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It's called Luminous Life Force.
It's sacred. It's sexual. It's healing.
You’re here to be luminous. … To remember your magic.
We have the capacity to rise into our highest consciousness through intense times when we melt into a deeper version of love and acceptance, and follow the rules of nature.
I am the open door that no one can close, and I want to open doors that you never even knew existed. We will connect through meditation, spirituality and use our ancient sexual energy, to heal together.
Join me and let’s cultivate our most luminous life force together. ❤️
River Roaring co-organizes the Sacred Sexuality Austin Empowerment Circle Friday evening events, and facilitates weekend workshops and private muse-and-mentoring programs, all in-person in her temple in the beautiful city of Austin, Texas.
More information can be found here:
riverroaring.com
Hello darling, this is River Roaring, celebrating the Luminous Life Force in us all. -Hello, darling. I'm River Roaring, and this episode is Boner Shame Harms Us All. This is one subject that I am the most passionate about, one of them. And because I believe that, number one, one, the harms are beyond measure for all of humanity.
Speaker 1:Number two, I've never heard anybody else even name this subject or notice it's happening. And so to me, it's like if it is extremely impactful, deeply, deeply, deeply impactful on all of us and harming us according to me, yet no one has even noticed it. That's a pretty interesting combination. So for today, I want to invite you into a land. Excuse me.
Speaker 1:So this story, so I want to invite you into a land of make believe. In this land far, far away in a time and space that's very much like ours, but this one very strange thing happened happened about about this this land land and and this this realm. Realm. And it's very interesting. No one knows how it started.
Speaker 1:But in this one realm, if you have blonde hair, you lift your arms up in the air and everyone is going to start ridiculing you, shaming you, and laughing at you, and scoffing at you, and scorning you. And then they will proceed to gossip about you and make fun of you as a lesser being, as an idiot and someone who's lesser than everybody else, only if you have blonde hair. So if you have blonde hair and you raise one or both of your arms, eternal shame and scoffing. And nobody really knows how this started in this society. No one can remember where it started.
Speaker 1:Started And nobody can remember how it was ever taught to each other or how it was handed down because now it's been there so long in the culture that it's a given. It's an understood. So you really don't even have to tell any kids about it because little kids quickly notice, oh my gosh, if anybody has blonde hair, they can't raise their arms up in the air. Like they never raise their arms in the air. And then when I did see someone do it, everyone started laughing at them immediately and then people were later gossiping about them and ostracizing them and saying they were lesser people because they had blonde hair and they raised their arms in the air.
Speaker 1:And so since I have blonde hair and I'm a little kid I better not ever raise my arms in the air and I don't know why we're doing this but I don't feel like it's safe enough to ask anybody about it because everyone reacts so clearly and in unison and everyone acts the same way about when a blonde person raises their arms. And so I notice that and I picked up on it and I'm just falling in line line with it. I'm not going to be brave enough to ask questions about it. I'm just going to make sure, since I have blonde hair, that I never raise my arms up in the air. And I better not ask anybody why it is.
Speaker 1:Just do it. And then their friends who don't have blonde hair as they're growing up as kids, they're also learning this by watching the adults scoff and mock each other and gossip and berate one another behind their backs because they saw a blonde person raise their arms and so the people who don't have blonde hair and they're little kids, they're like, Wow, I don't know why this is happening either, but it's so shameful. I'm not going to ask about it. And those blonde kids must be lesser than me or something. Like, Look at me.
Speaker 1:I'm raising my arms in the air. I'm just raising my arms whenever I want to. I raise one arm, I raise the other arm, I raise both arms. Nobody even notices. But when this blonde friend of mine raises their arms, it's terrible And so they always keep their arms down.
Speaker 1:So I wonder what's wrong with blonde haired people. And then as the kids grow up in school, the blonde kids never raise their hand to say they know the answer. So the teachers starting in kindergarten, first grade, second grade, and all the way up, when the teachers in the class and school ask, Who knows the answer? Raise your hand. None of the blonde kids ever raised their hand.
Speaker 1:It's because of this shame and this ridicule and this unspoken rule in society but no one really talks much about it. And so over time and over generations it turns out that people are like, well you know blonde haired people are also really stupid because they never raise their hand to say they know the answer, like never. Like I've never seen a blonde haired kid raise their hand. So they're obviously dumb and they're stupider than we are because they never know the answer. And so generations go by and that becomes a thing that is just known by culture but no one remembers how it started.
Speaker 1:And then the blonde haired people who have tried to raise their hand feel shamed and scoffed and they feel like they're less than other people but they really don't know exactly what's going on with it. But they know they've got to keep their hands down. And then over time the blonde haired people start believing that they're dumber than everybody else as well because it goes through generations of people going, I'm not sure how or why it started or what happened here, but blonde kids never know the answer and the blonde kids are dumb. And then blonde parents start teaching the blonde children they have that they're just a little dumber than everybody else. And so everyone accepts that and takes it for granted they're just a little dumber.
Speaker 1:And since blonde haired people never get to raise their arms but everybody else can raise their arms. They get frustrated inside over time and that just grows over time because the subject is too shameful to ask about or too shameful to talk about and so they have to stuff their feelings about it. And so blonde people over generations and generations have started to just all stuff their frustrated feelings and their feelings that life isn't fair and something's wrong and why can't they move their bodies like everybody else moves their bodies but this is too dangerous and shameful to bring up so they stuff their feelings generation after generation. And then what you have is you have this group of blonde haired people who are basically emotionally traumatized. So now they're emotionally traumatized.
Speaker 1:They think they're stupid. Other people think they're stupider. Other people notice their emotional trauma and they're like, You know what? Blonde haired people also can't handle their emotions. Did you notice that if you say one little word wrong this blonde haired person is always exploding in anger so they just don't know how to handle their emotions?
Speaker 1:Blonde haired people just don't have emotional regulation whatsoever. They're all traumatized and everything. They're just worse at emotions than we are and I don't know why. I think it's just scientifically proven. They're just dumber, more frustrated, more emotionally disregulated, and they also just don't move as freely.
Speaker 1:And so all the blonde haired people have a lot of reasons they're more shut down and they're overall more tense in their body. And so overall they don't move their bodies as much. They don't really get to engage in sports because of course they can't play basketball and they can't play any sport where the arms are raised. So they can't play volleyball, basketball, tennis. And so they're not very sportsmanlike and they're not in sports a lot and so people start gossiping, you know, they're also weaker and their bodies are weaker and their bodies are also more tense.
Speaker 1:They have more tension in their muscles, so their bodies are tense. So blonde people are more shut down, stupid, tense, frustrated, and they're not good sports players. They're also just weird and shut down blonde people. And then everybody just starts accepting society wide. Blonde haired and non blonde haired people accept this.
Speaker 1:Know blonde haired people, they're just kind of dumb and tense and frustrated and they really never know the answer in school and they never play sports. They're just weird. They're just sad. They're just less than us. And then one blonde haired person raises their arms in the corner and out of a completely, what's the right word, automatic reaction, right?
Speaker 1:A completely automatic knee jerk reaction. Everybody starts laughing and scoffing at them, the blonde haired person that raised their hands and arms in the air. And there it is again reinforced again and everybody in that room got it reinforced, and that blonde haired person got it reinforced. And every time that a blonde haired person slightly raises their arm or their hand, everyone rips out in laughter and gossip and ridicule, and it all gets reinforced again. And this society in this far off land Isn't it weird?
Speaker 1:Isn't this far off land really weird? They're so weird and strange. How'd they get that way? Why'd they let their society get that way? How come no one would even talk about it?
Speaker 1:Why was everyone afraid to mention it? And then, well actually in this far off land, most people didn't even know what was going on. They were just like, blonde haired people are stupid, and they're rigid, and they're just very dysregulated and no one really knows how that happened. So most people just take it for granted and don't even ask themselves, why is that anyway?' And the blonde haired people are so shamed and disempowered after generation after generation of trauma, they're like, 'Something's wrong but I don't know what it is.' And I know I'm less than but like what's wrong with this picture? I can't put my finger on it.
Speaker 1:So you have lots of people who are frustrated. You have all of these people who aren't blonde who've been ridiculing and laughing at something but they don't really know why. And they've been disparaging blonde people, which is actually very harmful to them because even though I don't have blonde hair in that far off realm, if I'm constantly disparaging my neighbor it's emphasizing our separation, not our unity. So I am in this world where I think other people are dumb and rigid and I judge them and ridicule out of a knee jerk reaction I'm not even sure why but I do that's actually a really icky feeling inside me. I don't like ridiculing other people.
Speaker 1:I don't like feeling disconnected and separate from other people. But all the people who don't have blonde hair just know that they feel very disconnected from the blondes. And that's very unhealthy. And then the blonde haired people have lots of health concerns. And so whether you're on the side that is constantly ridiculing or whether you're on the side that is ridiculed.
Speaker 1:If you live in this far off realm where blonde haired people can't raise their arms in the air, you're harmed. If you're one of the blonde haired people, you're shut down and you're not sure why and you're too disempowered to even ask about it. And if you're one of the non blonde haired people, you are suffering from disconnection, separation and a false superiority complex and just the fact that you don't get to connect with all those beautiful blonde haired people in love and mutual respect and equality, mutuality. You don't get to fully meet one another with all those blonde haired people. What if your soul mate was a blonde haired person, but because of the way you were raised, you just blew them off all your life.
Speaker 1:You just blow off your soul mate because of your preconditioned ideas that they put they're dumb. They're dumb and rigid and dysregulated. So because of that false preconceived notion about blonde haired people, you missed your opportunity for your soul mate because you just overlooked them. So you get harmed also. If you don't have blonde hair, you're not open to everybody.
Speaker 1:You're just open to the non blonde haired people. That hurts you actually. So it's interesting how in this far off realm, everyone is hurt by this. Children are hurt by being taught things they don't understand that are harmful to everybody but they're raised in it so they just start acting along with it without asking questions. It's so ingrained in the society that it doesn't even have to be spoken or taught because it's just so obvious when kids grow up.
Speaker 1:You ask a kid, Where did you learn that blonde haired people can't raise their arms in the air? And they're like, I don't know. I don't remember learning that. I just knew it. I just knew that.
Speaker 1:And maybe some of the blonde haired kids might remember when they were really small and really young and they raised their arms in the air. Maybe their mother who was also blonde said, Put your arms down! Put your arms down! Put your arms down. If you ever do that again, do it at home in your bedroom where no one else can see.
Speaker 1:But just keep them down. They don't know why mommy said that, but mommy said, put our arms down. Don't ever put them up in public. Oh my god, I will never forget that. Well my darling, have you noticed the comparison that I'm making in my story of the far off realm and the blonde haired people who can't raise their arms in the air for fear of ridicule and belittlement, judgment, gossip, disdain?
Speaker 1:And then eventually personality traits creep in on both sides, one of judgment and ridicule and disdain, and the other one of shame and disempowerment, all stemming stemming back to some arcane belief that blonde haired people aren't supposed to raise their arms in the air and no one really has thought about that again, no one really has analyzed. Is that a good rule or a bad rule? Does that law that we all assume is true even help us in any way, or does it actually harm us? And it's exactly the same in 2026 when I'm making this podcast in The United States Of America where I am sitting making the podcast for boner shame. Now what is boner shame?
Speaker 1:And River, why would you call it boner shame of all things? Okay, first of all, boner in English is a slang term for a male erection. So when I say boner, I'm talking about the male body's erection. And the slang term is boner. And why would I use the word boner instead of erection?
Speaker 1:Because I think it's more interesting. I think boner shame is more the common term that is used for what I'm talking about. So I'm using the common term boner shame. That's why I chose to use it and not erection. To me, erection has a lot of problems.
Speaker 1:That word itself has a lot of problems with it. And one, it feels over medicalized. And I've got some theories that go on to word formation, which I love the word. So I'm using the word boner, shame. And if it bothers you to hear the word boner, I am going to invite you right now to look at that in yourself.
Speaker 1:Why would the word boner bother you? So in our comparison, society, again, United Our States Of America 2026, there we have the same basic situation going on as this far off realm. Only instead of blonde people, it's people who have erections. People who have boners, which is basically the male body. So in our society, the male bodied humans are like the blond people.
Speaker 1:And instead of being shamed when they raise their arms in the air, they're shamed when they have a boner. That's just like, what's the really big difference between raising an arm in the air and that body part going up in the air? The boner. I mean, it's just a natural body movement. They're both natural body movements and every single human being should have the right to move their body freely in the world.
Speaker 1:And if they are unable to move their body freely in the world for an arbitrary, ridiculous reason like we've just all decided that you can't ever move that part of your body and we don't know who decided it or when they did, but we all agree, even though we've never said it out loud one time, we've never mentioned it, yet we all agree. So just don't move that part of your body. And it's just a given. It's just how it is is how some people like to say it. But I don't like to think of it that way because it's not just how it is.
Speaker 1:It doesn't have to be that way. I call BS on that. I stand for that every human being can move their body parts in exactly how they want to move their body parts up to the point where they're interfering in someone else's body parts. So I believe in body sovereignty. Let's look at Boner Shame in The United States.
Speaker 1:And I don't know, but I don't know how worldwide it is. But let's look at boner shame in The United States. No one really knows exactly where it started, and I haven't ever heard anybody ask where it started. I haven't even heard anybody ever in my entire life other than one YouTube video I found that had like 10 views on it from this beautiful woman in Detroit. I was going on and on about it.
Speaker 1:I was like, Girl, you go. I had been really upset by the issue myself having basically kind of stumbled upon the issue on my own. And I was on the Internet looking around, Does anybody talk about this? Does anybody mention this? And that's where I found this sweet little video.
Speaker 1:This person in their house making a video just upset about it. Didn't have very many views, but I do give her a lot of credit. I should go back and look her up. So other than that one person, I have never heard anybody even notice mention it, much less ask, why do we do this? Why do we shame each other for boners?
Speaker 1:And what does it do? Does it help us as a society or does it harm us as a society? And here's what I have to say about the harms. If you have the male body and you can't ever move one part of your body almost ever, like 99% of the time, unless you're really home alone. Because as far as I know, in most homes, the boner shame, unwritten, unspoken rule is enforced when family members are around.
Speaker 1:And so the boner is only allowed not only when you're in your own home, but also when you're only by yourself in your own home. Then you get to be with your own body part moving like it naturally wants to move. Just think of that alone before I talk about any other harms. That is terrible. Just think about why do we let that happen?
Speaker 1:That's terrible just by the fact that a normal physical body movement is basically almost illegal. That's terrible all by itself, but things go a lot further than that because we now know that the body, the mind, and the emotions are one. They are not different things. Same with spirit. Body, mind, emotion, emotion, and spirit or soul, all those parts of us are one being.
Speaker 1:So if I can't move a really big and beautiful and gorgeous part of my body, that normally moves when I'm in joy and happiness and I'm happy and stimulated. It doesn't always move for the same reason, but it often moves when I'm joyful, and it's basically illegal to move it. So if body and mind and emotions are one, I'm deprived of my full emotional range because I cannot move my body whenever I feel like it. And it's actually the part of my body that really is a large indicator of joy and happiness and exuberance and arousal. So those portions of my emotions are literally stunted because my body is rigid and falsely repressed 99.9% of my life.
Speaker 1:So therefore all those emotions and more are also repressed 99.9% of my life. And I just feel like that is tragic, that one half of our population, we don't allow them through some arbitrary rule that we're too chicken shit to even mention to each other or ask about. And because of some rule, nobody even knows why exactly it's important. Half of our population doesn't get to access their full emotional range, that is very unhealthy. It harms everybody.
Speaker 1:But it goes further than that. So if the emotions and the mind and the body are all one, what about the mind? That body part might move more often when I'm thinking about sex or when I'm turned on by the sun and the butterflies and the wind and the breeze on my hair and the gorgeous flowers around me. So me as a female bodied person, I get to be really aroused 99% of the time or 100% of the time. I get to be aroused whenever I feel like it.
Speaker 1:I get to be aroused by beautiful smell in the spring morning. I get to be literally, my body aroused by the beautiful colors on the butterfly, by the sky and the clouds and the rainbow, by the smell of rain on dust, by the beautiful human being I'm looking at nude in front of me, by the sexual thoughts I'm having in the produce aisle, by the joy and exuberance and emotions I'm feeling as I watch a movie in public that's really joyful and exuberant. And when I'm in a public place listening to a speaker and they're so excellent that I just get exuberant, I can just get aroused. I can be aroused all the time, but half of the population can't. They can't do that.
Speaker 1:So they don't get to think sexy thoughts most of the day, 99.9% of the time. They don't get to think sexy thoughts. They don't get to feel joyful exuberance that if it's going to stir this body part, they better not. And that's harmful. That harms everybody.
Speaker 1:So then the person who can't move their body how their body wants to move and doesn't therefore have access to a big chunk of the emotional range by society's decision that they don't get that, that nobody knows why, and then they can't think sexy thoughts almost any of the time for reasons nobody really knows why or speaks about, but still that's just true. So you're physically, emotionally, and mentally stunted. And I would say that all of that also adds up to stunting your soul, keeping your soul repressed in this lifetime. And I'm saying that because the reason my soul comes to life is when I follow my desire, small and large. My soul speaks to me through desire.
Speaker 1:It's like, oh, river. Oh, river. That looks good over there. Let's go that way. Oh, river.
Speaker 1:What's that? Let's do it. That's my soul speaking through my desire and my belief system. This is how our souls work with us. Our soul is evolved through us following our desire in the world because that's our unique brand of personality and purpose and passion.
Speaker 1:All those things are by following desire. My purpose in life, my passion for life, my passion in life, which actually all leads to my mission on earth. So to me, of that comes from my desire. But basically men, they don't get to explore their desires all day, every day. They don't get to live in desire.
Speaker 1:They don't get to live in full passion. And I'm serious, it's a problem. I can hardly believe I have to speak the words and that I'm the only one speaking the words. I can hardly believe how big the issue is and how small the concern currently is about it. A half of our population doesn't get to have the passion in their lives.
Speaker 1:Most of the time they can't live passionately, that's a problem. That's terrible. That harms us all. And now I come to the part where we look at what has happened over generation after generation of boner shame in The United States Of America. No one knows when it started.
Speaker 1:No one knows exactly why it started. Of course, we could make up reasons, but we don't know. No one really knows where this unspoken rule even came from. However, let's look at how, over all of these generations of having this unspoken, unwritten rule enforced by shame and scorn of the highest order, now in 2026 and I'm not kidding about this one. You can go on the internet.
Speaker 1:You can ask all the AIs you want to ask because all they know is what's on the internet. And you can ask them, are men more emotionally stunted than women? And a lot of people in today's society, a lot of people fully believe that men do not have the emotional range women have by nature. So it's one thing to think, oh, men don't have the emotional range women have because they've been stunted by boner shame their entire lives. That's actually a helpful statement because we can start to empower men through untangling how they cut into that predicament.
Speaker 1:But instead, some people actually just believe, oh, men by nature you know, nature, human nature you know, they don't really have emotional range. Men, not that much emotional range, if you know what I mean. That's just how men are. You know what I mean. That's very harmful.
Speaker 1:That's very harmful for everybody. Because if I'm a woman and I think men by nature have a lower emotional range, then I'm going to treat my man as if he has a lower emotional range which is extremely disrespectful and disregarding of who he is and what his capacity is to meet me and be in partnership with me. But I'm going be like, Oh, you wouldn't understand. That's an emotional thing. Don't worry about it.
Speaker 1:And the same thing happens with men and the idea of sexual creativity. The same thing if you ask people and do a poll. A lot of people will tell you, No, men are not that sexually creative. You know how they are. Men, they're not that sexually creative.
Speaker 1:Boring. They don't have that many ideas sexually. It's just scripted. Well, I wonder why that is, ladies. You know, it's like, come on, people.
Speaker 1:We're all doing this to each other. I'm not calling out anybody. There's definitely no one person that's doing this. We're all doing it to each other. We're all agreeing to this preposterous rule that men cannot move their bodies when they want to and when it moves on naturally.
Speaker 1:So then we have these false perceptions that men actually, by nature, don't have the emotional range or that by nature they don't have any creativity sexually. And it's easy to scoff and scorn and gossip and laugh and ridicule. And I've heard some of that before. I've heard some of that before. And then it goes the other way.
Speaker 1:Men are also violent, mean, dangerous. Gosh, why would they be frustrated? I don't know. Remember when everyone was saying the blonde people were disregulated and frustrated and easily angered? Of course they are!
Speaker 1:They can't move their body most of their lives. And no one knows why. No one will talk about it. So I'm not saying this is the only thing that is a problem in all the men's lives in the whole world. But this is a really impactful issue.
Speaker 1:And I think if I were in the category of people who supposedly couldn't move my body when I want to, I'd be pissed, kind of pissed at society and the world. And I'd have a little bit of a chip on my shoulder I'd need to work with. And that wouldn't be because that's my human nature. That would be because human beings put a cultural rule on me that is very insulting and very undignified. We really rob the dignity from our men through this very sick rule that they can't move their bodies when they feel like it and when it wants to move.
Speaker 1:So we have all of these ramifications. We have men who don't have a broad range in a bunch of different areas. We have the rest of society who criticizes them for not having the broad range, and then it gets baked in, and people are to believe that that's their nature, that they're that way. Do you see the comparisons to our far off land where blonde people can't raise their arms in the air. I don't see very many differences to what we have going on here today with Boner Shame.
Speaker 1:And I also want to say that I have met women. I don't think only women fit in this category, but this is who I remember talking to. I have met more than one woman who feels a lot of negative emotions and feelings when she sees a boner, even under clothing. And that's because she had pretty severe child sexual abuse that, let's say, revolved around the boner. And so because of this specific past, this person is very uneasy around boners and very good reasons for it.
Speaker 1:Through a healthy childhood adaptation, she's developed a lot of protective fear around boners from things that really did happen. And that's a very serious and very real situation in our society as well. I've met more than one woman who felt that way for that basic reason. And I care a lot about that. And I want to live in a society where people are constantly retraumatized for no reason.
Speaker 1:And what I would say about the healthy outcome here is that the person who's experienced abuse related to erections and therefore is very uncomfortable around the boner, that needs healing. That person needs healing. And when we were broken in relationship, we need to be healed in relationship. So that is a very tender, very serious and real and very what's the right word? It's a very real need for healing.
Speaker 1:And every person who has that situation and has fear and trepidation around a body part moving from good reasons from the past deserves and is worthy of full healing of that in them. So I'm not ignoring that reality. I don't think the answer is that one half of our population will never be able to move their body, the exuberant part of their body even especially. I don't think that's the answer. I think the answer is there's healing to do really on all sides.
Speaker 1:And when we are healed, I believe we will live in a golden age where humans can move their bodies in exuberant joy and arousal whenever they feel like it, whenever it's true to the body, so that we start to live in truth and love and light and harmony and acceptance, full acceptance. Wow, you must be pretty exuberant right now. Wow. Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1:You know, feeling good? Feeling invigorated over there? I have seen I remember the most vivid one I remember is when I was at Barton Springs one time there in the swimming in Austin in nature in this gorgeous, most beautiful water, living waters from down under. But there was a man standing there with a full on boner in his bathing suit just standing so proud with his hands on his hips, just standing as proud and erect as you could be. I mean, even his whole body, his chest was out, just proud and erect and had a boner.
Speaker 1:And I just was like, what an epic, epic thing of beauty. What an epic piece of art. What a beautiful, beautiful thing to behold that you basically never get to see in our society. And all it is is a human being being themselves and being exuberant, but it's one of those kind of people, men. Now I'll have to do another podcast about some of the shame that women have.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying that women don't have our own special brand of shame. Of course we do. That was just reserved just for us. Oh yeah, we have plenty, but this one is about boner shame and how it harms us all because when our men don't have the range of emotion and body movement and exuberance and creativity, that's very harmful for the whole of society because we wanna usually partner with each other and stuff like that. So I want an alive, erect, powerful, exuberant partner when they are in their exuberance.
Speaker 1:I want it to all stand tall and just to be my king has an erection whenever he feels like it as much as he wants to. I support that. This is beautiful. I know that's the future we're going to someday. I know we're moving moving in that direction.
Speaker 1:What's your relationship with boner shame? How do you feel about it? Do you have a body that gets boners? And so you're on the side of it where do you remember where you learned you weren't supposed to have a boner in public? Did you ever get taught that?
Speaker 1:Or was it just a given and an understanding? Do you have memories of being shamed or ridiculed or being afraid of being shamed and ridiculed, so trying to hide your body movement? Do you have memories of being gossiped about by other people because your body moved naturally? And if you are not the person with the body who has boners, how do you feel about seeing a boner? Are you the person who scoffs and laughs and ridicules?
Speaker 1:And I'm not judging if you are. I'm just asking to make a real true assessment of yourself and inviting you to look at yourself like, am I one of the people who's been laughing all this time and not even knowing really exactly why just generally shaming sexuality left and right, I'm not judging it because it's so ingrained that we're expected to laugh. If you saw a sitcom TV show on which wouldn't happen because they wouldn't show it but if you did and there was a guy who just walked in with a boner, there would be a laugh track just for that reason. How are you standing in relation with the boner and boner shame? And I want to add in one last part, but it's not small.
Speaker 1:It's big. How many men in The United States Of America believe that they have some kind of what is called erectile dysfunction, meaning I usually it means I don't get erect when I want to be erect. Isn't that ironic? I mean, think about it. I will bet you that it is a multi billion dollar industry, quote unquote erectile dysfunction repair mechanisms and gizmos and doctors and pumps and pills and porn and all the things that male bodied bodied humans try to do to work with their erection being healthy and coming up when they want it to.
Speaker 1:And all of the women who ridicule men for not having the erection at the right time, just sit with the irony of that. I mean, just really drink that in. We have made an arbitrary rule. Nobody knows exactly where it came from. We're all enforcing it without talking about it, too affricting, too just not even noticing to ask about it.
Speaker 1:It's harming everybody. And we're also going to take that same group of people and we're going to say, now that you have kept your boner down falsely for 99% of your life when you didn't want to keep it down down because we made you keep it down. Now if it's not up, when we say so, you're broken and you need medicine and pills and you need to think that you are just broken and shame. And also people are going to gossip about you and ridicule you, etc. Well it's just basically impossible that a body part has been trained for 99.9% of the time to not move no matter what, even if it wants to.
Speaker 1:It's just almost impossible that that thing is going to just be exactly doing what you want to, when you want to, for as long as you want to, when you're ready for it to, because you've already trained it to do not what it wants to do and to be unnatural. So how many different how much money and how much time and how much sweat and worry is spent over trying to get the erection at x y and z time and keep it for a, b, and c time. I've had people come to me and tell me that they all kinds of things about the erection being a problem. And so often, even that part of it is not a problem. So far, I've worked in sexual healing for fifteen years straight, completely full time with no other income for over ten years.
Speaker 1:And I've never yet met a person who actually their erection didn't work, even though they think many, many people have told me, no, it doesn't work. I'm like, well, looks like it works. Because it does work. It's just that we have all of these really harmful false ideas ideas about what the male body is supposed to do and when. And so maybe I'll do a whole other podcast just on quote unquote erectile dysfunction and what's really going on there, I think that'd be a great podcast.
Speaker 1:I just feel like that's almost a completely separate subject. It's a big subject unto itself, but I think that would make a great podcast. What's really going on with erectile dysfunction in addition to this problem. This is the big overarching thing I want to talk about Boner Shame. So it's even causing a multi billion industry of people feeling like they're broken at the deepest level.
Speaker 1:When people feel like their erections are not working, it's kind of like a deep shame level, not even willing to share it with most people because it's so shameful. That's a deep level of dishonoring of the person. So all of that forget the money that's spent on it, I'm just saying how big it is, the problem. More important is the broken spirit of the human, the bruise on the soul, the feeling I'm less than. That's very, very prominent.
Speaker 1:So my darling, what are we going to do about boner shame in The United States Of America? I want to invite you to notice if you are the type that has boners, maybe let yourself have boners a little bit more often here and there. Just let it happen. Maybe change your clothing up a little bit so your clothing doesn't hold you down quite so much. And just let your body move.
Speaker 1:See what happens. Maybe just try experimenting with letting your body move a little more naturally no matter what anyone else says. And if you're the type that doesn't get boners, I want to invite you to notice if you have boner shamed people in the past and consider not doing it in the future. You know, just consider letting everyone have a free pass on that one. What's the big deal?
Speaker 1:And maybe instead, compliment it. What would happen if you were like, oh, sweet. Nice. Sweet. You must be feeling awesome.
Speaker 1:And mean it, not in a ridiculing sarcastic way at all, just more like, oh, nice. You must be feeling good today. Why not? Why not turn boner shame into boner pride? And if you're either side with the boners or without the boners, I want to invite you to bring this up with one person in your life in the next few days, just one person.
Speaker 1:Just go, have you ever thought about this? It's kind of like a faraway land where blonde people can't raise their arms in the air or they're shamed and ridiculed. Maybe that's the way to do it. Look, have you ever thought about this? What do you think about it?
Speaker 1:Do you think it benefits our society or harms us to have this kind of unspoken rule? Has it ever affected you? Have you ever noticed it from one side or the other? Think about striking up conversation with someone today. And I believe we can let this go.
Speaker 1:One of my favorite ideas because I've talked about this in a few different environments over the years. And one of my favorite ideas and I wish I remember who came up with it but I was in a room with my wheelheads. And wheelheads are people who have gone through my weekend workshop. And over the years, I've had a lot of different specialty programs just for wheelheads. So once you go through my weekend workshop, you're a wheelhead, you're in this special club, and you get some special invitations.
Speaker 1:And I know I was in a room with wheelheads. We were talking about this, and someone went, hey, we need to have Boner Pride Day. And in Austin, there's this thing that happens called naked bike ride, midnight naked bike ride. I think it's once a year. And at midnight a large mass of people get together and ride their bikes through town naked.
Speaker 1:It's pretty simple, just like it sounds. But we were, I guess partly because of that and we're in Austin, Texas and we were like, what if we all get together on our bicycles and we ride around town, but we'll wear strap ons and we'll have these huge boners and then we'll hang glitter and ribbons off our boners. And so we'll have rainbow glitter ribbon boners just big and proud just riding through town like boner pride signs, boner pride, boner pride day. What do you think? Should we do it?
Speaker 1:I think it's awesome. I think it'd be so much fun. So if anybody wants to do that, give me a shout out. You can email me. You can comment.
Speaker 1:Let's do Boner Pride Day someday on the bicycles with streamers and glitter and signs and horns and big old strap on dildos. I just think that'd be so much fun. Are you in? Well, I want to thank you for sitting with me in this very unique conversation. And I'm saying unique because I've searched the web, and last time I looked, not many people were talking about this, even though it affects everybody every day.
Speaker 1:I invite you to remember the far off land with the people who have somehow for some reason agreed they don't know why, but they've all agreed that blonde haired people can't raise their arms in the air or they'll be shamed and ridiculed. And why would we choose to live that way? We are choosing to live that way, and it's really harming us all. And I'm with you today because I'm on Earth to support everybody who's called to bring maximum love and light into your lives. If you want to have a luminous life force, your whole body is going to be standing up tall when you're exuberant.
Speaker 1:That's what luminous life force will be like. And so liberating self expression in all of the realms where all is sacred, all the parts of the body are sacred, and all of the ways the parts of the body move are sacred, connecting with you to create a cosmic web of love and light throughout the realms. So my darling, leave me a comment, shoot me an email is the easiest way to do it. Just go my website at riverroaring.com and click on Let's Connect, Let's Talk River, and just shoot me your question, insight, reflection, your boner comment, your boner noticing, your boner share. Because together, my darling, it's together.
Speaker 1:Together is how we'll be able to step into a more harmonious vibration. Together, we can fly so much higher. We can shift human consciousness forever for the highest good of all beings. Are you in, my darling? May the love be with you, and may the love be with us all.