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Happening in Upland is your weekly rundown of what’s going on around town—local news, community events, public safety updates, new restaurants, development, weather, schools, and the stuff Upland residents actually talk about.
Delivered with humor, honesty, and a very local point of view, this isn’t stiff broadcast news. It’s real, relevant information with personality. If you live in Upland or anywhere nearby in the Inland Empire, this is your weekly shortcut to staying in the loop.
MARK: Welcome to 'Happening in Upland', the only podcast in San Bernardino County that acknowledges we're all just living in a suburban simulation. It's Tuesday, April 28, 2026, and I'm your host Mark, joined as always by Joleen, who's surprisingly awake for someone who lives exclusively on spite and espresso.
JOLEEN: I'm mostly espresso today, Mark, because I spent my morning looking at the city's event calendar and realized we've reached a new level of desperation. If you're lonely and have literally zero standards, you can head over to Back To The Grind tonight for 'LGBTQ+ Speed Dating'. It starts at 6:00 PM, and I'm sure the air will be thick with the smell of fair-trade beans and repressed trauma.
MARK: Nothing makes a Tuesday night pop like trying to find the love of your life in the time it takes to brew a pour-over. I can't imagine anything more stressful than having five minutes to explain why your last three exes were total assholes while some guy in the corner is aggressively steaming oat milk. It's the kind of peak Upland efficiency I've come to expect.
JOLEEN: It's better than the alternatives, which usually involve swiping right on someone whose profile picture is a blurry selfie with a dead fish. At least at the coffee shop, you can verify they're a real human being before you figure out they're a complete dickhead. But hey, if you're going, use the email upland@thehappeningnetwork.com to tell us how many people you rejected because they didn't know where the colonies are.
MARK: We'd love to hear it, really. Anyway, let's talk about the people who actually run this shit-show. The City Council met yesterday, April 27, and it was exactly as exciting as watching paint dry on a pothole. They're prepping for a Special Finance Committee Meeting tomorrow, April 29, at 4:00 PM. I'm sure it'll be a riveting discussion on how to spend money we don't have on things we don't need.
JOLEEN: Oh, I love the Finance Committee. It's basically a group of adults sitting in a room trying to figure out if they can afford to keep the streetlights on or if we should just start selling naming rights to the city's trash cans. 'This dumpster is brought to you by Starbucks'. It's cynical, sure, but at least it's honest. If you're the kind of person who enjoys bureaucratic masochism, that meeting is at 4:00 PM sharp.
MARK: I'll be there in spirit, which is to say I'll be at home drinking something stiff and yelling at my TV. Speaking of things that make me want to drink, let's look at the crime numbers. The latest stats show Upland's total crime is about 2.1% higher than the national average. You've got a 1 in 47 chance of being a victim of something here. It's like a really shitty lottery that nobody wants to win.
JOLEEN: Those odds are fantastic if you're an optimist. I prefer to think of it as a 46 in 47 chance of keeping your car tires. We've seen a lot of 'other' incidents on the 210 freeway near Campus Avenue lately, which is basically code for 'someone did something stupid while driving a Honda Civic'. It's the local pastime, really. Forget baseball, our real sport is avoiding high-speed chases.
MARK: You're not wrong, but let's actually talk about sports. The Upland High Highlanders are out there actually doing something productive. The varsity baseball team started a massive three-game series against Los Osos yesterday. They played at home on the 27th, and they're heading over to Los Osos tomorrow, April 29. If you haven't seen them yet, you're missing out on some quality teenager angst and legitimate talent.
JOLEEN: And don't forget the softball team. Those girls are absolute beasts. They're playing at Rancho Cucamonga today at 3:15 PM. They've been on a tear, and honestly, watching them dominate is the only thing keeping my local pride alive. It's nice to see someone from Upland winning something that isn't a 'most likely to be audited' award.
MARK: They're making the rest of us look like lazy assholes, Joleen. While they're out there sprinting in the sun, I'm struggling to walk from my car to the front door without losing a breath. But if you want to support them, get down to the field. These kids are the only reason Upland still gets invited to the cool kids' table in the Baseline League.
JOLEEN: True. Now, let's talk about food, because that's what we're actually good at. There's a new L&L Hawaiian Barbecue on Foothill Boulevard, and I finally caved. I went in thinking it would be just another chain, but the mac salad? It's like a hug from someone who actually likes you. It's the only thing in this city that doesn't feel like a scam.
MARK: I'm a sucker for the Spam Musubi, even though I know it's basically salty mystery meat wrapped in seaweed. It's delicious. It's the perfect meal for when you've given up on your beach body and just want to feel something. The location at 1550 West Foothill is actually convenient, assuming you can navigate the absolute shit-show that is the construction outside.
JOLEEN: Oh, god, the construction. Can we talk about that? The 13.2 million dollar Foothill Boulevard rehabilitation project. It started in October and isn't scheduled to finish until August. Every time I drive through there, I feel like I'm auditioning for a role in a post-apocalyptic movie. Just rows of orange cones and men holding signs that say 'Stop' as if my life hasn't already ground to a halt.
MARK: It's a metaphor for the city, Joleen. We're constantly 'rehabilitating' but never actually 'rehabilitated'. They're doing asphalt grinding and putting in new traffic signals, which is great, but I'd settled for just one day where I didn't have to swerve to avoid a ditch. They say it'll improve 'water service delivery' too, so maybe one day my shower won't smell like a swimming pool.
JOLEEN: A girl can dream. But while you're dodging cones on Foothill, you might notice all the 'For Sale' signs. Upland's real estate market is currently a joke that only rich people find funny. The median listing price is sitting at 827,500 dollars. I'm sorry, what? For a house built in 1952 with original plumbing and a yard that's 90% dirt? That's fucking insane.
MARK: It's the 'North Upland' effect, I guess. If you can see the mountains, you owe the bank an extra two hundred grand. Inventory is low--only about 173 homes for sale--which means sellers are basically acting like they're selling the Hope Diamond. If you're a first-time buyer in 2026, your best bet is probably finding a nice, sturdy cardboard box and a friendly alleyway.
JOLEEN: Or just wait for the 'market pace' to slow down more. Days on market are up 26%, so maybe these delusional sellers will eventually realize that nobody wants to pay nearly a million bucks for a ranch-style house that still has shag carpet in the bathroom. It's a seller's market, sure, but even they have to face reality eventually. Or they'll just keep waiting for a tech bro to get lost and accidentally buy a house here.
MARK: Until then, we're all just renters in a world we can't afford. But hey, if you're looking for something to do this weekend that doesn't cost a down payment, we've got the guide for you. Friday, May 1, there's a 'First Friday Rodeo Party' at the Epic Events Center. It starts at 9:00 PM and costs about 12 bucks. I'm assuming it involves a lot of people in hats they bought at Target pretending they know how to ride a horse.
JOLEEN: I'm going just to see how many people fall off the mechanical bull. It's the highlight of my month. And then on Saturday, May 2, it's 'May Day in the Park' at Red Hill Park. The Pomona Valley Alumnae Chapter is putting it on. It's free, it's outside, and it's a great way to pretend you're part of a community before you go back to hiding in your house from the crime rates.
MARK: Red Hill Park is actually nice this time of year, provided you don't get hit by a stray disc golf frisbee. And of course, the Farmers Market is still happening every Saturday downtown from 9:00 AM to 2:00 PM. It's the one place where I can buy a five-dollar loaf of bread and feel like a sophisticated member of the bourgeoisie.
JOLEEN: It's artisanal bread, Mark. That extra four dollars is for the 'soul' of the baker. Anyway, let's talk weather, because it's actually looking like we're finally escaping the weird cold snaps. Today, the 28th, we're looking at a high of 75 and a low of 52. Mostly sunny, pleasant, and not completely miserable.
MARK: Tomorrow gets a bit cooler, around 70 degrees with some sunshine, and Thursday stays in the low 70s. But the weekend is where it's at. Friday and Saturday are both hitting 77. It's that perfect Inland Empire window where you don't need the AC, but you also don't need a parka. Enjoy it before June hits and we all start melting into the pavement.
JOLEEN: I'll be soaking it up. It's the best time to be in Upland. Seriously, despite all the bitching we do, this city has its moments. Where else can you get world-class mac salad, watch a high-speed chase, and attend a rodeo party all in the same 48-hour window? It's a special kind of chaos.
MARK: It's our chaos, though. So, if you like hearing us talk about it, make sure you like, subscribe, and leave a comment. Tell us what you think about the housing prices or the speed dating. Are you going? Did you find a soulmate? Did you get a restraining order? We want to know it all.
JOLEEN: Exactly. Reach out to us at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com. We actually read those emails, mostly because it makes us feel like we're not just screaming into a void. And if you have a local business you want us to mention--or roast--send it over. We're not picky.
MARK: That's a lie, we're incredibly picky, but we'll take your money if you want to sponsor us. Until next time, stay safe out there. Watch out for those orange cones on Foothill and try not to get into a fight with a Finance Committee member. They're fragile.
JOLEEN: And stay hydrated. Espresso doesn't count as water, apparently. Bye, Upland.