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What comes to mind when you think about your father? Is it joy, pain, or indifference? Whatever it is, it can reveal deeper wounds that still affect you today. In this journey of healing, Zach Garza invites you to explore topics like generational sin, emotional scars, and the transformative power of forgiveness through the lens of his own story of growing up without a father in the home. By confronting the past, you'll discover how to break free, embrace your true identity, and experience the unconditional love of God.
Part one, prepare. Chapter one, setting the stage. Picture Kevin. He's in his twenties, just graduated college, and is nervously preparing for his first serious job interview. He rehearses the handshake, the eye contact, and practices his introduction.
Speaker 1:It's an exciting season as his entire life and career await for him. He slips into a pressed dress shirt and locates his best shoes. As he grabs his only silk tie from the closet, he stands in the mirror only to realize that he has no clue how to tie it. Suddenly, his joyous anticipation is interrupted by a brutal reminder that he never had a father to show him how. With that reminder comes a fresh wave of pain that he sadly stuffs away and ignores.
Speaker 1:Within minutes, he is back to business with a heart that's a little more calloused than it was before. You and I know that the holidays, like Father's Day, can be a fresh reminder of our father wound. But what do you do when you're enjoying a cup of coffee at your neighborhood Starbucks and you see a father hugging his daughter? How do you respond when you're attempting to fix a flat and are suddenly reminded that your dad never taught you how to put on a spare? Waves of pain can find us when we least expect it and can sour even the most joyous occasions.
Speaker 1:Whether it's Kevin and his necktie or seeing a dad cheer for his child at a baseball game, these pain points can sneak up and steal our joy. For me, no matter what is going on in my life, certain experiences have a way of reminding me of my past. Growing up without a father and the impact it continues to have on me is, without a doubt, the most difficult thing I have had to deal with in my life. Different seasons present unique issues. Various events may bring up feelings of hurt or grief.
Speaker 1:Dealing with this father wound and recognizing the impact it has on all areas of life is a marathon, not a sprint. I am now going on three decades of my father issue and symptoms of this disease still manage to pop up. It is the unfortunate gift that keeps on giving. I wish I could take a course and be over all of my issues. It would be nice if a six week counseling session would do the full trick, but dealing with the fact that my father wasn't there for me is a one step at a time journey, and every mile is different.
Speaker 1:As a child, you were supposed to have two parents, male and female, there to care for you and provide for you in equal yet different ways. But for one reason or another, your dad couldn't make that happen. You got the short end of the stick. It is not fair. It's not how it's supposed to be.
Speaker 1:Anyone who grows up with an unhealthy relationship with their dad is at a deficit. We all have wounds from that experience. The issue is extremely common, yet everyone's experience with it is unique. No two stories are the same. And yet here's the deal.
Speaker 1:Money can't fix this. Education has little ability to cure it. Physical strength doesn't matter, nor does social status. There's also no way around it. You have to go through it.
Speaker 1:Deliverance does not come through avoidance. Now, it is easy to pull up a chair at the pity party when hearing truth like this. It is tempting for me, as a grown man, to still believe that my life will always be an uphill battle because of what happened to me when I was 13. There are only two ways to go when your heart gets punched afresh by the father wound. One way leads to depression, doubt, and death, and the other, it leads to identity, overcoming, and life to the fullest.
Speaker 1:If you grew up without a father around, or if you have a strained relationship with him, I know how you feel. Maybe you have never given much thought to your past. Perhaps trust issues, bitterness, and a self reliant mentality are causing issues at work or at home. Maybe you feel insecure and fearful and are constantly wondering if you have what it takes to be successful. If so, welcome to the club.
Speaker 1:I've been here a while. Your issues with your father may present a form of jail that is keeping you from experiencing freedom, but God wants to break you out. You are never meant to stay there. It is hard, but it's not impossible. It's a long journey of little steps, but the destination is worth it.
Speaker 1:I invite you on this journey of dealing with your past to face all the emotions and issues that come with the word Father. I continue to find new levels of freedom and life to the fullest in my quest for healing by allowing God to father me, and I want the same for you too. God wants to remove aloneness and heal the wounds that are keeping you from taking your place as a son or daughter in his family. He did it for me, and I believe he wants to do it for you too. I am who I am today because the Lord helped me deal with my past.
Speaker 1:I wrote this book to help people who grew up like I did. I wrote it with the hope that it will allow people to identify the impact that growing up without a father has on their lives and to give practical tools to overcome this. I also plan to share how I not only overcame my issues, but how that has propelled me into the destiny the Lord has for me. God is clear in His Word that He is for the fatherless, He is near to the brokenhearted and executes justice for those without a dad. He is for us, and He wants to be our Father.
Speaker 1:If you're feeling skeptical, fearful, or uneasy, I get it. Talking about your father can twist your heart and ruffle your emotions. Because of my hurt and childhood experiences, I never liked talking about my father. I tried at all costs to avoid even thinking on the subject. This book will stir up some emotions for you, the reader, just like it has stirred up mine, the author.
Speaker 1:It may, at times, leave you feeling sad, angry, hopeful, excited and every emotion in between. It may cause grief and that's okay. To take something out of the darkness where most of our Father issues lie and to get it into the light can be emotionally expensive. Exposure is a grind in the short term, but a gift in the long run. Unfortunately, there is no exact how to manual for dealing with your relationship with your father.
Speaker 1:As much as I want it to be, this book is not a precise step by step blueprint for your exact past and situation. What it is, however, is a set of principles and approaches that can be customized to your specific pain points and applied to your unique trauma. Your healing is an inside job. The freedom will come from you taking a deep dive into your own soul and having enough courage to ask yourself some tough questions. Your father obviously may have hurt you, but how you navigate that hurt is best handled between you and God.
Speaker 1:Make no mistake, there is healing available. There is wholeness. There is freedom. The Lord wants to help you heal from your past. He wants you to see yourself as He sees you, as a child who is loved no matter what, worthy of all His attention and affirmations.
Speaker 1:He wants you to become all that He has for you. The journey awaits. I speak often about growing up without a father as it's a huge part of my story and the Lord has used this awful reality to be a major blessing in my life. There was a time when I was terrified to let God father me. Looking back, I should have been terrified of the alternative.
Speaker 1:Fortunately, he gave me a seat at his table, and he has made a chair available for you too. After telling my testimony in various places, I often hear someone tearfully say, my story is so similar to yours. At that point, I get the privilege to look that person in the eyes and say, there's freedom. Let me tell you how the Lord changed my narrative. If he did it for me, he can do it for you.
Speaker 1:May these pages empower us to face our pains and to shed light on the ones we didn't know existed. Freedom is closer than you think. Let's start the journey to it together. Tell me, what made you want to pick up this book? As you embark on this healing journey, what are some of the desires of your heart regarding your relationship with your father?
Speaker 1:What do you want to happen? What needs to be healed?