Rest Is Not Reset: How to Recover Like a Leader and Protect Your Capacity

You took the vacation. So why do you feel like you need another one?

In this episode of the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast, host Ralph Owens and co-host Terry Baylor continue their conversation with Amethyst Roberson — executive coach and emotional intelligence strategist. This is Part 4 of 5 of their conversation with Amethyst.

Amethyst breaks down the difference between rest and reset — two things most leaders treat as the same thing and pay a real price for. She introduces the bear hibernation framework, the body keeps score concept, and a practical five-senses grounding practice you can use at your desk today. Ralph shares a candid moment about craving stillness without knowing how to create it — and how intentional recovery is the missing piece in most high performers' daily routine.

What you will learn in this episode:
- Why sleep and reset are two completely different biological processes
- The bear hibernation framework and what it means for how you recover
- How your body keeps score of every unmanaged stress response
- A five-senses grounding practice you can do in 10 minutes at work
- Why protecting your reset time is what increases your capacity — not reduces it

This episode is for you if:
- You come back from vacation and still feel depleted
- You grind from morning to bedtime and wonder why your performance is plateauing
- You lead a team and want to model sustainable high performance
- You are a high achiever who has never been taught how to intentionally recover

👤 View Amethyst Roberson's guest profile

🧾 Chapters

• (00:05) - Introduction to Leadership Sovereignty
• (01:01) - Rest vs. Reset
• (05:18) - The Importance of Intentionality
• (07:14) - Your Body Keeps Score
• (10:55) - Enhancing Your Capacity

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📄 Full Episode Transcript

Creators and Guests

Guest

Amethyst Roberson

As a Licensed Professional Therapist, National Certified Counselor, and a seasoned educator in mental health and personal growth, she helps individuals and organizations navigate emotional wellness challenges. Her approach empowers clients to master their mental health, clarify their goals, and create actionable strategies for sustainable growth.

What is Leadership Sovereignty Podcast: Career Growth and Promotion?

The Leadership Sovereignty Podcast helps high-performing professionals use leadership as a career growth strategy — not just a skill.

Leadership isn’t just a skill — it’s a career strategy for professionals seeking growth, influence, and promotion.

Hosted by Ralph Owens, Chief Information Officer, and Terry Baylor, CEO of a healthcare technology startup, the podcast delivers practical, real-world leadership strategies you can apply immediately. Each episode focuses on increasing visibility, navigating corporate dynamics, preparing for promotion, and leading beyond your title.

Expect short, high-impact conversations designed to help you think, act, and position yourself like a senior leader before you’re given the title.

You’re not just an employee. You’re the CEO of your career.

New episodes are released weekly.

Terry Baylor (00:00)
Why after we supposedly have taken a rest, we're like, man, I need another vacation.

Ralph Owens (00:06)
We just grind all day long until we go to sleep. And that can't be healthy

Amethyst Roberson (00:06)
Yeah.

the difference between rest, rest is actually sleep, it's going through a physical process that we need to get up every day to be rejuvenated versus this hibernation, this reset.

is we

Ralph Owens (01:01)
All right, I tell you, you take us to the next topic?

Terry Baylor (01:04)
Yeah, so I really liked this topic, right? Let's just dig right into it. The difference between rest and reset, right? Why after we supposedly have taken a rest, we're like, man, I need another vacation.

Ralph Owens (01:19)
You

Amethyst Roberson (01:21)
vacation from the vacation.

Ralph Owens (01:23)
Yeah, man.

Terry Baylor (01:23)
Exactly.

that's, that's cause I don't, I mean, this is a new concept for me. rest versus reset, because a lot of times we believe when we take that vacation, we've reset, but, but, but, but, but what's really going on here.

Amethyst Roberson (01:33)
my god.

Ralph Owens (01:34)
Mm-hmm.

You

Amethyst Roberson (01:37)
That's

good. I'm laughing because that just happened. ⁓ Probably 10 day vacation came back, time to get busy again. So, ⁓ I mean, there's definitely a difference, you know, clinically and, you know, physically and rest is sleep and giving our bodies time to really go through the cycle and the process. I'm not like a sleep expert, but we have to go through the process of sleep, getting into REM sleep.

Ralph Owens (01:40)
You

you

Amethyst Roberson (02:06)
and getting to the point where we are fully rested, disconnecting from all the AI world, all the technology, setting the space up, the room up so that you are at optimal rest, your sleep versus reset. And I talked about this a little bit when we talked before.

Ralph Owens (02:25)
Mm. Mm.

Amethyst Roberson (02:35)
in terms of like the bear effect, the hibernation effect where hibernation for, there's a few animals, probably about four or five animals that hibernate and we're familiar with the bear, right? And so the bear is actually not asleep. The bear is in a such a calm state that because, and here's the reason it's sleep. It's sleep because during that season, what that bear needs to eat,

Ralph Owens (02:50)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Amethyst Roberson (03:05)
the

snow is on the ground, it can't get to what it needs for nourishment, right? So it has to bring its body to a certain state so that it's not craving those things. It's not going after those things. And so to me, the difference between rest, rest is actually sleep, it's going through a physical process that we need to get up every day to be rejuvenated versus this hibernation, this reset.

Ralph Owens (03:11)
Mm.

Hmm.

Amethyst Roberson (03:34)
is we bring our pulse down, we do meditation. There's so many different things that you can do to bring yourself into a calm state so that your body, your mind, your spirit is not craving. Church, we talk about that in that fasting state where our body's not craving certain things so that we have kind of an open ear.

Ralph Owens (03:40)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Amethyst Roberson (04:03)
that we didn't have before then. It's not that bit, so don't go near that bear, that bear not asleep.

Ralph Owens (04:03)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Terry Baylor (04:10)
You

Amethyst Roberson (04:11)
Right?

Ralph Owens (04:12)
Right, right.

Amethyst Roberson (04:13)
Don't come at me with an attitude or, you know, in real life, don't deal with me because you see me in this restorative reset state because I'm not asleep. I'm just in a place where I'm recovering. That has to be for us, okay, a bear does it, but for humans, we have to be intentional about it. So that's why, and vacations can work.

Ralph Owens (04:19)
Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Amethyst Roberson (04:41)
but it has to be a set intentional experience of bringing your, the physiological part of you all the way down through meditation, through breathing, the spa, whatever it is to bring that down. If your jaw's clenching, your shoulders still stroked and hurting, you breathe in fact, if you feel fragmented, you're not in that state of reset. So,

Ralph Owens (05:02)
Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Mm. Wow.

Amethyst Roberson (05:10)
That's

kind of how I usually address those two things in the leadership role. It's bringing your team to that space. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Terry Baylor (05:15)
this.

Ralph Owens (05:20)
man, that...

Terry Baylor (05:22)
That is, that makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot

Ralph Owens (05:24)
Wow.

Terry Baylor (05:25)
of sense, right? Because most of us, when we go on vacation, we started another job. It's another job.

Amethyst Roberson (05:30)
We everywhere.

Ralph Owens (05:30)
Basically.

Yeah, basically. Yeah, I mean, that's so that is so powerful.

Amethyst Roberson (05:34)
And yeah, I'm bad with it.

I take my computer and everything. So I got to get better at that. Yeah. Yeah.

Ralph Owens (05:39)
Yeah, yeah, that's so powerful though.

I'm trying to think in my own, well, I guess as I've gotten older, I've craved it. I didn't know how to label it. Like I'll tell my wife all the time, I'm like, man, I don't wanna go on no more cruises. It's just too busy, right? I just wanna go to a resort somewhere where I could just sit there and just look at the sky, right? And I think I was just craving that ability to disconnect from everything, get calm, you know, but.

Amethyst Roberson (05:48)
Yeah. Yeah.

Mmm. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Ralph Owens (06:09)
But now I'm thinking to myself, but how am I doing that daily? where am I intentionally planning and making room for this process? Because we don't. We just grind all day long until we go to sleep. And that can't be healthy for you, not only emotionally, but physically.

Amethyst Roberson (06:13)
Mmm.

Yeah. Yeah.

Terry Baylor (06:21)
Yes.

Yes.

Amethyst Roberson (06:28)
No.

Ralph Owens (06:31)
Wow, that's really thought-provoking. I appreciate that. Yeah, it's making me rethink some things as to how I plan out my day. Because you talked about frameworks like yoga or breathing or those types of things. Everything you said requires intentional planning. Right?

Amethyst Roberson (06:32)
Yeah.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Putting it on the

screen.

Ralph Owens (06:50)
You gotta get it on, it's gotta be just as important as everything else that you have to do, which goes back to your capacity, right? It goes back to your capacity and setting boundaries to be able to say, you know what, I'm gonna set a boundary here so that I can have this time for me to reset so that my capacity is greater so that I can be the best that I can be for you. Man, that's heavy. Yes.

Amethyst Roberson (06:55)
little bit.

Terry Baylor (07:11)
Yes, yes, yes. Yeah,

Amethyst Roberson (07:11)
That's it, need a reset.

Terry Baylor (07:14)
Raft, that was a great summary on that too. And so also, Amethyst, can you hit a little bit on, and you said this before, you said your body is keeping score. I think this is a great segue to that, right? Because, you know, and that resonates with me, right? Because I'm a sports guy. I love sports. I mean, I love sports. And I'm gonna say this too, right? So,

Amethyst Roberson (07:32)
⁓ my god.

Yeah, yeah.

Terry Baylor (07:39)
Edmethys and I, we went to high schools that were like rivals. So I'm gonna get it out there. I went to McClure.

Ralph Owens (07:43)
You

Amethyst Roberson (07:44)
What high school did you go to?

yes, right. ⁓ yeah. Yeah.

Terry Baylor (07:50)
So I want to wait till the end of the show guys. want to, I want, I want to, I want to, I want to vibe and the energy in the right space. So if it turns right now, you know why. I remember one time, man, they ran us off the parking lot, Ralph. They ran us off the parking lot, man. We had to get, we had to leave.

Ralph Owens (07:53)
You ⁓

Amethyst Roberson (08:01)
need a drink of water.

That was Friday right in there.

Ralph Owens (08:10)
You're right. Oh, man.

Amethyst Roberson (08:12)
I did more than really. Unfortunately. But good,

good one, good one. You know, there's a couple, like, so you all mentioned the, you know, body keep score, but also one thing that you can do in a natural way, whether at work, at home, you're not on vacation, is be mindful.

Notice your senses, the taste, touch, what you're watching. And I always say, if you could just take five to 10 minutes in your work day, notice something from each sense, maybe three things from each sense, what can you touch? Because a lot of times we're just on the keyboard and that's associated with work, right? Bring you a little fuzzy ball.

I have an amethyst rock over there and I may just touch that rock. Why? Because it's bringing me back to me, right? I'm centered in work, but I need to focus on me right now. I need to touch this rock and to ground my, what's called grounding, right? ⁓ I may get up, go outside. Like when was the last time you put your feet in the grass, right? Been a long time.

Ralph Owens (09:08)
Hmm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm-mm.

Amethyst Roberson (09:26)
But as kids, we did that all the time. Why? Because we were grounded. Again, we didn't have the language for it then, but the language for putting your feet on the ground and in the grass right now is grounding. It's bringing you back to you. It's like touching something with your senses. And so what can I taste? Not just eating your food, but taking time to enjoy your lunch. Going at a pace where your digestive system is doing what it's supposed to.

Ralph Owens (09:33)
Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Hmm.

Amethyst Roberson (09:55)
So that is

actually taking our lunches. I was horrible at that. I keep lotion at my desk. It's not just lotion, but I'll take scented lotion. Why? Because I can touch that. I can put that lotion on, the smell of it. So now I'm in what I'm smelling. So again, think of your five senses. Think of three to five things that you can do to heighten all of those senses at least one or two sessions per day.

Ralph Owens (09:59)
Right.

Mm. that's good.

Mm.

Amethyst Roberson (10:24)
You can break it up. Why do we do that? To bring ourselves back to that place of calm, that place that we talked about that is bringing you in touch with your capacity at that moment. It's enhancing your capacity. So when you think about your body, keep score, the score is going to go through the roof when you are focusing on you. Your mind is never separated from your body. So

Ralph Owens (10:32)
Mm.

Mm.

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Amethyst Roberson (10:51)
When you get in that constant state of performance and work, your body's taking score of that. It understands that you needed to do that, but it also understands that you need to be brought back to that state of calm so that you can be prepared for the next day. So we're not just getting rid of performance because it's needed, but we're adding a component through our discussion today, we're adding a component to it that's gonna actually help us perform even better.

Ralph Owens (10:58)
Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Amethyst Roberson (11:21)
that's gonna

actually help the team understand each other better. It's gonna increase the capacity. We're gonna get to know our condition. And so that's what I mean by the body keeps score. And that's not my framework, but that's an understanding, ⁓ a term that's a phrase that's out there now, but that's how I apply it in my everyday life.

Ralph Owens (11:40)
Mm.