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Breast Cancer doesn't care where you live, who you know, how healthy you are, how many initials you have behind your name, or the color of your skin. It could care less about money. This is a party that you never RSVP’d to, yet you are the guest of honor… and you don’t know what to do next.
Being diagnosed with breast cancer is where the discussion starts. Join host Shellie Turner in her new podcast that will shine light upon the darkness of diagnosis, giving you the support and information you need to keep moving forward from fellow fighters and survivors. We know you have questions, and this is a space where you can begin to find answers, community, and a voice for yourself in this journey. C. We Do Have a Voice welcomes you to the marvelous light of day.
Shellie:
Welcome to See We Do Have A Voice. I'm your host, Shelly Turner. Being diagnosed with breast cancer is where the discussion starts. Breast cancer doesn't care where you live. It doesn't care who you know, how healthy you are, how many initials you have behind your name, or what color your skin is. This podcast is a platform that will create discussion in order to help you find your story, your decisions, your information, and your understanding. Now let's get into it. How are you? I'm doing wonderful. How are you? Good. You look wonderful. I just was excited about you. Cause I just wanted to be in the presence of your energy again. Thank you so much for agreeing to this, but I just, I just got so much love from you from just the pre-interview. I mean, cause you just have that look on your face, like you're just so happy. You're content.
Brigette:
Girl, I am happy. I don't care what they throw at me.
Shellie:
And they didn't. Well, and that's what I mean. You just, you don't have that attitude. Like, well, they said, well, they said, we don't care what they say anymore. We care what he say. Not they say. So I just, I was excited to come and see you today.
Brigette:
Thank you. Thank you. And I really appreciate you even creating this platform. Just absolutely beautiful.
Shellie:
It's so important because everybody in the world that has breast cancer has a story and, and their stories need to be shared. Their stories need to be heard by the newly diagnosed or even the ones that have been diagnosed and that are still, you know, surviving and thriving years later that, oh yeah, I can add to that. And it should never end what you're doing. You're reaching out to people. You have a platform now. That is for us. When I was diagnosed, it just, there was nothing, nothing. And there was nothing for me either. And you created it. So that's where I kind of wanted to start with you. It's like from the day that you were diagnosed and your life has changed, you're, you're living another life now. Did you think you would be here doing this? And at this level of what you're doing, cause you are next level.
Brigette:
At 35 years old, it was my birthday. My youngest daughter was two. So I had no idea what was going to happen, but the morning I found out I was still at the clinic, call my mom. And, you know, I think that's the time I cried after that. I didn't, I didn't have any more tears.
Shellie:
That's what I did. I called my mother.
Brigette:
I was on work mode.
Shellie:
Yep, because I was at work. They called me. I fell on the floor because my doctor told me, oh, it's nothing. It's a cyst. And even after the surgery, he said, you know what? I almost couldn't find it. And I was like, because now was it gone? You know, how do I know you found it? How do I know what you did? And so he called me to work. I fell on the floor, got in the car, called my mother. And after that, I didn't cry anymore. No, I was done.
Brigette:
Told me, she said, if God warned you, because how I ended up going to the hospital to get a check is the Lord spoke to me. My two year old was sleeping. And the Lord said, go get a mammogram and do it now. It was like the room shook.
Shellie:
I know that feeling.
Brigette:
And I grabbed the phone to make the appointment, got in for the appointment. And the doctor said, you don't need a mammogram. It doesn't happen to Black women. And I made her give me a mammogram. And she like, fine, just give her a mammogram. So the day of the mammogram back then in 1996, they let you know right away what was going on. They showed me the films and they said, you need to go see a surgeon now. So I left out of that room, went to the phone on the wall. It says for patients, I'll call five minutes only. I was on that phone for an hour with my mother.
Shellie:
The instruction is crazy. They're getting ready to try to dictate from the beginning to the end. And it doesn't go like that. It doesn't happen.
Brigette:
My mother said, if God warns you, you have a work to do and I know you're going to do it. So two or three days later, that's when I started Sierra Sisters.
Shellie:
Two or three days later. Yes. So all through your treatment.
Brigette:
I have been doing this with drain tubes on. Yeah, all of that.
Shellie:
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Brigette:
The first surgery, the second surgery, the third, you know, all of them.
Shellie:
What you just described, is that how you think it changed your life? Because if you started your organizations not even seven days after your own diagnosis and here you are, how many years later and you are, like I said, you're next level with this and you're just a wealth of information. But what were you doing before you even got diagnosed with cancer?
Brigette:
I was actually teaching at a school and I also have been a mentor to women since I was a teenager.
Shellie:
So you, you still are doing that. That's so God just took you to the next level.
Brigette:
It was like, okay. Okay. You're already primed. Yes.
Shellie:
Yes. Yes. It's like, I've taken you through class. You've been sitting front seat in the class. You are the teacher's pet. Now let's go to the next level.
Brigette:
So let me tell you, that was in February. In December, I went to my local grocery store. There was a woman on the phone crying that she didn't have any food. I heard her over the phone. And I said, well, I can go get you some food. Do you mind waiting here? Because I had just went grocery shopping. So I went home. I gathered all the groceries. put him in my car, brought her feminine products and you know, she needs for personal. Right. And then I said, well, I have them. She said, I don't know how I'm going to get them home. I said, well, where do you live? Get in the car. But what was amazing, what was disappointing, there was a brother that rolled up in this beautiful Mercedes. I had a little G. He heard the same thing, and he he really looked his nose down at her. And I was just appalled at his facial expression. Yeah. How dare you? About a woman crying on a pay phone back then. Exactly. About her situation. She got in the car. She began to tell me, I'm a pastor's daughter. and I just had a double mastectomy and I'm ugly and I feel like that God just does not love me anymore and and is mad at me.
Shellie:
God showed her his love by bringing you. Yes. And putting you in the grocery store, giving you an ear to hear and a heart to hear and that's why I always tell people when you have a heart and you hear because in the middle of the word heart is E-A-R. That's right. That's the heart you hear with. So when God speaks to that heart, then that's when you know. But you were placed there for her.
Brigette:
This was in December. And I said to her, you know what? I've never been through this. but you are God's child, you're beautiful. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you're not a woman, you're more than a woman. I said, and embrace that, embrace your beauty. Didn't know three months later, those same words I gave to her were boomerang back to me.
Shellie:
Because that's what you are. God is like, keep reminding you. that you're on a mission, don't give up and just trust me every day. I got you. And the day, you know, the dark days may seem dark, but you'll never walk in darkness.
Brigette:
No, you will never walk in darkness.
Shellie:
But God's light never goes out. So that's, you know, that's my whole trust level because I don't worry anymore. And I've learned the peace I can't even explain it. You know, when people say it's, you know, the piece that you don't understand, it isn't. You can't. I can't explain the peace that God has given me through this journey and to do what I've always wanted to do. And I mean, I've always wanted to do this and meeting you. Oh, my God. You don't know how excited my heart is because it's like now I know you. I know you. I know your story. And you're a part of my life now because I'll never forget you. I'll never forget your story. Yes. You my girl now. You my girl. So yes, that's what I want. I want you to come here because I do have a hug for you. But it's just I got one right back. Thank you. But it's interesting to talk to another woman of color that has gone through treatment that has sat in the presence of doctors who try to dictate your treatment and another grown woman that says, no, we're not doing or you have questions and you teach people to have those questions. And the woman you just described said she wasn't beautiful, but for the women that get diagnosed that are in relationships that are in marriages, those things don't always support where you are. They don't because I will say that when I first had my first, uh, surgery, you know, it was a scar and I was in the bathtub one day. when I was married, because I'm not no more, and I was, yes, I was in the bathroom, I was taking a bath, and I'm laying back, and all of a sudden the door opens, and my natural reaction is to pull the washcloth up, you know, and my husband says, don't nobody want to look at you? And I said, okay, okay. I said, I got you. But those are the type of things I've been in the office with my oncologist as we talk about this. And he said, there are women that didn't make it because their husbands told them, if you cut your breasts off, I'm gonna leave you.
Brigette:
And that's very true.
Shellie:
And that's why, how do you educate the family when the woman, you know, with all the things you're getting ready to go through? I mean, the treatment may not be the same, but the emotions are going to be running high. They're going to be running high. So how do you reach out to families to get the family prepared? And especially your husband, it's like, I know some supportive husbands. I know some that have left the house. They don't want to be bothered. It's like, are you kidding me? But that's ignorant. That's that's she that's real ignorance.
Brigette:
But it shows you how shallow. And when I talk to the woman and they ask for, um, their family involved in the counseling that they have from me.
Shellie:
Right.
Brigette:
I let them know I'm going to be very honest, transparent.
Shellie:
How could you not be?
Brigette:
I'm coming straight. No chaser.
Shellie:
Yeah, because this is going to be straight. No chaser.
Brigette:
It's going to be straight. No chaser. And so and I let them know, first of all, you're not walking in her shoes. You're walking beside her. And for the husband, you may be strong enough to stay. You may not be strong enough to stay. And I tell the woman, You have to be prepared. I know you think this moon and sun and shine around him. I said, but right now it's about you and it's okay. And he's selfish.
Shellie:
Yeah. Cause he's going to be tested too.
Brigette:
He's going to be tested. Your children are going to be tested. You may have family members that say, I don't want to talk to her because if I talk to her, I might get it. Oh,
Shellie:
It's a real situation. Wow. Now that that's, that's real ignorance. That's real ignorance.
Brigette:
That's really ignorant. But when people into listening to myths and different things and they tell you, don't get a mammogram because the mammogram is going to give you cancer. You know what I mean?
Shellie:
And that's what I mean. But that's what I mean. You hear these stories that just don't make any sense. That just don't make any sense.
Brigette:
So there you'll have... I got to stay and bring them back. Here is the truth. Now you can take the truth and run with it, or you can throw it away and continue to go down the road that you're going on.
Shellie:
That's the hardest part. And then when you have women that have been diagnosed, but they're told that their insurance is not going to cover All of it, or it's not, it's only going to cover this kind of treatment. Now you're going to need this, but it's only going to cover that. So it's like, how do you get them back on track? And how do you get them? Do you help them find the insurance? Because I just recently heard that there's an insurance specifically for cancer. I never heard of that.
Brigette:
In your state, my state in Congress is signed. If a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer. they have to be covered from the initial diagnosis to reconstruction. Really? Yes. Because it's all part of the treatment. If they need a wig because their hair is bald, I choose not to. Yeah, I didn't know. That thing would be on the floor. Yeah. It's called a cranial prosthesis. But don't know this.
Shellie:
You're right. Cause I don't, I've never heard of that.
Brigette:
And you can get two bras a year, whether you have a mastectomy or lumpectomy because you're, you're right. Change. Yes. This is all in the insurance. So each state, except for, I think, Texas, there is insurance. That's free women that need to get mammograms. And if they're diagnosed. They're covered.
Shellie:
You got to tell me more about that. Cause I've never heard of that.
Brigette:
The program here in Seattle, Washington, BCCHE breast cancer colon health program. So your mammograms are free. We just hosted an event. The women that were enrolled and signed up for the BCCHP program, they got their mammograms at no cost. They were diagnosed with breast cancer. They're covered from the beginning. to reconstruction. They have the same program in California. It's just called something else. And that I'm not for sure what the name is.
Shellie:
I have never heard that. Never.
Brigette:
Yes.
Shellie:
And I don't know anybody that has.
Brigette:
I have a lot to share and I know we don't even have enough time to do it on this segment.
Shellie:
Well, see, that's why I say you're I'm supposed to talk to you. I'm supposed to you're supposed to share with me what you have and you have a lot to share. But let me just ask you about, you know, what is your opinion about the availability and even the conversation about clinical trials for African-American women?
Brigette:
Wonderful. I was just on a panel discussion yesterday about that. Oh, wow. OK. And so when they asked me that question, the reason why black women are not even offer clinical trials is because, well, there's several reasons. One, the doctors think that they're going to lose their patients. Which means they're going to lose their money. And that true.
Shellie:
That makes sense.
Brigette:
That's not what's happening. The clinical trial, if that woman needs to be in it, she should be offered that. Right. But I said in the beginning, I said, every woman diagnosed with breast cancer should have a information educational segment with their provider. and their team about clinical trials if it's ever needed. Now, if it's needed right away because they're diagnosed at that time at stage four, and it may be an aggressive type of cancer, they need to get a handle on it, then they need to see what clinical trials are open for that person. And so the onus is not on the woman, it's really on the clinician. However, the woman needs to make sure they understand how to advocate, questions to ask, ask questions about clinical trials. We know we're afraid of, as Black people, well Tuskegee. There are things in place now, and we need to be able to open our minds and understand every treatment you have been on, whether it's for diabetes or something else. It was a clinical trial first. And if you don't have blacks in the clinical trials, the medicine is created for white people. And you see middle-aged white men.
Shellie:
And not, and not smart ones.
Brigette:
No, no, ma'am. No, ma'am. So the importance of clinical trials is, is, I think it's like number 10 on the list for us at the top. We need to be educated. We need to know about the medications that are being offered. We need to make sure that the treatment that we're going on is a treatment for the type of cancer that you have. Because you can't just throw anything at us.
Shellie:
No, no, no. And when they know that your cancer is terminal and they're not discussing that with you, they will automatically want you to subscribe to this clinical trial to see if it will work for your cancer at the stage of cancer you're in for the data. And that's all, that's all it'll be for because they know that you're not going to win this because of the type of cancer, the stage you're in, but they're not going to even discuss that with you. So it's like, that's what I mean as far as information. You have to advocate beyond what the doctor is telling you. And if your doctor is saying this clinical trial, then you do your own research. I know a couple that right now, her husband, she says to me, well, we, we were approved for this clinical trial. And I'm thinking to myself, then he must be getting ready to die because you have to get approved. it just depended on where your cancer was. So it's like, he's so advanced now. Well, we're gonna use him. Cause we want the data for where he is. But that's another tricky thing. That's a real tricky thing.
Brigette:
It's very tricky. And here's the thing. It's not just stage four cancer that you have to have approval for. It's the insurance company. There's a man or some woman saying, oh, I'm not gonna approve it. Which means now there's a whole nother fight on the medical team to try to get you approved for a medication they know is going to work for you.
Shellie:
Of course, because that money, let's go back to the money chart, because they'll lose money if you if they heal you, you won't be back.
Brigette:
And I do also want to make a clarification. If someone is diagnosed with stage four, they're now treating those those individuals like a chronic illness because they're living longer because there are medications that are working.
Shellie:
that are not always offered to everybody though.
Brigette:
They're not, because the goal, if a good doctor is in your corner, they wanna get you all the way to NED, no evidence of disease. That's stage four. So it's there. But it has to be, we gotta know about it.
Shellie:
And that's the key right there. What you don't know will kill you.
Brigette:
What you don't know will kill you. And fear will kill you. Because if you're so afraid of the disease that you were diagnosed with, and you don't do anything, and you decide, I'm gonna eat peanuts, broccolis, and Brussels sprouts, and drink water. You're gonna leave here full of Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and nuts. There you go. That's it. And water.
Shellie:
There you go. Can I ask you a question? Yes. Where are you in your treatment right now?
Brigette:
Let's see. Where things happened with me was when I was diagnosed at the age of 35, 18 years later, it came back.
Shellie:
Right.
Brigette:
Stage four. At that time, I had talked with the doctor that I was assigned to. And I said, is there clinical trials available? She told me no, and I won't sign the paper. It will only live a year. So I fired her. I fired her because I was already educated about this. And I went to another doctor. So that whole year that she said I was going to die, that was 10 years ago. She can't even look at me in my face and that's okay.
Shellie:
I would smile every time I saw her.
Brigette:
It's hard to look at somebody when you didn't try to kill them.
Shellie:
Exactly. When you told them they were going to die, and it's like, oh, this is what dead looks like. This is dead living.
Brigette:
Here's what I want to share with you and the audience. When you hear something from your doctor that's negative, don't soak it in.
Shellie:
No, please don't.
Brigette:
Because if you believe the lie, then you're going to submit to the lie.
Shellie:
And the lie will kill you. And the lie will kill you. The lie will make sure that you are lying down.
Brigette:
If I would not have known that I could fire her and go somewhere else, I would have been under her care, under the submission of her madness, and I wouldn't be here today, 27 years later, talking to you.
Shellie:
Jeez. Let's see. And that's the information. The information is so key. If you would just make yourself available for that information, it's there. And just like the things you're telling me, I was like, I'm writing them down. Cause I'm like, oh, okay. This, this is shared information.
Brigette:
That's right. Where I am now, they did my blood work.
SPEAKER_02:
It's normal. Okay.
Brigette:
It's normal. The side effects, my hair grows crazy, so it's better to keep it shaved so I don't look like a cheap ass.
Shellie:
Yeah. Yeah. And that's why the hair, like I said, when my hair came out, I could care less. I could care less wigs. I don't wear, I would wear like really, really beautiful scars. My mother had a bin and I just took her bin and I, I continue to cut my hair. You know, like my hair now is as short as it's been, but hair is not my thing anymore. No. Hair is not important. Hair is not who I am. And even in my own home, the last time, not the third time, because the third time I just opted out of any treatment because I was done with that. But the second time, even in my own home, my ex, he laughed and he was teaching my younger son. that it was funny. And I still don't understand that. I'm like, okay. But like I said, you have to meet people where they are.
Brigette:
Yeah. And you don't have to meet him where he was because that was a foolish, ignorant statement.
Shellie:
Yeah. And that's what I mean. Being married at the time I had cancer did not help.
SPEAKER_02:
Yeah.
Shellie:
Did not help. Because then, and one of the topics a lot of women talk about is that your husband will never understand that you are not sexually available. You are not sexually interested in what your body is going through. Are you kidding me right now? Yeah. And they don't even have the wherewithal. God didn't plant that sensitivity in them where they would say, you know what? I understand. Absolutely.
Brigette:
Yeah.
Shellie:
So that's a thing too.
Brigette:
Some husbands do. And a lot of husbands don't.
Shellie:
Well, a lot of cancers break up happy homes. You find out what somebody's made of. You do. You know, and you really do because, you know, the violence to death, do us to part or whatever it says, sickness and health and all that. Well, the sickness part, we're challenging right now.
Brigette:
Absolutely. And then and then for those who don't want to be in it, they're like, well, when are you going to die?
Shellie:
You was going to make me cuss. I was getting ready to say. What? Yes. It's like, well, Okay. Well, how about I'm not? Yeah.
Brigette:
Those are real issues.
Shellie:
They are. They are.
Brigette:
They're real issues.
Shellie:
Every single woman that has breast cancer has a story. And those issues are a lot of the stories. You know, that's why they're like, they're exes. It's like, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Because if you can't be on board with me and you know, it's just like anybody else. When you hear cancer, you're going to die. You must be getting ready to die. And that's why, you know, it's called, see, we do have a voice because cancer is no longer going to be the loudest voice in the room.
Brigette:
It is not the loudest voice. And I want to speak to those Christian women.
Shellie:
Here you go.
Brigette:
That your hair is your crown. And if you lose your crown and glory, then you're cursed by God.
Shellie:
No, that's such a crock.
Brigette:
I believe that one.
Shellie:
Absolutely not.
Brigette:
I'm in the beautiful, black, bald women club.
Shellie:
Being bald was the best thing that happened to me, because it was like, ooh, a relief. I could get in the shower, and the shower just runs on my skin. It's like, oh my goodness. And as soon as I felt some fuzz, girl, I didn't wear a scarf or nothing anymore. It's like, OK. I walked in my office, and they were like, oh. It's like, yeah, oh. Yeah. This is it.
Brigette:
So I want to tell those Christian women, it's okay to fall. Embrace the beauty.
Shellie:
God loves you however you are. Come on. I've seen that verse in the Bible, but I don't take it out of context to think God is not going to love me because my hair fell out. So I've read it, but that's not what it means to me.
Brigette:
And you're not a curse of a curse.
Shellie:
No, no, no, no, no. I am. I'm the glory of my father.
Brigette:
So it's like, we're not sacrificing doves and goats.
Shellie:
No, please come on. Come on. So that's what I mean. You have to take yourself away out of the, what you think and, and know what you're talking about. So you're doing good now then.
Brigette:
I'm doing great.
Shellie:
I love it. Cause when you say great, you got this look on your face. You got a great look on your face.
Brigette:
That's good. I'm in it to win it.
Shellie:
And that's what I mean. You're winning. You are functioning out of the winner's circle. You are at the next level and you are an asset. You are there for those people that have their invisible handout, you know, where you've been given a vision to see that hand, you know, like the lady on the phone and the phone booth in the grocery store. She didn't catch you. She didn't say anything to you. God told you, Here we go. Here goes your ministry right here. Say something to her. And it's like, you got to be able to hear and don't say, well, God's not saying nothing to me. Oh, yes, he is. Yes, he is. Yes, he is.
Brigette:
I had never had chemo until up to a year and a half ago. Oh, really? And prior to that, a year prior to that, a nurse administered treatment wrong in my hip. What? It burned me almost to the bone. What? What kind of treatment was that? It was part of the cancer treatment. In your hip? In my hip. Yeah, they're injections. And so she did not know how to do it and didn't say anything. It caused me where they had to take me off of cancer medicine for almost 10 months, which caused the cancer to like crazy grow. So my doctor called me at 9.30 at night. She said, we've got to go and do chemo. 9.30 at night. She called me at one o'clock in the morning. She's serious. She said, we got to save your life because you are too valuable. And I started chemo radiation. And so that's what had me to the point to where I understood now the other side as a personal experience going through chemotherapy, liquid chemotherapy, IV. And so I can speak to that. Prior to that, I would have to have someone else speak to that because I was on oral medications for eight years. What? Yes. Only a little pill.
Shellie:
And how did you react to that?
Brigette:
Excellent. Really? But this nurse, That's why I became in the shape that I was in. Yes.
Shellie:
Was she a chemo nurse or she was just a nurse in the office?
Brigette:
She's a chemo nurse. Ooh. Who did not know how to do this administration correctly.
Shellie:
And didn't say it.
Brigette:
Did not say it. But I said, you know what? I'm going to take this. I'm going to speak on it because now I can share with your audience Question the nurse. Ask them, do they have experience of this?
Shellie:
Well, I had a port and I was admitted into the hospital, the second diagnosis, and it took five people. One nurse said, well, I'm going to do my best. I said, no, you're not because you're not going to do it. The next guy comes in, he says, okay, are you going to help me? I said, what do you mean help you? He said, well, show me where it goes. Get out. Another guy came in, he says, okay, they want me to try this. I'm like, nope, get out of here. This black woman came in. She said one, two, three. She said, you're good.
Brigette:
I said, so I want to share about the ports. If you have a port, you should only have a certified nurse. That's been trained to access ports. All nurses have not been in access ports and ask that question.
Shellie:
And they didn't because all I heard was, I'm a try. Are you going to help me? Well, they want me to try. I'm like, we're not trying on me. And even in chemo one day I'm sitting in the chair and this nurse stuck me one time. I was like, wait a minute. She goes, okay, I'm going to try again. I'm like, nope. You're out of here. Now you're a chemo nurse. You're sitting in here in the chemo den and you don't know how to access a port.
Brigette:
Get out.
Shellie:
Yeah, it was, it was so many times in that little chemo room that I, I know they thought I was crazy.
Brigette:
No, but the reality is, is they were insensitive to you.
Shellie:
Yeah. And that's what I mean. I didn't just pick a number. You didn't call my number to sit in this chair. I come in here at this time every two weeks. And every time I come in here, somebody different.
Brigette:
They didn't look at you as a human, beautiful Black woman.
Shellie:
No, I was just next. I was just next. That's it. So one time I refused it. I said, get my doctor in here. I'm not taking chemo till you get my, well, he's got patients. I said, does he know I'm in here? I said, get my doctor. And he walked in and he was like, I said, yeah, you better get it together. Because I'm not taking the treatment with Anna, Sarah, and Katie. I'm not doing it with them. So he administered it, and it was done. And every time I came in there, I got a look. And I even said one day, I don't care about the look. I don't care what that look means. Yes, it's me. Shelly's here. And I'm going to sit down. Yeah. So it's like, they make you act ugly. They really do because they want, they just want, you know, somebody to come in there. That's just at work and getting ready to clock out, clock out for lunch and then go home.
Brigette:
I'm not clocking. And by us speaking up, we are not the angry black woman.
Shellie:
Yeah. And don't, and don't say that. Why is being your own advocate? Why is caring about your own treatment? Why is caring about yourself? The angry black woman. Okay. I'll be that. If that's the only way you know how to address me.
Brigette:
It's the color of your skin, because if a white woman does it, oh, she's being her own advocate.
Shellie:
OK, well, me too. How about that?
Brigette:
So there's a difference.
Shellie:
Yes. It's a challenge. You know, when you hear the diagnosis that you have cancer, breast cancer as a black woman, you don't know that you have just entered a new dimension. of confusion and you're going to learn every day. You see a doctor, you have an appointment. Every time you hear your name called and this, this center, that center, you better have your boxing gloves on. You better have your super superhero shirt on. You better let them know. I'm not here to play. What are we going to do today?
Brigette:
That's right. That's right, Shelly.
Shellie:
So who do you think you're doing what you do? Who do you think you're doing it for?
Brigette:
I'm doing it for my sisters, my aunties, my grandmas, my children, my brothers. I'm doing this for the whole community. I'm also doing it to make sure that I'm holding the doctors, researchers, and scientists feet to the fire, letting them know that we are here. include us and don't treat us like we are not human.
Shellie:
Still today, we're still fighting that fight.
Brigette:
Still today.
Shellie:
That's where I wanted to end with you is just to hear, you know, who are you doing this for? And you are doing the work and everybody you said you're doing it for needs to know that you're doing it for them.
Brigette:
This is an empowerment for our women. Yes.
Shellie:
Yeah. And this is not just you doing it because God told you early on. No. Early on.
Brigette:
I would, I'd have chose this. I didn't choose this.
Shellie:
But it wasn't about you.
Brigette:
It wasn't about me.
Shellie:
No, this is what you have been chosen to do.
Brigette:
That's right. I was asked the question, was this a dream job for you?
Shellie:
I said, dream, dream job. This is not a job.
Brigette:
I said, when you're called to do something,
Shellie:
than your call to do it. It's different. It's different.
Brigette:
Either you accept the call or you reject the call.
Shellie:
And you'll miss it.
Brigette:
I'm not doing this to be lifting me up. This is about me helping each other to lift each other up.
Shellie:
And to know that you're there to do it, though. That you're there to do it.
Brigette:
And train. You know, I've trained so many women and men to be able to advocate training to the community. How do you talk to your community? So these are real situations that we need to have and training is available.
Shellie:
Cause it's the information. That's all it is. You just need the information. Go in with your, your pad, your pencil, your phone and push record.
Brigette:
That's it.
Shellie:
Yeah. And that's why I always say, take somebody with you. Cause you're not going to hear a word.
Brigette:
I go to my appointments. They say, well, Bridget always has her a posse with her. Yeah.
Shellie:
And I'm an advocate. And are you afraid that I have my posse?
Brigette:
That's right. And if you are, that's your problem. It's not a me.
Shellie:
But I want everybody to hear what you're telling me.
Brigette:
And that's right.
Shellie:
That's right. That's what they do. That's what they do. They talk to you like you're just next. Look at their watch. Like, okay, I'll see you in two weeks. It's like, no, I'm not finished. I'm not finished. And the funniest thing, and I'll end with this, and this is how they do. My first diagnosis, my oncologist was, well, her and her husband. Her husband was a doctor and she was a doctor. She was my OBGYN. And when I got diagnosed with cancer the first time, she sent me to her husband. I didn't ask any questions. I didn't say anything. I didn't pay attention to the office I went in. He was a stomach doctor. And I never asked, I never asked, until I actually saw a doctor in the breast cancer center, which after that, I wondered, why didn't she send me here in the first place? I got to keep the money in the family. The first oncologist I saw, she was like, well, why is your scar so high? I'm like, I don't know. You know, I didn't know. So she looked at my chart and she goes, oh, I see why. She said, did you know? And she sat me down. She said, did you know who Dr. Him was? And I said, no. She said, he's a gastrologist or the stomach doctor. And I just, I cried. Now then I cried again because it's like, how did she do that to me?
Brigette:
Yeah.
Shellie:
Why would she do that to me?
Brigette:
How dare, how dare her do that to you?
Shellie:
By the time I found out. And I'm like, she said, yeah, because your scars should have never been this high. And she said, even when she was reading the report, she was like, Hmm. Hmm. I said, what are you doing that for? She said, um, You're okay. You're okay. And I, I left, I was, I just wanted to go. I just wanted to get out of Kaiser at that point. So yeah, if they can take advantage of you, you're a prime candidate. You're a prime, especially if you don't know, but thank you so much. I do love you. I love your energy. I love who you are. And I just love looking at your face.
Brigette:
Thank you, Ms. Shelley.
Shellie:
Thanks everyone for listening. Make sure to follow and rate the show wherever you get your podcast. This podcast is produced by Rainbow Creative with executive producers, Matthew Jones, producers, Steven Selnick and editors and mixers, Rob Johnson and Stefano Montelli. See you on the next one.
keywords: stand up to cancer, cancer, breast cancer, cancer research, health, womens health, woman health, black women health, black women wellness