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Veteran's Affairs Plus discusses the issues that veterans in Las Vegas deal with on a daily basis. Your host, David L. Washington connects listeners with relevant community resources and information that they need to help veterans or themselves.
Unknown Speaker 0:00
You're listening to locally produced programming created in Hey, you envy studios on public radio K you envy 91.5
Kevin Krall 0:11
You're listening to special programming sponsored by making moves life coaching services, the content of Veterans Affairs plus does not reflect the views or opinions of public radio K, u and v, the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, or the Board of Regents of the Nevada System of Higher Education.
Unknown Speaker 0:42
You can see what's going on? What's going on? What's going on? Good morning, Las Vegas. This is Veterans Affairs plus on 91.5, jazz and more. I'm Dave Washington, your host. I got a couple of guests in studio and Warren will be on the phone. I'll introduce them shortly and let them tell you a little bit about themselves, but certainly want to do a couple of quick announcements. Major League Baseball is coming to town at the tune of hope I don't have the figures wrong, but I'm thinking 380 million of taxpayers dollars. And I just hope we get a better deal. I hope they negotiate a lot better than what they did with the Allegiant stadium where the Raiders play. Nothing against the Raiders. But I think we got a terrible, terrible deal. So I'm hoping that some folks will wake up and not let us get gouged as we have with the other baseball arena, if you will. Juneteenth is there's several different Juneteenth celebrations, but I certainly will be attending the one that Diane and Dr. Paula will be putting together and I think that's over at the World Market Center. And if I'm not mistaken, Marcia told me it was from four to seven, I believe on Saturday night, or Saturday evening. So just wanted to pass that along. That will occur today. So check them out. Condolences. We lost a great man and Jim Brown, a great football player. But not only that, he was an activist within our our community and he stood with Muhammad Ali when he was having his troubles many years back. And then of course when in the arena of music, Miss Tina Turner, and my family march in April Angel Amber they have done the Tina Turner review, as we would call it several times and had a lot of fun with it. But certainly Tina had an impact on music in our country. And then finally, a dear friend and she used to call me her chief and that is Minister Eva Whaley. Her services are today and I apologize, I failed to write down exactly where but you can check the obituaries very briefly about Miss Eva Whaley. She was one of my champions for Las Vegas Fire and Rescue. And she was not a trained chap. And I remember a couple of people coming up to me and saying, Oh, she shouldn't be saying Jesus Christ. I'm like what I say she's you know, train. chaplains are nondenominational when they when they when they talk and speak. But in her case, she would always mention Jesus Christ at the end of her prayer. Now, I would bring in one of the chaplains, we had three in fact, and I wanted an additional one. And in the Jewish Cassie, we'd like to have a rabbi said, okay, so Rabbi HiQ was was I think he's recently passed away, if I remember correctly, but he was one of our chaplains as well. And when we were promoted, I would ask a chaplain to come and, you know, pray for people because this, the fire service, as we know, is a dangerous, dangerous profession. So I thought it was appropriate. And in fact, I remember the first time people saw people are going to have a problem with that Chief. I said, Well, I'll make a statement before we and I always make the statement that you don't have to stay in here. If it offends you. Prayer offends you. You can step outside. No one, Nathan. Ray, no one ever stepped out the room because prayer is important and particularly when you're in a dangerous profession. With that again, Minister evil Whaley services are today check the obituaries for the time and place. Once again this is Veterans Affairs plus on 91.5 Jazz and more Father's Day. I have an I always like to give a disclosure because these are relatives, son in law son and nephew. We have today, Vernon RayRay, Washington, Clifton, Washington and Nathan ArmorGuard. So gentlemen, I'd like for you to start out again i I invited you guys because tomorrow is Father's Day. And I just wanted you to come in and just kind of give some expression in that regard. So I'll start by asking you all, and we'll start with Cliff since he isn't here, Cliff, just give a brief background on yourself if you would. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 5:15
Good morning. As you mentioned on the interview, I'm a native to Las Vegas, meaning born and raised. I am now married with three wonderful children on my own, I had an opportunity to go off to college and Texas a&m Kingsville. And currently work for MGM Resorts as a sourcing manager hasn't had some experience in accounting, and some leasing. So I've kind of done a little bit of everything, but that's where I am today. But I would say fatherhood is definitely a big part of my job as as an adult. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 5:56
Ray Ray.
Unknown Speaker 6:00
Morning, everyone, I am the the only son of David Washington. I was born and raised in Las Vegas. Myself, I've raised seven children, three biological, with my with my wife, now we have a toddler. And let's see, I'm six months into a retirement from the Clark County Department of Juvenile Justice. I was a probation officer for a little bit over 20 years. And the only time I was able to leave Las Vegas, which is the city that I do love was my four years in Mississippi. Just acquiring my my bachelors. Pleasure to be here with my father.
Unknown Speaker 6:42
Okay, great. Nathan, morning,
Unknown Speaker 6:45
everyone. Thank you for having me on your show. As every son in law knows, it's not a good idea to refuse your father in law. And unless happy to be on the show, hopefully you won't get accused of nepotism. I'm originally from Cape Town, South Africa. But I've lived in the United States since 1997. And I've had the privilege of being an adopted son of Las Vegas for almost 16 years now. But most importantly, God has blessed me and you did say it was okay to use God's name. God has blessed me with three wonderful children, your grandchildren, Kasara, Cameron, and a mirror and scripts in said, the biggest privilege in my life is to be able to call myself father to them.
Unknown Speaker 7:39
Excellent. Look, I have a question for you all, and you guys can answer it in your own particular way. But what give me two qualities you think are important in being a father. Let's go ahead, Nathan, let's start with you.
Unknown Speaker 7:52
I'm gonna sort of learn from my own experience with my own father in terms of the qualities that he had, that I found to be very important one is consistency. Knowing that your children can count on what you say they can trust that you're going to do what you say you're going to do, and that you're predictable, and that you don't surprise them. And I think consistency is important. You mentioned Tina Turner. Earlier, she had a sign that says What's Love Got to do with it. But love has everything to do with it. I think it's very important to show your children love. Because if they're not seeing that love in their home, they are going to be looking for that love elsewhere. And sometimes the Ways and Means they look for their loved one always healthy. So I say consistency and love.
Unknown Speaker 8:41
Good point. In fact, before you you guys go, I just want to say that one thing in our home we never really expressed love. And I remember my my older brother Buddy, he said that, you know, we never really talked about love one another. But it's important, and I agree it's a quality that is important to the entire family. Ray.
Unknown Speaker 9:08
I would say that two words. I would like to use her like a vision and patience. I think it does goes without saying that children are going to be different. almost complete opposites, no matter how many, no matter how many you have. And just having that vision, not not necessarily your own vision. But that child's vision. How I want my daughter or my son to grow is completely different and or it may be the same as what you would like you would like to see as as an adult. So I think just just the vision and the patience does go a long way.
Unknown Speaker 9:54
vision isn't patients. In fact the patient, poor your wife needs until I'm very short on patient person, when people want to explain something and give me the condensed version, I don't need all of that rigmarole. But those are those are important qualities. How about you clear?
Unknown Speaker 10:16
You know, I kind of piggyback on what they the, they said as well, right, Nathan, definitely got it, you want to be loving, right, you want to be able to show your kids love because like, again, that Nathan kind of alluded to, you want to go looking for love in the wrong places. But then also being, you know, kind of with tying in to what Ray said is to be a leader to be a leader in your home. Because obviously, your kids, you are the first role models that your kids will look up to. And so I believe if you are person, a great leader and have good character, they will begin to model that as they become become their own their own adults.
Unknown Speaker 10:56
Sure, and, and one of the things that rarely said that I remember, my brother buddy seeing it at our mother's repays that she had us all in our own individual compartments. And I'm like, Wow, that's pretty profound. In other words, you treat them alike, and all that kind of stuff. But there's certain things that each one of them need to grow as people. So very interesting. Now, with all this love, we talked about, I want to know, what do you guys think about it? Do you believe in corporal punishment, tough love, tough love
Unknown Speaker 11:35
corporal in the syllabus, it's a strong word. But night, as I've told my wife, I just refuse to have my my children run the house, that's just not going to happen. And my oldest daughter is 22. And my youngest is 17 months. And I told her my child, you have about one more month, a year and a half, because you understand certain things. So you have a year and a half to get it together. But I it's it is it is touchy remembering, of course that we are adults, you know, they are the most tender beings to us, but I do not see too much of a have a negative reaction or negative feedback from any from from forms of corporal punishment, a little tap here and there. Because I think that for me, personally, I will I would do with the peaceful way. I will the software will do that. Once you make the decision to keep that up. Then here it comes.
Unknown Speaker 12:50
About You can Yeah, yeah, I would agree. I think there's benefits in that. Because, again, you know, everything we learn is, should be learned in house first. Right. So, like, I would hate for my kids to get out there and learn, learn at the, you know, from the public side, but, but anyway, I think they are barrier bound boundaries and barriers in which you put in place and then, you know, teaching our kids that, hey, if you go beyond that, there are consequences. And so therefore you you know, action is taken. So, yeah, I, I believe that I've done that myself. Right was raised that way.
Unknown Speaker 13:35
You know, in regards to the I don't think Riri I bet you can see that I will be five times. And the rest of me that I don't think you guys like that's not
Unknown Speaker 13:48
trust elected. That's the look of selective memory.
Unknown Speaker 13:50
Oh my goodness. Again, I mean, you know, being the only son of David Washington, it was you know, it was tough, but I had three sisters. So I was I did get in trouble a lot. But no, I did not want in any form. He may have a point but I did not want any form of my father touching me. So you know, but I did get in a lot of trouble though. So
Unknown Speaker 14:22
it was more than five years it was more than might be the odd man. I'm a product of corporal punishment, both in educational institutions where it was very common and as well as in the home and I think I turned out fine. In fact, my my dad had a special belt, which was the thick brown belt that he had in the cupboard and if he told you to go and get that belt, you knew it was on but it was always done. It was never done in anger was purely done as a form of discipline. But I do think, you know as people of all ages respond to incentives right in our incentives was to not have Big Mom a black belt at the big brown black belt, touch our behind. But I think kids today have different ways in incentives they respond to so you know, whether that's being the electronic devices, or taking away certain things that they like they could also have the same result. So I think, I don't think I'm opposed to I just think that, you know, there are some other ways that maybe as effective, especially if this generation, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 15:30
and I think when they get to a certain age, you know, that doesn't work. So you know, you can't be because if the older they get, then it's going to come down, you probably start leaning into beating someone. And that's, that's very dangerous for for all parties mentally, as well as having the police arrive at your take away.
Unknown Speaker 15:51
Yeah. So what we say that, you know, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you, I will really believe that it's a truth. My my two oldest, Mike, my oldest and the middle child, maybe one of the two times that I had to do anything like that, it just, I needed a minute afterwards. It was terrible. I did not want to do it. But I told him, I would do it if you did this. And they did that. So I swear, like, like Nathan was saying, and acid like, like, my father's always raised me, you have to you will be a man of your word. If you say you're going to do something, you need to do it.
Unknown Speaker 16:28
Yeah. And I agree with Nathan, also, I mean, sometimes you just have to see what motivates that, that child, right, because I could tell you, the three that I have, I did have one that was they would rather take the weapons in to have something taken away from the gun and over with versus having something that linger, and then missing out.
Unknown Speaker 16:52
What is what is most important as you and your family celebrate, Father's Day, anything in particular, that makes you feel good about a quote unquote, Father's Day and spending time with family.
Unknown Speaker 17:08
For me, it really is a simple acknowledgement. My you don't have two college aged daughters who who have no money. So I don't need anything. It's just an acknowledgement. There's they're there other children that just when they say Happy Father's Day, it just, you know, at first, like, that makes my day, right. So whether if, you know if daddy wants to go to the mountains and the lake and do all that all day, or if I just want to sit around and while we all watch a movie, or we all go for a walk, let's just make that happen. But a simple call for me would be all right. Sounds
Unknown Speaker 17:52
good? Yeah, just being with them. I mean, it's a blessing to be a father, whether your biological father, are you acting in the role of a father to a young man or woman? And I think, you know, we've talked about this many times, David, you know, especially as black fathers, you know, it's the fact that, you know, we're many times the role of the black father gets diminished, discounted. And people, you know, don't give black fathers the credit that they that they deserve. And assume that, you know, we aren't good fathers, and we aren't providers, and keepers of our family. So I think, you know, especially for black fathers on Father's Day, and the black family, thing, it's important for us to celebrate that and celebrate the family unit that we have, and and what we're doing to make sure that you know, we're providing stability within the black family and for generations to come. Excellent.
Unknown Speaker 18:55
Clear. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 18:56
I wouldn't, I would agree with with Ray and Nathan as well. I think spending time is the most valuable thing you can do, and celebration of Father's Day. Because again, you know, no moment is ever promised. And so every moment you want to be able to cherish, but to be able to say, you know, hey, I know that for every Father's Day, I spent time like we did this, right? And so for us, at least for me and my family, it's not a matter of you know, I know for mother's day they go out to dinner or they do something special but but for me, you know, keeping them low key spending time you know, watching movies, taking a walk, whatever that may be, but I think the time spent together is more valuable than anything you can plan out, you know, weeks in advance. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 19:41
like if they want to give me something. I prefer a Southwest gift card. I don't need no clothes. You know some people love clothes. I'm just a pretty plain guy. I got jogging suits in the closet still got tags on I got some jackets that warship, while we still got tags on, almost gave away to this thing. At the time Commissioner Wheatley was doing it for some young be like,
Unknown Speaker 20:11
don't do it, go do it. I did give him some of the older sense. But
Unknown Speaker 20:18
in terms of, of just fatherhood, and I want to get each of your opinion. Do you think mandatory parenting would be good for fathers in particular, we can talk about mothers as well. But I'm talking this is about fathers. Do you think that that will do any good for folks? Mandatory parity?
Unknown Speaker 20:43
I I do like the idea myself. I do like the idea. Because I've worked in the probation department, I've seen the, the negative effects of absent or just not willing to do a father's? And it is it is damaging. I don't know how, you know, that being mandatory, whether it be like okay with the hoplite Minister, the Minister that with the state, who would do that, but the fruits of your labor, they they do show, and I think that there are a handful of things, I think that you know, all of us, if you if you're a father, you're always going to be a father, whether you're a good or a bad father, that is up to you. So I think some basic skills, some people actually do not have that. Right.
Unknown Speaker 21:40
Okay. Nathan? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 21:42
I think areas where there's probably some basic things that people would need to learn, especially if you becoming a father at a young age, perhaps. But I think the more powerful model, though, is just what you see, right? So the people around you, the role models are the fathers that you see your own father. So I think, to me, that's more powerful when we model the great qualities of fatherhood to others, and so that they can see it, right. People always say, you can be what you can see, right? So you know, I mean, I look at you, and there's many things that I've come to learn about fatherhood, just from, you know, watching you and how you interact and care for not just your family, your kids, but your grandkids, etc. And then I look at the life of my own father and how He raised us. So I do think that, you know, that model of what you see, and I think is almost a responsibility for all of us is we have to model that behavior to others, especially younger fathers, so they can see an example we're not perfect, but they can see an example of what you know, being a good father looks like. Cliff.
Unknown Speaker 22:56
Yeah, yeah. So I'm coming from a different perspective slightly, just because I wasn't raised with my father. But I would agree that you would want to pick up on traits that you see from within your community of circle, right. So obviously, from me looking, you know, seeing you and seeing Uncle Dave, you, you and family that that was helpful for me to establish that baseline, if you will, because, again, being a kid without a dad, you always, at least for me, right? I can only speak for me, but I would say I would always want to be the dad that I've ever had. So, sometimes, what does that look like, that's gonna look like that's gonna look different for everyone. But I believe, you know, again, there should be something presented in terms of some sort of basic, as we've been calling basic understanding of what or expect, you know, like the moms, they have the books, you know, what to expect when expected. So if there was some, there was some sort of guide to that or like that for, you know, what to prepare for, you know, as you become a father, whether or not your younger kids having kids or if you're a little older in life, where it's like taking a little time to become a father, but either way, there should be some basics in which like, these are the must haves. Cover that ground. But again, I think, you know, it's going to be different for each child, right? Kind of like what you alluded to earlier where we're grandmother kind of checked each case compartmentalize there's no cookie cutter approach. But there are some basics that all you know all of you had that had to be met from a from a response of a parent and
Unknown Speaker 24:48
clear perfect segue into my next question, which is you guys got both got girls and boys, are they parented differently? Nathan, you got this smile on your face?
Unknown Speaker 25:03
I think so I think they, they have different needs. And what I found is that, you know, they, they have in my family, listen, I know of Cliff and Ray Ray and yourself, you know, think differently because you also have girls, but I feel like the girls mature, faster. And so I think that there's that difference, but I feel like, you know, fathers, you know, can become a model for, you know, the maids that their daughters may choose later on in life. And I think it's important that again, going back to showing them the love and the protection that they get from the Father, I think that's very, very important to make sure that they don't fall for, as my dad say, fall for anytime they can have, like, just with, with some game, as they say, and a nice smile. You know, what are you bringing to the table, because my dad took care of this, and my dad provided that and so you're not showing me anything that I haven't already experienced, I'm not going to be over awed by you. Promising to take me on a trip somewhere, right? When they're done that, right. So thank you, for girls, you know, you want to make sure that they because a lot of folks that try to you know, play games out there. And then I think for the boys, you want to teach them the value of being a man, being someone who can protect his family, being someone that can provide and getting being someone that can lead. Right. And so I do think there's, there's a difference.
Unknown Speaker 26:40
Really, I actually honestly, also agree, I will say that in terms of the males and females, just to kind of put in perspective on the way that I was raised, and what my mentality is right now, with my, you know, with all my girls that I have in my house, is that when I was younger, I wouldn't be outside, you know, my father would wake me up at seven Saturday mornings. And I would have to go outside and pull weeds or, or cut the wood, while my sisters were in the house, watching Soul Train or cartoons or anything. And so and I think that
Unknown Speaker 27:17
there was more because your mom because I was.
Unknown Speaker 27:23
So I think that I think society's expectations also on men and women could be different. And I know that Nathan mentioned that word leadership. And you know that that's important. In all of us. Remember, once there was a time where my oldest daughter says something like, I want to marry man with money or something like that. And, you know, we had to sit down and had a conversation. I said, No, no, no, you be the one with the money. Also, you don't go get a man with money, right? So
Unknown Speaker 27:57
old school thought go go to school and get your college and come back with you or me clarify anything?
Unknown Speaker 28:05
Yeah, I would, I would say about the same, you know, there's slight differences. But again, you know, you still want to raise responsible adults and, and, you know, good citizens of society. But you know, I guess I would say you'd have to ask them whether or not there's a difference in being treated, and I'm pretty sure they probably will say yes, but, you know, to us, we try to do our best to kind of keep it all level ground. But, you know, there are some societal things that, you know, by better make their way into our families.
Unknown Speaker 28:46
All right. Well, one thing I was hoping to have enough time to give you guys an opportunity for closing remarks, but time has run out. So I want to thank you all and once again, for certainly personal disclosure, these are and you got to do it here in the studio. What's going on? Yes, the one in the middle when she goes to a buoy in Maryland. This is mkhaya All right, and I am okay. All right. This is Veterans Affairs plus on 91.5 Jazz and more. Next Saturday, we will have Tony Marshal will give us an update. He's our service officer. Thanks, Wes for keeping me on track my friend Veterans Affairs plus on 91.5 Jazz
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