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Let us know what's up Classroom behavior challenges have reached unprecedented levels, with more than 70% of teachers reporting increased disruptions post-pandemic. As educational professionals and parents navigate this complex landscape, we unpack the multifaceted impact these behaviors have on everyone involved in the classroom ecosystem. Disruptive behaviors don't just affect the student exhibiting them – they create ripple effects throughout the entire learning environment. Teachers los...
Classroom behavior challenges have reached unprecedented levels, with more than 70% of teachers reporting increased disruptions post-pandemic. As educational professionals and parents navigate this complex landscape, we unpack the multifaceted impact these behaviors have on everyone involved in the classroom ecosystem.
Disruptive behaviors don't just affect the student exhibiting them – they create ripple effects throughout the entire learning environment. Teachers lose valuable instructional time, students miss learning opportunities, and the classroom community experiences a diminished sense of belonging and connection. For educators, these constant interruptions contribute to stress, burnout, and ultimately, the decision to leave the profession altogether.
Our conversation explores practical strategies for all stakeholders. For parents of children with behavioral challenges, we emphasize the power of parent-teacher partnerships and teaching children to process situations logically rather than emotionally. Rather than immediately defending your child, ask questions to understand what happened: "Walk me through this. How did we get here?" This approach helps children learn accountability while still feeling supported.
Teachers need to maintain consistent expectations while building positive relationships with both students and parents. Sharing successes (not just concerns) creates trust and cooperation. Meanwhile, parents of other students in the classroom can use these situations as opportunities to teach compassion, understanding differences, and developing empathy – life skills that extend far beyond academic learning.
The classroom represents a microcosm of the larger world, where children learn how to interact with others who have different needs, abilities, and responses. When we teach children to navigate these differences with grace and understanding, we're preparing them to become compassionate adults who can build meaningful connections across differences.
Want to join our conversation? Let us know if you'd be interested in a "Life in the IEP Tribe: Don't Be a Turd" shirt by messaging us on Facebook or emailing lifeintheiptribe@gmail.com. We'd love to hear your experiences and strategies for addressing classroom behavior challenges.
Join us as we dive into the world of special education with two educators who have walked the same path as many of you. In addition to teaching in self-contained and collaborative settings, our hosts bring a unique perspective to the challenges and triumphs of raising a special needs child. From classroom strategies to heartfelt family moments, they offer practical advice, empathy, and a community of support. Discover how their personal experiences can shed light on your journey and gain valuable insights into navigating the complexities of special education both in and out of the classroom. Welcome to the tribe!
Speaker 1: And just like that,
we're recording episode number
two of our second season and I
am still just as excited as I
was in the last recording, but
I'm just tired right now, so my
woohoos are are not going to be
very, uh, loud and boisterous.
Speaker 2: I get it oh.
Speaker 1: Cardi, how you doing
today.
Speaker 2: I'm doing all right
that's good.
Speaker 1: so for those of you
that don't know, I don't even
know why I started that way,
because that really doesn't
matter we were talking and we
thought, you know, it'd be a
good idea to kind of pick up
where we left off and do some
chit-chatting and conversations
about behavior.
Behavior seems to be a pretty
big deal, right, and it's easy
for us.
I think when we're in a
classroom and we work with
different students that have
different behavioral expressions
, that sometimes it's easy to
feel like we live in our own
little world that other people
don't understand, right, because
we're inside of our walls.
I've known parents that have
children with special needs that
have said that there's a lot of
times when things are getting
crazy, that they feel alone.
Student is exhibiting crazy
behaviors.
You almost feel.
You almost feel, I don't know,
like inadequate and lost because
you don't know what to do to.
I mean, I guess you could
approach it one of two ways.
Some people are how do I just
fix this kid?
And then others are like, okay,
so there's something going on
that they're trying to help us
understand, and it can be very
frustrating.
Well, I've been reading a few
things, because I do that on
occasion, and what I have found
is that behavior issues in the
classroom are.
They're not going anywhere.
It's a continuing trend,
unfortunately, training upwards
and there's a lot that goes into
that and a lot that shapes the
behavior of students.
But I was reading something
just the other day, and actually
I'm reading it right now
because it's in front of me too,
this report in 2023 said more
than 70 percent of teachers
report an increase in disruptive
behavior.
An increase in disruptive
behavior 70, that's a lot, yes
and and.
So in in the report, they talk
about different things to look
at and different things to to
focus on.
And and, of course, wherever
you in this story, it's going to
play a big part into what it is
that you're responding to.
Right, if you're a teacher,
you're going to deal with it a
little bit different way than,
say, a parent would, or maybe
you know.
Speaker 2: Service provider
Right.
Speaker 1: Right, Because we do
know that there's different
settings, and different settings
are going to invoke different
behaviors and there's going to
be different ways to deal with
them.
In May of 2024, right, that was
just last year that 80% of
public school leaders reported
that they agree or strongly
agree with the statement that
COVID-19 pandemic and its
lingering effects continue to
negatively impact the behavioral
development of students at my
school.
When asked a slightly different
question in May of 2022, 83% of
public school leaders reported
that they agree or strongly
agree with this statement.
The COVID-19 pandemic
negatively impacted the
behavioral development of
students at my school, and so
I'm pretty sure that anybody
that just heard that is shaking
their head going oh, yeah, yeah,
I get that.
And so then when you take that,
mrs Curtis, and we pair it with
the research that shows us that
inappropriate or unwanted
behavior oftentimes ties with
students that have disabilities,
that there's behavioral issues
that tend to walk hand in hand
with that, yet it's continuing
to grow, and we know that our
students with disabilities
population continues to grow, so
we've got to figure some things
out.
Speaker 2: Sorry.
Yes, we do need to figure
something out Right now.
Speaker 1: What's the answer?
What are?
Speaker 2: you going to figure
out Figure it out, Curtis.
Do the solution?
Speaker 1: Solution.
So, with all that being said,
where do we start?
Speaker 2: Well, we touched a
little bit on the impact of
disruptive behaviors in the
learning environment.
We know that it impacts the
teacher and all the students,
and not just the students that
are.
It impacts the children doing
the behavior as well as the ones
that are not doing the
behaviors, and when the teacher
has to stop to intervene, then
it leads to lost instructional
time and then, with that, lower
academic achievement for the
students in the classroom, for
the students in the classroom,
and then also yeah, the words
aren't working very well this
evening, so it impacts all the
people in the room.
And then also one of the things
that you would we found that it
also decreases a sense of
belonging for all involved
because it disrupts the
environment and it disrupts
what's going on.
A student or multiple students
in there that are causing
disruptions and making it
difficult for other students to
learn, and it creates friction.
And then the behaviors will
also impact the teacher and it
will make them more stressed out
because they're dealing with
the behavior and that we know
we've discussed a little bit
that their you know their
timelines for instruction is
gotten more intense, like, no,
they need to learn this, learn
this material, and they need to
learn it within this time and so
, but they have to stop it.
It impacts their timeline and
then they get behind and they
feel stressed and they get burnt
out and it can also impact the
turnover rate.
They're like never mind, I
don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 1: So we've identified,
and of course, there's more that
play into it, but let's look at
just three key pieces to this
conversation.
We have the teacher, we have
the student that is exhibiting
the behavior, and then we have
the students who are observing
the behavior and having it
impact their education
experience, impact their
education experience.
So of those three, there's only
one person that has direct I'm
going to use the word control
because they are in that
situation so they can control
what they're doing that might be
listening to this.
There's three people.
So let's talk a little bit
about what we might want to
share with the teacher, what we
might want to share with the
parent of the student that is
struggling with inappropriate
behavior.
And then what do we say to the
parent who, who has the student
in that classroom, that the
behavior issue isn't theirs, but
they are going to.
Uh, I experience the
consequences of others actions
because we see that a lot in
life.
Right, sometimes we do dumb
things and we, you know we pay
for that because you know you
put your finger in the fire and
it's going to get burned.
Right, put your hand on the
stove, it's going to get burned.
That's a direct consequence of
our actions.
But then there's times, you
know where, if I'm standing in
front of an oven or a stovetop
and somebody bumps me because
they're horse playing and I
don't see them and I stick my
hand out to stop myself, I'm
going to burn myself right, and
so that's kind of the product of
somebody else's choice.
Regardless of how it comes to be
, we all do take some ownership.
And what do we do with that?
Like, what can I do?
What is my part in all of this?
In making the best of the
situation?
So, said all of that, I come
back around and say what is it
that we would say first to the
parent of the child that's
exhibiting this behavior?
What is it that we should
challenge and encourage that
parent to do in approaching this
situation?
Speaker 2: I think one thing
that comes to mind is and I
think we touched on this a
little bit last time too is that
parent-teacher relationship and
making that stronger.
It's important for students to
see that, okay, my parent and my
teacher are a team and they
both want the same thing out of
me.
Um, and you know, not not every
time that you're not going to
always get along with each other
.
However, for the sake of the
student, uh, I would challenge
teachers and and parents to try
your best.
And you know, children are
children, don't want to get in
trouble, and also they have a a
different perspective.
They say they see things from
like we all do.
They, you know, you see things
from where you are.
And, um, sometimes, what the
children think happened, they go
home and tell their parent that
happened.
It isn't exactly what happened,
and so I'd also challenge
parents to, before getting upset
when their child comes home and
says, my, you know, my teacher
got onto me or I had time out or
I lost something that I wanted
and to just take a breath and
ask the child to, okay, tell me
what happened, Ask questions
instead of jumping right up and
calling the teacher and say, hey
, this is what happened and to
ask those questions this is what
happened and to ask those
questions.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I, you know, I,
we would never disagree with
the idea of a parent um
protecting their child,
defending their child, but one
of the best ways that you can
defend your child is to help
them to structure a worldview
that allows for logic and
walking through situations.
Now, I know that in some
situations, it's really easy for
us to look at our I'm going to
say our kid because now I'm
talking from the parent side and
to say, well, they have this,
they have this learning
disability, or they have this
exceptionality, or they have
whatever.
They don't quite understand X,
y and Z, and there is truth to
that.
Nobody's suggesting that, say,
a child that has a traumatic
brain injury is going to be
expected to process things in
the same way as somebody that is
like a neurotypical person.
But it's important to not sell
your kids short either, and so
take every moment to teach them,
to help them get past, because
one of the things that we do as
human beings is we get lost in
emotion, and this is me again,
from experience.
It's one thing to know what's
right to do, but it's another
thing to do it when you're mad,
and that's hard, that is hard.
That's hard.
And so then you end up like
apologizing for a bunch of stuff
.
And if you haven't noticed, yes
, I have a list of those too.
And if you haven't noticed, yes
, I have a list of those too.
But we got to teach our kids to
walk through things and to take
ownership, okay.
This reminds me of a story you
once told me about something on
a bus with Brandon.
I'm probably not going to win
any like parent points for this
one, but so one day Brandon was,
he was in elementary school and
he came in off the bus and he
had this big red mark on the
side of his face and I said what
happened?
He said this kid punched me and
I said no, I didn't.
I didn't respond with well, did
you hit him back?
Which is typically our thing,
right?
I said okay.
Well, why, like?
Why did he punch you in the
face?
Because typically not always,
but typically people don't just
walk up and punch you in the
mouth, right, for no reason.
Just say, I'm walking down the
aisle at Walmart and while I'm
looking at the Fruity Pebbles,
somebody just bam right in the
mouth.
Doesn't happen often, right?
So I asked him and he said I
don't know.
I said well, that seems kind of
strange to me.
Why don't you walk me through
the process?
He says well, I stepped on this
kid's backpack by accident and
he said hey, don't step on my
backpack, oh, and then he
punched you in the mouth, no,
well, what happened?
Well, I stepped on it again On
purpose, yes.
And then he punched you in the
mouth, yes.
So don't step on his backpack.
Am I gonna get mad because my
kid got punched in the mouth for
being a turd?
Speaker 2: no, he's being a turd
right, but you asked, okay, so
what happened?
Instead of flying to the school
and demanding to talk to this
kid's parent because let's watch
the video the bus video they
punched your kid in the mouth.
Yeah you, you ask those
questions.
Well, walk me.
Walk me through this.
And how do we get there?
Speaker 1: well, and that's not
to, and that's not necessarily
going to guarantee that you're
always going to get where you
want to.
However, you start this, I'm
going to use the word training.
I hate using that in this
situation, but you're starting
this process where you're
teaching your kid to process
through what's going on and
again that's not saying that you
just check your kids to the
wolves and they're always wrong
or anything like that, but it's
always important to find
ownership.
Ownership's a big deal in every
situation, and so start
teaching your kid that.
So if you're the parent that
has the behavior issues, has a
child with behavior issues,
start walking them through the
understanding, because I tell
you what you know I've been in
the school system, working in
special education, for almost a
decade.
I worked with families through
our church for almost a decade
and I've had the opportunity to
see and work with a lot of kids,
a lot of different backgrounds
and so on and so forth, and then
they don't understand why there
are negative consequences for
that, not because they're
incapable of understanding, but
because parents didn't take the
time to walk them through that,
to identify those things.
So instead you have these kids
that are growing up that they
can't understand why they're
getting in trouble outside of
the house when it's like they
didn't do, from their
perspective, anything wrong, and
so there's that.
So we have that for the parent
who and ask for help that's
another thing I threw out.
There, too, is it's okay to ask
for help?
And that's another thing I
threw out.
There, too, is it's okay to ask
for help?
Nobody's got this thing figured
out.
You know you'll sit in meetings
with people who you know your
kid better than anybody else,
like you're gonna know their
likes, their dislikes, you know
those types of things.
You got people sitting on the
other side of the table that
have committed their lives to
research and studying the
different things that your child
is dealing with at the same
time.
So why not pull that together
instead of me versus you?
Right, and the way we do that
is we ask for help.
We do that.
Teachers ask for help, parents
ask for help.
So now let's move on to the
teacher side.
Speaker 2: Mrs Curtis, if I'm a
teacher and I have these
behaviors happening in my
classroom.
Speaker 1: I just want these
kids to learn.
That's like that's my whole
thing.
I don't know that there's's
anybody.
I don't know that I've met a
teacher, and I've met some great
teachers that love math, but
they love watching kids learn
math like they love watching
that light bulb.
Come on, um.
I don't know that that I've met
any reading teachers.
That's just.
I just love reading and they may
, but that's not why they're
teachers All right, because they
love to see the light bulb go
off in that little kid's face or
middle school or whatever as
they're walking them through
these subjects, and there's an
excitement in seeing again those
light bulbs going off and
they're learning something new.
So what do we say to that
teacher who's in a classroom,
who is I don't know?
I mean, they may be even on the
verge of a nervous breakdown
because they can't do what it is
they feel they are in that
position to do because of this
one particular child.
Speaker 2: Well as with the
parent, the teacher.
I would recommend the teacher
reaches out to the parent and
have that communication.
And one thing that is, I think,
important to remember and I had
to learn this too is when
you're communicating with the
parent, don't always call them
or message them or write in
little Johnny's notebook all the
bad things.
Let the parent know when they
have had a great day or a great
morning.
Maybe it wasn't a whole great
day, but hey, listen, the
afternoon was tough.
However, this morning he made
some really good choices.
So that communication and also
knowing that you see their child
can make good choices as well.
So do focus on that positive and
then also communicate when
you're having struggles.
And I think that it will come
through to the parents better.
If every time they're seeing an
email from you or a dojo or a
message that they know you're
going to complain about their
kid, that's not going to help
that relationship.
And once again, we talked about
that parent-teacher
relationship is probably the
most important part to help
these behaviors.
And then consistency being
consistent when you, if you
allowed it today but don't allow
it tomorrow, and then the next
day you allow it again, the
child won't understand.
They need to know what is
allowed and what is not allowed.
Speaker 1: As an adult, I don't
understand that Right.
And what is not allowed.
As an adult, I don't understand
that Right.
If I go to work and I walk in
one day and I follow these set
of procedures and I mean, maybe
nobody says I'm doing great, but
if they don't tell me I'm doing
it wrong, I'll probably
continue to do it.
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1: Right, so I'll come
in the next day and do it, and
then I have that person, or I
have that supervisor come after
me and chew me up and down
because I did it this way.
Well, it's really confusing,
because I just did it like that
yesterday and it was fine, right
.
Speaker 2: So being consistent
and knowing your expectations
and your rules.
I had something I was going to
say, but then I forgot.
Speaker 1: It's my fault, isn't
it?
Well, you know, in talking to,
like I said, I've met whose
children have behavior issues.
They know it.
They know their kid has
behavior issues.
Now they want to stand up for
their child, they want to defend
their child, and so when a
teacher is constantly coming at
them complaining about their kid
, I mean their natural instinct
is to defend their kid.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: So what I would like
to add to this conversation and
it's something that,
interestingly enough, that my
dad has used for years in like
marriage counseling and he'll
ask this question, and if people
are honest with themselves
first time around hearing this
question, you'll think to
yourself oh yeah, probably not.
So here's what he asks.
He'll say can you honestly look
at the relationship and say
that you've done everything that
you can, everything you can
control, to make the
relationship work?
So now let's take that and put
it into the educational system.
I am not questioning the heart
of a teacher.
I'm not questioning the drive
of a teacher.
I'm not questioning the drive
of a teacher.
I'm not questioning the passion
of a teacher.
But what I will ask is this in
that relationship with the
parent, have you done everything
you possibly can to make the
relationship work?
Because, again, what we were
talking about with the parent of
the child, that's exhibiting
these behaviors that are
inconducive to a successful
classroom.
The teacher needs to take that
too.
Am I doing everything I can to
possibly foster a relationship
that leads, not fix the kid?
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm not saying can you go down
a checklist and say, well, I did
this, I did this.
I did this because I'm trying
to get them to just sit in their
seat.
No, the relationship that you
are forming with the child and
the parent are you doing
everything you can to and I'm
just stressing the same thing
you said earlier to keep that
communication open, be a team to
work together?
So that's the teacher, the
parent of the rambunctious one.
What can we share with parents
of students that have to share
that space, which oftentimes
even presents itself in a manner
of what do we tell our kids?
So if I have a student in my
class that's having a meltdown,
I don't know why.
You don't know why Little Jimmy
over there doesn't know why
Little Janie over there doesn't
know why?
As parents of little Jimmy and
little Janie, or whoever I said,
what can we share with those
parents that they might share
with their kids who observe
those situations in the
classroom?
Speaker 2: I would start with
having those parents talk to
their children about everybody's
different.
Everybody has different needs,
everybody learns different,
everybody has different
responses, especially to
different sensory inputs.
A lot of times that our
students with disabilities that
are in the general education
classroom you know talking about
these meltdowns, but you know,
and that's usually they're due
to some sort of sensory either
deficit or need or
overstimulated, and look for
books to read with your child
about students being different,
and I know that it's hard
because you want to say, well,
my kid's not learning and you
know this kid's taking the time
and help them foster some grace,
because a lot of times these
students aren't.
They don't want to disrupt the
class.
Now, some do, some that's what
they want to do.
However, if you're having
students with disabilities and
they're having struggles with
the behavior due to sensory
problems, then it's not
something that's under their
control, and so that's where I
would start is.
Speaker 1: So our responsibility
inside of the school room is
reading, writing, arithmetic.
These are the things that we're
expected to teach, but it's
important to remember that
inside those classrooms are
snapshots, right A microcosm of
the world outside, and if we can
teach our children to be
compassionate in the classroom,
they will become adults that are
compassionate in the world.
And one of the areas that we
struggle with as human beings is
that we live in our head and we
see the world happen around us.
Now I was that weird kid that
would you know, sit on a bench
and you see people drive by in
the car and I'm like I wonder
what they're thinking.
Like I'm sitting here on this
bench and I see all these people
around me.
I wonder if anybody else is
just sitting in their car on a
bench and feeling the same way,
like I'm stuck inside of my body
, seeing the whole world around
me, and we all operate that way.
We all operate that way, and
the way we see all of that is
shaped primarily by the
experiences that we have, the
interactions that we have, and
so, of course, we need our
parents and our grandparents and
our teachers and our preachers
and the people in the community
to help us take those
experiences and shape the
perspective properly, because
you know, if I burn my hand on
the stove, my instinct might be
to say the stove is bad.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Right, and so we need
help shaping all of that.
Said, all that to say.
When we look at the classroom,
and no matter what part of that
picture you are emphasizing,
compassion is huge.
If little Jimmy doesn't quite
get how to find the volume of a
rectangular sphere nope not
sphere prism, prism.
Thank you.
Yep, I'm tired.
Square ball, right.
It's like how does that even?
I mean I know they call, like a
wrestling ring, the squared
circle.
But but yeah, if they don't get
that today, but they get how to
care about somebody else in
their classroom, to me that's a
win.
And that's where it all starts.
So, mrs Curtis, you got
anything else you want to add to
this?
Speaker 2: I don't think so.
Speaker 1: Bottom line don't be
a turd.
No matter where you are in the
picture, don't be a turd.
I'm more going to get a shirt
made that says life in the IEP
tribe don't be a turd.
Let me know if you would buy
that shirt or bumper sticker.
Speaker 2: Or a turn.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's another
story for another day.
So, yeah, and if you would be
interested in it, let us know.
You can tell us on Facebook,
you can message us, you can
shoot us an email at
lifeintheeptribe at gmailcom and
we'll talk some more about it,
but until next time.
Mrs Curtis, do you have any
closing words, or did I do them
all?
I?
Speaker 2: think you may have
done them all.
Speaker 1: I've done all the
closing words, so we'll see you
next week.
Say bye, bye.