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A lone warrior faces four descending angels in a desolate bunker. Will he hold the line, or will chaos tear him apart?
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: WH40K Black Crusade
System: WH40K Black Crusade
Creators and Guests
What is WarHams: A Chaos Odyssey?
Four Chaos Space Marines. One terrified Guardsman. A cursed ship hurtling across the galaxy. Join us for a Warhammer 40,000 actual-play TTRPG campaign using the Black Crusade system — hilarious, grimdark, and utterly unhinged. Which Chaos God will the Guardsman ultimately choose? Who will prevail in the end?
you know one thing i like about you beth i oh name it i'm honored the little lord
uh is on your foot this little gibbering mass is more terrifying than a greater demon
all right who's ready to play a chaos odyssey
oh
we have two wounds now quiver and fear a human american your red corsair you get three i gotta
change to a red corsair i gotta get another wound also like in our um it's like there's
mostly we're gonna kind of focus this more of a podcast thing but for the video side where we
have all our talking images i like how it's like here's two space marine or four space brains all
surrounding one guy because we're all just staring at him going like you're
friends man hulky's art is so perfect too because he's looking around so yeah i'm so
if we had lipos and beth i'll looking the other direction that would be very funny because then
he would be the campfire oh yeah we're staring at him oh i couldn't that's a good idea let me
see if i could flip us you know we'll just do it we'll just do it live yeah yeah do it live
hi everybody
doing everything just weird uh okay well that kind of works out oh oh that kind of works you
know that weird um it's i don't know what it's called it's a psychological effect when you like
flip an image when you draw it one way but then when you flip it it looks all wrong
for some reason yes like i'm hoping we don't have we don't suffer that super bad here
uh skelly would have already done that because she's an artist yes yeah she would have i don't
know i've talked to a lot of artists
and uh flipping flippings on canvas is controversial and scary okay okay your
idol like animation looks so disappointed in hulk's character like just get on with it
like finger tapping i'm just a person sir i'm sorry not anymore you're not but oh my god
this is the this is the campaign by the way it's just a tough show with hulky's characterist
in the middle getting fucking accosted by four but the subtitle imperial guy yeah the subtitle
for this uh campaign is custody battle yeah oh god but hi everybody uh sorry just to get us on
for the thing my bad arendelle go uh go basically welcome to uh a chaos odyssey i think this thing
we're gonna go with on this one because of the weird that thurston has planned for us
uh i think we mean it's basically we're gonna be warhams at chaos odyssey we're doing all of our
warhammer stuff label is warhams now and we're gonna be playing the super duper old tabletop
rpg from originally fancy flight games i think 7 now has the rights and they sell it and stuff now
if i double checked correctly uh which you can go get it at chemical7.com and get all the pdfs
for uh not for free but super cheap actually uh this is like what was it like 20 something
years old 22 20. no no no this game came out in 2011. okay so 15 years old okay don't don't say
like that because it makes me wither into dust i was there when this game was released
and i was not a youngster at that point so
so uh it's still an old system now by most standards now so with her with her die die die
and we're gonna be uh as much as we're all goofy hahas uh with the two test sessions that we've
done we found that this is
it's it's hilarious what the results don't happen we'll still crack jokes here and there but for our
role playing we're trying to keep it more serious this time uh we want to see we can do like a more
serious story and since we're all evil chaos guys it'll be more of an evil campaign but we've all
kind of did the nod of understandings like we're going to try not to be murder hobos the entire
time it's easier that that is of like oh i disagree with you snap's neck you know like it's
uh we want we want to do something different here we're going to see if we can i would like i would
test and i'll be the first person to contest this we may in fact be an evil party wow but we are no
more evil than the last warhammer party we had potentially different in terms of morality just
style yeah we wear a different kind we're just bigger i don't know anything about that
calrata is a pillar of uh
moral values yeah but it's gonna i'm excited i'm excited for us to go through and stuff
same because it's going to be a wacky wacky time so of course you want to have fun with
us and everything else uh we've done our best with the foundry module to hack it together for it
um so things are going to be wrong we're going to things are going to mess up we're going to go oh
but we're going to do our best so it kind of helps with all the chart looking
kind of make that a little bit easier for us and stuff but i'm super excited to play some black
crusade thurston introduction of our characters are going to come through you i think what
adventure they sure are do you have for us today all right welcome welcome one and all to chaos
odyssey and we're gonna we're gonna dive right in i'm gonna put oh oh no odo gets a pass um
um speaker and zoran i'm gonna need you both
roll me d10s to get us started here absolutely also made it easier by putting the dice rolling
thing on the bottom there for us uh i got a nine and i got a six the holy numbers of our respective
patrons oh yeah it's good it's good that's good um in this game lower is better so we begin
speaker you can read this quote ah in character uh this can be this can be general voice it's not
in character these are quotes you can do it in character if you want though as long as it comes
comes through well you know we can do these in character sure they will say in their ignorance
in the decades and centuries that follow that we ran from terror in disgrace that is a lie
we left
terror because there was nothing else worth fighting for horace had failed us at the
ultimate moment and the emperor was left a rotting corpse before the powers we dutifully served
what use was fighting for a dead world what remained was the survival of the primordial
truth excerpt from the twelfth testament of zol ananke on the thirteenth day of secundus the
covenant of terror began it's some months after that initial bombardment of the imperial palace
by the liberating forces of the war master horus lupacal come to save humanity from the tyranny
of an emperor who would declare himself god from a golden throne on the birth world of humanity
months well weeks at first that turned into months and those months stretched on when the emperor was
stretched on when at the apex of the battle time itself broke down just like everything else
on the cradle of humanity during that apocalyptic war events happened the fall of the lion's gate
spaceport the riding of the white scars to retake it follow the outer palace the outer walls
the eventual battle at the eternity gate itself where two angels one golden and one red
fought each other before the doors themselves closed sealing off the final fortress of the
emperor as we begin the siege has reached its climax past the battling of angels past the
breaking of the final wall and all that remains is the last bits of meat within
you
we start in the runes stained streets of what remains of humanity's birth world the skies
choked with ash and dust and radioactive materials that will make this planet
unusable for generations to come and as we start
we start with bethiel the brass hound standing amidst the wreckage and runes
that lead towards the final fortress,
towards the very entrance to the Sanctum Imperialis,
where the last defenders of the Emperor mount
what pitiful defense they can.
And in front of Bethael, in smoke that rises up all around,
obscuring everything, but one thing is visible,
a corpse on the ground, clad in ceramite,
a body that's face down, even the color of the armor,
pitched and dusted by the ochre clouds
that fill the sky and fill the ground and fill everything.
But it's not the corpse that Bethael needs to worry about.
It's the charging form of a space marine in Mark IV armor,
in the crimson red of the Blood Angels,
charging with a chainsword that has no teeth left to it,
rushing into combat.
All right, so here's what we're going to do, Bethael.
We're going to go right into combat.
My favorite part.
Let's hope this goes well,
otherwise this is going to be a short campaign.
I die in the prologue, I'm going to kill someone.
All right, if you'll roll me your initiative,
which is a d10 plus your agility, I believe.
Indeed, indeed.
I'll give you my d10 plus my agility bonus, which is a four.
Oh, wait, fuck, I need to actually click on my button.
You do.
You do.
Click on the button, use the button.
I'll let you even have this little reroll with the button.
It's the same roll.
It won't save you.
But it is Khorne's holy number.
It is Khorne's holy number.
We are getting holy numbers.
Well, well placed.
Remember to save that loud, it's meek time.
Bethael, from.
From.
from the Ochre Mist runs in this Space Marine,
this former brother in the crimson red armor
that mirrors as much of the armor that you now wear,
once a proud white and blue livery,
now stained with the blood of countless hundreds of foes.
Once the regal sons of Sanguinius,
this one has lost himself.
This one seems more like the legionaries you fight beside.
As he comes at you with a chainsword
that doesn't even rev properly,
a snarl, indistinguishable words,
as he charges into you, raising the weapon coming at you.
The weapon itself, again,
not really as effective as it should be,
but he raises it to make a charging attack at you,
rushing in.
I'm gonna see what happens.
You're struck.
You're struck. You're struck. You're struck.
You're struck in your right leg
as he advances towards you.
The damage of this weapon tearing at you,
it does 19 points of damage.
Ouch.
So with your, and there's only,
there's no points of penetration on this.
No penetration, okay.
So you will take,
if you compare that to your armor protection
and your toughness bonus,
and I apply it, for example,
it should give you, yeah,
you'll take three points of damage.
As this figure has come out of the sand and dust around you,
screaming incoherently and more bludgeoning your right leg
than trying to tear into it.
That is the son of Sanguinius' turn.
It is your go.
What do you do?
Right.
And I will ask you, Thurston,
given the timeframe right now,
am I still frenzied?
At this point, you've been left alone for some time.
This is the first time that you've kind of
come back into the fight after what seems like minutes,
when minutes seem like hours
in this constant hellhole of a battle.
Your frenzy comes and goes.
At this point, you've had a single moment of clarity.
If you wanted to, you would have had to go.
You would need to re-engage the frenzy.
Yes, spend the turn.
All right, then in that case,
Bethael is going to take the blow
and kind of just give a big snarl,
bare his teeth at this individual,
but he will remain lucid for the moment
as to savor this, dipping in and out of the frenzy.
And he is just going to respond with a wild uppercut
with the chain ax.
Let's do it to it.
Uh, will it out of target?
Do I need to, oh, here we go.
I can click on that square.
You can target the big guy, yep.
Yeah, I can target the square.
Go.
Mm, okay.
Hits with two degrees of success on his left leg.
So just kind of a sweeping blow in response.
And I will give you, um,
oh, a zealous hatred.
Yeah, so that will be plus seven critical damage
when you are applying.
Very nice.
Um, and I do have my, uh, flesh render.
So, uh, I will give you two additional die.
How do we determine this works with two D10s again?
Just two additional die?
Yeah, so which one, let's, let's,
let's read this out for everyone
so that we're all on the same page.
Uh, what, what does flesh render do?
The character has a taste for the massive damage
that can be inflicted with chain weapons
and other melee weapons that revert the flesh of his enemies
when inflicting damage with a melee weapon
that has the tearing quality.
The character rolls two additional die for damage
rather than the normal one for using a tearing weapon
and discards the lowest two damage dice results.
Yeah, um, so at this point you can just, yeah,
you can roll two and then we can, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then we'll just count whatever the higher.
Calculate it.
Up, up, upper options are there.
Gotcha.
Oh, well, that's easy.
Yeah, there's another 10.
All right, so that will actually increase it
because your initial roll was a one and a 10.
So that's going to do, well,
38 raw damage with four Ben.
Yeah, all right.
So with that, you are going to let us apply the damage here.
All right.
So, this, this does a, what the heck is going on there?
Um, I don't know why that was not working,
but applied, oh it's because have you targeted?
What the, I've, excuse me.
I have done a little booboo here.
You killed Bethel.
And I'll do it again.
I did this.
This, this.
It's because I'm used to the other ones
that.
Like the Pathfinder one we do, auto goes to the target.
So this one goes to what I have targeted.
So I've got to just get used to that.
So in your initial turn, I'm just going to scroll up and see.
You took three damage, so you should still be three.
I've got it.
I've got it.
You're good now.
And then what I'll do is I'll change my target.
Get rid of that.
Target this guy.
This should now, I think, if I click revert.
Yeah, okay.
So this should instead do a grand total of 30, which is going to, well, let's actually see.
Yeah, so it's going to do 28 plus, it's going to do 38 damage to this guy.
That is going to be subtracted by 16.
So you're going to do 22 points.
So that is actually going to do two critical damage to that left leg.
What remains of it?
Well, you know, it's not, it's not.
So actually we don't want to click the button here because the math is actually incorrect because it won't let me revert this fully.
So don't click that button because that will be incorrect.
Instead, what you do is you split open the target's kneecap.
Now he has to make an agility test or fall prone to critical damage.
So I will, and suffer from blood loss as well.
So I'm just going to roll this.
They are going to be at a minus 10 because they are quite frenzied.
I'm going to roll that.
The bloodier the better.
Oh, they are failed.
So they will go prone, which will cause them, they will now suffer from blood loss.
Your, your chain, your chain hammer, this immense weapon swings.
Now it again catches the kneecap of this Astartes, cracks into it.
And you, you hear, you hear the like the crunch of it as this space, as this blood angel falls to the, to, to, to his knees, essentially.
Somehow he's not like face down.
The blood loss though, you can see crimson leaking out.
So now normally what happens with blood loss is you suffer a,
you have a 10% chance of dying each round unless blood loss is tended to.
And Astartes does not have that.
So a space Marine of the Emperor's creation, in fact, only has a 5% chance to die each round when suffering blood loss.
So I'm just going to roll that.
Does not bleed out.
And in fact, gets up from, from his prone state rising.
There's, there's no like opportunity attacks or anything.
Like that, but that does prevent him from really focusing on you.
And instead he just swings the, the, the, the broken chain sword.
Again, there's no conversation, nothing.
There's just, just a, an unquenched rage as he raises up the weapon and tries to smash you with it.
And comes at you pretty, pretty tough.
So let's see what happens.
Here, in fact, you can tell that he has no care for defense in this matter.
He's all out of attacking you.
Which will fail.
Swinging wildly with this, this chain sword, bashing it against your pauldrons.
You just, again, this insensate screaming as the chain sword is coming down.
The other hand, the fist is punching.
Into your ceramide.
It's not doing anything, but there's clanging, like the tolling of bells off your armor as the fist is punching in.
It is your go, Bethael.
Right.
As this, this, this struggle is happening.
Bethael is going to again, bare his teeth.
His lips are starting to curl at this point.
The smell of blood rushing to his head.
And he just gives a feral smile.
As he leans in to this blood angel, I'm going to, uh, bring the hammer down.
Okay.
And I don't know why I tapped off of my correct page.
You were, you were, you were taken by the nails.
My nails!
Oh, your nails.
Well, I have.
You will flinch as a just throb of pain, I'm sure, from what has recently transpired.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, your hammer goes, goes into the ground.
The, the teeth on each end of the four sort of ends of this churning into the ground work here.
The fine marble inlay of the palace walkways torn up as your weapon smashes into the ground.
It's at this point that your, your opponent sort of takes, takes the briefest stock before raising up their, their, their broken chains sort again.
And this time.
They bring it down in response, trying to smash you, um, in the head.
Ooh.
See what happens.
Oh, they go wild again.
Just entirely missing.
Um...
Not, not enough at all.
Uh, but you have time to, to sort of bring your weapon around again, um, as a reminder,
you have opportunities on what you want to do for your, your different sort of, uh, cyber
powers.
Right.
Well, um...
sort of, like, attacks. You can do an all-out attack
if you don't want to, like, dodge or parry
in return.
Lots of opportunities here.
What would you like to do, though, as this
Blood Angel is continuing to
try to strike at you, but failing?
You're sort of moving around each
other in guarded maneuvers,
even though this Blood Angel seems to have
given out to his
rage. Alright.
Well, my weapon's unwieldy, so
I'm not doing any guarding anyway.
That's true. Blood for the Blood God, I'm
going to all-out attack this guy. Just let
out a
roar that tapers off
into something like a hyena laugh
and is going to just
swing with
all his might.
And, uh,
that's a 66.
That is
definitely going to hit.
So
please, uh,
yeah, roll
damage on the target, please.
And then I'll
manually do my
flesh rendy.
Yep.
So you will get
another 4. You'll get another
4 on top, so...
Oh, wait, it doesn't need a 9, never mind.
Yeah, so
you will get another 4,
5...
Yeah, you'll get another 9 on top of this,
so you'll hit for 34.
We'll apply the damage
here and see what happens. So you will do...
Uh, 13 damage,
um, which will
begin to, at this
point, tear into the target.
Um, I actually
need to adjust this
a little bit. Uh, this is going into...
Where was this?
Into the body, I believe you hit?
Was that right? Yes, you hit the body.
Yeah, more to the body.
So you go in with
this rending blow
to the body. Um,
kind of as he's...
sort of gone for your face, you hold
back, you take your
chain hammer, you send it flying.
Uh, the powerful blow
cleaves the target,
uh, from gullet to groin,
and his internal organs
spill out on the ground.
Um, except what happens
is the entire,
um,
like, area is now covered in a
spray of
blood. The nearby 4 meter
radius around this target,
just is covered
in crimson.
For a moment, the ochre sands here
give way, uh,
as blood flies
everywhere, and the blood angel
collapses, um,
what's left of the body, torn
up and ripped, uh, by your chain
hammer into four bisected
parts, slashed
everywhere, sent hurled by the
momentum of your attack, uh,
drenching the nearby terrain.
Um,
as the blood angel
falls.
Into whatever is the
largest piece of him, the
torso and head, I imagine,
going to kind of hook my
fingers underneath and just
heft the body
over my head and just let
it all rain down, just
dripping into my own armor, just
As, as you
do this, as you, as you, you exhilarate
in this moment,
um,
this is a proud moment
for you as you, uh,
have overcome a foe of,
of the, the false emperor.
Um, as you,
as you exhilarate in this, a figure
steps out from the smoke
and kind of comes
between you and the corpse of the blood
angel on the ground, the only corpse
that you see present here.
It's your brother,
Helbro Scorchteeth,
in somehow still almost
pristine,
white armor,
um, with red markings
of your new adherence
to the Crimson Path.
Your brother, breathing
heavily, comes out of
the ochre cloud.
A fine kill.
Every word
that comes from him is this, like, barely
restrained anger.
Going to heft the body down.
I'll force the rest of the fight.
I'll force the rest of the fight. I'll force the rest of the fight.
I'll force the rest of the fight.
I'll force the rest of the fight.
I'll force the rest of the fight.
I'll force the rest of the fight.
Deep, deep in the palace,
It awaits.
Deep, deep in the palace,
It awaits.
So much more killing.
So much more killing.
Bethisle's going to nod
very enthusiastically,
uh, kind of, almost instinctively,
following, falling asleep,
behind him and just we are we must go and and then at that like moment there is this like
absolutely sick sonic guitar riff that cuts through the like sound and cacophonous um din
of battle that surrounds the area the sort of discharging of bolters and las fire and shouts
and screams all are sort of put to to quiet by this almost comical uh sonic riff of audible
assault that comes from nearby
what are you doing beth isle oh me i thought we were going to speaker
beth isle's head is just going to snap around
like like a feral animal almost do i do i recognize this sound is generally not something
i need to rush toward with steel bared um i mean there's just a lot of a lot of ways that you could
you could interpret this i would say a good a good situation here uh let's do a skill test here
i'm sure you're good at those uh let's do a routine so plus 20 awareness test
let's sort of get your bearings awareness scroll down here there we go untrained in that
lol there we go believe
i i don't see or i'm still covered in blood i'm wiping it out of my eyes
beth isle is just going to whip around kind of throw a little spray as he does
by xanthi
will you give me an easy awareness test that's plus 30. you got it boss that would be my greatest
pleasure in life all right so it's an awareness test you said yep okay let me very quickly find
my awareness and this will be an easy one yeah oh that's a 16.
You find the figures through the cloud, you find standing one figure is Bethael, a member
of Angron's Legion, the World Eaters.
You can see the stained red blood, the iconic chain hammers utilized by some of their more
berserk kin, and the second figure you see is the corpse on the ground beside.
I was wondering when I'd get to see my other brothers from the Distant Legion.
I have to say, you're the ones I least wanted to behold, but I'll take what I can get.
How are we enjoying festivities, brothers?
You're loud.
I've yet to begin to scream.
Now, shall we make music together?
Will I have to?
To make a psalm out of your screams?
At that, he's going to kind of, you know, like a dog raising its hackles, just kind
of bare the teeth, these sharp and brass-plated, and just,
No, not today.
Another day, for certain.
He's going to spit just a glob of blood at Byzante's feet.
You're smarter than you look, you pernicious little pup.
You have the honor of addressing Byzante Misfit of the Emperor's children.
Who am I to take command of?
You are to take command of no one.
You speak to Bethael, the brass hound.
Well, as a musician, I find that my position makes me uniquely suited to directing brass.
I'm not a musician.
I'm a musician.
I'm a musician.
If you try it, then perhaps I will reconsider what I actually have said.
You amuse me, Bethael.
I'll let you live for now.
Please.
We'll have plenty of time to turn our weapons upon one another later.
For now, it is the will of our gods that we bring low this benighted emperor.
Can I count on your axe to make that happen?
Bethael is like, still alive.
Still alive.
Still hackeless raise.
Still haccles raised, but he just nods that Bethael, as this goes on, there's a ticking,
there's a ticking in your head.
This this impulse.
This talking is so he's so monotonous.
This tick, tick tick.
Your teeth are almost shattering there.
There's this this moment that you feel that the only release might be to strike this person
with your hammer.
You can control it, but you feel that, that clawing, that tick, tick, tick, tick from inside your cortex, your rewired brain.
Bethael is going to reach out and grab kind of the neck piece of Byzante's armor and pull him in close and just...
I tire of talking. There is blood to be spilled and we will find it.
No.
Three hounds emerge from the mist as you grip Byzante and Byzante is responding.
And as Byzante begins to speak from his disfigured face, three hounds, the shadows of them, first visible, emerge from the surrounding ochre dust cloud.
They begin to feast on the corpse of the Astartes.
Yes. We will do the same. There's feasting to be had.
I would have never taken you for an animal lover. And I'll push this coronet off of me.
Come, let your weapon and mine make sweet music together.
Or let us both be quickly parted.
No music. Only screaming.
That's a key.
I can play too.
As you turn together, as you turn to make your way towards the exposed flesh of the inner palace, I want you both to make me a terrifying fear check.
This will be a fear check at a minus 30 modifier.
So that will be a willpower test at minus 30.
That bodes well.
That bodes really well.
Yeah, that bodes great.
I'm feeling really good about this.
Minus 30.
Does a 93 pass?
No.
A one?
I ain't afraid.
I ain't afraid of Jack or shit.
So Byzante and Bethel turn.
They are preparing to continue on their way.
All right.
Hey.
Hey, how you doing?
It's nine degrees of failure.
That's pretty cool.
Do I get to have a cool moment here?
We're only 1D100 plus 90.
1D100 plus 90?
You got it, Woz.
That's going to be a 61 plus 91.
51.
That's the amount of Pokemon there are in the Kanta region.
Okay.
Yay.
I love that.
It's very good.
You are overcome immediately.
Both of you feel this.
Both of you immediately feel this.
Something in the cosmic order has changed.
Something tremendous has happened.
Byzante, you have rolled a 151 on the shock table,
which reads as follows.
The creature slumps helplessly to the ground,
where he can do nothing but weep, jibber,
and tear at his own flesh for the next 1D5 plus one rounds.
In this, you will continue to suffer a minus 20 penalty
on all checks until the end of the encounter.
As you quite literally begin to jibber and weep
at what has happened,
something has entirely changed.
Give me another willpower test.
You will need to make the second check.
You do not need to make this check.
However, that will be a failure.
This could be an excellent character development moment.
Okay.
Byzante, give me another 1D100.
I love tables.
I love this game, everybody.
1D100 is great.
Absolutely.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
it is.
It is.
It is.
All right.
62.
I'm gonna regret this so much.
So, you have-
You've failed this willpower again.
Again.
This is a cosmic unraveling.
However, it is shaking you
but it has changed your character to the core.
It has changed your character to the core.
You have now gained a disorder
from this formative moment in your existence.
I walk on Holy Terra,
one of the mental illness I was like I'm a cool chaos guy who seconds later tell
me about your mother Byzantium because I say T as the shock of the war master's
death rushes over for you and the unraveling of the immaterial world that
has overlaid itself on holy terror takes its its its toll on your psyche you I'm
gonna regret this this is like the worst fucking will you could have got not for
you but for me because you know I'm gonna read this you've acquired you've
acquired the secretive disorder boy let me read this to you even among the
fellowship who values
secretive disorder
secrets this character's obsessive need to hold secrets is remarkable well this makes
them generally trustworthy when it comes to protecting information it also makes them
nearly worthless in roles where communication and exchange of information are necessary such
as you know compact or even delivering simple messages
yes
oh my social
power this this will be fine this will be fine characters with this disorder have a plus five
bonus on any willpower test made to resist giving information to interrogation of torturers but must
make a difficult minus 10 willpower test to answer even the most simplest questions or pass on the
most mundane information in regular conversations
oh my god
social social life I can't it's like the emperor's children no look we we had an agreement when this
campaign started that the dice land where the dice oh I'm I'm plugged in I'm plugged in so Beth
IL at this moment you see you feel it's like you feel something like
something intrinsically different has happened in the cosmos and as speaker your character is uh let
me let me just reread this for you know effect uh slumped helplessly on the ground weeping
gibbering and tearing at your own flesh um the hounds that are by the corpse by you Beth IL as
you as you turn look at them they begin to discorporate before you they're their forms like it
it's hard to describe but it looks as though some invisible hand has grabbed their skin and pulled
it back but as it's pulling them they're fade like being pulled out of existence uh you see
the strains as they try to reach for more of the flesh in front of them and then they disappear
oh
on your feet up
sanity returns to you now
yeah I rolled minimum
the master is gone
the war master has fallen no no no no there's still more blood to be shed this is not over
it is it is the grandest stage of all time and we are finished on it
with me
quiet we are you shout quiet as you shout quiet and then continue on you hear the sounds of of
bolter fire and Laz discharges and screams have like suddenly abated as though everyone present
on the throne world has taken a moment to stop your scream is the first to echo before
the sounds pick up again
um and you hear the sounds of bolters these sounds are very much
like on the day you landed on the throne world the unified defiant lines
of the palace Defenders staccato bolt bolt shells hurled out shouts and Defiants being leveled against
Doubts and defiance being leveled against you from within.
Where once the shouting and victorious chanting was coming from the force pressing down,
now you hear it coming from the direction you were heading towards.
What?
It's war, husband!
It's war!
Come to our senses!
What were you talking about?
We have lost our chance at true and absolute victory.
This war is not going to end this eve, or tomorrow, or the day after that.
And I...
Well, I can't help but find that old...
rather sad, can't, don't you?
Bethael is going to blink a couple of times, not quite understanding.
I'm assuming still feels that ticking, and he's going to kind of ball up one of his...
The ticking is stopped.
Oh.
And as you sort of feel, like, you feel the anger and the rage, but you don't have that cerebral tick, that push.
Something, it's like some weight has lifted.
And as you're comprehending this, there's, like, a crackle in your vox, as, you know, you hear, like, over static, the voice of Helbrose.
Brother, there's a ship.
What happened?
We have, we have to go.
We have to go.
Karn has taken the Conqueror.
They're going.
There's a fire raptor.
We can reach.
Reach it.
I'm sending you the coordinates.
You have to go now.
The golden, the golden ones are leaving the palace.
We have to pull back, or there will be nothing left.
Then we will shed blood another day.
We get up.
Come, you.
Leave?
Leave?
No, we can't.
We can't leave.
There's so much undone.
We...
We may have lost, but we must still...
No.
There is more to do elsewhere.
Blood to be shed elsewhere.
And if we die here, then I suppose we will have no way to shed it.
You may get on your feet.
Wait a second.
Or you may die here at the gate.
Bethell!
Bethell!
Most of the Emperor's children broke ranks.
And discipline.
And left to maraud among the civilian populations.
Do you know what this means?
This means that if I move quickly...
I can be the first one to regroup and control proceedings afterwards.
Fine!
Let the stage be cleared!
We go!
Lead me forth to our escape!
Come!
Fine!
I don't know what that means!
Well, I imagine as a Cornate you don't know many things.
So I'll let you glimmer about in suspense as you lead me to my chariot.
Another word.
And I tear that grill off your face.
And see what meat remains beneath it.
Save the threats for safety!
Now we have common guards!
Let us move!
Fine!
Hey, uh...
Is Zoran...
I'm snoring.
Oh, he's snoring.
You gonna give me a willpower test at minus 30?
Sure can!
Hmm...
Oh, no!
I don't like that roll.
That's a 92, but my target was 42.
Six degrees of failure.
Oh, yeah.
That's good, right?
Zoran...
That's good!
Zoran, you wanna roll me a...
A D100 plus 60?
Yes, Zoran!
Oh...
Oh...
It's your roll.
That's great.
Roll a D100 plus 60?
Yep.
Six-zero.
The Emperor's greatest weapon.
The mental illness beam.
That's 119, Thrustano.
Okay.
So, Bethael Byzantine.
As you are...
You are continuing through.
First of all, the ochre mist of this battle zone begins to lift, almost symbolically with what has happened.
Behind you, silhouetted starkly, are the walls of the Inner Sanctum, almost teasing you with their presence.
And the sweet, sweet meat of the Imperial aristocracy and best warriors that lay within, now denied to you.
As you continue to make your way away...
You find another figure.
Um...
This one is...
Garbed in...
Um...
And it won't match the artwork right now.
But, um...
Is garbed in metallic red armor.
Um...
With a sheen.
Uh...
Arcane sigils daub their...
Their armor.
Uh...
They have a helmet.
That they wear.
It is a member...
Of Magnus' thousand sons.
Uh...
Zoran.
Um...
You can also, uh...
Give me a challenging plus zero willpower test.
Okay, sure, Ben.
We're gonna see if you develop a complex.
Ooh, please do.
Oh, no.
Hey, Zoran!
74, but my target's 72!
No!
No!
It really feels like we're playing Traveler.
Right now.
You really would.
You really would.
We would be fucked up.
Horus is dead!
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, what would Horus dying be on the fear scale?
And I'm like, oh, the top of the fear scale.
Obviously.
Look.
Um...
If you followed a lesser god and he died and you felt the psychic aura of it, you'd develop
a little mental illness, too.
Yeah.
True.
I also like that this is gonna force roleplay on some of you, which is super fun.
Zoran, roll me a d100.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
We're going to find out what disorder your character gets.
Our god is 78.
Ah, fucking Christ.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to read this one.
Secret of Two!
No.
My god.
Each of them are different based on the gods.
Oh, good!
That makes sense, because keeper of secrets.
Dark magics.
Oh!
The character is convinced that he is a powerful sorcerer.
Well, this is in fact...
Occasionaly...
With youtube.
the case more likely the character has few or no powers at all he's obsessed with all things arcane
he collects ancient and blasphemous tones whether he understands them or not icons and anything else
related to sorcery or psychic powers the character suffers a minus five interact to all interaction
tests when dealing with normal individual individuals due to his boorish nature and
need to let everyone know that he is a powerful sorcerer when in the presence of actual psychers
this penalty increases to minus 10 due to actual sorcerers losing patience
you need to get in on this dude
welcome back lauren welcome back from the dead
if there's one thing the first few minutes of this session has taught me is that chaos guys are real
and they have a real good set of humor
uh-huh holy shit oh that's so good
just so just so i can note it down
one more time
it's
called dark magics it's located on page 278 of the black crusade rulebook
uh speaker yours is secretive on page 279.
all right i just want to make sure i have that on my notes
ah oh my fucking god he just got more passionate about his hobby and more annoying
um zorin um your character on the on the the initial
failed for your test um so you fainted and remained unconscious uh for about a minute
and you are regaining consciousness um they're still a bit shaken as these two figures uh bethel
and byzante approach um as as you as you kind of wake up byzanti bethel you see this this red
armored figure by the way if you're wondering why it's red armored it's because during the
During the Horus Heresy up to the Siege of Terra,
the Thousand Suns had metallic red armor
instead of the blue armor they have in the modern day.
But yeah, you see these two brothers as you wake up.
More than anyone by Zayn, you know,
or sorry, more than anyone, I should say,
Lifas, you know what has happened.
Like intrinsically, you know that the War Master's bid has failed,
that he is slain, and now the powers of the Immaterium are receding.
In fact, you can tell at this exact moment,
you are cut off from your wellspring of psychic abilities.
But you also are the greatest sorcerer who ever lived,
as we have now discovered.
Zoran, Zoran, can I help lead you into this new delusion?
Yeah, go for it, give me a prompt.
You there, son of Magnus!
You failed!
What's happened, yes?
Or are you a false sorcerer?
Jesus Christ.
I fucking love this system.
Yeah, the tables are great, you know.
As he's looking at his fucking hands,
Lifas, you know, just in disbelief
that all the efforts that they have gone through,
all the suffering that him,
his brothers have gone through,
at the hands of this horrible royalist,
following that shitting corpse emperor.
He looks at her and she's like,
but I am the one, I am the one.
And he looks over, and he hears this whiny, screechy metal voice
coming from the side.
He goes, of course, of course, I have failed it.
Aye, the Magnificent!
And Lifos, bringer of the Geist,
the world's slayer of dogs,
have been able to feel it, obviously.
For I am one of the highest ranking sorcerers of Prosperous.
Ah, most excellent, fair wizard.
We, therefore, must be getting the hell out of here, yes?
I do agree.
What form of transportation have you found?
I most enthralled.
He begins to walk towards you guys.
Like, he gets a little air of confidence with him.
His chest is out a little bit.
Letting his cape flow.
He has his poor staff with him.
He's looking as majestic as possible of, like, yes.
The cape is flowing.
Yes, like, even if it's not flowing,
he has the edge of his staff at the bottom,
like, pushing it a little bit.
Just making sure it leaps.
He's like...
Zoran?
Yes?
Can I, can I set a hero point?
No.
Hero point?
I, I, I...
We're not heroes, bro.
I, I like to think,
I like to think that Lifeboats,
in seconds earlier,
was the most, like,
oh, I'm not sure if this is really the right thing.
I don't know if really we should be doing a Chaos Guides.
And then this happened,
and we are now dealing with Lifeboats forever after
that moment two seconds ago.
Where that character,
ceased to be,
and now we have this one.
Yeah.
Bethael is going,
you know that face that dogs make
whenever they smell something really bad?
Like, when you hold up a piece of broccoli to them,
and they're like...
Yeah, wizard.
Bethael is making that face
as he is looking between the Slaaneshi and the wizard.
Two of his least favorite things.
And he's just...
Sigh.
I have been sent coordinates.
Ah, we are getting the hell out of here.
Excellent.
Well, let us make haste then.
I would love to tag along to make sure our glorious conquest
can continue far into the future.
Allow me to help us on our way.
And he begins to bring his staff up as if to kind of go side to side with you.
And as he tries to call upon his, his warp powers,
he notices it doesn't show.
He's like,
he's like,
I will,
I'll foresee any dangers in our path.
Forward.
Lean over to Byzantium.
Was something supposed to happen?
I don't know.
These wizards, they're all the same to me.
Word.
And we're gonna keep...
We're gonna keep moving toward the coordinates
my good brother sent me.
Yeah.
So, so you continue to make your way away from the palace.
Again, the walls of the Inner Sanctum become smaller and smaller
the further away you depart.
You can see now that the sky is awash with craft.
Um, you could see that there are mass bulk haulers transitioning into the atmosphere.
Uh, not since the start of the siege was the sky this packed.
In fact, most of the dust clouds are being pushed away.
By the sheer number of aircraft that are coming in and out of orbit.
Uh, as you see, um, a panoply of colors ascending from Imperial militia,
um, servants of the Dark Empire of Horus and his various dark compliances
now pulling off of the surface of Terra.
The landers of the true Mechanicum, uh, quickly,
uh,
and expediently and efficiently removing the few remaining Titan assets.
All of this visible as you trek.
Eventually, you come across a, a single Legion aircraft.
It's notable because of its midnight blue appearance.
The streaking tracers of lightning across its hull.
It sits.
In what appears to be a canyon made artificially by
collapsed HAB units of the interior of,
of the palace zone as you get closer,
you can see that the rear hatch of this vessel is open.
The lumens inside beckoning within.
Betheal, you see Helbrose,
the stark white figure standing on the,
the,
the exit ramp of the vessel,
arms crossed as though waiting for you.
I'm here, brother.
Where, where does the battle take us next?
As you kind of mutter this,
you're still a bit away.
Helbrus turns and begins to just ascend
up into the fire raptor.
Brother.
Hey.
Just kind of rushing after.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you see, like, you sort of rush,
shouting, brother, by Zantian life.
Oh, so you continue to sort of follow up
after the fact.
As, as Bethael runs into the vessel
and you see this,
suddenly the skyline changes.
And it's not just a, a shift in what's going on.
It's the sound of munitions fire in the atmosphere
as what can only be described as a tide
of cobalt blue begins to descend.
All these fucking guys.
And you see.
You see vessels of, hundreds of vessels
in that same cobalt blue
and the pompous U-shaped symbol
that adorns all of their hulls.
Ah.
Are you sure?
What do you do as you see this?
Are you sure we cannot stay to bring them all low?
If we could, we would.
Ah.
Now is the time for discretion
to be the better.
You're part of Valor.
Fine, fine, fine.
I don't expect you to thank me for keeping you alive,
but I am keeping you alive.
You're right.
I won't thank you.
I know I'm right.
The first vessel explodes.
It's a macro troop carrier hit by several missiles
from Xiphon interceptors fired from the Ultramarines Legion.
You see a,
a transport that once carried tens of thousands of soldiers
crash back down to the surface
in a nuclear explosion that lights up everything.
Hmm, that's good, right?
We must have sinned.
No!
Luna, as you push forward,
a figure emerges from the back of the vessel,
a robed figure in black and gold,
uh,
a priest of the true
mechanicum, necadendrites
that also have
like globules
of flesh reaching up
them, kind of
click in the air around you
greetings
I grab it by the neck
you
you
hold on
you are not with me
any of you
trained in piloting
I was hoping you'd be
as I begin to lift him up and kind of
stare at him, like
do you know how to operate this aircraft
I do, I am
priest Etelfar
Scourge, and I
can remove us from this
place if you would so
kindly place me down
remove the poor
mechanicum from your death grip
he
he is as true a servant of the dark gods as us
and he will serve us well
or die
you never know in the field of battle who goes to who
he kind of plays, he kind of like just tosses him over
to the pilot's seat and goes
you move on
you go to these opponents
and he begins to
strap in or so
ha
ha ha
few vessels in the sphere
we will need to find
a vessel capable of carrying us if we are to flee
hmm
what
is the pride of the emperor still in orbit
I
cannot
I cannot see
the conqueror has departed
the vengeful spirit is departing
the pride of the emperor is not visible
the terminus est and the endurance are not visible
there
there are so many signals from the thirteenth
so many
overload overload overload overload
no guts
it does not matter what ship we end up on as long as the fight continues
find one
compliance compliance compliance
the eighth legion will not be returning for this vessel
it is only logical for us to escape now
please strap yourselves in I shall do what I can
it is a legion vessel I am not
I can I can fly this
yes of course safety first I promise I am not going to die
yes of course safety first I promise I am not going to die
safety first i put on my seat belt yeah i put on my strap obviously i click it before i get a ticket
you know who's gonna get it i don't because i'm a bad boy and i don't play
hey hey hey by xanthi
hey my xanthi yeah so beloved game master i love that you called me beloved game master that's so
cool um i will allow you to give me a easy acrobatics or athletics check oh good god
it's plus 30. i'm being very generous here all right plus 30. i got a 90. okay that's a two
oh i'm so bad at resisting the revelation of war master wars
i'm so good at sitting in a car without my seatbelt off no you're not
you're not with a two you know what you do as as this as this fire raptor takes off it hasn't
closed the back hatch you walk to the back hatch and you watch and like watch the scene of total
carnage and reversal playing before you like a tabletop war game as you ascend further
seeing the the cobalt blue figures descend down
to the surface seeing all of the players on what you know will be the greatest stage in history
uh go through their final act as the fire raptor continues to ascend damn there's like 30 000
warhammers down there 10 000 more on the way yes coming from the sky
300 brain blades from korova
well i've i have a good i have a good news for everybody oh god we are gonna go ten thousand
warhammers away from now oh hulky's character has to be born as we skip ahead hey hulky crow
hi thurston how you doing oh you know i'm just i'm just happy to be here
another day in this god emperor's army i'm gonna read what's on the screen for our uh audio
listeners we love you audio listeners of course of course do not ask how you may give your life
for the emperor ask instead how you may give your death attributed to warmaster slido circa
millennium 41. there's a hand in front of you evgeny inside the bunker
you
and your fellow troops huddled together there is a hand that clenched into a fist
and that hand clutches that hand clutches onto several straws the hand is shaking
you and your unit have been positioned the far end of this world the woman who holds the straws
is trooper lena drask she keeps a bottle of amasek under her bed it's not regulation
but she keeps it there you're so far out nobody really knows you know no one really cares some
people have debated telling the lieutenant about it but the lieutenant is dead now in fact all of
the commanding officers are dead now it's just you and the five others in this bunker there used to
be 20 of you in this bunker first five went out then ten more trying to stop what's coming they
didn't stop what's coming they didn't stop what's coming they didn't stop what's coming they didn't
the others surrounding you the six total with the five others there's torv keldrick he's a really
bad cards player even quill he's somewhat made fun of for the fact that even with a scope
he's yet to hit anything with his last gun silas vaughn doesn't have any grenades on him anymore
we all know why and brom tarik rom tarik smells the worst out of everyone in this bunker i think
you think at least everyone wants brom tarik to be the one at least one of the three to draw a short
straw okay you hear drask say again her hands still shaking we all know some of us have to go out
some of us have to go back out into that so we'll do it we'll draw straws there's no one to order us
so we're gonna do we're gonna do straws isn't that right evgeny yeah yeah it's uh it's only fair okay
okay um evgeny i have a question for you of course of course have you done anything to alter
the straw drawing is that something you've considered to ensure that your name is well
you you are not stuck with one of the short straws no evgeny is a man of honor he would never do such
a thing like that of course that would make him dishonorable in the eyes of his peers and of course
the emperor
why would he ever do that that's not what a soldier does okay okay okay will you
he knows what's out there he's just hoping that his faith will save him
from drawing that short straw okay will you give me an awareness plus 20 check please
absolutely i i realized f10 hides the overlay which i've never encountered before
in fact
that's a so that's a remnant of a mod so i don't know why you have anything on f10
that's my discord mute button what the i never use f10 otherwise
hey hey guys we're breaking this scene now let's all turn this is the point where everyone's
chair turns to hulky as as our characters are doing and we're like f10 really bruh
really yeah yeah i kind of up i'm sorry all the buttons it's pretty up can all of can all of the
space marine characters talk so you can be looking at his character judging him yeah
what's wrong with you
all over again
under two all right first and what was the test uh the difficulty of the test again
plus 20. plus 20 absolutely yep and so that would be a routine i got a 28 with a target of 50.
that's five degrees even even quill has tried to cheat you've seen him you saw that as alina was
was shaking her hands he um took a he managed to to reach under and pinch off a bottom part
of the straw that was still emerging from her hand and quickly pocketed it evgeny looks over at eman
now soldier yeah i don't think you can honestly put that past the emperor could you
and certainly not past me elena's hand continues to shake brom the smelly one goes
what are you talking about the human did something he's a bit big he's a bit slow
well brom as we all know if we have faith in the god emperor he will protect us
and fate determine who is brave enough to go out there and defend his works but it seems that it's
some among us are lacking in faith i'm very faithful yes yes problem you are and he sees
that and he knows but eman appears your faith is wavered and evgeny will draw his best quality
las pistol and brandish it okay i think the emperor everyone kind of gas like even even
alina's hands come back a bit at that the emperor will divine who
among us will go out there to serve today but you even will be among them
not going out there
whatever what ever came down from the sky no no don't kill us all we have to stay in here it's
it's safe in here we do none of us have to go out we can all just stay in here
hmm that's we can't all stay in here there's not enough food someone has to go out there and see
what's going on no maybe it wasn't going to be you
but it is now yeah that's what you tried no i know i didn't no no no no no no no
happened no no no no i'm not you can't you can't make me get
out yeah you can't make me get back down you saw ab the sergeant lieutenant
they're all gone they're all good they said they're waiting
they said to wait here they'll be back they'll be back maybe we could all stay
here and be friends, Braum says.
I just know I don't have any grenades.
Can't throw my grenades without grenades.
I don't know what I can do.
Silas is, like, twitching. Torv Keldrick is silent.
I would be a dishonest man if I told you I did not share your fear.
I know what's out there. You know, you all know what's out there.
Yeah. No one's coming.
No one's coming to help us, but someone has to do something.
Better to die knowing that one of us might live, I suppose.
You. No, I won't let you!
And you see, as you say that, Eamon is trying to draw a knife.
Evgeny will see this.
He'll wheel up with his last pistol drawn and attempt to shoot him.
Okay. So for this, here's what I'm going to do.
I'm just going to actually
put a fake token down here.
I wasn't expecting it to play it this way, but this is fine.
I like this.
You can target the token I've just put at the bottom of the fake token there.
And give me give me a last pistol shot.
It's going to be at, like, point blank range.
Absolutely. Let me take that shot.
That is a success with three degrees of success.
Perfect.
Ooh, minimal damage.
Three.
Yes.
So you manage to hit him, like, slightly in the shoulder as he's, well, actually the left shoulder as he comes.
And you can tell that his armor, his fine Imperial armor, has deflected much of that.
He definitely takes the opportunity.
And in return.
The retort is getting ready to stab you.
I am going to have us roll initiative for both combatants.
The others seem to be backing off from this.
I will roll my agility.
Please roll yours, Evgeny.
I will roll it.
See, see everyone listening.
What I want to do is show what it's like when space marines fight.
And then when it's like when infants fight, because that's what this is going to be.
It's like watching children battle each other.
Ooh, it's like a slap fight.
No. Baby fights.
Remember to use the initiative roll in the encounter thing.
Hulky.
Gotcha.
Should just be the dice by your character.
Yeah, perfect.
Oh, yeah.
So you actually before you get close, you can fire again.
Instead of firing because Evgeny is close enough.
Uh huh.
He's going to take the opportunity to draw his chainsword and attack him.
Yeah, absolutely.
And.
Well, I'm not going to aim it.
Let's try this.
Whoo.
That is a 20 on the die.
To the head.
All right.
Total of 13 damage.
Pen six.
You do ten points of damage tearing into the head.
You can tell that you've basically started like there's this blood gush that's coming down.
Somehow he is still up.
You are just shy of critical damage taking away all of this guy's stamina as as even.
Tries desperately in response to stab at you.
I don't know why it auto killed him.
It shouldn't have auto killed.
He attempts to stab at you with the knife.
You see him lashing out as your chainsword is grazed his head.
He will successfully hit you this time, sort of raising the knife and sticking it into your into your left leg.
Evgeny.
Everyone again is just backed off and like you hear like gasps and whatnot.
Can I attempt to evade?
You can actually.
Yes.
Let's find out.
Am I fast?
You are not.
The hit connects.
But it only does one point of damage to you as it kind of grazes you.
You can tell it's not a very strong or penetrating weapon.
He's put a lot of force behind it.
It is your go again.
Now.
You could have just gone outside him and you could have just taken one for the team.
Couldn't you go in there?
No, go in there.
The monsters out there.
There's monsters in here to women and I'm one of them.
You either die out here.
You die in there.
Brom starts crying.
How can we all be French?
I just want to be friends.
Alina is like still a battlefield prom.
We're just meat waiting to be processed.
You and I and Amen and everybody else out here are waiting to die.
Oh, that's a big old fail tonight.
That's a one big old fail.
You like in your in your speech.
Huggy.
You just go wild with the chainsaw.
Like.
Slashing out and you see that that even is is just like similarly losing it.
He raises up.
You can see that he is taking the blade.
He's all out attacking just slashing with no care for defense at this point at you in response.
He will manage to strike you succeeding to hit you with his knife.
You can attempt to evade this.
I'm certainly going to attempt to evade.
Shall we roll better this time?
Oh, yes.
Yeah, you you step back as he's slashing repeatedly.
No damage taken at all.
Leaving him very open.
He won't be able to evade or Perry or do anything to your next attack.
Again.
Brom is intensely crying.
You see tour of Keldrick has sort of like quietly got up and started to move towards the bunker entrance.
Alina's hand is free hand is now trying to move underneath her nearby caught to pull out the Amasek.
We could have all been fine.
Even we could have been okay.
We might have lasted a little bit longer.
You wouldn't have forced your brother to kill you.
Your cowardice will stay your feet.
I'm going to attack him.
That's going to hit.
Oh, no, that's not that's not going to hit.
It's not going to hit.
Yeah, like this is this is again.
This is what happens when children fight even even retorts again.
Sort of swinging shouting intently.
I'm okay out there.
We're all going to be happy in here and he starts knifing you brutally again.
All out attacking as well.
Oh, that is going to hit you in the body.
You can you cannot evade because you all know.
So he is.
Stabbing you in the chest.
Oh for for almost minimum damage applying that you take no damage from this.
It bounces off your flak armors.
He hits you with the knife.
You hear me now getting.
Do you hear me?
Emperor?
Why would you do this?
Why would you do this to us?
Brom?
Continue.
He used to sob Torv is starting to like fidget with the door mechanism opening it.
Silas is gone over to a box nearby and Alina's drinking the amasek.
If you're going to make one more all-out attack and that's going to see with a 23 with five.
Yeah, success.
Absolutely.
You're going to go right to the chest for seven damage with pen 10.
That's right.
Okay.
So you are you are doing critical damage as you tear through.
You slice a muscle in him.
So he's going to take a minus 20 on any strength test as you tear through some of the meat in his chest.
Blood is now flying out everywhere.
Get Brom is Brom is like slumping to his knees.
Large smelly.
Man is just completely distraught over what he is seeing here as your weapon has gone in.
This is actually what is this a rending weapon?
It is a running weapon.
Yeah, let's see here.
So oh actually never mind.
No, no, no.
So this bonus final damage for critical damage for so actually this table is bidding correct,
but we'll use the correct one.
It's just double checking the blow.
Actually opens a wound in his torso as that happens.
You can see that he's now suffering from blood loss and is stunned.
So you're going to get an extra action before he goes as you torn open his chest.
He's stunned before you do go.
I have to make a test.
Remember blood loss means he has a 10% chance of just dying immediately.
She does not so he's still standing but you get to take another action to finish him off.
Should you wish if you can hit him?
He can't evade or anything.
That's true.
He can't evade is he and he's still committed to this.
He's not backing down.
Oh, no, no with a wound like this.
He's more just in shock at this point, but you understand that it's probably given the blood loss
and you don't have a Medicaid because your Medicaid was in the last group to go out.
There's no way to fix this.
There is no way to fix it.
Unfortunately, but I think they both knew once he was called out.
There was only one way this could end.
And Evgeny will take an aim shot at his head.
Okay with his last pistol and try and deliver the Emperor's mercy.
I'll give you a plus 20 bonus to this as well.
Just because he's he's very out of it shocked.
He's kind of now submitted a bit.
See it's gonna it's gonna do it 31 with five degrees of success and one hit.
Okay, so please roll damage.
So I'm going to apply this damage here.
Give me one sec.
I'm giving you a second.
Let's do this.
Okay, so interesting.
Why does this attack not did you hit with you hit with your last pistol?
Yeah, not that as yeah.
Yes.
Okay, so you were you were hitting with past the pistol.
Yeah, so that is going to go to the head one sec.
This is going to be energy to the head.
I'm actually going to bypass the armor.
So this is going to go up a little bit here.
Let me check because you're basically just going to head tap.
Yeah bit so so you put your last pistol up against the head.
We're going to use these famous crit tables in this game, which are amazing.
Yeah, the target's head is destroyed in a convocation of fiery death.
He does not survive.
He falls down.
Braum is now just just just a blob a blabbering mess.
Alina is drinking heavily from the Amasek.
She's dropped the straws Torv.
Keldrick is now in the process of closing the door having just gone outside on his own and Silas Vorn is still going through everyone's like junk box in the room like tearing through everyone's personal effects.
Why do I why and you've got any I'll just look down at his hands trembling the fire searing some of his flesh but still spattered and gore.
Why didn't you save us?
No fall to his knees.
Brahmin.
It's just Alina like sloshing back.
The Amasek Silas is like where is it?
Where is it?
There's got to be one.
There's got to be one in one of these cases.
We just need one grenade.
That's all we need.
Why would you set?
Why would you let us serve?
What if you was holy autos?
You were supposed to be heroes.
We were supposed to take care of these people.
I was supposed to take care of all things.
Why would you let him leave us here?
You've got any any you've got any promise promise like got like snot and everything just coming down his face is like again.
The odor is just overpowered only by the iron of the blood that is pulling on the floor from the chest wound.
You did prior to the execution shot that sort of iron and now that like cooked flesh smell in the air overpowering the body.
The odor but this large man if getting he looks at you pleadingly.
Does the Emperor not love us anymore?
No, not us.
Not us from but it's so what do we do?
He still loves you buddy.
Love me.
Of course, you always loved you.
He'll always loved you from here.
Look at this picture.
You remember you remember unit don't you?
You remember them?
Yeah, before that thing came out of the sky before before it all with bad remember the pilgrims.
Remember the pilgrim.
We were so good.
The pilgrims.
They well from here to the city.
Yes, it was good times.
Good times.
Look over there sitting sitting the cool.
I can't find the grenade.
There's no grenades in any of these boxes.
We use them all up.
We use them up.
There's got to be one in here.
We need it.
We need it.
We need it.
It'll get you a look over to Brahma.
Just think think about those happier times.
The Emperor still surely loves you buddy.
It's okay.
Just think about that.
Don't think about any of that out there.
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
Of course.
You're likely you're looking over at Brahm and like you hear the thud of the amasek bottle.
In fact, it's glass.
It's a glass container.
So you're actually a shatter as it hits the ground some of the shards trickling.
Off over the floor and some of the liquid even splashing up mingling with the blood
that's pooling and that's what catches your eye because what you see as you look over
to the broken amasek bottle is the blood pooling out from Eamon's corpse is actually
recoiling back into it.
Hey hulky.
Yes, Thurston.
Would you like to give me would you like to give me a willpower test at?
20?
Oh illness for everybody.
So sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
My yeah, minus 20.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the one.
Yeah.
Oh, actually the best part is is that hulky can't get a proper disorder lol.
Yeah, he is the Emperor's favorite.
I am because there's only disorders for like the specific followers.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah difficulty minus 20.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
All right, I'll do that.
Oh, never mind.
I choose on the table.
Never mind.
Excellent.
Don't worry.
Oh six degrees of failure.
Hey hulky.
My brother.
Would you like to roll me a d100 plus 60?
Yeah, of course.
This is by the way, by the way, I would like to point out that you had six degrees of failure,
which was like similar to Zoran's and Zoran suffered the death of the War Master and you
just seeing some blood pool back in way to go, bruh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's see if this would also make your character lame.
He is experiencing the horror of being an everyday Imperial.
He's experiencing the joy of getting to break free of the yoke of carry on Thurston.
Okay, give me a regular willpower.
Just like challenging.
So plus nothing will power test.
Sure.
Oh, that's what my.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Okay.
That's a 94.
Yeah.
For me to 40.
Oh, so so God, you're going to get a disorder from this too.
We're all going to be traumatized.
So, so hulky.
First of all, on the shock check from what you've seen, you immediately faint.
Like you see this blood recoiling.
You turn.
You can't process it.
The everything has got to collide.
Like you.
You just have that moment where your body seizes up and like the cameras following your
face and it goes sort of like angles with you as you fall onto the ground and it's still
like looking at your your wide-eyed face and you hear like ringing and sound.
I'm going to we're going to come back to this.
We're going to we're going to we're going to figure out something after this.
So you are.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
remains of the body of Guardsman Eamon Quill.
It is this mewling, pitiful, minor wretch of a creature
that is like an amalgamation of flesh
and like sickly purpled flesh
and like small mouths and tentacles.
It's maybe the size of a dog, like a small dog.
And it has emerged.
And the others in the room
have had very similar reactions to everything.
As you come to and you see this new threat,
I'm going to ask you to make me one more check.
Another willpower check.
Because, you know,
now this is nowhere near.
In fact, I'm going to let you give me a willpower test at plus 10.
This is just disturbing.
Like the blood sucking back into the corpse
is actually not as disturbing as this mewling, pitiful creature.
But this mewling, pitiful creature is still otherworldly.
Please give me that willpower test.
Sure.
Here I was thinking you were going to give me a hellish test.
Don't tempt me.
But who gives a fuck?
Because it's an 80-9.
I love this game so much.
This game is my favorite.
Will you roll me a D100?
Do you want to announce your roll, Hulky?
Oh, yeah.
89.
Am I disconnected?
Target was 50.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yes, my target was 50.
Yeah, it's supposed to be for podcast listeners
because if you say 89,
we don't know what you're aiming for.
So it's like 89, I needed to 50.
Apologies.
So you have 40 degrees or four degrees of failure.
So roll me a D100 plus 40, buddy.
Of course.
This is fun.
It's fun.
It's fun.
That's not bad.
It's only 70.
Okay.
You are frozen in terror,
which let's see here.
So you will have to snap out of it.
So essentially,
you have to make a challenging willpower test
to snap out of this on your turn.
So you're just like at the beginning of each of your turns,
you're going to have to snap out of it
with that test, okay?
Gotcha.
Which is really good
because so you're on your side,
you've regained consciousness,
you've looked over,
you've seen this mewling creature
and this mewling creature
begins to like kind of like slump,
like, I don't know, advance,
but like with this suction-y slurping
and you hear this gasping sound
as it's trying to make words.
And it moves towards Silas,
whose back is turned to it.
He has not seen any of the blood or anything else.
Braum is like, just like stopped even crying
and is just rocking back and forth.
And you can see that Drask is standing there
just like motionless, but upright.
This thing goes behind.
It goes behind.
It goes behind your fellow Silas.
And I'm just gonna do a little thing here.
And its mouth opens to unleash a stream
of coruscating fire.
It smashes into Silas's back.
This like coruscating flame
striking him in his left leg.
It's so small, it's hard for it to even get up.
And it...
It hits Silas in the left leg.
And you, you again are sort of like just watching this
from your catatonic state.
And you see that as this creature belches out its flames
onto the left leg of your companion,
your fellow member here who was doing their best
to find that grenade.
You see that their armor and flesh are fused together
and they fall to the ground screaming
as this horrific burn damage occurs.
I am going to put you into the map here again, Evgeny.
And I'm going to very quickly, just for purposes of this,
I'm going to have you and this creature square off
against each other.
If you'll once again roll me initiative, please.
Sure.
Sure.
Ooh.
That's a 10 on the die.
Okay.
So technically this thing would have gone.
So it's already gone.
So you can now go.
You can make me a willpower test to try to break out
of this shock that you're in.
Yeah.
My target's 40.
So let's see if you roll below a 40.
Nope.
That's a 51 at two degrees of failure.
You are still like transfixed on the floor.
And by the way, I just want to point out,
I love the cinematic nature of this,
that you are just like paralyzed with fear
as this thing is slowly chomping on someone.
You see now that Silas has fallen to the floor,
this thing is like slurped closer to it.
And again, it's just the size of a small dog,
but now that it's hit him in the leg appropriately,
it gets close and raises up a claw,
like this horrific talon that seems to come out
of its grave fully.
It's gray flesh fusing into a crab like appendage
that tries to stab directly at him
and is just going to go right into him
and we'll see what happens.
It fails.
Luckily it fails.
Silas is able like while screaming sort of backs out,
but this thing is like slurping further towards Evgeny.
You get to go.
Evgeny is just on the floor still,
just like jaw agate quivering.
Just all he can manage is little soft,
like moans of fear.
Like, I'm going to try another willpower test.
Can we roll?
Fuck me.
You're still trapped.
You're still transfixed watching this.
He can't do anything.
He is just gone.
He's witnessed the death of Sanity
and the abandonment of his God.
Braum collapses onto the ground.
His heart gives out.
He dies.
Oh my God.
He rolled a hundred on a toughness test.
He was so overcome with fear in the moment
that rather than fall catatonic,
he just died.
Fuck.
Holy shit.
This game rocks, dude.
I fucking love Black Crusade.
I know.
Elkina Drask, on the other hand,
has like entered panic,
entered panic mode.
She runs to the door
and she is now trying to open the door.
Evgeny, you are,
you are seeing this.
The creature seems still focused on Silas,
who's like screaming.
He's trying to like fidget for his weaponry.
He can't do it.
This is the first time he's seeing this thing.
He has to make a willpower test.
He completely fails
with nine degrees of failure.
Oh my God.
Hello?
This little gibbering mass
is just the sheer presence of this
is more terrifying than a greater demon.
He falls unconscious
for the next four combat rounds.
Oh my God.
And you are forced to watch
as this, this little creature
once again raises back its claw.
And goes to penetrate.
Given he's unconscious,
he's going to make a called shot.
But he's going to get up off.
This is fucking
Puffing Bomb versus Hydrogen Baby.
That same thumbnail,
but the overlay of a second thumbnail
that says it's time to correct the record.
He is going to roll a six
for five degrees of success
as this crab like appendage
pierces through Silas's head.
All the damage.
It's not great damage.
It's not great damage.
That is not the case.
That should actually be two damage.
I'll do that.
But you could see that he is like
started to pierce through the skull a bit.
It's your go.
You can you can make another willpower test for me.
Absolutely.
As I'm watching my friend get a chaos lobotomy.
Uh huh.
Let's see if we succeed.
Oh no.
You're still watching.
Alina drafts.
Alina drafts is like struggling.
She can only take half actions to escape.
She's managing to open the door,
much like Torv did to get out before.
The tiny whelpling creature tries again
this time with another stab.
It's given up going for the head
and instead is just like all out stabbing.
It's failing to hit in its frustration.
You hear this whimpering
as like you hear the thunking
as it's trying to hit this unconscious target.
You can give me another willpower test, Halky.
Yay!
You managed to regain.
You managed to regain your composure.
Um, you could act normally now.
Remember you are on the floor.
You've dropped all of your equipment.
He's going to scrabble
barely across the floor to his last gun.
Uh huh.
He's going to try and get it.
Okay.
He's going to set it to overcharge
and he's going to try and shoot the little chaos spot.
You could target the little creature.
Yeah.
Let me just.
Let's target the big creature
right there.
Yeah.
I don't think that's very little.
I'm going to shoot it.
I'm in short range.
You're just going to try and hit him, period.
Yeah.
Oh, well.
Oh, the shot goes.
That's 84.
Two degrees of failure.
You're so close.
You try.
You try.
But like in your fear,
the shot just goes completely wide.
Look at.
Sniff.
Sniff.
Sniff.
Sniff.
It seems to not quite notice the the blast you have unleashed,
but it does.
It does decide that it needs to do something about the situation.
So as you have as you have now fired into it,
it sees the blast, I should say.
And it does kind of take a bit of a moment to recognize it.
And then what it does is it like continue to face Silas.
Um, it once again opens his mouth and blurts out a volley of just horrific, um, warp energies into it.
You can see the, um, the, like the, the coruscating colors as it blasts out this flame onto it or onto him.
Ooh.
Um, this doesn't include the other bonus it should have, which it will hit with.
So I will just adjust this, but it's going to hit.
Uh, I will roll damage.
One sec here.
Actually, I'm just, you know what?
I'm just going to reroll this cause it should have a higher thing in here.
It's like my bad.
Okay.
Of course I roll enough to be worse.
Okay.
I'll just say a miss cause the thing is being annoying.
Okay.
Um, is it's like flaming onto it.
Um, Evgeny, uh, you see this.
What are you doing?
Uh, at this point, Drask has now opened the door.
Uh, Evgeny is still going to try and shoot this creature from his pitiful position on the ground.
We're trying again.
We're going to, we're going to fucking try again.
Would you like to aim?
I would love to aim this time now that I'm no longer paralyzed with fear for five turns.
Totally.
I'm going to half action aim and use the other half.
Well, power is important, you know?
Well, yeah, I'm going to shoot it.
Oh, we're going to try.
There, there we go.
You're going to hit it.
A 34 for six degrees of success.
We're a weird little body.
Yep.
And that should confer because it's overcharged an additional two dice, if I'm not mistaken.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
We're going to roll the first one at pen two, eight damage penning.
I'm going to roll two more D tens.
Yeah.
That's going to be a two and a five plus three.
So that's going to be a ten and sorry, I can't do math.
That's going to be an eight and a five, penning two.
Okay.
So we'll add eight to what you get here.
We'll ply it onto this little creature.
One sec.
We got a gripping onto his lasgun as if his life depends on it's the only thing he has, which in this moment ostensibly.
Watching you see a crab crack somebody open back flicker in and out of existence, it like hisses in this sibilant voice, must feed, must grow so weak now and it tries desperately, desperately to strike at Silas once more with the warp flames that it possesses, attempting just a, you know, just a little bit more.
I'm going to go ahead and do that.
I'm going to go ahead and do that.
I'm going to go ahead and do that.
I'm going to go ahead and do that.
I'm going to go ahead and do that.
I'm going to go ahead and do that.
I'm going to go ahead and do that.
Just a flat out shot at point blank belching more flames.
Oh, hitting, but barely.
And scorching.
Oh, not not a lot, but, you know, we might do something.
No, it doesn't.
It does pierce, but only slightly.
You can see Silas's chest plate is cooking, and this thing is trying.
It's breathing.
What are you doing, Evgeny?
Alina has run off now, left the door open.
Of course.
Well, Evgeny is the only one who can do anything about this at this point.
He's going to try and shoot a third time.
Yeah.
Same thing is going to aim as well at half action, overcharging.
Stop!
Stop!
For 24, for 7 degrees of success.
It won't go only up to a maximum of additional 3.
We'll try and do it again.
No roll damage.
Another 2 going at that.
So it'll be the same as before.
8 damage, pinning 2.
Going to roll another 2.
That's going to be a 5 and a 4.
Can you explain what the other 2 are for, for our listeners?
So with Laz weaponry, they have variable modes of firing,
which typically have different drawbacks.
You can either fire.
For additional penetration and ammo cost,
or you could overcharge at risk of making the weapon unreliable,
but potentially for every 2 degrees of success,
gain an additional damage dice on a hit, only if it hits.
However, because this gun is best quality, it never really loses reliable.
So I can overcharge at no penalty.
Yeah.
With the exception of I'm spending ammo.
Yeah.
It'll still consume more ammo, but it's never going to be at a,
a real risk to me.
Sweet.
Okay.
So we'll add 5 to this.
Let's, let's see what happens to it.
Okay.
So it is going to take, um, 2 critical damage.
It's actually going to go up to 7 because of the 5 extra from that 2d 10.
Uh, so let me check.
As you hit it in the body, it's sort of like gibbering mass body here.
Hit in the, in the body for a 7.
Uh,
the intense heat cooks the target's organs and it's stunned and suffers
permanent toughness damage.
However, this thing is immune to being stunned.
So it's just going to take some toughness penalty, which could matter.
Um, as you, as you strike it and it takes it, you could tell that
it is like barely corporeal.
Now it's phasing in and out and you just hear this mass, um, but in its,
in its moment, it once again,
it turns and, um, opens it's it's vast maw, uh, and tries to belch more
flames onto the body in front of it.
At this moment, you can also see that Silas seems to be stirring.
Oh, but with one, that's going to be a great success.
So he's gonna, he's gonna hit support Silas with this, with this like
chorus skating.
Multicolored flame.
Ooh.
Um, so Silas is going to take to the head.
Um, you watch as the attack cooks Silas's face, melting his features and
his eyes, you see that like his face is literally melting before you.
He's screaming in his death throes now awoken from whatever thing it
incapacitated him only to this, um, with Silas.
Silas is clearly in his last throes.
This, this mewling creature seems to regain some animacy and turns towards
you, Evgeny, but one of its eyes grows massive and bulbous and you just,
you just see almost shock in its appearance as it points.
One of its claws, it's your go Evgeny.
What do you do?
Evgeny is going to watch his squads.
Mates face melt and die in extreme agony forever.
Uh-huh.
He's going to keep shooting, but he's not going to do so quietly.
Throne, please.
Why?
Why won't you die?
Make it fucking stop.
Try it again.
Ooh, a 14 with eight degrees of success.
Oh, that's going to hit.
Hot fucking dog.
We keep going more ammo.
Okay.
Let's go.
Okay.
All right.
So this, this blast smashes into its body.
Uh, it is encased in fire as your, as your last, you can see all of the eyes on it pop,
like the multiple eyes, even the teeth sort of chatter out of it, like eggs as it falls
to the ground.
However, the blast causes it to have whatever warp impact is in it to put it into the body.
Potentially detonate, does not detonate, um, instead it just kind of like it's one little arm, like claw arm reaching out to you as its eyes pop, like eggs grasping.
No, not like that.
And it compresses into unexistence.
Evgeny, you are now alone with two corpses in the room.
Three, actually, because of the original, what are you doing?
Hmm.
Thurston.
Yep.
I say this not out of a comedy goblin alpha views a bit, but can I make a willpower test to continue going on?
Yeah, just like kind of, oh, so actually a funny story.
Now we're going to come back to the thing I would say that would happen.
So, so no, you don't have to, but don't worry.
Something bad is going to happen.
I'm going to pull into, I'm going to pull in the peanut.
Yeah, actually.
You know what?
Erndil, Erndil, my, my, my fellow GM, uh, I need your opinion on this.
So when assigning a disorder, um, if, if the character is unaligned and Hulki is currently unaligned, um, the GM gets to pick one of the chaos gods that the scene of the disorder most represents.
Do you have any chaos deities that you think fit this scene pretty well?
You mean this utter and replete madness going bond back and forth between failed shots and just violence?
Yeah.
I would say that's a pretty Zeechian thing.
Cool.
Excellent.
Hey, hey, uh, Hulki.
Yeah.
Let me do 100.
Sure thing, Thurston.
Oh, I hope you get the one I want you to get.
51.
I don't like that one.
It's not really appropriate in this.
I'm going to have you re-roll.
No, no, it's just not appropriate.
It's just.
Try again.
No, no, no, it's, it just, it literally wouldn't make sense here.
14.
Oh, fuck.
Okay.
Erndil, you did this.
Um.
Oh, no.
From this, Evgeny, you're going to gain the following disorder.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
Obsessive.
aban'thh...
In the order.
Obsessive cleanliness.
Yeah, that's the one I wanted him to get!
Oh my god!
You are terrified of filth, rotten, disease.
You go to great lengths to keep yourself, your possessions, and surrounding items clean.
Will avoid dirty things.
Uh, if you are confronted with such individuals, or situations, you must make a willpower test.
If you fail, you are overwhelmed by disgust.
Well.
No, it's okay.
I don't want to engage with them anyway, fucking whatever.
whatever i'll just find something else to talk to i'm gonna i'm gonna ask no to re-roll it no
that's the best no no he's right he's right he's right he's right i can't even talk with one of
our party members that's what the fucking no no it's fine it's it's no he's right he's right he's
right no no he's right i didn't realize it wasn't like i thought it was objects i didn't realize
people as well that that is that is not going to be working for a party we'll do it again
fuck it yeah do it again do it again the gark dodds do not will this fine you know what it
was the first one we're gonna go back to it you are now obsessed with zeach's sacred number nine
whenever you can you will arrange items or groups and stacks of nine or a multiple of nine you will
always count to nine that's that's why i didn't like that one it wasn't super thematic to watch
what happened but i'm gonna give it to you anyways well what was the other one you know
you could count to nine that was that was the one he rolled it twice he rolled it twice oh
no you know what fuck it fuck it just pick one no no no no roll me a d100 again i'm going to
i'm gonna override the zeach table re-roll you know if you think about it this is really
in character because here we have small little baby man wearing a tuna can comparative to
the other man's
members of the party the dark gods decide his fate he doesn't
that's true how hard is each his plan get him 60 67
yay make all right we're switching it up we're no we're switching it up we're switching
you're abstemious the puritanical character now follows code of strict abstinence you reject
worldly pleasures especially pleasures of the flesh
for the austere life of a warrior's need you consider yourself a purist in combat and
military matters um and when you yeah and when dealing with those who do not share your
single-minded focus you suffer an interaction penalty which i will bring up and you will
obviously remind me of um that's the same thing but for everyone else now no it's the
same thing but only for me yeah yeah i'm like yeah the darn old ebuff guy they got this little
nasty buff no yeah yeah
No, hold on, hold on.
Cause it's an interaction penalty.
So it means I can't convince Byzantium,
but Byzantium can convince me.
No, no, no, no.
And to be clear, and to be clear, and to be clear,
the one that, the one that affected Urndale was bullshit
because you would have to make a test.
Otherwise you just wouldn't interact with them,
which isn't fun.
This one is, if you made a test to say influence Byzantium,
you would fail.
But remember, generally we're not using tests
on other players like influence.
So, like, so, so that actually fits a lot better.
I need to make a fucking,
I need to make the willpower check
that we decided was too bullshit to interact with Nurgle.
If I want to share information with someone.
Correct, correct.
And that was decided it was too hardcore
to give to one of our players.
Yeah, but you accepted it.
You said you loved it.
You said you loved it.
That's because I'm,
I'm a nice guy.
Yeah, well, nice guys finish last.
Man, this fucking system really loves to tell players
how to play their characters.
I'm not a love life or something.
It's so funny.
I'm losing faith in it.
You should, you should have just dealt with being the dirt boy.
You should have dealt with not having to interact with a character ever.
Ever.
Can we re-roll it another time?
We could have just said that he could have gotten the penalty.
But we haven't.
We haven't.
We haven't gotten to nine re-rolls yet.
You're literally telling him we should just make it
so that he and Erndil don't interact.
Fine.
No.
Fine.
You know what?
Fine.
I'm picking, I'm picking, I'm picking.
Just pick one.
Fine.
Dead inside.
Dead inside.
I'm picking dead inside.
Dead inside.
Dead inside.
Dead inside.
You've seen things on the battlefield,
unspeakable things that have seared your soul.
You're brooding quiet and withdrawn most of the time.
It's terrifying.
Fixedly into space and speak in monotone voices often times.
Your presence is unnerving.
You suffer a minus ten penalty on all interaction tests.
Oof.
All right.
Yeah.
And you don't like dirty things.
And you love the number nine.
And.
All of them.
Yeah, all of them.
Fuck you.
All of them.
No, I can't interact with any members of the party.
I want every single mental illness that makes me unable to,
to function.
And you can't take Tylenol.
And I'm a Sigma who does not believe in sex.
True.
Evgeny, the door to the bunker is open and there are three corpses in here.
What are you doing now that you've, uh, kind of become dead inside as well?
Evgeny is going to, well, all emotions going to drain from his face as an unnatural calm besets him.
Not calm, but more.
Disaffectedness.
Nothing matters anymore.
All of his squad mates are dead.
There are horrors beyond his comprehension that can spawn out of thin air.
And he watched a crab crack somebody else open, not even a crab, but close enough.
Evgeny is going to take all possessions that could keep him alive off his squad mates and shove all of them outside of the bunker.
No, he is going to strip the bodies because.
Throne knows he might need their armor and he's going to pile them at the door and he's just going to sit and he's going to just sit for a very long time.
All right.
And waiting at the door, Evgeny stares out into the distance.
We go back in time a little bit.
Sometime before, uh, Erndell, will you please read the quote?
Do you want me to read it as this person?
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I mean, your choice, your choice.
I can if you'd like.
Absolutely.
There, feel the glory of necrosis and rejoice.
Glergal loves you.
Of Ol' Kerr, the Great Unclean One.
From Dawn of War 2.
That's right.
Welcome to the tutorial.
He was there.
In this tutorial.
He'll teach you how to make a skirmish game.
Me teach you how to make a skirmish game?
That's not what they say.
I fucked up.
I'm stupid.
Yeah, you're going to hell.
Idiot, idiot, idiot, giant, idiot, giant, idiot.
Put down your headstone.
Cephas Wormspine, you are alone on the space hulk.
Tyrant immortal.
You've been cut off from your fellow squad mates.
You are traipsing through Cyclopean and tight knit halls of shit.
Tight knit halls of starships that have amalgamated together over millennia of travel through both the immaterium and real space.
You aren't disturbed by what's happened.
It's all inevitable, after all.
Your squad mates still maintain vox communications with you.
All of you scattered during the initial attempt to board the vessel.
Brother Photorus, Brother Grimace, Brother Hyrule Drask.
All of them now chirps in the vox with occasional updates.
Grimace.
I have found a cathedral.
It is big here.
I am alone.
Photorus.
I've found my way into an ancient chamber.
I think I am being followed.
And Brother Hyrule Drask, whose only sound is the constant staccato of bolt fire.
You are alone, too, walking down the halls here.
Lumens, red most often, sometimes a bit of a yellow, a color that brings some emotion, the sickly light.
But you follow one thing.
A tiny little creature.
A green ball of squishy flesh and comical horns that defecates on the floor as it hops and jumps.
And this little lord leads you through the halls of the hulk.
It's Brother Grimace who speaks up and contacts you directly.
Have you found anything, Cephas?
Have you found the way out?
Have I so far, Thurston?
No, you are trying to find any way of maneuvering through here.
I guess one question would be, do you have any skills related to either navigation or survival?
Uh, I...
Do not have...
I have survival.
Okay.
And I...
But I do have navigate surface.
Though that would be surface.
You know what, I will...
I will allow that here.
Because these are very, very large vessels that honestly more represent cities than they do actual starships.
That would make the most sense.
Yeah, give me a...
Give me a just challenging navigation check.
All right, you got it.
Let's see what I get.
Target is 41.
Yeah.
With a 63, that is no, with three degrees of failure.
You are lost within this vessel.
The only thing you have to sort of follow is the little lord that flatulates and chuckles as it hops and skips down the halls, seemingly having some path it's following.
No, Brother Grimace, we have not found anything as of yet.
You must be patient.
Remember that everything is inevitable.
I know, but I can hear them.
They're getting closer.
Then face the inevitability with a bright smile.
If it's coming, you know to be prepared for it.
And the bolter fire continues, coming from Hyrule Jurassic.
Suddenly there is a breach in that sound as you hear the crackling voice come through.
Yes!
Yes, yes!
Yes!
Yes!
There's so many of them!
It is glory!
It is a gift, a bounty!
A bounty of floral blooms of bursting flesh!
But they are plants, they are plants!
So it is fine!
Well, I'll mark that on the tally, then.
Yeah, I must, um, I think if I can go lo-
Oh no!
There are more!
there are many of them my brothers i do not think i will survive this phosphorus
boxes in i do not think i will make it out i will go gladly into this fate
it is inevitable and like there's a refrain from the others inevitable
even even hero just inevitable it was inevitable and you hear this like sound it's like a whistling
like a followed by an immense explosive sound and then brother photoress's signal on your vox
goes flatlined and you see no communications or any kind of status updates from him
ah into the embrace he goes brothers continue your work into the embrace he goes
there are not many of us
left on here it is a shame we could not take it we did not know it was already inhabited
such mistakes are the folly of everyone we simply deal with the hand we are dealt carry
on and make no fuss ah yes i am out of hammer for the boat now i should use the sacred knife
stab in stab out stab in stab out and you just like
hear this refrain um and and as you're as you're you're hearing this you see the little lord at the
end of a long narrow hall standing on one leg kind of doing almost a 45 degree angle with its hands
in the air it does like a big raspberry like as it also continues to defecate in front of you
the lord leads me onward i shall be upon something soon i believe do try to stay alive until then
brothers
oh as you wish yes ah stab in stab out stab in stab out uh give me an awareness at plus 40 please
okay i will give that a go plus 40 you said yep triple
85 one above where that so it's one degree of failure
you are you are so you are so concentrated on what you are doing you are following me on the
right path you are following this little lord to the to the effective like detriment of taking in
anything else it's um you you pass through like a a walkway that's elevated above a room
something might be going on in the room but you don't pay it any attention uh instead you carry
on into what appears to be a an array of um maintenance ducts uh the the your bulk takes up
entirety of this hall the little lord continues to lead on ah to where does he lead us to where
does he leave us brothers it is taking me on a detour i shall give updates as best i can
communication may be difficult in these ducts plate goes in plate goes out plate goes in plate
goes yes brother it's fine it's oh i think they may be upon me it's time i shall look forward to
seeing you in the garden go then go then and do not tear and you hear this
like immense what's followed by this
and what sounds almost like a bursting sound of ripe fruit some explosive sound
like punctuated with with flesh and raw like material um and then brother grammis
pierce from your feet leaving only here drask disappointing but not unexpected
the little lord is still there drask
knife goes in knife goes out knife goes in knife goes out yes do keep that up yes of course
the little lord has reached a maintenance door it's trying to turn the like it's it's clutched
on to it's one of those sort of um like wheel
open so you turn the wheel and it's trying so hard but its own weight isn't enough like it's
it's like leaning on it like like literally jumped up and trying to put all of its weight
this thing refuses to budge uh cephas will trump forward you know fair not like put like horribly
slowly but he is very like he's not rushed for time on anything he's taking things very slowly
and he will go up to the presuming that this is a nerdling correct yeah yeah he will he will
put his hand beneath the nurgling not even remotely bothered by any horrendous awful
secretions that this thing may be dribbling onto his hand merely by its foul little presence and
he will pat it on the head before gripping the the bulkhead wheel with one other hand and preparing
to turn it as you as you pat it on the head it burps at you come the little one allow me and
and you you open the door with no issue however as you do you see in the chamber that's beyond
which is some kind of light and you're able to see it's there and you can see it's there and you
of possibly training or sparring
room, a hexagonal chamber
that's off-kilter from the doorway that leads
into it again, an amalgamation of ship
parts blasted together.
There
is a host
of greenskins within.
They all look up
their checker-patterned
shoulder pads and head plates
with beady red eyes on their
greenskin with weapons
raised, and you hear
almost, like,
just like an
annoyance, a
Whoa, boys!
Ah, an annoyance
embars my path.
And he will slide his hand into
his grenade launcher
once more and raise it up,
preparing to clear the way. Excellent.
I'm gonna put us into combat here.
I'll get you to go to the encounter table
and roll initiative for me against this
mob of lads.
Alright.
Alright, we'll roll.
Roll a six.
Alright, you will get to go
first, Cephas. So they've turned,
they've seen you, they are
shouting,
but you have
them by surprise here.
I will open up very simply.
I will do a half-action
aim, and I will launch
a grenade at them. How far away
are they, roughly?
They're extremely
close. I'd say they're probably,
well, probably about within ten.
Ten meters. So that would
be short range for me.
Not point-blank, thank god
for that. That would be very awkward
considering I have a grenade launcher.
Yeah.
And I am doing a
half-action aim, so that's plus ten.
Mm-hmm.
And it is a standard attack as well.
So that's also plus ten.
So we're looking at plus
twenty for the modifier, and then
plus ten for short range, right?
Yeah.
Boop.
Uh, seventy-eight, gotta roll
a scatter. Okay.
So roll a scatter, and then based
on where it goes, basically, in this case
a one is bad for you.
Alright, let me roll the scatter
button. Come on, roll scatter.
Yeah, there you go. There we go.
So southeast, it goes, now
roll, oh, and you roll, it
does do the distance here, so
it moves one meter.
So,
so it only moves one meter, so it's still gonna hit them.
Yeah, it's still, it's still definitely
gonna hit this, uh, this mob of
lads as it does so.
So this is a horde. So when you fire
a blast weapon into a horde,
um, you effectively
hit them a number
of times equal to your blast. What's the blast
rating on the grenades? Six.
So you will hit, you will
effectively hit them six times with
this. There are twenty
lads here. Um,
so you may roll
damage, please. All right.
Get out of my way, greenskins.
You're interfering.
And the damage will be fairly high at a
seventeen. Oh, yeah. Uh,
six of them melt. And, and at
the same point as that happens, I believe
I also have to do a, a
toxic trait. So I'm gonna roll that as
well. I don't think you have to if they're dead,
do you? Uh, I'm going to
count it as the entire mob kind
of gets a bit, so I'm gonna give it to you as a little bit
extra just for this.
Fair enough. Um, and because
there's three degrees of failure, I'm
gonna say that actually three more
start, like, gasping
as, as, like, your, your single grenade
begins to chew through them. They're
close. And you see them, like,
melting into slurry
as hands go out. There are only
eleven of them left.
Like, grenades whistling through the air,
like a screaming head of nonsense.
Yeah. Um, they
are,
however, going to, uh,
to come at you really quickly.
Just give me one moment here.
By all means.
And, yeah, you can tell that they
are rushing,
um, towards you, uh,
with, with, again, a big, whoa!
Uh, as you see choppers coming
up and those choppers
raise up high and they
are attacking you. So in melee,
um, they,
they get some bonuses against
you. So, um,
when they are attacking
you in melee, they
will get some bonuses
to their attacks based on the
magnitude of the horde. So
there's, you know, it's not, it's not
a, a massive mob anymore.
So they aren't going to get a ton
of bonuses. But we will
see if they can
do this. They're going to get
only plus a D10 to their damage
if they hit you. So
we will see if they do that.
They are coming at you. So, again,
sort of as you're standing in the doorway, the little
lord cowering behind your, your
feet, like,
they... Going to ambidextrous, I'm just,
ambidextrous and being constantly
braced from that, uh, that ability
I have. I don't remember which one it is. I believe
it's bulging biceps.
I don't remember which one. Yeah, bulging biceps
is the one. Which means I can have both my
power sword and my grenade launcher ready, even
though they hit me easily with a five.
Yeah. They are going
to smash into you. Um,
they will get an extra D10
on this, so we'll see if this matters.
It's very lucky they hit me in the body,
because that's the one area I've got more armor on.
Yeah. Oh god, double ones!
Their attacks bounce
off of you as they've charged
into you. A pitiful
attack. And you hear behind you the little lord
.
.
So that is your best attempt. Allow me to show
you what Nurgle has in store for you.
And I will swing my power
sword at them. Go my sword of power.
Absolutely. Uh, this is a standard attack.
Uh, any modifiers beyond that?
No, so instead,
uh, it's going to,
um, just, just be a standard
attack against them. Yep. Can I,
I cannot aim
a melee swing cannon. No, no, you just,
no, you just get the standard attack. Yeah. Time
to swing. I'm still targeting
them. Yes, I am. Good.
Swing.
Uh, forty-two
will hit with two
degrees of success. Okay. Okay, you will,
you will hit, um, and you
will instantly just
gib one of them. Alright.
Um, there are nine left.
Uh, at this point, they are
behind their normal threshold, so
they have to make a willpower test.
Uh, and we will see
if they succeed it.
They do not succeed it. They break
and run. First of all, you can take
an opportunity attack, a reactive
attack on them, as they, like, turn
and you, like, just start running towards
the door in the opposite end of the training
room that you're sort of standing in the other doorway
of. Come back! Let me,
let me usher you into Nurgle's
embrace. Come back! And I will
swing my power sword again with a reactive strike.
Yep. Go!
Uh, thirty-five. That will be
three degrees of success. Still one hit. Yeah.
So you, you slash another
one down as they run away, sort of like
falls, it's back landing
in, like, it's back torn open
as it lands. The, the remaining
eight are now pounding on the
opposing door, like, trying to
open it, not thinking to move the
wheel. It's your go again, Cephas.
He's going to fire yet
another blight grenade at them. Absolutely.
I need to clear them out. I gotta
get moving. Yeah. I'm going
to, this is not point blank yet, I'm
not going to do that. Uh,
I'm gonna half-action aim again, so that'll be
plus twenty for standard
attack, et cetera. Let's try that
again. Launcher
high, eighty-six.
It's gonna miss, uh,
but roll the scatter, because it could just still
still tank them. We always gotta try.
Uh, it rolls one
meter east, so it will hit
them again. So, I think, I think, cause I'm
not seeing it, I think you, I think
it's not accounting for the 1d5.
It shouldn't, actually, it won't
matter here, cause, like, it's blast six,
so it's always gonna hit them, but
that's just something we should check for.
Next time. Um, alright, so,
um, you're
going to get six of them. Roll damage.
You got it.
Another
stinky grenade. Oh, that was a lot of damage.
Oh my god. That's nineteen.
This is more damage than I did during the test session.
Oh yeah, like, and again, like,
more of them just start, like,
like, grasping and
clawing at their, at their
face, and like,
Can you roll, um, yeah,
I'm gonna roll the toughness test.
Let's see if this
matters.
Oh god.
Degrees of failure, huh?
Well, yeah, cause they're, they're, they're not
target, yeah, cause they have a
25, where they have a 45
toughness, but minus 20 cause if you're toxic,
and they rolled an 89, um,
so they all,
like, just dissolve into, like,
puddles of green
mush and rusted and corroded
equipment, and you hear from, like,
behind your feet, like,
as the little lord comes
scampering from between your feet,
like, it, just
not caring, moving between the, the,
the, like, orcs that are dissolving in the room,
and the little lord hops onto
the, the wheel on the, on the other,
stab in,
stab out, stab,
it didn't
work, oh,
and then
your last companions,
uh, as brother
Earl Drask's name
blinks out.
This hulk
was a mistake,
but,
yes, yes, yes,
yes, I'm on my way.
And he will tromp over to
the freshly corroded, but,
you know, covered in muck
and rot door, and
will just crank the wheel down.
Yeah, the Nurgling
hops off and begins urinating on the
huddle of orc.
Piece of, what a fucker.
Uh, um, as you
open the door, Zoran,
Odo, and
Speaker, can you give me an
agility test, please?
I would love to. Well, actually,
just like, just actually, wait, wait, wait, 1d10,
uh, 1d10 plus your agility,
uh, modifier, so
whatever the first number is in your agility, with
plus 1d10.
Let's do that.
Oh, uh, I'll give you a 14.
I'll give you a 12.
Okay.
Leifas?
Hey, can I give you a moment?
I math wrong. You got so many
windows, I know, I know, I know, I know.
I have to do the tech
or else it all falls apart!
He has to do his taxes.
His taxes!
Okay. I got a 6 for total 10.
All right.
As you open the door,
Cephas,
you are encountered by a
massive figure in
coronate armor, wielding
an immense two-handed
chain hammer,
which is the most ridiculous weapon.
Um,
and they stare down at you.
Ha!
Who? Oh.
This is curious. You are not
a greenskin. No,
there were many beyond that door, but they
are in Nurgle's garden now.
Who are you? Who are
you?
He will, like, lean to the side,
and you will see some, like,
really foul-looking
pale grease ooze out from the
three holes in his sackcloth hood.
Who are you three?
With an unfurl of his cloak.
I
am the
fantastical, the amazing,
all-powerful sorcerer Leifas,
and these
are my assistants.
And he kind of gestures to the two.
I follow me in my
conquest for ultimate power.
Oh my god.
We are not his followers.
They do not know it yet.
You're finding it out day by day.
I'm very certain.
I am extremely
certain. I
am Bethael, the brass
hound. And I
am the great and
magnificent- Pause. Pause.
Pause. Give me a willpower.
Test me here.
You're so right!
You're
so right!
How quick.
I believe it's a minus ten, isn't it?
You're right!
Oh my fucking god.
Oh yes! Yes, you can give
it your fucking name!
Yeah!
You rolled a 15.
Yay!
Hulky Crow, die.
I didn't do anything!
I'm congratulating you!
There are all of our
discussions out of the game.
We're just like, let's do this as a serious
garrison point. Let's role play seriously.
Let's kind of do all that.
Because we notice that every single time we fucking
roll anything, he's like, meh, there's the peanut gallery.
And the clowns
have shown up. God forbid
I won.
We try to be a little bit serious.
That I want speaker D, not
silent D.
True!
Silent D.
And I, as I have deemed you worthy
of now knowing,
am the great and powerful
Byzantine misfit,
Slaaneshi
Between
Appointments.
Ah.
Very interesting that the gods would have us meet
here on this hulk.
I am Sephis Wormspine,
Nurgle Champion.
Ah.
Why do they call you that?
If I am to pass away,
you are free to find out.
I bet he's got a worm for a spine.
Yeah, that's right.
Oh, you are.
You are a deft one.
More than one.
Aha! I was right!
You were all right, and I must congratulate
you on your adroit
assessment.
But, I am curious,
you all
being here is rather unusual,
given that
this vessel, to my
knowledge, was only
found by us in the cleaved
until just
now. Who the hell are the cleaved?
Um,
alright, alright.
So, do any of you have any
lores that would be appropriate
to this? Perhaps Forbidden Lore Chaos
Space Brain. Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah, I have
Sure, you know what, I'll leave it
But I'll let, Speaker, I'll let you do
that as an easy check, so plus
30, and Zoran, for you it would be
an ordinary check, plus 10.
Got it.
Five.
Five.
Nine. Holy sh- Oh my god!
They know everything. Yeah, both of you
are like, ah yes, the cleaved,
obviously. Um, so, so
in fact, you probably
know, um,
the cleaved are a warband of chaos space
marines, um, they are renegades,
so they are not,
um, they are
not space marines that were like,
you know, from the long war,
so to speak. Um,
they,
uh, have had irregular
appearances, their first known
appearance was on the planet,
uh, Magma Cordelian,
uh, where they
essentially appeared and massacred
the guardsmen and secured, uh, the planet
for the traitors, uh,
in more recent times, they've, they've been known
to do various, like, space hulk boardings,
um, to take
over and find technology and what within.
They are very much
a group, uh, known for
their, like, raw endurance
and ability to, to keep
fighting on, uh, except for
like, the most difficult of,
uh, of, you know, injuries and
sustained, you know, assaults.
You would know, however, with, with your,
your varying degrees of success here,
and in fact, both of you, with seven and eight
degrees of success, respectfully,
um, would know that when you came on
board this space hulk, because you came on
for a similar, uh, reason,
you had reason to believe that the cleaved
would be here, um,
and much, much as you're
guessing your, your new associate,
uh, has come to realize,
you weren't expecting a bunch of green skins
to be on this ship, and now you're, you're
desperately trying to get off. Uh, last
thing you would know is that their vessel,
um, and Cephas would know this too, that the vessel
they came on board was destroyed.
Well, you're up shit creek without
a paddle, not like such a thing
would bother a good Nurgle
ad boy like you.
Welcome to our merry band, brother.
Hmm.
Well, considering I am without
battle brothers at this stage,
yes, I would welcome it.
I tell you,
I find it a bit unusual that our
fourth wouldn't carry the
livery of a true legion,
but I do
appreciate a good off-pink.
Well, the
gods work in mysterious ways.
Ugh.
You're a true believer, aren't you?
Well, if it bothers you
so much, you may foresee
this, and he will, like,
raise up his arm, and you'll see, like,
a coating of foul
green grease just kinda, like,
ooze out from some of the joints.
Is that green enough for you,
Slaaneshi?
I don't know if we're going to get along,
but I get a feeling that you'll be a lot
of fun.
Hmm. One can hope.
But...
...in the path ahead.
Please.
Will any of us get along?
I do not consider myself a
slouch in the art of combat.
If we are to get off of this
ship as collecting it for
the glory of the cleaved,
and for Grandfather Nurgle,
is a...
pipe dream at present.
Very contested, now that
there are other forces around.
Uh, Lifeless likes to look around.
What exactly are we doing here on this ship?
Uh, you were boarding
to try to find any useful
technologies or equipment.
You'd made your way into,
for, you know, several hours
until you realized that there was a greenskin
mob on board, and now you've been desperately
trying to extricate back to
your fire raptor to get off the ship.
Gotcha.
Okay. You are closing.
The other thing that you would note right away is that
the little lord, the tiny daemon
of Nurgle, uh, is shitting on
your foot.
Oh my god.
Lifeless looks down.
It looks up.
Like, like, Willem Dafoe
in the way.
.
.
.
.
.
As Lifeless looks down,
he'll say, I assume
this one is in your charge?
Ah, it seems
that it has taken a liking to you, Zetian.
I take that as good, uh,
a good omen of sorts,
given our
disagreements between your god and mine.
They would tell that we did exist
for now, as long as
it can be. As Lifeless kind of
like, leans down a little bit,
kind of like, being as intimidating as
possible toward it. As long as it is
useful.
It picks its nose and burps at
the same time.
What a lad.
Young lord,
do not
agitate him. We had
best keep moving. You are guiding
me somewhere, I believe.
In response, it just turns
and, like, looks down. It
hasn't stopped shitting this entire
time, so there's, like,
kind of a mound that's almost
as big as it on Lifeless's
foot. Where the hell
is he getting that fiber from? That's just liquid.
True. Everything
is provided in Nurgle's garden.
Oh my god.
Nurgle's garden
with its poop fiber.
That's right. It's actually
a warp portal in its butt.
That was Cephas's alternative
name, Bile Poop Feast.
But I decided against it.
Good. True.
So, almost as though it's, like, answering you
that the way you should go is the
Zingchian guy. He continues
shitting to indicate this.
I believe it has led me to you.
And we know the way back to our
raptor? Or to our ship? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're actually fairly close. You've been, like,
you're, like, you're fairly close
to the fire raptor at this point.
And just so I can get
context, like, once we get on it, is that just
better a ship of transportation, or do
we dock too much bigger ships? No, you have another
ship, which we'll talk about later. Okay.
Ah. And I beg. I just had to follow along
with the say here, because I'm just like,
let's just chill out, man.
Now we are just hanging.
He's like, no more
the merrier for our eclectic crew,
I would say.
We have a ship nearby.
I would welcome you to come
with pilgrimage to see my
magical glory rise.
To the ranks.
You know,
I can't help but have my heart
warm,
deep down in its cockles,
to see you so warmly welcome
your brother from an opposing god.
Bethael, how come you're never
this nice to me?
Because...
Somehow I even
prefer his stink to
yours. You know,
Bethael,
one of these days, you're gonna get your
head chopped off, and I'm
gonna make sure it goes someplace
very special.
The feeling
is mutual.
It will go right here, and I'm
gonna point at the skull totem on his
back.
Don't wear me on your back!
You should be honored
to watch my back forever.
You better put me on the
front. Nothing less,
will suffice for my vanity.
Hmm...
Maybe you could prove yourself.
Oh, and don't
get me started on,
you know, back at
Scarlathrax, I would have had you here and there
and there and there, you know?
The nurgling
runs
behind your foot, Lyphos, and starts
pushing it.
Seems he's eager.
It has been guiding me.
I am certain I would be
a welcome addition to your retinue.
I would simply have to
get in touch with my superiors
after. But that is neither
here nor there, because everyone
who I came aboard with
is gone.
So, rather than
leap pointlessly into
Nurgle's embrace, I shall
forestall it. After all,
not meant to die here, I
follow your lead.
It is all a part of his plan.
Come along, crew!
We must
extricate.
I believe he's done plenty
of that so far.
That's a lot.
You know one thing I like
about you, Bethael?
Really?
There's one?
There's one thing I do like about you.
Oh, name it! I'm honored!
Okay, here it goes.
Out of all of us,
you're the only one that doesn't seem
to earnestly think they're in charge.
The screen starts
The screen starts
The screen starts, like,
fading to black as you're
walking down the aisle
with Severs
in tow.
I grab him and shake him around.
Hey, Odo.
Oh, that's me.
Yeah, you wanna read the quote that's on the screen?
Ooh, alright.
It is us.
The truth that there is nothing
in this galaxy but
us. It is our
emotions, our shadows,
our hates and
lusts and disgusts
that lie in wait
on the other side of reality.
That's all.
Every thought,
every memory, every
dream, every nightmare
that any of us
have ever had.
Credited to Iskandar Kion
of the Black Legion.
Evgeny, you sit alone
in a bunker,
surrounded by the, well,
surrounded by the
remains of what was once the
corpses of your fellows,
the corpses themselves having been placed outside.
You have your trusty
weapon, and the door
begins to open. What do you do
as you see the bunker door begin to
turn?
Evgeny will shoulder
aiming at the door, aiming at
presumably whatever is person height.
Okay.
And as you aim, and the
door opens,
four angels descend
upon you. And that
is where we land our first episode.
Yay!
Yay!
Blood and thunder.
God, Teph's voice
fucking hits me deep.
Gets ya. Go get some water.
Imagine you have to go and
garble.
No, it's not
even that it's particularly raspy,
it just tugs on one
specific cord.
And it starts, it's just right there.
And it's just the one cord.
The Bethael
noises have knocked loose
all of the phlegm in my head, and I'm
now just like
Congratulations. You won a
$100 Walmart gift card.
And I'm Byzanty the Surfer.
I like Byzanty so
far. You've done a good job.
Oh, he's great. Thank you.
I adore everybody. I'm just glad you
made that willpower test to tell him your
name.
We would have to just constantly change
his name in the overlay for whatever name
he gives.
I'm alternate reality where
he perpetually fails that
check and I never learn his name so I can't
refer to him.
I just like the idea
too that if you meet someone, he will
refuse to tell the name and then one of you will be like
that's Byzanty.
I'll kill you.
You would not know
that.
I had an amazing time and of course listeners
we hope you had an amazing time too. Thank you so much
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You can always find our Patreon,
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stuff, everything else. Thank you for listening to the
first episode of Warhams
A Chaos Odyssey. We
will see you in the next adventure.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Farewell.
The Dark City.