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Join James Petrossi in 'Leave the Feed: 30 Days of Disconnect' as he interviews creators and mental health advocates about their journeys, the digital quagmire, and tips to create a healthier relationship with social media.
[00:00:00]
James Petrossi: Hello and welcome to Leave the Feed 30 Days of Disconnect. Today is day six. Time to log off a special time in this journey where we put our social media apps to the side and we really focus on our reconnection. And right now joining us is Nila Makhfi Nila, welcome to the show.
It's so great to have you with us today.
Nila Makhfi: Thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to be chatting with you.
James Petrossi: I'm excited to be chatting with you. You actually wrote the words of encouragement for the section of the book, so it's an honor to have you sitting in with me today and to get started, let's talk about your journey as a human in the world of digital creation. Like how did all of this unfold for you?
Nila Makhfi: Of course. [00:01:00] So I mean, I have always been very passionate about like storytelling and taking videos. I remember. When I was a little kid, like around 10 years old, me and my cousin would always just put an iPad, press record, and then like play music with our iPods and like kind of act to it, dance to it.
And I always look back at those videos too because it was way before musically or any of these apps that were out. But we still just love that concept of. Recording ourselves and making content ultimately. So yeah, I started then, then I had my own social media pages would post a lot, but I started to love the whole process of editing and putting music behind videos and collages and like telling a story with that. So I would post a lot from. Different like experiences that I had. Then I started college and I got pretty involved with different organizations and I would do social [00:02:00] media for them. So I would like always be the person making the videos from the event. And when I was at UCLA, I actually reached out to Dylan to see if we can expand reach, which is a social media organization to UCLA. So. There, we brought together an amazing team and we launched that organization, but we had a whole community of creators. So being surrounded by that too, I started to post more because we would do a lot of brand partnerships and we would get the opportunity to make content for brands. So yeah, and now I'm just working on my own content.
I post mostly on LinkedIn, actually. Like that's a, a platform that I'm pretty. on, and it's just expressing yourself and your story and putting it out into the world because you never know who it's gonna resonate with. So I think every time you hit posts, like it's kind of like a mystery that will unravel, I guess.
James Petrossi: So tell me about your time at Reach and getting involved with the creator community and what did you [00:03:00] love about and what do you love about being a creator and, and being involved in that community? I.
Nila Makhfi: Of course, I feel like when I went to it, I actually had no clue what I was doing. So the summer before we started reach, I interned at Snapchat, and after that I thought I had like the perfect resume to heavily get involved with school organizations and. I actually started to get rejected by just applying to be on the leadership board of clubs at UCLA. So that was definitely a stage that was very worrisome for me. But coincidentally, I came across USC reach on my TikTok for You page and I was like, wow, this is such a cool club. Like what are they doing? They're on a photo shoot together. So that's when I went to my roommates and I was like, guys like.
What if we reached out and said if we could expand, reach to UCLA? So we did contacted Dylan. They loved the idea. We expanded the organization and in the beginning we didn't even know what [00:04:00] our programming would entail. So we just kept on going back to Dylan, seeing like what our brands that we can work with, how can we bring the creators together?
But we realize that there's just. A wide range of like micro to macro influencers on these college campuses. And a lot of the micro influencers are always looking for opportunities as well. So I remember our first collaboration was with a local restaurant called Tuck, and we basically said, is there any way that you can host. of us, which are all content creators and give us free food in exchange of all of us. Like posting about it and storing about it. And the thing is, when you get like 30 influencers the same spot, they're also gonna be making content together. So I remember after the event. There was just so many different versions and so many different angles of the event that we were able to capture and each person was telling the story of the event in such a different way. That was like super interesting to me and it just made me realize that [00:05:00] there's such a huge opportunity here to work with a lot of different brands, create opportunities for this creators and yeah, the space for them to capture the content but also allow it to be valuable for brands so. that's how I got involved. Then after the two years I started grad school at USC, coincidentally they were looking for a new board and I applied to lead that organization as well. So got pretty involved with the USC influencers as well. And yeah, it's definitely super interesting seeing how each of them has such different niches. And how they get different partnerships. They get different opportunities based on the type of content that they're making.
James Petrossi: That's awesome. I know we talk about in this podcast a lot with all of the guests. Obviously social media is not the enemy. It's an asset in today's world, and to be involved in storytelling for yourself with brands, collaborations is beautiful. I mean, that's what life is all about to create. We're all bringing something into this world right [00:06:00] now.
Within that, no matter what you're creating, whether it's in a digital world or the physical world, we all deal with stress. We all deal with challenges in our mind. And for you, what were some of the challenges with social media? In terms of your mental health or wellbeing or just wellness, and then how did you make adjustments over your experience working within the digital category to sort of minimize those challenges?
Nila Makhfi: Definitely, I mean, I think it really ties into mental health. I actually come from a psychology background, so I highly recognize the impact of social media on mental health for me. It became that, you know, as I'm scrolling, I'm seeing all these people do all these different things that aligned with my passions.
So I wanted to do all these different things that people are doing, but then. Because I was just like seeing all this content, it became overwhelming. But then I realized I'm 1% continuously seeing so many [00:07:00] different stories and want to tie that all into my one life. And that just doesn't work with like timing, with responsibilities, duties I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I realized that each person is just pushing out their own story. When we are the people that are consuming all of it at once, it just might make us feel that we're not doing enough. But if we just focus on our own story and see all that we're accomplishing, see like what our day-to-day looks like, focusing on that, that's how I was able to transition out of that like comparison mindset, which obviously still continues to come on as well. Right now, as I mentioned, I'm most active on LinkedIn. And LinkedIn is a platform where everyone shares their accomplishments, like when they got a new job, when they got a new role, and are gaining a new experience. That's a highlight. But I'm started to be in this algorithm, which is all about like founders building out in the open. So they are sharing the ups and downs, [00:08:00] and I love being in that algorithm because it's like, yes, there are the highs, but there's also the lows. And just engaging with each other's like content on that and supporting each other on that has been super fulfilling, which is why I started Linked Up, which is this organization that brings. LinkedIn creators so they can meet in person, talk about different personal brands that they are building, and also get familiar with each other because of the face-to-face interactions and support each other's content. So yeah, it's still very in the preliminary stages, but after hosting one event, we actually got super positive traction and we're hoping to host more events with brands and creators.
James Petrossi: I saw on LinkedIn that you had hosted that event and it warms my heart. I thought, this is so beautiful, like online to offline. This is what reconnection ISS all about. And tell me about like the experience that you had in that. Meetup versus what exists in the digital space, like [00:09:00] what was different about it?
Nila Makhfi: I mean, so just putting together that invite list was literally people's content that I see and I love and I enjoy. So it didn't matter how many followers they had, it was more about like, are they putting themselves out there and sharing their story? So meeting them in like real life, even though again, no one's like that famous or anything.
I felt like so excited and like starstruck in a way, but it was just so amazing seeing like. The community come together and just share their stories personally because there was new questions that came up and like there were new points that of like resonating with each other, let's say stuff that's not on your LinkedIn, but it's more about like past or like where you've lived before or like if you have a sibling, you know, maybe that's not often shared on LinkedIn, but those were points of like mutuality that brought people together too, and. the [00:10:00] thing. When I did the event, I didn't tell anyone to post about the event, but afterwards it was just like everyone wanted to share how fulfilling the experience was because it was not something that had been like done before with that specific niche. Like there's events that are for creators, but LinkedIn is just. Such a unique platform where the creators are value they highly value educating their audience. All of the content is value driven and they are very intentional with what they post. So I think with all of those people being in an intimate setting of like 30 creators, but also getting the opportunity to meet each other and share their stories.
It was actually super fulfilling for me. That's why I just wanna continue hosting more because it just brings me joy, like seeing the conversations happen. And we also did do like a speed dating thing, which was like just networking, but you had to switch partners just to have the opportunity to get to meet everyone. And that was a huge success too. So yeah.
James Petrossi: That's so much fun. I [00:11:00] know. I will come to the next one for sure. I'm so excited about it and I'm ready to start actually getting back into LinkedIn. And I've taken a long sabbatical from, from social media. Tell me about like your other social media channels and, and how do you use those and when do you disconnect from 'em?
Like what frequency and when do you know? Like enough is enough when you get into like bad scrolling habits.
Nila Makhfi: Yeah, it's just like. It's funny because you realize that you're just scrolling a lot and that you just can't stop, which is also the crazy part. And sometimes let's say I'm just at home and then I see like my mom scrolling so often, or my brother and then I see that they've sent me so many like reels to check out.
I'm like, they took this much times. Watch these reels and these are probably like selected to be sent to me. So just imagine how much more time like they are spending actually scrolling. It's really. for you page and your explorer page has really like mastered the content that you enjoy watching, which is super [00:12:00] scary. But I mean, I spend a lot of time on Instagram. That's definitely a social media platform that I mostly use. And I love it because the story feature really allows you to like see what people around you are doing. But also one thing that I do love about social media. Is the fact that you can keep in touch with your network.
You know, like let's say maybe with a friend, I don't have the opportunity to talk on a daily or weekly basis, but by just seeing their stories and responding to them, I'm able to keep the connection. And the friendship and kind of help that flourish. So that is one thing that I really do enjoy about social media. And again, even like, it allows you to keep people top of mind. Like someone you see is like working on a film project and you know that one of your other friends is interested in getting into one. You kind of like start connecting the dots where I think if social media wasn't there, that would be so hard to do. But yeah, so with that being said, I spend a lot of time on Instagram, but it's more of like an intimate space and [00:13:00] like I really share what is like true to me, whatever I feel like sometimes I like story a lot. If I'm at an event, sometimes I don't story at all about it. It also really depends on like what stage of life that you're at.
For example, a couple months ago, I wasn't at a good mental state, so I was not posting content at all. And I'm still like just transitioning back, but I think a lot of people are now just fully deactivating their Instagrams. Right. I have never done that before. I've thought about it, but I don't think I've that like unhealthy stage that I'm. Like I don't wanna post. But also with the career field that I'm in, it's very important to stay updated with the trends and also see what brands are doing. See what creators are doing. So one struggle that I've noticed that I've had is like, how do I disconnect my work in social media with my personal social media consumption? And yeah, but I also really do like Snapchat because it's a [00:14:00] very, like, it's a space that if you want to consume more content, you can on spotlight and everything, but just the opportunity to share content like one-on-one with the people in your network and it being so in the moment, it's so like. I don't like using the word authentic, but it is authentic and I just think it, I even like got my mom to get on Snapchat when I was a college student because I wanted to send her in the moment content. So yeah, I think between Lynn, Snapchat and Instagram is like, those would be my top three social media platforms currently.
James Petrossi: Now, today's day six, it's all about logging off. And you wrote in the book, I think you talked about, you know, studying and for an exam and getting rid of distractions. And you said it was just for a brief moment of time, but this new world opened up, right? And when you do. Log off from social media and think of yourself as the subject and you as the [00:15:00] researcher.
What do you notice about yourself? What do you notice about the world around you when you're not beholden to social media? Even if that social media is providing you with connection in the business world and helping grow, you know, your prominence as a creator.
Nila Makhfi: A hundred percent. I think it's very important to like disconnect, to connect like that really resonated with me because sometimes like I'm literally just sitting with family too, and then I find myself on my phone and I'm like, this is such a. Pure intimate moments that we have as a family together.
Like why am I distracting myself with being on my phone? So let's say whenever we're eating food or whenever we're watching movies, like we always put our phones away because it's that distraction also, even if you're just talking to someone and they're holding a phone. That also leads to a little disconnect.
Like if a person has fully their [00:16:00] phone away and you guys are just speaking with no technology around you, there's a different level of connection versus if someone even is holding a phone because of that, like potential for distraction. So I think it's just very important to know when log off and let's say during the day we have so much work that we're on computers, like it doesn't count. With us being on social media, but we have these digital distractions that I do think when it comes to just spending some time for yourself, you need to dedicate those hours a day where you fully disconnect. Like I know even when I go on a run in the morning, sometimes it's hard because I wanna listen to music with my phone, but I also don't want to even have like technology like around me because I want to just fully take in, in nature and like seeing my surroundings. It's really about like knowing who you are and what like distracts you or what [00:17:00] allows you to fully like be involved with the moments around you because. The good thing is like the capturing the moments, right?
Like I love taking pictures because it's like you're in a moment and you wanna be able to like cherish it for a long time. And so like having a phone around and just capturing moments is very special. But when you do it too much that it takes away of you fully being present. It's. sad and I've been a victim of it to myself, but I think as I go on and I hear people are deactivating their platforms and like they, there's so many apps now that you can use to like disconnect. I know one, I haven't tried it. It's called Be Present and it basically like reverses the psychology behind how you're brought onto like the platforms. I haven't used it yet so I can use it and I'll definitely let you know how it works. But the fact that I'm like even getting the ads for a platform like that, I think they're targeting people that are like using it so much.
James Petrossi: Right.
Nila Makhfi: yeah, it really makes you like [00:18:00] step back and Yeah. Want to like just be more in the moment, which is also again, why the IRL events are so big right now. Because when you're in person, it's not like you can be at a networking event and just be on your phone like. see, everyone is chatting with each other.
You see, everyone is like trying to get to know each other. So that just pushes you to do that too. And I think like that's the new wave. Like that's the new cool. Like being in person, connecting IRL, like we're done with the whole. Pandemic stage that we had, which really brought us more into our phone. So like how can we find new ways, whether if it's a run club or like an organization that brings together like creators to form intimate connections, like how can we build those connections in person?
James Petrossi: Do you feel when you're with groups of people in the physical world trying to meet in real life, that there's still a tension of someone bringing out their phone and then other people [00:19:00] doing some behavioral mirroring of also grabbing their phones? And I know we're going through this transition of like, yeah, we were so deep in the pandemic.
We all learned some. Good behaviors and bad behaviors, you know, and like switching out of those bad behaviors into the good behaviors and finding that balance of when do I want to create a story? When do I wanna know more depth about your story? What's that like?
Nila Makhfi: Yeah, I think you definitely like, you know, if a person is going on their phone, like I remember, was just chatting with a friend and then I got a on a call and I noticed like they just went and scrolled on their social media, right? Like once you see the person in front of you is distracted with. Being on their phones, like you automatically go in that space too. And so I know like there's some events that like, don't even allow for phones. So you're fully just like locked in, in person and [00:20:00] present. But I think again, it goes back to knowing yourself, which a lot of people like, we're in such transitionary stages because at one point, like phones didn't define our lives and like our jobs and our roles, but. now it's like you have to maybe go on meetings, then you have to message like your coworkers, then you have to then like you get a notification on Instagram and then you wanna go on it. So it's like, it kind of has integrated into our lives. So like naturally and it's so evident that, I think it's hard to avoid it, but I think it's also important to set boundaries.
So if a person is like really looking to disconnect, like maybe mentioning this to their coworkers and to the people that they work with, and. I like, people are flexible. Like at the end of the day, people are like just humans. They have a heart. They the best for each other ultimately. So I feel like even if a person is really aiming for that, just sharing about it because it could one, motivate the [00:21:00] others around them to like try it out too.
Like I remember when my friend was mentioning that like she's deactivating her Instagram. It does bring up thoughts in my head like, what if I did it? Like what if I took a break? How long would that take? What would that entail for me as like being so involved in social media for a job? However, I think just like sharing. This and being open to like being vulnerable about why you're doing this is important because it can inspire others around you too to one, understand you better, but also like maybe it motivates them. Maybe it's like that little push that they needed to take that leap and like give themselves a break from social media too. So yeah, ultimately I think it really impacts how we interact with each other when we have our social media around. But. now going back to all these like in-person events, sometimes it just really doesn't feel natural, right? To like have your phone out when you're like talking to someone.
When you're talking to a group, like it's a natural instinct to put it away too. [00:22:00] So I'm hoping that we see more of that. And so we're able to like fully connect.
James Petrossi: Yeah, definitely. And it is a unique period of time because before the pandemic, there wasn't really an expectation to be on social media across. All demographics and psychographics and jobs, and now it's almost like a prerequisite. It's like, do you have a podcast? What content are you putting out? How many followers do you have?
It's becoming the norm. And when I first talked to Dylan about Leave the Feet a long time ago, he was like, in the future, a lot of people are just gonna get completely judged on. Their social media following and platform and what they're putting out into the world in terms of content. And that might be true, and I think we all need to make sure that we are sharing good messages with the world and putting ourself out there.
However, it's important to log off and take a break. And there's people right now who are on day six of this 30 day journey maybe looking for some inspiration to spend [00:23:00] less time on social media. What words of encouragement. Would you have for them to keep this journey going on a critical moment when they are gonna log off of their platforms?
Nila Makhfi: Of course. So I mean, if they're on day six, that means they already did the hard part. I think just starting initially is extremely hard. So. Yeah, like congrats. But also just like take in the journey and like the ups and downs and like reflect back.
I remember actually a couple days ago I was talking to my dad and he was saying like the way that they used to even share like contact information, like. 30 years ago was super different, which like obviously, but like we don't take a moment to reflect and pause and think of that. You know, we're just so in on this generation and how things work and how things are just so automatic and with like technology and digital media [00:24:00] that we don't think back on, like people used to live without phones, you know?
And right now you're just like, you are doing this whole challenge like you. Getting to experience that which is so rare in this generation that like that just puts you way ahead. So if anything, if you are listening to this, like that's super inspiring to hear and I'm sure if others hear your story, they would be super inspired because it takes a lot of courage to do something like that. And you also gain a whole new experience that like. lot of people in our generation don't have access to. So that just makes you very special and unique.
James Petrossi: Thank you so much. Super insightful. You've been an, an awesome guest. What's next for you in life? Like what's next in your trajectory?
Nila Makhfi: Yeah, I mean it's like, again, very transitionary stage 'cause I just finished up my grad school and I studied consumer psychology, so it definitely does tie into this whole new world as well, but. Right [00:25:00] now I am focused on different things. I really wanna take Linked Up more seriously because just like the positive sentiment that I received afterwards was super fulfilling to me.
And I've had so much experience like building creator communities and hosting these events. So if I can continue doing that, but also like. in value and like education within it about how to build your personal brand. And because, you know, as Dylan mentioned, it is super important in this generation because that's like. that you do get judged on, but it's like, how can you be supported in that process? Like, how can you know that you have like a group like engaging with your content and pushing you to like be better? But also like meeting them so you know, like. The journey of content creation and the ups and downs of it.
So I definitely wanna focus more on just bringing these creator communities together. Also, just seeking brand partnerships is super fulfilling because sometimes you get to host events and like [00:26:00] get brands to collab that they would've never expected to collab. So it's just kind of like magical together, which is super fulfilling for me. Also, yeah, just like working in social media now I realize. That I love making content, but I don't know how much I love making it when it's for just like stuff that are not too personal for me. So having gained some experience, like doing social media for different organizations has made me realize that I just want to step back a bit because when I was doing it so much for other people, it made me do it less for myself and. I love capturing content to be able to look back on, like when I was in grad school, I did weekly diary recaps of my grad school experience, and that was literally for me to be able to look back on and to see like. my one year of like master's program entailed right In like 10 years. I'd love to see that because I know I'll forget it, but I think when I started to do it so much in my [00:27:00] career for a job, it just became like not as fun anymore.
So right now I'm just seeing what that would entail, again, very transitionary stage for me. So maybe in like a couple months I would have a better answer. For you. But I think I'm like gaining way more clarity right now, working on a startup with my brother too. It's just a lot of moving pieces, but I know if I want something to succeed, I need to go 120% into it because the output would ultimately be so much better.
So yeah, definitely conquering a couple different projects figuring it out because you know, if you like work in social media or marketing or just in this digital space, it's not. Like a straightforward path, right? People come from such different backgrounds, from such different experiences that you really need to pave your path in it.
So yeah, defining that slowly for myself, but just being surrounded by people like you who are doing such cool things has been super inspiring.
James Petrossi: Thank you so much. Really appreciate you. [00:28:00] Thanks for being a guest.
Nila Makhfi: Of course. Thank you, James.
James Petrossi: Thank you for everyone listening. Stay the course share, leave the feed with a friend and don't be afraid to disconnect. Thank you.