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Welcome to the 100xLife Podcast! This is the place for anyone who desires to not just hear the words of Jesus but to live them fully. Together, we’ll explore what it means to experience the abundant life He promises, a life of purpose, growth, and transformation.
Each episode is designed to inspire and challenge you to put in the work of following Jesus, equipping you with practical insights and encouragement to align your life with His teachings.
Whether you're just beginning your faith journey or looking to deepen it, the 100xLife Podcast helps activate your next step toward the life you were created to live.
Welcome to the 100X Life Podcast, where we activate people who desire to live the words of Jesus and experience the abundant life He promises. I'm your host, Rob Dayton, and I hope this podcast inspires you to put in the work of following Jesus.
Rob Dayton (00:36)
Hey, 100x lifers, welcome back to the podcast. I have got two of the most amazing, most incredible people in my life on the call: Daniel Girdler and Chad Erlenborn, both a part of ⁓ our band of brothers. we are master's program grads, of course, but then also we meet quarterly to talk about life mastery, life mission. How are we doing? What's our current status? Where have we been in the last 90 days?
Where are we going in the next ninety days? And they have been brothers in arms for me and my band of brothers. Welcome to the podcast.
Daniel (01:12)
Thanks, Rob.
Chad (01:13)
Thank you,
Rob. Great to be with you, bro. Excited to be able to walk with you. Daniel's a rock star as well. He's actually pretty good singer and guitar player, too.
Rob Dayton (01:22)
He is. He is. Now that his daughter's in Nashville, that's pretty cool.
Daniel (01:25)
getting real.
Rob Dayton (01:26)
so the the reason I want to have you guys on is because I just want to have a conversation amongst bros. ladies, you can listen in here. I'm not I'm not meaning that to be exclusive, but just we we've been running and doing life together. You guys are both 100xLife coaches. We've we know the master's program through and through. We're in the process of actively encouraging one another to put it into practice. And then
We've been talking on the podcast about mindsets and mindset formation. I just finished a series, 10 mindsets of Jesus, trying to trying to explore and propose what would Jesus' mindset have been that would have created so many good actions. Remember, Jesus's first commandment was repent and believe. I like to say, repent so that you can believe. So repentance.
Changing the way you think is is very fundamental to Christians. In fact, I would say if you're a Jesus follower, the capability of forming a different mindset or a mindset that's closer to the truth of Jesus is perhaps one of the most powerful things you can do as a follower. Having that capacity. And and as you guys because I've talked about it in the room at the master's program.
Is it's very difficult to teach guys how to or women, sorry, teach them how to do a mindset. How do you develop that? What does that look like? And just as a just do some fundamentals and we'll get into it. thing it's really important to understand is parameters of our conversation, if you could put it on a to-do list, it's probably not a mindset. It's not something you do, it's a way you think.
And that's really what we're trying to do to get to our vision of the abundant life in the 100X life is we're going to think differently so that we do differently, so that we can have that abundant life by obeying the words of Mindset is going to be the practice that's going to get us there. So let's get into it, guys. ⁓ so Daniel, what
T give me just your first raw thoughts ⁓ after that intro and mindset and what you what's going through your mind.
Daniel (03:32)
Mindset is everything. It's just everything. We are completely done for. If we do not grasp the power of our thought process, how we frame circumstances, yeah, it's life and death, man. It's night and day. And I think it's also not easy changing mindsets, some of which...
are way deep ingrained and some of which have roots we don't even know exist but there they are and that's where that stuff's coming from. recently tore my ACL as you guys both know very well.
Rob Dayton (04:03)
think we were
with you in Idaho when that happened.
Daniel (04:06)
Yeah, you were there. And it was a little bit ouch. But I just, I might as well share this now, as I was in recovery and I still am a little bit, but scar tissue forms around the surgery and your leg gets pretty immobile and stiff and gnarly. And I was going through PT and all the rest of it, which I thought, Rob and Chad might be quite a nice massage type It was not.
Chad (04:07)
Ouch.
Daniel (04:31)
and they started beating me up. And just over the course of some of that.
The physicality, the brute force required to begin breaking up and stretching the scar tissue that had formed was no joke.
Rob Dayton (04:43)
Painful probably too.
Daniel (04:44)
But
result of that is my knee began to move more freely. And this may sound a little obtuse, but the analogy that came to me as I was lying there is that that's kind of similar to what we're talking about today. Changing mindsets is no joke, and it can be very hard, and it can require the equivalent to some significant brute force. It ain't just gonna happen. It is gonna hurt. But if we will go through it and break up that
quote unquote scar tissue of our thoughts and programming and mental GPS. Freedom will come. But if we don't understand, I think, or perceive that it may well come through a process of some pretty rigorous PT in the mental gym, then I think we're going to get taken by surprise and maybe not understand what's going on, what God is doing. I think that can really seriously shortcut
what it is God is trying to do in us through any process or circumstance we may find ourselves in. So we can come back to that.
Rob Dayton (05:43)
sounds like
what you're saying is like mindset is really a way of following Jesus. And I love what you're talking about. Is it's how you frame what you're observing. How are you framing this existing circumstance in your mind?
Daniel (05:58)
100 % and I think circumstances will come which really force the issue. know, when things are a certain way in terms of comfort or ease or whatever it may be or just distraction and busyness, it's very easy not to have to go there or look at it.
Rob Dayton (06:11)
And then the re
rewiring of your brain is kind of like that PT experience. Cause you have I think what you're saying, Daniel, is you got this difficult circumstance and it feels very painful. And now we have to all of a sudden think about okay, well, how are we framing this? What's my mindset when all I want to do is scream or shout or cuss or or exude anger or lash out, like all those thoughts in that moment of pressure.
the neuroplasticity place where we can actually we rewire our brains is in that difficult moment. Is that what you're saying?
Daniel (06:44)
Very much so. you know, the reality of life, right, is it can be excruciating. There's stuff that happens to all of us and many people listening, I'm sure, either now or in the past or even still to come, which, you know, let's not kind of BS around this. Stuff can be really, really hard. Stuff can be heartbreakingly hard. And there are the times of the cussing and the shouting and the why this and the why that. And I think...
The only hope we have aside from God's grace picking us up when we really do reach our limit is to say excruciating as this may be, if I will let him, there's something God is trying to do inside of me. There's some scar tissue being broken up right now, which is ultimately for my good. And that doesn't necessarily make it easier, but it kind of can do as well because alongside the cussing and the shouting and the crying also become actually I'm going to choose to
proclaim this truth, even those three-grit teeth. I'm gonna choose to look for this emotion inside of me by trying to find Jesus' face, even though everything in me is just like, what is happening right now? So it's this wrestle, this PT again, for one of the better analogy, which is very real. And I think it's like, sorry Chad, I'm doing a lot of talking, bro.
Rob Dayton (07:47)
Mm-hmm.
Daniel (07:57)
It's another thought which came kind of similar. It's like there's this huge weight on the rack at the gym. And that's the thought that we need in order to conquer the rest that we're facing. But it's too heavy. It's too heavy. The burden's too much. The pain is too great. The remorse, the regret, whatever it may be, the frustration. But the fact we even know that weight is there to be lifted, even that is a game changer.
I
Rob Dayton (08:22)
To to have
that mindset that this is a gym.
Daniel (08:24)
Yeah, because I dare to say that most people don't even really know there is that weight to be lifted. That there can be lifted. It's just, my gosh, I'm in this state and I don't know what to do and I'm hopeless and I'm going to forever be this frail waif blown by the winds. But if we know there's a weight there, even if when we try and lift it at first with our thoughts or emotions changing is the analogy, right? And we can't do it because the circumstance is too hard.
The fact we know it's there might help us to say, I can't do that right now, but there's a little dumbbell over there. And I'm going to do that. I'm going to pick up that piddly little dumbbell and I'm going to do that once a day and just see what happens the next day. And then the next day, and then the dumbbell gets heavier. And then we edge ourselves towards really being able to lift the weight that needs to be lifted.
Rob Dayton (08:59)
I I'll go I'll go pick up that and do some reps.
So let's let's talk about that practically progressively. So that could that be like and chat jump in here anytime is is is it kind of like okay, I'm just making up in my brain. So Bob is someone who's stole from me, who's really persecuted me, hates me. Putting too much weight on the bar might be going to meet with him right away. And then a lighter rep might be let me just practice the way I think about Bob.
In the morning as I wake up or when I go to bed, or the way I another heavier weight, the way I'm talking about Bob with someone who knows that that he's wronged me, and then and then gradual weight up into the place where you're actually not necessarily confronting, but you're trying to ⁓ in the words of Jesus, be reconciled to your brother. ⁓ that would be like the heaviest weight. Is that kind of what you're talking about? Is that there's this progression, a practical progression?
Daniel (10:05)
Yeah, it's progression. maybe you'll find, you know, a pretty written affirmation or declaration, right, which is just hope filled.
Alright, so for example, one I might read once I finally get my head up and out of the water enough to even do this, right? I might say, it's kind of a take on Psalm 1. I am like a flourishing tree planted by rivers of living water. I am deeply rooted, bearing good fruit in every season. I'm never dry, never weary, never fainting. I'm always blessed. Whatever I put my hand to prospers, even my mistakes are touched by your grace.
and turn for good. So if I could just get that out of my mouth, though I'm framing, even though circumstantially I may be in turmoil or not understanding or how could this have happened, if I could begin with just the smaller dumbbell of saying that out loud, for example, that might be an example of an incremental step towards trying to reorientate the inner stuff.
Rob Dayton (10:43)
There's there you you're framing.
Daniel (11:05)
into a better place and also being into the freedom that I think God wants us to all get into.
Rob Dayton (11:06)
It's
It's so practical, Chad, what Daniel was saying he's using Psalm one to tell himself a story, a different story than perhaps his brain is telling him. His mind is actively choosing a different story. in my life that's been very effective is to just compare my life with anyone in as you're familiar with, Chad, in the worst places in the world in poverty. Like
There is no complaint in my life. It does just doesn't matter. Well, I could I could make an argument, but in comparison, I am doing absolutely phenomenal. Does that ring true? Is that a is that a place that you would go with your mindset?
Chad (11:46)
certainly i it is at times helpful to compare ourselves with others. At times it can't be because you know it's hard to put ourselves in those situations specifically. But I I do believe strongly that what we think about we become. And as I was interacting with some of the guys that I'm coaching, we're wanna have a stronger mindset with our marriage, right? So married 20 years, married thirty years, married thirty plus years, you know, you can get into a lull.
In your relationship with your spouse. So some of the mindset shifts that we've been seeking to take incrementally, right? Small steps over a long period of time make the biggest difference. But when we enter into our spouse, into a conversation, the mindset is she's the most beautiful woman on the planet. She's my own one and only. You know, I and and she she's created for me. I am for her.
So there's different mindset shifts that we're trying to make as we enter into a real conversation or an observation with our spouse. And it has made a huge difference. Now I love the I love the struggle component that Daniel mentioned earlier because there's something in beautiful about the struggle when you can kind of merge emerge out of that struggle with a new mindset.
Rob Dayton (13:00)
Hm
Chad (13:00)
So
I've been practicing some of those marital mindsets for a while, but I came into a struggle with my wife that wanted a dog. And we've had our pair of dogs, and dogs are great, but she really wanted another dog and we fostered a dog and I was not at a space where I wanted a dog. And it was a bit of a tension in our relationship.
Rob Dayton (13:17)
Would this be example where
the weight was really heavy on the bar?
Chad (13:20)
Well, you might think it's light, but for me it was very heavy. And it is kind of humorous to think that a dog is that heavy. But that's that's how it felt on my chest. As I tried to seek to love my wife well and honor her, how do I also, you know, wisely move into this season of our life where kids are primarily out of the house? So I I wrestled, I struggled, and I got a new mindset. Be the dog.
Daniel (13:27)
you
Chad (13:47)
And I wanna I wanna be the dog. I wanna be I want yeah I wanna yes I wanna be as attentive to her when she walks into the room as a dog is that wants to come up snug with her and you know get all excited just display unconditional love and and be near her
Rob Dayton (13:48)
tell tell us about that. So wh why does that how does that relate?
The dog that she wants, you become.
Chad (14:14)
Whether it's going for a walk, whether it's sitting on the couch, whether whatever it is, just be as excited as a dog to see my wife, to be that companion, to be that dog, my my
Rob Dayton (14:25)
I mean that's
that's amazing because because it could be we you know I we don't really know, we're not in in her mind, but like she could have been wanting the dog because she wants that kind of attention. And the solution is I'm just gonna become like a dog and make me seeing her the best moment of my day.
Chad (14:42)
next time you see me you just gotta say, What's up, dog?
Rob Dayton (14:44)
What's up, dog? Yeah. So okay, that's a great, that's an example of like a mindset trigger. so how what how is that practically manifesting? Like what do you do to grow that be the dog mindset in a marriage?
Chad (14:56)
as soon as she walks in the room, I already got it in my head. I'm a dog. I'm I'm I'm getting up from wherever I am. In fact, I'm pre like I'm anticipating when she's gonna come in. Like I kind of know what how to get excited, when what to do, get the door open, get the kitchen clean, get this and that. Because I'm I'm ready to welcome her into the house with hugs. How you doing? Fully present in the moment. And then we go for a walk in the evening.
Rob Dayton (15:20)
Present.
Chad (15:24)
where it's talking so you know, it's kinda like, what would a dog do? That's what I wanna do.
Rob Dayton (15:29)
Go for a walk, go for a walk.
And be attentive. I love that. That's so amazing.
Chad (15:34)
it came out of the struggle, right? And it and it and it and it has ri birthed in me some new energy. And I think that might be the the lesson is that we have specific mindsets. We've been doing it for a while, but maybe there's a new way of approaching it or a new, you know, ⁓ word or phrase that can provide some energy into whatever relationship or space you're moving into.
Rob Dayton (15:55)
It's it's kind of like what Daniel was saying. the framing of be the dog really makes sense. It's very intuitive. We know exactly how to behave. There's so much parallel. So we're just framing, okay, be the dog. Now I know what to do. I'm gonna think like a dog would. and then you mentioned ⁓ you mentioned my mindset, which is Nancy's the most beautiful woman in the world. My that's mine that works well for me. Daniel in marriage.
Give me your what's your mindset that works really good for you and Amanda?
Daniel (16:24)
Well, all of the above, right? I think that's kind of universal, probably, what you both just said. appreciating, this is used and talked about a lot, but love languages are a real thing, it turns out. So I think being cognizant of whether I am speaking that.
language that she needs.
Rob Dayton (16:46)
What's her
love language sp ⁓ specifically?
Daniel (16:48)
think the number one is acts of service.
Rob Dayton (16:50)
That's
that's what I was gonna guess.
Daniel (16:52)
So mine is not.
Rob Dayton (16:54)
Funny that. Opposites attract.
Chad (16:54)
Mine is
Daniel (16:58)
So, you know, I'm very much looking for a bit of my love language and she's very much looking for some of her love language. And funnily enough, when we speak each other's love language, funnily enough, our own love languages somehow end up getting met. But when we don't perceive or step up to speak the required love language from us, things don't usually go very well.
Rob Dayton (17:11)
That's good.
Daniel (17:20)
So I do think that's a very real framing in my mind that I'm continuing to work on and speak for one of the better phrase what she needs to hear and see in me and from me.
Rob Dayton (17:31)
That's turned into just a checklist on because Nancy's also ⁓ access service. So I I'll just have it on my phone. Here's all the thing Nancy things Nancy wants. And I'm just looking at it and I try to check them off. And the and the goal for me is that she asks me again to do the thing. And I'm I'm already did that. That's that's when she feels the most love. When she's asking me like she's reminding me, and I already did it.
Daniel (17:55)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think framing, how we frame marriage is so important, isn't it? Because there may be things we get frustrated about and we get caught up in the moment or in our own need or frustration or whatever it might be. And, you know, there are reasons why our spouses sometimes behave the way they do. And I think me just reminding myself, yeah, well, you know, we went through this or she's had to go through that. And there's reason for...
Rob Dayton (18:12)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Daniel (18:21)
whatever it is that might be happening right now rather than just what the hell, right? Just breathe, bro. ⁓
Rob Dayton (18:28)
Right, because I that
the you're bringing up something really important, Daniel, but I hadn't thought of. Maybe I had, I just didn't call it out, is your your mindset can be super negative or positive. We're technically talking about going to positive mindsets, but I just didn't in reflection for marriage, this might be super helpful for people listening. the mindset that I married the wrong person, that is gonna be so toxic. it's not going to work out.
I'm trying to think of some of the other mindsets. this person just doesn't have what it takes, they're they're stupid, absolutes, they'll never love me like I need to be loved. That's a belief. That's actually a belief system versus some of the positive ones that you're mentioning. What what Chad, what are your thoughts on that?
Chad (19:09)
Yeah, another one that comes to mind related to ⁓ negative mindset is you're you're so heavenly minded that you're no earthly good. And and you you talked about a I think you said a lifetime limit mindset. Well, how did you frame that up in the last podcast?
Rob Dayton (19:23)
you mean like ⁓ the eternal mindset?
Chad (19:25)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you had another phrase for it, so there's limits, a lifetime limit mindset or something like that. That's a that's a negative. Yeah, life that's
Rob Dayton (19:31)
a a a lifetime limited. Lifetime limited mindset. In other words, your mind
only fits within this box of birth to death.
Chad (19:37)
That's right. Lifetime limited. And another way of framing that is you're so heavenly minded, you're no earthly good, which is a phrase that people have said and heard and at times believe, but it's completely false. And we when we really fix our eyes above, you know, for this eternal state in Hebrews 11, or when Jesus says, or when it talks about Jesus, for the joy set before him, he endured the cross. So there's something joyful he's anticipating that he can overcome the current challenges.
There's some great traction with that mindset. And you referenced the book Imagine Heaven. And I devoured this book because I have plenty of scriptures related to what heaven is like, but to have some like documentation from, you know, a pastor who was a you know, an engineer that's writing about, you know, what heaven is like.
Rob Dayton (20:20)
Yes.
Chad (20:26)
just lit my mind up, got me fired up for what's to come because it created some stronger pictures.
Rob Dayton (20:31)
Yeah, t tell tell us the
mindset that you feel like's developing from Imagine Heaven, which just for our listeners is a compilation of near death experiences. Over two million Americans have gone to hell, or heaven, and returned to tell us about it. So I call this the science of heaven. You know, you can read what's in the Bible, and then we've got all this evidence from what people say. How how is it forming mindset in you, Chad? What's what's shifting?
Chad (20:57)
I'm still developing a phrase or a mindset as it relates to heaven. So it's not be the dog yet, but but it is sort of like be alive. Like when we when there's a quote, you know, by an early church father said, ⁓ the glory of God is man fully alive. when I think about heaven.
Where I'm gonna be most alive then. Like this is warm-up for what's to come. And so it's a place that I'm looking forward to, not a place that I'm dreading. And that's that's a shift. That's because I, although plenty of scriptures, plenty of like, but nothing that can grab my imagination. And when I've when I've read this book and I've seen my imagination.
Rob Dayton (21:19)
Mm. Yeah.
Mm.
Chad (21:38)
Of lights and colors and beauty and the presence of God and the warmth of God and having a life review and ⁓ all these elements that I'm reading about just illumine my mind and warm my heart to the joy that's set before us. So whatever we're going through feels like a cross, but there's something beautiful.
Rob Dayton (21:57)
We've got that joy in
for millions of years to look forward to.
Chad (22:01)
Amen. Amen. So I'm I'm meditating on Colossians 3, you know, put it putting my mind on things above, not on earthly things. And when I yeah, exactly. Set my mind on things above. And I'll have a deeper understanding of what that looks like. So I can anticipate that. And one of the things that some of the near-death experiences talk about is having like thoughts come into your mind that.
Rob Dayton (22:09)
That's a mindset verse.
Chad (22:24)
You're not verbally communicating with God, but you're you're getting thoughts in your mind. I Well, I wonder I could do that more frequently here on earth. Like if that's what's gonna happen in heaven, what do I need to do now to get more thoughts like just impressed in my head? What
Rob Dayton (22:38)
Well, and before
you before you say the answer, let's just biblically ground what you're about to say, is that Jesus invites us to pray that his will would be done on earth as it is in heaven. Anything that's done on heaven, free game to be done here. Keep going.
Chad (22:53)
I want to make myself a better man and the world a better place. That's that's a mindset. I want to make myself a better man and the world a better place.
Rob Dayton (22:57)
Mindset.
Chad (22:59)
And the spirit sort of spoke to me, he said, I don't want you to get better, I want you to get closer.
Rob Dayton (23:03)
Mm.
Chad (23:04)
And it wasn't like the the the previous mindset was wrong because I still want to look better, but now I have another mindset. It's it's not about getting better, it's about getting closer. It's about union with Christ. That's the goal. It's not to be more like Christ, that's the result. The goal is to be in union with Christ. I don't want you to get
Rob Dayton (23:07)
Yeah.
Come on.
Y yeah,
or maybe another way of saying it is in relationship, which by the way, that's also human to human. That's cause one of the things that and Daniel, what I want to hear what your eternal mindset works best for you. But like one of the things you're saying, Chad, is yours are like, hey, I'm gonna look forward to this. I'm gonna be in union, like I'm gonna be in union with you then, I'm gonna be in union with you now. The thing that's distracting for me and helps me in my mindset is
Chad (23:28)
Certainly.
Rob Dayton (23:49)
in this life review, the people who w had a life review, they report that it wasn't the big accomplishments in their their lives were not even mentioned. I'm thinking of like, I brought roundabouts to Santa Barbara or like I I've been a coach in the master's program. I mean some, cooler things. Don't they probably are not gonna be mentioned. What is mentioned?
is how you related to people. And that's kind of that's what I'm taking from what you're doing is like God's calling in you to he wants to be in relationship is the most important. And and and isn't that wouldn't that make sense that relationship with people is is equally as important. So the way that changes my activities here on planet earth is is I'm thinking as I'm going through my day, the person in front of me, wow, these they might be in my life review.
Let me let me love the hell out of him right now. I'm gonna give you full attention, presence. I'm gonna be thinking about you. I'm gonna be, is Holy Spirit saying something about you right now that I could actually bring out? Is the how could I love you, serve you? I'm just thinking that we're the it's the people we meet in my day that's gonna be the most important thing. Daniel, what do what do you what's your eternal mindset?
Daniel (24:48)
you
Wow, that's a big question Robbo. What's my eternal mindset?
Well, I guess one thing that comes to mind and to your point about what is God's economy in terms of value? And there are some moments where, you you just know that you responded despite the odds or the circumstances in a way which God was pleased with, which actually honored him in that moment. And you can feel that.
just kind of an attaboy, just kind of a smile or whatever you want to call it. And those are the moments for me which feel, that landed somewhere. You know, some of those things I could almost kind of, that one counted, you know? And it's not necessarily the big thing at all. It's literally just a chosen response in a moment when it really could have chosen something else. So yeah, I think, I don't know, in terms of eternal mindset.
Rob Dayton (25:46)
Right.
Daniel (25:51)
Affirming what you're saying. I don't think it has to be the grandiose or the numerically measured quantifiable things I think it's what actually might just make the father smile and say attaboy. They can be ruined
Rob Dayton (26:02)
Yeah, in the words
of Jesus, he's saying, Hey, if you if you remember that you have your brother has something against you, leave your a gift at the altar. In other words, reconciling with your brother, your sister is more important than worship. And then John goes as far, gonna say it's the third, third chapter of his first John, where he says, If you if you can't love others, you can't you can't love God.
Daniel (26:25)
Yeah. Yeah. And there's something about the eternal perspective, is hugely motivating, hugely encouraging. I mean, it's amazing, but also a little bit sobering. I would like to stand on that day as well as I'm able to. Did I do any of the things that you planned in advance for me to walk in?
what can I bring with me? And I know they say you can't bring the stuff with you, but clearly biblically there is certainly some stuff we do bring with us.
Chad (26:52)
I I think
I I think the number one thing that we bring with us to heaven is love. Like how we and and I think that levels the playing field for everybody too. Because 'cause how you love your spouse, how you love your kids, how you love your enemies, how you love your boss, how you love your what how we love, that's what we bring with us when we get to heaven. We don't bring anything else. We just bring our love. And I think that's consistent with Christ's command to love God and love your neighbor. That
Rob Dayton (26:57)
Come
Does.
Chad (27:17)
It's so it rings true with what we read in the book, but it also rings true what you know our our Savior has spoken. That's that's that's the one thing we bring is love.
Rob Dayton (27:26)
That so let's do let's work on that. as I said in the 100x life, the commands of Christ are the behaviors of love. And now we're talking about mindsets, and the the mindsets of Jesus are the mindsets of love. It's the it's the love way of thinking.
Let's let's surf that, Chad, where you're saying, hey, love is the most important thing here. What kind of mindset would I, story I tell myself, as Daniel put it, framing a way of thinking, a way of practicing gratitude that would would really help me move into loving others because I'm now thinking in a way of love. Do you have a picture? Do you have a like a hack? Like what what would you say?
Chad (28:02)
Yeah.
One hack, you know, is just seeing people as extremely valuable. Yes, exactly. This person is extremely valuable. Yeah, that this person is made in the image of God. Christ paid the ultimate price for this person. I want to treat her. I want to treat him with honor.
Rob Dayton (28:09)
image bearers, you seeing them as this is God, this is the face of God I'm looking at.
Chad (28:24)
w as as as a image bearer of the creator and as the as the one for whom my redeemer has has died. That that that's the weightiness.
Rob Dayton (28:32)
F first and foremost,
first and foremost. So putting weight on the bar might look like the person in front of me is completely vile, ripped me betrayed me. And now because I've practiced that mindset of the image bearer mindset, the one you bring it bring up, maybe in that moment of extra weight, I can see, get a glimpse of, well, this is an an image bearer, and then hesitate. I I I remember a specific story.
about I think I actually put it in the book where this guy in Santa Barbara was making my doors. You guys have seen my doors in Santa Barbara. They're insanely cool Santa Barbara doors. They're each doors, a window. It's it's very cool. And this guy was making for me and and ⁓ I'd given him all the money and, you know, months and months and months. The doors are ready to be put in and but there's no doors. And I actually lost my cool and started yelling at him. And then I got halfway home and I just started bawling. I'm like, who what
What right do I have to yell like that to an image bearer of God? And I turn right around and apologize and through tears. Yeah, the fun part is I got my doors the next two in the next two weeks. But like that's when we're hot and heavy on people and we're feeling the brunt of anger, these mindsets could be our lifesaver to love people in that moment. Daniel, thoughts on that?
Daniel (29:51)
I think a lot of it comes back to abiding because out of the overflow of the heart, right? So I think a lot of the life we're talking about here that we want to live, there is an act of the will. There is a mental choice to be made, but it's also an overflow of the heart. The love of God.
Chad (29:57)
Amen.
Daniel (30:08)
compels us to action. your point, Chad, love is the thing and that love looks like something while we're here, right? We are acting and doing and speaking, God willing, in a certain way. So yeah, think yes to all that. I think abiding is the key. I think one of the things you said in one of the podcasts, Rob, which really caught me was
Rob Dayton (30:14)
Mm-hmm.
Daniel (30:28)
leads to abiding was the gist of it.
Rob Dayton (30:31)
yeah,
the the right. The this is from John fourteen where Jesus says, If you love me, obey my commandments, my father will love you and we will come and make our home with you and that that word home is abode or abide.
Daniel (30:43)
Yeah, yeah, it's like a virtuous circle, right? We make a choice to obey and we find ourselves dwelling where he is, which makes us want to obey and do even more, which gets us even closer to him and so on and so on. And then we're just blowing up, right? That's in the best possible way. That would be cool.
Rob Dayton (30:58)
So any other practical mindsets that you can think of, you know, the one thing I was thinking just about mindsets that's kind of interesting is when we have a mindset about the future.
that we don't know what's gonna happen in the future. So th the the act of worry is about something that hasn't happened in the future. And then the active hope is about something that hasn't happened in the future. And what I recognize about those, here's what I'm gonna try to get at is some people claim in my
You know, people who are close to me, actually, I'd I'd be interested in your guys' perspectives. how could anyone have that much joy? How how could anyone be that happy? I get this from clients all the time. How could anyone be that h happy? And and so for me, it's just a choice on how to think. And and am I is my future going to be amazing and exciting? Is that the way I'm gonna think? Or am I scared to death about the future? Both are in the future.
Both of those propositions are fake or unreal. The worry's not real. It's fake because it hasn't happened yet. The hope is fake and unreal because that hasn't happened yet. So the question boils down to is which one's gonna serve you in the area of the behaviors of love the best? Is it gonna be the the worry position or is it gonna be the hope position of mindset that's actually
God is working all things together for good. Daniel, you're shaking your hand. What are you thinking?
Daniel (32:17)
I'm just thinking that, you know, circumstances play a part, right? Sometimes circumstances make it certainly easier to be up and looking, positive thinking, the world's my only soul, let's go Jesus.
Other times circumstances, which I guess goes back to where I started, other times circumstances make it really hard because you're feeling crushed in certain areas. And it's like, how do I even lift my head up? Nevermind, jump up and down on the trampoline. And that's when I think again, back to that, now it's time to be in the gym. There's something God's doing here. Somehow embrace the process as far as you're able to.
Rob Dayton (32:51)
Kinda like the gym, it's the gym metaphor. You know, you could actually just see it life as a gym and consider it pure joy, my brother and ever whenever you face trials of any kind, knowing that the endurance piece
Daniel (33:03)
Right, and we say that a lot and then we find ourselves in the fiery trial and it's like, ⁓ no, I didn't know it would be like this. Or we find ourselves in the darkest valley, in the shadow. And we've talked about it all the time, reading the Psalm 23 and then we're in it and we're like, but it's really dark. And sometimes those are the times where it's more challenging and yet on the other side of that, there's the table he's prepared for us, right?
Rob Dayton (33:11)
Yeah.
Yeah. Yes.
Daniel (33:31)
Yeah.
Rob Dayton (33:31)
Any any final thoughts, Chaddo Mindsets?
Chad (33:34)
One one final mindset that has been particularly meaningful for me when it comes to forgiving people that have wronged me. And that's simply Christ died for my sins and the sins against me. And that's a mindset shift that ⁓ has been
Rob Dayton (33:47)
So that means
that means that that what they did to you was paid for.
Chad (33:50)
Okay.
And and they they didn't Christ died for my sins, right? So I'm grateful beyond measure for all that Christ paid for me, and Christ died for the sins of however whomever hurt me, freeing me to forgive them because Christ has already paid that debt and loves that individual, and so I can let that go and love them well, because Christ has already paid for that sin.
Rob Dayton (34:18)
Amazing. I love that.
Daniel (34:19)
Just about what we're talking about in general. know, it's all of this stuff we're talking about now. Every time I revisit the 100x life content, the commands of Jesus, and with the mindsets that you've just done now, it's such an incredible encouragement to know that there is a framework by which we can live our lives.
Rob Dayton (34:40)
Like it's i is it like guardrails? Is it is it providing like an intention how would you describe what it's providing? Intentionality
Daniel (34:47)
I'm trying not to use the word framework again, but just to be reminded, hey, there are mindsets you can adopt which will get you to where you're gonna go.
Rob Dayton (34:55)
Yes.
Daniel (34:55)
Hey, there is behavior you can choose that's going to get you to where you're going to go. He hasn't left us just to flail in ignorance in all the, sometimes the crap of life and the stuff that happens. We're not just flailing around. He hasn't left us in the swamp. There is a roadmap. There is a framework. There are instructions to use biblical language. There is a lamp to our feet. Right? And that's just when, when you need a lamp, when it is dark.
It's gold, man. It's just gold. yeah, just this everything, just being reminded, all the wonderful things we're talking about and all these words of Jesus and mindsets of Jesus. They are a phenomenal framework by which we can actually get out of the stuff we don't want to be in, into the stuff we do want to be in. It's there and we haven't been left to guess or flail.
Rob Dayton (35:44)
So good.
Chad (35:45)
just I I just wanted to mention the four realms and ten commitments. So anyone that's considering TMPX or TMP, the model that Daniel's mentioning in general is is a framework for realms, ten commitments. And you can learn more about that maybe at another time or from a previous podcast. But if you have a mindset for each one of those commitments.
you will you will build traction towards experiencing life in all its fullness. And so one practical piece that I'm taking away from our conversation is I've got a couple for but I want to get a few more for each of the 10 commitments that will help me stay in that, you know, way of being into each of those spaces as as a Christ follower.
Rob Dayton (36:28)
Well, guys, thank you so much for this conversation. Super rich about mindsets. I love where we went ⁓ talking about frameworks and the frameworks that Jesus has provided us to actually repent, to actually change the way we think. We've gotten lots of examples on this call. And and folks, if you are looking for a journal prompt, the best one I could recommend right now would be Holy Spirit. What mindset do I need to be working on right now?
Show me a mindset, Holy Spirit. maybe it's in the Ten Commandments, as Chad mentioned: body, mind, soul, spirit, your role as a spouse, a parent, or worker, steward, or your role to the church, or your work role to the world, whatever that is. What is the mindset that you need right now? Or maybe you're just looking for something nuanced in terms of how to live more effectively and stay and joy in the trial.
Remember, the weight's going to go on the bar. We are in the gym. We are talking about 100x life and living the words of Jesus, and that requires changing the way we think in order to believe those words and have behaviors be natural. Chad and Daniel. Really appreciate your time and investment in 100x life as coaches. And guys, we will see you next week.