What It Feels Like to Be a New Christian (And How We Can Do Better) with Ashley Mendoza

Becoming a Christian is life-changing, but for many new believers, it can also feel overwhelming, confusing, and even lonely. 

In this episode of The Holy Hangout, we sit down with someone who is new to the faith to hear her honest experience—what surprised her, what challenged her, and what she wishes seasoned Christians knew.

We also dive into how the Church and individual believers can better support new Christians. Whether you’re new to Christianity or have been walking with Jesus for years, this episode will challenge and encourage you to see faith from a fresh perspective.

What was your experience like when you first became a Christian?

What is The Holy Hangout?

Yappin’ about real life and the OG.

Ashley: 00:00

It always was confusing to me that they skipped around the Bible a lot,

Micaela: 00:04

but nobody explained to me how the Bible was set up. What do you wish other Christians understood about what it's like to be new to the faith?

Ashley: 00:11

That's a tough question. Question.

Micaela: 00:12

There's a lot of energy and time and resources that are to get to people to come to the faith. And then I feel like it's just kinda like This is take two, because we recorded everything in chip monk mode, which I literally tested the audio. I checked everything before, and then whenever I went to go check, it was like high

Ashley: 00:33

pitched chipmunk. We were, listening to me tackling in chipmunk mode. It was great. Yeah. Give you a good laugh.

Micaela: 00:40

Honestly, man, these are the things that's like, you know, it's gonna be a good interview though. Because, like, when those things happen, it's like, man, this this has to be like, when cameras just shut off, equipment starts not working, I've tested, retested. Like Mhmm. That's when I was like, man, there's something bigger going on here, like, some spiritual attacks happening. So, Confirmed.

Micaela: 00:58

Absolutely. But we rebuke any spiritual attacks in Jesus' name. Telling you right now, we will get this podcast out. But, I wanted to start with how we met. So we were kinda reminiscing but you started dating my brother, and that's ultimately kind of what brought it back together.

Micaela: 01:19

But I would say we really started hanging out after a family gathering that we had, with everybody. And that brings me right into the point of how I see Christ in you. And I kid you not, it is the first time I think I've ever experienced unconditional love. And I remember at first being, like, almost confused by it because it was like, there's no way. Like, she doesn't know who I am.

Micaela: 01:46

How could she even love me? But it was just this instant acceptance and warmth and, like, almost a desire to protect, it felt like. Like, you were just like, you're mine. Like, I'm gonna I'm gonna help you. Like, whatever you need, like, I'm here for you.

Ashley: 02:01

I am a % there for you from day one.

Micaela: 02:03

Genuinely, though. And that's you're the first person I've ever felt like that where it's like I didn't have to earn or ex like, be accepted. It was like it was just I was. Yeah. And so that characteristic, I think, is so rare, and it impacted me forever.

Micaela: 02:19

Like, I lit oh my gosh. 100%. And I instantly knew too. I was like, she's here to stay. Like, I I put your your name as Ashley Mendoza whenever I first met you.

Micaela: 02:29

And I was like, no. Like, it's she's she's here. Like, she's you felt closer and more like family than a lot of family members have in the past. You know what I mean? Like, it was just instant, like, we're we're family.

Ashley: 02:42

So We're connected.

Micaela: 02:43

Yeah. So I love that about you.

Ashley: 02:45

Well, thank you. I appreciate that. You are, you have became more of a sister to me than my own sister over the years. Me and my sister drifted apart. Like, she's out in California and doing her own life, and we honestly, like, don't talk much.

Ashley: 02:59

I mean, we talk, talk, like, here and there, and we send, like, you know, those, reels or whatever. Sure. And but there's no, like, real in-depth conversations anymore. It's, like, I don't even know who I would call if something happened to her. Mhmm.

Ashley: 03:09

Like, I I don't know anything about her anymore. So, and that's partially my fault too for not reaching out and staying in touch. But, but, yeah, I feel like I have really just gained a a major life impacting connection with you that is just it's changed my life. I agree. Like, I love it.

Ashley: 03:27

Me too. I absolutely love it. Me too. And I will say my parents have always taught me that, you know, you treat people like you wanna be treated. And especially when it comes to family because they you know, that's all you're gonna get.

Ashley: 03:40

Mhmm. You can choose your family. You know, I've heard that before. But, you know, now that we are family, it's even bigger to me. And it makes my heart even bigger for you.

Ashley: 03:50

So

Micaela: 03:51

Thank you. Yeah. I feel the exact same. Like, I one, there was an instant connection. And I think for me, feeling accepted by somebody really helped me to, like, kinda put my guard down.

Micaela: 03:59

Because for a long time, I felt like I had to be performative or Yeah.

Ashley: 04:02

Like, meet a certain standard and Totally. Do all the things. Yeah. And feel like you're on the spotlight of, like, oh, we gotta watch my behavior and

Micaela: 04:09

Totally. Yeah. I get that. And I definitely didn't expect it from my brother's significant other. You know what I mean?

Micaela: 04:14

It's just like, you know, it's like, whatever. But yeah. Instantly. And it also really impacted me when I was like, I wanna hang out with Ashley. You know what I mean?

Micaela: 04:25

It's like not not that you're, like, just family gatherings. It's like, oh, it's Mateo's other half Ashley. It's like, no. I wanna, like, go and just hang out with Ashley. You know what I mean?

Micaela: 04:32

So I was like that's when I was like, oh, wow. Like, I'm really connecting. Like, it was super cool. And like you said, like, I'm closer to you, I would say, than, honestly, probably any of my other siblings. I talk to you more than I do Matteo now at this point.

Ashley: 04:44

I think we talk every day. Yeah. Yeah. Which has been wonderful, honestly. Like, when you were like, you need someone to say good morning to.

Ashley: 04:50

And I was like, you know what? That even we fail sometimes. Sure. It's like good morning times too. But it's but it's not about that.

Micaela: 04:59

Totally. And it's nice to know, and I appreciated you being so receptive to that too because it's nice to know that it's like, okay. Somebody knows, like, when you live alone and you're single and by yourself and you're like, wow. I just fall off the face of the earth. I don't think anybody's gonna know.

Micaela: 05:13

Yeah. So it was really nice to be like, I have somebody to be like, hey. Good morning. And, like, you're checking in, you know. And you have me on

Ashley: 05:19

Life three sixty two, so you can totally, like because honestly, I was, like, I was talking to Mateo about it. I'm, like, what what happens if something happened to her? Does anybody there, like, have our information to be, like, hey, you know, your sister just got into a car accident or whatever it may be.

Micaela: 05:34

Yeah.

Ashley: 05:34

And I'm like, I don't think I don't know who we would even contact

Micaela: 05:38

Yeah.

Ashley: 05:38

Other than I would probably reach out to your boss, honestly

Micaela: 05:41

Yeah. That's true.

Ashley: 05:41

At this point. So Yeah. I was like, we need to at least have her on Life three sixty.

Micaela: 05:45

Yeah. I'll have to share that with my emergency contact, Sarah Willis, if you're watching this. But she, she's my local person emergency contact, so I'll have to share y'all's information. But that's a good point. Yeah.

Micaela: 05:57

Getting some logistics out of the way. I love it.

Ashley: 05:59

I'm glad we got that cleared out.

Micaela: 06:00

Yeah. Yeah.

Ashley: 06:01

On air.

Micaela: 06:02

But one of the biggest reasons I wanted to have you on is because you have come, into your faith more recently. And I feel like there's such a gap between starting out in faith and being new and then being, like, seasoned in the faith. And I feel like there's a lot of energy and time and resources that are to get to people to come to the faith. And then I feel like it's just kinda, like, gone.

Ashley: 06:28

We gotcha. Yeah. Let's move on to the next And

Micaela: 06:31

then the

Ashley: 06:31

next people that wanna come in.

Micaela: 06:32

Yeah. And then there's, like, resources for when you're wanting to dive really deep into the faith, like bible studies and and, you know, commentary. And I think those are great avenues as well if you're newer to the faith, but I feel like there's a gap. And I wanted to get your perspective on how, one, we can do better in the church to encourage and help young, younger Christians in the faith, like, grow. Mhmm.

Micaela: 06:56

But then also the perspective from you for those people that are there right now, and they're like, dude, I don't I don't know what to do. Right. So Yeah. I wanted to start with first, like, what your thoughts of, like, God and Christianity were to even begin with. I know that your parents believed in God, but not necessarily traditional in the sense of, like, going to church or reading the Bible.

Micaela: 07:16

Mhmm. So I was super curious, like, what you even thought of God and Christianity in general before you came to your faith.

Ashley: 07:22

Right. Okay. So, with my parents, like, we went to church, like, maybe two times times my whole life. And my aunt Virgie, I will say, I did forget that on the first take, but, she's a full full believer Christian, always never never skipped a a day in church, you know. And, but I always respected that.

Ashley: 07:41

But, like, when we went to visit her, she lived in Oklahoma. I never, like, never really got it. You know? I'm just sitting there like, okay. Well, they're in church, so we're gonna go play over here or whatever.

Ashley: 07:52

You know? So, like, it just didn't it didn't feel like church, I guess, to me. Like, I it it didn't understand the concept. Mhmm. But, with with the church, like, say, we went whenever I was younger, that didn't really mean anything to me either because nobody really explained anything of of, like, what it was or who he was or, you know, like, here's a bible.

Ashley: 08:15

I don't think they ever gave me a bible. I think we just used the ones that were in the back of the pews, you know, that everybody used. Nobody explained how to, like, open it and find things in there. Like, when they're like, oh, turn to this, this, this, and you're just sitting there like, where? This thing is huge.

Ashley: 08:31

Where do you want me to turn to? Like, am I going and I'm looking around, like, trying not to be obvious about looking around. You know? So it's like it's intimidating. But, but yeah.

Ashley: 08:42

So I didn't know really anything at all. Coming in, I'm glad though that it happened that way. Why is that? Because it gave me a chance to figure out a lot about myself first

Micaela: 08:56

and

Ashley: 08:57

a lot of trials and tribulations that I went through alone and then having to realize that, like, it could've went so much differently if I would've accepted Christ. Mhmm. And so, like, while I'm not upset about it, it could've been a lot easier, but I'm glad that I did go through the the things that I did, and I am where I am right now. Like, because I believe that everything does happen for a reason. Totally.

Ashley: 09:18

And I believe that the reason is still unknown to each individual probably. But, whenever you came around was whenever I was, like, gung ho. I'm like, okay. Finally, someone that can explain it to me on a different level. Like, you and I have a connection, where you can explain it to me, talk through problems, and talk through the the bible.

Ashley: 09:41

If I had any questions about the bible, I know that you're right there. And I've asked you multiple times on certain things, so, it's been helpful. But, I just used to think, back to your original question, I used to think that God was just something in the sky possibly, maybe a a being, maybe like a alien. You know? Like, I didn't really understand the concept of what he even was, a spirit Mhmm.

Ashley: 10:08

A ghost or, you know, whatever that may be. That was never really anything on my mind. I just didn't know. Yeah. I guess you could call it ignorance.

Ashley: 10:18

It's Ignorance is bliss.

Micaela: 10:19

A weird concept though, especially if you haven't come and or started with the faith, like, the idea of a god. I think a lot of people, of course, know of, like, a higher power. They've heard of something like that. Yeah. But the idea of, like, a God that would come down Yeah.

Micaela: 10:32

Die for your sins. Like, that's just, like, wait. What? And then you you hear weird things, like, covered by the blood of Jesus. You're like, you put some man's blood on your ear.

Ashley: 10:39

Right. Yeah. And and that was a lot of it too, was just hearing certain things like so I did watch, The Passion of the Christ. Yeah. So that was like, holy moly.

Ashley: 10:49

That was like, this all happened?

Micaela: 10:50

It's intense.

Ashley: 10:51

I coming from someone that didn't know anything about religion or about the Bible or how it all happened other than he he got nailed to a cross, I think, is, all I really knew. And I didn't know why. Like, I was like, okay. That's kinda weird. So watching that movie was a big eye opener.

Ashley: 11:07

That's whenever I decided to go to church, actually, whenever I was living in New Jersey. Okay. So there you go. Wow. Uh-huh.

Ashley: 11:15

That's cool. And I remember watching that movie and just being absolutely just like, I had a a feeling in my stomach of, like, oh my gosh. Like, wow. That's insane Mhmm. That he did he went through all of that.

Ashley: 11:29

You know? So I do know some things now.

Micaela: 11:32

Mhmm.

Ashley: 11:33

But back then, I didn't know anything. And I remember wanting to watch that movie, but having to pick the right time to watch it because, like, you don't know what you're getting into.

Micaela: 11:42

I love to hear that the movie, Passion of Christ, was, like, what brought you to it seems like your first maybe curiosity or, like, it even sounds like maybe the Holy Spirit was drawing you in with that because you were like, woah. Like, he did that for me. Yeah. Where it kind of almost hit home to see, like, a visual representation of it. So I

Ashley: 11:59

think more with that movie than I did my whole life. Yeah. You know? Totally.

Micaela: 12:04

And I think we can, like, forget, like, how things like that can be so impactful too. Mhmm. You know what I mean? Like, somebody would be like, oh, it's just a movie. But it's like, no.

Micaela: 12:11

Like, it like, The Chosen. I've had people reach out to me recently, and it's a like, a series tea on the TV. Okay. And it walks through kind of, like, the gospels. And it, like, follows Jesus.

Micaela: 12:21

And it's, like, the coolest thing ever. It's like Game of Thrones, but, like, for the Bible. It's super cool.

Ashley: 12:24

I love it. Awesome.

Micaela: 12:25

And, since giving up Game of Thrones too, like, because the nudity and stuff Mhmm. I was like, man, I really want kind of, like, a timed age piece. It's kinda, like Right. Adventure y, but, like and it's like, oh my gosh. Like, The Chosen.

Micaela: 12:36

And I started it. I couldn't stop watching. Really? It's so good. I highly recommend it.

Ashley: 12:40

I'll have to put that on

Micaela: 12:41

our list. Yeah. And it's been the same though where people have out, and have shared with me that they're like, hey. Like, The Chosen was part of what brought me to my faith that I have today. And it's just I think it's making what's feels intangible in a book like the Bible, and it makes it come to life to a way that people can understand and and and feel.

Micaela: 13:01

You know what I mean? So Yeah.

Ashley: 13:02

Well, yeah. Definitely. And I'm a I'm a visual learner

Micaela: 13:06

too.

Ashley: 13:06

So, like, you have to take that in consideration. Like, people, it's hard to read sometimes, even comprehend what you read. So that was a a big one for me too. I could read a paragraph of it and not be able to comprehend it or understand it, and I have to read it five, six, seven times and still end up with nothing to show for it. And I'm like, okay.

Ashley: 13:25

Well, this just is not for me. So I gave up multiple times, trying. I tried Totally. Over the years. But, yeah, it was definitely life changing to see that movie, and that's that's whenever I did decide to take the the children to to church.

Ashley: 13:41

Sorry. Yeah. That was pretty impactful, though. And like I said, very scary. Yeah.

Ashley: 13:47

I totally get that.

Micaela: 13:48

Is that kind of, like because one of the questions I wanna ask you was if there was, like, a moment in life when you first felt drawn to God. Would you say that that was one of them, or was it maybe earlier?

Ashley: 13:58

Definitely growing up. I did have something that made me want to have, like I was curious, by all means curious, because I grew up in a small town, and everybody went to church on Sunday. Everybody went to church on Sunday. And I'm like, what is the big deal here? Like, why are y'all going to church?

Ashley: 14:14

And, like because I remember I worked at McDonald's at the time, and I'd see all the the kids that I went to school with. They come in with their families after church. Mhmm. And I'm like, what is going on at these churches? And then my friend Robin, I actually went to church with her a few times.

Ashley: 14:33

I wanna say I was probably, like, 10, 11. K. Somewhere around there. And I just remember the same thing. It's so boring and just, like, it didn't make sense.

Ashley: 14:41

I didn't know what they were talking about. You know? And that was the kids' section at that time. But I just don't think that I was ready Mhmm. Like, to to really, you know, only go once or twice ever then.

Ashley: 14:55

So, yeah, it just, it didn't make any sense. So I went away from it again. Then coming back to it as a young adult, I wanna say I was in my early twenties at that time, whenever I just I had watched the the movie and decided I was gonna go and take my my children to to church, that they needed to to learn and know and be able to make their own decisions moving forward

Micaela: 15:20

Mhmm.

Ashley: 15:21

About if they were gonna believe or not. But I wanted to give them the option to instill that in them.

Micaela: 15:25

Totally. So Was there a moment, that you then decided later in life that you're like, okay. God is real. I'm gonna give my life to Christ.

Ashley: 15:37

I wouldn't say there was an exact moment. I would say that, your your brother had a lot to do with that though, because we we have a lot of in-depth conversations, like, you know. Mhmm. And we both were kind of in that standstill of, like, you know, he had been in the church for a long time and kind of, you know, crammed all this stuff down your throat of this is what you do and this is what you believe and blah blah blah. And he's like, I wanna make my own decisions.

Ashley: 16:04

I'm tired of people telling me what to do. Totally. And I'm like, well, I don't even know anything about it. So why don't we just kinda learn together, you know. And he's like, I don't know what to really believe right now.

Ashley: 16:12

And I was like, I don't don't either. So, like, we're kinda just gonna start this on our own. Mhmm. Like, in where we may land, we will. And so we, started talking about it a lot more, started, not reading the Bible, but, you know, there's shows on Netflix even Mhmm.

Ashley: 16:31

That go over the history of it and certain, like Noah. Oh. That was really good. And he goes, that was nothing like the you know? And I was like, oh, but it was, like, super awesome.

Ashley: 16:41

Like Yeah. It had my attention from beginning to end. Yeah.

Micaela: 16:44

You know?

Ashley: 16:44

And I was like, okay. Well, that's that's unfortunate. But so then I was like, okay. Well, let me go read it now that I understand it, and I have this visual representation of it now. And it was it wasn't too far off, let's say.

Ashley: 16:55

But it was it was pretty close. You know? And that helped me a lot. So then after that, that's whenever, because I know that you and I had talked Mhmm. At the the family gathering, actually, and I was like, I don't really believe.

Ashley: 17:09

Like, I think do you remember that conversation that we had?

Micaela: 17:12

Because I didn't really believe at that time either. Yeah. So we were both talking about Jordan Peterson. Yeah. I'm curious, like, why he was starting to come to faith.

Micaela: 17:19

Yeah. And we were like, we're kinda interested in, like, looking it into it. And I was, like, I believe in a higher power. This is when I was in my spiritual age, you know. It's like I believe in a higher power, but, like, I don't know about Jesus.

Micaela: 17:28

Yeah. You know?

Ashley: 17:28

And that's the same exact mentality that Matteo had. Yeah. And I think maybe maybe everybody kinda goes through that and grows.

Micaela: 17:34

Yeah. Possibly. Possibly. I think it's important to come to your own

Ashley: 17:38

Inclusions about it. Totally. Yeah.

Micaela: 17:40

Yeah.

Ashley: 17:40

Yeah.

Micaela: 17:41

And that's a pivotal pivotal moment for it was for myself. It sounds like it was for you. Sounds like it was for Mateo.

Ashley: 17:48

So Definitely. Yeah.

Micaela: 17:50

I love that.

Ashley: 17:51

It would help to to have that, you know if he wasn't here, then I probably I mean, I would have eventually probably came to faith, because, like I said, I've been curious about it for my whole life just off and on. Totally. So it would have eventually happened. Totally. But I'm glad that it did.

Ashley: 18:04

Yeah.

Micaela: 18:04

God pursues, man. Like, it's crazy. Like, looking back on my life, I can see so many times where God was chasing after me. And it was always the thing that was running away from him with too. Yeah.

Micaela: 18:13

He'd find me there. And it'd be like, oh, like, run away again. There you are. Oh. Yeah.

Micaela: 18:17

He he constantly pursues. Right. You know what I mean? So it's I'm sure that there would have been another way that he did if he didn't. But I love that he used Matteo to do that because now I have you.

Micaela: 18:27

Yeah. Yeah. So it's awesome. I love it. Thank you.

Ashley: 18:30

Yeah. And I will say so, whenever I was living in Versailles, when I moved back from New Jersey, I I sent you that picture actually, and I said, what do you see in this picture? Do you remember that? Yeah. That was that was that's that other time before, Matteo and I started dating.

Ashley: 18:47

So it was probably two years before I met Matteo that I took that picture. I remember the day I was driving. I was living next to him, actually. I was driving back home. Haven was in the car, and she had mentioned something about God.

Ashley: 19:04

And I look up and I see that, and I was like, I have to take a picture. Like, I have to take a picture of that. That looks like God's hand reaching out.

Micaela: 19:11

Mhmm.

Ashley: 19:12

Like, just like, here, take this. Take this this minute and and instill it in your heart. So that's whenever I, that was the other time. So I've had multiple times where it's like, Something needs to happen here. And it just didn't stick with it.

Ashley: 19:27

So I'm I am determined this time, and I'm not gonna let it go away again. Totally. Yeah. Yeah.

Micaela: 19:34

I can even see, like, the difference though from, like, when we first met to now, and I'm sure vice versa too, is, like, you seem like you have more peace. You seem like you have more purpose. You seem like you, the unconditional love, we didn't think it could get better. But, like, genuinely, it's just like it's just there's a different sense about you. Do you feel different?

Ashley: 19:58

I feel a lot different.

Micaela: 19:59

Okay.

Ashley: 19:59

I've battled with depression my entire life. Mhmm. Like, my entire life. And, and while I have seasons and I don't think that'll ever, you know, go away. I think everybody kinda deals with that, here and there.

Ashley: 20:12

I've had some really really really low parts of my life and, something I'm not proud of. You know, I think a lot of people go through that too, but, and coming out on the other side of that, is another moment where you're just like, okay. He's got me. Totally. Like, he's catching me every single time.

Ashley: 20:30

So, like, when are you gonna stand up and stay up? Right? So that is now. I love that. That's where I'm going.

Micaela: 20:39

That's awesome. Okay. So something I wanted to ask about your perspective from being newer to the faith. And I know that there was a ton of, like, revelations that I had whenever I came to the faith in the beginning where I was like, wait. What?

Micaela: 20:55

Like, this is Mhmm. This is not true or this is true or, you know, that that's what that means. Mhmm. And so I was kinda curious if, like, what would you say is the biggest either lie that you used to believe about yourself, Christ, or Christianity that you now kind of see differently?

Ashley: 21:12

That's a tough question. Yeah. I don't really know how to answer that, honestly.

Micaela: 21:21

Do you think there's a perspective that's changed for you over your life or even, like, the viewpoint that you've had? Or Well,

Ashley: 21:28

I have I, I know that you and I have talked about it a lot, learning patience. That is, like, one of I'm quick to snap. And I don't know why, but patience has probably been the biggest thing for me. Every time that I come back to God, I I do feel, more peace. I feel, more patient.

Ashley: 21:54

I feel more kind. I feel like I can give more of me to other people. Mhmm. And I didn't used to be that way. I'm a I'm an introvert.

Ashley: 22:03

I pretend to be an extrovert because of my job and stuff. So, it's a lot of work, but, I didn't used to be as bubbly and friendly and kind and caring. I used to just think about myself, and I was a very selfish person. Didn't really care to grow relationships at all even with you know, I was married before.

Micaela: 22:23

Yeah.

Ashley: 22:23

I didn't I mean, I was dedicated. Don't get me wrong. But I didn't care to, like, care. You know? I wasn't, like, a % in, in, but it just wasn't right.

Ashley: 22:34

You know? And now I know that. But as far as I don't know. That's a really tough question.

Micaela: 22:43

It's yeah. It is. I know. I'm sorry. I was curious though because I feel like, like, a lie that I had.

Micaela: 22:49

And that's kind of, I guess, the angle that I was going into is, like, that God wants me to do good for him. Like, it was like that he wants something from me. Mhmm. And that was one of the biggest lies I took into the faith. So I was curious if there was something like that.

Micaela: 23:02

But I think that can be a a common one in general, though, is just like that God wants me to follow his book of rules.

Ashley: 23:11

Right. Yeah. You know? Yes. Absolutely.

Ashley: 23:14

The the 10 commandments. Yeah. I was always told about those. And I think you actually, it's usually in a joke or a song or something that I ever heard it in. And so, like, I never really looked into it.

Ashley: 23:27

Mhmm. So, like, thou shall not kill, you know, stuff like that. And and it was usually, like I said, a joke or whatever, but, like, obviously, those aren't lies. Like Yeah. You follow those.

Micaela: 23:38

Totally. And I would also say that my realization at least or the lie, if you will, that I used to believe was, like, I need to follow these to make God happy. Mhmm. And then I realized I was like, woah. Wait a second.

Micaela: 23:49

Everything that God has said for me to do in the Bible has been for my benefit. Mhmm. It may not feel good in the moment, but it's for my benefit. Kinda like running. You know what I mean?

Micaela: 23:59

Like, that's great for your heart, cardiovascular health, endurance, everything. But it sucks.

Ashley: 24:03

It sucks in the moment. Yeah.

Micaela: 24:05

And it's the same thing as, like, where I think I just saw God as this man in the sky that wanted me to live perfectly. Right. And then I realized It's not possible. It's not. And then I realized it was a relationship.

Micaela: 24:17

And that's where my, like, relationship with Christ completely changed where it was like, oh, you love me? Like, you you want the best for me? And I started trusting him and his commandments even when I don't understand why. You know what I mean? Because, like, I was lukewarm for a really long time where I would, like, live with my boyfriend and sleep with my boyfriend and at the time.

Micaela: 24:38

Mhmm. And I didn't see an issue with that. I was going to church. I was serving. I was, you know, dedicated to the Lord, I thought.

Micaela: 24:45

Mhmm. But I was like, but, like, I'm gonna cherry pick. I wanna follow all these things, but I don't wanna, like, be pure or, like, you know, focus on purity. Yeah. And then it was a night and day difference whenever I started following those things.

Micaela: 24:58

Even though I didn't see the point, it was more so that I started to understand the character nature of God. Mhmm. I was like, okay. If you're telling me to do this, it's not because you need something from me because trust me, there's nothing I can give you. You know?

Ashley: 25:10

Or so you think.

Micaela: 25:11

Yeah. Well, there's nothing I

Ashley: 25:13

can give God. He has everything. Can give something, and it's love.

Micaela: 25:19

Sweet. I like that perspective. That's good. But totally. And it was like, okay.

Micaela: 25:23

I can trust this this being at the time. I I didn't know who it was. You know? Or I didn't have an intimate relationship. Mhmm.

Micaela: 25:29

Mhmm. And now it's just like, wow. Like, I don't know. It's different. Yeah.

Micaela: 25:33

So that was a lie I believed. And that's kinda why I wanted to touch on it. But I love to hear that.

Ashley: 25:37

Well, everybody tells you they're like, oh, you have to give your life to God. And I'm like, well, what does that mean? Totally. Like, nobody explains what it means. Yeah.

Ashley: 25:45

It like, to to people like me. And it's like, you you can say all these things and, tell me all your rules, but I explain the why. I I'm a why person.

Micaela: 25:55

Me too.

Ashley: 25:55

You have to explain it to me, and I have to, like, literally understand what you're saying or it's not it's not gonna take.

Micaela: 26:01

I'm the exact same. Yeah. And I that was also another struggle I had in early in my faith was I was asking, I guess, maybe a little bit harder questions. And a lot of times, I was given the response of, like, well, his ways are above our ways. His Mhmm.

Micaela: 26:17

His understanding is above our understanding. Right. And I do agree with that. It's biblical. There's a verse that literally says that.

Micaela: 26:22

Right. But

Ashley: 26:23

It's not beneficial to learning.

Micaela: 26:25

Well, it's like he it also says he gives wisdom abundantly to those who asks. I think sometimes people can get intimidated by certain questions in the church. Mhmm. And, like, why would a good god let bad things happen? Right.

Micaela: 26:36

I feel like I've found really wholesome and soul fulfilling answers to those things.

Ashley: 26:42

Oh, that's good. For sure. That is a big question, though, that I hear a

Micaela: 26:46

lot of people ask. That is, that is a

Ashley: 26:48

good point that you made, though. Totally. If if god is so great and he loves you and

Micaela: 26:52

he loves all of us,

Ashley: 26:53

then why does he let cancer happen? Why does he let people die? Why does he let this like, and you can ask all these questions a million times, but it's like it's not yours to decide.

Micaela: 27:01

Yeah. I think that it's Or maybe to know. That's true. And I think there's that's that's probably the case. But I started realizing that the lack of an answer is the lack of wisdom, not that there isn't one.

Micaela: 27:12

Mhmm. God is is holy. God literally is perfect. Mhmm. There has to be an answer.

Micaela: 27:17

And so once I realized that, I started seeking those things Yeah. And started finding answers. And there's even a ministry called the Great Questions in Dallas, Texas at Watermark Community Church. You can go and ask any question you want, literally. And, like, somebody asked, like, how is free will a thing if I was if I didn't choose the family I was born into?

Micaela: 27:37

I was like, yeah. Answer that.

Ashley: 27:38

I wanna know. You know? You're like, I'm waiting. Yeah.

Micaela: 27:40

And so I think it's awesome to open up, especially people who are newer into the faith to say, like, ask anything and be in a in a be that person as well if you're on the other side of, like, being receptive and also being okay with saying, like, you know what? I don't know. Mhmm.

Ashley: 27:56

Yeah. And sometimes that is definitely, like, what I would

Micaela: 27:59

I would have to say.

Ashley: 28:00

No. No. I don't know. I definitely don't know. Trust me.

Micaela: 28:02

All of us. Yeah. I wanted to also ask you, has there ever been a moment where you truly felt, like, seen and accepted in your walk or faith? So it sounds like maybe there was a church that connected with you. Yeah.

Micaela: 28:15

Was that maybe, like, the first time? So that

Ashley: 28:16

was the first time I actually felt accepted into any type of religion. What but and I don't know if it was because I made the decision on my own to go Mhmm. And, that I was determined to, you know, let my children lead lead that life as well. Mhmm. But I I went to this church, and it was it was a huge church too.

Ashley: 28:38

But it was close, and it wasn't you know, it was, I walked in, and there's everybody, you know, little coffee bars, and, and, like, they got donuts and stuff over there. I'm like, okay. It's, like, it's nice and quiet in here, and nobody's, like, cackle, laughing. And, you know, how you go in and, like, it's it's overwhelming because, like, you hear so many people just, like, so loud. And, that to me is overwhelming, especially if I'm new.

Ashley: 29:04

But I walked in, and I seen all these people, and they're just, like, normal people. There's, yeah, a mix a good mix of young and old and little kids running around, but respectively running around, and they're all nicely dressed. And I'm like, this is like a dream. Mhmm. Like, this is how I envisioned church should be is is walking into that church.

Micaela: 29:21

So Did anybody talk to you?

Ashley: 29:23

When I walked through the door, the pastor and I'm still learning terms and stuff, so I'm not sure what exactly he was. But, the pastor was right there, shook my hand, asked me my name Oh, wow. And asked the you know, talked to the kids and asked if they had little, Bibles because he could tell we're new. Right? Like, we're walking up with nothing.

Ashley: 29:42

I had my purse. Yeah. And, I was like, yeah. We're we're here for the first time. And he goes, oh my goodness.

Ashley: 29:48

That's amazing. Can I get your name? We're gonna we're gonna welcome you, to the church. We're gonna talk about you today. And I was like, wow.

Ashley: 29:55

That's that's overwhelming. Yeah. But it was great because it didn't give me the opportunity to run away. Right? Because, if I get uncomfortable I'm I'm an introvert.

Ashley: 30:09

I will recluse, you know, to the the back of the the church and kinda sit in the back of the pews and just try to not be seen. But he welcomed me just open arms, no questions asked, and it was great. And my kids, he's like, let me take you on a little tour real quick. And we went to, like, where the kids would go, which class they would be in, and we met the teachers and talked to them. And all this happened before the sermon.

Ashley: 30:34

Like, it was quick, but it was very, genuine, and I felt very welcomed. So, that's where I was like I left there thinking I had a big smile on my face, and I'm like, this was amazing. This is the best day I've ever had. You know? And I was like, this is different.

Ashley: 30:49

I like this. I joined the choir. How cool. Yeah. I love to sing.

Ashley: 30:55

So I was like, if I could do anything, like, I want him to hear my voice. Like, I was just so pumped and ready, you know, to, like, just give everything to God at that point. So I had, like, an amazing experience on my first time, with that church. And I went for quite a while with the kids. They both loved it.

Ashley: 31:11

Like I said, they gave them their own little, Bibles. They gave me a Bible. They they welcomed me on stage, and I didn't go on stage. They just, like, said my name and my kids' names and stuff. So, that was great.

Ashley: 31:24

It was a great experience.

Micaela: 31:26

I think it's such a good reminder too of, like, welcoming anybody into the circle. Mhmm. And I have shared this, but I've I've felt convicted recently that it was like, oh, man. Like, I did in the beginning. And I saw somebody I've never seen before, and I just start a conversation, invite them to my home.

Micaela: 31:43

Like, let's let's do Bibles. You know, like, invite them and Mhmm. Try to do life with them. Right. And I started getting, like, that group of friends, and I feel like that's kinda dwindled away.

Micaela: 31:52

So Right. You have 100% convicted me again to start opening the door or, like, even just turning around and being like, hey. Like, what's your name? Yeah.

Ashley: 31:59

You know? Exactly. And and that's all it takes sometimes, in my opinion. That would have helped me. But I did have a great experience that time.

Ashley: 32:08

So that took that, that anxiety out of my heart and let me actually enjoy the experience. Totally. You know? So I wasn't sitting there like I get very kinda paranoid when people sit behind me. And after that, after him introducing me to all these people, I didn't feel any anxiety about anybody sitting behind me.

Micaela: 32:26

Wow. And I

Ashley: 32:26

sat in the middle. I never sat in the middle. Wow. And it goes a big deal.

Micaela: 32:30

I think that that literally shows exactly what it can do to make somebody feel like they belong and they're welcome. Mhmm. Yep. Not that it's a part of a club that you have to earn your way in. It's literally, like, as soon as you walk into that door, like, you are family.

Ashley: 32:42

Yeah. Instead.

Micaela: 32:43

Like, let's let's talk. Let me show you. Yeah. That's so cool.

Ashley: 32:46

Yeah. It was. It was a very good experience, and I'm I'm very grateful for it.

Micaela: 32:50

So on the topic of, like, being new into church and starting fresh with not really, like, a background in going to church or reading the Bible, I was really curious. Like, what do you wish other Christians understood about what it's like to be new to the faith?

Ashley: 33:09

Well, I wish that they understood that, when you're coming in like, for example, my first time going to the church, I did get a lot of anxiety, like, relief Mhmm. From the instant, you know, warm welcome. Totally. So that I think helped. And I think that I honestly think now looking back that it was it was God, like, giving me the it's okay.

Ashley: 33:32

Oh. You know? It's okay. Calm down. It's okay.

Ashley: 33:36

Yeah. But it it gave me the opportunity right then, to actually be able to listen to what they were saying. And though I didn't understand it, I didn't feel anxiety about not understanding it. Wow. So, I think that if people kind of understood a little more, like, we don't we don't know what it means whenever you guys, I say you guys.

Ashley: 33:58

That feels so bad. I'm sorry.

Micaela: 33:59

No. I but, genuinely, yeah.

Ashley: 34:01

But, like, whenever you guys, like, say, you know, turn to this page, we're gonna talk about this today. And, like, it just doesn't make any sense to us, I guess, because maybe maybe because I just don't know how to read the Bible. I recently have started front to back is what I'm doing because that's how you read a book. So so it's confusing. It always was confusing to me that they skipped around the Bible a lot,

Micaela: 34:27

but nobody explained to me how the Bible was set up, that

Ashley: 34:29

it was different stories written by different people. Nobody told me that. You told me that. Oh, for real? Yeah.

Ashley: 34:35

Oh. And I was like, what? No way. Like, I had no clue. So, like, if there's there's I don't know.

Ashley: 34:45

Maybe if they whenever you are there new, maybe they ask, you know, what is your knowledge? How how much do you know? How in-depth have you been? Mhmm. And maybe what do you what would help you learn?

Ashley: 34:57

What would help you today? Yeah. Because that would've helped me, like, just knowing that simple thing. I was like, oh, okay. You go to the book of John.

Ashley: 35:04

Like, totally. That would have been so much easier than thinking that there's, like,

Micaela: 35:08

5,000 different stories written by individual people Yeah.

Ashley: 35:08

Is how I perceived it because I never knew. Perceived it because I never knew. Totally. So that right there would take a a I mean, personally Yeah. That probably would've helped.

Micaela: 35:20

And I think we can, skip over a lot of those things that we had to learn ourselves Mhmm. And then just assume that it's, like, common knowledge when I wasn't born knowing that that you know what I mean? Like, I had to learn that.

Ashley: 35:31

Yeah. In the jargon, a lot of the the words Christianese. Yeah. It's it's confusing. Totally.

Ashley: 35:40

And it makes no sense. Yeah. Especially, because, like, I don't really understand. Like, you said, the the blood of Christ and stuff. It's like, I've heard that my whole life.

Ashley: 35:49

I've I understand that. But what does it mean? Where did it come come from? What story is it attached to? How do I find out how that started?

Ashley: 35:55

Yeah. That's what I wanna know.

Micaela: 35:57

Have you found anything helpful while trying to, like, piece those things together?

Ashley: 36:02

Honestly, I just asked Matteo. Oh, yeah.

Micaela: 36:05

So finding a, like, a seasoned believer there. Yeah.

Ashley: 36:07

Yeah. Just someone that you can pick their brain and be like and I will sit there and be like, okay. But what about and, like, it'll be a three hour conversation because I just wanna know more. Mhmm. Like, tell me more.

Ashley: 36:17

Tell me more. Mhmm. I'm just so I'm excited to learn more. Yeah. I'm excited to know, but help me with the the verbiage, you know.

Ashley: 36:26

Totally. So I can understand what you guys are talking about whenever I do just jump in and hear, a preacher talking, you know, and be like, oh, hey. I I've heard that before.

Micaela: 36:36

Yeah.

Ashley: 36:36

I understand that word now.

Micaela: 36:37

Yeah.

Ashley: 36:38

Or I understand the terminology that you're using or the situation. Totally. Because sometimes, me and my son have been reading Mhmm. The Bible and he likes, the book of John. We started there, which was, again, confusing for me Sure.

Ashley: 36:54

Because I didn't know what happened before that. Yeah. So they're they're talking about people from back then and I'm like, well, who are those people? Totally. So that's confusing to new people as well.

Ashley: 37:05

But there's been times where him and I are reading, and he doesn't understand something. And I'm like, well, let's go ask Google. Mhmm. Like, I'm not afraid to ask Google. It's gotta tell you something.

Ashley: 37:15

Right? So just having someone, I think, to understand or to walk you through Mhmm. What it is so you can understand.

Micaela: 37:22

That would

Ashley: 37:23

be awesome.

Micaela: 37:23

100%.

Ashley: 37:24

A seasoned Christian. Yes.

Micaela: 37:26

I feel like almost any church, you could find either somebody that's older or you can Right. Find somebody. But I get there's a step where it's, like, asking. Yeah.

Ashley: 37:35

Like, who do you ask?

Micaela: 37:36

Yeah. Honestly, it's like, who's the craziest craziest Christian I know? And, like, let me go to that person. They'd they'd love to help. But yeah.

Ashley: 37:41

And that's the thing is, like, you one, it feels like a burden, because all that stuff to them, in my opinion, this is how I would perceive it, is, oh, that's so minuscule. Why are you so worried about that? And it's like, no. But I had a question. Please answer it.

Ashley: 37:55

Mhmm. So I've heard that too.

Micaela: 37:56

Yeah.

Ashley: 37:57

Oh, you don't have to worry about that. Like, that's, like, that's the littlest, you know, whatever. And it's like, but I had the question and I'm curious.

Micaela: 38:03

Yeah.

Ashley: 38:03

So that's also, you know, just because it's not important to them, it is important to us.

Micaela: 38:07

Totally.

Ashley: 38:08

You know? So I think

Micaela: 38:09

a lot of times that can come from the person not knowing the answer and they don't wanna look dumb too. Because if you're already going them for advice, they're like, oh, like, they think highly of me. They're asking for advice in the Bible. And then it's like, I don't know. And it's like, oh, yeah.

Micaela: 38:20

We don't need to know that.

Ashley: 38:21

Don't worry about

Micaela: 38:22

it. You know? Yeah. So

Ashley: 38:23

I could see that. Yeah. And I do, even coming to you sometimes, I do feel a little bit, like, not not like a burden, but, like, I feel like maybe I annoy you. Never. Or, like and I know you're always so receptive.

Ashley: 38:33

Like, you're amazing. Don't worry about that. But it's just that initial feeling of, like, I don't wanna bother. You know? And that's a concern too probably for a lot of, new people in the faith.

Micaela: 38:45

Dude, I love any any person that's, like, deeper in their faith too, like, it's a joy to share. It's, like, oh my gosh. Let me tell you. And, like, oh my gosh. Like, let me think deeper about that.

Micaela: 38:54

What is sanctification? Conviction? What are the fruit of the spirit? And, like, explaining it, it's grown my faith so much because I've had to be, like, wait. What do I believe about this?

Micaela: 39:03

And, like, really, like, diving into this. Stand? Exactly. I love it. And, obviously, I like talking about God and Jesus and stuff like that too.

Micaela: 39:12

Here we are on the podcast. But, I think almost any Christian that's, like, in their faith would enjoy to do that as well. Mhmm. You know what I mean?

Ashley: 39:20

Yeah. And it's it I think it comes down to, one, finding somebody that you are comfortable with.

Micaela: 39:25

Yeah.

Ashley: 39:25

And that might not be somebody in the church that you go to. It might be a family member. It might I mean, because as a beginner I'm gonna call it a beginner Christian. Level one. Yeah.

Ashley: 39:35

Right? Level one, entry level here. It is so scary. And then not only are you just, like, going in and feeling stupid right off the bat because you don't understand anything, but you don't know anybody. Yeah.

Ashley: 39:48

And some people I'm not not being mean, but some of the people are just, like, they kinda look stuck up and they're not approachable. Yeah. You know? So then there's that. And then it's like, okay.

Ashley: 39:59

Well, who's the right person when you don't know anybody?

Micaela: 40:02

Totally.

Ashley: 40:02

It's like, do you talk to the preacher at that point? And maybe they give you a little Christian battle buddy kinda thing. Like, how does this work? Yeah. I totally like that.

Micaela: 40:10

So I've never thought of it from that perspective too. It's like, who do I go to if I don't know anybody?

Ashley: 40:14

Yeah.

Micaela: 40:15

I, now being, like, in church more, I feel like I'd probably go to, like, the prayer team up in the front or something. Yeah.

Ashley: 40:22

I would've never known they

Micaela: 40:23

had one. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's like, how do you know? But, yeah, trying to grab somebody that works at the church and just be like, hey.

Micaela: 40:28

Like, I wanna learn more. Like Mhmm. But, you know, I've done that before.

Ashley: 40:31

Yeah.

Micaela: 40:32

I did that at a church in Missouri. And I instantly was like, I don't want to be involved here anymore. Because it was like I was like, hey. Like, do you guys have, like, a bible study I wanna join? Like, this is so cool.

Micaela: 40:44

And she was like, oh, yeah. I think Debbie has one, but it's kind of like a like, we have a group and I guess you can come. But, like, it was it was literally That's

Ashley: 40:52

off putting.

Micaela: 40:52

I know. And I was like, I don't feel welcome. I don't wanna go.

Ashley: 40:56

See that that too. And it's like, okay.

Micaela: 40:58

But I thought we were all here to share. Yeah. On the opposite side though, at my CrossFit gym in Texas Mhmm. It was the craziest thing. Like, I said something about, like, yeah, it was a total God thing.

Micaela: 41:07

And then one of the girls was like, oh my gosh. We have a bible study. Do you wanna come? Like, as soon as she knew that, I was

Ashley: 41:11

like It's like instant.

Micaela: 41:12

Yes. And so it was, like, completely different. Instantly welcomed into the group and, like, I needed community so deeply at that time. And it was such an answered prayer. So That's good.

Micaela: 41:21

I think it's kind of like there's gonna be rejection. There's gonna be groups. Don't take, like, either a no or an off. You

Ashley: 41:26

know? Right. Yeah. And that's why I think that's back to, like, I think everything happens for a reason. Totally.

Ashley: 41:32

Like, God is pushing you in the right direction. Mhmm. Take it. Yep. Stop resisting.

Micaela: 41:36

Yeah. 100%.

Ashley: 41:37

And if those people aren't right, if you get that feeling, it's like, there's a reason for that.

Micaela: 41:41

Totally. They're not your people.

Ashley: 41:42

Yeah. You know? 100%.

Micaela: 41:44

So to anybody who is earlier in their walk, maybe, like, you know I know you've grown in your faith a lot. So to somebody who is just starting over, that they're at, like, ground one, what advice would you give

Ashley: 42:00

them? There's so many variables to that. Sure. Oh my goodness. Like, do they know anybody in the faith?

Ashley: 42:05

Do they have anybody that can hold their hand?

Micaela: 42:08

Worst case scenario.

Ashley: 42:09

Alright. So I say, what would they do initially?

Micaela: 42:13

Like, what advice would you

Ashley: 42:14

What advice

Micaela: 42:14

would I give

Ashley: 42:15

to them? I would say, man, that's a loaded question. Just do it. Just go to church, ask questions, and don't be afraid because I was that person. And it took me, oh, over twenty years, and here we are finally.

Ashley: 42:36

You know? And my life could have been completely different had I grown in my faith sooner. And I do have a little bit of regret from that, but I'm here now. And I think that if if someone could find a person or even a podcast to listen to or, you know, like like we were talking about Jordan Peterson. It's kinda where I got my curiosities.

Ashley: 42:59

Maybe look at those things first so you feel more comfortable

Micaela: 43:02

Mhmm.

Ashley: 43:02

Talking about it because sometimes, like, not everybody is so, I guess, receptive of people believing in God. Yeah. You know, there's there's backlash everywhere. Totally. So, like, you talk about God in the wrong setting and, like, you might get backlash.

Ashley: 43:16

Yeah. So there has to be, like, a safety net of some sort. So find maybe some some some good points to to know and ground yourself first before you go and jump into it. Mhmm. And then, like, just ask people questions.

Micaela: 43:32

Totally. I wanna encourage you to go back because you said you had a slight regret for Mhmm. Maybe not coming to a close relationship with Christ Mhmm. Sooner. But I wanna also say, like, it literally says that he works everything for the good of those who love him.

Micaela: 43:53

And God is not a God where there's wasted time. He makes up tenfold.

Ashley: 43:59

Yeah.

Micaela: 44:00

Like, there's no such thing as, man, shoulda, coulda, woulda. It's literally like, you've accepted Christ in your life. He will change every part that was meant for evil to be good. He will not let any time be wasted. Like, he makes up for that in such a way that is so powerful.

Micaela: 44:18

And at the end, it's like, I needed that. Mhmm. And you can reach people in a way that others can't now because of your own testimony. Yeah. Like, it's so powerful.

Ashley: 44:28

Thank you.

Micaela: 44:28

Yeah. So it's not it's not a shoulda, coulda, woulda, and I I hope that one day it's not seen as a regret.

Ashley: 44:35

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

Micaela: 44:37

Absolutely. Ashley, thank you for being on.

Ashley: 44:40

Thank you for having me. Yeah. It's been wonderful.

Micaela: 44:42

It's been good. Let's go. A lot of technical issues, but we made it.

Ashley: 44:46

We're not chipmunks anymore.