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The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!
[upbeat jazz music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm Victor.
I'm Peaches, and I've been stupidly watching videos of Mark Wahlberg working out with celebrities at 4:00 AM.
[laughs] What?
I was thinking, like, could I survive this?
[laughs]
Would I wake up at 3:00 in the morning to go take a cold plunge with Mark Wahlberg-
Ugh
... and then go lift in his gym? And then if you fail a certain amount of the machines, he puts you on the wall spelled W-A-H-L of shame.
Of shame. Really?
Yeah, but if you pass, you get put in the wall of fame.
Now, are there actual benefits to a cold plunge, or is that just some stupid trend?
You wanna jump in the, uh, Snake River and find out?
No, 'cause the Snake River will [laughs] also suck you down to the bottom and kill you dead.
[laughs]
Let's see. According to Google AI Overview, which is always correct, uh, cold plunges offer a quick, potent jolt to your system that can enhance workout recovery, boost your mood, and reduce stress. [laughs] Sounds like it would not be something that would boost my mood, Peaches. Have you ever been really cold?
Oh, yeah.
[laughs] Or like-
There was that one time I was, um, volunteered by somebody else to be the one in the dunk tank at-
Oh, yeah
... at, at a local event. And-
That's right
... of course, what happens? I get dunked a few times. My feet hit the ground hard-
[laughs] Oh
... because the, the, the tank is not that big.
[laughs] Yeah.
And then-
You're too big for the dunk tank [laughs]
... the water was, uh, ice cold.
[laughs] Oh.
But then as soon-
[laughs]
... as, like, this 18-year-old tan girl gets to be the one that gets dunked in, all the boys just line up. [laughs]
[laughs] Of course. [laughs]
I'm like, well, at least I'm not ... Like, at least there wasn't that many people for me.
All right. Well, I guess lesson learned for the next time someone at the company gets, uh, suggested as the dunk tank person.
I already did it. It's not my turn.
Yep. Sorry. It's gonna be one of the ladies in Milton. [laughs]
Yeah. [laughs]
As we go down the line.
Maddy, we're looking at you.
[laughs]
Make Katie do it.
[laughs] Katie?
Yeah.
Uh, let's see. What about, uh, poor, poor Kennedy or Melissa?
[laughs]
Someone really just, just nice. [laughs]
Or Savannah. She's here part-time.
Savannah. [laughs] Yeah. You're going in the dunk tank.
[laughs] Make, make Andrea do it?
Oh, geez.
[laughs]
[laughs] Yeah, I don't think I've ever been in a dunk tank, like, as the person getting dunked.
It is weird.
It seems like it would be weird, and it seems like I wouldn't like it.
No, as soon as-
[laughs] 'Cause you'd be like, "Ah."
That thing goes out from under you and you just fall. [laughs]
[laughs] Yeah, I know. Talk about g- getting a jolt to the system, yeah.
Yeah. [laughs] No kidding.
[laughs] Yeah. Why doesn't Joe Rogan, instead of just doing this boring cold plunge, why doesn't he, you know, fill up a dunk tank-
[laughs]
... with ice water and make it a game?
And make it a podcast between the two. They throw balls at each other.
[laughs] Yeah.
To see who can get dunked first.
Exactly. [laughs]
In the middle of them talking about aliens or whatever random crap. You know, COVID-19 for the thousandth time.
Yeah.
They just get dunked in a dunk tank.
'Cause I see those cold plunge videos pop up from all, all kinds of people all the time online, and I ain't ever seen one of them do it in a dunk tank. Come on. [laughs] Let's make this more fun. Just getting in a cold bath is boring. [laughs] Come, come on, guys.
Well, like, what is the, what are the benefits of going into, like, a steam room or a sauna even? 'Cause-
Well, let's see. But-
I know they're, they're huge over in Finland. When I talked to Eka from Apocalyptica, he was talking about how saunas are just a massive, massive thing over there.
Okay. Now, saunas, according to the always correct Google AI Overview, says that they mimic moderate aerobic exercise by elevating your heart rate and core temperature, and consistent 15 to 20-minute sessions effectively reduce cardiovascular disease and stroke risk, lower blood pressure, relieve chronic pain, and induce deep relaxation.
There are a lot of guys-
That sounds a lot better than a cold plunge
... there are a lot of dudes that will, like, jump into, like, freezing lakes, and then ... Like, they do it in, they, they, they do this in Iceland. They'll jump into the freezing lake and then run to the sauna, sit in there for a few minutes, then run back, jump into the freezing lake, run back to the sauna. [laughs]
So it's kinda like, yeah, if we get in the ... We, we do this during winter when we have snow. You know, I usually end up with a big pile on part of my deck, 'cause I, I don't wanna do the whole thing, 'cause I'm lazy. [laughs] So, you know, you, you get in the hot tub, and then you jump in the snow, and then you jump back in the hot tub. Jade just showed up to bring us a bunch of, bunch of crap.
I got the-
We just cleaned this studio.
I got the peaches new outfit.
Okay, let's see. Oh, that'll fit.
Oh, yeah.
Here.
Okay.
Come on. Sure, yeah, yeah.
What does it say on it?
A little pink Yellowstone something hoodie.
Okay. W- why was that in-
In, in the van?
... in, in the van?
Why wouldn't there be a little tiny pink sweater in a van?
We don't have that kind of van. It's, it's a g- it's a radio van.
Well, Peaches has been driving it.
Peaches. [laughs]
[laughs] Peaches needs a pal. [laughs]
[laughs] Okay, we're ending this break.
[laughs]
[upbeat jazz music] It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. What's happening, Peaches?
Should I be cryptic, like, uh, all those bands out there, and archive every post to my Instagram, every post to my Facebook, change the profile picture to maybe, like, a dark color, or maybe I just put the tired emoji?
The tired emoji.
To put that I'm, I'm under construction.
[laughs]
And then when I do the big weight loss, all of a sudden I reveal, like, uh, "Look at me now."
Oh, I mean, you could. Uh, uh, did you do a before and after thing? Did you have, like, take a picture?
Dude, I, I could see a ... But I could ... I have a whole bunch of pictures of me and my fat butt. [laughs]
[laughs]
They are ... Me and how fat I am. That picture, I, I stare at it from time to time because I'm like, "Am I really, like, working on myself here?" I'm like, "Do I really need to?" And then I look at that picture of me, you, Doug Stanhope, and Andy Andris.
Oh, yeah.
And I look like the Goodyear Blimp n- next to people. [laughs]
I, I don't really like seeing pictures of myself in this day and age either, especially if they're from, like, the side. [laughs]Well, pictures are a lot different than looking [laughs] in a mirror.
There was a, a karaoke night not that long ago where you were, you were there. And I think Becca was singing-
Um-
And somebody was recording the, the whole thing. And you walked up to Becca with this weird look on your face. And I don't know if you're in- if you're intentionally doing it or what, but you were sticking your gut out, dude. It looked like the Spruce Goose Dome.
Oh.
It was just-
I, I know-
Big-
... what video you're talking about.
[laughs]
And I was so mad that somebody posted that-
[laughs]
... 'cause I looked so terrible.
[laughs]
So just fat and awful.
You're like, "Come here, Becca."
[laughs] Like, "This looks-"
"I wanna sing karaoke with you."
[laughs] It's a horrible video.
See, this is why I would never be able to approach a woman at the bar. 'Cause if you, if you look creepy doing it-
[laughs]
... imagine me, out of all people.
Yeah, but I, I think I was just kinda hovering around behind her while she was doing the, uh, karaoke. You know, [laughs] and was just kinda listening. So I was in that, you know, kind of vacant-minded space where [laughs] you know, probably just had that vacant stare-
Yeah, you did
... on my face. [laughs]
That, that was the ... You're all lost. [laughs]
[laughs]
Disoriented. Just... [laughs]
Like, yeah. Come on, people. Before you post videos of some- somebody else, see if they look fat and stupid. [laughs]
Well, the, the worst one is the original Peaches needs a pal video that Josh uploaded. I, I re-watched it. I'm, like, messing with my bottom lip, and I'm sitting there by myself at the Mountain America Center, and every single chair around me is vacant.
[laughs]
So I'm like, "Brr," you know, [laughs] sitting there. Oh, I was... I'm so glad I wasn't picking my nose.
Oh. Yeah.
Yeah, if Josh got footage of that he would've shared it with everybody.
Now, picking your nose is ... I, I would rather somebody shared video of me picking my nose than just looking fat. [laughs]
Would you rather have picking your nose, looking fat, or driving your car into a snow pile in the parking lot?
[laughs]
[laughs]
I, I think
a- as long as the vehicle wasn't damaged, I'd go for the snow pile.
Mine was slightly damaged.
Slightly damaged.
When I did that.
Yeah.
I think the video is still out there somewhere.
And actually, I'm, you know, I'm sitting here saying I'd rather somebody post video of me picking my nose and, you know, fat pictures of me. But I... There's tons of fat pictures of me. I was just thinking when you mentioned, uh, the Peaches needs a pal video. I remember years ago when we had Stitched Up Heart in studio and we took a picture with them, and I had braces and was fat. [laughs] And it was one, one of the worst pictures of me ever.
And you had the, uh, skullet too.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I was w- I think I was wearing a hat. You know, it was old Victor. Hat, skullet, braces, fat. [laughs] Not as fat as I am now, though. I'm at, I'm at, like, max bulk as far as I've ever been, but I'm hoping to, you know,
tone it down a bit. I bought a bicycle. I'm gonna ride it. You know, I haven't been drinking any booze.
Dude, why don't you just join my run when I'm, uh, running around the neighborhood?
Eh, I'm not really a big fan of running, though.
Oh, come on.
I got a treadmill in my basement-
Nah, dude
... if I wanna run.
I run by that Freddy's all the time.
Ugh. Yeah.
Or at least I used to. Now I'm getting back into it and it's, uh, it's gonna be rather difficult.
Dude, and I don't want to be running down Woodruff. You know?
I, I do.
I have people honking at me.
I, I do too.
Laughing at me.
There, there are people that honk at me and go, "Peaches, I saw you."
Yeah, run, run, fatty, run!
[laughs] Yeah.
Yeah, I don't need that in my life.
You're gonna be the guy yelling that at me.
[laughs]
I encourage people.
I'm-
If they see me walking, you know, be like-
[laughs] Why don't you run, fatty?
Start, just start yelling some inspirational messages to me or something. I don't know.
[laughs]
Drive by me blasting Eye of the Tiger.
[upbeat music] It's the noon hour of madness and mayhem, and here's Jade yet again to give me more work, right?
Yeah. Go detail that van. I've already done part of it.
Detail the van?
You need that on your resume just like me.
No. You're, you're the one who's trying to build the world's longest radio resume. [laughs]
[laughs] At one place.
You, you just gotta join sales now.
Well, I've done sales.
Oh, okay. Uh, general manager.
I've been interim general manager.
[laughs] Oh, yeah, you have. I forgot. [laughs]
I've not been sales manager or HR.
Okay. Well, we don't wanna put you in charge of HR, that's for sure.
[laughs] Huh. What's, what's wrong with that?
I, I don't know.
[laughs]
I, I just don't like you in that kind of position. That's the position where everyone thinks they're trying to help them, but they're not. [laughs]
Somebody would confess something to Jade, and then Jade would just laugh.
[laughs]
[laughs]
Like, "What are you doing that for?" "Stop being dumb." [laughs]
Do your job. [laughs]
Go detail that van. We need to sell it.
[laughs]
You want a, a piece of radio history, the old Klassy/Cannibal van. Selling that. It has built-in DJ farts.
Built-in DJ farts.
And Klassy farts. [laughs]
Klassy farts.
Very, very Klassy.
I mean, that van's been a- been around for a long time. So-
Uh, 2007.
2007?
Yeah.
So dude, that's, that's a lot of years of DJ farts. That is 19 years of DJ farts.
I'm so happy I also farted in that van too. [laughs]
I'm pretty sure I've farted in there, and Jade, of course. But-
I'm doing it right now
... think about how many different DJs have driven that van.
And think about some of those DJs.
Oh, some of them have to have-
Ew.
I mean, you think Jade farts are bad.
Ew.
Some of them, I'm just guessing they gotta have really bad farts. [laughs] So you, you came in here and you were fiddling around with something.
It was just garbage I found.
Oh, it was just garbage?
Yeah.
Okay.
Just more garbage. He's-
Where you putting all the garbage in here?
Not all of it. I've spread it around. I put the pink sweater in the Klassy Studios because it, that seemed fitting.
Yeah. Yeah. Josh, Josh could use it.
Yeah.
You know, bandana on a cold day or something.
Yeah.
For his bald head. [laughs] I don't know why I say that. Me and Peaches are bald too, but [laughs] all right.
Seems to be a requisite around here.
In-
Are, when are you gonna join the team?
I'm not-
Look at me, I'm so cool, I have hair.
When I get cancer.
Oh, good for you. [laughs] Oh, geez. [laughs] Wow.
When I peace out and take the long nap.
[laughs]
I mean, Justin's already, like, halfway there.
I don't know why- He just needs to give up. Yeah, why doesn't Justin shave his head?I don't get it
He, he's holding on for dear life
You know? Like, just give in. Just shave it, and then you never have to pay for a haircut again. You just do it yourself.
And we gotta pay for all the razor blades and shaving cream.
I don't know. I don't Bic it. You know, I just use the electric razor, get it close enough and like, "Ah, good."
Use one of those face ones, so it's just-
Yeah
... brr.
I use just the same razor for everywhere.
[laughs]
That's right.
You start from the bottom. [laughs]
[laughs] How did you know?
Butt head.
[laughs] Oh, by the way, everybody, I mentioned on the morning show I was trying to call Pocatello High School to get the current status of my diploma and fines. 26 years ago, I refused to pay my fines, my parking tickets for parking in the teacher's parking lot. It was a protest. And, uh, it's been a few years since I checked in, but I can't get ahold of the registrar, so that's gonna probably be a break for tomorrow. But anyway, Peaches, you said you had something.
Yeah. [laughs] This popped up on my Facebook and I can't stop laughing at it. It's from the Number One Selfie Lounge, and someone by the name of Eli posted, "Ladies, what's your sexiest pic to make guys drool?"
Oh.
[laughs]
Jeez.
I, I need to find the comments here. Hold on.
I would imagine the comments section's pretty good. I would imagine [laughs] it's pretty funny because anybody sees that kind of post... Well, you did say it was in a selfie group, so I, I don't know. Or on a selfie page.
I, I lost the post unfortunately.
Oh.
When you go back- when, when you go back to the Facebook app, it just refreshes. And thi- this group should not be, [laughs] should not be joined. [laughs]
[laughs]
There's a bunch of ladies in here showing off their feet. [laughs]
[laughs] Dude, what's with the internet and feet, man? Like, I don't know. I mean, everybody's got their things they're into, but the internet would have you convinced that basically everyone is really-
Like-
... into feet
... I love that this is, this is a post, "Happy Memorial Day," and it shows some girl, like, half-naked on the beach making a silly face.
Uh, all right. So just posting selfies, huh?
And then you also got, "Let me see all the beautiful ladies in this group." [laughs]
So every- it, it's either-
Oh, I found it. I found the post.
Okay.
I scrolled down a little bit more. Uh, "My new bikini I got last week."
There's actually girls posting pics for this creep?
Y- yeah.
Dude.
All right. I mean,
I've called out, [laughs] you know, guys' strange social media behaviors before. I would think that one, ladies would be like, "No, I'm not giving you a photo, weirdo." But apparently it works if you're in a selfie group.
Richard commented, "You know what's more sexiest is being yourself natural. If guys don't drool, that not worth it. Be yourself."
Ugh.
[laughs]
Okay. Rich- Richard, that his name?
[laughs]
English, English class Richard, that might help you pick up the ladies.
Nick also commented, "There's a lot of confident, not so pretty people in this world, LOL."
[laughs]
Does, does that mean there's ugly people posting in the comments?
Yeah.
[laughs]
[laughs]
Yeah, there's a lot of these women that are, you know, low cut shirts, just like-
Will you-
... "Look at me"
... will you post a fat picture of me in there? [laughs]
[laughs]
Just for that guy's enjoyment.
Does it look like I don't pay my high school fines?
[laughs]
[laughs] That's right. You, you're looking for a cheapskate?
Or fund my OF so that way I can-
[laughs]
... pay off those fines and get my high school diploma finally after 26 years. [laughs]
[laughs] [upbeat music]
The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com. [upbeat music]