Mystery Maniacs

🎙️ Episode: https://share.transistor.fm/s/c3fd5690
📓 Show Notes: https://midsomermaniacs.transistor.fm/256

Mystery Maniacs Episode! In Podcast 256, a Batman villain uses dentures, tree trunks, and a stolen van to…have no escape plan. We discuss knee meat and bad bricks. That anorak needs a fringe.

Show Notes
Messy Morgue:

Star Struck Constable:

Archie as Popeye:

Mark's Mystery Novels: I'm launching two cozy mystery series this spring! Subscribe to my author newsletter at https://markbellauthor.substack.com/ to get free preview chapters in February before anyone else. Mystery Maniacs listeners get first access.

Thanks again for listening!
 
Mark & Sarah

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Upcoming Tentative  Schedule
  • January 19 - Midsomer S25E03
  • January 26 - Midsomer S25E04
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Creators and Guests

Host
Mark Bell
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs
Host
Sarah Smith-Robbins
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs

What is Mystery Maniacs?

Mystery Maniacs Podcast is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to British Mystery Television. Formerly, Midsomer Maniacs podcast.

Sarah:

Oh, maybe he didn't turn it on. Hey, maniacs.

Mark:

Hey, Midsummer Maniacs. Midsummer Maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. Each week we dig into an episode of the show including the murders, the mayhem, the loonies, and everything else we love.

Sarah:

This week, Midsummer Murders season 25 episode two. Of the dead. Lawn of the dead.

Mark:

Yes. Episode a 142.

Sarah:

Of Midsummer?

Mark:

Yes. Episode 256 for us.

Sarah:

Yeah. Welcome, maniacs.

Mark:

This is a spoiler podcast, which means we will tell you that somebody who had a very bad day and is grumpy about his dad is the killer.

Sarah:

Yes. We're gonna ruin it. If you haven't watched it, go watch it. Listen to the mini. Watch it again.

Sarah:

Come back.

Mark:

If you allow your kids to drop balls into your gross pool while they're doing their balls experiments, maybe you can let them listen to it.

Sarah:

If you let them use race toy racetrack things to do physics?

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

I don't know. Yes. Anyhoo, what do we have at the top? Anything we gotta we need to talk about before we dive in?

Mark:

Well, we've been doing recommendations as of late and we got a letter from a reverend, a reverend Edwards, who is a rector in North Carolina. We looked up your church. We're not gonna tell you where it is, but we looked up his church. It's the cutest little church.

Sarah:

It is cute.

Mark:

And he took our recommendation, decided to learn something new and learned tea line shorthand Oh. And wrote us all about it. As always, I look forward to your new episodes.

Sarah:

I'm still working on my Kagayuk Banuki. I still haven't mastered it. Now I'm challenged. I will

Mark:

figure it out. I am not one to talk. Okay? I realized this, but probably two weeks ago, Sarah said to me, I'm done with this.

Sarah:

I said, I figured it out. Time to move on to something new. I know how to do this now. And then I realized I was not happy. I was not satisfied and I was gonna keep trying so I could do better and I'm still trying.

Mark:

This week we finished one show and started a new show. We finished

Sarah:

the The Copenhagen test?

Mark:

Yes. We finished Copenhagen test and started the new season of

Sarah:

Traders.

Mark:

Traders along with we're almost almost finished the Korean culture cooking war show.

Sarah:

It's oh, what's it called? It's class class wars? Cooking class wars?

Mark:

Cooking class wars.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's like Michelin star chefs versus people who like own little mom and pop restaurants cooking up stuff and man, it makes you hungry.

Mark:

It makes you hungry and it gives you hope in the world because wow, everybody respects everybody else.

Sarah:

They're so kind to each other.

Mark:

So kind to each other.

Sarah:

And I had to make bibimbap this week because I keep seeing all this yummy Korean food. I'm like, I'm gonna make some gochujang. It

Mark:

was delicious.

Sarah:

Tell you, since Mark is off the dairy because he doesn't agree with him anymore And we've been eating a lot of Asian food, haven't we? Yes. We cheese in it.

Mark:

There's no cheese.

Sarah:

Been fun. It's been a little adventure we've been having.

Mark:

We also just wanted to say, off the top of the show, things are kinda crazy out there.

Sarah:

Yeah. We're not political on the podcast. We consider ourselves a little a little oasis from the crazy. But we just wanted to say off the top, if you're anywhere in the world and you feel unsafe or upset or overwhelmed by what's going on, we sympathize. We're with you.

Sarah:

You got people.

Mark:

And you're safe with us.

Sarah:

And we hope that this hour is peaceful for you. And maybe we give you a couple of laughs. Everybody needs that. Maybe. And we will end this week with a horrible movie and new recommendations to get you through the doldrums of winter if you live somewhere where it's winter right now.

Mark:

Excellent. Supposedly, it's winter. It's like 45 here. It was 60 yesterday.

Sarah:

Yeah. But it's gross outside.

Mark:

By the way, we also have a football team.

Sarah:

We live in Bloomington, Indiana, the home of Indiana University where we both work and we're kicking butt everywhere we go right now. It's kind of weird.

Mark:

It is nice to see that so many people who have cheered for a team for a very long time, say their entire lifetime, are now seeing that team in the championship. I wouldn't know what that's

Sarah:

the Toronto Maple Leafs fan. I went to the doctor's office yesterday for a checkup, and everybody there from the phlebotomist to the doctor was decked out in IU football gear. They were like, go team.

Mark:

Go team. Hoosiers.

Sarah:

Like, can I just get my blood pressure checked, please?

Mark:

Yep. Okay.

Sarah:

Are you ready for lawn of the dead?

Mark:

Lawn. Lawn of the dead.

Sarah:

I think this is a fun episode. The first episode in this season is meh. This one, fun.

Mark:

It's Peter Davidson, and I, like the constable we will talk about, am completely enamored with the name, man.

Sarah:

Yeah. Man, does he do some good faces in this episode.

Mark:

He turns into Popeye at one point. Does.

Sarah:

He does He does that one-sided mouth, like, showing his teeth. Yep. It's like an exaggerated, almost comical, like, scowl. Like

Mark:

And this episode, which was released the 12/15/2025, directed by Roberto Bangorra and written by Maria Ward, is about the bowls. Mhmm.

Sarah:

Lot of bowling.

Mark:

Something that I have to say, Sarah has found me watching on the main television a couple of times now. Having learned the rules of bowls, I've kind of become obsessed with it.

Sarah:

It's one of those games that's simple but Yes.

Mark:

So all you need to know is a couple of things. One, each player has a number of balls. In this case, two balls. There's three players on each team, so there's six balls per team, 12 balls in total, and then there's a little ball which is called the jack. The jack has to be thrown a certain amount of distance and then you get to be as close to the jack as possible.

Mark:

Only one team's ball balls count. So if you have three balls closer to the jack than any other balls from the any from the other side, you get three points. It's curling rules.

Sarah:

How is it different from do you remember a year in Provence? Sort of. They they play in gravel or sand.

Mark:

I think that's bocce.

Sarah:

Bocce. How is it different from bocce?

Mark:

The ball is very different, and I think

Sarah:

But the rules are the same. Right?

Mark:

Like, there's Yeah.

Sarah:

They call it the the couchon or something. Yes. Like, the there's the the tiny ball that everybody's trying to get close to.

Mark:

Which is usually white in But you don't roll it. You toss it. Yeah. You usually toss it. This is more rolling, and it's called rinks and ends like in curling.

Mark:

It's very curling like. I think what happened was some Scots people came to England and were like

Sarah:

We got no ice. We got

Mark:

we don't have any ice. So they made this game

Sarah:

up. I guess we'll just have to make a perfect lawn like we do for that golf game we invented. I guess. Or this hole's too easy. Let's make it a different game.

Sarah:

It's so flat. Yeah. Yeah, I keep waiting for one of the old people to fall into the bowling rink, because there's like a foot like a one foot drop into the actual place where you roll the balls.

Mark:

Well and also watching professional bowlers all week, they do a thing that none of the bowlers do here, which is like a kind of stumble after they release the ball. It's part of the follow through, and they kinda look a little drunk. Bowlers do that.

Sarah:

Yeah. Good bowlers, if you're right handed, you throw your left your right foot like way behind your left foot. Yeah. And you kind of throw yourself off balance a little bit Yeah. In a very controlled way.

Sarah:

And that's how they get that awesome spin that makes the ball look like it's going a different direction than it is.

Mark:

I know Ollie has race track doing his experiments, but if you put in bowl's scientific diagram into your Google, these people take it very seriously.

Sarah:

There's a reason why they charge hundreds of dollars per ball.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Right? They're really engineered.

Mark:

And the balls are kind of oblong. They have they have a flattish side to them, which is allows them to fall over.

Sarah:

They have pretty patterns carved

Mark:

in Yeah. And that that's the best shot is when you can get close to the jack

Sarah:

And then it over. That little bit more. Yes. Well, missus Bullard apparently is one of the officials. Yes.

Sarah:

She shows up out of nowhere. We

Mark:

did not catch this at first and had to go back and look at it, but definitely

Sarah:

She's in the credits. She's missus Bullard. So she should be doctor Bullard. Yes. Because she's a doctor.

Sarah:

Even retired, she's still a doctor. Where's her husband?

Mark:

He's dead. Oh, that's right.

Sarah:

Did she kill him?

Mark:

No. She didn't kill him.

Sarah:

It's like, did I miss that

Mark:

episode somehow?

Sarah:

Was it a special? No. George gets killed?

Mark:

All the bowling in this episode is absolutely right on except for the very last shot, which they measure in the championship game. They move the balls then.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Other than that, everything else is right on.

Sarah:

They move them off off camera so that they can declare the winner the winner? Yep. Okay.

Mark:

And there are two teams,

Sarah:

the oldie olds and the youngie youngs. The oldie olds aren't even oldie olds. No. They're not even It's just Archie. Yes.

Sarah:

Peter Davison who's an oldie old.

Mark:

So the oldies are Archie, Hot to Trot, and the handyman.

Sarah:

Archie, Ruth, the doctor, and Dale, her boyfriend.

Mark:

And Young is big head, Hot

Sarah:

to Trot's daughter, and coffee mate. Lucas, Chloe, and Ollie. Mhmm. Who is, yes, big head. That actor who plays Ollie, his name is Henry Lawful.

Sarah:

He's a good actor, and he normally looks totally normal, totally fine.

Mark:

A very good looking young man.

Sarah:

But he needs bangs. It's bangs that makes the difference.

Mark:

Wow. He's got a big head.

Sarah:

What do they call it? They call it a fringe. A fringe. He needs a fringe.

Mark:

That that Anorak needs a fringe.

Sarah:

When he has a fringe, he looks absolutely fine. He's a handsome young man. Without it Yeah. He's got a five head. It's not a four head.

Sarah:

It's a five head. Mega Mind is what I have in my notes. It looks like Mega Mind.

Mark:

And look at who's driven in into the parking lot, but mister fancy pants. How do we know he's mister fancy pants? Drives a BMW, and he gets out and he leans on his car.

Sarah:

He has a leather jacket.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And Salt and pepper hair. It's not just salt and pepper, Mark. He has a streak. Only the most sophisticated older gentleman Yes. Has a silver streak in his That's that's what you need.

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

I don't have one

Sarah:

of That's how you look distinguished.

Mark:

I have a streak of white that covers the

Sarah:

size of head. The murder happens in broad daylight, though everybody keeps saying good evening for it. Like, is it is it high summer where it does the sun not set it in England anymore? I don't know

Mark:

what time

Sarah:

it's that supposed to be.

Mark:

Area, the sun would not set till 08:30, 09:00.

Sarah:

Okay. So But I would expect this bowling match to happen outside of work hours. Yeah. So 06:00? Maybe.

Sarah:

Shouldn't it look a bit twilighty?

Mark:

I think it should, but maybe the drone shots didn't work when it was twilight.

Sarah:

Because it looks like noon.

Mark:

Yes, it looks like noon.

Sarah:

And everybody has just left the bowling club. Like, the match has just ended. Everybody's leaving. Wilf, who has been the referee, is still there, I guess, kind of tidying up a little bit,

Mark:

checking There's balls still on the rinks, which I agree with Barnaby who says somebody should have cleaned those up.

Sarah:

Who would leave them? I And when they're that expensive. But he's I mean, it's like minutes after everybody's left. Yeah. We spoil it.

Sarah:

Okay? Jack, who's the killer, has just left in a car with his wife. But now he's magically back.

Mark:

He uses he uses two things. He uses the outhouse teleporter. Now, for our American friends, Outhouse means an outbuilding or a shed.

Sarah:

Not an outside toilet. Not an outside toilet. He uses the shed teleporter?

Mark:

Every time they said outhouse I kinda went. Second of all, he puts on his dark man outfit. He's got, like, a robe. He has a robe. It's coat.

Mark:

It's a Cody robe.

Sarah:

It's a coat.

Mark:

With a big hood.

Sarah:

What it reminds me of are the coats that we used to wear when I was on the swim team, because they assume

Mark:

that So you're going to be

Sarah:

it's a long sleeved, hooded, zip up from mid calf all the way up to your neck coat. But it's like gray, dark purple. It's very dark. It's the same dark as his pants. And and he's got gloves on, which he should because, you know, he's crazy, but he's not gonna leave fingerprint.

Mark:

So Wolf is in the center of the green, and then he teleports to the outhouse and then teleports right up behind him.

Sarah:

Yeah. With a ball in his hand, rolls the ball past Wolf. Yes. Which like a dog, he goes,

Mark:

then he

Sarah:

kicks his cane out from underneath him.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Because he's mean. I mean, he's a killer. He's mean, obviously. But that's really mean.

Mark:

He's insane because he has to, like the Riddler or Joker, involve bowling in all of his killings.

Sarah:

No. Just this one.

Mark:

No.

Sarah:

No. Well, that's true. No. No. He leave he has the balls in the woods.

Mark:

He has the balls in the woods.

Sarah:

If Will's had his

Mark:

And help he rolls his ball behind his father, by the way. He kidnaps his father.

Sarah:

Yeah. That's later. So he is Joker. Yeah. Okay.

Sarah:

If Wolf has his own teeth, would putting that ball in his mouth break all of his teeth?

Mark:

I do not think you could get that ball in his teeth without breaking his jaw first.

Sarah:

Wow. So what do you think they're actually doing when they film that?

Mark:

Like there is a ball front that Wolf puts in his mouth.

Sarah:

But you see the ball No, no. Go towards his face. Yes. And then they swap it out with a ball that's already in his mouth. Yes.

Sarah:

That maybe is squishy. Yes. And smaller.

Mark:

And just the front.

Sarah:

Yeah. So he can breathe around it. Because he can't breathe around it because well, he can until the calipers are up his nose.

Mark:

Well, he probably, if I was doing this as a production person

Sarah:

It'd be a half ball.

Mark:

It would be a half ball that I built a teeth grip into so that he had something to hold onto so it wouldn't move around.

Sarah:

Like a whiffle ball. Yeah. Yeah, like a plastic one.

Mark:

Yeah, like had a ledge where I could put my teeth on.

Sarah:

Yeah, like when you go to the dentist and they prop your mouth open.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And Or maybe if he doesn't have his own teeth, he could just take his teeth out. They could put the teeth on the ball, and then he could just put his teeth in his mouth with the ball attached to him already. I mean, that may be the benefit of having a full set of dentures.

Mark:

But then the calipers come out.

Sarah:

You see these teeth? These are the teeth I wore when I was on midsummer. They attached the ball to them cause that's how I got Now

Mark:

I see, like those red, white, and blue balls that are made of sponge rubber that have the string on them coming in and out of his mouth.

Sarah:

See, was imagining the jar that old people keep their teeth in, but his bed don't fit because they got a big ball shoved in them. So he can't can't use his denture cleaner jar.

Mark:

You know

Sarah:

what he like this all the time because he can't close his mouth.

Mark:

What he needs to help with that ball is some calipers. Calipers.

Sarah:

So Why does Jack do this? Oh. Why? It is so psychotic to shove calipers up somebody's nose into their brain.

Mark:

Now, I'm looking at a picture of bowling calipers. Mhmm. Okay? They're specific bowling calipers. These days,

Sarah:

no one uses calipers. Laser.

Mark:

They use lasers and all sorts of things. Yeah. Right? The bottom of the calipers. The tips.

Mark:

Are not pointed. Oh. They are flared out so that you can use them to touch the ball gently.

Sarah:

Without moving it.

Mark:

Without moving it.

Sarah:

Flared out how much?

Mark:

Two or three millimeters.

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

But they are not a pointed end. That's what I'm going for.

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

And he rams them up his face.

Sarah:

Would they fit in your nostrils?

Mark:

They would fit in your nostrils. Oh.

Sarah:

I don't know which is worse, the dull ones or the pointy ones. Give me the pointy ones. Get it over with if you're going to do it. I don't want you to have to hit them with another bowling ball to knock them in to break oh, breakthrough. Oh, oh, oh.

Sarah:

It's just wacky, and it's cruel, and it's way over the top for his purposes. Clearly,

Mark:

there is a writer who thought about this.

Sarah:

No. There's a writer who was carrying something close to calipers like a pair of tongs and tripped and thought, woah, I'm glad those tongs didn't go up my nose. Wait a minute. What if something tong like could go up your nose? Okay.

Sarah:

And yes, we see Peter Davison, who you might recognize as the last detective. Also Doctor Who. Doctor Who. And he was also in season twelve episode three of Midsommar, Secrets and Spies. Yes.

Mark:

He played a horrible human being in that episode.

Sarah:

He's also David Tennant, another Doctor Who's Yes. Father-in-law in real life.

Mark:

Yes. I was wondering where I saw him first, which was probably the Magnum PI that he was in. He was in a Magnum PI while he was in Doctor Who.

Sarah:

Is he 12?

Mark:

No, no. He plays a UK detective, think.

Sarah:

Oh la la.

Mark:

And then, of course, I remember seeing on TV Ontario, Not Something Wicked This Way Comes, All Creatures Great and Small.

Sarah:

Yeah. He was in that.

Mark:

Yes. Yeah. So

Sarah:

He's just a good actor.

Mark:

He

Sarah:

is. I've always thought he was handsome.

Mark:

He definitely has a a unique look about him.

Sarah:

And he's not like this character at all.

Mark:

No. No. Archie. Arr.

Sarah:

His name's almost an onomatopoeia for the face Archie. For the face he makes in his episode. Archie.

Mark:

Did you notice that his son's name is Jackson Pollock?

Sarah:

No. It is, isn't it?

Mark:

It is. It's Jack Pollock.

Sarah:

It's Jack Pollock. You're right. That's a little nudge, isn't it?

Mark:

It's a little nudge.

Sarah:

Considering he steals a painting.

Mark:

He's all mouth and no trousers. That is the line of the episode.

Sarah:

Archie is over concerned about his status as a bowler, to say the least. He's clearly prioritized his status as a bowler the majority of his life, much to the regret of his family.

Mark:

I absolutely understand, and I do agree with you. What I don't agree with is my dad didn't love me, so now I must embezzle money and kill and kidnap him.

Sarah:

Maybe the kidnapping part. Maybe. Just to teach him a lesson. Maybe. But not the calipers upside his nose part.

Mark:

Yes. And I must leave my calling card of bowling balls because I'm the riddler.

Sarah:

Who is he trying to frame? I don't know. A crazy bowler? His dad?

Mark:

He needed Barnaby needed to be like Batman villain? The bowler.

Sarah:

Dresses all in white. Yep. Meanwhile, Betty is doing a maths challenge for school.

Mark:

Okay. This math challenge is incredibly difficult and you don't do it at home.

Sarah:

No. You don't do it at home.

Mark:

No. Because you can just look up stuff.

Sarah:

One of our well, no. Not British children. Uh-oh. They don't cheat, Mark.

Mark:

Oh, sorry.

Sarah:

Unlike American children, they follow the rules. One of our questions is where does Barnaby do his math?

Mark:

Yes. He's he's he comes down the stairs.

Sarah:

With notes in hand having done Yes. And I don't suppose he was sitting on his bed.

Mark:

I think it's heavily implied that he Was in the bathroom. Was thinking in the bathroom.

Sarah:

Yes. I think that too. Yes. As you mentioned, the math challenge that this is referring to is something that they do in UK schools. It's kind of a fun thing, but it's not a take home.

Sarah:

You do it in a room. There is an invigilator

Mark:

An invigilator.

Sarah:

And a booklet that says, do not open until the invigilator tells you that you can open it. And you have to turn in your scrap paper and everything. I looked at sample exams from the past that they provide online for study guides. Okay. And I have a

Mark:

question for you. Okay. I'm ready for this question.

Sarah:

Let me be clear. This is from the same year that Betty, Betty Barnaby would be in.

Mark:

Okay. Now, I will remind the audience. I have not taken a math class since tenth grade in Canada. What? When I was 15.

Sarah:

Are math classes in Canada different? Maybe. Are they all about moose or something?

Mark:

Special metric numbers. We only learn how to move Well, a

Sarah:

I've chosen a question that isn't a geometry question that you have to see and calculate, Okay?

Mark:

Okay, I'm ready.

Sarah:

Now, the whole idea of this is that these are not supposed to be little challenges that rely on rote stuff that can drill or something. This is not your exam in class. This is like if you're really into math and you're kind of nerdy about it, this is a fun thing.

Mark:

It's Sherlock's Math Desk. Exactly. Okay.

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

I'm

Sarah:

ready. So here's the question.

Mark:

I'm scared of this.

Sarah:

40 furry ferrets weigh the same as 50 fit ferrets. 45 fit ferrets weigh the same as 54 friendly ferrets. How many friendly ferrets weigh the same as 50 furry ferrets? I did not expect you to answer the question, but I thought it was fun to read. 40 furry ferrets weigh the same as 50 fit ferrets.

Sarah:

45 fit ferrets weigh the same as 54 friendly ferrets. How many friendly ferrets weigh the same as 50 furry ferrets?

Mark:

Anoria, what did you get on question seven? The ferret one.

Sarah:

75. 75 fit ferrets weigh the same as 54 furry ferrets, friendly ferrets. I would say Why does a friendly ferret weigh something different than a fit one or a furry one? Do not know. Is furry a euphemism for fat?

Mark:

I think so.

Sarah:

Then shouldn't it be 50 fat ferrets?

Mark:

Fat furry ferrets.

Sarah:

Why are they just furry? Just call them fat.

Mark:

I am definitely the kid who was like, you're on a train that going between blank and blank, and this train is going ring, ring, and blank. And I was like, I'm going to Chicago.

Sarah:

Where's the train going? What class is my seat in? Are there snacks? What will we pass?

Mark:

I didn't really care how long it took me to get there. How many stops are there? Chicago.

Sarah:

Will I be away from home for a very long time? Because I would like that. I don't care how fast we go. As long as it's away.

Mark:

So there's a general joke that Winter, missus Barnaby, and Betty

Sarah:

Are in on the trip.

Mark:

Are way ahead of Barnaby.

Sarah:

Yeah. And they're humoring him. Yeah. This episode is set in Midsummer Devil. Yes.

Sarah:

I consulted my spreadsheet. Yes. We have been in Midsummer Devil before. Oh, we have? Yes.

Sarah:

We have. Twice before.

Mark:

Which twice?

Sarah:

We were there in season four Garden of Death. Oh. That's the one where there's a memorial garden Yeah. That's being dug up

Mark:

In Barnaby's.

Sarah:

To put a tea shop in.

Mark:

Selling hooch to the teenager.

Sarah:

Yes. That's with the Inkpin Thomas family. I always remember Inkpin. I remember the one lady dies from eating the green pasta in her bedroom.

Mark:

Yes. Yeah. Somebody, made mention of that on the subreddit the other day. They were like, somebody ate something green and died. Can you help me with that episode?

Sarah:

Force fed poisoned pasta is my method of death in this spreadsheet. There was also a suffocation with a pillow and hit with a shovel in that episode. Mhmm. So Midsommar Deverall's kind of known for some gruesome ways. The other episode is The Animal Within, which is in season ten.

Sarah:

That's the one where the American niece comes back to find her long lost uncle missing and he's dead in the river. Yes. She's like, I'm American.

Mark:

And we find out the old lady is actually in the sex pot.

Sarah:

Yes. There's somebody who's hit on the head and drowned in two stabbings in that episode. So, you know, for fifteen seasons, it's been quiet in Midsummer Devil.

Mark:

Not now.

Sarah:

No. Now the Joker's there.

Mark:

Well, that's the other thing. The bowler. I like about this. I do like covering Brokenwood, but they don't kill many people. No.

Sarah:

The body count's too low.

Mark:

The body count is too low.

Sarah:

After we return to the scene because Guelph has been killed, we have another watch like a maniac question.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Which is who are the men in black outside of the impenetrable fence around the bowling club? I don't know why they have that giant privacy fence.

Mark:

It is the iron curtain of bulls.

Sarah:

Apparently, there's two guys dressed in black suits standing next to a silver van.

Mark:

And the van says?

Sarah:

Ambulance. Private. Private ambulance. Yes. They're there to take the body away.

Mark:

Yes. Yeah.

Sarah:

That's who they are. They're undertakers. But But I like

Mark:

imagine that right away, they're either men in black or the other investigation team.

Sarah:

They're m I five.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Because because Wolf was like a spy during World War two or something like that. Those calipers were rare, Bletchley Park calipers Something. Shoved up his nose. We're here to investigate. Why does Jenny do her yoga club at the bowling club?

Mark:

I have a question about that. Okay. So what I think is because that's special grass, and it is special grass

Sarah:

Yeah. It is.

Mark:

It would be okay to do yoga on if you wanted to do yoga outside. Personally, I don't have a a love or a need to do yoga outside. I like to kind of do it in a controlled environment.

Sarah:

But aren't you on a mat no matter where you do it? They have mats.

Mark:

Most of the time. But I I can imagine if you're doing certain yoga moves, it would feel more comfortable being on that super thick crushed grass. It would be fun.

Sarah:

Yeah. It'd be better than accidentally putting your mat over like a root and having to lay on it or something.

Mark:

So her class is two people.

Sarah:

Yeah. There's

Mark:

that. Like why isn't Sarah Barnaby in that class?

Sarah:

I don't know but it's called the Don Chorus. The Don Chorus. And Jack is there taking pictures of her posing in front of bowlers. I I don't I don't get it. Like, why don't you take pictures during the class when it's just her and other yoga people?

Sarah:

Maybe. Let's talk about Ruth. Okay. Ruth the doctor. Yes.

Sarah:

Also human yellow pages.

Mark:

Ruth is exposition on steroids. Yeah.

Sarah:

She just like Barnaby asked her one question and she goes, here's the history of everybody who lives in this village.

Mark:

In that first scene, she just goes exposition, exposition, exposition, and I'm like, the numbers don't add up on the sign behind her. Let me take 20 pictures of that.

Sarah:

And I'm thinking, do they not have HIPAA laws there? Because she's like, oh, yeah, Wolf had high blood pressure, and I prescribed him statins and beta blockers and blah blah blah blah. Like, are there no privacy laws Yeah. That you just spill everybody's medical history?

Mark:

Yeah. Ruth, the other thing I noticed was, did you notice behind her are a number of pictures of people from the episode?

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

But also there are books for sale. Why are there books for sale at the lawn bowling place?

Sarah:

I don't know.

Mark:

And board games for sale.

Sarah:

They're selling board games?

Mark:

Yes. Okay. I don't know why.

Sarah:

Bowling board games?

Mark:

I don't know.

Sarah:

Or just like random board games?

Mark:

Random board games. This this is clearly an actual bowling establishment. Yes. So, obviously, they were like, yeah, leave that stuff there. Yeah.

Mark:

But I thought it was interesting that the books were for sale.

Sarah:

Well, something else that's there that I hope was already there because otherwise, I don't know why they would have put it there was one of our Watch Like a Maniac questions. We asked about three yellow striped objects, the first one is in the bowling club. It is a giant, very happy bee.

Mark:

He's extremely happy. It's huge. Got a big smile on his face. It's like a little statue. It's maybe a foot high.

Sarah:

But it's, like, round. Like, maybe it's a bowling ball painted like a bee. And he's very happy. Yeah. He's happy about a bee.

Sarah:

That brick troubles me.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

There's a, like, a corner in that room where they're standing doing that interview, and Ruth is spilling her guts about everybody. And

Mark:

The best part is the best part of that brick is I know exactly what brick you mean. Yeah. Because And all the other maniacs listening to our to us go, oh my gosh. They noticed the brick.

Sarah:

That bothered me too. It's like it they does it's not a 45 degree angle where these two walls meet. Nope. And and the bricks are just stacked, and then there's a gap on every other road.

Mark:

There's just gap, and I hate it so much.

Sarah:

It looks like a cheese grater if you walked past it and bumped into it. Like, it would just take a chunk out of you.

Mark:

Uh-huh. Mister fancy pants is gonna rip his fancy pants off of me. It's that.

Sarah:

Well, you know me. I'm I'm traumatized now. Guys, I'm so stupid. The other morning, I don't know how I manage this. I was getting out of bed just like you do, getting out of bed, and I hit my knee on the sharp corner of my bedside table, which is up at the head of the bed where a bedside table should be and not where you dismount from the bed.

Sarah:

No. I don't know how my leg got up there. No. But the corner of this wooden bedside table hit me right on the kneecap so hard that I couldn't speak for a few minutes.

Mark:

It was not it was not good.

Sarah:

And then had to check it to make sure there were no chunks of knee meat stuck to the bedside table because I hit it so hard. I gouged my knee. I've got a giant bruise. Yep. When I was watching the episode again and I saw those bricks, I'm like, those are probably filled with knee meat for people walking by.

Sarah:

It would just grate you. I don't think it's up to code is what I'm saying. Think I think any good mason would have put a fragment of a brick, would have cut the corner of a brick and fit it in there.

Mark:

I agree. Let us go to another stab another abode, which is Mister Fancy Pants Abode. Or how I like to call it, the Hall Of Science. Harry's house? Harry's Hall Of Science.

Sarah:

Where his son is into physics but the house is full of chemistry stuff?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Ah, okay.

Mark:

I'm with you. You picked up on that.

Sarah:

Yeah. Like the periodic table on an easel over in the corner.

Mark:

And all the molecules on the table. He picks one up.

Sarah:

But Ollie's into the multiverse.

Mark:

Now, this man is an architect turned developer.

Sarah:

Yes. So he should

Mark:

have totally understand why he has a house like this.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

He should have elevations of that house all over the house.

Sarah:

All I know is I wanted to spill a lot of Kool Aid in there.

Mark:

There we go.

Sarah:

It was too white. I was just like, can I leave fingerprints on everything? And Can I leave knee meat on the corner of your counter?

Mark:

And we'll get to this at the end. But mister fancy pants and his son You mean Flash Harry? Sorry. Flash Harry and his son are victims and do nothing wrong in this episode. No.

Mark:

No. But we immediately dislike him.

Sarah:

Ollie's strange, but he's not a bad person.

Mark:

But he's applying himself. Absolutely. And he gets involved in things and gets teams together Yep. And gets out of I'm sorry.

Sarah:

Soapbox dismount, gets out of the house.

Mark:

Gets out of the house.

Sarah:

He's applying his love of physics to his love of bowling. Yes. His dad's supportive of that so much so that he's gonna buy him a bowling club.

Mark:

He goes over and watches him and says to his son

Sarah:

Good job.

Mark:

Good job. And it doesn't matter if you win Right. You're doing great. Yeah. He's a good dad.

Sarah:

The worst thing Harry does is flirt with a married woman. That's the worst thing he does. And when she shuts him down, he accepts it Yep. And moves on. Really, he's kind of boring.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And he has a streak that makes him fancy. Okay. So The other fancy place is Midsummer Mocha. Yes. The coffee shop that is so poncy, nobody wants to go there.

Mark:

It's gigantic first of all. It is. If you're gonna open a coffee shop, a brand new coffee shop, this is your first venture as you spent your entire career traveling the world as a star barista. You laugh, but there are people on YouTube who live this lifestyle.

Sarah:

Oh, I know. They're the new cocktail people. Right?

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

There used to be bartenders who went around.

Mark:

The new cocktail.

Sarah:

What was the name of that movie that Tom Cruise was in where they made the

Mark:

Cocktail.

Sarah:

Oh, that's right. It was called cocktail. You're like, I'm so dumb. That's where I first learned that there were like like five star bartenders who could do fancy tricks and stuff. And now there are baristas who do it.

Sarah:

So And they don't just do things in the foam either.

Mark:

That barista person learned nothing about business while was yes. Yeah. He was like, I'm gonna get my sock hat on.

Sarah:

It's a beanie. It's a mocha beanie. Coffee beanie.

Mark:

I'm gonna get my mocha beanie.

Sarah:

It's also his bowling beanie.

Mark:

I'm gonna get my bowling beanie on and I'm gonna start a coffee shop.

Sarah:

He's a Java junkie. He's a roast ranger.

Mark:

Now, I realize that I see the sense in that person wanting to start and run their own coffee shop.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

I do not see it in midsummer per se, but I also do not see it as, wow, this is a warehouse. Let's let's open up here.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's huge. You open It's custom built to be the coffee shop.

Mark:

It is it is at best a drive by institution. Right? Like, people go, oh, yeah. I'll go for a coffee. It's right there.

Mark:

I'm walking by. I'll get a coffee.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Or I work nearby.

Sarah:

I'll get He should take he should learn from Frodo

Mark:

and get a cart. He should have a cart.

Sarah:

Yeah. That's where you start. Start with a cart.

Mark:

Start with a cart and then move up to a shop on the high street.

Sarah:

Yeah. Or at the bowling club. I guess. He could replace that little creepy blonde woman who works behind the counter

Mark:

at bowling club. Another question we have, there is a creepy blonde lady

Sarah:

who I'm sorry. I'm sure she's a perfectly nice person. She probably lives in the village where they filmed this.

Mark:

Yes. Well

Sarah:

She's an extra. All she does is clean glasses, but she's back there. She's overly tan. Her skin is darker than her hair.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

And she's short and she's in the shadow and she looks a little creepy.

Mark:

The second half of the episode, the championship match has a bunch of people standing in the background. They must all be the people from the bowling club. The real bowling. Who actually bowled that bowling Yeah.

Sarah:

That's who they should have had as extras.

Mark:

Yeah. So I think it's fantastic that they do that. Mhmm.

Sarah:

But yeah, the Midsummer Mocha is an over engineered I I applaud I applaud his drive. He wants to do something.

Mark:

Yes. I do say one positive thing about it and that is that it's neat as opposed to the morgue.

Sarah:

Flora's not keeping a tidy shop, is she?

Mark:

First of all, there shouldn't really be offices or places where you work in where they keep the dead bodies.

Sarah:

Oh, I don't know. There's a glass wall. It's fine. There's cool wallpaper in there. Yes.

Sarah:

What's up with that?

Mark:

But in did you see what was in the foreground?

Sarah:

The tray of disheveled tools?

Mark:

There is easily 40 different tools spread all over the table. Yeah. Not like mold

Sarah:

or anything. No. They're not bloody or dirty or anything. There's no chunks of knee meat all

Mark:

over half in and half out and Yeah. It's haphazard. I'll put a picture in the show notes, but wow.

Sarah:

It's haphazard to say the least. Yeah. But there are two big charts of human bodies on the wall and one of those black lit glass dry erase boards where Fleur can write and no one can read it.

Mark:

Yes. Because

Sarah:

she's trying to figure out

Mark:

And she has to write down in the alphabet what letters go with what numbers, and I'm like, Fleur?

Sarah:

A, one. B, two. J is 10. Work from there. Okay?

Sarah:

You don't ever have to say the alphabet in your head to figure out what comes first. You never get I did What's the twenty third letter of the alphabet? Quick. Now. Now.

Sarah:

Now. Now. W. No. Yes.

Sarah:

I just wanted to see if you're if you're bad mouthing four. No. What's the fifteenth one? See? You'd have to write it down.

Mark:

Oh, because J is 10.

Sarah:

Is it actually O, or did you just say O?

Mark:

J is 10, l is 11.

Sarah:

Okay. Now you're doing it on your fingers.

Mark:

Well, yeah. But I could do that in my head. I don't need to write it on a board.

Sarah:

Yeah. I don't think she'd have to do that to get to the two numbers that were there. Plus, I just wanna write on the it like eight and one? Nigel, pick up

Mark:

your instruments.

Sarah:

Somebody clean up after Fluor. She's on the Costing Cadaver's Quiz Club. Yes. That's a great name for our quiz club.

Mark:

It is indeed a a great name for a quiz team. Did you see what the the young lads

Sarah:

His name's Dale McManus. He's a house clearer, which means when somebody dies, he'll or you're downsizing. They call him an ambulance chaser.

Mark:

And really, what he is is lovejoy.

Sarah:

Ruth's boyfriend.

Mark:

He's Lovejoy mixed with Roy Kent.

Sarah:

From Ted Lasso?

Mark:

Yes. He's he's those two characters put together.

Sarah:

I thought he looked a little bit like the actor who plays Lucifer in that show.

Mark:

Yeah. Know what

Sarah:

I'm talking about?

Mark:

Who's been on Midsommar before. That's true.

Sarah:

He's he's not a bad looking guy, but he does drive that van around looking for things to pick up and resell, I guess.

Mark:

So your friend has died. You have spent decades working with this man on your favorite hobby, and he's died. So what do you do to show your respects for him dying?

Sarah:

Break into his house and steal his drugs? Yes. By starting by rifling around in his kitchen?

Mark:

What why is Go

Sarah:

to the medicine cabinet. Go first.

Mark:

Right to the medicine cabinet.

Sarah:

That's the first place you look.

Mark:

And he finds that there's a picture missing. Now none of this is this is all like, the picture should have been a fish. It is red herringness all

Sarah:

over. Absolutely.

Mark:

Right? Because his son needs money, so he steals the painting to do this. Right?

Sarah:

Jack Jack is in the house when his dad comes in to steal the drugs and hits his own father over the head to knock him out. Yes. He's an old man. He could have killed them.

Mark:

He easily could have killed them.

Sarah:

He wouldn't care because he's a psychopath, caliper nose pusher guy, ball in the dentures.

Mark:

So they all in the dead man's house, they all have this discussion about what happened and Peter Davidson can't remember. And then he gets up to leave because he's gonna go and he has a discussion with his daughter-in-law in kind of this foyer. Mhmm. And if you notice, there's a constable there. Now, for reasons they'll become clear later, I'm really obsessed with what cops wear on the job.

Mark:

Uniformed cops. Uniformed cops. So I paused it to look at this, and then I noticed what the constable was doing. He I and I reviewed. I went back and looked at this.

Mark:

As soon as Peter Davidson walks in the room, he is staring at Peter Davidson the entire time.

Sarah:

Like, what a background actor is not supposed

Mark:

to He he's supposed to just be a constable standing there.

Sarah:

Yeah. He should be staring off into space.

Mark:

He is looking directly at the the only

Sarah:

And can I get your autograph? The only thing is over.

Mark:

The only thing worse is if he was staring directly at the camera. Mhmm. But but he's looking directly at the actors. I thought that was like, woah.

Sarah:

Archie looks in the dishwasher, in the kitchen junk drawer, even rifles around in the kitchen junk drawer. Yep. It's still it it's always strange to me that in England, medications come in in boxes, in blister packs and boxes, like over the counter medication comes here. Yes. It's not in a prescription bottle.

Sarah:

No. It might have a prescription sticker on the outside. Yes. But very few medications here come like that.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And it always just strikes me like you can just buy beta blockers at the pharmacy. Is that what they're No. They're prescription. Plus. They have a big B on them.

Sarah:

Plus. It should have a no across the B like no beta. It's a beta blocker.

Mark:

It is clearly television medicine so that you can see what it is. It's beta blockers.

Sarah:

It's got the big b on it. Then we get a scene that is another watch like a maniac moment. Because when winter goes to Midsummer Mocha, for some reason, he buys a frother. I don't know why he he It's like he feels the prep like feels pressure to buy something while he's there.

Mark:

Like is he missing out or something?

Sarah:

I guess? It's like that pressure you feel if you go into public place to use their bathroom. You feel like, I should buy something. Yes. But he's there on business.

Sarah:

He doesn't have to buy anything.

Mark:

Doesn't have to buy anything.

Sarah:

But he sees the frother, which is very fancy.

Mark:

Now now we said the question we had for Watcher Like a Maniac was what? Who's trading cooties? I don't know if Winter's cooties gets on this.

Sarah:

I know. I noticed that's my third watching. So what we're referring to is Barnaby gives the so Winter gets the frother and gives it to Barnaby, and Barnaby apparently gives it to Sarah. Yes. And Sarah is practicing.

Sarah:

She's up all night frothing. How? Don't know that you need to

Mark:

practice frothing. To froth.

Sarah:

Cause they were up all night doing the math thing. Stayed up late. Needed all the caffeine they could get. Yep. And she thinks she's got it down now.

Sarah:

So she froths something and hands it to Winter, who tastes it and says, oh, that's good. Yes. And sets it down. He and Barnaby walk away. She picks up an identical mug and drinks it and is like, My impression first watching was that she picked up the mug that he just set down, which is why I was like, oh, they're sharing cooties.

Sarah:

He just drank from that mug, now she's going to drink it. But when I rewatched it a couple more times, her hand goes a little bit off to the side. She might be picking up a different mug that just looks the same.

Mark:

And it is possible that she might have a set of mugs where two of them look the same.

Sarah:

Because some people have matching mugs, unlike us who have an entire cabinet full of random weird mugs. Do not have matching mugs. No two are the same. No. And only two of them do I like.

Sarah:

I should get rid of like 20 mugs. Anyway, I'm not sure. But it seems a waste for his coffee to just sit there. But maybe they don't share cooties. Maybe they don't share cooties.

Sarah:

If they did, it wouldn't be that bad. So we've done who's trading cooties. We've done who's the creepiest blonde. We've done where does Barnaby do his math. We've done who are the men in black.

Sarah:

I think we've hit all the questions that we asked to watch like a maniac. And we no. We have one more. Fab. We'll get this.

Mark:

Before we get to Fab, we should probably deal with the second murder. Yeah. Which is a comedy of errors. So we see Harry. Harry at the woods.

Mark:

Show up at the woods.

Sarah:

I got a text from Jenny. She finally wants to meet with me.

Mark:

And then Molly's. Then we don't see anything of Harry's face. Right. And we find out that it's Dale. Low rent lovejoy

Sarah:

gets killed

Mark:

by dropping like, okay. How did he know it was there? How were there keys in it? Why would they have trees?

Sarah:

Yeah. Because Jack doesn't work for Midsummer Forestry Commission. There

Mark:

there's so many He can hot wire a log with this. And he

Sarah:

he he puts the ball and the Jack down and To lure Harry into the clearing where he can drop the logs on him, but it's Dale.

Mark:

Foiled It's Dale because he was kinda gonna blackmail somebody sorta, but Dale's kinda innocent too.

Sarah:

The worst thing Dale's doing is blackmailing Lucas over the coffee secret. Yeah. Over his non global roasted in the greenhouse coffee.

Mark:

We'll get to Libby and her non existent doc.

Sarah:

What puzzles me about this murder is that two two or three big logs fall from the log loader onto But when they find his body, his legs are up over one of them and I don't know how that would happen. Unless he was like, they started to fall and he was like, maybe I can jump them. Is

Mark:

a valid death, but it's a comedy of errors right from the very beginning.

Sarah:

Because Jack was trying to kill Harry.

Mark:

Yes. Would he not hear the machine being on? Those machines are big.

Sarah:

Oh, maybe he didn't turn it on.

Mark:

Then how did the logs get released?

Sarah:

Maybe he climbed up to the top and he was waiting right behind the logs and he just shoved them off. You don't think that's right? No. You don't think that Jack is up there with his arms and legs wrapped around the crane and is just getting ready to like just just shove them.

Mark:

And this comes after the championship match. Yes. Which is kind of irrelevant, but Ollie wins.

Sarah:

It's just another chance for Archie to go.

Mark:

So Archie becomes Popeye when

Sarah:

he loses. Yeah. He's He does that one-sided.

Mark:

He's so upset he becomes Popeye. I'll put a show a picture in the show notes, but he So everybody leaves. Dale gets killed, and they talk to doctor Hottetrott.

Sarah:

Mhmm. Ruth.

Mark:

And this is a quality scene.

Sarah:

With her daughter Chloe because She Ruth has been dating Dale, but didn't really want anybody to know because she was embarrassed when her husband left off with some fluzy.

Mark:

Before the the championship match, Dale opens up to her, says basically, I love you. Yeah. I want this to work. I want us to be public.

Sarah:

You're awesome. This isn't a short term thing. I'm not using you. I'm serious.

Mark:

She checks and makes sure he's not, you know, winding her up or anything. They're happy. And then he gets killed. Yeah. And she is honestly distraught.

Mark:

And then she says, you know, I didn't want the village to know because there was an age discrepancy. And her daughter said, well, it's not that much. And she said, well, I really just didn't want to be the center of the tension in the village anymore. Which is the real reason why she did

Sarah:

it. Mhmm.

Mark:

And her daughter said it doesn't it doesn't matter. I love you no matter what.

Sarah:

And he's dead now, so who cares? Like, it's okay, mom. He's dead. So it's okay.

Mark:

Like, that is real resolution. Yeah. It is. Good.

Sarah:

It's a good scene.

Mark:

It's not overly dramatic.

Sarah:

But unfortunately, he's dead. Fortunately, he's dead. He is squashed like Frogger.

Mark:

Yes. He gets Frogger.

Sarah:

They Okay. So so Harry has gone to the woods.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And Dale has magically dressed up just like Harry for no reason and been killed by accident. So then, of course, Winter and Barnaby go to Jenny and Jax to say, did you text Harry to meet him in the woods? Which she denies. And I noticed something in their kitchen that made me crazy.

Mark:

Their well, their kitchen has a couple of interesting things. Not only the Joker. That

Sarah:

those are all the that's the place of all of Jack's scenes of denial.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Where he's like, oh, my dad's been kidnapped, and oh, this person's been killed. Yeah, you did it.

Mark:

You did it

Sarah:

all, Jerk face. Is a rack there. Yes. A vertical rack that holds pots.

Mark:

That has

Sarah:

five flame orange Le Creuset

Mark:

Yes. On it.

Sarah:

Do you want to guess how much five graduated Dutch ovens from Le Creuset would cost you.

Mark:

I looked at that and went, that's expensive.

Sarah:

You want to guess?

Mark:

£500.

Sarah:

3,000. Wow. For a set of five like that.

Mark:

Maybe you should not be setting up trusts in Turks and Tacos.

Sarah:

Yeah. You know, maybe you could just sell off your fancy pots that you're clearly not using because they're all sitting there in a display stand. Yep. Who needs five Dutch ovens of different sizes?

Mark:

So Jack is

Sarah:

having Says Sarah, who's incredibly jealous, who would love to have five Dutch ovens of graduated size. It would be nice. But And the and the orange ones are so pretty. We have two. They're not Le Creuset.

Sarah:

No. I'm sorry.

Mark:

They're not Le Creuset.

Sarah:

They're Lodge. Yeah. They I bought them at Kroger. Yes. If anybody wants to send me a Le Creuset, they can.

Mark:

Let's go through Jack's thinking. He has embezzled and spent and wasted a bunch of investments from the old bowling player and hidden it in his accounts.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

He has stolen a painting.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

He has killed Wolf.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

He has accidentally killed Lovejoy.

Sarah:

He meant to kill somebody. Yeah. It wasn't an accident. He just killed the wrong person.

Mark:

He killed Dale instead of killing Harry.

Sarah:

He also bashed his dad on the head so hard he knocked him out.

Mark:

Wait. I'm I'm working up to yeah. Yes. Okay. So he bashed his dad so hard he knocked him out and freaked out the constable.

Sarah:

Then he

Mark:

kidnapped You're his like, wait a minute, kidnapping. That's what I'll do because now I have Dale's truck.

Sarah:

Yeah. The dead guy's van. I know.

Mark:

That everybody know, Like, it's a small town. Everybody knows who drives everybody's vehicle.

Sarah:

Especially that one. It's like got his business name on the side. It's not just like a white panel van.

Mark:

I remember when I first started to drive and I would drive my father's vehicle into town, I would get waves and horns honked and all sorts, hey girl, how you doing? Oh, it's not you, it's your sister's son.

Sarah:

Like He's on a back road, I guess, driving into the woods.

Mark:

I I guess? The the timing here is really weird.

Sarah:

The real giveaway is Archie's signature thermos.

Mark:

Yes. His bowling world's greatest bowler. His thermos. His thermos.

Sarah:

Which he seems to never be without. He always has his thermos back.

Mark:

Maybe we should have winter lick this Thermos. Lick this coffee on the ground. No.

Sarah:

He's put a burlap sack over his dad's head and shoved him into the back of the van and parked it in the woods because he's so desperate for money. Yeah. So he wanted to kill Harry just because he thought Harry was after his wife. Right?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

I still don't understand why Will's death has to be so extreme. Can't involve bowling. He's an old guy. He could have easily killed him in his home and made it look like an accident or like he died of natural causes.

Mark:

Beta blockers with something else. Yes. Hit him in his home. Yeah. Like, you hit his dad in his home.

Sarah:

Shove him down the stairs. Oh. I don't know. It's that would be easy. But, no, calipers up the nose.

Sarah:

I mean, long story short, Jack is in a hole and just digging it deeper and deeper and deeper in really dumb ways.

Mark:

And the question you have to ask yourself is, what does this have to do with the coffee shop in Libby?

Sarah:

Nothing. Nothing?

Mark:

No. Libby's story is interesting and heartbreaking and wasted on a red herring.

Sarah:

Yeah. But she does have a nice tea cozy.

Mark:

She has a fantastic tea cozy.

Sarah:

Which is one of our watch like a maniac moments when we ask about three stripy things, three yellow stripy things. There is the bee. Libby's fantastic tea cozy. Yes. And then the third thing is Fleurs shirt at the end.

Sarah:

We'll talk about it when we get there.

Mark:

Now you noticed something else about Libby's house.

Sarah:

Well, first of all, Libby's house is fantastic.

Mark:

It's Well,

Sarah:

it's a multi million

Mark:

dollar house.

Sarah:

Beautiful thatched cottage.

Mark:

Yep. And gorgeous gardens and

Sarah:

Well, she should have nice house. She should have those things. She's a horticulturist. Yep. I guess.

Sarah:

She's escaped from a bad marriage and changed her name Yep. And brought money with her.

Mark:

I guess. Yes.

Sarah:

She has a little plaque in her home that says, the dog's not been fed.

Mark:

The dog's not been fed.

Sarah:

I don't know what that's supposed to mean.

Mark:

She has no dog?

Sarah:

That we know of. No. No? Maybe she bought it furnished and that was already there.

Mark:

Maybe it's code that she uses with Beanie Boy. No.

Sarah:

If the beans haven't been roasted,

Mark:

the dog snaps not been fed. Put your finger on

Sarah:

the side of your nose. Yeah. Yeah.

Mark:

So dad's kidnapping gets faked. I love how the final scene rolls out with everything coming out except for doctor who who's stuck in the

Sarah:

van Yeah.

Mark:

The whole time.

Sarah:

They're having this whole, like, revealing all while Jack has a knife to Harry's throat. Yep. And then when that's all resolved, somebody's like, oh, yeah. Archie. Oh, he's probably in that van over there.

Sarah:

We should probably get him out. He's in the back going, get me out of here. We we did have Where's my thermos?

Mark:

We did have a a great moment, a great Sarah moment, where when he puts his knife on Harry's throat, you have to wonder, where are you going with this?

Sarah:

Yeah. What do you think is gonna happen, Jack? Do you think you're gonna get away? I know. I'll slit his throat and then run for it.

Sarah:

They'll never catch me.

Mark:

What? And there's two of them.

Sarah:

Or I'm going to live the rest of my life with this knife to Harry's throat. I'll never have to pee or eat or answer the phone or anything. I can hold my knife to his throat forever.

Mark:

I'm going to sit in my kitchen and complain about my life with my throat my knife

Sarah:

to I Harry's think Harry's gonna have an opinion about this.

Mark:

Harry's gonna need to go to the bathroom too.

Sarah:

They're gonna sleep.

Mark:

Yeah. At some point.

Sarah:

And he's gonna whack him with one of those le crusade lids.

Mark:

Wham o.

Sarah:

Jack has not thought this through.

Mark:

No.

Sarah:

He's thrown his life away. It it's just Completely. It's so dumb.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

His wife genuinely cares about him.

Mark:

Who does nothing wrong. Nothing. Nothing wrong.

Sarah:

She loves him. Yep. She doesn't want to be with Harry.

Mark:

Doesn't wanna be with Harry.

Sarah:

There's never even tempting.

Mark:

You had the dream, dude.

Sarah:

Yep. You just you just had some debt. Yep. Declare bankruptcy, sell off your pots and pans If and be fine.

Mark:

If he had taken the time to speak with his father and wife, it would have been a difficult conversation, but two people wouldn't have died.

Sarah:

So many plots are like that. If they had just talked Yes. If they had just taken a page out of Ruth and Chloe's book Yeah. To just have a conversation and be honest Yeah. None of this happens.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

But Archie's still a bad dad. Speaking of bad dads, Barnaby's a bad dad. He lets Betty wear Crocs.

Mark:

Yeah. Betty's in Crocs. I I wasn't pleased about that.

Sarah:

I know. That's a take. That's a hot take. Yeah. Because some people really do like that.

Mark:

They do.

Sarah:

And I've heard they're very comfortable.

Mark:

And like, people who work in kitchens really like them.

Sarah:

I get it. If you're a nurse or you work in a kitchen, I get Yep. But apparently, they're cool with the young people. I see students on campus wearing them. I don't There's those Yeezy Crocs now.

Mark:

Yeezy Crocs? Yeah. They're really ugly. I don't know what Yeezy Crocs

Sarah:

Don't look them up. They're heady. No. Okay. And they pretend to play a match of the bowling game in the backyard and then the dog rolls the ball and Patty's so smart.

Sarah:

Yeah. I like that Betty has a little bit of personality here at the end.

Mark:

The little That she's a wink

Sarah:

and Patty are

Mark:

She's more like Sarah than she is like Barnaby. Yes.

Sarah:

For sure.

Mark:

That's I like that. And one thing I don't like I do like also, sorry, is she's not moon over moon over winter. Like there's none of that.

Sarah:

No. No. She's too young to be mooning over winter. She

Mark:

shouldn't be.

Sarah:

It would be creepy if she was. Yeah. We still have best corpse after the credits, bad movie, and recommendations to do. Okay. We need to put the puddle down.

Sarah:

Best corpse. It's gotta be wealth.

Mark:

It's gotta be wealth, but man

Sarah:

All you see of Dale is legs.

Mark:

Pick up your stuff in the morgue.

Sarah:

Dale's gotta put that I mean, Wolf's gotta put that ball in his mouth.

Mark:

It's got again, that ball accoutrement would have been interesting.

Sarah:

I think they're special ball dentures.

Mark:

Do you think so? Yep. Ball dentures?

Sarah:

Ball dent That's that's what I'm going with. Okay. Yep.

Mark:

Maybe the of the episode right there.

Sarah:

After the credits.

Mark:

Everybody sits around and goes, we did nothing wrong and yet our all our lives are ruined.

Sarah:

How did we not know Jack was so crazy? He's a joker. Harry buys a bowling club, and he's gonna keep it as a bowling club.

Mark:

For his son. Because he's think is great.

Sarah:

What happens, Jack?

Mark:

As an architect, he's gonna fix those bricks.

Sarah:

Hey. Yeah. Those bricks would bother him a lot. They would. That fence would bother him a lot too.

Sarah:

What happens with the coffee shop? Did he get closed down because he pretends to have coffee from Guatemala when he doesn't?

Mark:

I don't like, that's fraud. Yes. By definition.

Sarah:

But you have to make money off of fraud. If he's not selling any coffee, if nobody's buying it, then it's just mislabeling, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, really.

Mark:

Yeah. And again, he should come out and say, we're a coffee shop and a bakery. We're gonna give you some options.

Sarah:

Chloe's picked some some crazy mushrooms. Yes. You can come in here and eat Chloe's mushrooms and drink some coffee.

Mark:

Auction people created a a don't pick the mushroom sign that is beautiful. I wanna appreciate their work. It's on screen for two seconds. Yep. They do a great job.

Sarah:

Yep. Jenny. Poor Jenny.

Mark:

Oh.

Sarah:

Is she gonna have to spend time with Archie now? Is Archie gonna have a revelation? I was a bad dad.

Mark:

I should hate that dad. I'm assuming he's going to kick her out because

Sarah:

I don't know. I I don't know if he's going to have a wake up call like, this is this is the son I created

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

That my behavior created. I should be nicer.

Mark:

And she has to deal with all the debts because even like, if you're

Sarah:

Well, she's gonna divorce his butt right

Mark:

She needs to divorce his butt. And then who should keep fall in love with? Harry's like Slash Harry.

Sarah:

I'm over here. I'm nice. I've always been nice. Know my my giant head. I know my son has a giant head, but he's nice too.

Sarah:

He's very nice. He's really smart. He's gonna go work for NASA.

Mark:

European NASA.

Sarah:

Are you ready for a horrible movie? I'm ready for a horrible

Mark:

Now we haven't had a horrible movie. We did horrible movies on a subject before, but this is an actual horrible movie.

Sarah:

Going back to the actor in this episode has been in a horrible movie. And have you seen it? Yes. So Fraser Hines, who plays Wilf in this episode Yes. Was in a horrible movie

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

That is from 1956. Oh.

Mark:

Now it's British.

Sarah:

The tagline is a radioactive mud like creature terrorizes a Scottish village.

Mark:

Why have I not seen this movie?

Sarah:

It kills but cannot be killed. It rises from 2,000 miles beneath the earth to melt everything in its path.

Mark:

Oh my gosh. This sounds perfect. I know I'm gonna watch this today.

Sarah:

It was supposed to be a follow-up to the quarter main experiment.

Mark:

Okay. So Quartermass experiment.

Sarah:

Quartermass. Sorry.

Mark:

The Quartermass movies are really well known, very good sci fi movies. I may have watched this when I watched the Quartermass experiments.

Sarah:

But it's not a follow-up because they rejected it. And they said that the plot wasn't right.

Mark:

The plot was Okay.

Sarah:

It's called X, the unknown.

Mark:

No, I definitely I've seen X the man with x-ray eyes

Sarah:

No.

Mark:

Which is fantastic.

Sarah:

This is about mud.

Mark:

I have not seen this movie.

Sarah:

This is about a mud monster that gets bigger when it's exposed to energy or radioactive sources and it just gets bigger and

Mark:

So it's like the blob.

Sarah:

It's like the blob.

Mark:

But made of mud.

Sarah:

But it comes from under the ground.

Mark:

And a man.

Sarah:

And it's in Scotland.

Mark:

And it's in oh.

Sarah:

So they're like, ah, look. You got

Mark:

some mud on me, boy. This has been the episode of Horrible

Sarah:

Horrible accents. So that's a point for me because you haven't seen X the unknown.

Mark:

No, not until this afternoon.

Sarah:

What's your recommendation for this week to get through the winter dull breaks?

Mark:

So I have two recommendations, one per completely self serving and one not so self serving. The first self serving one is I have as mentioned in the newsletter this month decided to do some writing and I'm going to release this writing in a serial format. It is cozy detective novels. The information's in the newsletter but

Sarah:

also haven't signed up for the newsletter.

Mark:

But I will put it in the show notes also this week which I have a Substack that is right now just for podcast listeners. And as podcast listeners, you're gonna get the first preview of the first three chapters of both book.

Sarah:

Yeah. Because he's writing two books at once. Everybody who's ever written this and said, how do you guys do so much is now going,

Mark:

oh, what?

Sarah:

He's writing two books at once?

Mark:

You will get the first three chapters of both books a month before anyone else does. Because I love my podcast listeners.

Sarah:

And you're the target audience. Yep. If you like Midsummer and the other shows that we watch together.

Mark:

So if you're interested, the information's in the show notes or just contact me, and I can get you on the list.

Sarah:

I can say I have read both, and they're both very, very good.

Mark:

Oh, that's so nice. Thank you very much.

Sarah:

My recommendation for this week

Mark:

Oh, wait a minute. So so you do your next recommendation.

Sarah:

I'll do it. Okay. Okay. Aren't you glad we figured that out in our sign language? My recommendation for this week, because I like to give people recommendations that are little things that make you feel special, basically.

Sarah:

Like I said to get an advent calendar. I said to try and learn something new that you just want to know more about

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

Want to know how to do

Mark:

The Rev did.

Sarah:

Is to be selective about your writing instruments. Find a brand of pen or pencil that you actually like using and make it your signature thing. Have it. Have it with you

Mark:

and use it. We are definitely these kind of people, not to crazy extent.

Sarah:

No. No.

Mark:

We don't go to the Japanese stationery show. No. But we know it exists.

Sarah:

But I I do like to write my to do list and things by hand. Yes. I find that I remember things better if I write it out

Mark:

by hand. I am a notebook person.

Sarah:

I am a notebook person. And for me, and I'm not saying that everybody should like these, but I like these pencils called Black Wings.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

If for no other reason, then I have slightly arthritic hands, and they're flat at the end, which makes them easier to sharpen because I can actually hold them better. Oh. They have soft lead.

Mark:

They're very nice pencils.

Sarah:

They're beautiful pencils. I have about a dozen of them. Yep. And I use them all the time. Yep.

Sarah:

And they make me very happy to

Mark:

pick up with, these like, different themes and runs and colors and designs.

Sarah:

But it's like, you know, $15 or so for a box of them. Not like crazy for like a dozen. They're not crazy expensive, but they're really good. And they make me happy to write with them. Yeah.

Sarah:

And I'm not saying that that you should all get black wings. I'm just saying have something to write with that you actually like to write with.

Mark:

Be deliberate with your writing instrument. Yeah. Absolutely.

Sarah:

And it's a little thing. It's a cheap thing. But if you have to write or you like to write, it makes you happy.

Mark:

The other recommendation I have is coming up in the February 6 is the Winter Olympics. I am a huge Winter Olympics fan. Canada is usually a medal favorite in most of the Winter Olympics. So, understandably

Sarah:

Why is that?

Mark:

Understandably, I like the Winter Olympics more. It doesn't get as much press and coverage in The United States, but I'm telling you that this is the time to find athletes in your country and start following those stories because there is incredibly interesting, heartwarming stories that are happening because of the Olympics. And I'm gonna point out one of them in particular, which is a young woman whose name is Lila Edwards. She is the first black woman to play USA hockey in the Olympics. Fantastic story.

Mark:

She's from Tennessee. Fantastic. I think that those people should be celebrated, especially right now.

Sarah:

Plus there are really fun crazy sports in the in the Winter Olympics.

Mark:

Oh, yeah.

Sarah:

Like luge and skeleton

Mark:

and There things like are sports that sound like dares.

Sarah:

Okay. Head first this

Mark:

Let's go down this bobsled run on a toboggan. Yeah. Oh, wait. With your buddy. Yes.

Sarah:

Oh, I know. Why not why just go down the hill on our skis when we can launch ourselves off this big ramp?

Mark:

Let's do 50,000 flips while we're active.

Sarah:

Yeah. That'll be fun. You know that snowboard? Yeah. Faster.

Sarah:

Oh,

Mark:

wait. How can we how can we jazz up the cross country skiing? Okay? Shooting. Ski, ski, ski, and then they shoot, shoot, shoot.

Mark:

And then they ski, ski, ski, and then they shoot, shoot, shoot.

Sarah:

You have to ski with the gun.

Mark:

And with the gun.

Sarah:

And dodge animals.

Mark:

No. There's no dodge.

Sarah:

But make friends with the animals. Don't shoot the animals.

Mark:

Yes. So throw away.

Sarah:

Every time I watch, especially Winter Olympics, I just think, how did somebody decide to try that? Yeah. Right? Like, how do you learn?

Mark:

Well, it's the To do that. It's the second guy who does it. Because the first guy, like I said

Sarah:

Is dead.

Mark:

It's a it's a dare. Right?

Sarah:

First mean, like, as an athlete, like, you're if you like to ski Yeah. And then you say, you know, I would like to distinguish myself as a skier. I wanna try the jump. Yeah. I'm sure there are smaller jumps that you start with.

Sarah:

What? And But there's a first time that you go off the big one.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

You gotta do that for the first time.

Mark:

And just you You do hundreds of jumps on smaller ramps.

Sarah:

I'm sure. But just standing at the top of the big one for the first time

Mark:

Oh my gosh. It

Sarah:

must Just just just standing there.

Mark:

It has to sink your stomach.

Sarah:

And saying, I'm about to go down that.

Mark:

I'm I'm about to fly.

Sarah:

And then I'm gonna fly. Yep. And then I'm gonna land. Like, just that's bravery. Yep.

Sarah:

Oh. It's incredible.

Mark:

Well, no. You're protected with a whole bunch of equip no.

Sarah:

You're not.

Mark:

You have a helmet on. Yeah. And a leotard.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

And it's cold. Winter Olympics, I love them. Yeah. It's it's the second person who does any of those events that's amazing because they're sitting there going, I could do that faster.

Sarah:

I see what he did wrong.

Mark:

Yep. I could go faster.

Sarah:

Maybe I'll survive if I try. Next week, maniacs. If you have recommendations that you wanna share, you can send them straight to us via email or instant message or direct message or whatever.

Mark:

People have posted on our subreddit with their recommendations. Post them on the subreddit.

Sarah:

Yep. You know, just start a new thread. Whatever you wanna there's no wrong way to do it, and it benefits everybody.

Mark:

Yep. Next week is the third episode of season twenty five, death strikes three. Oh, wait a minute. The third episode

Sarah:

Is the killer booby clock. The killer booby clock. The booby trapped cuckoo clock. The

Mark:

most fantastically dressed episode of all time.

Sarah:

Yes. Whoever did the wardrobe, chef's kiss. Chef's kiss. Until then, bye maniacs.

Mark:

Bye maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the mystery maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.

Mark:

Bye, maniacs. Company was where he goes to houses and picks Dale?

Sarah:

Yes. No. What's Dale's company called? I

Mark:

I should've I'm sorry. I thought you would've picked it up. No. It's like Ben and Sin or something. Oh.