When Money Gets Involved

Holic sees the broken bottles, the lost horses, the state of his cart. Someone has to face him. While that plays out, Talim meets a wizard named Lorne Barnes who might identify the red talisman. Then the gem latches onto Beetle's hand and will not let go — and his mother and sisters appear around him asking, over and over, "is it funny."

Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

What is Rotgoons - Narrative Declaration?

By the Narrative Declaration TTRPG group: Four adventures try to make it big within the decrepit streets of Outset's Pawn Pilaster. Catch this comedic but grim dark Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG adventure and watch them all suffer!

all righty everyone are you ready for another exciting episode of
it's all those patrons thanks patrons for coming over and watching the show
thanks froggy for ruining it all oh thank you look at that amazing fan art you can do it
thanks everyone for listening to the podcast it's been a good time
but i'm ready for rot good are you ready are you prepared for this episode beetle
i'm ready for good again this is why you're the source of the wrong
no i'm not okay i was thinking about this the other night i was taking a little pee i was
sitting on my toilet you know how you have your best thoughts when you're in the shower or you're
peeing so i was peeing and i was like what if the source of the rot is zoran think about it the
rot is there even when i'm not there oh that's that's a really good try to try to deflect your
failures um that's gonna work here
what
how can i turn this on zorn
no i'm not turning
beetle lost both of uh both of those horses
remember that failure
it's like that one time it's like that one time when beetle found a cursed amulet and nobody else
uh found it and it was on beetle and you did that too wait a minute just like that one time
where beetle decided to uh to eat people you know what yeah i'm like frogs
what remember that time you got a graze kid dead
that wasn't me you're saying things that happened that i didn't have anything to do with
you know the reason why your toast falls down butter side or jam side down
it's beetle yeah
no you know why you know how like you lose a sock in the dryer it's beetle
you know you know you know who tangles up your headphones when you're not looking in your pocket
that's beetle you know you know how you gotta you know how you gotta pay taxes on everything
that's beetle don't go there don't even i'm walking off
i'm walking out i'm having a walk out
oh oh i'm leaving
well
all right we're looking for auditions for a new member we need a new cobalt little
another resident little guy chat what do you have
yeah hey i'm a resident little guy
oh no way
just on the spot you're available in here
not like the other campaigns
i'm available i'm here right now
yeah you don't just have to walk in just had to walk in look zorn in the eye
shake his hand sternly and ask for an application
yeah yeah
it's actually uh it's actually uh oh my god what's the
restriction it's actually instead of uh uh
oh my god
say the word
say the fucking word why am i having brain damage
what are you trying to say
oh my god
what are you trying to say over there
he's having he's having the day in
ramish column on the lid
it's okay you can just say it
early on set dimension
that's beetle
no no no no no
don't do this to me
no
zoran having a stroke live on stream
that's beetle
ever since my fever
i will come out there ever so often
i'll go uh hey i'm gonna i can't say the word
like it's been happening and it's really pissing me off
but regardless of things that don't piss me off
hi everybody
it's nice to see everyone here's another exciting episode of rock goons
and of course we have the amazing players who bring you this awesome and
hilarious and highly entertaining adventure
starting off with our ever lovely minerva
that's me
hello everybody my name is minerva aka party demon s
i'm a variety streamer and vtuber on twitch.tv
you can find me everywhere under that
and i uh play gray crocus the null ranger
nice nice next up we have our ever ethereal master
i will not say that
yeah master capital thank you
i was i was gonna go a terrible angle and had to stop myself
keep going
what were you gonna say
i do not want to say it on stream
oh my god
oh no
but yeah no i'm cabal
i'm a uh variety and horror streamer
also an artist and a voice actor
here on the terrifying petrifying purple platform of twitch.tv
and i play talim the ghost magus and local resident of uh
wait local
hold on
god damn it
now you did it to me
it's running
it's running
it's running
the brain rod continues
you're a magus
you're level four
yeah i'm level four
you're a ghost
you float
i do
congratulations
i also like money
you sure do buddy
i like it with the jeedles
i like it with my little bag of coins
you're starting to believe
and next up we have a mountainous thing of beauty
salty job
what
you skipping beetle
you heard me
okay cool
hello my name is salty job
i play the big boy on screen and in your ears
his name is hard
he's a monk i guess
and he um he flicks people on the forehead and their brain concaves
and i do i do funny art and if you are watching instead of just listening
you might see some of the funny art that i made
a lot of the funny he who art
and i am your resident game master and host for this episode
hey hey hey hey quiet down new guy
hey yeah shut up new guy you haven't got an intro yet we're waiting for you to figure it out
for those of you at home froggy has toggled on the dead animation on her model
oh yeah dear listeners i'm dead i'm dying actually
thank fucking god finally
this group would not be complete without our resident little guy beetle
aww thanks sorry
uh oh hello i'm i'm froggy lock i play beetle
the investigator kobold of level four just like all my other big guys
and i'm here to tell you right now you can't cure the rot by killing me
you can cure the rot by killing zorn
think about it think about it really think about it
zorn is there where is a zorn whatever there's right
it's zorn and zorn is there every time
every single day every campaign campaign
where there's right zorn who's there zorn
froggy froggy that's just ridiculous
yeah that's that's crazy talk that wouldn't exist in any way shape or form
it sounds like you've got rod brain
yeah yeah that's something infected by the rot would say
look look look zorn
you can't see it because my arms are stuck to my body
they're gorilla glued to my body but i'm pointing at zorn
i'm just pointing with your nose
how do i how do i flip myself hold on
hold on oh no you can't you see my spent my menus
oh no you can't okay hold on i'm gonna do it
on webcam you have to do mirror toggle there you go
oh thanks
no one on podcast will know what you're doing
you'll fuck up everything or the overlay but whatever
waiting for the bed waiting for it
i'm
this better be funny boys
thanks i'm flipping i'm flipping
okay there you go
you did it you flipped
okay i did it
yeah
and and and i'm here i'm here to say
where where were you when the rot was rotting
and and zorn zorn was there when you were there
you were at the campaign you were at rock ride
you were at rock roots and you
but you was rot groons
you saw zorn was there i'm pointing right at zorn
it's the cause of the rot it's not me
and that's why zorn skipped me in the lineup
zorn's trying to suppress me suppressing me
this is ableist this is this is
jeez okay
uh all right what other words were you just about to say
and had to put the brakes on
this is this is uh no i'm trying to think of other buzzwords
this is this is this is this is uh
just get a sign that says stop the rot and then i get topical
oh that's smart
hold on i'm opening photoshop right now
this is horrible radio
horrible podcast
yeah there's everyone listening on podcasts like in their car
or like walking to work or they're washing dishes or something
and he's like man i wish i could fucking see at some point
these fuckers don't care about his podcast people
like every fucking time we try to do anything
it's like it's all visual you know it's not like they stream on twitch first
at twitch.tv force that's narrative declaration
where they can you know come see us live
but no that's son of a bitch you know
won't even describe what the fuck's going on
oh i got her contacts clues of froggy screaming
which couldn't you honestly contact clues of froggy screaming could be anything
i can't believe that zoran is shaming our audio listeners right now
while also spreading the rot
i can't
you know where they can go to not be ashamed
hey zorn what's the twitch channel
at twitch.tv forward slash narrative declaration
you could just quit your job and just watch us full time
you know like the fantastic of fuck i'm saying it like
hey snoram what if they aren't subscribed to the twitch
where can they otherwise find a funny episode
conveniently watch the rest of the broccoli's adventures
at youtube.com forward slash narrative declaration
or at narrative declaration
i don't know what the fuck they're doing anymore
but they could do that and watch us beat the shit out of froggy
and have gray point a crossbow at her head
what
no
don't bring gray into this
no no no
hold on
i'm almost on my side
you want to shoot beat on the face don't you
come on
you saw that movie
i'll think about it
what
gray
you were on my side
i'm not i'm i don't want any part of this let's be real
i'm just here to watch the show
i'm almost on the side
speaking of tickets for uh and taking bets on who wins
i kind of want to wait to see the sign
i'm almost done
that is even worse podcasting to wait for a visual bit
yeah dude it's like wait for a visual bit
and wait everyone be silent as we kind of
as we waste all the podcast listeners
i'm like is my shit broke
all right three two one
everyone's just
that's so fucked up
i mean what's wrong with you
there's nothing wrong with people who like to listen to podcasts
there's nothing wrong with you
i am also a podcast enjoyer
stop being quiet
it's getting excited
okay this is my sign
wait i'll get really hyper meta specific
okay i am sorry to all
100 people
this is my sign
water marks
the ice thong water
okay for those of you who are just listening
which is hilariously part of this entire conversation
rocky has made a sign that says
zorn bad did the rot
it is a low resolution plank of wood
with uh eye stock water marks all over it
it looks like she wrote it with her hand too
like with a mouse
it even has artifacts
that are just like there
it's not the entire image isn't fully transparent
hey listen on top of of here to i'm here to promote you as a listener i'm here to defend your rights to use your ear holes and listen to audio and i'm also here to promote not stealing art uh not thieving art like ai i'm not an ai zorn might be because zorn is spreading the rot and you know what has the technology to spread the rot it's ai it's computers computers
i'm not a sign because i'm not a thief i credit my artists
way to be ableist against people who can't read the froggy
yeah fucked up
i would like to know there's a comment in chat that says this is actually a mess and i mean that affectionately
they must be brand new because this is this is every time baby
i have a
i have an image i kind of want to i want to bring up now that we're past the youtube time i could i could talk about this more
so i'm gonna the players could see my view on it another not compatible with podcast bit
but i found it really funny so in twitch there's there's usually an auto mod thing normally when people type in a message it'll like it'll it'll stop it and then a moderator can then uh permit the the term to go through because like oh the auto mod caught it wrong and so it should be fine
but i want to read this out loud um the person says this is gonna fuck me i want to listen to this later
take notes and i see madicus added gonna fuck me as a permitted term on auto mod
held a message for a reason
sex words level one
when do i get that spell
when do we unlock sex words
another one gonna fuck me as a permitted term on auto mod has been accepted
all right cam it's your turn you're the magus you got magic what do you do
i cast power word sex
okay
all right let's actually play the game at this point
good bits
all right
all right
all right wrap it up wrap it up
okay okay
we gotta be all
no it's all grimdark
it's grimdark now
it's grimdark now
we're in character now
no we gotta do the boring part of the show now
all right okay
welcome everyone
this is my favorite part
back to another excited
for fuck's sakes
madicus had his come as a permitted term on auto mod
stop
what level is that
what level of sex word is that
is that level one sex word
or is that level two sex word
power word goon
power word gooning
i'm screenshotting that one too
there we go
level 69 sex word
what's
chat fuckers stop
when are we gonna get the uh
the spell book of sex word supplement
it's the
it's the pages of many positions
wrap it up all right it's good to go
have a good one everybody i'll see you later
make sure when you count your sex words to wrap it up
this is the show by the way
we don't i don't actually play a pathfinder second edition
we actually just talk like this the entire time
we just goof the fuck off and sometimes we're like
okay we have to show that we're actually playing a game
everyone roll a dice
my lungs hurt
oh okay okay wait wait wait
let me let let me let me do this
let me do let me roll the most powerful of all the dice
me too
there's gonna be meetings at paiza on monday i'm not even part of the company anymore
they can't tell me to do shit
i got a natural four
nice
by the way chat this is why you should be here
live on stream so you can witness this kind of stuff
this might get edited out who the heck knows
i can't believe you guys are podcast haters
what could what could happen in a paiza meeting is that they could just bring therkson in and set them down is like your affiliation with the uh streamer zoran our previous employee um is hurting the company and you can no longer uh be affiliated with that individual
that is that is that is that is that is when froggy steps in and goes actually it is improving the images of the company hear me out
i made a spreadsheet
okay let's seriously play the game so welcome back everyone
to rock goons
i will ask
who remembers what happened last session
and there's some hero points for people
who do
i've already done it
so i did it last time
this uh i'm going to do
a full disclaimer this is a team effort
because salty came to my dms is like hey men
what if you did a funny he who
where you did voice acting
of the last uh
the last thing as a summary
and i was like well
i could do that can you like help me figure out
how i would format that how to write that down
this is a team effort
yeah too bad that last episode was just exposition and role-playing
yeah
good luck
oh i have to get out my giggles because like that was just ridiculous
you he who's
my he who's
when whenever we get like going being goofy it just it sticks and it won't go away
it's hard that's that's a okay
at least you're not talking about milves
shut the fuck up
god damn it
she got ready she got prepared
for a line
she was ready
you ruined it
okay editor
cut cut
this is the moment where the actual episode starts
all right
you can start
right now
cut everything before this point
after traveling out into the riot swept streets of outset
the team finds themselves successful at retrieving hulks cart of goods
but it was halted by heart
and only way heart knows how
by overwhelming force
the cart crashed and was abandoned by the horses
leaving the goons to pick up the wreckage for themselves
files were broken be it before or after the crash
but hulks beloved flower was at least kept intact
by the masterful guidance of beetle's improvisational
improvisational i can't read
repair
talim's ghostly help and grace quick wit not her reading skills uh three of the four
raccoons fixed up the crash cart heart who felt responsible for the crash went off to find something to recover a corpse of the two crooks that had stolen the cart
if beetle had gotten his little hands on one of the corpses he could probably figure out why the robbers were there and who hired them
while the big boy found one body
he was shunned away by a mob of looting locals led by an angry old woman who kind of looked like a gremlin
returning to the cart heart was comforted by his kind friends and gray promised to take care of it if anyone would be in their way
unfortunately she didn't get to do that
after some remarks of possible looting from talim the raccoon set off in the repaired wagon
talim and gray were on lookout duty
beetle patched up the group and heart pulled the entire thing along
on their way back home taking a short break heart presents the team with a small carved shard of his clay skin
and asks for everyone to put a little bit of themselves into it so they can all be with him
supposedly heart's father had told him that his people can give things meaning and this was heart's intent to do so
while both gray and beetle agreed to do it without much press
talim identified it as a magical item and might have questioned it but yet he did partake in the ritual
having jogged after the team for the last hour
bear in the delver and his canine companion nugget meets up with the team
beetle inquisitively asks heart which part of the world he came from
in turn the team learned that both talim and heart come from places
come from southern desert island of kanshir
a place filled with magic and oddities
and a lot of sand
beetle tells the story in turn about how his mother and many sisters started working in the great
outset libraries after his father had passed on
baron and nugget started bawling
and beetle praised everyone for letting him have his opportunity to earn money to help his family
it was very cute
cute discussions continue including some funny jokes from
gray and talim
i don't remember that bit
going back on the road the raccoons run into the same mob that bullied heart
after the first notice that things were less than civil
both gray and talim were both quick on the trigger to attack the locals
as heart just kept pulling the cart
trying not to you know cry
we're getting away from them
anyway getting away from the mob
beetle casually mentions that the reason why he looks different from other kobolds
is because he fell into the taffy puller
and baron tells the horrific story of the serial killer that goes by the same name
a creature that stretches the skin off of your living body
wears it as clothes and fries it in your own fat
after this horrible tale
baron also tells the raccoons about his profession
delving
the group especially talim
who seem to have some knowledge of the subject
seem to have a piqued interest in the promise of treasure
by delving into the ruins beneath the city
last but not least
the dwarven man told the raccoons
some details on the people they had already met
including how a certain crocodile man
runs a lot of operations
and how the mamas might turn people into frogs
and serve them as food
ahem
finally coming
thank you
finally
coming back at the fishery
beetle and heart are forced to confront hollick
about the state of the cart
and the loss of his beloved horses
whom he raised all by himself
talim and grace spoke with lorne barnes
a wizard of whom may aid them in their work
goals were spoken of
like going to help brug
finding the lost blacksmith
and to bring the red colored talisman to the elmas
or to barnes
to figure out just exactly what it is
the final moment is from beetle's perspective
a red gem is placed over heart's face
a horrifying echo of his sisters and his mother
being clowns
asking him
is it funny
is it funny
is it funny
over and over again
the horrifying illusion drives beetle
to run away back into the fishery
everyone is worried about him
talisman
its red gem
is stuck to beetle's hand
trying to bite and tug at it
tear it away
and nothing works
it disappears and reappears
on beetle's person over and over again
until it is rendered
into a stressful little kobold shaped puddle
in the kitchen
and that is where we left off
that was so good
absolutely banger
now everyone has gotten hero points for me
i stumbled a little bit
but
no it was so good
you remembered things that i didn't even remember
and i write down a little blurb
because i want to jump on those hero points
so i had my own blurb prepared
there's a reason why i said it was a team effort
because uh
because uh
salty helped me
put it all down
i'm trying to say anything
now i'm sorry
who all contributed
i didn't help at all
don't give me no
it was just me
i didn't help
i didn't help
okay so gray
you're now at full hero points
up to three
because i'm going to give you one
and salty
i'm going to give you one
wait i take it back
i helped a lot
no i'm just kidding
i'm just kidding
where's mine
i'm just kidding
that's true
but
a thing that we're going to start off with
is
beetle
you're currently in the kitchen
as i
let me switch the scene over
so you can
everyone can see all the
lovely bits going on
beetle you're currently in the kitchen
things are freaked out
you currently are seeing
some of your siblings
kind of in your mind
but currently the kitchen is fine
currently they've all
all the visions from last episode
everything just
succeeded
and you don't see
the red glowing
talisman
anymore
this is a kitchen
yes
can i find
a big meat cleaver
absolutely
i would love to find
a big ol
meat cleaver
and i would love to give myself
a once over
like a bodily once over
you know like i bite my leg
and lift it
so i can look at my own ass
and stuff like that
yeah go ahead and uh
go ahead and you know
move in a little bit
where you would like to
find one
i see a little knife
by the cinema rolls
so i'll assume
there's like a cleaver
in this area
that feels like the cleaver spot
yeah
so
as you kind of are
walking up there
start to notice something
a little bit more weird
same weird things
begin to happen
no
as you're kind of going in
for the cleaver
you see it's gone
and you see that there's
another clawed
scaly hand
and it grabs onto the handle
and it gives the lift up
and as you look up
beetle
you see
that it's your mom
what
you say that's your mom
going it's like
pass me some of the
celery sticks there
come on
and you hear just
chopping away
just chopping away
oh i'm making you
one of your favorite soups
you know
human fingers
for scallops
no i don't eat people
i've never eaten people
especially those frogs
that were people
wait you're not my mom
you're not real
i mean i remember
all of your birthdays
i remember how disappointed
you were
that i ever attended them
and then just shoves
more uh
some of the cuttings
into like a bowl
near the stove
over there
you see that she's
walking around
and she
and you see
she'll um
they'll kind of like
bend down to you
and i thought
well you do need
to find him
don't you sweetheart
what are you talking about
you need to find him
sweetheart
who are you
you need to find him
you need to find him
sweetheart
or else it won't be whole
what are you talking about
you need to find him
sweetheart
that's what you have to do
just find him
stop talking to me
through my mom
i don't know what you are
or who you are
give me that cleaver
give me it
give me it
i'll try to grab the cleaver
make me uh
make me a thievery chick
okay
yeah
it feels like
you're not tricking me
you're not my mom
you're so weird
i got a 19
for my thievery check
no
that's an excellent roll
as you
you see that your mom
will continue to come up
to you lifting up
the cleaver going
you have to find them beetle
you have to
you have to find the blacksmith
and make it whole
just make it whole
you see the cleaver
and she comes up
comes out to bring it down
she misses you
right down the side
of the cupboard
but you're able to quickly
like knock her hand away
and grab it back
but as soon as you turn around
you see that she's not there anymore
and you're alone
once more
beetle stands
trembling in the kitchen
he's got the knife
pointed in the empty space
that was once occupied
by this
devil version
of his mother
and he's just
terrified
beetle's gonna back up
so his
his back is to the counter
and he's gonna kind of
sidle along it
towards the
the kitchen's exit
and
if he's able
I
I'm
just going to
open the door
and
and run out of the kitchen
with the cleaver still
awesome
okay
so as
as you're
bursting through
feel free
kind of like
in a minute here
just kind of
interrupt everyone
but for everyone else
you guys are still
sitting there
with Mr.
Lorne
Barnes
the old
wizened wizard
that you guys have been
talking to
I think you guys
wanted to get some
clarification on
some things
before you
accepted his
his task
for you all
to basically go
check out some
ruins
correct
we were
previously
we've been
asking him
exactly what
he was
looking for
and
after
he gave us
a description
of it
and
you know
kind of what
the job
entailed
it was
the
thing was
we had
we had
to go
talk
to
the
Elmas
to see
if we
had
time
to do
this
before
the
festival
happened
and we
had
to
you know
like
work
security
but also
the
food cart
to each
get our
hundred
gold
yeah
awesome
that was
that's what
we were going
to do
we were going
to show
ask the
Elmas
the time
frame
you'll see
Laurel
kind of lean
back a bit
taking his
like kind
of tank
a drink
he's like
well
nah
be here
and he'll
take a sip
and let you
guys
do your
thing
and at
this point
you see
beetle
burst forth
and he
comes
sprinting
across the
floor
and he's
screaming
he's going
it's like
a race car
going by
as he
comes
running up
to the
table
and he's
still got
the cleaver
and he
stops
like
sponge
gar
like if
you see
that meme
where he's
spread
he's just
the feet
are apart
the arms
are apart
he's like
guys
Baleem kind
of like
drifts away
next to
barns
seeing like
beetle
hands
the cleaver
he's like
ah
buddy
I was
worried
guys
where's
the rock
you know
the red
rock
oh yeah
we were
supposed to
show it
yeah
do you
have
it
look at
my back
look at
my pack
so do you
have it
everyone
who's looking
for it
roll a
perception
check
yeah
dude
and while
people are
looking
beetle just
starts rattling
off
he's like
I think
it was
talking to
me
and it
knew
things
about
me
that
it
should
know
like
that I
ate
the
frog
or
well
actually
it could
have
known
that
because
I
think
I
ate
the
frog
but
we
had
it
but
then
also
it
knew
that
my
mom
could
never
make
it
to
my
birthday
parties
because
she
was
always
working
he's just
going off
it's a lot
to unpack
I
I don't
have
it
but
it's
fine
heart
picks
up
beetle
and
puts
him
on
his
knee
you
don't
grab
go ahead
oh
beetle
grabs
heart
by
he's not
wearing
a shirt
so he
grabs
him
by
his
big
necklace
like
like
how you
grab
somebody
by
their
collar
and he
tries
to
shake
heart
but he
just
ends
up
shaking
himself
because
heart
doesn't
move
and
feels
like
it
was
talking
to
me
it
chased
me
into
the
kitchen
and
it
looked
like
my
mom
and
it
was
just
talking
to
me
and
it
knows
things
about
me
and
I
we have
to
cut
it
off
if it's
on
any
of you
we have
to
cut
it
off
we have
to
cut
it
off
and
he's
pointing
the
cleaver
at
everybody
we can
cut it
off
buddy
but it
ain't
on me
Greg
you
notice
the
talisman
as you're
looking
for
and
stuff
you
kind
of
like
move
your
robe
a bit
and
you
see
it
kind
of
like
at
the
on
your
forearm
just
kind
of
wrapped
around
like
a
kind
of
kind
of
like
a
bracer
in a
way
she
lifts
up
her
arm
she's
like
oh
when
did
that
get
there
beetle
hops
up
onto
the
table
and
he's
like
holding
the
cleaver
back
like
he's
gonna
swing
and
he's
like
we
have
to
get
it
off
I'll
get
it
off
you
whoa
whoa
whoa
whoa
whoa
whoa
gray
immediately
like
backs
away
there's
there's
no need
for that
you don't
understand
she
she takes
her like
her hand
she like
tries to
like
unwrap
it
from
her
forearm
I'm
helping
you
I'm
helping
you
hold
still
beetle
calm
Lauren
leads
over
to you
to
lay
me
going
you
adventure
with
these
people
to lean
like
leans
over
it's
just
like
well
it's
a bit
easier
when you
don't
have
to
deal
with
you
know
being
alive
ah
even
in
death
you
still
suffer
I
get
it
calm
down
beetle
yeah
you see
Lauren
enjoying
the
show
beetles
kind
of
doing
like
this
awkward
crab
dance
on
the
table
where
he's
swinging
the
cleaver
but
not
committing
to
swinging
the
cleaver
because
he
doesn't
want
to
swing
at
grey
but
he's
like
heart
puts
his
entire
hand
and
just
body
blocks
beetle
with
one
hand
is
gri
able
to
unwrap
it
from
her
arm
you
do
so
and
you
see
it's
kind
of
like
like
instead
of
being
all
weird
you
you're
able
to
unclasp
it
just
fine
and
you're
able
to
just
hold
it
inside
you
hold
it
in
your
hand
see
right
here
came
right
off
no need
for the
knife
put it
down
but
does
does
like
does
beetles
like
grip
loosen
on
the
cleaver
oh
yeah
sure
okay
to
lean
just
kind
of
like
raises
a
hand
and
he'll
like
gently
mage
hand
the
cleaver
out
of
beetle's
grasp
and
like
goes
and
like
sets
it
behind
him
on
that
school
which
is
like
I
think
we
can
flip
these
away
but
it
wouldn't
come
off
of
me
when
it
was
on
me
and
it's
gonna
learn
things
about
you
you
gotta
here
don't
put it
on the
table
don't
touch
it
it's
gonna
go
inside
you
it's
gonna
know
things
about
you
put it
on the
table
put it
on the
table
put it
down
stop
touching
it
great
kind of
just
like
stares
slowly
quietly
puts it
down
on the
table
go get
them
it's too
late
for that
go get
them
beetle
starts
licking
the
tears
off
his
eyes
like
a
lizard
buddy
buddy
buddy
heart
pours
a cup
of
wine
for
beetle
and puts
it
down
on
onto
the
table
here
for
your
nerves
and then
he
stands
up
and
goes
over
to
the
elmas
beetle
sits
down
and he
starts
trying to
calm
himself
and he's
drinking
the
wine
heart
you head
over
to the
elmas
you see
both of
them
at the
bar
they're
cleaning
up
any
messes
and
generally
cleaning
up
tankards
and
stuff
and
you
see
that
helma
will
turn
over
to
you
holding
a
frog
and
go
oh
yes
do it
frogs
oh
yeah
frogs
he laughs
a bit
to
himself
i
like
those
um
do
do
any
like
one of
you
mind
coming
over
like
we
have
a
thing
that
i
think
that
at
least
one
of
you
should
take
a
look
at
maybe
both
if
you
have
time
don't
want
to
bother
you
or
anything
but
this
might
be
really
important
oh
if
it's
so
just
bring
it
over
here
sweetheart
i mean
we're
trying
to
you know
trying
to get
everything
nice
spick and
span
you know
several
visitors
have
been
you know
awfully
dirty
isn't
right
there
but
yeah
fuck
them
and
so
there's
like
and
so
you'll
and
so
you'll
just
bring
it
over
hi
heart
returns
you hear
a
cleaver
that she
was holding
as you're
leaving
yeah
heart
returns
picks up
beetle
carries
him in
one hand
we're
going over
to the
bar
they wanted
us to
go there
to them
all right
mr
barnes
heart
nods
and
carries
away
his
buddy
bring
the
ambulance
but
don't
touch
it
pick
up
with
the
cleaver
it
will
flourish
a little
ballot
barnes
was like
we'll
continue
our
business
talks
at
a
later
time
and
he'll
like
mage
hand
the
amulet
and
like
drift
towards
the
bar
he'll
kind
of
like
take
a
he'll
kind
of
grab
his
hat
tip
it
over
to
you
and
then
you'll
see
he'll
just
take
out
a
pipe
and
just
start
puffing
shoving
popcorn
shoving
popcorn
in
the
pipe
it
starts
popping
a
corn
cup
pipe
of
infinite
popcorn
there you
go
there's a new
magic item
let's go
you guys
have
all
head
over
to
the
bar
road
where
Thelma
and
Helma
are
just
cleaning
up
things
or so
and
they
kind
of
notice
you
all
kind
of
attend
to
it
and
you
see
Thelma
will
come
up
to
you
guys
like
right
kids
what
is
it
what's
got
you
so
spooked
and
why
are
you
screaming
all
over
the
place
and
Thelma
will
point
to
you
Beetle
it
was
my
mom
and
it
talks
about
my
birthday
Thelma
would
like
wave
a hand
towards
me
and
it
was
like
anyways
we
seemed
to have
come
across
some
sort
of
artifact
I
was
not
able
to
identify
it
myself
but
I
had
hoped
that
in
your
experience
you
may
have
the
knowledge
to
cast
some
light
on
its
mysterious
nature
and
he'll
like
float
the
amulet
onto
the
bar
and
kind
of
like
let
it
rest
there
and
just
fold
his
hands
and lean
back
you'll
see
Thelma
and
Helma
just
kind
of
going
hmm
kind
of
out
they're
scratching
their
chins
and
stuff
and
they're
looking
around
at
it
you'll
see
that
Helma
goes
oh
well
it's
a
pretty
little
thing
and she
begins
to bring
her hand
up to
it
and she
goes
quickly
brings
it
back
and she
goes
don't
touch
no
sweetheart
we must
not
we must
not
touch
this
and
he's
like
why
is
oh
and
you'll
see
they'll
both
kind
of
look
at
the
thing
themselves
and
Delma
goes
that
thing
seems
to be
cursed
I knew
it
I knew
it
it's
like
I'm
sorry
sweetheart
it's
just
we
can't
help
you
in
this
one
and
you'll
see
that
Delma
will
take
her
cleaver
or
take
the
cleaver
in
still
with
fresh
frog
blood
but
she'll
push
it
back
to
all
of
you
and
she'll
go
we're
not
quite
sure
what
this
thing
is
but
it
does
seem
to
be
something
that
you
should
be
worried
about
tell us
what
has
it
been
doing
well
it
has
been
teleporting
between
who
was
holding
it
it
spooked
beetle
apparently
case of
point
motions
to
beetle
make it
whole
make it
whole
he's
rocking
back and
forth
make it
whole
yeah
i don't
want to
turn
into
mickey
mouse
there
to
lean
will
also
go
as
far
as
any
of
its
properties
and
he
will
reach
down
and
actually
pick
it
up
and
hold
it
and
roll
it
between
his
fingers
like
hmm
they're
quickly
looking at
they're
looking
all
around
this
from
your
impression
they seem
very
very
curious
about
this
item
but
you
also
could
just
tell
even
behind
Thelma's
sunglasses
that she
has
you can
just
tell
they're
a bit
like
this
shit's
bad
they're
not
happy
that
this
thing
is
in
their
establishment
and
but
they
they
really
just
go
unfortunately
dearie
we
don't
know
what
it
is
but
we
can
keep
an
ear
out
and
see
if
we
can
find
something
out
in
some
of
our
records
yeah
we
kind
of
need
connect
knickknacks
here
and there
to
kind
of
help
keep
the
tavern
and
stuff
safe
but
you know
something
might have
crossed
the books
or something
at some
point
we'll
keep
an eye
and ear
out
for
you
it
has
done
three
things
so
far
that
I
can
collect
it
has
transported
itself
between
that's
the word
that
Taline
told me
about
it's
moving
from
from
each
one
of us
and
hard
points
at
the
four
of
them
it
appears
on
any
one
of
us
at
random
points
in
time
and
even
if
we
try
to
get
rid
of
it
or
if
we
want
it
to
appear
it
might
not
it
might
be
somewhere
else
entirely
but it
is
shared
between
the
four
of
us
that's
number
one
number
two
is
that
it
has
if
you
saw
your
mom
and he
points
down
at
beetle
but it
wasn't
my mom
it
wasn't
my mom
my mom
yeah
yeah
yeah
I
saw
my
father
wait
did
your dad
tell you
to make
something
whole
he
told me
to seek
out
the
blacksmith
my mom
told me
to do
the same
thing
but my
mom
was
pointing a
knife at
me
and saying
make it
whole
make him
whole
I
think
we
should
do
the
opposite
of
what
this
stone
is
telling
us
so
if
we
find
the
blacksmith
maybe
we
can
and he
happens
to be
in two
different
parts
like
hypothetically
if we
find
the
blacksmith
and his
arms
and his
legs
are
separated
from him
instead
of making
him
whole
we
should
keep
him
separate
because
if
this
is
like
a
bad
thing
we
probably
shouldn't
be
doing
what
it's
telling
us
to
do
but
also
I
feel
terrible
for
the
blacksmith
so
we
should
go
save
him
but
not
make
him
whole
like
lean
back
and
it's
like
I
don't
think
that
is
what
it
means
obviously
I
think
that
points
this
to
this
being
something
as
a
piece
of
something
greater
maybe
it's
the only
way
it
can
communicate
by
being
terrible
maybe
curses
are
a
dark
and
mysterious
thing
beetle
they
also
suck
yeah
they're
a
real
bummer
oh
yeah
oh
yeah
and
the
third
thing
is
that
it
was
clean
even
though
it
had
been
in
a
sewer
yeah
yeah
see
that's
wrong
there's
something
wrong
about
it
it's
not
good
it's
wrong
it's
like
well
we'll
do our
very
best
to see
if we
can
find
something
to
get
rid
of
that
thing
for
you
where'd
you
find
it
sure
we
were
going
to
initially
talk
to
hollick
when we
encountered
hollick
in the
sewers
we were
seeking
bits
for
the
festival
cuisine
we
found
it
among
the
belongings
of
a
what
was
it
called
big
boy
yeah
charles
charles
his name
was
charles
large
i'm not
helping you
on this
one you
gotta
remember
we
bartered
with
charles
and
charles
with a
very
large
mouth
and
three
tentacles
charles
don't
call him
don't
call him
trash
man
no he's
not
trash
he's
charles
he literally
survives
in sewage
he likes
but
it's
charles
man
don't
reduce
him to
trash
he's
charles
charles
monster
but we
bartered
with him
we
we made
some things
for him
and he
gave us
this shiny
gem
as well
as some
of the
food
that
we got
for the
festival
unspoiled
that is
and
supposedly
he was
not touched
by this
so far
from what
we know
yeah he
didn't talk
about it
he just
talked about
his lady
friend
i wonder
if they
got married
oh
i we'd
get invited
to the
wedding i
think
they're
probably
still like
you know
court
now you
get to put
in your
head of
how uh
how
audia
get a
shambling
mounds
getting it
a dance
it's a
dance
so
anyways
talim
talim
goes to
like
put it
into
like one
of his
the various
pouches
on his
belt
to like
get it
off the
counter
since it
obviously
makes the
uh
it obviously
makes the
elmas
uncomfortable
and he uh
he kind of
leans forward
and is like
but yes
that's where
we found
it
we found
it in
the sewers
amongst
the ruins
uh
i'm sure
many things
are found
there but
this one
seems to
be
exceptionally
bad
to your
reaction
yeah i
i wish
you luck
on it but
we can
find any
anything to
help we'll
do our
best to
try to
help you
out
if you
find anybody
you find
anybody else
you can help
you a little bit
earlier i
recommend you
take the
chance
something that's
that potent
of a curse
and she points
to your
pouch
is something
you want
gone as
soon as
possible
well we
appreciate your
help all the
same
speaking of
help though
the job that
we are currently
doing for you
what is the
timeline that
we have going
forward uh
we've inquired
about maybe
some additional
work for mr
barnes uh
while the
festival draws
closer
you have oh
guys you'll
look at one of
the flyers uh
that has come
out and
you'll see
that as a
huge
presentation
it's like
welcoming
welcoming
kernanad
or kernanad
um
like head
of the
conservants
and you'll
see uh
she'll kind
of like
turn
like she'll
kind of
like put
the piece
of paper
down onto
the bar
itself
and you'll
see that
as an
individual
who looks
sort of
like to
you it
would be
it would
be kind
of like
robotic
but it's
not true
um
you look
more as
less mechanical
and a little
bit more
magical
kind of like
organic
crystal
in its
weird way
he has a
uh
kind of like a
face like a
rounded like
not really like a
round face
we're kind of in the
in the structure of a
face but not
completely but
featureless and
you'll see the
drawing and stuff in
the illustration is
that of him in
very fine robes
he's holding a
very long staff
and there's no
face but just
crystal
um
but the drawing
and stuff and
sketching tries
its best to
portray that
and
you'll see
that he is
like head of
something of the
of something of
the conservants
that it kind of
details a bit
more in the
flyer that the
head of the
conservants will
bring blessings
to all who
attend the
parade in the
queen's
pilaster
all are welcome
to revere his
reverence as he
arrives in
outset ally
like ally to
all and you'll
see that it'll
be a parade that
will happen in
two weeks
hey can i see
that flyer
yeah sure here
they're posted
everywhere now
and you'll see
she'll scoot it
over to you
it'll snatches it
and pulls it up
to his eyes so
his snout is at
a 90 degree angle
pointing downwards
and he's like
guys this is it
and he pulls the
paper away and his
snout twangs and
he looks at the
party he's like
this guy could
get rid of our
curse
i'm not so
sure of that
and he also
looks like someone
that is for
lack of a better
term far above
our station
what is it he
says right here
he's an ally to
all we could just
probably walk right
up and ask him
to free us from
our curse
beetle that is
flowery language
specifically for
advertising
you're very versed
in politics are
you
you'll see
helm will kind
of interject
and go like
if anyone was
going to help
you out with
your curse
it would
definitely be
him
yeah the
heliconservants
i heard was
very powerful
i wouldn't even
know if it's
bad person
he's the
heliconservants
over at
durn
he's the one
who's kind of
been coming
out of that
big airship
that just
landed itself
outside of
outset
so
if anyone's
going to be
able to have
the stokes
to do it
probably be
that guy
is he in
the airship
right now
i don't know
i don't know
where he's at
all the time
what do you
think i am
beetle looks at
everybody
we should save
the blacksmith
and then we
should break
it to that
airship
i am normally
one who does
not shy away
from criminal
activity
perhaps that
is not the
best course
no we
wouldn't get
caught we
would sneak
in and then
we would find
the guy and
we'd be like
hey it says
right here
they're your
friends to
everybody and
he can't back
out because
it's right here
it's legalese
it's in writing
it's printed
you see that
he's gotta he's
gotta follow up
and he'll he'll
he'll save us
from our curse
i don't
that's a way
to wind up
in the hands
of the tyrant
skilled
no he's
with the
confetti
if you want
a way to meet
him i heard
usually every
so often
many many years
when he comes
through here
he usually does
sort of like a
meet and greet
with folks
the lines are
very long
you'll probably
be in queue
for days
but normally
he tries to
give blessings
where he can
so if you
want to meet
curtain hand
that's probably
going to be
your best bet
can i ask
a question
yes
this blacksmith
guy that
we that we
were told to
find but also
that you
told us to
find
his house
was very
big
and his
things were
very big
is he
compensating
or is he
very big
you imagine
he's very
big
okay
i'm sorry
there must have
been a fucking
bit you were
trying and it
just went over
my head
no no
heart is asking
this same
character
oh i'm sorry
i thought you're
asking out a
character
she goes like
oh yeah he's a
really big fella
he really kind of
helped out with the
construction of the
tavern many years
ago
is he big
big enough
that he
stands out
wherever he
is
he would
probably
burst through
the second
story if he
stood up
all right
so you
would say
that he
needs to be
kept somewhere
if he is to
be kidnapped
by people
he would be
stored
somewhere
where he
can't be
noticed
right
it looks
over beetle
well known
detail finder
well we
already know
that crocs
people took
them right
right
so and
from mr
barnes he
told us that
crocs people
might already
be doing
things in that
ruin thing
beneath the
ground
are they
are they
storing the
guy
why don't we
just ask
i have an
idea
mr barnes
said that
these
locks
or whatever
that he
was looking
for extremely
complicated
in the
entryways
or the
where the
keys are
stored are
more than
likely heavily
guarded as
well
would not
an expert
craftsman
also be
skilled in
disassembling
oh yeah
you would
know
the ladies
kind of look
at each other
going we
we wouldn't
know that
i don't know
why you're
asking us
no no i
know no
talim was
like looking
between like
the uh the
the the other
three and
he's like i
had an epiphany
um yeah
yeah my
head is
transparent but
it's not
empty so
what so
maybe they
are using
him to
open the
locks
it's a
lead at
least so
our two
goals were
not actually
two goals
it's the
same
damn i'm
smart
but anyways
we have
two weeks
until the
festival
yeah
that's
more than
enough time
to go down
there we
got what we
needed initially
and look at
the elmas and
be like so
if this is
right and
this is where
the blacksmith
is stored
do you think
two weeks
would be enough
time would
you need our
assistance with
anything else
before we were
to leave on
this job and
hopefully locate
our very large
friend
now you
should be
pretty good
to go
all right
let's go
and then
we'll break
into the
airship
i know
that plan
will need
to be
worked on
we could
just go
to the
meet and
greet
but i
don't want
to stand
in line
for days
i will stand
in the line
oh okay
i enjoy
that your
voice sometimes
gets very
close to
going oh
bye everybody
i only hope
i can go
and break
to that
airship
boys
i hurt
i hurt
my throat
really bad
i hurt
my throat
really bad
streaming
the other
day
so i'm
like trying
not to
go too
crazy
with it
but that's
just making
me lead
into mickey
territory
in the future
beetle founded
the beetle
bold
initiative
with the
beetle
bold
you know
because it's
beetle the
kobold
but it's
beetle
bold
it's like
mickey
man
oh boy
everybody
we're gonna
totally go
dmca that
airship
oh boy
we're gonna
do a
p&e
all right
so you guys
talked to the
talk to the
elmas and
they basically
say this
thing's cursed
you're basically
gonna be on your
own for a while
they'll look up
what they can
but they
can't solve
your issue
right now
let's go
get that
blacksmith
yeah but
you have
plenty of
time to
take on
lauren's
task
yeah
hear me
out though
what if
we get
some food
first
we don't have
time for that
we can pick up
some street food
on the way
there
you can also
probably
you know
soon at the
mention of
street food
helma comes
up to you
beetle
leans over
going you
think that
street food
is a lot
better than
the elmas
dining
is that
right
mr people
what no
i'm saying
we don't have
time to sit
down and have
a meal so
we can just
grab some
crustaceans
from a cart
and have a
little crunch
on our way
down
you don't
think we
serve anything
that would
benefit travelers
on the go
i don't know
can i have
some frog
oh absolutely
dear and
she bring
and she
kind of
goes back
into the
kitchen
and goes
how many
would you
like
how many
got
to lean
will actually
like sit
up he'll put
a finger up
he's like
while you
all are
eating i
will go
and talk
to lauren
all right
who's lauren
or not
lauren
lauren
i've had
people i've
had to play
fucking lauren
and like a bunch
of other role
plays or whatever
and people
come out
hey lauren
i'm like i'm
not
wait did i
did i say
wait no i said
lauren
you said lauren
you said lauren
okay
lauren
lauren
lauren
laura
i'll go talk to
laura
wow
you guys enjoy
your snacks
i'm going to
talk to lauren
i'm going to
ask for the next
pta meeting
is
hey girl
would anybody
else like to
get food
yeah i'll get
food too
hark will go
and uh
do as much
helping in the
kitchen as he
can
beetle asks for
a fish because
he's terrified
as soon as uh
as soon as you
get to the door
you see the helmet
goes
close the door
denied
looks back at
gray
am i
gray shrugs
gray shrugs
shaking your
head
no
i think she
just likes to
work on her
own
hi
i'd like
that
uh-uh
he was not
expecting that
i just
imagine
i just
because he's
terrified of
little old
ladies
she's like
uh-uh
and he's
just like
oh
he leans
back
eyes get
really wide
color drains
from his
face
mid walk
stops
foot is
still in
there
you ever
see like a
seven foot
man just
turn on a
dime
gray reaches
over she
just like
pats
pats heart
on his
shoulder
just there
there it's
okay
how much
how much
food do we
need for
two weeks
like i
pick up
quite an
appetite
while like
you know
fighting things
but maybe i
can eat
then
well i don't
know if we'll
be down there
for two weeks
yeah
you both
almost were
in sync
same brain
cell
we finish
each other's
sentences
we both lean
to look around
heart at each
other our eyes
are glittering
as you
guys are
figuring out
what's going
on for the
food situation
there and
reactions and
stuff tell him
uh you head
over and i
guess glide
into the chair
next to lauren
and lauren will
kind of lean
back over and
go got your
stuff figured
out ghost
man
so it seems
that we have
two weeks in
which we will
have to complete
the mission but
it also lines up
with other
objectives that
uh we are
looking to
accomplish due
to the nature
of the
individuals that
seem to be
guarding what
you're looking
for
ah yes
indeed
and the
the points
what i have
for the ruins
are mostly
just taming
with crox
gang members
i i recommend
when you do
get there
and the last
time i was
able to scout
it out
that um
stealth is
going to be
very prevalent
here
oh we're
fucked
like he'll
like run
a hand like
over the
the veil that
covers the
lower half of
the space
and he'll like
look back at
his party
it's like well
i am more
than capable of
that due to
previous enterprises
during my time as
a member of the
living my
compatriots
however i'm
sure i'll be
able to figure
out something
i heard you
you're talking
shit over there
leave just like
he just like
lifts a hand up
and just like
waves back at
them but
anyways
it's like stealth
is more than
likely the
best course of
action um
do you know
of anything else
that is in the
region that
perhaps we should
look out for
besides crocs
henchmen
well it's either
them it's either
the crocs gang
there and also
the tyrants
guild which
has been very
active here in
the pond's
pilaster
um if you've
heard the news
one of the
martinettes was
recently murdered
so there is a
as you kind of
notice you'll
he'll kind of
point over near
the door where
there's a notice
board um
kind of like
near where the
bear's head is
here on the
map and you'll
see the all
the bounty
posters of
all the um
pretty much
all the
of all the
guys who
pretty much
were assumed
to kill
the martinettes
and uh
you'll kind
of point to
them going
there's a
big manhunt
looking for
them
currently it's
dying down
they're not
finding anything
we've
i think
last i've
been able
to see
rumors
they might
have skipped
down but
they're still
on a high
alert for
any more
dangers
so and
they're
willing to
just kill
and beat
up whoever's
in opposition
so i would
be very
careful
of course
hmm
well i suppose
that uh
we'll have to
do a little
bit of
preparation
but we
should
leave shortly
if you have
any more
information
perhaps a
map or
you know
a sketch
of course
the particular
item
and so
show your
map i'll
give you a
waypoint
and so
he'll uh
he'll kind of
sketch up
pops up
instructions
you'll get
some instructions
and does
anyone have
a map
actually
i don't
think anyone
ever bought
a map
i have a
map i just
can't remember
who has it
i have an
old map of
a strange
looking dungeon
of that you
haven't found
anything similar
to it yet
but um
it's right
there it's
right there
but basically
i want to go
ah okay
well here
you go
and you'll
kind of
you'll generally
sketch out
like general
points and
general areas
we need to
go it's
sketch work
but it'll
get you there
if you if
you pay
attention and
you'll write
down some
notes and
landmarks for
you to follow
to where you
need to look
and some more
specific
instructions to
get to the
ruins and
um he'll
pass them over
to you to
leave him and
uh and you'll
kind of tap it
a little bit
and you'll notice
that as he does
so a little
pling with it
and you're able
to actually pick
up the piece
of paper just
fine and he
will and here
we go uh just
follow those
instructions just
be aware that
last time i looked
there were a lot
of crocs gang's
member there um
just do be
careful
uh to limo
actually uh take
the map and he'll
roll it up and
tuck it away and
he'll be like of
course and thank
you very much for
the accommodations
yeah you see
lauren will nod to
you and go
pleasure and
travels
mr talim
you see
i look forward to
our conversation
after it is
accomplished
he'll nod
he'll nod and
uh you'll see
begin to puff
back on his
pipe
and limo
get up and
glide away and
it's like well
we have the area
that we need to
go we have our
objective uh i
guess we just need
a little bit of
time to prepare
gray kind of
just looks over
she's got like
her cheeks full
of chicken
for all for
all of you who
have uh who
decided to get
food me all
right what did
you you ordered
frog beetle what
did you get a
fish and gray you
got chicken chicken
a fish um for
all of you who
ate you get a
plus one circumstance
bonus to your next
roll next d20
ghost people
point ghost
talim jiggles a
bag of coins
he's just like
so so with
that what do
you guys like to
do you guys like
to sleep in get
everything kind of
prepped up get
fully healed up and
head out yeah
yeah i think it'd
be smartest to
sleep before we
go heart will
actually uh
buy some food
for he for the
new compatriot
bern and
nugget and
actually go
over and
take half of
his frog legs
and he will
uh he will go
over and be
like hi
question
hi there i'm
bannon
yeah i know
bern you're a
pretty cool guy
and also
it's my dog
nugget i
know
dog it is a
good boy and
heart pulls out
a bone that
he just has in
his in his
equipment and i
will remove
bones i wanted
to make stock
out of the
bones but they
are now removed
um
uh i'm slowly
only getting down
to my starting
equipment and
shock
heart will put
down the bones
on on the
ground for
for nugget and
then he looks
down at
bern and he
points over at
at the share
on the other
side of the
table can i
sit down
oh absolutely
company's all
is great when
you have beer
oh yeah
yeah yeah big
time i am
a um
one of the
people that
raised me was
actually a a
dwarven man who
taught me how
to properly
pour a beer
um i haven't
done it since
so you know
how that goes
and then he
laughs yeah i
also i also
understand how
it's like to be
a failure
hmm
ah damn
it it is
hard i'll tell
you that but
um i'm actually
looking to um
to ask you
about a few
things about
delving
ah yes of
course
that's my
favorite profession
you know my
name's bern
i know uh
it's great
uh so bern
my question to
you is for
new uh
up and coming
delvers who
might have
already gotten
some experience
in in very
useful fields
like you know
killing people
ah murdering
is one that
first steps to
becoming a
delver
yes as i
as i realized
it sounds like
a very honorable
and very heroic
job now my
question my
question is
what would
your tips as
a professional
uh delver be
and could you
perhaps write it
down on this
piece of paper
uh i can't
write
oh
you have
anything
the right
with
yeah i got
chalk
okay
he tries
to write
on parchment
with chalk
and you can
barely see
it
heart wouldn't
understand
he can't
read
you know
this isn't
gonna work
no one
can see
this
you want
like a
piece of
wood to
write on
or anything
i mean
if you
tar the
end
yeah
hmm
uh
heart
pulls out
like
uh
he pulls
out like
the wooden
tearing at
the bottom
of his
backpack
baron's
just wondering
why he's
here
like
oh no
um
uh
uh
salty's
dead
oh no
salty's
dead
yeah she
she dc'd
and all
that
but she
had a
little
with the
internet
uh but
that's okay
that kind
of works
out
baron will
more likely
what salty
was trying
to do
that she
was trying
to ask
baron
um
like hey
any tips
and suddenly
we need
for delvers
and stuff
and she'll
uh or at least
baron will
explain
that um
you know you
probably want
to bring like
row bunch
of equipment
rations
etc
welcome back
so yeah
he slams
down uh
the plank
from the
bottom of
his backpack
down on
to
the the
table
and uh
he
literally
yeah
for the sake
of time
just some
tips
yeah
uh
you see
baron
will go
like
oh but
i got
you covered
don't
we
i'll
begin
to
uh
like
right
with
it's
pretty much
like
carry
rope
bring a bunch
of rations
if you plan
to be there
for a while
bring a bring
a 10-foot pole
if you need to
bring a whole bunch
of equipment
to try to keep
you safe
and healthy
and a bedroll
because sleeping
on the ruined
ground
sucks
and also
uh if you have
a deployable ladder
for those high
scaling heights
that can be
put away
or anything else
that is also
helpful
and as baron's
giving you all
of this delver
advice
and actually
a delver
is an archetype
you can get
in one of our
pdfs
so you too
can dungeon
dive in multiple
levels if you want
um
but with that
i assume all of you
after all the advice
and maybe buying
gear and stuff
want to take a rest
and stuff
and get ready
for the ventures
soon
and with that
we're gonna take
our first break
and we'll be right back
we are back
you guys have
decided to rest
up at elma
so if you need
to refresh
your spell slots
bring your health
all the way back
up to full
you guys have been
fully rested up
all that other
cool stuff
and uh
what is it
after the uh
not last session
but the session
before that
was when we
leveled up
right
no you didn't
level
you're still
level 4
no i'm
yeah
when we
leveled up
to level 4
yeah
so maybe
maybe some folks
got some
some nifty
new things
we leveled up
last session
because i
remembered at the
start of last
session that we
leveled up the
session before
that so i was
leveling up
live on stream
yeah
we made a bit
of it and
everything
we made fun
of you live
you know as
opposed to the
other times we
make fun of
you live
that's okay
that's fine
no no i like
it i'm used to
it i've been
socialized since i
know i like it i
would actually hate
it if you did
anything else i
wouldn't like that
no no yeah i
actually like it so
oh sorry next time
we'll say you're like
it's okay we
understand sometimes
people are busy
we'll help you make
your character and
then we'll like pat
you on the back and
be all like see
there we got you
fixed up isn't that
all better now
it's literally making
me anxious please
stop i don't like
it i don't like
it no that's why
i'm such a grumpy
asshole because if
i'm nice you think
i'm gonna murder
you it's true we
do never do that
again soren
can you move the
map camera down a
little bit on the
stream can you move
it down a little bit
there you go you
move it further
okay
this is the spiral
froggy
a little to the
right
yeah the jelly
bean spiral
a little more
a little more
a little more
a little more
that's there it
is yeah there you
go hear me out i
would like to propose
that we drop
everything we're doing
and we go to the
beanstalk
please i want to go
to the beanstalk
we can't go to the
beanstalk after we're
done adventuring
every time i see
this map i look at
the beanstalk and i
don't know what
compels me but i want
to go
hey soren what
pilaster is that
uh that's a good
question actually i
completely forgot
it might be the
queen's pilaster let
me let me pull up
one of our pds here
real quick
you
oh the pdf so you
can get off of the
the the narrative
declaration patreon
that is the one
you can get it
while listening to
this you can go
to patreon we
can we can look
at it together
actually here's
one of our pds
oh no that's
one of the assets
oh that was
not what you're
looking for
yeah that was
one of the
campaign asset
pds
nothing
that's what
happened in rock
ride not in your
campaign don't
worry you won't
you won't face
those baby
possibly
but maybe you
will be turned
into one if you
don't listen
there it is here's
one of them
all right here's
the outside primer
that is did we
label it i think we
did didn't we
oh no we didn't
label it did we
uh-oh
well there's a
jellybean one
now it doesn't
even know where
the beanstalk is
next next session
everyone we will
know exactly which
one it is
that's the most
beautiful piece of
architecture i've
ever seen
look at it
it's like no the
grand cause
no i need to talk
about that with the
gang you'd be like
hey which ones
would i think i
think the queen's
blaster is over on
the right side i have
to go clarify with
the team unless
but do you tell
a thirst and
screams into the
chat and goes
it's just what
but if you want to
learn before we
know you can go to
the patreon
and get the pdf for
yourself
are you compelled by
the beanstalk
join the patreon
today
maybe there's a
giant up there
it's your name
jack
moving on
you guys have
begun to head on
over and and i
think you guys
wanted to buy a
couple things first
before you go to
sell something
first what would
you like to sell
you got this big
fat emerald
emerald fatty who
do you want to sell
it to probably i don't
know a jeweler
yeah gem cutter
roll me a society
check to see if you
know if a jeweler's
around wait did you
say also a society
check
a society
can i help with the
society check because i
live here
no cab you can't do it
this is the this is a
different stream this is
actually a recorded
video you can't do it
cab
i could though
no because we're in a
society
no
erin
got in trouble last
time
teline doesn't get the
uh make the roll
you can only aid now
hey soren
yes we can roll a
society but uh due
to uh the lot of us
being very proficient
in crafting or like
maybe underworld or
similar things could
we use those skills
instead
uh mostly society or
underworld lore if you
have that would be
most applicable crafting
in terms of finding
people you can probably
so different skills in
this context because i
know what you're trying
to do is um it'll give
you different dcs to go
after yes you can
try crafting but it's
going to be a lot
harder than something
that's more specific to
the need trust me plus
six is better than plus
zero
beetle lives here can i
just roll a society
you can
you absolutely can
i rolled a 23 on
crafting
beetle everyone else
starts going oh maybe
here maybe here beetle
you know exactly where
one is in fact uh i'll
i'll let you uh import a
sort of character into
it like who describe to
me who this jeweler is
oh so soren what have
you done what power have
you given her
uh is gray a are you a warg what
what what is your race again
no no no thank you no that's
kind of that's fucked up but
you know what the fuck froggy
we say ancestry here froggy
sorry okay so this has been a
good i'll see you later i'm done
just pee from the point racist
no this is a jeweler with the
riz you know what i'm saying
this guy he's he's got he's
got the fantasy riz not the
there's no fantasy racism only
fantasy riz uh he is a gnoll and
he he's so busted he's so
booming that you can trade your
gold over at his place and he's
got little billboards where he's
like smiling up on the board he's
holding doge coins like little or
sorry gnoll coins between his
fingers and he's on the boards
and he's smiling and he's like
trade your money or like free
gold stuff like that like those
kinds of things those billboards
that's him i have a i have a
question frog his his name is
doge so whenever he receives
payment he says that's doge coin
now he's like thanks for the doge
coin that's going straight
you did this soren you allowed
this this is your fault all right
so that's the jeweler the jeweler's
name is doge i have a question i
have a question uh froggy would
you like to play that character and
try your objective is to not pay the
full price of that gem
absolutely i have one question
froggy yeah due to gnolls being and
and of course min is the actual
person who plays gnolls here you of
course can fucking sneak in on this
one i think um due to being a gnoll and
how gnolls are hyena based uh is he
like a little scrungus since he's a
guy since hyena women are like so much
bigger than hyena dudes oh that's
right so is he like a little scrungus
you know like shiba inus yeah he looks
like that he's the beetle of gnolls
all right let me set the scene everybody
else beetle somehow has to like go away
at this point it was like i'm gonna go look
for a gun and he just leaves before anyone
can stop you gotta go shop for for a pistol
uh so you so the rest of the party
arrives salim this is a challenge of
capitalism at its finest you see like a
billboard it's going like it's doge to
meet you and then it's all this other
pointing like signs and shit and it's
like it's like pawn stars on crack in the
medieval fantasy world he's like standing
outside of it he's like what is like
splayed leg he's in like an a pose and
you you're like just like he's just
cracking his ghostly knuckles he's just
like this is a battlefield i am familiar
with yeah you got you got this you got
it you got this and here i will stand
here with my arms crossed and look
intimidating so so you know how we we
got to level four and uh we were able to
take a feat right yes one of the feats i
took was uh now have diplomacy oh oh damn
i'm not as good as other people but i
do
i'm chewing up my rico so i don't i'm
not so
so um so for i'll ask again do you want
beetle in the scene or do you want me to
crack at it
oh no beetle beetle takes off to try and
find a gun
excellent all right so here's the scene
to leave him in the gang i assume you all
enter inside
jim in hand we walk in it's the jojo
scene i'm approaching the uh proprietor
of this business because i can't spend i
can't make money without getting closer
to him
all right fraud you check it away so
you enter this this shop and there's
shiny jewelry gems all over the place
and they're in these nice delicate
beautiful looking glass displays but
there are heavy duty chains and giant
locks around these glass cases revealing
every all these all these jewelries and
everything
and so at the far side of the room as
soon as you open the door you can see a
bunch of uh doge coin doge doge arf arf
woof woof big bucks things like that big
signs off on the side of the the main
counter and then at the counter you hear
these little chip chip chip chip and these
little feet the sound of little feet
climbing
and this floppy uh gnoll head with this
golden golden golden head of hair and
these big black eyes and this little
button nose he comes up on a stepstool so
that he can look over the counter and he
waves at you guys as you come in and he
starts barking because there's a person
there's a person someone who has entered
his shop entered his home and he goes
doge hoi i'm doge
i just took psychic damage
welcome friends hoi i'm doge are you here to give doge coin
gray just looks at talim and just goes this
is on you she wants nothing to do with
this hello my name is talim looks at gray
is like and looks at gray is just like are
you sure this is you know i don't know of
uh no cultural customs i would hate you if
obon if you don't have coin for doge
you're not looking to buy are you looking
to sell to doge heart takes one step in
and goes hello my name is hart i kill
people for a living
hi i'm doge i make coin into doge coin
gray just quietly step back somebody in
chat got it
turns back to talim what's that
is that like the copper system that you
told me about
doge leans around so his head is poking out perfectly horizontally from like it looks like he could be standing on a wild wall like that's how perfectly angled his head is when it slides out from behind heart and he goes anything doge
joins his doge is so if it's a coin it's doge is it's doge coin just just sell him the emerald just sell it so we can go emerald his little hands slide up horizontally perfectly from behind heart's bicep and his little paws start rubbing together like a little miser and he goes hey let me see it's my shtick froggy
he goes
anyway
the city has done something to him and i don't know what
so anyways i will uh look uh heart like uh still has like his you know like uh chest that he carries around like a backpack and everything right oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
uh thingy will look a bit hard it's like could you get the emerald out of the chest please oh yeah swings down the entire chest onto the counter and just opens it up uh puts out a few things like the unusual liquid that we never got identified from the first adventure we ever did
so just waking his tail and uh this this this big uh like it was pretty polished as well uh emerald uh from like a little part like a little parchment of leather wraps just around it so it doesn't get scuffed and he uh places it down onto the counter
that's the one so talim does the thing like where he like puts both his feet together and cross his arm and just like floats there and he's like as you can see we're a connoisseur of fine gems and we only seek to sell them to those who would recognize their quality my
merchant companion doge puts up a paw to silence talim he holds it up like finger splayed and then closes his hand making like a little fist
and then he he reaches down and he pulls out these uh little round spectacles but the metal around the lenses is strangely thick and you learn that this is because once he puts the glasses on he gives them twists and they start to grow out like outside like they get longer like a pair of binoculars almost and they get smaller and smaller and smaller until they're super long they look like snail eyes almost coming out of these lenses
and so doge leans over the emerald and he's kind of pawing at it and he goes
now listen fellas and he puts uh before you continue i'm sorry to interrupt you
no go ahead things change as soon as as soon as your gnoll looks at the gym we're changing the objective a little bit
instead of trying to go for the lowest you know this gym for some reason
where either due to the quality or the cut or anything else like that
is super
valuable it's going to be double
of what people usually want to pay for and you
really want it because you want to get it for 200 gold because you feel you could sell it for
i got you i got you
i fucking hate
i hate this because i know the merchant
stat block and if soren has just put up
a regular ass
minus one creature merchant against us we ain't got a fucking chance
oh i have seven hp but i have a fucking plus 12 to multiple skills
you see i know gold my family knows gold as you can tell by my golden
physique you can tell i'm gold gold dogecoin gold i'm gold
but nobody knows gold or gems or any kind of money making material better than my grandpa
grandpa and then he starts barking and are you calling it an expert
the far sharp shop window uh opens like a little little doggy door but it's the window so it's elevated
and an old doge man starts crawling in through the window he looks exactly the same as doge just
old and you can tell he's old because he's wearing like suspenders and that's it
and he comes trotting up and he picks up his own pair of glasses and he puts them on and he starts twisting
the the ribs of the glasses they come out really long like snail eyes
and both these dogs are looking at the emerald and pawing at it and going
and they're like talking to each other gray is just grimacing
oh yeah you know no oh yeah you know the language so gray you can actually hear these two going
is this good is this real i think i don't even know if it's real it might not even be real one of
glances up at you gray and the back to the stone and and pop pop he goes i don't know if we could
turn this into a lot of doge coin maybe get give him like uh one offer offer him 190 and then we'll
we'll see if we get how much we could how much doge coin we could turn this into and doge he nods at
his grandpa and he looks up and his little snail eye glasses are like twang around like door stoppers
and he's like i'll give you a 190 for it
gray looks to taleem so that's more than we originally appraised it for
it is no i'm no i'm talking out of character uh oh so that's originally more than we appraised it for
uh appraised it for so that's instantly gonna set off bells it's like wait a second we appraised this
for a hundred yes why are they giving us 190 for it uh i i we haven't really had an instance
where we've had to like do like deception and stuff like that is there anything you'd want me to roll
to like for anything zoran or uh what are you trying to do anything uh like are they trying to
if you're trying to find out if they're lying to you and bullshitting you you want to roll perception
okay because you're trying to find you're trying to perceive the deception that's happening like
it's perception against their freaking what is it their deception dc yeah i i have i have a number
mentally so it's okay okay
i rolled a 17 for plus six for 23 in total oh damn yeah but you're 20 23 in in for froggy's context
that um you know but you you have a good feeling you can get more money out of this if you even
negotiate it up a little bit higher because you feel that they can get more money out of this with
how they're salivating over it you know like a pair of dogs yeah yeah they're both drooling a little bit
great so uncomfortable pop pop is panting
talim stands there and like he has his arms folded and he's just floating he's like
uh i believe that you are more of an honest merchant than that it's quite unfortunate
we were going to give you the first crack at this but and he'll like go to like mage hand and move
the the gym away from them and he's like i expected better amongst uh you know fellow you know fellow
purveyors of a profit i don't think you understand i don't think you understand what it means to take
coin and make it dogecoin we're offering you 190 of our doge coins these are coins that come from us
these are doge coins we put our our little faces in each coin and our business is so reputable and
well recognized that that does not invalidate the money it makes it worth more like it shows that you
did business with the best of the best you're paying for rapport with us when you do business
with us which will increase your rapport with other business chains that are much smaller than us here
at dogecoin
can i roll society to see if that's true absolutely i mean i mean this is the nat 20 gem cutter person that
be worth it it's a 19 i got a 19 in total you know them defacing the coin of the treasury of
alstead is against the law and uh it's their little gimmick it's gonna fly because it kind of messes with
the value and uh yeah to limbo like he'll kind of like float the uh the emerald back and forth between
his hands he's like what i do know is that the uh the ruling bodies of alstead here like their coins
standardized and stamped and when it is put on a weight when it's put on a scale that is what
they're going to look at and that is what i am concerned with not with any fanciful depictions
that have been etched into them or perhaps edges that have been carved off so if you want to do real
business like a real merchant you will give me what this is worth i'm even willing to take a little
bit less but don't try to lowball me again or i walk this is not a lowball excuse me are you a gem
cutter are you are you a gem seller i have been known to craft gems into magical things so yes before
you continue roll me a crafting check or any lore applicable things to convince them that this
would work or diplomacy crafting you say i'm going to spend a hero point to re-roll that
that is significantly better i rolled a total of a 24 for that crafting check foggy he's got a point
he's got a point like you you feel you should give him just a little bit more maybe yeah yeah the pop
pop he leads over to the smaller doge and they they start barking they start snorting and whispering and
gray you can hear well i think i think you should give him five more i mean you know these things
look like promising little entrepreneurs they you know what they're buying into the crypto sphere you
know we want to we want to bring it we want to bring them in this has been just a giant crypto ad
and if anyone actually paid us to advertise dogecoin just to be one of the best ads for them
to be aware i don't hold crypto but at least froggy's fucking dogecoin levels might rise at some point
i can't believe froggy is using narrative decoration as a tool to raise her dogecoin bags
no i don't own any crypto no i'm anti-crypto i'm mimi i'm mimi but soren we take sponsorships
i will i as much as much as i would love to take sponsorships for things i will never like do like
vpns and crypto like i will never take those that's correct crypto bros get the fuck up yeah pop-a-pup
pop-a-pup-pup he's like you know we're bringing them into our our dog currency that is secured by by
dog to graphy which which would make it nearly impossible to counterfeit or double spend the
coins we're bringing them we're raising the market you know stonks go up stonks go up and then young
young doge he's like stonks up stonks up and they both kind of nod and and and they bark and do little
dog noises and then they look up and look back at them he's like are you going to give me what i'm
what it's worth or do i have to have diamond hands what do you think about uh and pop pop he's drooling
in the background again looking at the gem and the young the young doge he's like wait wait what do
you think about uh uh uh 195 dogecoin and then he like leans back and hikes up his brows like he
just gave you a really good deal 300 300 you heard him 300. oh 50. oh no actually like turn around and
start to float towards the door uh yeah um bye har starts to put things back into the chest and puts it
on his back so pop pop do you still want to sell this to them yes okay roll me deception god damn it
oh shit tally wants to invest in i got a 14. all right so what happens is that the offer was 350 right
that's okay 300 300 and then 350 you said 300 and then doge said 250. so this is what happened to
them you begin to kind of walk through the door but you're kind of like ghostly sweating going like
please call back please call back please call back and and you see the dogs are kind of catching up on
it but through the door uh you see like it has like you know that little window things people can see if
it's open or not um you see that there is a large man he has red skin he's very like just fat like just
really just just just just rotund and he has like a bit he has like a uh kind of like a little uh
devilish tail and he's in a fine purple suit and on his hands as he goes over to collapse onto the
doorknob you see diamond rings all over his hands and the knolls will know him as diamond hand mcblark
it's time and you see as he opens the doors a very large tiefling with a purple hat on and with
horns kind of anchoring them in and he walks in and go hey it's so good to see you my knowledge friends
and uh what just did you're haunted huh and he kind of looks down the dogs start barking when he
opens the door they start barking because you don't like him you don't like him he's your rival
jeweler and he likes to come to your establishment every so often we're barking territorially
that you might want to like but he will buy uh stuff from you at a lower price when you're in
desperate need but he smells profit in the air and he looks down at you to leave him ago
i knew i could smell me some gems a mile away and you see his jowls just kind of like shake or so
and you see he's a very large tiefling very adorned with fine clothes and jewelry then he goes
diamond hands make plug nice to meet you and he kind of brings his hand on the shake your hand
to lame like to offer it out does he have like does he have does he have bow with a flourish and he's
like the lean shabura merchant and purveyor of fine goods oh from the lens of quanshir
you back off they're getting it on dogecoin that no one believes in the garbage anyway
they're going to put it on into dogecoin don't listen to him pop pop don't listen
hey they're also trying to lowball us does does he have like comedically small wings and very slender
like he doesn't have wings so
you know he is he's just a rotund character and um it kind of like waltz and go ah i was passing by
conveniently and i saw a green emerald come into the come into the store and i thought i could
take a look at i could probably get more than these hounds can if he was like by all means
it's not it's not worth as much as you think we'll give you 300 we'll give you the 300 we'll give you
pop pop looks like he's having a heart attack in the background like pop uh the younger doge goes
we'll give you the 300 we'll give you the 300 and pop pop clasps his chest and starts panting really
hard unfortunately it seems that uh they wanted to only give me 300 for it but if you would like to
take a look thank you uh our our mod and lovely mod for adding motherfucker as he permitted term
in our chat by the way um but you'll see that you'll see that mcblark will uh will look at you
and go like oh 300 huh hmm kind of like he like rubs in his jowls like he's stroking a beer but it's
all just jowls and you're like oh well i suppose i could go 350 instead it's a five gym and it's worth
and it's definitely worth that price and certainly was like well that sounds much more amicable than
uh what we were offered here you know it was quite unfortunate i thought but you won't get
dogecoin if you buy from him like i was saying i thought they were much more competent merchants
they both start barking as uh you'll see that mcblark will uh like kind of will try to like take you by
the shoulder to bring you around but it falls through and he goes up and you cut here and you
kind of point to the window right across the street is a way fancier establishment like art deco so
here it looks like a like a shady pawn shop over there like just really beautiful stonework it has
a cleaned up side like it's like like in the pawns plaster you're still there but you're like bordering
near the king's place which is like or the princess plaster which is in the middle and you'll see like
it's kind of like near the border to where it's like uh like grungy sidewalk broken it kind of goes
on and then it's like clean pristine amazing and then back this shit and and it goes like why did you
ever try to go to my establishment look how fancy it is i always like to pay a premium for the goods
so we all can make profit as it keeps the customers these dogs here and he kind of points to them
don't know the word there's a merchant come on to leave take the bargain and he kind of like looks
over he looks to the dolls and he winks the growling so very uncomfortable in this situation
like the to leave is like looking back and forth between them and his eye they can see
his uh glowing ghostly eyes they are all smiles he is just in his element uh and he's like he's
doing the thing like he's like mage handing the gym but he's also like rubbing his hands together
he's like he's like you know what that sounds like a very accommodating offer and i am always willing to
establish good business relations with those with a good sense for what something is worth and he will
like look between the two of them but you know i'm always willing to have a fair bit of back and
forth between different merchants i feel it keeps the edge sharp ah just like every quiet super merchant i've
dealt with go on do your thing wait wait doge point yeah we'll give you 360
gulge and and on top of that you can take home an exclusive doge necktie and he pulls out a nice
little necktie with a like the doge staring directly at the camera he pulls it up and he lays it out
on the on the counter what do you think 365 and a necktie that i can't wear i don't know i think you
could probably do better than that diamond hand two two neckties and a toe ring and he pulls out a tiny
little ring for somebody's toe and it's got a hyper realistic dog head like 3d dog head on the ring
and he puts them all down on the counter and steeples his fingers and leans forward like in a godfather
position more things he can't wear i'll allow you i'll allow you to inspect the goods
all right i will go over and i will i will inspect the goods
believe all like he will he will pull out his own pair of spectacles and put no i'm just kidding
i don't have any spectacles but no he'll lean down and like his his veil will kind of like dangle
from his face as he looks over them and he kind of he's like you know he's acting like he's inspected
him but it's also just like this is necktie i can't wear this yeah it's a fucking necktie
and he's just like i don't know upon closer inspection of the ring you can actually see
that the ring has been made of pounded out dogecoin
and you notice something a little bit special about the toe ring clean oh yeah yeah
should i roll a check or anything for that uh maybe you want to do something yeah maybe an arcana
check on it will uh let's pede your interest
roll to 17 for a total of a 26. oh nice you identify this ring this this dog toe ring as a
summon animal spell that you can do once per day and it only summons dogs
how much would something like that go for on the market ah that would be a
kind of check you know it'll it'll cost a chunk of cash but uh for a more accurate roll you can do
either underworld or crafting how are you even considering it it's dogs buy it
i rolled a mat 20 for a total of a 31. what does that ring sell for zoran
how much uh how much did uh the nulls offer beetle kind of like 360. right now it's 360 i think
you know this ring will go for about a chat give me a number give me a number i'll pick one now
i'll have some chat interaction do this regularly everyone okay they're gonna be like a million a
million
everyone's doing the meme numbers i'm ignoring all meme numbers
i'll take angel demon suggestion of 180 gold
oh not worth it don't sell it that's a free dog every day
believe it's just like hmm it's like very interesting it's like it's not a bad offer
i will go ahead and say that it's like i honestly hear me do you have any regular coin and not dogecoin
well yeah but you don't want to buy some stonks and doge coins no if we do business again later but
for right now i prefer regular coin and uh doge and pop pop they will grab a little paws and start
jumping around in a circle going yay yay yay yay and then they'll climb back up on the step stool oh and
he turns back around the diamond hands
so you'll see the diamond hands is kind of stroking his job oh that's a really good offer
they must really what the what this timber road and uh he's looking at uh perhaps there's something
i haven't noticed about this hmm interesting it's like i'm currently looking up an interesting
wand for you because i want to offer you a magic item in the background you see another uh window
open in the shop and a third doge that looks exactly the same comes crawling in bodily from the window
and comes sniffing his way up to the counter they're multiplying they all came from the ring
there's just one wizard upstairs i like how mr friggin shot i was like don't let diamond hands win
yeah the lore of this place is there's a wizard upstairs and he's like retired and he just
accidentally made this toe ring that keeps making more dogs and he just accidentally made a bunch of
dogs and now they've like they're like we run dogecoin and the wizard's like that's nice
all right i have to i have to see how uh i have to see this um so there's that and he'll go like
oh well with the emerald instead of the money i will trade you this and he can come and he takes
a wand out of his uh out of his like suit suit pocket and he will bring and he'll present it up
to you to lean and he will go i believe someone of your magical attitude will know what this is and he
will you know bring to you in this one it kind of has like a uh tied in little piece of um you assume
to be string with feathers kind of at the base of it and uh he will allow you to inspect it okay
so roll me an arcana check
roll for a
18 for a total of 27. this is a wand of fly
and just from your arcana check to save you all the others have you know this thing is like
like retail price in the book 700 gold
but you don't think you'll get that amount of money if you try to pawn it you think you're going
to get a lot less money yeah oh yeah nobody wants to buy used
the telemo uh we'll look at the wand is like
for most people i think that would be a compelling offer but as you can see and
telemo motion down towards the ground where he floats a couple inches off of it
and people like me are not so inclined to such things but don't just wake their tails you see
he'll like flip the wand like bring to he'll like toss the wand up in the air and he'll kind of snatch
it mid-air and put it back in his go well i see well whenever you want to do any real business in the
jewelry market you come back you come by the diamond hands right you know he'll flick a business card at
you there's a kind of inside of your ghostly visage and just starts floating down and begins to walk
out or whatever and he'll tip his hat over to gray tip his hat over the heart and he'll glare back at
the gnolls as he opens the door and shuts it the gnolls seem like a nice guy felim will uh turn around
it's like i believe we have a business deal but please regular coin okie dokie more doge for us
more dogecoin for us get him the gold and then one of the dogs opens the register and starts jingling
out the the gold separating the dog gold from the actual gold and and pushes it into a giant pile with
the toe ring and the two dog ties and the third dog grabs a sign that says cash for gold for real
and it's got a dog posed with gold teeth and he's smiling really wide and he's holding necklaces and
jewelry and wands and he picks up that sign and he crawls out the window with the sign back the way
he came great i have no idea what just happened except that i got paid great great just looks
exasperated she just she leaves she leaves she's done it's like to leave we'll look at heart it's like
heart if you would please collect our uh winnings takes it puts it in your bag two dogs put their
paws out for the emerald until we will like float the emerald over to them as soon as the emerald is
in pop pop's hands he has a heart attack this with you and he passes away he has a heart attack turns
stone white falls backwards and is dead but uh doge he takes the emerald out of pop pop's hands and
goes pleasure doing business with you and he does a celebratory bark and he does a little dance in
a circle holding the emerald and two other doges come in from two other windows take pop pop up put
him into a a box and they carry him away so talim add 360 gold to your inventory and uh i will i will
get your prizes uh next time and two neckties in the toe ring yeah i've temporarily put a wand of
someone in i know it's i know it's a ring but just for me you literally killed salty she's gone again
watching everyone's reaction to and he died and so and so with that as our adventurers have finished
with their business dealings i just want to do biochemical and artisan tools can you guys hear me
yes okay looks like we're fresh and obvious ninja see if it comes back but um but for that is there
anything else anybody else wants to buy oh yeah there's a bunch of things we want to buy cool
then we will decide what you guys purchase and continue on to the ruins next time on rock goons
yeah slightly shorter episode but just yeah
with the technical issues i just want to make sure
yeah it's totally fine but chat if you really like the show if you really like what we did here
you can always support the show by subscribe or subscribing here on twitch uh at twitch.tv
4 slash narrative declaration we we stream first live we don't do pre-recorded stuff we like to do
little chat interactions with you guys ever so often along with you helping us out with hero points
and stuff but um i just want to rethink all the amazing players you guys want to introduce yourselves
starting off with minerva hello again it's me minerva aka party demoness on twitch i am a uh
variety streamer and vtuber and uh i played gray crocus who is now kind of terrified at the thought of uh
domesticated gnolls
the next up we have our ghostly visage of uh the ghost of capitalism pass cabal hello my name is
cabal i am a voice actor artist uh variety and horror streamer uh here on twitch.tv uh you can
find me at twitch.tv slash cabal and i am playing talim shibura your uh spirit of capitalism given form
next up we have our resident little guy who played the two gnolls froggy luck
hello i'm froggy luck i um uh i'm a variety streamer professional artist i played
beetle the investigator and i i played uh papa god rest his soul and i played
coach
i'm never gonna be allowed to play an npc ever again
every npc played by froggy from now
and of course we have the the ever beautiful mountain salty job yes that is me my name is salty
job i'm an artist i work with these boo like these goofers and uh boopers boofers
oh hold on a second
oh no
but uh yes these boopers i i i work i work with these weirdos and uh i um you can find me on
uh twitter and on twitch at um salty job on both of them yeah boofer is slang for large dog so we're
safe oh yeah yeah no yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's that's yeah yeah yeah yeah all right
i'll continue with my innocence because i am zorn the bear i've been your host and game master this
evening hope everyone had a fantastic time remember if you liked the show and everything uh narrative
declaration.com for our website the final stuff we do patreon.com uh for its last names and declaration
if you want all the uh bunch of lore pdfs monster everything we do a bunch of professional pdfs
uh that kind of look like this like look at all this fantastic art and all this other stuff that
we have like we put a lot of work and effort into this stuff and uh we'd appreciate it if you
come over and say hi to us over on patreon of course uh people new hearing head over to our
discord where you can find all of our amazing uh community members where you two can find a person
to come play pathfinder second edition with or other tabletop rpgs love you guys so very much thank
you all so much for watching and uh as i queue up the music here nice players have a great weekend
everybody that was a real killer of a deal i negotiated so like everyone please be safe please keep
being healthy we will see you guys uh and in two weeks for racoons but next week for rock grind
and on tuesday if things work out we should have some other amazing characters playing through the
beginner box love you guys very much attend the live streams see everybody next time and we love you
all goodbye