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What do you do when the bottom drops out and life breaks in ways you never imagined? Charlie and Jill LeBlanc have walked that road, and through their personal story of loss, they’ve discovered the sustaining power of God's presence. In this podcast, they offer heartfelt conversations, Scripture-based encouragement, and the kind of hope that only comes from experience. Whether you're grieving, struggling, or searching for peace in the middle of chaos, this space is for you.
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (00:00.344)
Wait a minute. Sorry.
My Clock's not responding.
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (00:08.886)
Okay, sure. Our clock was not responding. My phone is... Phone needs to be restarted. Just forget it. Unless there's a way that you can...
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (00:24.078)
Tell us what time it is by sign language. can see we have clocks on every device. OK, well, I'll do without the clock. It's 2 31. We are ready to go.
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (00:48.302)
Hi everybody and welcome to another session. I was going to say lesson session episode. That's good. Of Finding Hope, our Finding Hope podcast. And yeah, what is the, what is the subtitle? It's called getting through what you never asked for, which is that's a mouthful. I every time, every time we say that I always just.
my brain just freezes for a minute. And I think about all the things that we are getting through even right now that we never asked for. It's pretty crazy. And then the scripture says, count it all joy when you... I mean, I'm laughing because sometimes there's nothing else you can do but laugh and trust the Lord. And sometimes you just have to try to make yourself laugh. Yeah.
Well, that's for sure. And other times you just have to try to make yourself not cry or not get upset. Right. That's for sure. You know, we all walk through different seasons of life with different complications, usually through relationships, but it can be all kinds of manner of things. Yeah. But we are so grateful for the grace of God, aren't we? Gosh. Yeah, I love the scripture. It says, come boldly before the throne of.
grace that we may receive grace to help in our time of need. And I know many of you are tuning in because you are facing the passing of a loved one and your heart is broken. Some of you are just a few weeks out. Some of you are years out. We're years out, but nonetheless, our heart has been to
encourage you in any way that we can to get through what you never asked for in this situation and to help you comfort, bring you words of comfort, bring you words of affirmation to affirm to you that you're not crazy. It's okay for you to cry. It's okay for you to grieve. In some circles, you know, they feel like grieving or mourning is kind of a
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (03:14.228)
a lack of faith. It's kind of carnal. Yeah. And yet the Bible shows us that great men of God mourned and grieved all over the Bible. I've done a lot of study. We've put it in our book. There it is. When loss comes close to home. We put it in our book and a whole lot of information about great men and women of God who mourned and grieved.
over the loss of their loved ones. So again, it's just normal. And it's something you just have to deal with. It's something you have to go through. I guess we can sit here 17 years later and say, it will get better. It will get better. You have to hold on to Jesus. You have to hold on tight to His heart. Weep with Him, because He weeps with you when...
We suffer, He suffers. So these are all just little points that we talk a lot about on this podcast because they're just so important to know that it's okay to cry, it's okay to mourn, and it's a process, it's a normal process that we go through, and it's not unspiritual. It's something that we do with the Lord. The Lord holds us, He comforts the brokenhearted. The Bible says that He
keeps our tears in his bottle. So there's just so many aspects that clearly show us that the Lord does not rebuke the brokenhearted. In fact, he is close to the brokenhearted. That's such powerful thoughts. understands us and he carries us. Just like, you know, we've all heard the stories of the shepherd who went a lamb.
has is injured of you know whatever whatever way that the shepherd will carry that little lamb on his shoulders. A man will carry a little animal on his shoulders until the animal gets well enough to be able to carry on on their own and and our father is that gentle with us. Yeah and he understands and he the Bible says he remembers that we're we're just dust. We were
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (05:40.981)
originally made from the dust of the ground. And he remembers that about us. We're not superheroes. And he is there to comfort us. is the God of all comfort. knows that we're frail humans. And he came on this earth and laid down his glory to become a man. And so he felt everything that we felt, even at the at the tomb of his friend Lazarus, seeing Mary and Martha.
and all the other friends crying, he felt, like you said, he understood, he saw how painful it would be to live on this earth with death. And so he understands. Yes, he does. Yeah. Gracious. You you were talking about the shepherd and holding the lamb, and I thought about this USB that we put out. I don't know if you can see it. I'll get as close as I can. But we called it the God of all comfort.
And we actually, it's all on a USB right there in here. And what it is basically is, we taught about this song, God of our comfort. We taught about, we played the song, we taught about the song. We taught about the God, the scripture that he is the God of our comfort, the father of mercies. And we have all kinds of powerful downloads in this thing. We have lesson notes, we have a five day devotional.
We have scriptures for comfort and we have a lyric sheet and a lead sheet and a chord chart of the song. And we actually play the song, a music video of the song in this. So we encourage you to get this and let it be a comfort and a ministry to you as well. But again, it's a man, a shepherd holding a sheep, know, a sheep, is that right? A sheep, okay. A lamb.
And sheep sometimes sounds plural. But lamb is singular. No, lamb is a baby like a calf. OK. And a sheep is the animal. So he's holding a sheep. Mm My brain doesn't work well with that one. But anyway, you guys get what we're saying. So. But but there's but sheep can be singular or.
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (08:05.387)
the English language is very tricky. It is. It's complicated. Yeah. So last week we talked about the analysis of paralysis and and we covered that really well. We're going to touch on some more of that this week, but how that when you go through a traumatic loss like you have, like we have.
You basically, you get paralyzed sometimes. You don't know how to function the way you used to function. you try to do the normal things that you always did and you have difficulty doing them. so we ministered along those lines last time, but today we want to kind of try to hit on this aspect of coming out of paralysis.
Now that's something that I believe the Holy Spirit and God our Father does for you in the Spirit. He helps, He heals, slowly heals broken hearts. He slowly pulls us gently out of the shock of the moment, which is so shocking. And boy, we remember how shocking it was.
It was devastating. I, you know, I can't say it enough. And you guys totally understand what I'm saying. Most of you, the shock of the pain of your loved one dying. I hate to even say that word dying, but it's so true. Thankfully, the word says that we go from death to life. But nonetheless, when you see your loved one there and he takes his last breath or she forgive me. Yes.
It is just, it is just so hard.
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (10:04.469)
Anyway, and even if you didn't see your loved ones death, take his last breath just to see them there at the funeral home or wherever. Martialry, it's horrible, horrible. then there's, are many people that don't even get to do that because of the situation. Gosh, were recently in an elevator and there was, a woman on the phone and her teenage daughter was next to her and.
I picked up on their conversation because where we were had an Air Force base and an Army base nearby. she was talking to, I don't know, one of maybe her sister or someone. Well, I picked up on the conversation that they had been to a service of some sort for her son. Her son. Who apparently was killed in serving.
And so they were there to pick up his things and she was saying, I have his dog tags. Yeah, she was she was wearing them and she, you know, she didn't get to see her son anymore after he left. That's right. And of course, like you said, some dying fires, 9-11, know, and you don't get to see your loved ones.
So it's so horrible. All of it is just so tough. It's just so hard. And there's so many different circumstances about it. But, know, we do seem to get paralyzed at times when we're in the middle of these kinds of things. And, we want to just try to encourage you a little bit about coming out of paralysis, you know, not rushing that, letting God do it, not pretending that you're okay with running to people that say, I'm doing great. Praise the Lord. And yet.
You know, I don't know. Maybe some people can bounce back that quick, but but, you know, I don't know. It takes time. Yeah. I want to read a little thing that I came across on social media the other day. I I see several different grievers pose. I followed several different people that post about grieving and just like what we're doing. And so it's just really interesting to get others perspectives. But this
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (12:28.889)
this girl posted, said, think one of the strongest things a griever has to do is put on a smile and enter back into society who will never understand the deep pain, sorrow, and raw emotions they feel on a daily basis. Wow. So this person has begun to emerge.
from their paralysis, they've begun to get back into society and try to live their life, but they're trying to put on a brave face. And that is one of the most difficult things you can do because you know those people that you're around, they don't understand the level of your pain that you are living with on a daily basis.
We just want to affirm you for for for getting up and going forward, even knowing that people don't understand. It's very difficult. So we commend you before the Lord right now. And yeah. And God bless you. Yeah. Our friend of ours just posted actually in a newsletter, he said his wife's passing in October was definitely the most pain I have ever.
experienced. And you know, this friend of ours, he's a very up guy. He is the most joyful, strong, Christian, smiley, talks a mile a minute, beautiful spirit, beautiful person. And yet, and so when you're around him, in fact, we'll be with him soon for dinner. And
When we're around him, you know, he's always just still smiling, still joking, still doing all that. But he says this. It's definitely the most pain I've ever experienced. Something that I'm learning is helping me to have more compassion for others who are going through it. And, you know, so it's just we all have experienced it. And I love his transparency there and.
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (14:49.391)
You like you said, some people we have to hide it. We have to just kind of get through it. And what did that, his pastor say that was so profound about the love and like where to place it? told me it. Yeah. Did I quote it? When you were walking, you could just say it. I think you did a good job sharing it with me. He was teaching on grief to the whole church and and our friend shared this with us.
And he said, one of the hardest things about grief is not that your loved one is gone. And that is very hard. But one of the harder things is...
The love you still have for them doesn't have a place to land because they are gone, where you would place your love. yeah, that was very profound. That's very profound because you have this love that you've loved them. I'm thinking about, I thought about Jerianne Savelle just now. We did an interview with her a few weeks ago. You can find it and watch it, but she lost her dad two years ago.
Jerry Savelle, a prominent minister in the body of Christ, incredible man. And it's just been two years and she loved her daddy so much. And so that's a perfect example. just doesn't, all that love, you know, she has no place to land it in a human person right in front of her, because she continues to love her daddy. But it's like,
know, it's a profound statement that you don't have that loved one to share that love with. To bestow the... Yeah, let me read it again. of the hardest things about grief is not that your loved one is gone, but the love you have, the love you still have for them doesn't have a place to land. Oh man, that's just very touching. So, getting back a little bit, and as the Lord leads, we'll just
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (16:56.907)
minister what we feel led to, but we're going to talk about coming out of paralysis. And, one of the thoughts is that when you start to feel slightly a little bit better, sometimes people feel guilty about that. You know, they feel guilty that they're actually doing better when their loved one died. And that's that's a tough one. And sometimes we don't want to give ourselves permission to feel better or to laugh or to enjoy a nice movie.
or to enjoy being with friends, you know, because we feel guilty, we think, well, I'm supposed to be sad. I can't be happy anymore, you know, but the truth of the matter is, is that there is a time in a season for mourning and that season does start to wane. does start to the paralysis of it. The shock of it does start to wane a little bit and you need to give yourself permission to slowly come out of
paralysis. When you're starting to feel better, it doesn't mean you're victorious. It's all done, you know. In fact, it's never all done, if you want my opinion. But because I still miss Bo so much. And anything can trigger it, you know, a picture, some music, seeing another young man that looks so much like him, watching a singer on television or something, a young boy like
what's it America's Got Talent or one of those shows every now and then we rarely, but every now and then we get to watch and see this amazing talent. Sometimes I see these young men, think, both could have done that, both could have done that. So anything can trigger it, but we still do get better and you may still feel tired or still emotional, still unsure about your future and about how you're going to get through this, but something will begin to shift inside of you.
and you'll start to engage in life a little bit better in tiny little ways. And that's that's okay. That's that's to be expected. You know, you're no longer battling with, you know, how to get dressed and and, you know, how to answer people. But but, know, you just you know, you just start feeling a little bit better. And you were in shock, Joe, for for quite a long time.
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (19:18.287)
And not only preparing for the funeral and preparing for the second funeral and then packing for Ministry trips that we started to go on again was it to this day packing is harder Yeah, then it ever has we just got back from Colorado. We were there for two weeks. We ministered at Caris Bible College and And we had a fantastic time, but the packing It's just gotten harder through these I mean it was really really hard
right after. And then it kind of eased up a little bit, but it's it's still harder than it ever was before. Yeah, that's for sure. Yeah, I know. And even it had an Uber coming and we just said, he's coming. We got to be ready. You know, all the stuff in the suitcase and let's get out of here. Whatever we didn't pack, we'll have to just purchase it over there. You know, so but, you know, starting to feel better about things can can look
like, you know, getting dressed when you didn't feel like it. I know these are some things that you actually put in the book answering a message you've been avoiding sitting outside for a few minutes, eating a normal meal again, taking a short drive. They don't feel like big things, but they are little things, little baby steps of starting to feel better and starting to embrace a bit of your healing and getting through that.
initial paralysis. And that's just something I just want to encourage you. It's normal. It's okay. It's something to be, you know, to embrace really. like, and it can get better and then, and then bam, worse. Yeah. That happened to you. Well, I wanted to share, and I think I've shared this before, but not everyone hears every podcast. So our son's birthday is in May.
And the first birthday after he passed, were we were still living in St. Louis, but we came down here to Florida. At least I came down to Florida. Our oldest daughter was here and let's see. She didn't have the baby yet, so she was still pregnant. And then Charlie and Cherry went to Arizona on this same weekend because his mother's birthday was the same day as Bo's. That's right. So I came down here to be with
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (21:43.185)
Cammie and little baby, and you went to be with your mom. And Cherry was here too, right? Cherry went with you. I forgot about that. and then plus they were having a big women's conference here at the church where Cammie served at. And so I just came here to be with her for that. And I remember this, God had me in this grace bubble.
because all of a sudden here we are, it's Bo's birthday, the conference was right, Bo's birthday was right in middle of the conference. And here we were on that day. Just four months after he passed, right? Yeah. Four or five months. Four months. And so, like I said, I was enveloped in this gray swaddle. I didn't feel any sadness. I didn't feel grief, mourning, anything. I felt the joy of the Lord. And I remember
being in those worship services for that conference and they were just beautiful and powerful. And I was, I remember just worshiping freely and there were a few people that knew because they were friends of Cammie's, they knew I was her mother and they knew what we'd just been through. And I remember one girl came up to me and said, I couldn't believe to see how you were worshiping. It just ministered to my heart so much. And I just felt like, praise God.
I made it through the grief process. Hallelujah. And I thought, but I don't want to, I don't want to, you know, be too strong on this. don't want to make the rest of the family feel like they're less than because I've made it through and they're still going through. well, it wasn't too much later. Maybe the next week that it all just, once I got back home, it all caved back in on me. And
And this happens, know, God will give us little, I mean, you we'll have little seasons of reprieve. And I think it was the grace of God that helped me through that conference weekend of being with my daughter, supporting her while she's serving and all that. And. But, you know, it was still many months before. Before I felt like I was kind of normal, you know, but but, you know.
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (24:05.794)
with little levels of improvement and healing here and there. And that's just how it goes. Yeah. And you can think I'm good. Yeah. And then you're not good. Yeah. And that's kind of the the the waves of grief. think I did an article once called him the waves. It's like you feel like you're fine and then all of sudden, bam, another wave hits you. And, know, I don't want to make grief out to sound like it's it's bad or evil because
you know, it's just part of the process. Mourning can be a beautiful thing because you love your loved ones so much that weeping and sadness for them, it can be a good thing. Of course, knowing if they were Christians, where they are, understanding that side of it as well brings some relief of pain. But nonetheless,
It's still you coming home to an empty house or walking into their bedroom when they're not there. And all the different activities that involve their life are no more. You know, that's just that's just the really hard reality of it. So, yeah, so just just embracing if you're starting to feel a little better, not feeling guilty about it, you know.
You will have good moments and you will have hard moments. It's just part of it. you know, some days you feel stronger. Other days you feel like you're back where you started. And that doesn't mean you're failing. It just means you're healing. You know, it's like sometimes, how should I be some transparent? I'm not sure what you're going to say. You've been struggling with a nerve in your neck issue for about a month now.
a month and a half. Yeah, a month and a half. And so some days you feel like, wow, I think it's better. And it is. It is better. Well, yeah, overall, it's better. But I'm that you've had days where you thought it could be over. And then the next day, it's like, it hurts again. And then two steps forward, one step backwards. exactly. And that's praise God for that you are taking two steps forward.
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (26:24.344)
not one step forward and two steps backwards, you know, with your healing, with thank you, Jesus, for it. But yeah, it's similar to that in grief. It's like you you do take a couple of steps forward and you do embrace that. But don't be deceived in that and think, well, I'm all done like you'll experience, know, just walk in it, enjoy it. One Paul Clark, who we interviewed on this podcast as well, once told us he sat around with our family and he said, listen,
every day you'll get daily bread, you'll get a marsal from heaven. God will strengthen you. God will help you get through that day. But he said, but don't think that just because you got a good piece of bread that day that you're good. You don't need anything else. He said, trust me, you're going to need it every day. You're going to need a marsal, a part of that bread every single day. And boy, did we experience that.
Yeah, just just knowing that, know, don't let one situation, one thing say, I'm healed, I'm done, you know. And, you know, hey, if you are, you are. Praise God. I'm rejoicing with you. I rejoice with those who rejoice and I weep with those who weep. But in most cases, you know, you do go two steps forward and then you have a little setback again.
but you keep moving to step forward and you keep gaining every day. And you're not to rush it. You're not to go by anybody else's timeline. Just stay steady. Just be, just walk in what you know. The Bible tells us to live in the things that we do know and that we do understand. And it's so important that we embrace what we have gotten better in.
but at the same time, we give ourselves room for falling again. We give ourselves room for having a difficult moment. And that's perfectly normal in the healing process. Yeah. scripture here in Isaiah 58, 11. It says, the Lord will guide you always. He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land.
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (28:45.156)
and he will strengthen your frame. Yeah, I'm I'm grabbing. I'm claiming that one right there. All the way. Strengthen your frame. yeah, but he will guide you always and you may not always notice it, feel it, but he's always there with you and and he will guide you along and and satisfy your needs in a son.
sun scorched land. And that's certainly what it feels like sometimes in the aftermath of losing someone that you love so much. that's right. Well, before we go, I want to say one thing that I feel is vitally important that we didn't touch on. And that is, and I've said this before in the podcast, that we have to realize that Satan is out to steal, kill and to destroy us.
and that he is looking, he prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. so, you know, mourning and grieving, think, is fine. It's part of what we go through. It's part of God holds us. He weeps with us. Our tears are precious. He's close to the brokenhearted. It's all that.
But we have to also be on guard. The Bible says to be aware, don't be ignorant of the enemy's devices. And it says to put on the whole armor of God that you may stand against the wiles of the devil, because he roams about. So in this process, you've got to begin to learn to discern what's good and what's evil. I mean, there was one time that I laid down, not laid down, but I was sitting in a chair and I thought,
tired. I just want to take a little nap. was shortly after Bo path. And right away my my mind just went to all the negative things like, my god, Charlie, you are a loser. Charlie, you let your son die. Charlie, you're you're devastated. You're never going to make it through this. You know, there's no way out. mean, and so but I took a stand and I said, No, I'm not going to think about this. I'm going to think about things that are good and perfect and lovely. As it says in Philippians, and I began to think about
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (30:59.588)
bow in heaven. And I just started getting kind of blessed about all seeing him running around in heaven and preparing a place, you know, helping us build a mansion and all this kind of just all kinds of fun stuff. But it helped me and I took a little nap and it was great. But I there are other times when I knew that oppression, there's a difference between depression and getting caught in your sadness. We run into people like that, that I mean,
Years later, they're still just, I don't know what happened. I don't understand. I don't know if I'm ever going to make it. Years later. And that, I believe, is a tool of the enemy, where the enemy is trying to keep you. And that's not grief and mourning. That's the enemy trying to cause you to go into depression and take your mind into areas of defeated, being totally defeated and having no way out. And that is not of God.
at all. Because Paul went through the worst, the hardest things. He lost people he loved all around him. And he was beaten and, you know, left for dead. And I mean, he just been through everything. But he said, in all these things, I am more than a conqueror. And so there is a place for us to take a stand with Jesus while we're mourning in a safe place with Jesus and crying.
but always letting Him embrace us at the end of it to keep us in a good, healthy place. There's a healthy way to mourn and to grieve is what I try to say. And there's a holy way to do it. There's in the presence of God, it's a holy healing moment when God is healing our broken hearts. So I just wanted to mention that in closing, that it just is.
an important aspect that we be not ignorant of the devil's devices while we're getting through these pain. Yeah. One step at a time. That's right. Amen. God is faithful. Yes. So God bless you guys. We sure love you and I pray for you. And we're releasing the peace of God and the comfort of God to you and in your life today and every day.
Charlie & Jill LeBlanc (33:22.135)
And we're standing with you as you walk this journey. And if you need any counsel or any help, please leave a message in the in the notes or comments and like our broadcast, share it with others that are hurting. I was talking to actually my doctor. I had a zoom meeting with my doctor yesterday to look at my blood work. And I told him we were getting ready to do a zoom tomorrow and podcast. And he said, what do you what do you do in podcast?
I told him and he goes, my gosh. He goes, I just had a mother come to see me. They just lost her son. He said, I think she could really use this podcast. said, well, I told him the name of it. So finding help with Charlie and Jill LeBlanc, Spotify, Apple music, YouTube, everywhere you could find it. So share it with others that are hurting. Okay. And don't forget to get our book and our other materials on our website, Charlie and Jill.com. All right. We love you. God bless you. We'll talk to you next Tuesday.