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Episode 12: Scottie Scheffler's Spaghetti Sunday:
- Shepherd's Victory: Diving into Sheppard's triumph in the "senior division" of the Net Championship amid swirling speculations.
- Unique Rewards: Exploring the charm of unconventional prizes like parking spots.
Introducing New Segments
- Panda's (Life on the Line): Starting December 1st, join Panda for a unique betting adventure.
- Scott Van Pelt Fridays: Albi sends a weekly message to Scott Van Pelt every Friday
- Swing Aid Saturdays: Albi dives into his war chest of swing aids and gives everyone his honest opinion
- Scottie Scheffler’s Spaghetti Sundays: "Scottie Can hit it off anything, including. a plate of pasta..." -Panda / Albi wants to see it
Main Topics
- TGL Update: Discussing the postponement of Tomorrow’s Golf League to 2025.
- Simulator Showdown: Debating whether a simulator pro can outperform a real pro in a virtual setting.
- Whimsical Experiment: Imagining the dynamics of hitting a golf ball off a pile of spaghetti.
- Giveaway Reveal: 9 minutes in, discover how to double your chances in our latest giveaway.
Special Mentions
- Shepherd's Shenanigans: Recapping Shepherd's hilarious prank on Abi after a bet victory.
- Chris’s Insight (34-minute mark): Chris, a new friend of the show: GENERATIONS AT WAR - Lebron James / Michael Jordan
- Lou Stagner, the 'Stat Guy': Honoring Lou Stagner’s significant contributions to golf analytics -best stat in golf's history CALVIN PETE
- Golf Legends Tribute: Reflecting on the legacies of Calvin Pete and Mo Norman.
Sponsor Segments
- High Noons Thanks (36 minutes): A special acknowledgment and a sneak peek into the upcoming Swing Aid Saturday.
Fun Segments
- Stump the Panda: Test your knowledge in this challenging and fun segment.
- Panda's Dilemma: Deliberating whether Panda should legally change his name or get a panda-themed tattoo.
Serious Moments
- Albi's Journey: Discussing Albi’s health challenges, including his struggle with reading and on-air and is he having "seizures" live?
- Golfing Greats: Celebrating the remarkable consistency of golf legends Calvin Pete and Mo Norman.
Financial Insights
- Golf’s Economy: Breaking down golf’s cost per swing, with Sheppard’s average at $1.90, albie coming in around 3.08 Paid, meanwhile
- Tennis Sponsorships and Economics: Offering insights into the financial world of tennis and drawing parallels with James Conrad's "JESUS" and his resemblance to Albi.
And finally, we can't forget Stump the Panda, everyone's favorite segment! Panda's golf knowledge is second to none, and he's ready to tackle any trivia challenge. Can you stump him? Give it a try!
Creators & Guests
Host
Billy Heiser "Shepherd", "Koala", "Mayor"
Billy Heiser, Dad, Husband, Entrepreneur, Business Tycoon, Professional Sports Performance Guru, Coached Multiple Top 10 Tennis Players, Grand Slam Champions, and Olympic Gold Medalist. Superpower: Bringing people together, making stuff happen. Sheppard is a leader… hints the name SHEPPARD
Host
What is Did I Tell You About My Albatross?
Host "Albi" made a 1/600 million, walk-off albatross (2 on a par 5) to win a 2 day golf tournament in Tampa, FL. So he started a podcast to tell the world about it and to find/share stories like his.
Welcome to ‘Did I Tell You About My Albatross’, the golf podcast that delves into the most incredible, improbable, and downright mind-blowing moments in golf.
Every episode feels like teeing it up with your favorite foursome, filled with laughter, storytelling, and the camaraderie that makes golf so unique.
The inception of this podcast is rooted in one of golf’s rarest feats: a walk-off albatross. In the 2020 Member-Member tournament at Carrollwood Country Club in Tampa, Florida, Albi (Host) defied 1 in 600 million odds, making a 2 on the final par 5, last hole/ last shot securing a miraculous win. This monumental shot wasn’t just a game-changer on the course; it transformed Albi’s life.
Join Albi and his Co-hosts: Sheppard (pro athlete whisperer/performance coach guru), and Panda (PGA Teaching Professional) as they uncover the best "did i tell you about...." moments in and around golf.
Discover the magic, the mayhem, and the moments that make golf the incredible game it is.
Scottie Scheffler could hit balls off of a pile of spaghetti.
All right.
So one of the goals of this podcast is sort of shifted.
We really are at some point are going to get Scottie Scheffler to hit a golf ball off a bowl of pasta.
I don't even think it needs to be spaghetti.
I think penne would work.
I think angel hair would be hilarious.
Do we have a Monday social plug?
Cause that could be it.
Okay.
All right.
Where we hit balls off pasta?
No, where we get Scottie Scheffler to do it.
All right.
We'll probably need to do it ourselves for the first few weeks until we get traction, but then... No, you just talk to the camera about Scottie Scheffler trying to hit balls off a pile of spaghetti.
All right.
Here, let me write this down.
I love it.
All right.
Pasta Mondays.
No, wait, wait.
I think it should be all... It could be Scottie Scheffler Spaghetti Sunday.
All S's.
Right?
Scotty Schaeffler Spaghetti Sundae.
Welcome to another episode of Did I Tell You About My Albatross?
I'm your host, Albie.
This is the goth podcast for honest degenerates.
It's like teeing up with your favorite foursome every week and diving into the best stories in and around goth.
You guys ready to tee off?
Let's go!
Oh, frozen ropes.
Dude, I'm seeking, I'm not Spider-Man over here.
I'm just, I'm just trying to, but my thing, my point is, is that I, yes.
That should be the, that should be the intro to this episode.
Welcome, welcome, welcome everyone to another episode of, Did I Tell You About My Albatross?
I'm your host, Albie.
And boy, do we have a good one for you tonight.
I got my boys back.
Shepard say hey, what's up?
Walla.
We still don't know the name.
We're gonna figure it out eventually panda And is always here.
He's good.
He's how you doing, buddy.
Good.
Oh
All right.
He's always good.
He's always great.
Um, yeah, we got an exciting one.
I think we've got a lot.
We got a lot to catch up on.
Let's just start there, man.
Let's just catch up on some things.
So congratulations, man.
I heard, I mean, I heard the good news actually tonight.
I didn't even know about it, but you're, you're the club champ.
You're the club champ over at Carowind.
No, I would be the net club champion.
That counts.
Of the champions division.
Of the champions division.
So the senior division.
No, no.
The net club champion.
Okay.
All right.
That's good.
All right, cool.
Well, congratulations on that.
You don't get a parking spot.
You don't get a parking spot or anything.
So that's the big coveted thing at our club.
At least is the parking spot.
Is that, is that like better?
I would think that the parking spot would be probably like the best trophy you can get, like screw the hardware, except the Albatross trophy, which we're going to get eventually here for, well,
I think the parking spots that they chose are arguably the worst parking spots you could choose in the parking lot.
Why?
Because you have to walk around the trees to get to... Yeah.
Yeah, and the bushes.
Yeah, it doesn't make much sense.
That's... It makes no sense where they chose those spots.
It's close, though.
You have to walk through some gravel and everything to get... Yeah, but... No, those are bad spots.
They should have the spots in the roundabout and the only people who can park in the roundabout are the people who earn the parking spots.
The circle of champions.
Yeah, exactly.
Like you get a strip of the pavement.
You get a curb.
Because that's where I park.
So even if I won the parking spot, I'd still park in the roundabout because it's closer.
Especially to Cypress One when you're running behind.
But you'd have a sign there that said Club Champ.
That's what I want.
I want people to know.
Maybe I'll just make my own and put it right in my spot because I'm the only one who ever parks there.
That spot is always available.
That's a great idea.
You could put the net, you could put the net Senior Champ, whatever you want to put on the sign.
That thing is a great idea.
We've got some new segments that we're going to start rolling out and we've, we've kind of tied some of these down.
So I wanted to talk through those tonight.
In fact, I actually wanted to kick off
and actually get one of these scheduled.
And we've talked about these, the one of them on a couple other pods, the DGEN special, which I'm so stoked about.
Panda, have you heard about this and you know a little bit about it?
Yeah.
Okay.
So for the people that, for whatever reason, didn't tune in last time, Panda, why don't we explain it one more time?
Let's pick a date.
Let's actually do it.
We're gonna get you funded.
And then we're gonna have, I think we need to set up like a cadence on how often you need a diary or something like that to report back to us.
I think we need to do some, you know, we'll do some remote check-ins.
But why don't you roll through what what you have carved out?
What I have carved out is how long can I keep myself afloat on a fairly nominal amount of money?
Will being able to increase or decrease that amount of money by strictly gambling it Do you have to live off that money like pay bills like eat?
Yeah, I mean that's up for you know, I for sure have to eat catch a buzz daily.
I
Yeah, I have to get drunk every day.
I don't know.
I feel bad about making, like, drunk is, I feel like you just have to have a few drinks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I don't want you to like, I don't want you to become an alcoholic.
Maybe we could find the, in the budget for like a breathalyzer and I have to hit point.
I have to hit above the driving limit.
Oh, we should definitely include a breathalyzer.
We'll just pay for it.
That's not going to come out of your money.
So like when you and I golf and we have our normal 50, 50, 50 match, does that count?
Yeah.
Yeah, that counts, but like I only have X amount of dollars for however long.
So if I take 200 off of you, I'd feel really bad.
No, it's part of the process.
Well, and eventually I have more physical money.
I won't like die.
Oh, I know that.
Well, so he'll have to tap out.
So what'll happen is he'll go for a certain amount of time.
He'll either run out of money,
Oh, and then it just starts again.
Die?
No, no, no.
He's done.
That's the end of the contest.
We're just trying to see how far he goes.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
I think it just goes again, and there's like... But he's always gonna constantly be living.
It could definitely be multiple series.
Yeah.
It doesn't have to be one.
We should do seasons.
We should do seasons of this thing.
I like that.
See, I don't think he should have to eat and, like, live off of it.
Let's say he has, he gets, I don't know, 250 bucks or 500 bucks to gamble with.
How long can he keep that money, keep gambling with that money?
That's it.
That's the goal.
Then I don't have to, like, film myself, I guess, like... Then he doesn't have to eat with it, he doesn't have to drink with it.
...washing myself with, like, hand soap.
Yeah, yeah.
He just has...
Whatever the money is, we come up with, and that's what he has to see how long he can be going.
So let's say he lasts, you know, 26 days.
Well, that's episode one, 26 days.
Can he beat the streak?
Does he have to bet daily?
Yeah, for sure.
On something.
On something, right.
Yeah.
It could be quarters.
It could be like arm wrestling.
It could be anything.
Yeah.
Okay.
I like that.
I like that a lot.
But then he's not having to live off of that money or like live off of what he's...
I like that.
Yeah.
Cause if it's a $250 thing and he plays golf and he has a bad day and he loses 200 bucks, he's got $50 to then eat until he can figure out how to make it make more.
Yeah.
I kind of like that.
Uh, no, no, no.
I think I, I like, I like your, I like your deal better.
I think he's going to go like, I got more faith in Panda than even Panda.
I'm going to press.
So much, yeah.
But you can decline, I mean, you can make your own bet.
Like, so I just, when I think of Panda, I think of, like, he's exactly what the sign says behind me here, like a honest degenerate.
He is, when I look up, actually, when you look up degenerate, it's got a picture of Panda and he's like, and he's right there.
And I think he's actually gonna be, I think he's a very good bettor.
I think he's a very good gambler.
Is bettor a word?
Like a better, better?
Like I'm feeling better?
I mean, no, like, yeah, a better?
B-E-T-T-O-R?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, probably.
That's a word.
In North Carolina.
Man, we gotta work on that.
That's definitely a word.
All right, I love this segment.
Yeah, it's a good segment.
Let's go ahead and iron it out.
What's that called?
Well, we wanted to workshop the name.
Can we chat GPT the name real quick here?
Do you got chat GPT humming?
Yeah.
Stay tuned everyone because one of the segments we're getting ready to roll out here in a few minutes is gonna be Bamboo bets pandas picks.
That's right folks Panda is not only a degenerate gambler when it comes to golf He also knows pretty much all there is about gambling just in general on most sports Including football and I think what you got a couple you got a couple for us this weekend there for this this week, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
I got a couple, a couple of different sports.
I mean, no.
Oh, just football.
I can make it as many sports as you want.
You probably know cricket.
You probably know like highlight.
Um, yeah, there's a few good ones.
There's life on the line.
Pandas wagering experiment.
Yes.
Something like that.
Life.
I love that.
Life on the line, panda's bedding experiment.
Panda's bedding story, something like that.
What else do we have?
I think that's good.
I mean, I'm happy with life on the line.
And that is going to be when, when do you want to do it?
Now we got Turkey Day coming up.
So we want to make sure that we take that in consideration.
I don't think it really matters.
We have to figure out what the dollar amount is.
Yeah.
You got to give me football season for sure.
Yeah.
I mean, Thanksgiving to your point earlier is like perfect for this.
I mean, you're going to get a lot of football going on.
And he's saying I don't have to use it to eat.
The original idea was like, yeah, like that's all I get.
If I need gas, that's where the money's coming from.
I think we could get to that point.
Yeah.
You know, I think we could get there.
Let's see how this goes.
But then I would almost need like a camera crew.
Yeah.
To like follow me around everywhere.
Be like, oh, he bought anything.
He just gets, we just have a, we have a Google spreadsheet.
You track all of your bets, wins, losses, and we get to see how it's going.
Yeah.
We get to track it.
Okay.
All right.
Is this legal?
Is this legal?
No idea.
Okay.
Right.
Awesome.
Okay.
Sure.
We'll figure that part out later.
What's the date?
When do you want to do this, dude?
Are you looking at your calendar?
Well, Thanksgiving's the 23rd.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I'd start Black Friday.
I'm thankful for this segment.
Same.
Yeah.
The 27th is Monday.
It's Cyber Monday.
Speaking of Cyber Monday, be sure to check out DITYAMA.FM or DIDITELLYABOUTMYALBATRASS.COM for all of your DITYAMA gear.
We also, oh, one thing we can catch up- Is there a Black Friday sale?
Actually, there is one thing that we're doing, and that is we are giving away, we started our first contest since last time we all got together, and that's exciting.
We had the Marker Locker guys on for anyone that missed this last episode.
They've actually got a really cool product.
they didn't pay us or anything to do with this.
I literally just genuinely liked the guys and I thought it was an interesting concept.
They've got this locker.
I didn't even know, did you guys know the whole world of markers, how crazy it is?
There is a whole underground world, not underground, but there's a whole- Markers, like?
Like ball markers.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, there's a whole, multiple high-end places that you can get just all kinds of random, crazy, unique ball markers.
for like some start at 20, 30 bucks all the way to hundreds, thousands.
The guys that were on here, they had really cool ones.
They had like one that was like a Game Boy one.
Like it was a Dino Golf, which was an old school Nintendo golf game.
So what is the golf ball marker locker?
So the marker locker is a place for you to keep these like high-end markers or any marker really for that matter.
And it's basically a little, it's a little locker.
It looks like a locker, like this big.
And I'll flash it up on YouTube.
But it's, but basically it's a, and then it's got a magnetic strips inside.
It's also got this little mechanism where you can put the, like the poker chips.
You can slide those in and then you push in and it'll pop back out, you know?
So it keeps them all in one place.
So where do you keep the locker?
So you can keep the locker, you can attach it to like a carabiner on your bag.
Oh, okay.
Or, you know, you can keep, you know, or similar.
So,
I mean, I thought it was a pretty cool concept.
Anyway, we're giving away, I was able to get six of them, and so we're giving those away.
We just started the contest.
Go to, yeah, any of our, you know, dittyama.fm or any of our handles to basically go to this other link that you can do different things.
Like one, actually, one of the code words, in fact, if you enter this code word, sellout, all one word,
all lowercase, you will get a hundred extra entries into the contest.
And also if you sign up for the podcast and subscribe, you'll get another 25 or something like that.
So there's lots of different ways to get more.
All right, so that's coming down the pike now.
All right, let's get into a couple other segments.
So we're also gonna be rolling out the SVP Wednesday, Scott Van Pelt Wednesday, where every single Wednesday, I'm gonna hop on to a video, I'm gonna send Scott Van Pelt a message about my albatross, and I'm gonna tell the story.
And I'm gonna tell it a little differently every single Wednesday, and I'm gonna do it every single week until he actually
either interviews me until Instagram or Insta or IG or whatever shuts down or I die.
Those are the three scenarios.
Then we're also, one of the other segments is Swing 8 Saturday.
So I've got, as you know, tons of Swing 8s and we're going to be breaking down every single Swing 8.
37 by your count.
37 Swing 8s is what I counted.
Not as many putters as I have.
Yes.
Yes.
So we're going to be breaking down every, I'm going to tell, I'm going to give everyone my honest review on it.
Like I'm not getting compensated on any of this stuff.
Um, I'm going to give them my honest review, panic and come over the top and say, ah, you know, this is what real people would use it for.
This is what, you know, it could fix.
This is how you actually use it.
You know, I think that'd be pretty cool, but we're going to be doing that every Saturday.
So look out for that.
And then I have a preview of one, like what's like, yeah,
I do, actually.
No, like, okay, so... It's got to be you just rifling balls under that little net behind us.
That little board you sometimes bring out on the court.
Divot board.
Shout out to divot board.
Can you give me, like, a 1 to 10 rating on the divot board?
Yeah, yeah.
What is it?
Oh, 1 to 10.
So, that was one thing is, like, the scale.
I was going to give it 2 albatrosses, or, like, I was going to use albatrosses as a scale, 1 to 5.
I would give that one a 4.
I actually think the divot board is very effective.
Yeah, I do.
I think it's one of the best ones.
I think it's one of the best ones.
There's so much, we were talking about today when we were playing with Carter, like, there's so many junk swing aids out there.
Like, there's so many bad ones.
Some are good.
I mean, the divot board's great.
Wow, so you're starting high.
Yeah, I mean, that one's a good one.
I mean, I'm not doing the divot board first.
I actually did this laser beam thing.
I was just curious what, like, the scale was gonna be.
I think it's one to five.
I think I'd be good.
I think you might need to go higher than five so there's more room.
Oh, you think we need more specificity?
Mm-hmm.
Jeez.
One to a hundred.
We're not long in this podcast and there are three very questionable words.
Hey, we'll get better.
All right.
So let's go ahead and dive into the one, the one piece I did want to cover with you guys was just the new, uh, the new golf league, Tiger's new golf league.
What are you guys, what's your take on it here?
Do you know what it stands for?
Tell me.
No, you actually don't know.
I don't know.
No.
I should've looked it up.
Oh, everyone thinks it stands for like Tiger's golf league.
That's what I thought it was.
Yeah.
No, it's tomorrow's golf league.
Really now is he do you tomorrow ventures is like Tigers like with Rory venture company is it with Rory?
It do you think he was trying to do this to to really compete against live and now that they're merged Is that kind of a weird thing?
No, this probably couldn't have come together.
It had to have taken time to get this together.
So I don't think it was like a, Oh my God lives here.
Let's do this type of thing.
Can we go to one of these?
Let's go to one.
Well, they're all in the same place.
They're all in West Palm.
Yeah, yeah, I know, that's what I mean, but we should look at tickets.
Did you see the building collapse though today?
No.
Yeah.
Seriously?
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Well, because it's like a kind of like a dome looking building.
Yeah.
And something happened when the roof caved in.
They said it's too early to tell if it's going to push back their start date.
Oh, let's take a look here.
Everyone's snow on the roof and West Palm.
No.
Uh, cocaine snow.
Sure.
Probably.
Uh, let's just take a look here and see what happens.
Let's see if I can even share my screen here.
But yeah, it's, it's the tech is supposed to be pretty cool.
They play on real grass, so it's not artificial.
There's a hundred and I think it's 149
Hydraulic like pumps below the putting surface to change the green complexes to give different reads and different breaks for putts.
The screen is, I think they said the screen is, I thought they said 40.
They say it's not going to delay the start by the way.
Okay.
Yeah.
And the screen is like way out there.
It's not like a hitting into like a track man screen where it's like, you hear the ball and then hear the sound of the screen.
So you actually will get to see some ball flight.
Yeah.
It should be pretty cool.
Yeah.
It seems pretty crazy.
I think the, um, the, the putting green I've seen a lot on social lately, like the little thing that bends and kind of like sick.
Yeah.
I kind of want one of those, but we don't can't have room in the shed here.
Yeah, that'll be pretty cool.
All right.
And the format's pretty cool too.
Maybe we shouldn't go.
I mean, the whole thing collapsed.
I mean, look at that.
If you're inside that, that's going to hurt.
I feel like they'd get that sorted.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If it collapsed on us, we'd get some settlement money.
Yeah, that'd be better, probably easier than sponsorship money.
But the thing is, if Tiger isn't one of the matches, because the matches are every Monday, if he's not playing, is it going to get viewers?
I mean, they've got some pretty big names.
I mean, I don't know.
I would think so.
But do you think Rahm backed out because they joined with Liv?
Or he knew they were going to
You might have just got busy, man.
No, I think it's tough because he lives on the West Coast and this is all on the East Coast.
The entire tour PGA tour that starts at the start of the year is on the West Coast.
Yeah.
So all those guys that live out West that signed up for TGL.
Are playing west coast tournaments flying to east coast for a monday night thing Flying back to the west coast to go home and then prep for a tournament.
I think that's a lot.
That is a lot Do you think here's an albie question for you?
Do you think that?
Someone who's a professional which they have these by the way.
I look this up.
This is kind of crazy Do you think someone who's a professional?
simulator player Could beat a professional pga player in a simulator
I have no idea.
Like how good the Asian dudes who like just play on the inside screen golf thing.
What's that?
Who are, who is this legion of professional simulator golfers that you speak of?
Uh, there is like a, there's a league.
I mean, so car, we were playing golf day with Carter.
Shout out to Carter.
Thanks for listening.
He actually watches Carter does watch and listen.
Um, yeah.
So he was saying that he thought that there's a league that they make thousands of dollars.
I mean, you can actually make some money.
And then that brought up the golden tee thing.
I have a cousin of mine that he actually went some money out in Vegas playing golden tee.
Well, Bald Eagle is a very good... Well, you know who else is, is Kangaroo.
Kangaroo.
I've watched them play.
You've watched them play together against each other?
Who won?
Yeah, at Streamsong.
They only played a few holes, but I think Brad was winning.
Ooh, I love Golden Tee.
I'm probably not as good as those guys.
Yeah, it was...
They're like, they know how to like, they put like this, like all the spin on the ball and like, like a four.
It's different level than what I play.
I just am worried about whacking my wrist on the table when I try and hit the little ball forward.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I catch my fingers and like, yeah, you can hurt yourself.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
But anyway, so I, I don't know.
I mean, as far as a simulator league, there is a simulator league.
I don't know.
I think, I think the simulator guys destroy the PGA guys in a simulator contest.
I really do.
I wish they would have that I wish that would be like there's just no chance.
You don't think so No, you don't oh you think you think the PGA guys would destroy them.
Yeah, you're still having to hit a golf ball No, they're not a yard.
They're hitting off mats and they I'm telling you dude.
It's a different It's a different play for I absolutely think Scotty Shuffler could hit balls off of a pile of spaghetti.
Yeah
All right, so one of the goals of this podcast has sort of shifted.
We really, at some point, are going to get Scotty Scheffler to hit a golf ball off a bowl of pasta.
I don't even think it needs to be spaghetti.
I think penne would work.
I think angel hair would be hilarious.
Do we have a Monday social plug?
Because that could be it.
Okay, all right.
Where we hit balls off pasta?
No, where we get Scotty Scheffler to do it.
All right, we'll probably need to do it ourselves for the first few weeks until we get traction, but then after that... No, you just talk to the camera about Scotty Scheffler trying to hit balls off a pile of spaghetti.
All right, here, let me write this down.
Every Monday... This is unbelievable.
Scotty Scheffler Pasta Mondays.
T-shirt.
I love it.
All right, pasta Mondays.
No, wait, wait.
I think it should be all, it could be Scotty Schaeffler Spaghetti Sunday.
All S's.
Right?
Scotty Schaeffler Spaghetti Sunday.
Oh, I love you guys.
I've missed you so much.
Of course.
This is the kind of stuff I love.
All right, so Scotty Schaeffler Spaghetti Sunday.
I love that idea.
All right, we'll do that.
But I think we should try to hit some balls off spaghetti at some point.
Sure.
And I think another another one I want to try to squeeze in there from time to time is we're going to try to get a couple of like, what is what is Panda seeing this week in the realm of amateur?
He worked on my swing this week.
What is he seeing in the realm of like, you know, just broken swings?
Like, I think I like that.
I think that'd be fun to kind of see.
Get some get some feedback.
I want to see Panda hit some balls off spaghetti with the divots he's taking out there.
Oh, is he getting down on the ball?
He's getting down.
He's developing chronic wrist issues for how much down he's hitting on the golf ball right now.
That is semi-true.
I love, I love, what would it be like to hit a ball off Spaghetti?
Fine if you catch the ball first.
Yeah, probably be just fine.
You'd probably be really good at it.
I'm a flipper, so I'm gonna probably, exactly.
You might not even catch a noodle.
Flip into the noodles.
Dude, maybe I should just start, maybe I should just start bringing spaghetti around.
Instead of teeing up your ball, you should just fucking wrap some spaghetti like this and just plop it on top of it.
I love it.
Alla dente, or what are we talking here?
Just pull pasta out of your pocket, mid-round.
Okay.
I'm on it, dude.
Don't say I won't.
Cause I'm definitely going to have a place spaghetti out there at Carol.
It'll be another swing.
A we're actually in speaking of swing aids, we're actually going to be selling our newest swing.
It's called the spaghetti special.
It's a comes in a package.
It doesn't deteriorate.
You'll see it.
We're coming out soon.
Stay tuned.
All right.
Okay.
So that's interesting.
I love it.
Love it.
Anything else on the, on tigers, new golf league, other than we're going to go to a collapsed dome here pretty soon.
It's looking good.
It looks like they're coming along with it.
Look at this thing.
I don't know how that doesn't delay you.
I mean the webbing and stuff.
They should probably go a little bit stronger steel on that.
I don't know what's happening there Speaking of domes have you guys seen this Vegas dome?
This fear the sphere seems amazing.
Yeah, did you watch that natural Netflix thing?
Oh?
No, I was gonna ask about that.
Did you did you saw it?
No?
Oh?
Trick me dude.
Well, I did see some clips of it I did see some clips where they're like running around crazy doing some weird shit.
Like yeah, I saw that I didn't see it.
I think it's like it's like the first part of the new full swing episode It was there's f1 in Vegas this week.
So I was not broadcasted.
No, it was I think they covered it live, but you can still watch it They did it live and it is and yes the f1 def one guys paired up with the yeah
Yeah, the PGA guys when it becomes that I tune out because yeah I just become like it's my job to watch people who are not that great at golf a golf ball So like I don't really want to watch the f1 guys hit golf ball.
You're a formula one guy Yeah, they were saying that they were it's weird like this I mean that seems like it's gonna be a good race seems like it's gonna be kind of cool But it's at 3 a.m.
In the morning
Yeah, it's some super random time.
I don't know when it is exactly.
And they said they still had 10,000 tickets to sell, but they invested like tons of money into it because it's bringing like one point some billion every year to Vegas.
So I don't know, man.
It's kind of crazy.
They need to figure something out with that one, though, because it's getting when Lewis is winning everything.
Everyone was wanting to watch because Lewis is captivating and like can entertain an audience.
But with fucking Verstappen winning every race, he's so boring.
Oh, yes.
So boring is Hamilton.
Is he still doing it?
Yeah.
But but Red Bull has the best car by miles.
So Verstappen is winning everything.
Man, and he's just not like personable.
It's like he's not Capturing audiences where Lewis was like, yeah, he's an icon So everyone wanted to watch him and wanted to watch him win Do you think it's cuz he hasn't I mean another guy has an accent, too I'm just thinking people with accents like I mean, he's Dutch.
So he has an accent.
Oh the guy is Dutch.
Yeah.
All right He's just boring as fuck Okay, and a little bit of a dick.
He's not what is he one of the golfers that this he okay.
All right good
Welcome to Stump the Panda, everyone's favorite segment on Did I Tell You About My Albatross.
From a shed in Tampa, come stomp the Panda Panda Panda's got the facts, he's second to none Goff trivia, what Panda Man is always fun Goff history, do it with a twist of flair Try, try to stomp the Panda Man if you dare From knowing Goffa's mom's names and many tours too How Panda knows these answers, man, I got no clue Warm shots to Jaeger if he gets it wrong If you're over 21 at home, join along
Stompin' the panda is hard to do When it comes to golf history, he's our dude From a shed in Tampa, let's stomp the panda Stompin' the panda can be hard to do From a shed in Tampa, coming straight to you Stomp the panda, stomp, stomp the panda
I know I, for one, love this segment.
And man, I think overall you've absolutely destroyed the house on this one.
Like it's unbelievable what you know.
And Koala's even stepping up to the plate here.
Shepard on, he's thinking, he thinks he can keep up.
We'll see.
Can I ask a quick question?
Running out of questions here.
Did you write that email yourself?
No, no, no.
That was sent by Mike 100%.
That actually came from Michael?
That did come from Michael, yeah.
Pretty bad.
I think it came from you.
No, no, I would.
I mean, I'd tell you if it did.
Controversy.
Can I just tell you guys what what this dude did to me?
Like, I just I don't even want to.
I didn't want to bring it up, dude.
All right, let me just get to it.
All right, let me just hang on.
We're going to come back to some of the panic because I just want to get this off my chest.
It's been rotten at my soul, dude.
Cause like I, I, I, first of all, it was super embarrassing.
Like I made a complete idiot of myself because of you and it hurt.
Like it actually really hurt.
And I was messed up.
I was actually talking to my, my barber today about it and how, how much it messed me up.
So, so yeah, the other day we were on the course and we're playing a bet.
I was betting against Mr. Mr. Shepard here.
And I don't even know the scenario.
Like I don't even know who I was playing with.
I can't remember.
I think maybe you blacked out.
I forget who we were playing with, but I know with Timmy and you and I can't remember who else was there anyway.
It was we it came down.
We were we were kind of we were up.
I think one we were up one hole or something.
And oh, Grady, I was we were playing with Grady.
That's right.
That's right.
Yeah.
And so long story short, we're you know, we're up.
Grady and I are up somehow by one one hole and we're going into like this par five.
And then I don't know.
I mean, like normal on every hole, the Albatross came up somehow and
And then you said something pretty mean you you want to go ahead and tell everyone what you said I just said I was like dude.
I I I'm hearing rumors that this albatross that member member never happened and Nick and Andy just put the ball in the hole when you were driving up and just it blew up so they never came clean to you But like it just never happened
Like that, dude.
So then I'm like, I started laughing at it because I mean, obviously I know it's real.
You stared.
You're crippled.
No, no, no.
Guys, Albie stared into my soul waiting for me to like, like smirk or wink or smile or like let him know that I was joking.
And I was like, no, dude, I'm dead serious.
Like, that's just what I heard.
And he was.
Yeah.
And you said you and then I'm like, then I wanted to drill in because I'm like, at first I thought he was joking.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, man, that's funny.
Let me hit this.
And of course, I bladed my chip shot over the green.
I start completely falling apart, like immediately.
It's such a clever, it's such a clever but mean play.
But like I do, it literally worked like instantly.
I blade my chip over the green, I end up bogeying a hole that I was there in two on, and then I just completely melted down.
And then it wasn't even just melting down on the golf course, just melting down at the sole core of my beam there for a while.
I just started thinking, I'm like, that's impossible.
Of course, he's just joking or whatever, but then you played it off pretty good, and then I'm like, I don't know, man, this is pretty far away.
I didn't necessarily see it go in the cup, and I'm like, that is so, that would be, then I started thinking, I'm like, dude, did they just like,
Like, would they just tell me that?
And then, like, would they just tell me that and then they didn't realize I was gonna make such a big deal and start a podcast and, like, completely, like, reach out to Scott Van Pelt once a week and completely change my entire life?
Like, I've literally shifted my entire life based on this shot.
Like, I believe anything's possible.
I think that it's completely changed my perspective on everything.
And then they probably didn't expect all that.
They probably didn't think that would, so then I'm thinking, maybe they just, and then they're like, dude, we're too far invested.
We can't back out at this point.
So then I'm running through all this in my head, and I'm like, they made me a cheater?
What is going on here?
I'm like, dude, why would they make me cheat in the tournament?
This is so, I was disgusted with our buddy who did this.
I literally was texting him.
I'm like, dude, what is going on here?
I'm getting all this feedback saying.
So yeah, it wasn't me who yes, it wasn't my idea to start the rumor.
It was our other buddy.
Yes Scotch Nick Yeah to start the rumor and he just he was like guy was playing with him an event the weekend prior and he was like hey What if like this rumor just started circulating that Albee's Albatross never happened?
I love this guy for this kind of print but like
But I mean, I don't know, like after the fact, like it took me a couple of weeks, now I'm good.
A couple of weeks.
I'm good.
I'm just now like, I'm just now good, dude.
Like it's not something that I was able to like, I didn't take a shower and it washed off.
Like it was like.
But both Andy and Nick called me.
Later that afternoon, they were like, what the fuck did you do to Brandon?
I reached out to Ocean Knight pretty aggressively.
I'll be completely honest about it.
Ocean Knight's one of my good friends.
So I'm like, dude, what is going on here?
What am I hearing?
He's like, what are you talking about?
He had no idea what was going on.
And I'm like, I just need you.
He wasn't telling me what I need to hear.
I'm like, I just need you to tell me.
You saw it.
You're the one that saw it.
You saw it go in.
You tell me that.
And he started laughing.
He didn't tell me right away.
And I'm like, oh my God, dude.
Oh my God.
I start like literally, I was getting ready to throw, like, I know it sounds stupid.
It's all right.
I may edit all this out.
I don't know.
But I was like, I literally got sick to my stomach and I'm like, all right.
And then he's like, dude, they're cold.
They're totally fucking with you.
Like, don't worry about it.
I saw it go in, of course.
But I could, I could have like, that made me feel so much better.
And I'm like, okay.
So then I had to apologize to everybody.
It was a fucked up trick, dude.
It really was good though.
It was, it was hilarious.
It was good.
It was good for you guys.
And then you ended up winning the bet.
All right.
Sorry.
Back to Stump the Panda.
Everyone's favorite segment, Stump the Panda.
Okay.
Who won the Butterfield Classic?
Like most recently?
Yeah.
What is the Vizagas?
When was the last time he won?
2014 window.
I knew that.
Me too.
Who won the week before?
What was the week before?
The Shriners?
Yeah.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I didn't do that.
Ah, see, I know it.
Ask me that one.
Boom.
All right, let's go.
Eric Van Royen.
Ooh, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Prescott's family.
What is the name of one of the first golf organizations in the world?
They would help define the first official rules of golf in 1744.
The Royal and Ancient Club?
The R and A?
The R and A. Love the piggyback.
You're not going to wait for the... I can give you multiple choice here if you want.
Let me do that because that's not right.
The Professional Golf Association of Scotland, the Royal Society of Scottish Golfers, the Honorable Company of Edinburgh Golfers,
The Highlanders Country Club.
Whatever C was.
That is correct.
In this year's Ryder Cup, Team Europe employed a analytics specialist who was also a former player.
Oh, really?
Do you know who that is?
Yeah, it's Francesco Molinari's brother, Eduardo.
Yeah, correct.
Wow.
Wow, Panda, fantastic.
In 1980s, only one PGA player won two Masters titles.
Who was it?
Was it Ben Crenshaw, Steve Ballesteros?
That's Seve.
Bernard Langer?
Seve.
Oh, let me just redo that one.
In the 1980s, only one PGA player won two Masters titles.
Who was it?
Ben Crenshaw?
Ballesteros.
Bernard Langer.
Bernhard.
Fuck.
Bernhard.
That is a fucking terrible name.
You don't know who Bernhard Langer is?
I do.
I just called him Bernhard.
Whatever I just said a minute ago.
Jesus Christ.
You also called him Steve Ballesteros.
In the 1980s, only one PGA player won two Masters titles.
Who was it?
Was it Crenshaw, Ballesteros, Langer, or Faldo?
I think it was Bernhard Langer.
Okay, you're locking that in?
Is that a lock?
Okay, it's a panda lock.
What are you doing?
Crenshaw.
Well, you know the names.
We don't have to go through that again.
I'll go with Steve Ballesteros.
It's actually Seve.
It's Ballesteros.
Yes!
Wow, that is fantastic.
Wow, I did not see that coming.
Jack Nicklaus won back-to-back Masters Championships.
What is wrong with me?
Jack Nicklaus won back-to-back Masters Championships in what years?
1965.
That is the answer, I just told you.
Next This might be the best segment you can't bring LB.
Whatever you can't edit Anyway, so yeah No, no, no none of it no
Mm-hmm in the 1990s.
Oh, this is problem.
He's so young.
He doesn't know what the 90s are.
Yeah speaking of I met someone today that that was working with us helping us with the pod and Shout out to our boy Chris who's helping us.
I don't know who he is He claims that he claims that that LeBron is better than Jordan and I think this is totally a generation gap
No, he's not.
He's actually helping us.
We love him.
Oh, you're dead to me, Chris.
Don't ever talk to me.
Yeah, he's full.
By the way, Shepard's from Chicago, so.
I also think Panda thinks LeBron's better than.
I know.
I think, well, that's the reason I bring it up, because I think this truly is a generational thing.
I think that if you were born, if you grew up kind of, and I'm way older than you, you grew up in Chicago, so I get it.
But like, I mean, there's no question, Jordan, in my mind.
If he just gets, he was from Chicago, I was named after the Lakers.
That's how I got my name.
So I think I'm going to ride with Bron.
Okay.
Alright.
Is it really?
I didn't know that about you.
Panda Los Angeles Lakers and panda All right Okay, I mean in and you want to keep going here you any more you more.
Okay.
Good one.
I'm winning Why would you stop the Ryder Cup go back to the 1990s question?
Okay All right.
I got one that you're not gonna get In 1990s only one LPGA player won two LPGA championships.
Who was it?
Panda's got it.
No, it's stumped the shepherd.
What do you got it?
I don't even know if I could Name a player in the 19 LPGA player in the 1990s
Honestly, I was gonna be my guess the only female player I could think of no she was 2003 I think I don't know maybe what the Maybe she wasn't I have no idea.
It's Laura Davey.
No.
Oh You knew that one.
I love Lord.
Yeah, I love her grasp Is she really
I wonder what she could do with a bowl full of sketti.
I'm pure one.
On the men's all-time professional major championship leaderboard, gold leaderboard, which two players are tied with nine victories?
Oh, wow.
Great question.
Is it?
Okay.
All right, finally.
Okay.
You got one?
You got it?
I don't.
I have one player and I'm trying to think of who the other player could be.
Because there's two players tied with nine, you said.
I think I have one.
We'll give you 50% with one.
I have Walter Higgins.
Okay, I have Gary Player at nine.
Are either of those right?
Wow, dude, you got no, actually, no, but Gary Player's right.
Oh, wait, hold on.
Let me let me think of the other one.
Hagen's wrong.
Let me think of the other one.
Let me just give a quick shout out to High Noon.
Thank you for your sponsorship.
I'm gonna go with Bobby Jones.
Ooh, close.
I could see why you'd choose Bobby Jones.
It is not that error, but it's Mr. Ben Hogan.
Mr. Ben Hogan.
Um, let's do a couple more.
I've got a couple.
I thought it was going to be called something.
I'm going to be honest with you.
I'm still really impressed that you were able to beat Panda on any of these.
Panda's so disgusted with himself.
Yeah, he's not going to.
He's not even talking.
This is how I felt when they told me that my albatross was illegitimate.
Yes.
See, this is the point.
I'm coming for your segment.
No segment is named after me.
I'm gonna steal them from you.
Panda sets his limit of betting, whether it's $200 or $500.
If he loses it all to me, he has to legally change his name to Panda.
I love it.
Or get a small tattoo.
If you set your dollar amount and we go out golfing for a couple days and I end up just with all of that money, it's legally Panda.
Or you can get a small Panda tattoo anywhere on your body.
I'm good with either.
It could be this big.
It could be a half inch.
I'm good with either.
You can put Panda on your fucking driver's license.
or you can put a panda on your body.
Is it like McLovin, just one name?
Or I have to be the panda, first name D. No, it's just Panda.
I take either of those.
No, it's just Panda.
It's just Panda, all right.
Yeah, Panda.
No, it's actually first name Panda, last name Panda.
Oh, okay.
Or maybe it could be called, maybe it could be called a panda betting experience.
I love that.
Panda, Panda.
2003, you were around for that, Panda.
2003 has been Christianed
Nope.
Kristen.
What the fuck?
Oh, I'm so sorry, Christian.
christened no how do you say that how do you say that word christened christened why can't i read what happened to me what has happened i can't handle this just say in 2003 and then look at me and i'll i'll say the word and then you and then read the next bit 2003 has been christened the year of the 40 somethings in golf
Which of these oldie golfers won the fewest tournaments in 2003?
Jay Haas, Vijay Singh, Fred Couples, and Kenny Perry.
The fewest?
Yeah.
The fewest?
Yeah, these guys were rolling them in in the year 2003.
Who won the fewest out of Haas, Singh, Couples, and Perry?
Haas.
I'm going to go with good old Freddy.
Yeah, that's actually Jay Haas.
Wow.
Great job, Panda.
He's back.
He's back, baby.
What a weird question.
Mike Weir was wildly heralded as the first Canadian ever to win a PGA Tour major event by winning the 2003 Masters at Augusta and putting on the green jacket.
But this later turned out to be incorrect.
A Canadian once won the U.S.
Amateur when it was still considered a major.
What was his name?
George Knudsen.
It's amazing that you know a Canadian golfer name.
Do you know any?
Do you know any?
Sandy Somerville.
So we're going to not give you that one.
Yeah.
Tiger Woods was widely accused of being in a slump in 2003.
I think we all remember that.
After having failed to win one of the four major gold championships.
in spite of the fact that he won how many tournaments throughout the first week of October?
What?
Three?
How many tournaments?
Up to the first week in October.
Oh, from January to October.
It was kind of put weird, but yeah, more than that.
More than three.
I asked your answer, you lied.
I'll say four, because I'll be closer.
Actually, I didn't turn the lock yet.
Adjust.
Five is the correct answer.
Five.
I'm going to let that be a wash.
One more and we'll move on.
What unlikely golfer won the 2003 British Open and instantly shot up hundreds of places from his rank of 396th in the world?
Shepard.
Panda.
Todd Hamilton.
It's a great name, Todd Hamilton.
Just say if that's right.
No.
Then I'll take a guess.
Wait, what?
That's not right.
The 2003 British Open?
Yeah.
It's not Todd Hamilton.
Great name though.
Great name.
Can you tell us what country he's from?
I can actually give you, you want me to, it's not fair if I give you multiple choice now, is it?
No, just say the country.
Oh, I don't, I think the US.
I'm guessing you're, definitely US.
That's not, I was not thinking that, I was thinking, the player I was thinking of was Asian.
Yeah.
Do you have it?
Todd Hamilton won in 2004.
I was a year off.
Oh, that's crazy that you got that close.
Crazy.
I have no idea.
It's okay.
It's Ben Curtis.
All right, let me just do one more.
A commercial that Buick made for its SUV.
The Rainier involved Tiger Woods giving away SUVs to people on a golf course with hidden cameras set up to capture the action and reactions.
What mild controversy surrounded this event?
No fucking clue.
Well, I didn't even know the story.
Yeah.
A man lost his amateur status because of it.
The commercial was called Tiger Trap and received a massive public response.
Mike Freeman was the name of the man who lost his status.
He just happened to be at the course that day of the shoot.
And during one of the closest to the pins competitions staged by Tiger and Buick, Freeman won the SUV.
By accepting the prize, they ruled that he violated, the USGA ruled that he violated.
Man, they just kill all fun.
Like they're just- Man, imagine though winning a closest to the pin competition, winning a car and you get a fucking Buick.
That would be tough.
Well, or that you get, and then you'd lose your status over it.
But why would you want, I don't understand.
Why would you want a Buick?
Why would you want an amateur status?
It was an 03 Buick.
What was, that is true.
What would, uh, if he was playing like competitive amateur stuff, if he was playing like mid-ams in U.S.
Opens and stuff, then he would want to do it.
That's about all I could think of.
If he was like in college.
Uh, Shepard, really impressive, bud.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
We're gonna take a quick break and then we'll finish up.
I have a segment idea where you see how long you can stay on live stream.
What do you mean?
Just like from the shed on camera.
Could you do 48 hours?
Oh, dude, I could just leave it on.
Do I have to stay out here and be 72 hours?
Depends on how many Adderall I have access to.
If you give me a whole brand new, if you give me my month supply of Adderall, I could be in here until probably, let's see, it's November.
I'd say January 12th.
I'd say January 12th, maybe.
Yeah.
New segment.
Yes.
New segment.
Let's go.
Here at DITYAMA.FM called Driving Conversations.
Ah, so good.
The most interesting stories in and around golf told by yours truly, Albie, the world's most honest degenerate.
Thank you.
He really christened it in there.
Jerk.
It's christened, okay.
I found this, I came across this story, all right.
This is probably one of the craziest stats I've ever heard in golf.
Calvin Pete, I think we all know Calvin.
Dude, by the way, Calvin Pete's, I mean, dude, this guy.
Do people actually know who Calvin Pete is?
I mean, I knew of him.
Oh, all right.
I knew of him just from the senior tour, like I remember him on the senior.
I'm gonna do a deep dive on Calvin Pete.
This dude's amazing.
This guy, shout out to Lou Stagner on this one, because he's the golf stat pro.
This guy's amazing, by the way.
You know him?
Oh, dude, he's great.
He's got, like, the craziest stats on everything.
Why don't we get him on the pod?
I've reached out to him.
Shout out to you, Lou.
Like, I know we've talked about doing some stuff together, so, yeah, anyway.
This is the craziest stat I've ever heard, though.
In over 1,200 rounds, Calvin Pete only hit one ball out of bounds.
and over 1,200 rounds.
Think about that.
That's insane to me.
That is crazy.
That was his thing.
He hit the ball incredibly straight.
He had a permanently bent lead arm because he fell out of a tree when he was a kid and it never got set right.
How do you know this stuff?
Really?
You'll find it out in the deep dive.
Yeah, he led the tour in driving accuracy every year that he was on it.
Wow.
He hit the ball not very far, but incredibly laser beam straight.
He also didn't take up golf.
He would be good for a deep dive because he didn't take up golf until he was in like almost 30 years old.
Calvin, I'm coming for you, buddy.
We're going to get deep into the weeds with you, buddy.
This is an amazing story.
I love stories like this.
Is Calvin still with us?
No, he is deceased.
I'm pretty sure he's still alive in spirit.
So, yeah.
How many rounds at Kerwood could you play if your sole goal was not to hit a ball out of bounds?
What can I like hit?
Can I deal with wedges?
Yeah.
And spaghetti.
A lot.
Wedges and spaghetti.
There's no score you have to beat.
Yeah.
You just can't hit a ball out of bounds.
Basically just be until you shanked one or duffed one in the water on like pine nine.
But that's not an out of bounds.
It's a hazard.
That's true.
It's just that it out of bounds.
Like just white stakes.
Great point.
Yeah.
Do blues count?
It's kinda like a, that's a hazard, I guess, right?
That's a hazard, that's not a, the only thing that definitely is out of bounds is white.
That's what I thought, maybe I'm wrong.
No, no, no, I don't, I just love, this is crazy to me about golf.
Like, we've been playing golf for how long?
We play it quite a bit.
We don't even know all the rules.
Like, it's just silly.
I think I got a rule book in the car.
All right.
I definitely do.
We could put that together with how to play golf book in my bag.
That's true.
And we could really go places.
All right, well, shout out to Calvin, dude.
We're coming for you on the deep dive.
Great stat, Calvin.
Wasn't there an interesting stat just last week or the week before someone hit a bunch of fairways in a row?
Adam Long hit 69 fairways in a row.
There you go.
Shout out to Lucy.
We got one too, buddy.
So Panda, what do you know about Moe Norman?
A lot.
Mo Norman was Canadian gentleman.
He probably today would be diagnosed with some sort of autism or like Asperger's or some shit, but he developed like this single-ish plane swing.
He also hit the ball super, super straight, not super, super far.
He like worked in a bowling alley in the winter.
And he eventually became really good and won a bunch of events on the Canadian tour, but it never really translated to the U.S.
tour.
The CEO of Tidalist, Wally Ulein, whose kid or grandkid is Peter Ulein, who plays on the Live Tour now.
he gave him like a lifetime sponsorship so that he would just like keep him alive, because he was like penniless.
Oh, Titleist did?
Yeah.
Oh dude, that's, so I didn't know that whole story.
I caught like part of a YouTube video on him and was like just fascinated by this guy.
Like I knew of him, but I didn't really know, like, I started watching, like there's people out there that will sell you how to, like they teach how to swing like Mo, like it's a single, to your point, like a single plane.
I don't know, it says like it's very teachable.
I don't know, it had me hooked.
I'm like, yeah, I mean, that makes sense.
I totally,
I almost bought a swing aid with it.
But- You didn't?
No, they didn't really have one specific around mode norma.
That's what we're gonna introduce.
I don't know that there's a swing aid for like keeping it perfectly on the same plane every time.
I think that swing jacket thing you got has to be pretty close.
Which one?
I've got two swing- I feel like you can't do much with that.
I had two swing jackets.
I was going through like- No, you don't.
No, I'm getting ready for this segment.
No, I was going through- That's why I did the answer to Panda when he was like- It's a draw and a fade one.
Dude, I've got, I literally have, what did we say, 36?
You said 36, but one's in a box.
Welcome, everyone, to my favorite segment.
Everyone loves Stump the Panda, but we all know what the real segment is, and that is, I hope he's brave.
Did you know Victor Hovland made as much money as someone, if you broke down, let me kind of think of how to phrase this.
If you broke down
The amount of money, did you know, Victor Hovland
made the same amount of money as $5,700.
Someone help me craft this.
This is Albie's intro.
That's it.
Welcome to Albie's brain.
This is the brain.
But this is what it feels.
How much did he make, Brandon?
I'm going to lean into this one.
So Victor Hovland, I think, made... Did you know Victor Hovland, I think last year, made somewhere in the neighborhood of $35,000,000, $40,000,000.
If you break that down by swing,
It's somewhere in the neighborhood of $5,700 per swing.
$5,700.
So that means every time he swung the golf club, it was $5,700 he made.
Even putts.
Yeah, putts too.
What do you think you're spending per swing?
I have no idea.
It would take a couple abacuses.
Abacus-eye to figure that one out.
Abacus-eye.
Alcabazam.
Alcabazoo.
Oh, boy.
How many Victor, wait.
How many swings did Victor Hovland take?
He won, so Victor Hovland, wait, let me think.
That is a hard question to think of how to say.
And then he took 5,700 swings.
Just say Victor Hovland earned $5,700 per swing last year on the PGA Tour if you amateurize it by swing.
Bam.
I hope he's brave.
That wasn't the question that I wanted you guys to think about.
I wanted you to think about how much are you spending per swing?
Well, let's just take a guess.
Me and his is less because we play so much.
Oh, I was going to say, because y'all are so much better.
No, because we play so much.
That's true.
A couple.
Do we count your practice swings on this?
His might be like 10 cents.
No, and I'm doing a lot of those, so.
Yeah.
I'm actually putting work in, so you guys are going to...
I don't think I, my cost per swing is that high because I take, I play a lot of golf.
I spend $1.9.
$1.96.
A swing?
Per swing.
$2 per swing.
But then you would have to like get into, then we'd have to get into Venmo wins and losses.
And golf equipment.
Golf equipment is going to be a big one for you.
Yeah.
At what level do the tennis players start getting sponsorship looks?
Like how much money are you talking?
Let's say $100,000.
It's changed a lot.
I'd say the top
probably 30 are getting something like that.
But it's not it wouldn't be in like a signing bonus would be like in incentives and like bonus related.
Like if they finish the year end inside the top 20, they'll hit X-Men dollars or Grand Slam semifinalists, stuff like that.
It wouldn't be like a guaranteed amount.
Now, like the top top players, way more than that.
Like, yes.
But I'd say golf is quite similar.
I don't think golf is offering huge contracts to players.
It's all incentive based.
When we were at Hulaween, this is a couple weeks ago, we went to Hulaween.
Shout out to all my Hula people.
I don't know what that is.
That is a music festival in the middle of nowhere.
It's actually a lot of fun.
It's called Live Oak.
Anyway, Florida, we, when we were there, one of my buddies was, he went to the show and he found the champion.
He's basically the champion Frisbee golfer.
He was on ESPN.
I don't know if you guys saw this video.
He looks like, he looked like Jesus.
Like I think that's his name is actually, they call him Jesus.
He's like, you know, cause the guy that's won it like the last five years, I like dove into this.
Frisbee golf.
He's the LeBron James of golf.
So no, so this one, so the guy that like, he's like a robot that's been winning for like the last five years.
And then all of a sudden this guy who looks like Jesus, he's all, the first guy's all dressed and he's very preppy.
He's all buttoned up.
You see him, he looks like a golfer.
He looks like he literally, he's wearing golf clubs.
Then all of a sudden you see this like hippie guy like look like he's wearing Birkenstocks.
He just comes and fucking throws this amazing Frisbee or disc.
They don't like it when you call it Frisbee.
And it curved around a tree.
It was amazing.
And he sunk it.
He had an albatross.
We should have him on.
To win the US Open.
We should have him on.
So this Jesus guy, my buddy's got pictures of him hanging out, and the whole reason I bring it up is because he was telling him, we started really thinking about, what are these guys, what are they getting in sponsorship?
Dude, this guy's a multimillionaire.
This Jesus guy, he got all the endorsement deals coming out of this throw.
I'm like, dude, I got nothing.
I had to make my own trophy.
His throw on camera, though.
It was.
I'm telling you, that's the domino.
Golly, I am coming up with so many good segments.
Let's hear it.
We pick a day to go out into like an afternoon to go out on the Pine 1.
A Monday.
A Monday.
And we just fucking line up golf balls and you just rip three wood.
Oh, like do it again?
See if you can do it again.
The problem is... Give yourself like a hundred chances a day.
Dude, you still don't get it.
Like, you still don't get it.
This is what drives me insane.
We get on video.
Dude, doesn't matter.
The video thing is, that'd be impressive.
Here's the deal.
It wouldn't be for a tournament.
It wouldn't be in the situation to win a tournament.
All right, let's wrap up.
I want to go eat my McDonald's.
Thanks for tuning in, everyone.
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