Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

Our 10 favorite communication insights from 2025.

The most transformative communication insights are the ones we actually remember to use. That’s why host Matt Abrahams is taking stock of his favorite communication tips from this year, so we can carry them into the next.
In this annual Think Fast, Talk Smart tradition, Abrahams shares his top 10 communication insights from guests over the past year, from facilitating connection through Gina Bianchini's "proactive serendipity” to Jenn Wynn’s use of dialogue as a gateway to synergy. Whether you're looking to build trust, boost productivity, or speak more spontaneously, this year’s top 10 insights offer a reminder of all we’ve learned this year — and a roadmap for better communication in the year ahead.

Episode Reference Links:

Connect:

Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (03:39) - Facilitation and Productive Serendipity
  • (05:14) - Toxic vs. Healthy Productivity
  • (07:37) - Dialogue as the Path to Synergy
  • (10:09) - How Actions Build Trust
  • (11:35) - Communication as an Unselfish Act
  • (13:30) - Be Present and Prepare to Be Spontaneous
  • (15:35) - Why Memorable Words Matter
  • (20:38) - Persuasion and Identity
  • (22:27) - Finding Meaning Through Purpose
  • (24:22) - Listening to Negative Emotions
  • (26:39) - Conclusion

 ********
Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.

This episode is brought to you by Babbel. Think Fast Talk Smart listeners can get started on your language learning journey today- visit Babbel.com/Thinkfast and get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription.

Join our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be. 

Creators and Guests

Host
Matt Abrahams
Lecturer Stanford University Graduate School of Business | Think Fast Talk Smart podcast host
Guest
Ada Aka
Assistant Professor at Stanford GSB
Guest
Alex Rodriguez
Chairman & CEO of A-Rod Corp, Former Professional Baseball Player
Guest
Arthur Brooks
Professor, Columnist, and Author
Guest
Chris Voss
Negotiation Coach, Keynote Speaker, Author, CEO at The Black Swan Group, Ltd
Guest
Gina Bianchini
CEO and founder of Mighty Networks
Guest
Jenn Wynn
Former Director of Education at the Obama Foundation | Professor | Leadership Coach
Guest
Laurie Santos
Yale professor. Scientist. Podcast host.
Guest
Matt Lieberman
UCLA Professor, Co-founder Resonance Inc., Author
Guest
Muriel Wilkins
CEO Advisor & Leadership Coach, Podcaster, Author
Guest
Peter Sagal
Author/Radio Host
Guest
Richard Edelman
President and CEO, Edelman

What is Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques?

One of the most essential ingredients to success in business and life is effective communication.

Join Matt Abrahams, best-selling author and Strategic Communication lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business, as he interviews experts to provide actionable insights that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact. From handling impromptu questions to crafting compelling messages, Matt explores practical strategies for real-world communication challenges.

Whether you’re navigating a high-stakes presentation, perfecting your email tone, or speaking off the cuff, Think Fast, Talk Smart equips you with the tools, techniques, and best practices to express yourself effectively in any situation. Enhance your communication skills to elevate your career and build stronger professional relationships.

Tune in every Tuesday for new episodes. Subscribe now to unlock your potential as a thoughtful, impactful communicator. Learn more and sign up for our eNewsletter at fastersmarter.io.

Matt Abrahams: New beginnings allow us the
opportunity to reflect, learn, and grow.

As we enter 2026, I hope everyone takes
a moment to identify a few actions and

approaches you learned in 2025 that
you hope to implement in the new year.

We can all benefit from a
fresh start in the new year.

My name is Matt Abrahams and I
teach strategic communication at

Stanford Graduate School of Business.

Welcome to Think Fast
Talk Smart, the podcast.

2025 was an exceptional year.

Here at Think Fast Talk Smart
we expanded the number of

episodes we release each month.

We now have video for every episode.

We have more detailed release notes
and English language learning content

for each episode, and we started
a robust online learning community

that keeps growing every day.

But most importantly, we've had the
opportunity to learn so many important

and insightful skills to help us hone and
develop our communication and careers.

Sticking with our annual tradition, I'd
like to share with you ten ideas from

this past year's episodes that I'm working
on to put into practice in my own life.

In what follows, i'll share the
guest's name and episode number before

providing a summary of the concept
and how I'm trying to apply it.

I'll start with the more recent
episodes and work backwards.

I hope my strivings ignite some
ideas for you to implement.

Gina Bianchini, episode 243.

Facilitation is productive,
proactive serendipity.

The ability to convene people and guide
them towards important, meaningful goals,

regardless of if they're personal or
professional, is really challenging.

I think facilitation is one of the
most challenging communication skills

because you have to manage so many
things, timing, context, differing

personalities and approaches.

At times, I can be overstructured in
the way I run meetings or host events.

Gina's advice reminds me to plan, to
architect, but not to be too controlling.

I'm learning to let go and
allow things to happen.

For my future events, I now plan to
set things in motion by thoughtfully

planning an agenda, organizing the
environment, and providing some high level

input, like initial opening questions.

But then I'm going to try to step back
and let the event unfold organically.

Gina Bianchini: The social
lubricant that exists to create

networks of people and communities
of people come from confidence.

When you feel good, when you feel like
you have something to bring to the picnic.

And so a facilitator also does
something really important, which

is, I'm gonna make sure you don't
feel like you're on the spot.

So in facilitating I'm gonna structure,
I'm gonna guide, I'm going to be

in charge of the experience that we
are creating here together, so that

you get results and transformation.

Matt Abrahams: Muriel
Wilkins, episode 240.

Toxic productivity.

Getting things done at any cost.

I am a really bad sleeper.

Always have been.

A lot of it has to do with not being able
to turn off my brain when I try to sleep.

I'm super driven and I run
my life by a to-do list.

Muriel helped me realize that my
drive to get things done, what she

calls toxic productivity, actually
works against me because it drains my

energy and my productivity decreases.

My new practice based on my conversation
with her, is to take time every Sunday

to prioritize what I can accomplish
on a given day for the upcoming week.

And at the end of each day, instead
of focusing on all the things

I did not get done, I try to
celebrate the things I did complete.

I feel more energized and focused.

Although I'm still not sleeping
super well, I am feeling better.

More work to be done on the sleep.

Muriel Wilkins: There is healthy
productivity and toxic productivity.

Toxic productivity is getting things
done at any cost, and it is universally

applied across anything that has the
notion of needing to be completed.

And by the way, the toxic
productivity is really driven by

a mindset of, I need it done now.

There's a sense of urgency in everything
and everything needs to be done.

While healthy productivity is
more about doing things and

focusing on things that matter.

So beyond that, you have to understand
then what is it that matters, right?

There's a certain level of prioritization
that needs to happen, and the belief that

will drive the healthy productivity is
more around something like, I'll do the

best that I can with the time that I have.

So what I love about that is that
it takes into account that we have

constraints, whether we like it or not.

We have guardrails.

And the guardrails are what
is the best that I can do?

Meaning what is within my capabilities,
or my team's capabilities, or the

organization's capabilities, and
what is the time limit that I have?

And then, what's doable
within that timeframe?

And there is a cost to both toxic
and an opportunity with healthy

that we can see happen within
organizations, but also on ourselves.

So most people don't really
discern between the two.

They just think about being productive
rather than shifting their mindset

so that they can have one type
of productivity versus the other.

Matt Abrahams: Jenn Wynn, episode 222.

Synergy is on the other side of dialogue.

I really appreciated Jenn's
advice on difficult conversations.

I find that my initial instinct in
many conflictual situations is to

retreat, or the opposite, jump right in.

The reality is that I need to engage
the other person as a partner to explore

and problem solve the issue at hand.

It's about the conversation, the dialogue.

When I approach a challenging
conversation, I now try to start by

asking an open-ended question that
demonstrates I want to understand the

other person's perspective and situation.

I next try to paraphrase to show
I appreciate what they said.

I remind myself that understanding
and appreciation do not mean I

agree, but they do open the door
for collaborating and connecting.

Jenn Wynn: So sometimes the issue is
not listening enough and sometimes

it's not showing that we are listening.

So those are two distinct skill sets.

At the end of the day, I think about
dialogue as the free flow of meaning.

And so if I've done it well,
effective dialogue grows the shared

pool of understanding between us.

I understand how you made meaning
of a situation, and you understand

how I made meaning of a situation.

So that means that I've gotta inquire.

I've gotta ask enough questions to
understand how you experienced that,

that client meeting, that argument
my husband and I may have had.

And then once I've listened,
internalized, the meaning you

made, I've gotta paraphrase it back
as a check for my understanding.

A real humble attempt to say, this
is my summary of what I think you

experienced, but is that right?

Fix what I'm missing?

Is it half right and
I miss the other half?

And once we can paraphrase, this is
a skill that, honestly, I think it's

like punching above its weight, right?

After I've taken all this time to really
ask these open, thoughtful questions,

get curious, understand your perspective,
make sure you show the person that

you are internalizing what they said.

And like you said, it's not
agreeing, it's just acknowledging.

And when they finally say yes,
that's it, then you've grown the

shared pool of understanding,
at least from their perspective.

And then you can go share yours, and
that's where you move into advocacy.

But at the end of the day, the
balance you're looking for is

inquiry, paraphrasing, and advocacy.

And inquiry and paraphrasing
are listening skills.

Both to understand what the other
person experienced and confirm

with them that my understanding
was correct of their experience.

Matt Abrahams: Richard
Edelman, episode 215.

Actions build trust.

If you don't do something,
you can't talk about it.

Trust is fundamental to all of
our relationships and wellbeing.

Last year, one of my top ten actions
came from Jamil Zaki to trust

loudly by speaking out my trust
in people, like saying, I trust

you to act on what we discussed.

Richard builds on this by
reminding us that we do trust,

we don't just talk about it.

I'm trying to implement
this advice in two ways.

I now thank people when they put
trust in me, and I follow up and

share what I've done as a result.

For example, a colleague of
mine recently asked me to teach

a class they needed to miss.

I thank them for trusting me to
cover their content, and after I

taught the class, I sent an email
detailing what I had done and

how the students had responded.

Richard Edelman: I think
action builds trust.

If you don't do something,
you can't talk about it.

The second is to speak broadly,
meaning talk to your employees first

and then talk to other stakeholders.

So inside out.

And then the third is as there's been
dispersion of authority, you have to

talk, but then the employees have to talk.

It has to be a cadence, and there
has to be a broad inclusion of

forms of media, again, from creators
to podcasters to mainstream.

Matt Abrahams: Alex
Rodriguez, episode 201.

Communication is an unselfish act.

ARod clearly summarizes one of
the most frequently cited bits of

advice we have heard on the show.

Communication is not about you.

It's about your audience.

It's not about what you
want, but what others need.

The reality is that all of us suffer
from the curse of knowledge and the

curse of passion, which leads us to make
assumptions, go too deep, use jargon.

The only antidote to the
curse of knowledge and passion

is empathy and curiosity.

You need to be curious enough
to think about what is important

to your audience and empathetic
enough to do something about it.

Whenever I write, teach, or present, I
now try to ask myself four questions that

help me tailor my messages to my audience.

First, I'll ask, what is their
knowledge level on my topic?

What are their attitudes on the topic?

Third, what are their areas of
resistance, hesitation, and concern?

And finally, what motivates them and how
can they benefit from what I'm saying?

Alex Rodriguez: I think someone that I
would say has their ten thousand hours

and whatever they're talking about, right?

Because you, you can't
replace credibility.

Someone who can speak passionately
and clearly and don't speak in too

many jargons and too many acronyms.

Like really give it to me
like as simple as possible.

And someone who can actually
lead me to my next question.

So there's a little bit of a revolver.

Monologues are never fun.

Uh, I much more have a dialogue.

It's more dynamic, it's more
commercial, it's more sellable,

it's better for television.

Keeping it tight I also
think it's really important.

I think a lot of communicators sometimes
think about, what do I have to do to

be a great communicator to sound smart?

I think you should be
asking, who am I talking to?

Who am I communicating with and what
nuggets and value can I bring them?

Because it's really about them.

It's an unselfish act, it's not a
selfish act, and that's a big difference.

Matt Abrahams: Spontaneous
speaking miniseries, episodes

197, 198, 1 99, and 203.

Be present and prepare to be spontaneous.

I really enjoyed our four episode
miniseries on spontaneous speaking.

We all got valuable advice from six guest
coaches like Peter Sagal and Chris Voss.

They taught us specific ways to
be in the moment and to respond

calmly to what is needed.

The two things I'm working on the
most from these episodes is to listen

deeply and practice being spontaneous.

I find this most helpful
when I'm answering questions

during a Q and A session.

In the past, once I got the gist of
what somebody was asking, I would simply

start thinking of my answer, essentially
disconnecting and going inside my head.

Now I really try to listen thoroughly
and either paraphrase the question

or ask a follow-up question.

Both paraphrasing and asking a question
require deep present listening.

Additionally, to practice being
spontaneous, I'll often work with

an AI tool like ChatGPT or Gemini to
generate potential questions for me.

I feel like an athlete doing practice
drills, so when I'm in the game

of Q and A, I can be agile and
prepared for whatever comes my way.

Chris Voss: It's just practice,
it's preparation, it's putting

in the hours ahead of time.

Anything that looks easy,
that somebody makes look easy,

they put a lot of time in.

And so like any skill, you break
it down into small pieces and you

practice it live, and then you practice
it in small stakes interactions.

As a hostage negotiator, I had enough
confidence in a process and I'm like,

all right, I don't know sure how
this is gonna come out, but the best

outcome is by just follow the process.

This is the best chance of success.

Peter Sagal: You have to be present.

I think that is the key to anything
like what I do for a living, is

to constantly work on, as Ram
Dass told us, being here, now.

And being attuned to what's happening,
being attuned to the possibilities

of what the future may hold,
where this could go, steering it

toward the choice that you prefer.

Matt Abrahams: Ada Aka, episode 191.

Memorable words are concrete,
emotional, and informal.

Words matter.

There are many ways to say
things, but Ada shared with us

certain words are more memorable.

I now spend more time thinking about
my word choice in my interpersonal

communication and my social media.

In fact, I'll let you
in behind the scenes.

Every Friday, the Think Fast Talk
Smart team comes together and names

our episodes, and we determine
the two or three words that will

appear on each episode's show art.

It's a fun game and I look
forward to playing it every week.

We always take into account
Ada's guidance to use concrete,

emotional, and informal wording.

Next time you listen to an episode,
take a look at the title and show art.

How'd we do?

Was it memorable?

Ada Aka: What you can do is, at the
end of everything, average all of these

probabilities to say, what are the words
that stick in people's minds over time?

And then that's the point that
I think is quite fascinating.

Certain words are intrinsically more
memorable than others beyond where

they were presented, what they were
next to, or who the person was even.

And those types of things I think we
can look at two different buckets.

What we call psycholinguistic
variables that relate to language

related properties of the words,
things like concreteness, a word like

mountain is gonna be more memorable.

Of course, emotions matter
quite a bit as well, both in

terms of valence and arousal.

And then contextual diversity was
another variable that stood out.

So how many different contexts things
appear relate to how much you're

gonna remember those words later on.

Informal language also stood out as being
some of the words that tend to be more

memorable, so if your context allows
for it, I would also say incorporating,

scattering some of these informal language
words like oops, for example, might

be relevant in terms of catching your
attention and later making you remember,

not just that word, but that's what's
around that particular word as well.

Matt Abrahams: Matt
Lieberman, episode 188.

When someone hears a persuasive
message, they try on a new identity

and decide if they want to be
like that kind of person or not.

Matt's idea profoundly affected
how I think about persuasion.

Much of my persuasion simply provides
all the reasons somebody should change

in line with what I want them to do.

I tell my students to study
so they'll get good grades.

I tell my kids to get sleep
so they'll be healthy.

But Matt's suggestion implies that
persuasion can be more effective

if we invite the people we're
trying to persuade to imagine

themselves having made the change.

In effect, invite them to try
on or consider themselves doing

the action or taking on the
attitude we want them to have.

Well, I haven't abandoned my old ways
of just layering on reasons to do

what I want people to do, I now tell
more stories that paint the picture

of what could be for the person.

I use phrases like, what if you could,
or imagine what it would be like if?

Matt Lieberman: Part of what is happening
when someone is delivering a persuasive

message is that at some level you're
trying on a new identity, you can either

choose to adopt that identity 'cause
you're like, I'd like to be that person.

I'd like to be the person who smokes
less, who gets more steps in every day.

Like, that's an identity
I would like to embrace.

Or it's an identity where you're
like, yeah, I can't see that being me.

And then that's part of rejecting things.

And so I think part of what our
self exists for is to allow for the

influence of the social world around us.

In the West we tend to think our identity
keeps the world from getting in and

making us do things we don't want to do.

But I think it's a conduit for getting
in the world's norms into your head

when you're young, and then occasionally
updating those when you're like,

that's an identity I could try on.

Matt Abrahams: Arthur Brooks, episode 181.

Meaning in life has three parts,
coherence, purpose, and significance.

These days, I find myself being
more thoughtful about how I spend

my time and with whom I spend it.

Maybe it's because I'm getting older
and hopefully wiser, but I want my

actions and time to have meaning.

Arthur's articulation of the three
components of what makes for a

meaningful life has been very helpful.

I've turned them into a
decision making tool of sorts.

When a new opportunity arises, I
ask myself how it aligns with my

vision for what I want to focus on.

What am I passionate about in the task?

And I ask, does it really matter to me?

Arthur Brooks: So you know, what's the
meaning of life is too big a question.

When you break it up into smaller
questions, however, it's something you

really can pursue pretty effectively.

Meaning has three parts for people.

The first is called coherence.

And that's the question, why do
things happen the way that they do?

You need to have a belief
about why things happen.

The second is purpose.

Purpose and meaning
are not the same thing.

Purpose is goals and direction,
the direction in which your life is

going for what particular reason.

And last, but not least, is significance.

Why does it matter that I'm alive?

Would it matter if I weren't alive?

You need answers to that
particular question.

So I get at it with a kind
of a two question quiz.

You can kind of collapse that into
two question quiz that I give my

students, and by the way, that
I give my adult children too.

The key to finding meaning is to go in
search of the answers to two questions.

Why am I alive?

And for what would I be willing to die?

And that's important because
the first question is, who

created me or for what reason?

Or both?

You need a theory about that.

You need a belief about that.

You need something that you're
willing to stake a claim on it.

And second is, what would you go to your
grave with a smile on your face for?

What would you give your life for?

And if the answer is nothing or I
don't know, you just flunked the quiz.

But that's good news because
now you know to go in search of.

Matt Abrahams: Laurie Santos, episode 179.

Negative emotions are like the engine
light on your dashboard of your car.

If you don't deal with them
now, worse things will happen.

It's so easy for me to distract myself
from the negative emotions I feel.

Laurie's advice is to tackle them head on.

She reminds us that one way to be
happy is to do things that make us

happy, but the other way is to reduce
the things that make us unhappy.

We need to do both.

Ever since having a conversation with
her, I try a three step approach.

When I feel a negative emotion,
being upset, frustrated, jealous,

first I sit with the emotion.

This is hard for me, but I try
to feel it and understand it.

Second, I give myself a little grace.

This is also hard.

I say it makes sense to feel this
emotion because, and third, I

come up with an action plan to
address the negative feeling.

Sometimes it's as simple
as journaling about it.

Other times it's having a
challenging conversation.

But I have found this not only makes me
feel better, but it makes it easier the

next time I feel that negative emotion.

Laurie Santos: I work with college
students where, just culturally right

now, we have these conversations
about good vibes only, and you know,

you experience any frustration or
like mild sadness or fear before a

test and you're like I have to get
clinically evaluated, something's wrong.

And so I think yes, it is important
that we have negative emotions, like

an appropriate good life with lots
of goals and values is gonna have

some negative emotions, and they're
there to do something that's really

evolutionarily important, which is
that they signal how we should behave.

We know evolutionarily we have these
bodily sensations that don't feel good,

but that they're really important, right?

You put your hand on a hot stove, you know
that's gonna be painful, but it's the pain

that's telling you to do something, right?

It's telling you, hey, move your hand.

And I like to think of negative
emotions the same way, right?

If you're feeling sad or feeling
lonely, that means you might need to

make changes in your life that kind of
deal with that loneliness or sadness.

If you're feeling angry, that's
often a sense that there's some

sense of justice that's being
violated that you need to fix.

A big one if you're feeling overwhelmed,
right, that's an honest signal that you

need to take something off your plate.

And so I think of negative emotions
as kind of like the, the engine

light on our dashboard in our cars.

It's sort of a pain in the butt, but
if you don't deal with that, then, you

know, worse things are gonna happen
later when you're on the highway.

And negative emotions work the same way.

Matt Abrahams: Well, there you have it.

The ten concepts I'm actively
working on in 2026 to hone and

develop my communication and career.

I hope my list has inspired you
to create a list for yourself.

What Think Fast Talk Smart tips and
tools will you work on this year?

Remember, you're not alone in this effort.

We have lots of great episodes
and activities coming up

this year to help you.

And please consider joining our
Think Fast Talk Smart Learning

Community to collaborate and learn
from listeners like you around the

globe at fastersmarter.io/learning.

Thank you for joining us
for another episode of Think

Fast Talk Smart, the podcast.

To learn my list of topics from 2025,
please listen to episode 177 and the list

from 2024 can be found in episode 120.

This episode was produced by Katherine
Reed, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams.

With thanks to Podium Podcast Company.

Please find us on YouTube and
wherever you get your podcasts.

Be sure to subscribe and rate us.

Follow us on LinkedIn,
TikTok, and Instagram.

And check out fastersmarter.io for
resources like English language

learning content and our newsletter.

For ad free content, you can subscribe
on Apple or at fastersmarter.io/premium.

Finally, consider joining our
global learning community at

fastersmarter.io/learning.