, end up looping back to the conversation. Because, like like like, you have, like, religious stuff and and then Yeah. Which is different than spirituality, but but you you are a very spiritual person.

Shiloh Warner: 52:13

Yeah. I believe that everything is spiritual. Everything that we do, like we are spirit, and we are human. We are both things. We're not a spiritual being having a human experience.

Shiloh Warner: 52:26

We are fully spirit and fully human too. And so it's like finding the places where those two things intersect it can be hard because we can get so granular in our human experience and forget to see the big picture. Or we can be so big picture that we're bypassing the granularity of the human experience. And so like mindfulness practices and also somatic body practices, like where you're really in your body. Like those two things combined, like doing them on the regular, like sort of brings both aspects of who you are into balance.

Shiloh Warner: 53:12

And so you're able to navigate the ins and outs of this often difficult human experience with some grace because you understand that it's not only this. Yeah. It is this and not only this. And there are things at play that we can't see. And it's just wild to me.

Shiloh Warner: 53:38

Like, I love thinking about it because so many things in my life that I thought were tragic at the time have led into something beautiful, have led into an experience that I probably wouldn't have had otherwise without this thing. So yes, there are things that we go through that are so painful, and yet life is beautiful.

Randy Warner: 54:09

I feel like it happens all the time. Is like the, there's an old story about a Japanese farmer.

Shiloh Warner: 54:14

Oh my god. It all comes back to that

Randy Warner: 54:16

I swear to God that's the meaning of life because

Shiloh Warner: 54:19

It's totally.

Randy Warner: 54:20

But anytime I have a conversation, like, I can work into this this Japanese farmer story. I'll tell it at a a end of my next episode. Stick around. But, yeah, I I do feel like it's one of those things where sometimes it feels like we're in the shit and it sucks and it's never gonna end. And it does really seem like that's what leads us to the next step up.

Randy Warner: 54:44

The next the moment of growth. It leads us to it's our cocoon before becoming a butterfly.

Shiloh Warner: 54:50

Right.

Randy Warner: 54:50

Yeah. And it feels like that has happened over and over and over again just in life for me. You just and then next thing know, it's like I'm, you know, flapping my wings.

Shiloh Warner: 55:00

Yeah. And I like sometimes I feel feel bad about, like, spending too much time on TikTok. But occasionally, you come across these gems, and I saw this one, and somebody was talking about the whole point of life is to enjoy the passing of time.

Randy Warner: 55:23

I love that

Shiloh Warner: 55:23

so And I thought that was beautiful, and I was like, I'm adopting that for my own self. Then as I was looking through the comments and someone said that they believed that, or they had changed their belief, that when they die, God would come to them and rather than saying, here is your life, what did you do with it? What did you make of it? Rather, God would say, come to them and say, hey, I gave you sunsets and chocolate and like sex and also dirt and sticking your hands in the dirt and growing things. And I give you rainbows and also rain and clouds.

Shiloh Warner: 56:07

And what was your favorite? What was your favorite thing in all of those things? And it's just such a different mindset.

Randy Warner: 56:18

It is.

Shiloh Warner: 56:18

To take life that way.

Randy Warner: 56:21

It wasn't, you know, what business did you build with this free time?

Shiloh Warner: 56:24

Yeah, right. What did you build with everything I gave you? Which car

Randy Warner: 56:28

did you drive?

Shiloh Warner: 56:29

So that feels so Western. It does. And it feels now, like, before I believed that, yeah, that is true. We're responsible, we're given this life and we're responsible to do something with it. And that I see now that's so like puritanical work ethic.

Shiloh Warner: 56:47

That's very Western mindset. People have that even if they're not religious of I need to build something with my life, rather than, oh my God, today I woke up early enough to see the sunrise, and my whole day was great because of that.

Randy Warner: 57:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 57:07

You know what I mean?

Randy Warner: 57:08

Of the things I like that I know that we do this occasionally is, you know, whatever's happening in our house and and it could be chaotic, it could be not chaotic, but, like, on on on the raid kind of, and this is after twenty years of living in this house is we'll we'll just catch a glimpse out the window with the sun setting and this beautiful purple whatever, and we'll just like stop what we're doing. We'll go outside and we'll look at the sunset. And it's just like, we've seen it a million million times. And it's just like, oh man, this is so fucking beautiful. And it just is like a it's a little reminder that like, I don't know, like, yeah, this is for us.

Randy Warner: 57:44

This is this is Yeah.

Shiloh Warner: 57:45

This is This is only this. It's this and that.

Randy Warner: 57:50

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Is that a good wrap up?

Randy Warner: 57:54

Do we have

Shiloh Warner: 57:55

I think so.

Randy Warner: 57:55

Is that yeah. So the first episode the second one's episode's gonna be hard at the top because we just gave you the meaning of life.

Shiloh Warner: 58:01

So I mean

Randy Warner: 58:02

But secret This out is just a one Japanese farmer story. Episode two of Japanese farmer.

Shiloh Warner: 58:09

Probably not.

Randy Warner: 58:11

Baby, thanks for I doing this with love you. For everyone listening, I also love you. And I'm I'm looking forward to doing more. Weird ending and scene. Thank you so much for listening to the YazCast.

Randy Warner: 58:26

I really, really appreciate it. You can find the YazCast online at yazcast.com, you can find information on past guests, information on becoming a guest, or you can reach out to contact me for whatever reason. If you're liking the show and you feel like you wanna lend some support, check out my Patreon at patreon.com/yazcast. I appreciate you so much. Love you.