Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Building a business shouldn't mean losing your mind.
Strategy, Solutions, & Sanity is the real-world business podcast for owners and leaders who are serious about scaling β but don't want to drown in chaos while doing it.
Host Samantha C. Prestidge cuts through the noise with practical insights on hiring, delegation, team building, operations, and leadership for family businesses and second-stage entrepreneurs.
(No vague "10x your mindset" fluff here β just the strategies, systems, and sanity moves you actually need.)
Each week, you'll get short, actionable episodes that help you untangle the bottlenecks, lead with more confidence, and build a company that runs smoother β without losing the heart, hustle, and humanity that made you successful in the first place.
Whether you're navigating early team growth or getting ready to finally step out of the daily grind, this podcast gives you the tactical tools and real-world advice to build your business the smart, sustainable way.
π Follow Strategy, Solutions, & Sanity for practical strategies to help you lead, grow, and actually enjoy your business again.
βWelcome to Strategy Solutions and Sanity, the show for owners who are done with chaos running the show. If you're trying to lead with confidence, build something that lasts and not lose your damn mind in the process, then you're in the right place. I'm Sam, your host and a business and team strategist. I help make the messy parts of business feel manageable from hiring people who actually get things done to building systems that won't blow up.
The second you take a vacation. We're gonna figure it all out together. So let's bring the strategy, the solutions, and most importantly, the sanity to your business.
Okay. Uh, for those tuning in for, or I'm gonna watch later. Welcome to our first live strategy solutions and a sanity. I was just telling Bonnie who is, we're gonna get to this, but she's like my business twin soul sister in a way, but also business mama vibes. , I was just telling her this is my first time going live ever, except for the few podcasters that have tricked me and not told me that their show was live until like.
Day of,
that's when you're like going like this. Like how do I look? You're still Zoom.
And then, but you know what? Because I'm a people pleaser, instead of blaming them for not giving me the information, I'm like, oh, obviously it's my fault because I didn't research their show enough before I joined. Okay.
But lemme give a quick intro into who Bonnie is and why I invited her to be the first guest on the live version. First off, going back to the business mama vibes. I knew my first time going live. If I royally effed up, I needed someone who would keep me laughing, who I trust to be a good human and also would like give me grace when I totally messed up.
And when I put those three things down on paper, I was like, oh, Bonnie, Bonnie has to be first. I just think like all the times we've connected, whether it's on Zoom or in person, it's just been such a fun time. And we're also both, both like, what are you doing? Do I know what I'm doing? I don't know.
Let's just go with, let's just figure it out. I dunno, real life, whatever. Yeah. But then the second reason why I absolutely wanted Bonnie on the show is because a major theme of this year was not only vulnerability, I've been really open with people, like vulnerability has been a huge thing for me in 2025, but also embracing the concept of collaboration over competition and.
For those that don't know Bonnie, or also Dunno a little bit about what I do. Bonnie also has a virtual assistant agency who also has US-based candidates and not International VAs, who's also based in the same metro area, city as me. Like not the same state, but like you're in the Denver area. And then there's all these weird personal boxes that also get checked, like your husband's name is also Scott.
Madison, the universe and the Lord above telling us we need to be man mano sisters. I dunno, right?
Yeah. And then it was like, oh yeah, like we're both faith based and it's like every time we talk, another box gets checked and I don't know what. Possible other boxes. We could even be the
same on, but I'm sure something will come up today.
So the other one was, I almost named my daughter Samantha, just saying,
yeah, that was it. And I was like, I was almost named Amanda. My mom saved me from the name Amanda. I don't like that, but yeah. Oh, you almost named your daughter Samantha. So, oh, man. It's just, it's been such a pleasure getting to know you, and I feel like we've known each other for centuries and it's been less than a year, right?
Yeah. Right, right. So, okay, we're gonna kind of dive a little bit into what the meat of the show is about, which is all about like, Hey, can we be vulnerable? Can we show the messy parts of business? But also can we give people some of their sanity back? And so we're gonna be working back. Words, , from the name of the show.
So everyone, we're gonna start with where we've lost our sanity, go into how we gained it back with solutions, and then go into, okay, what are the strategies we should be focused on now? So our big opener, miss Bonnie, is tell us a time I have, I have way too many times, but we could just focus on one time for you that you totally lost your sanity in business.
Oh my gosh, this is pretty easy 'cause something immediately popped into my head. So I tried not to rehearse or even think about it ahead of time so that I would be real and authentic. And what hit me the hardest was, uh, real unrealistic expectations from a client. Oh, and I quite literally had, um, a VA on my team in the emergency room.
I won't go too deep into why, but it was a domestic dispute type situation. Not only the emergency. I say that, I'm gonna take that back. She was in the ICU. And you know, as a business owner and a remote business owner, you're like, Hmm, yes. Or is she faking it? She's like, that's a really good story, you know?
But I give people grace always, first and foremost. So I believed her. I knew this happened. I contacted her emergency contact. They were like, she's in the hospital, we don't wanna give too much info, whatever. So I believed it. Well, she had just kicked off the week prior with a client. I. And, I guess they had made a plan for what was happening that Monday.
I think it was about Friday before that, that the client contacted me as she should, as her, what we call her virtual account manager, which was my role in that trio.
And so she contacted me and said, oh my gosh, where's my va? Oh. Um, I said, oh, I was just about to reach out to you because she's in the ICU.
And this person immediately went into no grace, no understanding. Um, me like, what are you gonna do, Lonnie? And, uh, I had a plan. Thank goodness. That's why we have this. Extra level. And that was me. And I'm like, I am here to help you. Um, and then I listened to her expectations and what all they had planned.
Well, not only myself, but my husband, who, Scott, you mentioned me, who is my CFO and CTO of the company. Also jumped in. And on Monday and Tuesday we were this person's virtual assistant, the CEO and the CFO of our company. Played VA for two days and she was still not pleased. Still griping about this. Where is her?
Va, I don't believe this va. You know the, and the funny thing was it was not a huge project, and so I did freaking lose my sanity. I lost it, and I'm a calm, loving, gracious person, but being with people that kind don't show any grace or empathy for others, that's when I lose my sanity. Every single time.
And that's just a little bit of the story, but that kind of gives you the gist of it.
Yeah. And I, I know we've talked about this before and every time I, I hear a story like this, it's always just like, I'm so sorry you had to navigate that. Because as much as we try to filter out the PETA's, the pain in the asses, uh, the PETA's, right?
And sometimes those pets come with hummus and a whole bunch of other stuff, filter sales process and like. You know, I, it's really like, I wanna work with good people and good humans, and I don't wanna like just invoice someone just to collect that, that invoice, but like, actually enjoy working with them.
And so when clients like that come along, it's like, man, I'm, that sucks and I'm so sorry you,
as they say, or take the whole damn truck.
I, what's happening? I like, I can't, like, this is beyond my understanding. Right. Like, there are times when I have come home and I've complained to my Scott and I'm like, listen to this.
And there's sometimes where that venting you get to the end and you're like, oh, what am I complaining about? Right. Right. And then there's sometimes you get to the end and the husband is like, that's what you have to deal with. You need someone actually behaved that way. Like a child. Like what?
Yes, absolutely.
It's also really tough, like when you're. Because you were just establishing that relationship with that client. Yeah. Yeah. It was brand new. Yeah. That's different when you know, they haven't gotten a chance to see your working style. They didn't have a chance to know like, Bonnie's gonna have a plan.
It's okay for me to be a good human first. And they also had no concept of the trust with this VA to know if they were lying or not. And also you know, we shouldn't need pictures from the hospital to like know if someone like accept that that's the story.
And you got the leaders of the company helping you. If that didn't speak to, you know, who we were as humans, that, that we would do that and not just say, wait till she gets outta the hospital, you know? Yeah. We were there for her. We were ready to get her another VA in the place of the one that was ill, but.
She wouldn't give us a chance just through a complete tizzy.
Okay, there's this really shitty moment. And then I also like wanna recognize, you know, for the client, like they have no concept of the working style, you we're still establishing trust and all of that.
And so I, I wanna go back to, we can filter out for the peta. And so sometimes these moments feel like very isolated. Like, when will this ever happen again? And sometimes it feels like, oh my god. Here's another kind of difficult, not super compassionate client. And so kind of going into the solutions, have you had to readjust some of your sales filters for this?
Or was it really like a one-off thing? It, it, it, it happens in many different ways. It's not, that was a one-off. Specific way. Um, so what I did as a solution is it only, you know, everything is a lesson learned. So it only helped me, like you said, one filter out who are not my people when I have that initial discovery call.
If they make it past that discovery call gate into a kickoff call, then we are setting clear, clear, clear, ex, clearer expectations After that. Even providing scenarios, you know, like this is what we'll do if, um, you know, contact me if this happens. And so we have so many of the, if thens, you know, in place now that we communicate and over communicate to our clients.
And I think it might have been reactionary at the time, but now it is. So proactive and it just has bulked up the contracts and bulked up that kickoff call like nobody's business.
You know, I wanna dive into that a little bit more because. I know you're a people pleaser and I am too. Thank you.
And kind of what you're saying is I'm hearing a lot of like boundaries for clients, right. And which is awesome. Totally support that. I struggle with that and the reason why I struggle with it is not always because I'm a people pleaser, but it's more of like I show up. At least I hope I show up with a super servant heart for everyone in my circle, which means that then when I am the client, I put really high expectations on others and I'm like.
Pamper me, take care of me. You know, like I still, I still show up with Grace that I'm like, I try to communicate my expectations, but I always still show up when I hire someone with the idea of like, I'm paying you to complete this service to satisfy like whatever needs are here, pamper me.
I'm the princess, right? Yes. And so how for you, with either people pleasing tendencies or high expectations, how do you really like set those boundaries and stick to them?
Yeah. And, and this is where I'm gonna separate from our twin, um, and go more into the mom zone. Yeah. Um, because it, it really comes with age and, and lessons learned because I've had quite a few in 57 years and 40 years of work, um, and, and dealing with personalities and, and unrealistic expectations that as I get older and literally as I do my own podcast and listening to the stories of others.
Hmm. I'm just getting braver and bolder and just speaking what I need in a more stern voice. Mm-hmm. Which typically in the past may have come from men. And I'm sorry guys. Love you guys. Love you, love you. But you know, I'm married to a man, so hey, love men. No complaints with the. I can zone into the old style men that I used to support as an EA in corporate for 30 years.
Mm-hmm. And I can just, what would Matt say? What would Paul say? What would you know Tim say, my old bosses, and I'd be like, I'm gonna just channel these guys right now and state exactly my expectations. I need you to, instead of, will you please do this, reframing the way I say things. Throwing that into chat GPT and asking it, how does this come off?
Do I feel confident? Do I seem manly or masculine? Do I pull up that confident energy and just using the tools that I have and passing it off my network? If I'm still in doubt about the delivery? It's all in the delivery folks. Delivery.
Um, I love the passing it off to your network because there was something that happened yesterday and I texted two different people and I was like, how bad would it be if I posted this on LinkedIn?
And it was kind of like, my feelings about this. And they're like, I'm probably pretty bad. Like, you probably don't wanna do that. Like, but no, I get like the, it comes with age or it comes with at least experience, right? And there are times where I'm like, man, if I can't even set a boundary with my five-year-old about no chocolate milk right now if they can wear me down, then who else is capable
of wearing you down 1-year-old?
Just no. I've got a lot better with boundaries with her. But that's a whole different Oprah. Yeah, for that on this show. Okay.
Unrealistic expectations and people kind of like really pushing the line on what's fair, even though they're paying you. And like there's still that line of what's fair for me? As, as the business, your solution to that is emphasizing boundaries and, and those kind of rules and expectations early on.
It's like kickoff and onboarding.
Yeah, and I would ask something I've learned, through my network and the people that I, that have been supporting me, , is ask a lot of questions. And it's, it always deescalates a situation when you ask a question instead of saying, you did this, say. , How did you feel about what you just did?
And, you know, it can be that simple if you turn it back on them, it's taking the pressure on and the onus off of you and putting it in their laps. Mm-hmm. So that I have found asking, changing a lot of my statements into questions instead. Don't catch me on that. People, if I work for you in the future, no one listening to the Secret.
Put your ear on with my questions. It really helps me as a business owner and it helps even the VAs on my team. I ask. A lot of questions. Now I've met with this person. Are you okay with somebody with a strong personality or somebody that doesn't communicate super well or whatever the situation? That's how I make the match is asking a whole hell of a lot of questions.
Yeah, and just I think first off, when someone's first getting used to something like that, it just comes off as curiosity which is awesome. Right. Walls are down, they can answer questions. And as time goes on and as that relationship continues to build, whether it's clients or it's your team members, what I'm guessing is also that then they come to expect, Bonnie's gonna ask me questions.
Yeah, I have some answers here. And we naturally start to reflect. So are you noticing those shifts with your team members or your clients as well? Yeah,
but surely. But it's literal, literally been. A year and a half or two when I started investing more in myself as A CEO and putting aside that servant nature people pleaser.
I have always been, and really stepping into my CEO shoes and learning to delegate the other parts of my business that I used to be a little too soft in to people that it's their zone of genius and they can do it better than me, so I'm just like. Working on myself, and it's, it's been such a glorious epiphany time in my life that my mind shifts through coaching through a coach I worked for 90 days.
Shout out to Becky Clabaugh
the the people, and shout out to Brian Kirland, one of my clients that I. Even though it's not where I should be as the CEO of this company anymore, but I love working with him because it keeps me in the trenches, so to speak, with my people and that's a valuable thing that anybody might take away from this as well.
Stay in the trenches with your people.
Like I don't, I don't wanna hate on other business models. Totally. Right? Like what works for someone else obviously is not gonna work for me 'cause we're different people. But I do always kind of find it fascinating when someone is leading a VA team and they, they don't really know what it takes to be an executive assistant or to be an admin assistant.
Right. I'm not always still in those trenches, but I'm still like in like some of those, these management trenches with my clients and things, and so I'm always like, you've never been in that role and so yeah, you have learned to manage and hire these assistants. But , do you fully get like their shoes and you know, like not, you don't always have to walk in someone else's shoes to understand them, right?
That's the power of empathy and just understanding curiosity. But I do kind of always find that odd of like, how successful really are you in pairing people and matching those personalities. If you don't know what the assistant shoes are like, you know.
Exactly. Well, I don't know if, I think I told you that my business started out as recruiting firm.
I was, I left corporate to be an administrative recruiter. And the VA side just kind of smacked me in the face when I wanted to make some money in between recruitments, I was like, well, what do I know how to do? I guess I know how to be an executive assistant. Maybe 30 years later I should know what I'm doing.
Maybe I have a little confidence there. I heard this VA thing, I think there their call center in the Philippines and. God bless you. My Philippines people. I love you. I love you. But you know, that's all I thought it was because I was this sheltered non networking corporate gal. So I had no idea, but I found an ad on Craigslist and answered it and became a va, and then I put it out to the world, that I was this shiny new object.
Pre COVID, working from home and everybody banged down my door 'cause my network was all EAs from corporate. I wanna work for you, I wanna work from home. That sounds so cool. You know, and then that's how I had the decision to stay in my recruiting. She's add a silo to my business as a BA agency.
Yeah. So I can do a little bit of both. Yeah.
What I really love about that is that it is a very tangible experience of being open to opportunities. 'cause I think sometimes I hear that on some podcasts, I'm like, oh, thanks for this vague abstract up in the clouds nonsense. Be open to opportunities.
I'm like, I need the opportunities in front of my face. Like I, what whatcha talking right? Um,
between these recruitments. So what the heck am I gonna do?
Yeah. And so like you still went into it with a plan and then went about whatever marketing or whatever strategies you had, and then these other opportunities came up to you and you said, yeah, that makes sense.
Let's do it. Um, and so that is like pulling those up in the cloud strategies down for me. Mm-hmm. And now let me jump back a little bit because we skipped over some stuff that I think has some really great meat in it. So you said two years ago you started really investing in yourself. And what I heard there was we got a coach, miss Becky Augh, who's super awesome and just.
If you haven't, if you don't follow her on, on LinkedIn, I will link her later. Um, she just has such a gracious light about her. Um, anyway, so you started, you invested with Becky and then you started delegating things. Are those, is that what you're kind of defining as investing in yourself or was there something else that happened there?
Yeah, no, I, I joined a couple membership organizations, uh, to expand my network, and those were amazing. So I dipped in, I found my people such as a k, a, and pres, people from those membership organizations and. That was an investment in me, like if you think broadly of it, because I wasn't meeting people just randomly online.
Like I met my husband on match.com. Um, there's no, you know, customers for you do com, you know, like can someone start that new AI tech idea? Just so, and that was investing in me because it. There was a price for memberships, and so that was a monetary investment and a huge time investment, but I knew it was the greater good 'cause I would meet great people and I would bring people into the sales pipeline from just genuine conversations, and I could find the vendors that I needed from a smaller realm of people.
Then I always say then the stratosphere out there of how many different vendors and professional service providers there are. The networking. And the third thing would be, um, probably just investing in myself and self care that's used, that's used a lot and overused, and I frankly like. I'm sad that I even said that because how Wow.
What? How Woo would be selfcare Selfcare self care. Okay. Well there's gotta be another word for it there, but I always take care of myself. Look, I did my hair for you and everything today, so I take care of myself. But it, but if I could name it something else, I would, but it really is what it is. It's like.
Who, what am I going through in my head right now and how can I step away from the chaos and the noise of my business that stretches me at times and sets me on that cliff? So that was another investment in myself is stepping away on occasion, taking my vacations, um, doing those fun things that I was just all about.
The business and hustle culture, not my thing.
No. Oh my gosh, that was such a big epiphany for me as well, about a year or two ago in business of, I was always like, oh yeah, I'm gonna make like this revenue by this point. I'm gonna be, you know, it's gonna be awesome. Living, luxurious, living the life.
And I was like, you know what? Actually the amount of work to get there. I don't think I, at least in this phase of my life, especially, 'cause I have little kids, right? I'm like, I was getting to a point of resenting my kids and I was like, oh, look at these people that either they have grown kids or they don't have kids at all.
Look at how long they can work. Look at like all the networking events they get to go to. I'm like, I can't even go to a happy hour without. Texting my husband weeks in advance of like, who's gonna pick up the kids on this day, and so I was kind of just comparing myself to everyone else that I felt like, at least on, on paper or on like online seemed like they were doing so much better because they didn't have the restrictions of kids. And then I was like, oh, actually I'm making decent money. Cooking for my family, like at dinner, and I'm spending time with my kids and I have time to read my Bible in the morning and I have time for like, why would I not be appreciative of this phase of, or season of life,
right?
I'm like feeling this right here. Girl, you just speaking to my soul. Even though I am on the other side, I'm on the meno brain side, but there's a lot of different hormones going on for me over here that. You know, that was one of my networks I joined. I'm gonna shout 'em out. Second act Women for any women in 40, 50, 60 plus struggling with life, business, career, all that stuff.
I'm not a paid sponsor. However, listen to this ad free ad, Barbara Brooks, um, that I'm giving for you. Um, it, it really helped me find my people. I don't use the word tribe. Sounds weird to me too. Weird things in my head sometimes,
you know, I think it's, what is weird maybe is the things that end up being overused Yes.
In marketing and then it ends up being something that you no longer feel any kind of alignment with, right? Like self-care. Why should taking care of yourself feel weird. I did something new. Yeah. It's because it's been like jaded and kind of like completely owned by a very woo crowd, which are not your people.
Right. Which is okay, like let's you know other people that will resonate. It doesn't resonate with you now because of how it's been and that's okay.
Yeah.
It's investing in those groups. Investing in like barber books. Who was on your delegate to Elevate? Yes, he was. See the coffee, the coffee cup. I see your new
neon sign as well.
Yes. And the funny thing about that Neon Sign folks, just let you know, don't order white. That is not even on because if I turn it on, you can't even see it at the lowest setting. It's so bright you can't see it. So anyway, that's just my little public service announcement announcement.
Well, those are also the little things that we lose our sanity, when you are so excited, like when you put an Etsy order in, or you get something and be awesome.
Just happened.
Everybody's looking at me. Why isn't your sign on? Well, lemme go into the whole story. Lemme go walk over here and show you that I have my sweatpants on underneath this beautiful shirt.
Um, I know, right? Like, I'm like, I'm wearing a suit today. 'cause I have some meetings big girl pants on later, but I'm like, this is a, like, I'm usually girl jammy pants on.
I love Zoom. I love video calls.
Lemme also jump back because one of the other things that I felt like had some meat on it, when we're talking about investing in your in yourself, you also made the comment of figuring out the areas in business that you felt you were soft at. And so I wanna understand what did that mean for you?
What were those areas? How do you feel about those areas now? Like what was the evolution of that?
Yeah. Yeah. So soft at the things I didn't know and thought, I can do this because I know how to do everything. Nobody can do it better than me. So the things I didn't know jumping into this business were sales.
I don't know how to sell. How the hell do you, like? I just blindly went into business for myself saying, uhoh, I need to find clients. Do that. You know, so. That's when I went to like that one client that I still support as a VA is a sales consultant. Um, you know, so who better than to mentor me in the sales department?
And so that was something that I put into play. I also invested in his mastermind. I was in a mastermind group of multimillion dollar sales executive, or not sales executives, just executives. Um. Uh, professional services mostly, I believe for six months we masterminded and it was amazing. I learned so much from these people.
Going from a million to 3 million, you know, admittedly above my range, but, you know, um, but it was a great. Learning experience and it was like learning from your peers.
And sales was big for me. Um, and then letting go of the things that I thought I liked to do was a soft spot for me that people were probably better at.
But I thought this is. Fun. So I think I should do it like my social media. That is something I have delegated out since it's now been delegated out for about three, four years. I'll still dip in once in a while
just because it's fun. I think like the most common things that most like people that are experts in something don't appreciate is social media and sales.
Like those are, I think, the things that people invest in first. That's something I invested in. Like I, first off, I. Also invested in like a, like how to build your agency. And it was all about like team building and man, like it was all like the ops side. Mm-hmm. And I was like, why, why the hell did I sign up for this?
I was like, this is what I do.
Me too.
I'm like, why did, why did I invest in this at all? But I've also had some sales experiences where I'm like. This also just went over everything that I already know it wasn't new strategies. So what I loved about your experience was you got to mastermind with people that were in different industries and in a totally different space than you.
Yeah,
and I think
what a lot of coaching programs or masterminds in general fail at is this idea of like, oh, well, people will appreciate similarities for community and all that does. In my opinion, and I could be totally wrong. Again, like if it works for you, it works for you, cool. Not my people.
Right. Um,
but what I think all it does is it gives one month of this honeymoon hype where you feel validated because someone else has the same shitty issues that you have to deal with.
And then after that honeymoon period, it's like. Oh, well what am I learning from you that I haven't already learned in my own business? Because we're either in the same industry dealing with the same type of clients, or we're at the same revenue point. So like
why? What so spot on. I just have to say that is so spot.
'cause that's where I thought I needed to be at first too, was with my people that are doing the exact same thing at the exact same annual revenue numbers, but no, I had to learn the hard way by making that monetary investment or whatever it was, finding out that, wait, what the heck am I, I already know how to do this.
What am I learning here? Yeah. So, you know, being in the room with the people that you want to be, I have learned is a better space for me. Yeah. And
so on that, and we can, we're, I'm digressing a little bit because I'm, I'm loving the path of this, um, when you show up in a room where there's people that are doing substantially better, right?
Um, you know, where, hey, this is like a $3 million company. And like when I talk to people that have substantially more revenue, it's usually in the sense of okay, like you're gonna be a client. Like, I'm not phased by your revenue. You don't seem like some. Big, bold, CEO, just because you have a billion dollars revenue or whatever.
Right. But when I talk to other service providers or other consultants that are doing super well, that's when I get a little bit of that imposter syndrome and I'm like, oh, I better step up my game. Or whatever. And so how did that show up for you and how did you navigate that?
Oh wow. The biggest imposter syndrome for me is having been just a secretary for 30 years and coming in.
Thinking and trying to convey that I'm the CEO now. Um, and what I always say, like on my podcast is there was a lot of never say nevers that have all happened. Yeah. And the first one was, I never wanna be a CEO because I always worked for CEOs and I saw what they did and had to do and all that they had on their shoulders.
But I am now. A podcast, and now I do a podcast. Never wanted to write books. So that's my biggest word. If I really, truly, it's, it's another cliche saying, never say never, but So true. And so my imposter syndrome was really big at the beginning. I. But again, with age and experience and lessons learned, that imposter syndrome is shrinking every day.
Now I'm just like living in my zone. I am who I am. I'm not afraid of you. Yeah, right. You're brave, you're bold, you're
shining. Right? We're glowing even though the neon light is not on. Okay, so with that, investing yourself with like under being vulnerable, blah, the areas that you were soft in and wanting to learn or delegate, those you mentioned that all helped you to really then sit in the CEO seat.
So what does the CEO seat mean for you now?
Oh, it means time. Like I don't know what to do with the white space in my calendar anymore because I've been, so, I, I am a little braggadocious here, but I have delegated to at least seven people in my company. All the things I didn't wanna do or the things that I was not the best at, , doesn't mean I can't dabble in them like I mentioned earlier, but.
It has given me freedom to be a visionary, do things like this that bring my soul and my heart happiness, and that's what I need in this second act of my life because I've been through all the crap in the past. Mm-hmm. I could Jerry Springer, my twenties. Um, um, I have been through it and I just am not there for it anymore.
So I am enjoying the white space and I am blocking it on the calendar because it's for me now to decide what I want to do with that space. And, that's been life changing, career changing for me, but. One piece of advice that I can almost give to myself and to other, don't always have to fill that white space.
So I'm like, oh God, what else can I do? Then I look at my calendar the next day and it's full. Oops. Oh
my, listen. Okay. So I, I appreciate that because this past Monday I had maybe two things on my calendar and I'm like, oh, what am I gonna do today? This is a lot of empty time. Lemme tell you, all of a sudden yesterday, today, and then Monday through Wednesday of next week, I'm like, when will I eat lunch?
When will I go pee?
I don't know. Say that. No, lemme hear you say that because that's the exact examples I give to people when I talk to him. Like when I talk to that guy, I support like. Did you go to bathroom today? Did you have lunch? Did you like, there's your mom's zone right there for sure. Yeah. Right.
I'm like, I don't
even, I don't know, but I think also like, oh, then how will I have the energy to cook dinner? Like there are times, listen, this is, there was a time. I didn't even realize I was out of olive oil for like a week or two because I wasn't cooking because I was so damn busy. We just like ate dinner out.
Yeah, like or we got chick like, I mean, I'm right by a freaking Chick-fil-A Noodles and Chipotle, so my willpower is at an all time low 'cause I could just walk across the street and get Starbucks and all of
Nice, I'm jealous.
The fact that I didn't even know I was out of olive oil just speaks to where my habits have fallen.
Okay.
Like what the, oh, I have to help you. Gosh, you're just, my heart is like I, that's why I'm an ea. I was an EA birthday because I just am a, that servant natured, I've got to help people when they struggle like that. So that's when me. Myself, myself, I turn introspective and I'm like, Bonnie, this is what you've been helping people with.
Stop doing that, doing. You tell them not to. So it's that that whole do what I say, not what I do thing
You know what, let me also call out a something here, because yes, like my calendar is a little bit packed for the next foreseeable future, but I think I'm also in just a season of my life where I also enjoy that I don't enjoy maybe some of the personal habits.
I let slide I. When I am this busy, that just comes down to just, I think, accessibility of what all is around me. But I, like I am in a season of life where I, I do enjoy being extremely engaged with my clients. And so you're in a season of life where you wanna be. I. The CEO, you wanna be in this visionary space.
I will say when I took that agency course of like, why the hell did I sign up for this? A big thing was like, well, let me implement what I'm learning 'cause I'm spending all this money. Right?
So I started delegating and I started putting all these layers between me and the clients. And I like absolutely hated it.
I was like, why? Like, this is not what works for me. This doesn't make me happy. Right. We also, someone that's saying like that white space is truly the most important space. Strategic and visionary thinking and planning don't just happen. Right, right.
They
don't to have that. Time in your day and like not fill it up and give yourself the grace to work on your business.
So with all of that white space, what new strategies or ideas besides the super cool podcast that you've launched in the past few months, what else is cooking up for
you? Well, there is a third business starting, probably starting before the end of the year. It's coming off of the podcast, because I've been listening to what my guests are saying, and so I'm going to try and fill that gap, to be announced.
It's Secret Pop Secret announced, but it's really playing to my strengths and it's playing to the coaching that I've had. The consultant I worked with on the podcast knew her stuff and she helped me think of how to. Go beyond the podcast and the podcast is separate from my VA agency. And I did that in with complete intention because I didn't, there was one of my, never say nevers, I never wanna do a podcast because I don't wanna copy everybody.
You know? That was my inner thoughts, but, but. Some random person who I now love to death because she did it, reached out to me on LinkedIn. I love your voice. I love your presence. You need to do a podcast. I'm like, there's that imposter syndrome again. But I have loved doing my podcast and so.
This thing that's gonna spawn off of my podcast is getting me very excited. And so that's to come. But yeah, it's, it's just been stepping into those uncomfortable zones. , I've actually gotten on some stages, which is crazy. I was. Such a scaredy cat to speak publicly ever when I was younger. But now that that confidence that everything I've been through in life had just, who cares?
So people think, have you seen that? We do Not Care Club. You probably haven't. There is on TikTok. There's this woman I, I'll have to try to remember her name, the We Do Not Care Club and she's hilarious. And it's about women over 40, 50, 60 plus and we just do not care anymore. Yeah,
it is a common sentiment I see in a lot of messaging and social media with women of that age group anyway.
Mm-hmm. But I think that goes back to the theme earlier of you've left yourself open to opportunities. And first off, I wanna say that I find it so ridiculous that you're like when someone told you about a podcast because you absolutely love talking to people. I think like we met because you came up to me and I like showed up networking event and I.
Like that just feels like such a natural seat for you that I find it funny that you balked at
it at first. It's funny, isn't it?
Yeah. Um, so really this, the strategy that you're like continuing to lean on now and moving forward is really on that being open to opportunities, being open to what makes sense for a new season of life.
Mm-hmm. The ability to do that without caring that other people think is true.
Oh, fun. I have gone on my podcast, you know, and if you guys haven't caught Sam on my podcast yet, you better look for that episode. I please.
Oh my gosh. I, I think I was on a networking call the other day and it was someone that I was following up with after, this in-person conference that I went to earlier in June, and they're like, oh, I, I loved your energy.
Like you just showed up in a way. That felt like people, like you didn't care what people thought. Like you're just authentic. And I was like, I really appreciate that because I've been working on that. And I was , also like, you know, when you spend so many years saying like the worst things about yourself, what else can other people say?
You know? And I don't mean that like in a self pity way. I just mean that like in a, in a natural growth, you know, things that come with DE
is
normal. I
think it's completely normal for people self.
Oh my gosh. I was on some mastermind and I was saying like, this is my problem. And I was like making jokes about myself and I was like talking about my problem and they were like, well, let's just take the time to not do self-deprecation jokes.
And I was like, that's my entire personality. If you take that away from me. I have like, no humor. Like, why would you, I, I will hold onto that. Thank you very much.
Like comedians have found in self-deprecation just saying, you know,
I know like if you have cancel culture and you take away all the things from them and then you tell them to also be healthy people and not have self-deprecating jokes.
What someone about Right
people. Sam, I could tell you that.
Hopefully I'm not like turning people off. I don't know. We'll stop. Okay. So also on that you said something and then you, like very quickly went over it. So in addition to the super top secret business thing, I also heard when you were saying the never the, the never evers that you've said, how you phrase that, you said the word book.
Are you writing a
book? I've already written in two books. Okay. And they're on my LinkedIn profile if anybody pops over there. I wrote another random LinkedIn, so this is the power of LinkedIn people? Yeah. A random LinkedIn person reached out to me. Do you wanna be in a multi author book? I'm like, I've always loved to write.
But again, there's that imposter syndrome, but I'm not an author. What the heck? I can't write. I don't even read. And that's, that's, that's a little self-deprecation. You mean you wrote, if you pick up a book that would be helpful. They're, they're pretty on my shelf, but, you know, so the first book is called Phoenix Rising, and it's a book, it's a collaboration of women all across the world.
The publisher was in Australia, and it's about women who come from adversity to find their place. So. For me, I immediately went to those twenties that I mentioned that decade about earlier and wrote in that book. And then sure enough, after I invested in writing in that book, then she said, oh, I have another book coming out called Corporate Dropouts.
I'm like, oh, dang, that should have been the one that I was in. And so I invested in myself again and wrote a chapter in corporate dropouts because that totally epitomizes what I did. Totally dropped outta corporate.
What was the, because you know, there are some people, like when you're talking about strategies for other people and being a CEO, everyone's always like journal, journal, journal, right?
Yeah. And like the power that comes from that. But I'd also just wanna understand what came out for you, either evolution or power or like new insights of writing these chapters. Yeah,
well, it really pulled out a bug inside me that you do like to write, but you just don't have enough time to do it, which that was a couple, way, few years, few years back.
So what it did was when I wrote in the first book about my personal story and I had to keep it to a certain number of words and characters, I was like, oh, I could go on and on and on. And then like, oh, whatever. Then I wrote the second book about my business life journey, my, you know, career. And I was like, boy, if I just put these two together and each paragraph became a chapter I.
I could write an entire book, like, but then that impo that, but who wants to read about me? Came into my head. So I'm not listening to that. I'm like, shut the hell up, girl. So at some point I feel like I'm gonna combine those two books into my story and hope, maybe even, I don't know, fictionalize it, something funner.
Funner. More fun. Let's do that. You know, that might be something I, I wouldn't say that, I'll never say never on to that. So there could be a book, um, of a combination of both.
You're never allowed again to say that you'll never do something. I never allowed say never. Every time you say it just pops up into your life.
Right? It does. So maybe it's a reverse thing that I I'm never gonna
be a
millionaire. , And I, I would absolutely want to read a story about you because I think, you know, on top of all the self-deprecating jokes on top of like, oh, like these really, shitty moments happened in, in all of those. There is, I think such beautiful light and such beautiful like lessons in grace and who you are day to day and how you show up for people.
And so I would a hundred percent be one of the first people to buy your book. , And I don't buy everybody's book. Like I've bought, I've bought very few books from like people I know. 'cause I'm like, cool, good for you. I'll post and promote it. But I don't know if your story is worth telling in all honesty, but I, I honestly would, would.
Thank you. Well take a look at the chapters in Phoenix Rising and Corporate Dropouts, and then you'll Oh, and then judge it.
Go together. Um, so let's kind of, let's wrap up a little bit. Right. So we lost our sanity with unrealistic expectations. We found the solution with boundaries, with really understanding the value of what you're providing and where you need to sit as a CEO and investing in yourself and all of that.
And the theme, the strategic theme through all of it was being open to opportunities. And so for those that are maybe struggling to see what opportunities are even available to them, like maybe they're waiting for a big ass door and maybe a barn door that you just have to slide and not even like turn the handle on.
Right. For the people that are waiting for that. And maybe we need to just find that little window. Yeah. What, what would you recommend for those people that are struggling there?
Yeah, it's just be brave. Be brave. Like it's no risk, no gain. And, and learn how to accept the word no, which is so hard, but.
It happens, and I'm not gonna lie, it's hard. I've cried over nose, you know, I've had mental breakdowns over nose. But afterwards, you know, and getting past 'em a couple weeks later, I've gotten bolder and braver and be brave. Just watch those people on LinkedIn that you just are like in awe of, and reach out to them and let them know.
Engage with them. Tell them what you like about their stories. You never know who's gonna latch onto yours too. And then you're gonna find a great connection that can lead to business, that can lead to friendship, that can lead to collaboration. So be brave, be brave, be bold. Try, take a little risk.
Yeah, on that, that concept of like, don't be afraid of the no, like what's the worst that can happen? Like reach out to the people on LinkedIn that have 10, 20,000 followers, because sometimes they have a lot of great engagement on their posts, but they actually have pretty slow messages and they will get back to you.
Also their inbox to somebody else who for follow up. And even if they don't get back to you, that's the worst that will happen. They don't get back to you. Right. I'll forget I even reached out. Like someone messages me, I'm like, oh my gosh. Yeah. Like, I love that you popped up in my inbox.
Like I get a little attention, a little self-esteem boost. So you wanna make my day message. Me in the morning, you know,
the publisher of my books and the podcast lady, look what it's done for me. They were both cold outreaches to me.
Oh, I feel like we need a whole other podcast on like Cold, right? Which for anyone who has not already registered for the Get Your Shit Together Summit, which I'm so glad that you're gonna be a part of it.
We have a CEO panel. Of local and national CEOs who are also gonna describe what cold pitches have worked and that they've paid attention to. So I'm super excited for that. That's my little shameless plug at the end of this. Um, okay. Miss Bonnie, my business old sister, my business mama, thank you so much for helping me have such a fun, good first live.
That was just packed of awesome stories and awesome wisdom, and this was just a wonderful way to kind of. I think wrap up my week because it's holiday 4th of July week, so this was amazing. Thank you.
Oh, you're so welcome. Thanks for
π child.
Thanks for joining us on another episode of Strategy Solutions and Sanity. I hope you're walking away with at least one solid strategy, maybe a handful of ideas, and hopefully a little bit more sanity than you started with. If you got something outta this episode, then send it to another owner who could use it or let me know what hit home for you.
And remember, business is messy, people are messier, but it's all figureoutable. I'll catch you next time with more strategy solutions. And of course, a bit more sanity.