Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

How to communicate with impact when the stakes are high.
Communication isn't about getting information out. It's about making sure it gets through. In an era of fragmented attention and endless platforms, the challenge isn't finding ways to speak—it's finding ways to connect.
According to Farnaz Khadem, Vice President of University Communications at Stanford, great communicators start with three questions: What's the goal? Who's the audience? And what does the data tell us? Whether guiding a university through a crisis, helping experts share their ideas with broader audiences, or deciding where a story should be told, she believes effective communication centers around understanding people. "People want to know what's actually happening," she says. "And if what is happening is you don't know what is happening, you have to tell people you don't know."
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Khadem joins host Matt Abrahams to discuss the importance of preparation, transparency, and active listening when communicating during uncertainty. From navigating the opportunities and risks of AI to crafting stories that create genuine connection, she shares practical lessons for building trust, adapting to changing audiences, and communicating effectively when the stakes are highest.

Episode Reference Links:
Connect:

 Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (02:38) - Communication Fundamentals
  • (03:58) - Choosing the Right Channel
  • (05:38) - Building Communication Networks
  • (06:50) - Coaching Better Communicators
  • (08:44) - Crisis Preparation
  • (10:47) - Crisis Response
  • (12:40) - The Power of Storytelling
  • (14:28) - AI in Communications
  • (17:29) - The Final Three Questions
  • (24:23) - Conclusion

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Creators and Guests

Host
Matt Abrahams
Lecturer Stanford University Graduate School of Business | Think Fast Talk Smart podcast host
Guest
Farnaz Khadem
Vice President of University Communications at Stanford | Former Foreign Service officer for U.S. Department of State

What is Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques?

One of the most essential ingredients to success in business and life is effective communication.

Join Matt Abrahams, best-selling author and Strategic Communication lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business, as he interviews experts to provide actionable insights that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact. From handling impromptu questions to crafting compelling messages, Matt explores practical strategies for real-world communication challenges.

Whether you’re navigating a high-stakes presentation, perfecting your email tone, or speaking off the cuff, Think Fast, Talk Smart equips you with the tools, techniques, and best practices to express yourself effectively in any situation. Enhance your communication skills to elevate your career and build stronger professional relationships.

Tune in every Tuesday for new episodes. Subscribe now to unlock your potential as a thoughtful, impactful communicator. Learn more and sign up for our eNewsletter at fastersmarter.io.

Matt Abrahams: In today's world,
communication is all about

juggling multiple priorities.

With focus and intention,
you can be successful.

My name is Matt Abrahams, and I
teach Strategic Communication at

Stanford Graduate School of Business.

Welcome to Think Fast,
Talk Smart, the podcast.

Today, I am very excited to chat with
my colleague and friend, Farnaz Khadem.

Farnaz is the Vice President of
University Communications at Stanford,

where she oversees the institution's
global media relations, digital

strategy, and internal communications.

Prior to Stanford, Farnaz
served as the Vice President

of Communication at Caltech.

Her background includes public
service with the US Department of

State as a foreign service officer.

Well, welcome, Farnaz.

Thanks for being here.

I look forward to continuing our
coffee chats so everybody can hear.

Farnaz Khadem: Yeah.

Thanks for having me, Matt.

I'm really actually happy to be here.

You and I have been talking for
a long time about this and having

some great conversations, and it's
nice to bring it to this forum.

Matt Abrahams: Excellent.

I agree.

Shall we get started?

Farnaz Khadem: Absolutely.

Matt Abrahams: So to begin, your team is
involved in many types of communication.

Do you have some overarching
principle that guides how you

see effective communication?

Farnaz Khadem: First, let me
tell you that as a communicator,

I like to think in threes.

You think in threes, you talk in threes,
you remember it, other people remember it.

So I'll tell you the three things.

First is just know your goal.

Communications is about what is
it you're trying to get across.

And if you don't know what that
goal is as an individual or an

organization, you're just, you're
not gonna be able to do anything.

Second is know your audience.

That's the other thing that people don't
always think about is you gotta really

be thinking about who you're talking to.

And the third is know your data.

I think we're gonna probably
talk a lot about listening today.

So much of communications is
about listening and not talking,

and data is the way you listen.

I mean, when you work in an organization
like this, you are constantly having to go

back and see what worked and what didn't.

So if you don't know your data,
you don't know your audience,

you don't know your goal.

So it's all kind of a circle.

So those are really our overarching
principles when we think about this.

Matt Abrahams: Absolutely.

Have to have a clear goal.

We talk a lot about goals.

The understanding your audience, and
I wanna talk about audiences 'cause

you have many that you have to serve.

And then this notion of reflecting,
using data to understand what works,

what doesn't work, how do we craft
that message, really important.

A lot of people just see the goal of
communication as getting information

out, but it's really how does it land,
and you've captured that in those three.

You also have to traverse a
wide variety of channels, right?

Social, there's written,
magazines, newspapers.

How do you think that landscape is
changing, and are there certain messages

that are better for certain channels?

That seems to be another big
variable you have to deal with.

Farnaz Khadem: It's such a
good question, and it is such

a conundrum right now, right?

Because the exponential increase
of channels is phenomenal.

The noise out there, the cacophony, right?

People are overwhelmed with information,
and so most things don't even get through

because there's just too much out there.

So I think part of the
testing is exactly that.

You look back to the audiences, right?

We know that some audiences
prefer things in short bursts.

They want video.

They prefer Instagram.

The shorter, the better.

We look a lot at, like, national
polls, too, or international polls.

Like Pew says that half of people right
now get their news from social media.

I mean, that's phenomenal.

So if that's a place where we need to push
out more news, we try to do that that way.

Longform still has a place, right?

Longform writing, stories, they're still
really important, but people aren't

gonna read 2,000-word stories anymore.

Very rarely are they gonna do that.

So one of the things we do as a team is
we sit down and let's say we have a story,

we actually go through that exact process.

We say, "Okay, is this better as
a short piece in writing, maybe

with an accompanying video, and
maybe even with a media pitch?"

Like, we have media relations.

We have really strong people
who talk to journalists.

And sometimes people don't need
to hear it directly from us.

We're actually better off sharing
it with the media, who will

then share it with the public.

And so we go through that
on almost every story.

Matt Abrahams: I think that's a big lesson
for people to take away is that it's not

just the information, but you really have
to think about the channel, and maybe it's

a multi-channel approach for the story.

And sometimes it might be not your
organization, but helping other

organizations amplify and send that out.

That's useful for people to think about.

One of the other things I'm super
impressed with that I think others who

aren't in a university setting who have
some comms responsibility is you'll pull

people together from different areas
who all do communication work and have

them share best practices, have them
learn from each other, really empowering

and enabling them, not just through the
people process and infrastructure that you

talked about, but by actually having them
engage with each other to feel supported.

'Cause it can be lonely if you're
a single comms person sitting out

there, you know, in some corporation.

But being connected can be really helpful.

Farnaz Khadem: We have so many great
people doing communications for

organizations around the university,
but a lot of them are one-person shops,

and so they're, to your point, lonely.

They may not have as much
knowledge about what's happening.

They don't have an ecosystem.

They don't have that connection,
that connective tissue.

And so we thought mentorship is
another great way to do that,

exactly for the reasons you said.

Matt Abrahams: So related to
mentorship, I wanna talk tangentially

about a lot of what your team does
is equip people to communicate who

aren't naturally communicators.

I'm thinking of academics or
staff people working in a lab.

Do you have best practices that you've
observed either in the work you've

done or your people have done to help
somebody who might not be experienced

as a communicator, who, for whatever
reason, is in a position to communicate?

Maybe they've discovered something
new, or they've got some expertise

that's being pulled to the fore.

How do you help people be better
communicators as a coach, as a guide?

Farnaz Khadem: This is one of my
favorite things to do in communications.

You know, I've been doing this work
off and on for decades, and one of

the best things you can do is help
people, because even just a few

tips takes people such a long way.

One of the misconceptions that I have
to tell you about communications is

we all think everybody can do it.

We all went to school.

We can all write.

We can all read.

We can all speak, and therefore we
think communications means just that.

And communications, if you do it
well, is an art, and not everybody,

to your point, can do that, right?

And so we actually do.

We offer that kind of training to
faculty, to staff, to others, and it's

as simple as, I mentioned I started out
talking about the rule of three, right?

You have three things that you
wanna communicate and think about.

And you just tell people even something
like that, "Come up with your top

three things that you wanna say,"
and that's life-changing for them.

They think about that, they process,
and then they are able to more

clearly communicate their thoughts.

We can help people on camera.

We can put them in front of a video
camera and then help them see how they

come across when they're communicating.

We talk to them about their work and kind
of walk them through how to explain that

in a way that is understandable because a
lot of people are very good at being able

to explain their work in the way that they
understand it, but not necessarily in the

way that other people would understand it.

So there's a lot of things that
we can do along those lines that

we really actually enjoy doing.

We think it's a big part of our job.

Matt Abrahams: I love that
you gave three examples.

And people might not know this, but
one of the reasons that the leadership

at the business school, but also you
in your position, were supportive

of this podcast as it started is it,
it gave an opportunity for faculty

to practice, to get out there,
to be sharing their information.

Because part of it, as you said when you
talked about recording people, it's one

thing to understand how to do it, it's
one thing to know your message, it's

another thing to get the reps in doing it.

And so I think it's great that
you help people in all those ways.

Uh, in your various roles that
you've held, especially here, you've

had to deal with public crises.

What advice do you have for our listeners
who have to deal with challenges, perhaps

not on the scale that you have had to?

Farnaz Khadem: So it's such
an interesting question, Matt.

I don't know if I would've started
out my career, or even told you a

decade ago, that crisis would be one
of the things I would do most and I

would spend so much time on, or that
I would enjoy, because I don't think

anybody can say they enjoy a crisis.

But in some ways, it's one of the
most interesting parts of doing

communications for an organization.

So one of the things I've really
loved doing the last few years

in particular is going out and
teaching about how to do crisis.

And so maybe some of what I'll share
is a little bit of what I say in

these courses or talks that I give.

You know, Benjamin Franklin said,
"By failing to prepare, you prepare

to fail." If no one ever takes away
anything else having to do with

communications, I hope they remember that.

The most important thing to do in a crisis
is just to have prepared in advance.

So what does that mean?

Think about what are your top things
that could go wrong in your particular

job, in your particular organization.

What are the top five scenarios of
what kind of crisis you can have?

And they're different, right?

What could happen at a university could
be very different than in a business,

or even in someone's personal life.

What are the things that could happen?

And then you try to plan around those.

Do you have the right tools?

If you're in an organization,
do you have the right people?

Do you know who's supposed to do what?

Do you know roles and responsibilities?

And so that whole process of actually
thinking through what could go wrong and

putting in place the tools and resources
you need to address it is bar none

the most important thing you can do.

Matt Abrahams: Excellent.

So beyond preparation, what are some
things you advise, let's say a crisis

does erupt and you have to now communicate
internally, externally, what do you teach

on how to handle that step in the process?

Farnaz Khadem: I mean, I think there's a
lot of different things you have to think

about at that point of what do you do.

I think one is that it, it really
ultimately when you're in a crisis,

truth and transparency are paramount.

People want to know what
is actually happening.

And if what is happening is you don't
know what is happening, you have to tell

people you don't know what is happening.

So don't assume you have to know
everything before you communicate.

You just have to communicate
and tell people what you know.

Be truthful, be transparent.

Second is in today's world with how fast
things are moving, and as we talked about

the multiple channels and, for example,
how quickly information moves on social,

you have to do it early and often.

So I think the days where you could wait
an hour or two to communicate something,

or a day or two in a crisis are long gone.

And then you have to do it regularly
over and over and over again.

Again, even if you don't
know what is happening.

Those are, like, two of the main
things that I talk about when I talk

about how to communicate in a crisis.

The thing I always end with to tell
people is forgive yourself, because

here's what's gonna happen in a crisis.

It is going to be the fog of war.

No matter how much you have practiced,
no matter how much you have prepared,

it's not gonna go as you think it will.

The preparation will help you,
obviously, because then you are better

able to manage those curve balls.

You're not spending time on the basics.

You're spending time on trying
to manage how things are going.

But in the end, it's not gonna
go exactly as you anticipate.

Things are gonna go wrong, and a lot
of people beat themselves up for that.

And I think that's the one thing
is forgive yourself, go back, do

that learning, incorporate those
learnings for the next time, and just

know that's the way a crisis works.

Matt Abrahams: I love the idea that
you're doing reflection, a postmortem

to learn, giving yourself grace to
understand that it's not gonna go

perfectly, and there might be things
that go wrong, but we can learn from it.

And yet again, you didn't disappoint.

Three T's: truth, transparency,
and I'm gonna add timeliness.

I'd like to get your insight
into what makes for a good story.

Now, I know it depends on the audience,
but are there certain elements

that you like to see in stories?

Is there, for example, it has to
have some emotional appeal, or

there has to be something vivid?

For you, what makes for a good story?

Farnaz Khadem: So I love that question
because there's so much focus right now

in the age of AI on storytelling, right?

So you're seeing articles and
headlines all the time about what is

good storytelling, what is the room
for storytelling in the world of

artificial intelligence, and so forth.

There are many elements, I
think, to telling a good story.

For me personally, I think the
single most important thing is

does it create a connection?

And ultimately, a connection is
usually about something personal.

You can be a great speaker.

When I think about TED Talks, what
are the ones that really resonate?

It's when somebody gets up and they are
vulnerable, and they share something

about themselves and their background
and who they are, and all of a sudden

that connection is made, human to human.

And that is the essence of a great story.

And I think all the other things
are really important, and I see

it in my own personal life, right?

Anytime I'm talking to someone, whether
it's one-on-one or I'm giving a talk or

I'm somewhere else, when I share something
about my background, how something in my

life taught me a lesson that brought me to
where I am, I instantly notice a change.

And so I think that connection and
that personal nature is absolutely core

Matt Abrahams: As somebody who
has interacted with you and heard

the stories you tell, you, you're
very good at connecting and use

several techniques to do it.

You like to use analogies, you like to use
descriptive language, and there are a lot

of tools that can enable that connection.

But I agree, it, it
boils down to connection.

And you alluded to AI.

AI is impacting communication
all over the place.

As somebody who runs a communication
organization, what is your approach

to using AI to help and also being
concerned about some of the problems

that come with people who use AI in
terms of hallucinations and other things?

How are you approaching that, and what
guidance are you giving your team?

Farnaz Khadem: Yeah.

So we spend a lot of
time talking about AI.

I believe very strongly in moderation
in all things, and that carries over

for me into the workplace, and AI
is a really good example of this.

So we're really approaching it in a much
more moderated and methodical fashion.

Every person in the university
communications team at Stanford

has to have an AI goal.

That was something that I said
at the beginning of this year.

But what that means is very different from
person to person and from team to team.

For some people, that may be my goal
is I'm going to take a class and try to

understand better how to write prompts.

For someone else, it might be more of
an incorporation into their daily work.

And I largely let the team know.

I said, "I want you to do this for
you, not so much even for me, for

the institution." I think that having
familiarity with these tools is

gonna be so important for the next
generation of people in communications,

and so I think it's incumbent on me
to help them learn how to use it.

And there are some really great things
that we can and are using AI for.

It certainly can make a lot of
processes easier, whether it be in the

writing or editing phase or so forth.

We can use it, and we're thinking
about more how to use it for targeting

particular audiences, 'cause I think
AI can do a lot to help us find the

right audiences for our messages.

But then to the flip side of what
you asked about, there are a lot of

problems too that can come with that if
people rush to try to do it too much.

So the other thing we did is we worked
with actually some great faculty and

others around the university, and we
created AI guidelines for communicators,

and these are now publicly available.

And they're just some basic
common sense things that try to

address the fact of attribution.

If you're gonna use AI, don't tell people
you've used AI in some process in this.

Two is, you know, understand the
hallucinations are real, so make sure you

have backed up in terms of fact-checking
anything that you have out there.

And I think that's gotta be, those
two things have to go hand in hand.

Explore in moderation.

See how it can help you.

And on the other side, be careful and make
sure you know where the red lines are.

Matt Abrahams: Thank you
for summarizing that for us.

The key takeaway I have from what you
said is just because it's there doesn't

mean you need to use it, doesn't mean
you need to use it in a specific way.

I like that.

And I think all of our colleagues across
the university who are so instrumental

in advancing AI would be very pleased
with your answer, so that's great too.

Farnaz, I knew this would
be a great conversation.

We always have great
conversations when we grab coffee.

I'd like to end by asking you three
questions, one I'm gonna create

just for you, and two I've been
asking everybody for a long time.

We started our talk today
highlighting listening, reflection.

I'd love for you to share a little bit
of advice on how you try to listen well

and any advice or guidance you give
others to improve listening skills.

Farnaz Khadem: I'm gonna share a story.

I had a lot of great experiences when
I worked as a US diplomat overseas.

I was incredibly privileged to do so.

And one of them was to meet
some really phenomenal people.

And when I was serving in Italy, I
had the chance to meet Bill Clinton.

And one of the great things that people
will talk about Bill Clinton all the

time is that he is a great communicator,
but one of the reasons that I thought,

and I saw it firsthand, was when I got
to meet him, is he makes you feel as

if there is no one else except you,
like he is truly listening to you.

And I met him in a public forum in
Florence with 1,000 people around us.

But in that 20 seconds, I felt
like I was the only person.

There was a real connection there.

Not all of us can be Bill Clinton.

But I felt very much
that taught me something.

If your attention is fully on someone,
you're not multitasking, you're not

looking over to the right, you're
not doing something else, but you

actually look like you're listening
to someone, that can go a long way.

And that one very short interaction
taught me a lot years ago.

Matt Abrahams: Yeah, paying attention
and then having the intention to

really connect makes a big difference.

And regardless of what you think of
his politics, he is very well known for

that ability to connect and to listen.

Question two, who is a communicator
that you admire, and why?

Farnaz Khadem: See, I thought that
question might come 'cause I'm a

longtime listener to your podcast.

And I'm gonna be a little contrarian,
and I'll tell you why I think one

of the things that we've talked
about here, communications has

so many different facets, right?

You gotta be a good listener, you
gotta be able to be clear, you gotta

be passionate about your topic.

Different people have different
strengths, and it's hard for me to think

about one person who has all of that.

So we just talked about Bill Clinton
and his ability to listen and connect.

If you look at someone, let's
say like an Oprah Winfrey, she's

fabulous at warmth, and that is a
really important part of connection.

I spent many years doing technical
or science communications, but

when I look at somebody like a Neil
deGrasse Tyson or a Bill Nye, their

ability to simplify is their strength.

So it feels to me like you can take little
pieces and parts of everybody out there,

like the things that really matter to
you, and say, "I want a little bit of this

and a little bit of that and a little bit
of that," and so no one person has that.

I love a little piece of all of them.

Matt Abrahams: So I will accept
your heresy, because what you

just shared in your response is
the purpose of this question.

It's really to look behind what
makes for good communicators, and

you did a nice job of delineating it.

But I'm gonna give you an
opportunity in our final question

to give three key ingredients for
a successful communication recipe.

What are the most essential
from your perspective?

Farnaz Khadem: Thank you
for asking in threes.

The three things that I think are very
much a reflection of some of the things

we've already talked about, right?

One is know your goal and your audience.

You gotta know what you're
trying to communicate and who

you're trying to communicate to.

Two, we just finished
talking about it, listening.

Are you a good listener?

Do you do active listening?

Have you spent your time actually thinking
about what the other person has said

as opposed to trying to be the one to
think ahead to what you're going to say?

On the third point, I'm
gonna diverge a little bit.

I'm gonna say if you're an individual,
you're doing it as a person versus as

someone representing an organization.

As a person, I think people hear
this, but they do not always

appreciate just how much nonverbal
communication matters, right?

So how much your eye contact,
your smile, your body language,

your gestures make a difference.

And so be thoughtful and
be intentional about that.

In an organization, if you're representing
an organization for good communications,

I had a great boss once who said, "Farnaz,
a big part of your job is to educate your

bosses. You think people know the same
things you do. They don't know the same

things you do." So effective communication
is to make sure that those who are

decision makers around you are educated.

They know what you know, and that
will lead to good communications

outcomes for an organization.

Matt Abrahams: Wow.

Okay.

Lots there.

So goal-based, focusing on your audience,
listening, reflecting, absolutely key.

We've heard some of that before.

The importance of nonverbals.

It's not just the message, but
how the message comes across.

And then your job is to make sure
that those you're speaking to, be

they your bosses, your peers, have the
information they need to be successful.

So the goal of communication is to
educate, which certainly doesn't

surprise me given the role that you
have as head of comms at a university.

Farnaz, this was fantastic.

Lots of key takeaways from lots of
different areas of communication, from

how we can be better ourselves, how we
can better our organizations, how we can

handle crises, how we can deal with AI.

Thank you so much for your
insight, and thanks for joining.

Farnaz Khadem: Thank you for having me.

That was a lot of fun, Matt.

Matt Abrahams: Thank you for joining
us for another episode of Think

Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast.

To learn more about communication
leadership and crisis management, please

listen to episode 22 with David Demarest.

This episode was produced by Katherine
Reed, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams.

Our music is from Floyd Wonder, with
thanks to Podium Podcast Company.

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