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"Welcome to 'Parent Like An Athlete,' your ultimate guide to parenting with audacity, tenacity, and finesse. Hosted by the dynamic duo, Otis Grigsby, a former NFL warrior turned attorney, and his British wife, Gemma Grigsby, a successful healthtech marketing agency owner. Our mission is to navigate the parenting field with the same relentless drive as an athlete striving to improve by one percent each day. This isn't about winning or losing; it's about mastering consistency, transforming routine into an art form, and making everyday parenting an exciting journey. Are you ready to redefine your parenting playbook? Tune in and join our vibrant community as we tackle today's parenting challenges head-on!"
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:25:12
Unknown
Okay, so what if husband spanks two year old and I don't agree? Here we go. My son is almost three and he is a handful. But he's not malicious. He's just wild. Hmm. He's a cute and happy child. Always smiling, but always getting into stuff and needing constant supervision, which drives my husband crazy. He is always yelling at him and needs constant breaks.
00:00:25:14 - 00:00:44:14
Unknown
My son had his biting stage, which is normal, and I had been trying to correct it with redirection, but my husband kept insisting we need to bite him back so he knows what it feels like. We would argue about it and I said, No, I absolutely do not want him biting the baby. I wasn't home and my son bit him.
00:00:44:20 - 00:01:02:23
Unknown
He was biting when he wanted attention. And I'm sure my husband was playing games on his phone, ignoring him, expecting him to entertain himself. So my husband went ahead and bit him on the arm. He told me about it when I got home and I was furious. He still had teeth indentations on his arm. They faded shortly after, so he said it wasn't that bad.
00:01:03:03 - 00:01:22:12
Unknown
My husband is a really big, strong guy and he has no no idea how hard he does things. He tries to tickle me and it's literally painful. He doesn't understand how hard he’s squeezing. So to me, it's even more important that he never, ever lay any sort of physical punishment. The kid is only two. This is a toddler he can really hurt him.
00:01:22:14 - 00:01:42:12
Unknown
He apologized, kind of, but maintained that we have different views. For a while now, he's been insisting the our son needs a whap when he does something wrong and his and his parents keep telling him the same thing. Just give him a whap. They also encourage the biting. He's F-ing two. He doesn't need to be hit. He has no concept of what he's even doing.
00:01:42:12 - 00:02:02:21
Unknown
He's still figuring it out. We have had arguments about this. I do not want spanking to be used as a punishment ever. It's weird. It's not productive in any way. And in my opinion, it teaches zero lessons, except that you can't really ever trust your parents because they're willing to hurt you. Source: I was spanked. When I say this, my husband suddenly turns into Archie Bunker.
00:02:02:23 - 00:02:28:11
Unknown
Not sure who that is. It's a that's an American. It's. Yeah, it's an old TV show character from an old TV show from, like, the, I don't know, seventies or sixties. Okay. Anyway. And starts this really annoying little speech about how he doesn't believe in this new age liberal bullshit. He has never voted and is not registered to vote, so I don't know where it comes up with this crap.
00:02:28:13 - 00:02:52:18
Unknown
Boo boo, this man Go vote. Everybody vote. The whole I was spanked and I turned out fine. He is not fine. Then how all his friends growing up was spanked. He's a guy. And I don't understand because I'm a woman. Guys need this, he says. For months, we have gone back and forth on this. My kid would do something wild and run away laughing, and my husband would grit his teeth and say, grrr, I really want to hit him right now.
00:02:52:20 - 00:03:11:19
Unknown
In my opinion, that's exactly why he shouldn't spank him. He wouldn't even be doing it right. If there is even a right way, he'd be hitting him in a rage. A few days ago, I wasn't home from work yet, and apparently my son grabbed our cat by the tail and pulled him. So my husband did it. He called me at work and said he gave me a whap, whatever the f that means.
00:03:11:21 - 00:03:29:13
Unknown
I don't know if it was on the but on the back. I'm assuming he grabbed him by the arm and spanked him. But I have no idea how hard or how many times. Yes, my husband did tell me, but he said he could just not have told me. I guess to prove how great he is doing me a favor and telling me I was so mad I cried.
00:03:29:13 - 00:03:49:03
Unknown
We had a big fight when I got home and again the next morning yelling in front of my son. It was bad. I'm so confused. I feel like the frog slowly boiling metaphor. Would I jump out if I met this guy now? Or am I just so enmeshed in this nonsense? I can't even tell what's what anymore. Is this really just a difference in parenting styles, or is this something people divorce over?
00:03:49:05 - 00:04:26:03
Unknown
I'm worried about escalation. Who can I talk to about this? Should I find a couples counselor? Should I talk to his pediatrician and tell them what happened? I don't know where to turn. Yeah. So this is this story is not ugh. It's tough. I think the the interesting thing about this is this guy is the poster man. Poster boy, whatever for why so many people are moving away from physical discipline for their kids.
00:04:26:03 - 00:04:52:21
Unknown
Because this guy literally disciplines his child out of anger. He's making comments about how he just wants to hit him. He's talking about biting his kid back, which is. And he did. He did bite him back. really dumb. Like what a dumb thing. Like, what is that exactly teaching? I don't really understand. And he's yeah, he's just really doing it wrong.
00:04:52:23 - 00:05:20:01
Unknown
But I think so. And I'll just tell y’all right, now, I'm a fan of keeping that tool in the toolbox. Physical discipline is is something that, you know, people did I think 90% of Americans did back in like the early up to the early nineties. And it's dropped to something like 60%, something like that. Uh, I believe that.
00:05:20:07 - 00:05:49:14
Unknown
And I can't find any data on this because no one's doing any studies on it because I wonder why. Right. The people who have their, their viewpoints aren't necessarily going to do research to discredit their viewpoints, but my belief is that a lot of the issues that we're seeing with kids today are actually due in part to this complete shift away from a a parenting tool, a tool in the box that we've had for literally thousands of years.
00:05:49:14 - 00:06:11:20
Unknown
And now all of a sudden we're saying this is no longer acceptable and and we want to blame it. We want to blame the problems that kids are having on social media, as if there weren't other things like kids getting bullied in other forms when they were, you know, before social media came around. We're blaming everything, but things that just kind of seem obvious to me.
00:06:11:22 - 00:06:47:04
Unknown
It's almost like the people who don't want to acknowledge that guns are killing kids. It's like, dude, they are. It's not video games. It's not movies, it's not TV shows. It's guns. And, you know, and people's fear about doing something difficult, like, you know, using physical discipline sparingly at times when it's necessary, I think that leads to a complete a complete shift in in the dynamic of parenting, where all you have to leverage is love.
00:06:47:04 - 00:07:10:15
Unknown
And that's great. But you know what? Sometimes times, you know, you need a little bit more than that. And and the the example that I use is, you know, if if the world were so we're so easily tamed and everything were great and fine, you know, and the U.S. could be loved just for our great food and culture and awesome personalities, then we wouldn't need a military.
00:07:10:15 - 00:07:33:07
Unknown
Right? And I'm not saying that your kid is like a, you know, a foreign country or whatever or an enemy combatant. But kids are people. They have their own desires of independence and and, you know, they need structure. And sometimes some kids do things that that require something that reminds them to not do that. You know.
00:07:33:07 - 00:07:55:23
Unknown
So from my experience and from my experience, my dad never spanked me when he was angry. In fact, I found out that if I did something really, really bad that got him really, really upset, he nothing would happen to me. Like, because he's he's like, I'm too mad. I'm literally too mad. I'm I'm just going to leave this alone.
00:07:55:23 - 00:08:13:07
Unknown
I'm like, Oh, wow. So go big or go home was what I learned. If I'm going to do something, I need to do it big. Like throw mud balls over my neighbor's house big. But then you paid for it like it right? How? What did he. He didn't just not punish you, right? He just didn't punish you in the moment.
00:08:13:08 - 00:08:37:20
Unknown
Can I just tell you I don't remember? Because it didn't. It wasn't I didn't get I didn't get spanked. Like, I mean, maybe they took the video games away or something, but like, I know that I did something really egregious. Y’all, I covered our neighbor's house with mud balls. It was like a polka dot masterpiece. It was beautiful work of art.
00:08:37:20 - 00:08:55:17
Unknown
It was beautiful. And I mean, I jumped over the back fence and like, you know, covered the backside of the house and all sides of their house was covered in mud balls. And nothing I got no spanking whatsoever because Did you have to wash it off? Oh, yeah, I had to wash it off. But that was also kind of fun because it's like when when you wash it off, there were still stains from the mud balls.
00:08:55:17 - 00:09:15:00
Unknown
So their house was just now like kind of polka dot. And it stayed like that for a long time. It was awesome. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So, no, I mean, I think I just I don't. I think I think but I also think that using physical discipline is you use it too much and it, it loses its, its power.
00:09:15:00 - 00:09:34:10
Unknown
You know, it's like because because my dad I would say that he probably did it too often. It was just every time like something it was like a violation. And now I'm getting spanked. And and I mean, I found myself turning into like a game where I was like, okay, well, I'm going to show no emotion and not cry whatsoever.
00:09:34:12 - 00:09:57:13
Unknown
And and like, I'm pretty sure it frustrated him. Like, it was like because he knew it wasn't working. And the thing is, like, it doesn't after a while it doesn't work. I mean, so you have to be selective if you have to. You have. Yeah, you have to be selective about it. And for the most part, I think that, you know, it's just a it's a low creativity type form of, of discipline.
00:09:57:15 - 00:10:19:19
Unknown
But just because it's just because it's not, you know, it's a it's a dumb basic kind of blunt tool doesn't mean it doesn't have value. A hammer is a stupid tool that's so basic, but it's hella useful. And like, if you don't own a hammer, like, you're kind of like, what are you doing? Like, your toolbox is like, broken.
00:10:19:19 - 00:10:39:01
Unknown
So I think I think it's kind of like the hammer. You kind of need the hammer, but it's not going to be a tool that you use often. And if you use the hammer everywhere, you've got holes in your walls, you've got like stripped screws, you've got like, you know, if you're trying to cut something with a hammer, like it's like janky edges, I don't know.
00:10:39:01 - 00:10:59:00
Unknown
I'm like going on all kinds of tangents here. But yeah, I think the issue is it's been a lot of people had a really bad experience with it because unlike what you're describing with your dad, where he wouldn't hit you if he were angry, I think a lot of people had more had the experience with this guy and here where it's like the parent gets angry and they lash out.
00:10:59:06 - 00:11:28:02
Unknown
So it's like a it's an emotional response instead of a controlled discipline response. And that is not great and can be like traumatic and create distrust between the parents and all that kind of thing, which I think this woman is. That's what she's trying to avoid. I think the other thing in here is like, I feel like this does a good job of illustrating the importance of having these kinds of conversations before you have a kid with somebody.
00:11:28:02 - 00:11:50:15
Unknown
Yes. Because like, you don't want to be in a situation where suddenly your partner like, gets angry and like, spanks your kid or bites your kid in this case, which is just weird. No, he didn't suddenly do it. He just he said, this is what I'm going to do. Yeah, but the fact that he was like, really, he like really was wanting to, like, bite this kid.
00:11:50:17 - 00:12:23:02
Unknown
Yeah. Weirdo. So, yeah, I think that's really important to have those kinds of conversations before you have kids. And there's so much stuff that comes up with kids. Obviously, you can't have all of the conversations about every single scenario that's going to happen, but this seems like it's a fundamental conversation that should be had. Absolutely. It was a conversation that we had beforehand and, you know, as you can tell, like Gemma, she didn't she wasn't on she wasn't like she didn't think this was something she wanted to do.
00:12:23:04 - 00:12:53:16
Unknown
I wasn't on the same page. Not on the same page, not on board. And, you know, to a certain extent, I think still is hesitant about it. And obviously, we don't have to cross that bridge. Our child is one. So I don't I don't see you know, and I and I look forward to coming up with all kinds of creative ways to discipline him or I shouldn't say discipline him, but like help guide him into, you know, a path where his behavior is aligned with what he wants to get out of life.
00:12:53:16 - 00:13:10:18
Unknown
Right. Like, it's it's like this is not for me. Like this is for you. I'm like, we talk about him getting upset when we change his diaper. He hates getting his diaper changed. Bro, I'm. I'm just trying to help you not have poop all over yourself. If it were up to me, I'd leave it here, too. Like, I don't.
00:13:10:20 - 00:13:27:14
Unknown
Yeah, I don't want to deal with this right now. It's like I'm just don't I have to do. And, you know, so it's like. But you have to have those conversations and and so many people fail to have those conversations because they're afraid of what someone you know is going to say or think or whatever. But what this woman wanted to know is like, Well, what can I do?
00:13:27:14 - 00:13:57:04
Unknown
Well, here's the here's the tough news for you and anyone else out there who didn't bother to have this conversation before. Absolutely nothing in a lot of places, at least a lot of places around the U.S. I mean, I can't speak on the laws everywhere, but for the most part, the way this thing works is if it's legal to to use physical force to discipline your kid, you know, reasonable force to discipline your kid, then it doesn't require, you know, two parties agreeing.
00:13:57:04 - 00:14:18:00
Unknown
It's like what happens in a partnership with a business where you're 50, 50, both have the equal power to unilaterally do a thing or I like the say in copyright law. So in copyright law, I'm a lawyer, y’all. So with copyright law, if you've got say, we both, we all okay, Gemma and I made a podcast together.
00:14:18:06 - 00:14:44:07
Unknown
Fun, right? We both own this podcast. Gemma Gemma can sell the rights to the podcast to whoever she wants without my permission whatsoever. And those rights are valid. I can't go and sue her over it. I can't do anything about it. So you gotta make sure that when you make a podcast or a baby, you're on the same page on how you're going to like, you know, monetize it or discipline the baby.
00:14:44:07 - 00:15:03:21
Unknown
So yeah, be careful about who you partner up with to do a podcast with, partner up with. Yeah, I think this could be a good time for her to think about. Okay, what other things did we not talk about that we probably need to talk about before they happen? Yeah. Yeah. Cell phones. When does a kid get a cell phone?
00:15:03:21 - 00:15:24:00
Unknown
I mean, he's only what, two now? But yeah, pretty soon that might come up. There's all kinds of things. Yeah. No. Is he going to like, do you take him to church? I don't know. Anyway, this. Yeah. It seems like she's left some serious things out and probably should revisit some stuff. Yeah, we've talked about this one. We've talked about this quite some time.
00:15:24:00 - 00:15:42:15
Unknown
So, you know, in the interest of time. Yes. Your time. We're going to just say, hey, throw some comments in love to hear what you think. I'm sure a lot of you guys hate what I had to say. Let us know. We want to hear it and I want to hear all about it. I mean, I've read I've read the stuff, so it's I don't think it'll be anything new.
00:15:42:15 - 00:16:10:14
Unknown
But I mean, I look forward to hearing something new. Like people have their views on this. This one's a little controversial. So. Yes. Um, yes. So let's see here. Next story y’all. This next story is fun. Yeah. So no controversy. Actually, this is kind of controversial. It's it's but it's anything can be controversial when it comes to parenting.
00:16:10:14 - 00:16:35:02
Unknown
Honestly, I think people yeah, they turn everything you can turn everything. I'll say something that someone's going to be upset about, I'm sure. Here we go. Someone said my baby looked like an actor known for being odd or ugly looking. This is a vent. I'm really upset. I know it shouldn't matter. And babies do look weird, but it hurts my heart that someone doesn't see my perfect baby the way I do.
00:16:35:04 - 00:17:07:00
Unknown
He's seven months, so it's not like he's got funny newborn looks or anything. I also hate using the word ugly because beauty is more than skin deep, but this person in particular is associated that is associated that way in roles they are given, etc.. Uh, the grammar there. This is a problem with these online stories, but whatever. They photoshopped my baby's head on into the body of a person of that person and sent it to me in a group message where others laughed at it too.
00:17:07:01 - 00:17:27:09
Unknown
Wow. I mean, I'm laughing, but like they are a good friend. I know it doesn't sound it, but they truly are. And did it because they thought it was funny. They weren't being mean deliberately, and if it was about me, I wouldn't care. We do have a friendship where we can make fun of each other. But I thought it would be obvious my baby is off limits.
00:17:27:11 - 00:17:45:20
Unknown
They don't have kids themselves, so maybe they don't realize how it feels. They've previously made comments about my baby's ears sticking out too. I told them at the time it was mean to say that my baby is literally my most precious thing in the entire world and I'm struggling to see the funny side of it. I'm probably being oversensitive.
00:17:45:22 - 00:18:04:18
Unknown
I just need to vent. Uh, yeah. You want to start that? So when we read this one earlier, the first question was, okay, who, who are they referring to? Like, which actor? So I think we need to, like, put up a picture and show who this is. We will show a picture of the actor. What was his name?
00:18:04:20 - 00:18:32:17
Unknown
Tom. Um, uh, Tony Lay Is that Tony like a British actor for all or you Brits out there? I think he was in, he was in like some BBC shows, very distinctive looking gentleman. He looks he looks like if like a human were Shrek like or like a like a human Shrek or maybe. Yeah. Ogre troll. An ogre.
00:18:32:17 - 00:19:04:11
Unknown
An ogre. Yeah. That's like. That's a good word. Yeah. Maybe like do the British like to say the word oafish? Oafish? Oafish. Do you guys say that? An oafish type person? Like a Oh, yeah. Okay, so maybe not, maybe not, not as much or whatever. But yeah, a troll. stereotypes of the British. Yeah. You know. Okay. Sorry. Yeah. So, I mean, okay, there's angles on this because a lot of babies do look weird, right?
00:19:04:13 - 00:19:29:13
Unknown
There's some babies that look like, you know, little old men and little aliens and stuff. And it's not something you should say to a parent, though. Like, I can't imagine like a friend of ours, like saying something like Photoshopping our child's head onto someone's body. Like, that's kind of messed up. Not my friends. Yeah, that's that's messed up.
00:19:29:13 - 00:19:49:09
Unknown
I would be pissed and I would not feel very favorable towards that person. Like, it's the kind of thing like, oh, if you saw like, it on the Internet, if you saw a meme on Instagram or BuzzFeed, whatever, it would be funny if it's like someone else's baby. But if somebody says that to you about your baby, like that's, that's off limits.
00:19:49:11 - 00:20:09:09
Unknown
Yeah. I mean, if you if you sent a picture of this person, Tony, lay side by side with a picture of my baby, then like, that's about as far as you can go. But like, yeah, I take my baby's head, you know, you spent time photoshopping my baby's head on it. It isn't really take that much time. But still, I think even a side by side.
00:20:09:09 - 00:20:36:09
Unknown
So I would not be happy with that. Like it is aggressive. Yeah, that's kind of messed up. And it's like, yeah, like we have a relationship where we make fun of each other. But yeah, that's, that's like a next level, like making fun of someone's baby to their face. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely don't have friends like that. I mean, I have, I think I have friends who I know, people who who make jokes, but then when they say something, then my response is something like just looking at them.
00:20:36:10 - 00:21:05:05
Unknown
Not about our baby, though, right? Well, no, our baby is is beautiful. So, I mean, no one's like and people don't spend enough time around our baby. Like, I mean, people say things about our baby that aren't like, intended to be negative, but it's more like, you know, I'll give you an example of, of like, weird stuff that people say about our baby that I think is I don't love, but I'm not going to say anything about it because I don't really care what these people think anyway.
00:21:05:07 - 00:21:26:22
Unknown
So we’ll be out and most people, they'll have their baby out and it's like they're out there for a little bit and the baby's freaking out. So they they got to go. And so that's what everyone expects to happen. They expect to see you there and then you're gone. But when we're out like our baby’s out with us, and he's out the entire time and, you know, sometimes he gets a little agitated and he wants to break free or whatever.
00:21:26:22 - 00:21:51:07
Unknown
But for the most part, there is a way I have found ways we found ways to to make it work where we are. It takes a little creativity, but but it works. And then sometimes people who are observing will make comments like, Oh, yeah, your baby's so quiet, he's so chill and relaxed. You’re so lucky. He's so he's such a... Yeah
00:21:51:07 - 00:22:24:06
Unknown
this one guy was like, Oh yeah, he's a philosopher. I'm like, you know, don't mistake good parenting for you, understanding my baby's personality. Like, I'm sorry, but this child has the full capacity to clear this room with his violent screams and anger. I don't. I don't really. You know, you don't know my baby like, I don't want to I don't want your assessments of, like, who he's going to be in the future.
00:22:24:08 - 00:22:49:24
Unknown
I do not care what you think. He's not like whether he's a... Oh, he's a philosopher. Well, yeah, he's thoughtful and he's paying attention. But he also can get very, uh, you know, chatty and loud and, you know, chaotic when he wants to. He's. He's many things, just like every other person. It's like, um, you know, we think about personalities and people are like, I'm an introvert or I'm an extrovert or I'm an introverted extrovert.
00:22:50:04 - 00:23:08:06
Unknown
The reality is like, we are different people in different circumstances. And guess what? Babies are the same way. Yeah. And so don't put me in a box don’t put my baby in a box. Don't put my baby in the corner. No, one puts my baby in the corner. Someone had this I knew like I sorry I should’ve let you say it. I'm she hasn't seen many movies so I didn't know if you were going to say it.
00:23:08:06 - 00:23:33:02
Unknown
I mean, come on that’s a classic. All right, well, anyway, this one that one’s fun we’ll show. Like, you saw the picture. The baby. I wish we'd seen the baby as well, but that would probably just, you know, break the Internet. So. And ruin that kid's life. Yeah. One other thought. Stop putting pictures of your baby on the Internet. We actually need to talk about this in an actual whole podcast because there's a lot.
00:23:33:03 - 00:24:04:14
Unknown
There's a lot to discuss on that topic. I think it's really interesting. I am so tired of hearing people talk about consent in all these other circumstances. But like back to what we were saying about, well, I actually was on a was it on this podcast or another one? I'm we it's all blurring together, y’all. We are on episode five now we are on obviously quite the extensive back catalogue... so many but you know we we talked about I'm totally drawing a blank now um I don't know what you're trying to say.
00:24:04:15 - 00:24:33:19
Unknown
Yeah. Talking about consent and oh we were talking about the one at the grocery store with the, the guy that grabbed the kid and tried to kidnap him. No, no, I'm thinking of. Oh, what it is, is so this the the one where mother in law wanted to keep the baby overnight. And this whole concept of, you know, well, we're doing something to benefit us.
00:24:33:21 - 00:24:54:16
Unknown
So it's like if anytime you're doing something and and it's like the benefit the the bulk of the benefit goes to you, you know, kind of like, say, if you were in like a business and like your partner got like 10% and you got 90% putting pictures of your kid on the Internet is like a 90-10 type situation for like for you versus your baby.
00:24:54:18 - 00:25:29:19
Unknown
Just like dumping your your kid, your one year old off with like the in-laws so you can go on a trip is a 90-10 kind of deal. It's not necessary. It serves it's it serves you primarily and it does so in a time of that kid's life where the kid is still developing. And if you and in the case of the photos, if the kid had chance to to like say, you know, with full understanding and knowledge of what this means to have all their pictures on the Internet, that kid would most likely say, please do not post my pictures online.
00:25:30:00 - 00:25:44:17
Unknown
Do not do that. Just like just just think about like when you're out with this is usually women. But guys do it too. You take a picture, it's like and someone's like, Oh, I love that picture. It's great. I'm going to put it on the internet right now. And then someone is like, Don't you put that picture online or
00:25:44:18 - 00:26:05:02
Unknown
I'm going to kill you because I look ugly in that picture. You can't put one picture of your friend in an outing on the Internet. But parents are like, Imma put them all. I'm going to put them all online. Yeah. Like how? Huh? So it's there's an imbalance. There's some consent there. And if we want to talk about consent, let's talk about the consent of the child.
00:26:05:04 - 00:26:30:03
Unknown
Child can't give consent. So I don't know. Just rethink it, y'all. Anyway, no judgment, but just perspective. I'm not going to, you know, go on your post and flame you for posting pictures of your kid. I'm not going to take I'm not going to take pictures of your kid and Photoshop them on the bodies of ugly celebrities. What kind of monster does that?
00:26:30:05 - 00:26:53:18
Unknown
Yeah, it’s messed up. Anyway. Anyway, last story. Yes, last story. We kind of went on a bit of a tangent there. Went on a bit of a tangent, so drop your comments. If you guys just hated that tangent, let me know if you love it. Let me know. Um. Promise to do better the next time if you if most hate it.
00:26:53:18 - 00:27:18:15
Unknown
But as I mentioned on the last episode, you know if you're in the minority then you know yeah, tough. Yeah. It's just the way it is. Okay. Uh, did you read that last one? Yes, I read the last one. Okay, Um, my turn to read. I love reading. Reading Rainbow. Hope you people out there know about Reading Rainbow. Gemma grew up in England.
00:27:18:17 - 00:27:37:15
Unknown
They didn't have Reading Rainbow there. It's, uh. It's pretty tragic, actually. I kind of hope that they're showing reruns of Reading Rainbow. They're now like, maybe it's in syndication and you guys are finally getting it. Um, I guess we'll find out. Yeah, we'll find out we’re... I'm going to go to England for the first time with my family, with my.
00:27:37:15 - 00:28:05:17
Unknown
With with the two. With the two British citizens of the house. Uh, you're the token American. Yeah, well, you know. All right, here's the last. The last story. It's a good one. Let's go out with a bang. Advice for fathers. I'm going to have a sip first, y’all. Wet that whistle. Advice for fathers. Hi, all. Here is a newly.
00:28:05:19 - 00:28:30:16
Unknown
Okay. He can't write well, but. Hi, all. Here is a newly dad sharing something I love. I'm tired of editing these people's posts. I like just reading them all confusing and chaotic the way they are. Hi, all. Here is a newly dad sharing something that will make your new parents lives a lot easier. And this is for fathers, mainly.
00:28:30:18 - 00:29:04:15
Unknown
Other than being the invisible helper that helps burp baby, wash clothes, etc., while your wife is resting, feeding and soothing the baby. The most important thing a father's job is to deflect all the annoying family members and their stupid ass requests. Both of your mothers are likely annoying as f, especially if it's their first grandkid. They will have a million weird ass traditional old school way of doing things like feeding baby water.
00:29:04:17 - 00:29:26:21
Unknown
I don’t even know that means. Or dumb S-word. This guy's cursing a lot. I'm trying to keep this clean. Dumb ish like that. We used to say ish when I was a kid ish because that’s what they said on the radio, that's when they edit it. they will want to see baby 24-7 They will unknowingly make hurtful remarks to your wife. Like, Oh, I think, baby, not getting enough milk.
00:29:27:02 - 00:29:51:18
Unknown
I think baby not getting enough milk? Okay. While it seems innocent remember your wife's hormone is through the roof. First few weeks. That one hormone! One hormone going crazy. Our job is to shut those shit down as soon as they what is wrong with these people? or about to happen. Man. This is great. I mean, our education system is something else, y'all.
00:29:51:24 - 00:30:14:14
Unknown
Yeah, that's another podcast. Send a text to both your families. Let them know the boundaries, intercept their visit, and don't give in. Shut them down if they start to complain. I know sometimes standing up to our parents or in-laws are scary, but we, the fathers, need to grow a spine and defend our wives. Yeah! I can guarantee you.
00:30:14:16 - 00:30:54:15
Unknown
I can guarantee you this will make your new parents lives a lot easier. And vastly improve you two's relationship. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, and then I'm going to read the... Actually I'm not going to read the edit. Okay. Um. Oh, it's funny. Yeah. So, I mean, it's funny that, like, I think that there's this kind of goes back to the I mean, I feel like we've had this conversation probably on another podcast where it's like there’s this idea that there's nothing for the dad to do initially and it's like this guy thinks that he's like, found the one thing and it's like, yeah, that's an important thing.
00:30:54:15 - 00:31:19:10
Unknown
But there is so many other things that a dad can do with a newborn like it is not just, it is not just that like, you know, like cooking food, like making sure everyone's, you know, eating, bathing the baby, like feeding the baby if there's like, you know, a bottle feed situation, like putting the baby to sleep, doing laundry.
00:31:19:10 - 00:31:51:11
Unknown
I mean, there's just so much stuff right to do. Yeah. Planning like, I mean, just planning books to learn about things that you need to be doing next. Yeah. And then there's, like, you know, the physical stuff, like, you know, setting up all the stuff for the baby. You know, when you have a newborn. I feel like if you're anything like us, you're constantly, like, on Amazon, like, looking for new stuff, trying to figure it out like this, constantly boxes coming, things need to be put together, Things need to be sent back.
00:31:51:11 - 00:32:11:16
Unknown
Take them back to the post office. What? Like there's a lot going on like. Mhm. And it's all of the just every day like kind of mundane stuff that is life that needs to be done. And there's a huge opportunity for dads to like help with all of that as well as spending time with their kid and bonding with their kids.
00:32:11:16 - 00:32:38:13
Unknown
So, you know, I think this guy's like kind of on to something in that he's like, you know, it's great that he, like, wants to do something and he thinks that he can do this, but like, the scope of what he can actually do is so much greater than what he's saying here. Yeah. Now I will say that this, uh, this is a very popular post, and the reason for that, I believe, is because so many men, uh, husbands are just better defending their wives in general.
00:32:38:15 - 00:33:12:08
Unknown
So it's like this is a, you know, it's advice for fathers. This is advice just for husbands. Like, I, I, my parents or literally anyone else. If you've got something negative to say about my wife, they know not to say it to me. It's like, don't say it to me like you say that behind my back or something because if you say it to my face, like we're going to have a conversation that you're not going to enjoy.
00:33:12:08 - 00:33:41:11
Unknown
And when I say not going to enjoy, I'm not like, I'm going to yell at you, but like you're going to feel like, you know, I just kind of when it's like when the when the kid gets like a stern talking to from his parent, like, I don't want my mom to feel like I'm treating her, you know, like, like my child or whatever or, you know, But like, the thing is, there's a lot of people out there who who really do spend a lot of energy caring what other people think.
00:33:41:13 - 00:33:54:22
Unknown
I know a lot of people who, you know, they meet a girl or they're about to get married and say, what do you think about her? Like, what do you think? I think she could be the one. Like, what do you think? You know how many times I've asked someone, what do they think about someone I'm with? Zero.
00:33:54:24 - 00:34:17:15
Unknown
Cause I don't care. It does not matter what you think. I'm the one who has to live with this person like so. So the moment that someone starts to, like, throw in like they're unsolicited advice or feedback, it's like, Hey, you know what? I'm fine. I want to learn. I mean, I'm a learner. Top five strengths. One of my top five strengths is learner.
00:34:17:17 - 00:34:36:06
Unknown
But like, if it's you're just judging the way we're doing it, it's like, Oh, I don't like the way you're doing it. Okay, I can see if we were just doing something dangerous or idiotic, but if we're doing something according to a plan that we worked out and you're trying to persuade me to do something differently, you know what?
00:34:36:08 - 00:34:58:02
Unknown
No, just. Let's just don't do that. So, uh, so I agree that you have to step in and defend. I think that it should start before you have a baby, though. I don't know. And then. And then when it comes to, you know, a lot of the commenters actually, there were a lot of commenters that said, you know, they feel useless.
00:34:58:02 - 00:35:18:08
Unknown
They feel like they don't matter. So I think it's interesting because, you know, we've talked about how a lot of guys will tell other guys, well, it doesn't really matter like the first few years, like you're not really super relevant. But when I heard people talk about it, it was more along the lines of like, oh, you get to like, you know, not have to work as much on on the parenting thing.
00:35:18:08 - 00:35:39:12
Unknown
But there are also guys out there apparently, I didn't realize this who are who feel left out bit and and yeah you don't have to feel left out. You can you can be more involved. And as we have found out from another story in one of our other episodes sometimes, which I will link to because that's what I'm supposed to do.
00:35:39:15 - 00:36:00:15
Unknown
Oh I'm supposed to link to that to that video. Some advanced podcast events. Yeah. And linked to this, there is a there a woman who who like literally would not let her husband sue their baby. Yeah, baby falls down. He's crying and it's like, nope, I'm going to be his center of the universe when it comes to safety.
00:36:00:15 - 00:36:29:11
Unknown
And it's like, first of all, you have backwards. Your husband, hopefully his like is like the start of the safety, right? Because as to yeah I mean and I know like a lot of women are like, oh I don't need to protect her. But as we found out and you know the last episode and link to it, I mean it's to me links here but as we found on the last episode yeah there people will literally try to walk up to you and kidnap your kid.
00:36:29:13 - 00:36:55:23
Unknown
But the thing is, that will never happen if your husband's there. The stories where women experience someone trying to kidnap their kid right in front of their face in public, that's not happening with a strong man. Present period. Reminds me of that video that we saw about the convicted child molester guy who had been in prison for like 25 years.
00:36:55:23 - 00:37:16:16
Unknown
And he got out and he did a podcast interview with somebody who was saying, how do you pick your victim? And the first thing he said was like, I look for single moms when the dad the dad isn't around, or if the dad like disengaged, those are the people in the kids that he targets. Yeah, which is really interesting.
00:37:16:16 - 00:37:45:17
Unknown
Yeah. They're looking for, um, weak points. And I don't want to call single moms weak because, you know, it's the job of parenting is hard. I cannot imagine doing it on my own as a man, let alone as a woman. But the reality is, there are some creeps out there. And and as I said before, we're not going to win the day with just love alone.
00:37:45:18 - 00:38:10:11
Unknown
Like there's there's we got to have some balance. Like like, you know, love and kindness and and, you know, caring is nice to have. But also, you know, you got to have at least the the potential for some pain, the the threat of the the possibility of pain, you know. You know, so I yeah. Anyway, so, um, yeah.
00:38:10:11 - 00:38:35:01
Unknown
Any other thoughts on that? No, I think yeah, I think that is a good one. Good one to end. Yeah. But great job. Is this Dad and his poor grammar. We salute you, sir, and all the other new parents out there. Uh, yeah. So thank you so much for tuning in. We really appreciate y'all's support. We do. You're such a subscriber.
00:38:35:02 - 00:38:54:03
Unknown
Names like Please Comment. Tell us what you think and we'll be back next week. Yeah. Hey, if it's like, oh, like you could, like, plus up your energy levels or. No, I'm just talking. Yeah. I wouldn't know what you're going to say about me. I don't know. Yeah, I'm going to. I'm going to. I can't be anything other than myself.
00:38:54:03 - 00:39:13:08
Unknown
So it's going to be one of those things like, well, these type of people don't like me. Like I notice a drop in our viewership in the UK. Oh, I don't know what that's about. I don't know if it's cause I made jokes before. Oh, you did my the joke about Piers Morgan. I did. And we had a drop.
00:39:13:08 - 00:39:48:00
Unknown
I don't know if like, YouTube just knew. I was like, offending British people. But yeah, we had a drop. It went down from like 10% to 5%. Yeah. Okay. To my fellow Brits, we need you. We love you. We want you to tell you what half these stories are from British people. So the British people, we're finding these stories on Reddit and British people are really out there on Reddit like they're they're doing the most that could be good or bad at all for anybody who doesn't know what that means.
00:39:48:02 - 00:39:59:01
Unknown
Depends. Anyway, uh, yeah. Thanks for tuning in. Uh, thank you. We'll talk to you next week. See you soon. Piece by piece. Pew, Pew, pew.