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Welcome to The Activate Change Podcast, where transformation is just a conversation away. Join Gabrielli LaChiara, renowned healer and creator of the LaChiara Method, as she guides individuals through powerful healing sessions. Alongside her, Chloë Faith Urban breaks down the frameworks and tools Gabrielli uses to bring deeper understanding to the profound process of healing. Each episode offers an intimate front-row seat to authentic, raw, and real personal breakthroughs, spiritual healing, and emotional support, allowing you to see yourself in the journeys of others. Experience the power and magic of the LaChiara Method, learn practical tools for self-growth, and unlock your potential to activate change in your own life. Whether you're seeking healing, inspiration, or a deeper understanding of yourself, this podcast is your gateway to a more rooted, resilient and radiant YOU.
To experience or learn more about the method go to: https://lachiaramethod.com
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Chloe (01:55)
Welcome to the Activate Change podcast, where transformation is just a conversation away. Each episode, join renowned healer and founder of the La Quijara Method, Gabriele La Quijara, as she offers an intimate front row seat to an authentic and unscripted personal healing session. Each session features a new person exploring their genuine struggles
their longings and their deepest desires in their lives. As you listen, we invite you to receive as well, feeling into where the healing and insights that transpire might spark transformation in your own life. And stay tuned until the end because I, Chloe Faith Urban, will discuss the session and share a tool or framework that Gabrielle used, which you can apply to your own personal healing.
This podcast does contain adult language and content, so if you have little ones around you, you may want to use headphones.
Gabrielli LaChiara (03:01)
you
Chloe (03:11)
In this episode, Gabriele has a first time session with Lisa, who struggles with wondering if they're doing what they're supposed to be doing with their life. Lisa wonders if they're living up to their fullest potential and if they're being a big enough contribution to the world. Let's dive in.
Gabrielli LaChiara (03:34)
Hi there. Hi, welcome to the Activate Change podcast. I'm happy to have you here.
Lisa (03:35)
Hey.
Thanks for having me, I'm excited.
Gabrielli LaChiara (03:43)
Yeah, good. Let's land ourselves together. And what I mean by that is that I will maybe lead us through just a couple of breath cycles and you don't have to participate. You can, you can have your eyes opened or closed. You can stand up and jump around if you need to. Mostly the time is just for you to find your own intention and why you're here. And so I'm going to just do a counting style breath. And again, you don't have to follow my...
pace, counting is good for our brains. So we'll like exhale fully and whenever that next inhale starts, if you'd like to join me, we'll inhale on four. So inhaling one, two, three and four, and then we'll exhale around the same amount. One, here you go, two, three and four. And then wherever you're at, you can inhale again and a one.
two, three, and four, and exhaling around the same amount of numbers, one, two, three, and four. And then you can breathe as you wish. And I'm gonna invoke that yes, this is a podcast and you have so much gratitude for your yes in joining us and stimulating healing.
for listeners, for yourself. And primarily, this is your session. So I'm here for you, my intention to show up fully for your process and your journey and not to put on a show just to be present with you and let you feel, you know, be who you are. And yeah, and I'm just gonna do that a little like, I like to do this, I kind of have this concept in my head that I can pull down the window shades on the shit we don't need in the session. So, you know, all the other stuff even,
Lisa (05:30)
Thank you.
Mm, mm -hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (05:42)
However we landed to just like imagine we can just pull those shades down and say, no thank you. Anything that doesn't belong in this space together isn't required or needed for you today. We can, it can pause and activate change and generate healing.
Thank you. I'm curious about your intention or anything you might want to be exploring together.
Lisa (06:20)
I am...
really wanting to push beyond...
my ways of being from the past that have protected me but are no longer serving me. And I have a lot of desire and intention for that, but I still often feel like I'm just in the body that doesn't know how to do that. I feel really trapped a lot of days.
Gabrielli LaChiara (06:56)
Hmm. Hmm. That makes sense. So I feel like I heard you say that you're hoping to and wanting to, and maybe even have been trying to push past some of your autopilot habits that your body has. And that maybe the exploration is like either how to understand to do that or what might be helpful in shifting that, or if there's any consciousness we can bring to, you know, what's causing you to have a body that's not.
and making the changes you want it to make, right? Is that what I heard? Yeah, good. Did you wanna say more?
Lisa (07:30)
Yeah.
Yeah, I was just thinking, like, what's stopping me from trusting in that future happening?
Gabrielli LaChiara (07:47)
Hmm, right. Okay. So let's take a breath on that. And just anytime I say let's take a breath on that, I'm not demanding for you to do something. So some people do or don't have relationship with how it feels to breathe. But mostly just as a pause and an anchor point for us to rest in. And I'm feeling like I wanna just jump into what we call the discovery process, which is a way of.
asking questions and being present and for me to kick my intuition in to help guide us and see if we can just explore together what's in here. Yeah, we'll take that theoretic breath. And I'm going to land myself because what I want to do is feel where a good starting point might be in this.
I think you're probably not alone either. So many of us feel like, why am I doing this thing again? It's like, I committed not to doing it. And I know I have the story so many times of being like, tomorrow's the day, I won't eat sugar, you know? And then off I go tomorrow. And it's that grappling with like, what is that part of ourselves that is working against what we think or feel or know is better for us, you know? And so I think I love diving in here because I think it's a good.
point to look at to be like, what is really, what is that that's in the way of you? And the word I'm feeling and hearing is thriving. So the first question I wanna ask, and I'm gonna invite you to quote unquote answer, but from just from an intuitive sense. So whatever pops in your head or whatever feelings you might have to share anything that comes up. And even before we take another step, I just want you to know there's this like big delete button between us.
So for now and for forever, like if there's ever anything that comes up in the session that I say or that we share together, or even you say that later doesn't feel right anymore, just hit delete. Like good, good, don't ever make me an authority over your knowing. I like to be bold. I just say what comes up. You know, use my intuition to get us in there. And you know, I don't want to leave you with residue or thoughts about yourself or stories that.
Lisa (09:56)
Mm -hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (10:05)
that even if they feel true now, don't later, you can just say, okay, goodbye. So I want you to know you have that. Yeah, you're welcome. And it helps me to have permission to go bold, right? And also, I really mean it. Sometimes things come up in session that are so true in the moment and they lead us to a different truth later and people get stuck holding the first part of it. And it's like, no, that was just a bump to get us somewhere else, you know? And it's all good too, so.
Lisa (10:09)
Mm -hmm. Thank you for that. Yeah.
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (10:35)
could see that resonating on you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And let's just start by clearing out any indoctrinations you've had to live with about who you are and any ways in which you've been told you are something or aren't something or need to be something or don't need to be something or you should or shouldn't be these things and all the ways in which you believe that shit. And can we start by just clearing through the indoctrinated universes that affect who you are?
Lisa (10:37)
It does, thank you.
Oof.
Gabrielli LaChiara (11:05)
feel who you are and how you feel in you.
Lisa (11:08)
Mm -hmm. Yeah, I love that. And I also feel like if I could do that, I would have no problems.
Gabrielli LaChiara (11:15)
So there we go. Did we get it? Yeah, it's so true, right? Yeah. Yeah. And so really how much is that the storyline that you're being loyal and the question that percolates in me is just like, who or what are you being loyal to that would prevent you from truly feeling and knowing who you are and what you need?
Lisa (11:21)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (11:46)
So who are you, who or what are you being loyal to? I'm gonna hold that. Who or what are you being loyal to?
Yeah, let me sweep it clear. So these statements are called activations and they just move energy so that we can really keep refining the listening that we're doing together. So I'm just gonna do one that says, I command the vibrational source of consciousness. And by that, I mean you, your own wise wisdom self to clear, to activate change and generate healing immediately.
And let's invoke in camp that you get to feel no B and C right now and activate change and generate healing and immediately. And so who or what are you being loyal to? What can you know now about the energy of not being able to choose yourself or choose change even when you want to? So who or what are you being loyal to? What comes up when I ask that?
Lisa (12:56)
What's coming up is loyalty to an idea that I'm an individual responsible for fully manifesting myself and what I'm supposed to do in this time.
Gabrielli LaChiara (13:11)
Hmm, hmm, yeah. Let's feel that together. You're an individual fully responsible for what you're, did you say supposed to do and manifest it this time? Hmm.
Lisa (13:24)
Yeah, like manifesting that which I'm supposed to be doing in this time.
Gabrielli LaChiara (13:30)
Mm -hmm. Yeah, tell me more about that. What's the supposed to be? What's the responsibility? Does that feel like a good responsibility? Like you feel good about that awareness that like you are in this responsibility for manifesting, right, this loyalty to responsibility? Does that feel oppressive?
Lisa (14:04)
What feels disappointing is...
I was being solely responsible. Like, I... I do feel like...
Gabrielli LaChiara (14:15)
Yeah.
Lisa (14:23)
I could be contributing a lot to the world. You know, and there are days that I try to tell myself I already have and I could die tomorrow and it would be okay. I would have done something in this world, you know, but there are other times where I feel like...
Gabrielli LaChiara (14:27)
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Lisa (14:47)
you know, my corporal form and my limitations as an individual person, ways that I stop myself from being quote unquote productive are stopping me from living my full potential and thus kind of contributing to the world what I'm supposed to be doing. And
Gabrielli LaChiara (15:15)
Hmm.
Lisa (15:18)
And I feel the burden of...
Like that I just don't feel that I alone can really pull that out of myself and that that feels like I'm letting myself down, I'm letting the world down.
And also maybe I just, I don't matter that much and it's okay.
Gabrielli LaChiara (15:43)
Right. Thank you for all of that. I felt so many feelings when you were talking, both some grief and some confusion and like a deep drive to want to use your power well and acknowledgement of yourself. And at the same time, this like not enoughness in it and the supposed to in it and the...
idea that there's something else to be.
that would be better. I keep hearing better, you know, not enough for better or better than who you are. Like, and I hear you grappling right in real time with it, which is like, but at the same time I might be nobody. And at the same time I could have died and be like, that was plenty, right? So I can hear the grappling that's going on under the surface. Yeah. Yeah. Is there, yeah. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Lisa (16:22)
Mm -hmm.
Yeah.
I feel unpotentiated and I don't know who I'm letting down with that, you know? Is it myself or is it the world? Is it even true?
Gabrielli LaChiara (16:50)
Right.
Yeah. So when did you decide that you're letting something or someone or others or the world down? When did you decide that that's just true?
Lisa (17:08)
I was probably six years old.
Gabrielli LaChiara (17:13)
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Right. What did what did you? I just want to say, what did you do? But that's not really what I mean. Like on a grander scale, I'm like, what did you perceive at six that that brought that to focus for you? Because right now that's a clear you said six so fast, you know, like, what did you perceive at six that maybe?
Lisa (17:36)
Thanks for watching!
Gabrielli LaChiara (17:40)
brought some confusion in and or maybe brought a reality in that suggested.
who suggested these storylines, right?
Lisa (18:01)
I think that that was a time where school started to feel more competitive. There started to be more of a kind of needing to hold myself up against others and hold myself up against my older brother. And...
Gabrielli LaChiara (18:11)
Mm -hmm.
Lisa (18:35)
I just, I felt like I was missing the mark. I don't know if it was that age or a little bit later, but...
I...
would recognize myself holding myself back in school in ways that one thing that like.
caused me a lot of pain was...
the in class in like grade school where you would have to read a couple pages silently to yourself.
and then the teacher would say, raise your hand when you're done. I wouldn't do that. I would look at the questions and I would find something that I would say to answer one of those questions from the text. And then I would sit and I would watch and I would try to like conspicuously put my hand up kind of in the middle of the other students because I couldn't read like fast enough.
Gabrielli LaChiara (19:47)
Mmm.
Mm. Mm.
Lisa (19:53)
enough to keep up to even do the assignment. I couldn't get to the end of the text and like not even to be the last person, you know, it was like I would be, you know, 10, 15 minutes behind the last person. Like it was an untenable situation in my mind. Class could not go on, you know, if I actually read this text like the other kids were reading the text.
Gabrielli LaChiara (19:59)
Hmm.
You're, you're unbelievable. What an incredibly creative coping skill. That is an incredibly creative coping skill to a situation that must've been horribly difficult, horribly difficult. Like this feeling of difference in yourself and difference that relates to incompetence in our society. Like talk about the grids of just culture that already were placed upon you in that setting to imagine that you're supposed to fit into something that you know.
Lisa (20:24)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (20:49)
you physically know you can't do and that you have to hide it and cover it up and cloak it and manipulate into a pretense that you've done the thing that you were supposed to do. And I just, all that masking, cloaking, covering up and compensating that I'm imagining you're naming that story because it's still here on some level. Those coping skills, yeah.
Lisa (21:15)
It is, I mean, it's, I think it's emblematic of my entire life, how I've lived my life, you know, and I've, I've been lucky enough to learn my own, you know,
Gabrielli LaChiara (21:21)
Hmm. Hmm.
Lisa (21:33)
neurodivergence now at this point and the brilliance in that and the intelligence in what it was that I was actually able to do. But there's also a bit of myself, or maybe not even a bit, maybe a huge large chunk, whole appendices of my body that I just feel like you've always been cutting yourself short. Like, you've
Gabrielli LaChiara (21:50)
Mm -hmm.
Lisa (22:03)
never shown up fully for anything.
And that's why I feel unpotentiated. I've done that to myself and also society has done that to me. But how do I even begin to go back that far in my actual competencies that I lack because of the ways that I have been.
masking this disability for so long.
Gabrielli LaChiara (22:42)
I'm so grateful you're not masking that to yourself anymore. I just, and I just, my heart wants to, like, I just want to reach in honestly and like hold that young child that needed to hear like, hey, you're not going to do it the same as anybody around you, but it's okay, because your way will be amazing and different and incredible and welcomed and like all of the welcoming home.
Lisa (22:48)
Yeah.
Gabrielli LaChiara (23:10)
to your soul, to your body, to your being, to your wholeness of you, to say, yeah, you know, you may not fit ever the way you think you want to or the way you're told you should. And hooray, you know, hooray. Like, we don't need you to. And even if society tells you you should or it looks like it would be easier, you're not going to, right? And to let go of that expectation, I'm supposed to, the supposed to fit in some way that...
everywhere you turn is still gonna be there, even if you got good messaging, everywhere you turn is still here, right? So maybe I wanna, anyway, I wanna breathe that through and I want to start by clearing off the societal grids as another activation that just clears societal grids to see if we can suspend those for a moment to see who are you now with me in this moment today? How can we meet you to inspire change?
you know, if we can in this arena and how are we going to help you if you can't? You know, like, what if this particular piece never changes? Like, what does resilience look like in there? You know, what is changeable? What's not? There's so much subtlety.
Yeah, yeah, there's a lot there to look at, but I'd like to start with that grid and see if we can clear through any societal grids to see if we can quiet those a tiny bit more, because I really want to know who you are right now. And let's command that same vibrational source of consciousness, your own wisdom, to liberate you and specifically say like liberate you from the grids, to just like move you off of them so that they aren't indoctrinating you as a permanent,
thing, but they still exist and will exist, but we don't have to exist as them. So let's liberate you from existing as the grids constructs, structures, forms, belief systems, emotions, even spirit energies of, not enoughness of incompetence of not belonging, of not fitting of never fitting of never expressing your full potentiality because.
You can't for some reason and all those grids that have been placed upon you by society that have not only indoctrinated you but influenced you and convinced you that you're really can't thrive. Unactivate change and generate healing immediately. And again, liberating you from existing as the grids construct structures, forms, beliefs and systems and emotions of all of that.
and every way in which those exist in all the cells and particles of your body, every way in which we inherit those same systems, so they're here genetically, culturally, physically, and in this moment to suspend to the grips of all of that and see who are you today and activate change and generate healing.
If being you and thriving is not what you think it is, what else might it be?
and activate change and generate healing immediately. I'm gonna ask again and feel free to respond if there's something to say or notice. If being you and thriving is not what you think it is, what else might it be?
Lisa (27:12)
I think that...
It could be presence. It could.
have less to do with outcome, which is something I've thought about before, but it's hard to hold onto. It's hard to have that kind of grace with myself and feel like I'm moving forward in life.
Gabrielli LaChiara (27:44)
Mm -hmm.
I don't know, I have this framework that really helped me early on, which was to, at some point I realized, and it took me a lot of years, you know, to realize like, the body is this one reality we live in and one experience of consciousness, and it's physical and it's sensational and it's, you know, dense, really, emotion and pain and maybe joy and like, but it's kind of simple, you know, it's a pile of sensations. And that the body, I used to try to take,
Lisa (28:19)
Mm -hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (28:23)
to feel sort of like inside my body would be my spirit. You know, I had this sense that the energy of me was in me. And at some point it just completely, completely changed in my perspective. And there's lots of reasons for that in terms of my own traumas and experiences, but it was like, well, what am I thinking? My body is a tiny little bit of a center of this infinite being. And I started to see people through the lens of beings, you know, like,
or bodies that were in the center of this infinite resource. And it occurred to me and it just came to me over and over and over that inside that being, it's like I had this vision that we'd be souls deciding to come to earth and like, okay, time for this physical body earth realm. And that the soul would literally express into a form of being of a body through a being. And so the...
the soul takes a being and forms a body in the center of it. And then this being is this orb, infinite orb of consciousness that is serving the body and is the glue between the soul and the body so that there'd be this forever communication we could learn about why we exist and that the beings are ours each personally. But as part of us that just merges with everything and all the time spaces and maybe merges with what somebody might find as God consciousness or.
earth consciousness or all those things. But mostly to say that it was helpful for me to be like, wait, if I'm a tiny little body in the center of an infinite being, and if in fact that being knows what I need to know about being a body on earth, then there's a part of me that's never broken. Even if the body is broken, even if I've had experiences I can never fix that won't ever fit perfectly and that don't work right. Or maybe they work beautifully but not for everybody else or whatever the thing is, right? And...
in my own neural -divergent nature, also learning all the quirkiness of like who I am and then going through experiences, both regrets I can't fix and also real experiences I can't change. And like, how do I live with those? And it was like, right. Because there's part of me that isn't human that is here to serve the fact that my humanness is messy and uncomfortable and shitty sometimes. And, you know, it was an orientation I could start to feel for.
And I loved the question for years and years and years, at least three years, where every morning I'd wake up and ask like 30 times or something, if I am an infinite being and a body and my infinite being is serving me, then what would I know today? Like, what would I do? Like, how would I show up? Right? Like, and if I could remember every minute, if I could just keep asking myself, what does it take to remember that there is some part of me that isn't broken and fits just perfectly in here too? And...
And like, what would I do? What would my body need from me? Like, how would I show up, you know, with that level of awareness? And so I want to play there for a minute and just feel with you that like, you know, how do we help you? Like, is it possible that it would help you to have that lens more frequently of like, wait, what if I am not just a body and I have the beingness of who I am that is an essence and an aliveness that is already thriving?
you know, how would I use it to serve my body and help my body get out of its own way sometimes, you know? I don't know how that framework resonates or what it feels like to hear that or what it might bring up.
Lisa (31:52)
Yeah, it feels healing. I like hearing you talk about it. It feels nonlinear, you know, it just feels like...
an option that exists even when I can't see it as an option. And so the challenge then becomes reminding myself that that's an option. And for me, I feel like also rewinding myself. And maybe sometimes I won't choose that option, but I can know it's there, even if I'm consciously not choosing it.
Gabrielli LaChiara (32:37)
Right, which is fine. We're bodies. We don't always want to choose the same thing every day, every minute. And it all counts. They're all experiences you get to have of being you. They're just like, I think what I'm trying to do is fill in the reservoir tank of more, right? Like there's the polarized reality when we've been traumatized enough that it's like, we think either or, either I'm gonna never potentiate or I have to.
Lisa (32:43)
Yeah.
Mm -hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (33:00)
break everything open in between and get all the way to my full potentiation. And that means that I've completely healed everything and gotten to the other side of these issues. And those two extremes, they fail us. They're built of trauma and they oppress us because it's impossible. It's an impossible feat. You're never going to do it all the time. And even what we think is potentiation is usually distorted because we've been so suppressed. Right? So like,
Lisa (33:09)
Mmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (33:29)
You know, what is all the, I call it the rainbow sherbet in the middle, you know, like of all of those realities, like how can we open up more possibilities and liberate that part of you that says, wait, I get to know so many more things, which you were already showing me at the beginning of the session that you have that part of yourself. You were already negotiating like where you wanted to name something that might've felt rigid and then, but it may not be that, or it could be this too, or, you know, like I could see you were already open.
I'm curious if we play just with a question around that and see where it brings you. So if perhaps you do have an infinite being of your own and it is completely serving this body and your body really is just a tiny bit of the universe of earth. Your body is earth and part of earth and all of your nature is included in that. If you really are an infinite being, what does your infinite being know that your body needs right now?
Lisa (34:41)
gratitude, and self -compassion.
Gabrielli LaChiara (34:43)
And are you willing to receive a little bit of that right now?
Yeah, so let's invoke, just even if it's just a splash, a second, a sweet spot, or if it's eternal, a little bit of compassion, maybe self -love, maybe presence into you, gratitude for who you are, for the body, and all the work it's done in this, it's complicated nature and your own personal karma and why you exist and activate change and generate healing immediately.
And if you really are an infinite being and a body, what does your infinite being want your body to know from your soul? What does your infinite being have for information from your soul about being you?
What does your soul speak have to say in this moment?
Lisa (35:54)
be everything all at once all the time that I am an unlimited temporal body.
Gabrielli LaChiara (35:59)
You
Lisa (36:16)
being asked to be my foe.
essence of being.
in this each moment of time.
Gabrielli LaChiara (36:37)
that wisdom of you that maybe what you're healing really is
more to do with the ability to rest into the body, the process of not having to be everything all the time.
and that this goal to potentiate maybe gets in the way of even small successes or choices you can make.
I can see where if the reptilian brain, the primal brain wasn't in either or thinking that if I was thinking I was going to take a step towards having more of myself or living more of my full potential, that if I had already in there the drive to think I had to do it 100%, like I might flatten myself because it might be like, whoa, that's a lot. Maybe I'll wait till tomorrow. It's like that all or nothing is too much maybe.
to think I'm heading towards full actualization of my whole potential self in the next three hours of existence, right? And I can see where that just feels so untenable, like you can't do it. So then why try? And that might mimic old patterns of feeling like I can't do it. So why try? I'll just compensator adjust to myself and mask myself and move on, right? So can we clear any way in which living your potential doesn't include?
because I want it to include, maybe excluding the part of you that potential is also in your everyday you -ness. The potential sits even in when you don't respond and when you don't get up in that, can it include all of you instead of just at the either or. I'm either enough or not enough at all. I'm either, you know.
I don't know if those are the right words, but let's just clear out all that and commanding the vibrational source of consciousness to activate change and generate healing immediately.
Right? And if your infinite being is serving your body right now.
What else would you know about being you?
Lisa (39:19)
I am tapped into a life force that...
I have a channel that I can access and I get scared about what to do with that and I'm at just the fact that I have it, the fact that I exist with that open has its own.
positive and negative repercussions.
Gabrielli LaChiara (40:05)
And that maybe your consciousness is different than your family's consciousness or than other people's sometimes. Maybe your whole vibrational kind of sense of self, you know, the way you think or feel or hold life isn't going to be the same as a lot of people's, then are you willing therefore to be different? And to know that being different doesn't mean fatality or full being ostracized or it doesn't have to be fatal. Like being different could actually...
help you belong more, not less to the world around you.
And are you willing to receive being different as maybe safer at this point than not letting yourself be different?
Lisa (41:00)
There's a part of me that...
resist that I'm different but that
I'm just in maybe I'm in a particular orb of my being that someone else is not in and there's right now, you know, we're meeting each other in different facets of our being. I think I don't, I think I don't wanna deny.
Gabrielli LaChiara (41:33)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Right. Right.
Lisa (41:45)
all of our sameness and the banality as well.
Gabrielli LaChiara (41:50)
Mm -hmm.
love it. Yeah, right. And therefore we're all kind of the same even when we get scared of being different, you know, or that when we try to be, some people try to be different or like what's similar is that we're all humans, you know, having this dance here on earth. And what's similar is that we all do have some beings essence to us that just exists. And then we find our way. And I think,
Lisa (41:57)
this humanness that we're in together.
Gabrielli LaChiara (42:26)
In our work, we talk a lot about oppression and what it means to do, what happened in particular in the formation of the United States and how that divide and conquer and the birth of racism created samenesses in a way that were a lot of, in particular, white people. I'm a white woman, so I know from my internal perspective lost a lot of culture.
but also did this kind of thing of, you know, black and white is so finite and formed in boxes that I think set a lot emotion for people to try to keep their families feeling the same, feeling fit in, like in fitting in became so dire, you know, in terms of being able to survive the realities and not be different. And that goes across so many lines. So sometimes I use the word just to debunk the charge of it. It's like, on one level, I've never seen any two humans that feel the same to me. Like I've,
met so many people and worked with so many people so intimately and the feeling I get from each person is just so unique. You know, it's like, that's so special and sacred and incredible. And yeah, we're all in bodies doing the quirky dance of trying to figure out how to survive and where our survival pushes us into certain boxes or structures or away from them, right? So yeah, I just really appreciate it.
Lisa (43:46)
Yeah.
yes, all of that makes sense to me and my story with those words is maybe just a little bit different because for me I've been fixated on how different I am.
you know, and wanting to be different and being told that I'm different, like either in a negative way or in a superior way. And so I, I really have delves more deeply into just how normal, regular, banal, like when you just get to the guts of it, we're not that different.
Gabrielli LaChiara (44:13)
Right?
Yep. Right.
Lisa (44:42)
from each other and not to erase those social and cultural differences and the ways that...
you know, the different boxes and perceptions that people have of us and how we're treated differently in this world. Not to erase all of that, but just that part of myself that othered myself in a hierarchical way as also a white -bodied person. And also the part of myself that growing up in a home with an alcoholic and bipolar parent, I thought nothing of myself.
Gabrielli LaChiara (45:02)
Absolutely.
you
Lisa (45:25)
that was happening to me was normal or right and I felt very distant that just everything about myself was wrong and
Gabrielli LaChiara (45:37)
I am making so much sense to me. I'm so glad we unpacked that whole thing and that just, just bringing this part of you forward to the session feels so important to hear and feel and receive in the work you've done to show up for yourself. It's really powerful. Yeah. Really powerful. So just clearing anything not required so that you can take everything you know, you're so conscious and brilliant and I can feel the healer in you and your wisdom is like,
Lisa (45:42)
Mm -hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (46:07)
at your fingertips and you've worked so much in your life. I mean, it just feels like, I feel like you've worked so much in your life to be you already. And it's so incredibly potent to witness you. I feel deeply honored to be in process with you and holding this, because I can see where, yes, we're aiming at this one way in which you want more change, but I can also see that you've had a million other ways in which you've already changed, you know, and been able to like,
Lisa (46:34)
Love you, guys.
Gabrielli LaChiara (46:35)
get past resistances in yourself and you found ways to really honor and value and show up for yourself on this earth. And I just love it all. I really appreciate and admire you.
Thank you. Yeah.
Lisa (46:49)
Thank you so much. Yeah, I haven't done any of it by myself. So, you know, it's all these moments. Yeah, we really do.
Gabrielli LaChiara (46:54)
Yeah, we need each other, don't we? We need each other. We so need each other. I hope I know you forever. I just appreciate you. I feel like so many of us just need to be in the conversations and need to be places where we get to explore and change our minds about something we explored yesterday and do it different and do it the same and shake it all up and find something new. And yeah, I think, you know, tackling our feral.
Lisa (47:11)
Mm -hmm.
Gabrielli LaChiara (47:23)
Primal brains, it's complicated. And I think it's not a solo job. Those coping skills are built for good reason. You survived really hard shit. You just named some really hard shit you've lived through and were raised in. And of course you'd have a deeper survival groove that might not always let you get where you think you want to go and that it would take a little longer, a little more encouragement, a little more support to melt.
the coping skills that don't serve, you know, and really today we're just like holding the space for what might not serve you anymore so that you can see what does, you know, and play in that and just really appreciate your process. Yeah. And let's activate the divinity in you. And by that I just mean any way in which we can see that we belong to something so much bigger than ourselves.
in earth and spirit and form and activating that alive and bringing it through the center of you. Acknowledging, validating and appreciating all that you've already done to be you and to meet yourself and to heal. It invokes so much trust and faith in every step you take. And in this moment, I just want to like love the parts of you that have been stubborn or resistant or
maybe had to hold on to things that maybe even despite yourself it's had to do because those survival mechanisms worked. You're an incredible human being and you did that. Nobody did that to you. You developed that. So honoring those and inviting for you to know any places where those can just be one of many choices that you have in your survival and in your reaching to being even more alive and who you are.
and activate change and generate healing immediately. So many shivers.
beginning to come to the end of this and I'm just curious about how you're doing or what you might need.
Lisa (49:33)
Well, you said shivers, so I wanted to just recognize that I've had shivers for most of this, also mostly kind of behind my ears going up to like the crown of my head. I've felt for a lot of the time we've been together, especially in your, kind of in your blessings. Thank you.
Gabrielli LaChiara (49:40)
Mm -hmm.
Mm.
Mm. Mm.
Thank you. Yeah. Thank you so much.
I'm gonna just do that last activation one more time. Just offer that to you in the continued journey of being you. As I do that, just melt anything that, anything that you might think you've done wrong. You know, of course we can always look and take responsibility for things we wish we did differently or mistakes we've made. But I think a deeper wrongness I'm aiming at, which is like, you get to step in and feel that who you are,
is for all really good reasons. And they're powerful choices you've made.
And we'll activate the divinity in you again, bringing that into every single self who you are, that infinite being of you, the soul, spirit, body, earth, you. And we'll activate that divinity, bring it through the center of the whole being and through every part of you and through all time, spaces, dimensions and universes. Merging in the truth that we do, we are similar and same.
And that we are always maybe different complex little physical bodies, but also always merged, always participating, always receiving from the world and always giving to the world. And that your impact as a body is always happening just by being you. Just as a deer, just as a butterfly, just as the waterfalls happen. They exist and they affect us whether we see them or not.
and you exist and affect the nature of humankind just by being alive. And every step of healing and consciousness and every step of choice and love for a self or other ripples eternally and activate change and generate healing.
Thank you so, so much for being present with me today.
Lisa (52:09)
Thank you. It's a gift to be witness. Thank you.
Gabrielli LaChiara (52:10)
Is there anything else? So I appreciate you.
Chloe's Talk About Fern's Session (52:22)
What a beautiful session.
I was just so appreciating.
Lisa's presence and exploration and deep, deep care about humanity and showing up for the world and what that looks like and all of it, but also just the intimate, vulnerable, deep.
facets of it all. My goodness.
What an honor, what a privilege it is to listen in on these sessions, these conversations, these explorations. I'm just so inspired by people's courage and bravery to look within and to see and to feel and to really get curious about what's going on under there. What's going on in the unconscious subconscious.
worlds, what's going on in the body and what the soul is trying to communicate through and in, what the being is communicating and how it all works together.
I was really moved in this particular session by Lisa's...
deep commitment to like, wow, am I living up to my full potential? Like, what am I here to do? What contribution am I here to have? Or am I just, you know, gonna be this small life and if I die tomorrow, it's enough? And that either or back and forth, grandiose or super small.
And Gabriele speaks about that in the session, this either or thinking. And in this work, we really dive deeply into talking about either or thinking and the primal brain. And as episodes roll out, we'll talk more explicitly about the primal brain itself and the survival brain. But that either or thinking is such a telltale sign that there is trauma.
present or has been trauma in someone's life. And it can really instigate this deep oscillation back and forth between either this thing or that. Either I am a total piece of shit or I'm the most magnificent creature on the planet, but there's nothing in between. You hear it a lot.
with couples when they're fighting, it's like, you always do this or you never do that and blah, blah, blah. You know, it can really, when we're in a triggered state, like our primal brains are activated, we can go into either or thinking. But also when there's enough pervasive trauma or a big enough trauma that's happened in someone's life, it can then...
lead to an undercurrent of either or thinking, like these bigger grander either or thinkings that can happen underneath and that can really lead or can really impact how we're showing up in the world. And with Lisa, it was this piece around, am I living up to, can I be in my full potential?
And if I'm in my full potential, what does that mean? And having that kind of grandiose feeling of like, if I were living in my fullest potential, I'd be having a huge impact in the world or my nerve divergence, I could be able to show up in the world that other people do, or I could be more productive. Like all these ways in which it was showing up in these very small scale things and also bigger things and where it's like, wait a minute, where
Where did Lisa decide that, you know, being in their fullest potential is something to be perfected or something to be,
you know, something that it's like, wow, as Gabriele was saying in that part where they were talking about this of like, I'm either the most magnificent, fully 100 % potentiated person, or I'm just, I'm not at all, and I'm unproductive, and I'm this or I'm that, and where it was like, as she was saying, like, well,
Of course you're overwhelmed or it's challenging for you to step all the way into your full potential if the brain is going into that either or thinking of like, and then it has to be this huge, big, most 100 % potentiated version of myself ever. And it's like, well, wait a minute, how is that even attainable or possible in the next three hours? Right. And how it can take a lifetime to show up for that.
to really feel and know and be and live into our fullest potential and how the brain can make it feel like if I can't do that, then I can't do anything, right? I just know it so well. I know it so, so well where it's like, it's got to be this particular way or it's got to look this way or it's not okay, right?
I do it in my relationship, I do it with my family, I do it with myself. Of like, really getting grandiose or going the opposite and getting really small and really hard on myself. That's where my self -hatred kicks in. Where I'm like, if I can't do it exactly like this person that I'm seeing that somehow perfected it over here, then I'm horrible, you know? So,
I wanted to just have a conversation here about that and share a little bit about our perspective on it because I found it to be really helpful because I start to see and be able to feel in myself where, oops, oops, just went into either or thinking, oops, just went into big polarity in myself, oops, just said always or just said never, and maybe I need to reset for a moment.
Maybe I got stuck into that either or patterning or that polarity, that polarized way of thinking about things. And can I begin to, you know, whether that's ask a question or we use activations, which we'll speak more about, but that can start to help to dismantle the brain that wants to get really stuck in that either or.
a polarized place. And so a question actually helps to engage that prefrontal cortex in the place of us that can be curious and compassionate and start to see the rainbow sherbet in between, as Gabriele talks about, and the hundreds of options that might be in there that we're not aware of yet, or that isn't even in our consciousness as a possibility yet because we're so stuck in a rigid.
either or place. So inviting you to really just feel, are there places in your life where you notice that? Are there places in your life where you do go really, really small or get really, really down on yourself
super big and grandiose and then it's like so overwhelming you can't even begin to take the next step so you go binge watch the next Netflix series. I don't know anything about that. So, you know, really just feeling those places, noticing, seeing where that might be in there and getting curious. Like is there a way that I might be stuck in a...
and an either or patterning here and how do I maybe move into a question like, wow, what if this isn't what I think it is? Like, what else could it be? Okay, if I've only decided that this one thing is possible, is that actually true? And if it's not true, like, what would I know? Or what else might be in here for me to discover, for me to feel into, for me to be aware of?
and really just playing with that.
Hmm.
So I'm just taking a pause, because I find pauses to be very helpful in just that reset moment of like, wow, okay. Let me be in the curiosity, the reflection.
Let me see what might be true for me in all of this.
and thanking Lisa so much for showing up, for the courage and bravery and really what it then, what teachings it then can bring out
so that you can really show up and feel the healing that Lisa stirred in you.
Chloe's Convo About Jake's Episode (1:02:08)
saying a huge thank you to Allie Halpert, who's the amazing musician who wrote the songs that you hear in this podcast. We have had the privilege to be able to sing some of Allie's songs in our retreats and workshops, and they've been really powerful additions to our work with people. You can hear more of Allie's music and check out more about Allie on Allie's website, Allie Halpert.
That's A -L -Y -H -A -L -P -E -R -T dot com.