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Legacy isn’t built in one moment — it’s built in a lifetime of ordinary faith.
In this special season finale crossover episode, Caleb & Chrissy Cole are joined by Randy and Joanne Cole for a powerful conversation about building a legacy that outlives you. From decades of ministry, parenting, marriage, and everyday obedience, Randy and Joanne share wisdom that will strengthen every listener — especially young families, leaders, and couples.
This episode is filled with humor, practical parenting insight, and timeless truth: don’t underestimate the power of consistency, community, and staying faithful through the decades.
— — — — — — — — — —
In this special season finale crossover episode, Caleb & Chrissy Cole are joined by Randy and Joanne Cole for a powerful conversation about building a legacy that outlives you. From decades of ministry, parenting, marriage, and everyday obedience, Randy and Joanne share wisdom that will strengthen every listener — especially young families, leaders, and couples.
This episode is filled with humor, practical parenting insight, and timeless truth: don’t underestimate the power of consistency, community, and staying faithful through the decades.
— — — — — — — — — —
If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend and leave a review — it helps more women find Project Sisterhood 💛
🎧 Listen to Project Sisterhood:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/12Mzxkt8WDImuZJpu90b7N?si=a5208fcedd2c44f7
📲 Follow Project Sisterhood on Instagram:
Instagram: @projectsisterhood
⛪️ Project Church:
Website: https://projectchurch.com
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Creators and Guests
Host
Chrissy Cole
Chrissy’s parents moved to the U.S. from the Philippines in the late 70′s. She saw her parents both come to know the Lord at a young age. She and her family poured their lives into the local church and were changed by God. Chrissy attended Evangel University in Springfield, MO and earned a B.A. in Communications with an emphasis in Public Relations.
Guest
Caleb Cole
Caleb, a Sacramento native, grew up in a pastor’s home and is a third generation minister. At the age of 12, after one of his grandfather’s sermons, he felt a call from God to be a pastor. He consistently pursued that call throughout high school and college. Caleb attended Central Bible College in Springfield, MO where he earned a B.A. in Biblical Studies and went on to the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary where he earned an M.A. in Theological Studies.
What is Project Sisterhood?
Project Sisterhood is a podcast for women who want to grow in faith, find healthy community, and become who God created them to be.
Hosted by Chrissy Cole and the Project Church Sisterhood team, each episode brings honest conversations and biblical encouragement centered on identity, belonging, spiritual maturity, healing, relationships, and purpose.
With a mix of humor, vulnerability, and real-life wisdom, Project Sisterhood creates space for women in every age and stage to feel seen, strengthened, and connected—because you were never meant to do life alone.
00;00;00;03 - 00;00;09;09
Speaker 1
People ask you, you know, what's your key to success? And honestly, this is going to sound kind of facetious, but just don't do anything stupid.
00;00;09;09 - 00;00;29;06
Speaker 2
You're listening to men of Faith, the podcast dedicated to calling men up and not out. Join me as we live a life dedicated to our God.
00;00;29;08 - 00;00;53;27
Speaker 3
This is a Project sisterhood podcast for all things women with a useful purpose for ministry, motherhood, or the marketplace. We have fruitful and genuine conversations that transcend your season, yet impact your true identity as a woman. From light hearted and laughable to honest, deep matters of the heart, your soul will be encouraged. We hope you and all women of every age and every stage find life and freedom in Jesus.
00;00;54;00 - 00;00;58;13
Speaker 2
All right. Welcome back to the men of Faith podcast and.
00;00;58;19 - 00;01;02;06
Speaker 3
The Sisterhood podcast project. Sisterhood podcast.
00;01;02;13 - 00;01;23;05
Speaker 2
That's right. This is a crossover episode. So we're coming together because we have some incredible special guests. These are not just guests, but their family. And so I would like to introduce my parents, Randy and Joanne Cole. Make some noise wherever you are at.
00;01;23;08 - 00;01;24;08
Speaker 1
Man.
00;01;24;11 - 00;01;26;09
Speaker 3
I'm here for the sound effects.
00;01;26;12 - 00;01;27;22
Speaker 2
Hey, guys. Welcome to the podcast.
00;01;27;23 - 00;01;30;00
Speaker 4
Thank you. It's good to be here.
00;01;30;02 - 00;01;34;17
Speaker 1
Yeah, this this is my first podcast I've ever been on.
00;01;34;19 - 00;01;35;01
Speaker 2
Really?
00;01;35;01 - 00;01;41;20
Speaker 1
Ever. It took me almost 70 years, but here I am. We got it. My very first podcast.
00;01;41;20 - 00;01;44;21
Speaker 2
We slipped it in right before your 70th birthday.
00;01;44;23 - 00;01;47;16
Speaker 1
Yep. So, I've arrived.
00;01;47;17 - 00;02;13;23
Speaker 2
You have? Yeah. So, I'm thankful for these two, obviously, as my parents, Chrissy's in-laws, and, we've had a an amazing opportunity to live close by to them for the last, what, 14 years now? So they've seen all of our kids grow up. They've been amazing. Me, me and Papa. Grandparents to our kids, taking the load at times and babysat for us and let us go on trips.
00;02;13;23 - 00;02;26;19
Speaker 2
And so thank you guys. Want to honor you. Welcome for your support through the years. Not just of our ministry, but of course, of us, our family and, they really are the best. Me, me and papa. So we're super grateful for.
00;02;26;19 - 00;02;28;13
Speaker 4
That's a really easy job.
00;02;28;15 - 00;02;29;27
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah.
00;02;29;29 - 00;02;31;08
Speaker 2
It's a fun job. Hopefully. Right.
00;02;31;09 - 00;02;35;08
Speaker 3
Easy. Tiring, right? But easy.
00;02;35;10 - 00;02;36;21
Speaker 4
It's the best job.
00;02;36;23 - 00;02;53;00
Speaker 2
So we're going to talk about, just building a legacy and a legacy of faith within our within your family. And we want this to hopefully encourage a lot of you out there that are listening. But these two have a lot of game to give us. I mean, they've they've done this for many years. They're way well ahead of us.
00;02;53;00 - 00;03;05;18
Speaker 2
Chrissy. But why don't you guys introduce yourselves in terms of, like, give us some background of of what you've done in terms of ministry and then maybe what you're doing now too, of course.
00;03;05;20 - 00;03;07;05
Speaker 4
So I go first.
00;03;07;08 - 00;03;08;27
Speaker 1
Ladies first.
00;03;08;29 - 00;03;19;22
Speaker 4
We've been married for 46 years, and we have four children. Caleb, the eldest. He was also the easiest child race I could have that.
00;03;19;24 - 00;03;21;29
Speaker 2
You have to say that on a typical.
00;03;22;01 - 00;03;24;14
Speaker 3
Yeah, I do have to say that one.
00;03;24;16 - 00;03;55;09
Speaker 4
And he was he was the typical first born. He was a caretaker, protector, obedient, peacekeeper. More of a peacemaker, actually, in our home. So he was a great kid. Now we had we have two girls and two boys and probably I mean, we always in the church, dad was on staff. Grandpa was a pastor. And probably when they were, I don't know, maybe middle school.
00;03;55;09 - 00;04;14;01
Speaker 4
I started working at the church occasionally on and off and didn't go, scuse me full time till probably everyone was. Maybe you were in high school, middle school, and served in women's ministry and discipleship and just had a lot of fun, and church was life.
00;04;14;04 - 00;04;23;19
Speaker 2
And so you did that for, how long? Like full time minutes when you were, like, actually serving. Working in the church because you retired just a couple of years? Yep.
00;04;23;21 - 00;04;25;11
Speaker 4
Yep. Probably a few decades.
00;04;25;18 - 00;04;26;20
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yep.
00;04;26;22 - 00;04;30;27
Speaker 4
Yep. Retired a couple of years ago. And and just keeping this guy going.
00;04;30;29 - 00;04;31;11
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00;04;31;13 - 00;04;35;19
Speaker 2
And before that, your ministry was being a mom for a lot of years, too.
00;04;35;21 - 00;04;36;19
Speaker 4
It really was.
00;04;36;21 - 00;04;37;19
Speaker 1
Family.
00;04;37;21 - 00;04;42;17
Speaker 4
Yeah, that was my primary ministry.
00;04;42;20 - 00;04;48;20
Speaker 1
I have to correct you. We've been married 45 years. Oh, what does she say? She said 46.
00;04;48;20 - 00;04;50;05
Speaker 4
I'm so excited about her.
00;04;50;05 - 00;04;50;16
Speaker 1
And and.
00;04;50;22 - 00;04;51;27
Speaker 3
Sorry.
00;04;51;29 - 00;04;56;21
Speaker 1
If we make it in March, it'll be. Oh, my gosh, you make it all right.
00;04;56;21 - 00;04;59;19
Speaker 4
Do you have any questions about that?
00;04;59;21 - 00;05;26;05
Speaker 1
Yeah. No. So, yeah, we've been married 45 years, four kids now, nine grandkids. And Christy gave us our first three grandkids. They did. So they're the three oldest. And someone asked me last night, what what is your the highlight of your day? Just going through the typical week. And I, I had to really think, you know, man, I don't know.
00;05;26;07 - 00;05;37;08
Speaker 1
I mean, other than just getting to the office, going to work, you know what one of them is? It's right here. Haha. Hey, this.
00;05;37;08 - 00;05;37;29
Speaker 2
Is a plug.
00;05;37;29 - 00;05;43;09
Speaker 1
Honestly, I really look forward to getting my daily, blue print coffee.
00;05;43;09 - 00;05;44;26
Speaker 3
Yes, shout out other.
00;05;44;26 - 00;06;12;17
Speaker 1
One is 330 today. Both the boys are playing basketball, so that'll be a highlight of the day. You know, just, the kids activities. And it was growing up, you know, when our kids were all involved in sports at and competed at, you know, fairly high levels. So that was a lot of fun. But I've been in full time ministry for 47 years, and started in the fall of 1978.
00;06;12;19 - 00;06;46;25
Speaker 1
So is that 47? Yeah, I think it is 47 years, just this fall, in a in a role starting out in youth ministry like most people do out of Bible school, did that for ten years and then moved into, associate pastor roles, various types. Including church administration and men's ministry and sports outreach and, and now here at Project Church, been here now seven years.
00;06;46;28 - 00;07;10;22
Speaker 1
In January, it'll be seven years as executive pastor and oversight of kind of running the business side of things. And, and here at Project Church, you know, we we run some small businesses. So that's been a new experience running a coffee shop in the market. Vintage clothing. Yeah. Project blueprint, and then outside events. And, you know, we have a colab.
00;07;10;25 - 00;07;23;04
Speaker 1
So, I was thinking, you know, about podcasts, honestly, it's probably generational. I don't listen to many people. Yeah, I just I just don't not.
00;07;23;04 - 00;07;23;27
Speaker 4
Only has.
00;07;23;27 - 00;07;28;02
Speaker 1
He that's a this is a new it's a new phenomenon. Listen, it's.
00;07;28;02 - 00;07;31;15
Speaker 2
A good thing because I've talked about you a bunch. Glad you haven't been literally.
00;07;31;18 - 00;07;32;16
Speaker 1
No, no.
00;07;32;18 - 00;07;42;28
Speaker 3
No. Well we were I thought this was a really great conversation. Right before this recording that, you know, how did you feel that you were invited into this podcast?
00;07;43;06 - 00;08;09;05
Speaker 1
I thought, what? What am I gonna say? My life is dull in an interesting like. I mean, it's we've had a great life. But, you know, there's been no terrible tragedy that we've had to overcome then. I mean, life is hard. We've lost parents recently. We have one mom. You know, Joanne's mom's the only one still living in terms of our parents.
00;08;09;05 - 00;08;32;27
Speaker 1
In recent years, we've been doing elder care stuff. That's hard stuff. Yeah, and then managing estates and such when your parents are gone. And who knew? You know, what that was going to be like. I don't know how you prepare. It's hard to to prepare for stuff like that, but, you know, I'm not a cancer survivor.
00;08;32;29 - 00;08;42;04
Speaker 1
I've never filed bankruptcy. I've. I've, you know, I've never gone to prison. Dolen an interesting.
00;08;42;04 - 00;08;44;20
Speaker 2
But but you did a little drugs when you were young.
00;08;44;20 - 00;08;47;03
Speaker 1
Oh, shut up. Hahahahaha!
00;08;47;06 - 00;08;47;22
Speaker 3
I didn't.
00;08;47;22 - 00;09;14;25
Speaker 1
Deny it. Yeah, I had a season in life where I push the envelope a little bit and I was that kid. I was the excuse me, I was the firstborn to the eldest, but I was not the compliant. The perfect child, not, Again, I didn't get into any serious trouble or anything, but, I had a little streak of rebellion.
00;09;14;28 - 00;09;18;22
Speaker 1
So there's a certain stage station in life. Stage?
00;09;18;24 - 00;09;39;16
Speaker 3
Well, Randy, when you were saying this earlier, the scripture did come into my mind. First Thessalonians, first Thessalonians 411 through 12, make it your ambition to lead a quiet life. You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.
00;09;39;18 - 00;10;04;26
Speaker 3
And, I thought that was so good. I think Caleb was even saying that, maybe the key to passing on a legacy that's God honoring is living that quiet life. And, you know, we're not here to necessarily amplify, make your life louder or our lives louder. But it's we do really want to resource our church with people and stories that are real.
00;10;04;29 - 00;10;20;00
Speaker 3
And how they made it. We don't always have to have those big highlight moments, and we don't have to try to seek and have the ambition of this world to be more famous. But the ambition is to have a quiet life. So I think that might be the case.
00;10;20;03 - 00;10;54;02
Speaker 1
I've, I've always told people that when you're, you know, what's the biggest issue? Oh, what's God's will? What's God's plan for my life? Those are big, big, big, big questions. And they're really hard to answer. You know, you we know we can do it theologically and and such, but, how do you practically live that? I've always found that, you know, when you're going through transitions and you're making decisions about your future, you you have to walk in peace.
00;10;54;04 - 00;11;23;14
Speaker 1
If if the decision doesn't bring peace and doesn't bring a sense of yes, you know, then why are you doing it? Yeah. So that's been a pattern, I think, for our life is we've, we've had we've had peaceful in a lot of ways, uneventful lives. We've had some great experiences in life, like we've we've got to do a lot of cool things, you know, in life, travel some.
00;11;23;14 - 00;11;51;12
Speaker 1
And, you know, we've been to the Middle East a few times and we've seen the world really, when you think about it. My Joanne is Canadian, so, yeah, grew up in another part of the, the world, so to speak, back on the East Coast. But, in the conversation, we were having earlier, when people ask you, you know, what's your key to success?
00;11;51;12 - 00;12;15;08
Speaker 1
And honestly, this is going to sound kind of facetious, but just don't do anything stupid. Really stupid, you know, manage your impulses, you know, and we're going to think about play the movie. So to speak. If I make this decision, how is this going to play? What's it going to look like? How's it going to play out? You know, we do things that have eternal consequences in a whim.
00;12;15;12 - 00;12;16;06
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00;12;16;08 - 00;12;26;10
Speaker 1
You know, in an impulse we do crazy stuff. Yeah. Fortunately we've been able to live a peaceful, dull.
00;12;26;10 - 00;12;27;07
Speaker 3
Life, reigning in.
00;12;27;08 - 00;12;57;06
Speaker 2
Lack of stupidity. You've avoided it. So that's good. Yes. Yeah. So, so when it comes to a legacy of faith, that's something that obviously you guys are recipients of too. Yeah. I mean, so my grandfather, my, my dad's father was a pastor here in Sacramento. So I'm a third generation pastor, but my mom was raised by Christian parents as well, which led her to a Bible college where she met my dad.
00;12;57;08 - 00;13;16;02
Speaker 2
So when it comes to like you guys have continued that legacy with your children, and now I'm living that on like, what were some of the keys that you would say? Because I think there's a lot of people listening who are raising young children like us, maybe just starting out with kids or newlyweds.
00;13;16;05 - 00;13;24;28
Speaker 2
And what would you say are some of the key, some of the things you did well in, like, passing on that legacy of faith to your kids.
00;13;25;00 - 00;13;51;15
Speaker 4
I think, well, that's a tough question, but I think it's just consistency. Yeah, I think we're consistent in our home and what was important to us and our home and also the life that we were leading and wanted our children to lead, like, even though the children, I think Caleb always knew you were first before ministry. Yeah, yeah.
00;13;51;16 - 00;13;52;09
Speaker 4
Did you know that.
00;13;52;11 - 00;13;53;05
Speaker 2
I felt that.
00;13;53;05 - 00;14;17;23
Speaker 4
Way. Okay. We are there at church a lot, but I think your kids were always first. But that was always part of our life. Like there were times you were a great athlete. You could have played on a traveling team. But Sundays were important. And so you were at church on Sunday. Every Sunday there may have been Sundays you didn't want to be.
00;14;17;23 - 00;14;34;11
Speaker 4
So I think it was just looking at the big picture, you know, what kind of a home did we want? A family did we want? So we we did spend most of our time in our home and at church. And.
00;14;34;13 - 00;15;03;09
Speaker 4
I don't know if that's the answer you wanted, but I think it was just being faithful and consistent and loving. And for us, it was really church was about our faith and our relationship with God, but was community. And all the people that we loved were a part of that community. And they're still part of our lives today and our children's lives, you know, and I know that you go golfing with some of dad's old friends.
00;15;03;11 - 00;15;08;03
Speaker 4
Yeah. And I say old. They've been friends a long time, but they're also old.
00;15;08;04 - 00;15;10;12
Speaker 1
They're old? Yeah.
00;15;10;14 - 00;15;20;07
Speaker 4
And you're this little kid that, you know, probably tagged around, but that relationship is solid. So community was really important.
00;15;20;09 - 00;15;30;28
Speaker 2
Yeah. No. It's good. I mean, I don't have there isn't an answer I'm looking for. I think I'm curious. You said, you know, we were at church whether we wanted to be or not.
00;15;31;00 - 00;15;32;04
Speaker 4
Yes.
00;15;32;06 - 00;15;43;15
Speaker 2
Do you feel that that's a good thing? I mean, I'm just curious from you guys perspective. I mean, back then, I always joke like, oh, I have a I had a drug problem when I was a kid, right? That's the joke. I was drug to church. Time to.
00;15;43;15 - 00;15;46;02
Speaker 1
Do that. Drove to church.
00;15;46;02 - 00;15;56;00
Speaker 2
I was drug to church. That was my drug problem. That was really rough to church every Sunday and Wednesday. So, you know, I was forced to go, but I wanted to be there.
00;15;56;00 - 00;15;58;04
Speaker 4
Okay. I was going to ask you the question.
00;15;58;04 - 00;16;16;08
Speaker 2
I enjoyed church. That was where my friends were. Community was I also felt a deep connection to the Lord and the Holy Spirit from a young age. So it never was like dread. Obviously there were times I didn't I wasn't feeling it like, this is boring, you know, my kids express that, right? Tonight was boring. Today was boring.
00;16;16;08 - 00;16;35;00
Speaker 2
Whatever. Like, I'm a you're a kid, but I still like I, I didn't have a choice. And so I'm just curious, you know, as you guys look back and parents that are listening, I mean, what what do you feel like? Was that a good thing to say? You don't have a choice. You're going like it or not.
00;16;35;03 - 00;17;14;10
Speaker 1
It was a lifestyle. First of all, it was a lifestyle. And well, you know, looking back on it, I don't feel like we forced faith on you. Yeah, you were exposed to it a lot. Obviously, being now third generation men in ministry. But you know, all all four of our kids, for the most part, we're not difficult to raise.
00;17;14;12 - 00;17;39;20
Speaker 1
We had two boys, four year gap, then two girls close together, and and people ask what? You're easier to raise boys or girls. I mean, unfortunately for us, our girls were they they didn't go through the they didn't do the boy crazy stage. There wasn't drama. There wasn't drama in our home for the most part, very, very little.
00;17;39;22 - 00;18;12;11
Speaker 1
It was a place of peace, I think. So. So that's that's intentional. You create that, you pick your fights. You know, there were there were times, you know, when there's misbehaving, that happens. But, there's other times when you're navigating, you're negotiating, you know, you're not heavy handed and and ruling with an I we didn't do that.
00;18;12;13 - 00;18;14;19
Speaker 1
I don't for the most part.
00;18;14;22 - 00;18;38;10
Speaker 4
I think there was always a little bit of flexibility. I think you remember Sunday nights maybe being tired and you didn't stay home or Monday morning, we would have a singing Christmas tree performance all weekend. The kids were often in that 14 performances and Mondays. You just woke up. When you woke up, you went to school when you went to school.
00;18;38;10 - 00;18;54;03
Speaker 4
So, I mean, I think we tried to incorporate grace for all things. And I think we did try to save no for some of the big things. And tried to say yes, yes, often as we could.
00;18;54;06 - 00;19;03;13
Speaker 3
That's really good. Well, I, I, I kind of want to interject, like non pastoral family, thought because, you know, I.
00;19;03;15 - 00;19;04;18
Speaker 2
Guess you did not grow up and.
00;19;04;18 - 00;19;05;14
Speaker 4
I did not grow up in.
00;19;05;14 - 00;19;19;03
Speaker 3
This. I think we have a similar upbringing. Our parents love church, and I actually I think you could probably speak to this too. I love that it was not a choice to not go to church, because I think it gave me an excuse.
00;19;19;03 - 00;19;19;29
Speaker 2
By your double negative.
00;19;19;29 - 00;19;35;28
Speaker 3
Yeah, that was a total double negative. I'm grateful that my parents didn't give me the choice not to go, but because of the values that they had, it was this. It was more like it. This is what we do. It wasn't like they were pushing me or dragging me. It was just like, this is what we do.
00;19;35;28 - 00;19;57;20
Speaker 3
And when you do that at such a young age, my parents came to know, well, my my sisters are all raised and did First communion and the Catholic Church. I was the only one who didn't. But then my parents, raised me from the age of five in a Christian Bible believing church, by Open Bible Fellowship. And yeah, it was just this is what we do.
00;19;57;20 - 00;20;15;29
Speaker 3
So then when you understand what your value is as parents and my parents, they knew what their value was. This is just what we do. So I didn't feel forced and I didn't feel like I, I could ask necessarily like, do I have to go? And I wonder if I did ask, do I have to go if they'd let me stay home?
00;20;15;29 - 00;20;22;02
Speaker 3
As we got older and as we got busier, yes, there was that option, but not until not till I had a car.
00;20;22;05 - 00;20;39;21
Speaker 2
I even think about our kids. Like last night, my boys, they didn't want to come back. And we have a youth group on Sunday nights, and it's a long morning. And last night they didn't want to come back, but they didn't want to come back because they were playing video games. And I was like, well, why do you not want to come back?
00;20;39;24 - 00;21;05;11
Speaker 2
Oh, well, it's boring, you know, none of our friends are going and I'm like, you guys always have a good time there. Yeah. And then it really got down to like, well, we want to keep playing video games. And I'm like, well, that's not a good reason. You know, I mean, if you were really exhausted or you had homework or, or you wanted to focus on school the next day, but literally if you don't go, you're going to sit here and brain rot, playing brain rot.
00;21;05;11 - 00;21;14;08
Speaker 2
That's the game. It's hilarious. It's called Italian brain rot, I guess. What? And, it's like on Roblox, I think. Or,
00;21;14;10 - 00;21;14;22
Speaker 1
Yes.
00;21;14;22 - 00;21;33;02
Speaker 2
Yeah. And, and and I'm like, you're going to go. But there's been other nights where they were exhausted and just a few weeks ago, they're like, dad, we're so tired. They were here all day with us. And I was like, all right, you know, you guys are tired. I'm not going to force you to go. But this is the standard.
00;21;33;02 - 00;21;48;25
Speaker 2
Like we go to church, were a part of community. You guys are going to be involved in the youth ministry, right? You're going to not because we're the pastors, but because we want to instill the discipline of faith. I mean, I think so many parents now are just like, I just want to like, I want my kids to be happy.
00;21;48;25 - 00;22;11;00
Speaker 2
And I'm like, that's the dumbest thing. Because what makes them happy most often are the foolish things of this world when they're young, because they don't know what are good choices we're instilling to them discipline, responsibility, doing hard things right. Like that's my job. All the best parts about me now were instilled in me at a young age, right?
00;22;11;06 - 00;22;34;07
Speaker 2
That I like. I work harder, I'm disciplined, I'm focused, you know, and I think a lot of parents are missing it by not enforcing those things in their kids. And that includes the spiritual side of it. I was never forced to read my Bible, forced to pray right force. We didn't even do family devotions, really. I mean, we did, and so I didn't.
00;22;34;09 - 00;22;53;15
Speaker 2
And we rarely do with our kids because I'm like, I want them to do that on their own. And we do a little bit. But, but but I say all that to say, I think that there was something powerful about this is who we are. This is what we do. We're consistent, and you're a part of it with us.
00;22;53;18 - 00;22;57;23
Speaker 2
And then it gets to a point where they don't even see it as an option to not go.
00;22;57;25 - 00;23;05;22
Speaker 1
I don't I don't remember growing up like our kids when the even when again, ten years, like giving us a really hard time about going to church.
00;23;05;25 - 00;23;06;26
Speaker 3
The like I.
00;23;06;29 - 00;23;08;15
Speaker 4
Said, it was just what.
00;23;08;19 - 00;23;10;07
Speaker 1
What we do, what we do. Yeah.
00;23;10;09 - 00;23;17;26
Speaker 3
But don't you think the pendulum has swung like you've probably seen it, you know, as as long as you've lived on this earth?
00;23;17;29 - 00;23;21;17
Speaker 1
Sorry, all those years.
00;23;21;19 - 00;23;33;10
Speaker 3
But, but, you know, the pendulum has swung. It's like this is what we're doing. And then now you probably see parents our age and younger who are just willy nilly do whatever you feel like you should do.
00;23;33;13 - 00;23;35;29
Speaker 4
Well, and their little brains don't know what they should be.
00;23;35;29 - 00;23;36;25
Speaker 2
Doing. No.
00;23;36;28 - 00;24;02;17
Speaker 4
And, Caleb, I think it's funny you use that word boring. And I wonder, as parents, do we react to that because we want them to always be entertained and just captivated by something? My five year old granddaughter was at my house recently and we are doing something, and I think she was weary of that. And she goes, Mimi, your house is so boring.
00;24;02;19 - 00;24;03;29
Speaker 2
Oh wow.
00;24;04;02 - 00;24;14;22
Speaker 4
I know, and I said, really? Well, you know what? Maybe you don't have to be here, sis, if you want to do something else. And there was a slick of panic.
00;24;14;22 - 00;24;16;02
Speaker 1
Hahahahahahaha!
00;24;16;07 - 00;24;17;02
Speaker 2
No no no, I like it.
00;24;17;02 - 00;24;20;14
Speaker 1
I like being her. I really like being, I like boring.
00;24;20;16 - 00;24;32;02
Speaker 4
And I think she just wanted me to entertain her with something else. And I probably did, but she didn't mean the words that actually came out of her mouth. I don't think.
00;24;32;04 - 00;24;33;24
Speaker 3
Oh, that's so good. Do it.
00;24;33;24 - 00;24;38;09
Speaker 1
It was I what she really was saying was she was bored in the moment.
00;24;38;09 - 00;24;39;13
Speaker 4
Yes, yes.
00;24;39;14 - 00;24;41;25
Speaker 1
Your house is boring. Like what?
00;24;41;27 - 00;24;45;28
Speaker 2
But but I do think that it's a common phrase. I mean, our kids say it, so. Yeah.
00;24;45;28 - 00;24;46;15
Speaker 1
Right. Yeah.
00;24;46;16 - 00;25;11;01
Speaker 2
And and I've been encouraged him like. No, you need to learn to be bored. Yes. Like boredom is a good thing because what boredom does is it allows you and creates space for you to get creative. Yes. Right. How do I, you know, create a game? How do I find entertainment without a screen, without a device, without, you know, constant stimulation?
00;25;11;08 - 00;25;26;27
Speaker 2
These kids, you know, and so when my kids say it to me, I'm like, good. I'm glad you're bored, dad. I'm bored. Good. Figure out how to be entertained without a screen. That's, like, so usually. Right. My, my go to is like, go outside.
00;25;27;00 - 00;25;28;27
Speaker 4
Yes, I imagination.
00;25;28;29 - 00;25;34;20
Speaker 2
And, my kids are getting older too. But even years ago I'm like go outside like disappear, I don't care, I don't play.
00;25;34;24 - 00;25;38;07
Speaker 3
We say, I never told them to disappear.
00;25;38;10 - 00;25;39;25
Speaker 1
I'm like, I did go do.
00;25;39;27 - 00;25;40;10
Speaker 2
Something.
00;25;40;10 - 00;25;41;01
Speaker 1
Crazy.
00;25;41;01 - 00;25;57;16
Speaker 3
I think that is I'm a tree. Or we would tell them to draw if we ever was inside, especially on rainy days. Those are the most challenging days, I'm sure. Parents of young kids listening. The rainy days are challenging, but have them draw, have them play a game. But I, I do think it's it's number one. Yeah.
00;25;57;16 - 00;26;20;21
Speaker 3
They're bored in the moment. Number two, their vernacular or vocabulary. They don't know how to express themselves. Know that. So help them express themselves. Engage with conversation. Conversation is a lost art and our kids don't conversate well because they're always being stimulated by machines. And so I think the human interaction of conversation could lead to something, something more exciting for them.
00;26;20;24 - 00;26;41;20
Speaker 3
Conversation alone should be exciting for them and questions, and that piques their curiosity and opens up their minds. But I also think the way we teach adults in our church to engage with the Lord and to pray and get in the prayer rooms, and pray, it's like, hey, let's figure out how we can overcome boredom in the prayer room.
00;26;41;25 - 00;26;48;24
Speaker 3
And I think that's an essential, foundational skill, I think, for humanity, in order for us to connect with God, even.
00;26;48;24 - 00;27;05;19
Speaker 2
Sit in a prayer room for an hour, you'll be bored. Oh, yeah, and that's okay, because then you it's like, okay, how do I connect with the Lord in a different way in this moment? Right. So so let's take it back to this whole, I like that conversation, but the legacy of faith. And you guys did a lot, right?
00;27;05;19 - 00;27;08;12
Speaker 2
I mean, look how awesome I turned out, but.
00;27;08;14 - 00;27;09;11
Speaker 1
Oh, my gosh.
00;27;09;13 - 00;27;27;17
Speaker 2
But tell me some things that you did wrong, like, if not wrong, but maybe if you could go back, you're like, I do this different, or maybe you have no regrets and I'm fine with that too. Looking back, would you do would you have done anything different with like how you raised your kids with faith being the focus in this conversation?
00;27;27;19 - 00;28;03;06
Speaker 1
Anything you have, anything go on like honestly like when regrets when you said we didn't do family devotions, that might have been a miss knock again, didn't have to do it religiously. Yeah. But but we were so busy it was just like we were always on the go. It was really hard to make that work. It could have been, well maybe we should have had everyone ready 30 minutes before we left for school every day.
00;28;03;06 - 00;28;14;26
Speaker 1
But it was always rushing out the door. It was just hard. I, I have a question real quick. So you. Last night, the boys did come.
00;28;15;02 - 00;28;16;14
Speaker 2
I made them.
00;28;16;17 - 00;28;19;25
Speaker 1
And what was their reaction afterwards?
00;28;19;25 - 00;28;20;27
Speaker 2
They had a great time.
00;28;21;00 - 00;28;22;04
Speaker 1
See.
00;28;22;06 - 00;28;27;09
Speaker 2
They saw some of their friends. Yeah. They said, shout out Pastor Sam preached a great word.
00;28;27;11 - 00;28;27;20
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00;28;27;22 - 00;28;31;01
Speaker 2
And they they didn't pay attention to my message that morning. So they.
00;28;31;04 - 00;28;31;25
Speaker 1
You know, like it.
00;28;31;25 - 00;28;32;09
Speaker 4
Was great.
00;28;32;09 - 00;28;41;20
Speaker 2
Right? They were like, oh yeah, it was awesome. And, you know, it's a it was an hour and a half of their day. So they were glad they went when all all was said and done.
00;28;41;23 - 00;28;52;24
Speaker 3
Can you imagine they just sat on their devices at home for an hour and a half. Oh my goodness that option of us driving them. And I know we live close, but the option of us driving them is.
00;28;53;01 - 00;28;57;12
Speaker 1
Sometimes it's easier to say, okay, yeah, I got to stay home.
00;28;57;15 - 00;29;18;14
Speaker 2
Yeah. But but I mean I'm going. They were in the presence of God. They worship. They heard the message. They were in community. Yeah. That was worth me driving. And me saying, sorry, we're going to go. Even though you're like, I don't want to go. And if you had a good reason, maybe. But you didn't. So any regrets, mom?
00;29;18;21 - 00;29;19;27
Speaker 4
Oh, absolutely.
00;29;19;29 - 00;29;22;07
Speaker 2
Really? Okay. Dad didn't have any.
00;29;22;09 - 00;29;23;24
Speaker 1
Yeah. No. I see that's.
00;29;23;24 - 00;29;25;25
Speaker 4
Dad's peaceful nature, you know?
00;29;25;25 - 00;29;28;03
Speaker 3
Yeah, yeah. Being that peaceful, I'm.
00;29;28;04 - 00;29;30;12
Speaker 1
I'm a plotter, so.
00;29;30;14 - 00;29;40;13
Speaker 2
Yeah. Well, you said devotions. You, us, maybe found space to do some devotions. Yeah. Okay. Anything for you, mom?
00;29;40;15 - 00;29;52;03
Speaker 4
I think probably things we worry about or feel like are more important than they are.
00;29;52;06 - 00;29;52;26
Speaker 2
Such as?
00;29;53;00 - 00;29;54;12
Speaker 1
Oh.
00;29;54;14 - 00;30;20;09
Speaker 4
Okay. This is a horrible memory I have of getting. Of course. Dad would go early on Sunday mornings. I'm getting all four little kids out the door, and the house was a disaster, and that really bothered me. And I remember saying the words out loud that I had heard my mother say. And I hope you've never said this, Chrissy, this house is a pigsty.
00;30;20;11 - 00;30;23;18
Speaker 3
I already have and was not.
00;30;23;21 - 00;30;39;01
Speaker 4
And it was. And looking back, my son is in recent years just kind of confirmed to me that I have some control issues. So it's probably related to that when my house was a mess. Right? I felt you.
00;30;39;01 - 00;30;40;00
Speaker 1
Felt out of control, out of.
00;30;40;00 - 00;30;53;17
Speaker 4
Control. And so I wish it wouldn't have mattered if it was a mess because there were six people living in it and it didn't. It always looked like a model home, and now it looks like a model home, a.
00;30;53;17 - 00;30;54;21
Speaker 1
Lot like.
00;30;54;21 - 00;30;58;10
Speaker 4
Quiet and lonely and.
00;30;58;13 - 00;30;59;02
Speaker 1
Really?
00;30;59;02 - 00;31;02;14
Speaker 2
And sad, but but clean but clean.
00;31;02;16 - 00;31;04;29
Speaker 1
But I, I hope but they can control.
00;31;05;00 - 00;31;05;19
Speaker 4
I don't pristine.
00;31;05;23 - 00;31;16;15
Speaker 3
Yeah. Well, that's I, that is a conversation I have with women and moms, my kids age and younger. Really almost. I mean, every time I'm in a.
00;31;16;15 - 00;31;20;07
Speaker 2
Conversation, you guys just brought up a topic that probably everyone deals with.
00;31;20;09 - 00;31;21;18
Speaker 3
Absolutely.
00;31;21;20 - 00;31;22;29
Speaker 2
Moms about. This is great.
00;31;22;29 - 00;31;32;08
Speaker 3
All of us moms do. And, me and Nicole, we talk about it often. You know, she's one of your daughter's best friends. A little OCD.
00;31;32;08 - 00;31;32;16
Speaker 2
Like.
00;31;32;16 - 00;31;34;06
Speaker 3
You. Yes. She is.
00;31;34;08 - 00;31;35;00
Speaker 1
Brown child.
00;31;35;00 - 00;32;05;25
Speaker 3
Yes. Two Brownstown, number one, Brown, channel two. But we talk about it all the time and we're like, what is wrong with us? And it really stems from a place of fear. We think as women that we don't have control, that we're not enough. And when I see my kids acting this way, I'm just and I and I've, I've had this conversation with the boys and they absolutely understand emotionally what I'm dealing with because I've said, I'm sorry, guys, that I yelled, I'm sorry because I'm just afraid I'm not doing a good job teaching you how to clean up.
00;32;05;27 - 00;32;13;14
Speaker 3
And I'm losing my mind. Not because you guys are terrible, but because I actually think I am not doing a good job.
00;32;13;16 - 00;32;15;18
Speaker 4
And so that they're failing. Yes.
00;32;15;18 - 00;32;38;22
Speaker 3
You're. So I've had to say that I apologize. I feel like too much. There's a book, loving your kids on purpose, Danny self incredible book. And it's really teaching parents to give your children freedom to feel freedom to make choices. And, I was like, yes, this is the way I'm going to go. And then at one point that book said, but don't be the parent that apologizes all the time.
00;32;38;22 - 00;32;52;27
Speaker 3
And I go, crap. I apologize often, so I feel like there is a there there. There has to be this level of getting better, but also honesty, vulnerability with your children because I think that builds into them. Emotional intelligence.
00;32;53;00 - 00;33;08;14
Speaker 2
So is the the regret that you just would have given yourself more grace, or you would have cared less about things that maybe weren't as important? Is that what you're saying?
00;33;08;16 - 00;33;09;12
Speaker 4
Maybe both.
00;33;09;19 - 00;33;10;27
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00;33;10;29 - 00;33;12;06
Speaker 4
Maybe both.
00;33;12;09 - 00;33;32;28
Speaker 2
Yeah. And I think like, this is real, right? Like we have three kids. It's so easy. Especially as busy as we are. Like, you guys were like, the house can actually end up being an afterthought. You know, you're gone all day Sunday. You get home late, you try to eat something real quick, everyone's exhausted, goes to sleep, you know, the next morning.
00;33;32;28 - 00;33;35;29
Speaker 2
Oh, we got to get here for a podcast as well.
00;33;36;06 - 00;33;37;00
Speaker 3
In my mind this.
00;33;37;00 - 00;33;38;04
Speaker 2
Morning, the out the door.
00;33;38;04 - 00;33;40;26
Speaker 4
Chrissy, my bed is unmade. No.
00;33;40;28 - 00;34;16;20
Speaker 2
And and the you know. And so then there's all this these emotions attached to when the house doesn't feel like a peace, peaceful place. But I do think there's something about finding space to create an environment in your home where it can be a place of peace. And if it is a disaster and we're not ever cleaning up and we're not, you know, being disciplined, maybe Monday afternoon when everyone gets home to say, hey, let's all take an hour and do a clean real quick and we can make this place feel better.
00;34;16;22 - 00;34;33;07
Speaker 2
And if we're there is a laziness that can come in. Yeah. And then we wonder why our life feels out of control. Because the the place that probably we have the most control and could create an environment of peace. And we want our home to be a place of peace. We can ignore and we're guilty of that.
00;34;33;07 - 00;34;55;23
Speaker 2
And so I think it's a real tension that a lot of people are probably dealing with in their homes. And this is maybe getting a little off topic of the legacy of faith. But I do think we're better in our faith when there's peace around us. God wants us to have peace. God's a God of order. And so maybe this is my challenge to everyone to say, okay, we need to be more diligent, disciplined in making our home.
00;34;55;26 - 00;34;56;11
Speaker 3
A place of.
00;34;56;11 - 00;35;11;05
Speaker 2
Peace, a place of peace and orderly, while also not putting pressure on ourselves when sometimes on a Sunday morning we're trying to get to the house of God. And it's a little chaotic, and we go, it's okay. Yeah. And we give ourselves grace in those moments.
00;35;11;10 - 00;35;32;21
Speaker 3
Yeah, we're not going for perfection, but we're going for good stewardship. And it's a really I mean, one of the things that we'll do is when I'm at my limit, I just, I probably need to calm down when I do this, but I'm like, everybody turn the television off, turn the television off every screen off, because the television totally distracts the children.
00;35;32;24 - 00;35;48;29
Speaker 3
And I'm like, I don't even even if they're not watching the buzz of it, the hum of it, it's just so distracting. So. And they'll just stop in the middle of what they're doing. They'll just look at whatever's on the TV. So I'm like, turn everything off. We just need to focus for, like, give me 30 minutes.
00;35;48;29 - 00;36;04;06
Speaker 3
We just need to focus. So. And I also don't want them to have I don't want them to have the habit of resting with the television. It's just not my personal preference. So that's probably something I need to work through internally because it.
00;36;04;08 - 00;36;04;27
Speaker 2
We battle.
00;36;04;27 - 00;36;05;28
Speaker 3
It. Yeah.
00;36;06;01 - 00;36;07;06
Speaker 4
We battled it too.
00;36;07;13 - 00;36;10;28
Speaker 1
I for 45 years.
00;36;11;01 - 00;36;15;21
Speaker 3
I don't like the TV. When he's not home, I won't even watch television.
00;36;15;21 - 00;36;19;11
Speaker 4
I don't even know how to turn it on. Hahahahaha!
00;36;19;12 - 00;36;21;11
Speaker 1
That's true.
00;36;21;14 - 00;36;23;03
Speaker 3
There's so many remote control.
00;36;23;05 - 00;36;35;06
Speaker 2
I don't know how to turn it on. That's real. Yeah, yeah, but I think it's funny. You know, like, even for Christine, I, you know, we we have to, of course, like, you guys, you got to tag team your home.
00;36;35;14 - 00;36;37;07
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's a team. It's a teamwork.
00;36;37;08 - 00;36;56;04
Speaker 2
It has to be team and we have to include the kids, right? Like, yes. Like, they're getting older now, so they're doing more. They have more responsibilities and it's beyond just their home or sorry, their rooms. Like, hey, you guys have to contribute to the home as a whole. But there was a couple weeks ago where Percy had and I'm going to give myself a little props.
00;36;56;04 - 00;37;16;17
Speaker 2
I don't always do this. Percy had we both had a crazy weekend, and I got home with just Charlie because the boys were at a sleepover and Christie was at an event all night. After all day event, she was going to get home at like 10 p.m. and I knew she was exhausted. She had kind of overwhelmed herself doing multiple events in a row.
00;37;16;18 - 00;37;49;11
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got home and the house was a mess. And it's like night, maybe 830 at night, and I'm exhausted. And I just asked my daughter, I just said, Charlie, will you help me for one hour? Let's clean as much as we can the whole downstairs. So when mom gets home like it's peace. And she was like, I'm in dad and me and Charlie, I think it only took us like 45 minutes, but 45 minutes of focused cleaning.
00;37;49;14 - 00;38;14;05
Speaker 2
We both were going, you know, 100 miles an hour. We finished. We were able to rest. After that. She got home and was like, oh my goodness, like what just happened? But that's just an example of like, I think so often it was hard for me. I'm not going to lie, it would have been way easier for me to just turn the television on, but it was a moment of like, I knew that my home needed peace, my wife needed peace.
00;38;14;11 - 00;38;21;04
Speaker 2
Even I think my daughter and she was a part of it with me. And actually we like high fived. At the end, we had our own little moment like, oh my.
00;38;21;07 - 00;38;21;27
Speaker 1
I killed it.
00;38;21;28 - 00;38;41;18
Speaker 3
I walked in to the house. It was I was so blessed. I posted it and I just like, look at my house. And I just I did give him props. And I think some of us ladies, when we get overwhelmed and we forget the little things that our husbands do and we only see the flaws in them, and we only see the fact that he loves television or sports.
00;38;41;23 - 00;38;55;29
Speaker 3
But in those moments, I think we should celebrate. That's the kind of stuff that we should amplify in our lives, on our social media. I was so grateful. That was such an overwhelming week. And it was, it was it was just the best. Thanks.
00;38;55;29 - 00;39;01;18
Speaker 1
And that's I think that's there's a word for what you did. It's called leadership.
00;39;01;21 - 00;39;02;16
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00;39;02;19 - 00;39;25;16
Speaker 1
We need men. I'm. I can just speak to men. Right? Yes. Men need to be leaders in all areas of life, even in housekeeping. You know, when you were when the kids were small, you were a stay at home mom. But did I still help with some of the housework and such.
00;39;25;18 - 00;39;26;17
Speaker 4
Yes.
00;39;26;20 - 00;39;45;08
Speaker 1
I try to follow up for a minute. I was going to go. Yeah I tried to model that. You saw it. Yeah. Because now I see you doing that in your home. Yeah. You're not above you know. Yeah. Yeah. Cleaning the kitchen. Washing dishes.
00;39;45;08 - 00;39;47;05
Speaker 3
Yeah. We have a folding laundry.
00;39;47;05 - 00;39;55;03
Speaker 1
Putting it away, doing laundry. I for it for years now. I do all my own to this day. I do my own laundry.
00;39;55;06 - 00;40;09;18
Speaker 3
Yeah. It was a fight for us to have him get do as laundry. But here's the thing. I wanted to do it because I felt like that was my role, but I wasn't keeping up with it. And I was like, no, I got it, I got it, and I was like, this is my role. It happened after Do.
00;40;09;20 - 00;40;11;20
Speaker 1
Yeah, you did too. Yeah. That's funny.
00;40;11;20 - 00;40;28;06
Speaker 3
It happened after we had Charlie because it was way too much laundry. And then I was just I was trying to hold on to it like, this is my call as a woman of God and and, you know, keeper of this house. And he's like, can you just let me do it? And I go, thank you.
00;40;28;08 - 00;40;34;23
Speaker 2
Yeah. That was the shift. And so that's a good example of like in marriage, like life evolves.
00;40;34;23 - 00;40;35;06
Speaker 3
Yes.
00;40;35;11 - 00;40;58;18
Speaker 2
Right. Like in in their seasons. Their seasons. Yes. In the legacy of faith for your home. Like it evolves. Like we've changed how we've led our kids, how we operate in our home. Like you have to. Right. And so I'm sure you guys you know looking back it's like you went through the seasons of, of even taking care of home, taking care of kids leading them in, in faith.
00;40;58;21 - 00;41;20;18
Speaker 2
But I want to ask to, to wrap up our conversation, I want to ask like for, for the end of our lives, the transition. I would just say high school. I want to hear about a little bit from you guys about how you lead us in faith when we are in high school, because now we're we're turning into young adults.
00;41;20;20 - 00;41;35;17
Speaker 2
You're shifting to a more of a coaching probably role for us. And then we turned 18. You had to let us go. So talk to me. That kind of at the end of this conversation, like talk to me about that piece, because I do think there's people that are there or getting there.
00;41;35;20 - 00;41;38;06
Speaker 4
So high school or college, which both.
00;41;38;11 - 00;41;47;03
Speaker 2
Like how did you kind of coach us through those final years in your home and then let us go? And how'd you do that? Well, because I think you guys did do that.
00;41;47;03 - 00;42;10;25
Speaker 4
Well, I think we I think we felt you were prepared, didn't we, babe? And then supported you in the next step. Like, I remember Caleb when you went away. We went with you. We got you settled, we did your room, and we tried to go back at least once or twice a year to watch basketball stay in contact.
00;42;10;25 - 00;42;18;12
Speaker 4
Probably. I didn't send you enough money, though. I know you sold blood for food, but,
00;42;18;15 - 00;42;20;11
Speaker 1
I sold plasma. Plasma?
00;42;20;12 - 00;42;23;12
Speaker 2
They took my blood. Took the plasma. I'll put the blood back in me.
00;42;23;12 - 00;42;25;21
Speaker 4
So there you go. Okay.
00;42;25;23 - 00;42;27;29
Speaker 1
Not for food, for money. It's just.
00;42;28;02 - 00;42;44;16
Speaker 4
I guess for me, maybe it was the peace. The trust that you have. You have God. You've given me these lives to steward and raise. And I did great at some things. Others I wish I would have done differently. But I did my best.
00;42;44;19 - 00;42;45;00
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00;42;45;00 - 00;43;22;09
Speaker 4
And now I'm releasing them and I think I'm entrusting them back to you because I can't be there. Yeah, I, I can't say good night or good morning or do their laundry or pray with them or counsel that girl through the boy thing. You know, her junior year of college, I can't from a distance, but it was really, I think, a place of trust, feeling like we had done our best and we had prepared each one of them in their own way to go to that next place.
00;43;22;12 - 00;43;31;15
Speaker 4
And, you know, I think you have you lose more sleep when your kids are in college, when they're in high school, for sure.
00;43;31;15 - 00;43;59;12
Speaker 1
Because it is it's a release again of control. But you have so much control over their lives, and then they're out of your home and you have very little, if any, control. I heard a I heard a Canadian philosopher educator say this recently. I'm like, wow, that's really good. And I think if you've done this, you it's easier to release them, he said.
00;43;59;15 - 00;44;29;11
Speaker 1
Children need to do dangerous things carefully. Yeah I'm like, oh wow I mean that, that is powerful. And it's true. They've gotta learn that the stove is hot you know. Then they go, they go out into the world and they gotta figure out who they can trust and who they can't and make their own decisions and then live with the consequences of the decisions.
00;44;29;13 - 00;44;53;09
Speaker 1
It's a releasing and, and, and that's, it's hard to do it, but it, it's, you know, it's it's the cycle of life. It it has to be done. Yeah. And I hate to tell you guys this, but in four years, I know your baby is going to be 18.
00;44;53;16 - 00;45;01;20
Speaker 4
I think we cried all the way back to Sacramento from Springfield, Missouri on that plane. Like, was that wrong?
00;45;01;20 - 00;45;03;10
Speaker 1
He's only. Yeah, it almost felt wrong.
00;45;03;10 - 00;45;16;18
Speaker 4
He just turned 18 years old. And we're in trusting him. You know, into, I don't know, the hands of professors and coaches and yeah, that's a whole other thing. Right.
00;45;16;18 - 00;45;23;15
Speaker 1
And and the coach was a piece of work. Oh, bad. That's true. That's another conversation.
00;45;23;15 - 00;45;51;27
Speaker 2
That's another conversation. How I endured that. But, what I think you guys did well, and this is what I want to encourage parents with, is I felt like I knew the standard and what was expected of me. This is who we are. This is what we do. I felt like there was a vision for our family in our lives, but I never felt like controlled or like there is an overbearing nature of my parents.
00;45;52;00 - 00;46;16;12
Speaker 2
I think that you guys weren't helicopter parents. You let us make decisions, you let us fail. And I think that's why I made a lot of right decisions. Because at a young age, I was entrusted to choose. And I think the issue that I see and I'm going to talk to parents is like, it's just a helicopter parent generation.
00;46;16;14 - 00;46;39;02
Speaker 2
And if you don't ever let your kids choose anything, yeah. And you choose everything for them. Then when they have the opportunity to choose, they don't know how to choose. They don't know how to weigh the pros and cons and what's the right, wrong decision. And and so I think we have to empower our kids at some point to try, try dangerous thing.
00;46;39;04 - 00;46;54;26
Speaker 2
Yeah. You know, like I'm even thinking practically like we, when my kids were young, I'm like, go ahead. Like, yeah, ride your bikes. Go. Dad, can we go across the street to the to the gas station and buy snacks? Go for it. And Chrissy's a little more.
00;46;54;26 - 00;46;55;24
Speaker 3
Like I was timid about.
00;46;55;24 - 00;47;28;15
Speaker 2
It. And so we had to. Yeah. You know find an agreement because I'm like no push your boundaries like test because what I found is yes we need to protect them and they have to do dangerous things carefully. But the real world is coming home and they have to learn what boundaries are, how to test those. And, I mean, I've read all these studies recently, just about kids and how they're not learning to test their boundaries and the dangers and what's happening to them because of it and why there are, you know, poor decision makers now.
00;47;28;17 - 00;47;45;20
Speaker 2
And so I think that's something you guys did really well. Here's a standard, here's, you know, vision legacy for our family, but you still get to make choices within that. And I think that that's why your children have, for the most part, made a lot of good choices in their lives.
00;47;45;22 - 00;48;05;25
Speaker 3
I would say from the outside looking in, not having been raised by you, but now being a part of your family, I think one of the, testaments of your faith and your success in raising your children is the fact that we all want to be with you. Like like Caleb and his three siblings. I'm about to cry.
00;48;05;27 - 00;48;41;29
Speaker 3
And all of your. Children in law. We all want to hang out with you. We all want to be with you. We all want to sit at your feet. We want to hear from you. We want to lean in and we want to spend time with you. And if I think about what I'm building now and where I've gone wrong and how I've done things well, like the goal in my mind is that they would want to be with me when they come back from college, that they can't wait to introduce their future spouse to me, and I want to be along for the journey.
00;48;41;29 - 00;49;05;08
Speaker 3
But, I feel like I'm a recipient of the faith that you guys have walked out and the success of how you've raised all four of your children. And I'm grateful that my kids want to be with you. They want to be a part of your lives, and they want you to be a part of theirs. So I would say, you've done a great job as an in-law.
00;49;05;11 - 00;49;15;10
Speaker 3
I've seen it and I've benefited from it tremendously. So I knew I was going to cry. I just I didn't think it was going to happen. And then you got kind of serious and.
00;49;15;13 - 00;49;16;21
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.
00;49;16;23 - 00;49;29;03
Speaker 2
So thank you guys for your legacy of faith that you've passed on to us and is, I believe, going to continue to be generational through our kids and hopefully our kids kids. And, I just,
00;49;29;05 - 00;50;01;09
Speaker 4
We sang yesterday and you mentioned it. Two Jesus changes everything. Yeah. And I actually thought of some of what you're sharing yesterday. Just worshiping, you know, just the legacy that my parents left and your parents left and hopefully that we're leaving. And now you can you continue that? And if it wasn't for him, I don't think we'd be sitting here having this conversation.
00;50;01;09 - 00;50;03;22
Speaker 4
So I'm grateful.
00;50;03;25 - 00;50;26;25
Speaker 1
It's a big it's a Chris. Yeah. It's it's a big experiment. Life is it. We raise our kids differently I think, than we were raised. Yeah. And we grew up in very different homes. Like I was one of two children. Our our home was quiet, was peaceful. At night, you go to your room and you close your door.
00;50;26;25 - 00;50;54;05
Speaker 1
Everyone had their space. Her house was for kids doors wide open. Yeah, yeah. You know your feelings. Where are your feelings? On your sleeve and. Right. I mean, it was a little. It was. So we had to. We had to figure that out. Yeah. And I think we came somewhere in into the middle and we found a balance somewhere there in in the middle.
00;50;54;08 - 00;51;08;24
Speaker 1
I'm sure you're raising your kids differently than we did. Yeah, part of it is, I mean, the culture changes and things. Things are way different now. Like you didn't grow up with video games. I mean, you did, but what was it?
00;51;08;26 - 00;51;11;05
Speaker 2
You know, Nintendo and then Sega Genesis.
00;51;11;08 - 00;51;14;08
Speaker 1
One console, one kids. It was like pong.
00;51;14;08 - 00;51;16;04
Speaker 2
And I'm not that old.
00;51;16;06 - 00;51;39;28
Speaker 1
Yeah. I guess for me it was, yeah, but anyway, you it's just a big experiment. And then you talked about the transition from high school and college, and I remember, you know, in my early 50s, I became an empty nester. Looking back on it, I think I was going through a crises, like, who am I now?
00;51;40;00 - 00;52;00;11
Speaker 1
Right? I was Caleb's dad, Luke's dad, Britt's dad, Kate's dad. Who am I now? Yeah. They're gone, you know, they're all they're all up. They're starting to live their own lives and and and so yeah. Geez. Do you think that was what was going on with me.
00;52;00;13 - 00;52;01;25
Speaker 2
So you started writing a lot of books.
00;52;01;26 - 00;52;04;01
Speaker 1
I started up doing all kinds of.
00;52;04;01 - 00;52;04;28
Speaker 2
Hunting.
00;52;05;06 - 00;52;06;23
Speaker 4
Climbing Kilimanjaro, buying.
00;52;06;23 - 00;52;07;19
Speaker 1
Guns.
00;52;07;26 - 00;52;11;13
Speaker 4
I mean, if you're going to have a midlife crisis. He did it really well.
00;52;11;14 - 00;52;12;10
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00;52;12;12 - 00;52;43;16
Speaker 2
Well, I've told people like, that that we all have obviously vices. And we were just talking about this, that my, my vice has been physical activity and sometimes do it to the detriment. Kristi, I'll tell you because I'm like, I always got to be doing it like somebody else. Go to the gym, play basketball, play golf, play golf, like run, workout like I just got to be, give me something.
00;52;43;16 - 00;53;03;16
Speaker 2
Activity. Go play pickleball. You know? But in terms of if you have some, at least it's a healthy one, right? Thank God I'm not drinking or going to food or going, you know, whatever it might be. But it can be a detriment too, because sometimes my wife is like, hey, can you just, like, be here? Hey, can you just, like, stop?
00;53;03;16 - 00;53;11;01
Speaker 2
And can we talk and spend some time together? And I'm like, okay, let's go golf together. You know, like, I get the most best.
00;53;11;01 - 00;53;12;12
Speaker 1
Of both worlds. Go play pickleball.
00;53;12;14 - 00;53;33;23
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah. But I've realized, like, hey, we all have to manage our emotions so that we can walk out our faith journey well. And so how do we do that? And we do need to find healthy outlets. Yeah, but we also need to acknowledge when those even healthy outlets can become unhealthy, if it becomes something that's where we're avoiding.
00;53;33;25 - 00;53;56;00
Speaker 2
Right? I'm avoiding what's really go on internally. I'm avoiding maybe connecting with my spouse, avoiding whatever. And so I feel like you guys set a great example for us, you know, of just like, hey, you weren't perfect. You know, I wasn't perfect, all right? I know that looking back and I'm not a perfect husband, but I'm trying to be better now than I've ever been.
00;53;56;02 - 00;54;09;06
Speaker 2
And I think you guys have set that example for us, too, so. Well, thank you guys. Thanks for joining us on The Men of Faith and sisterhood podcast. We, this was one conversation I think we got to have, you know, Mom and Dad, Randy and Joanne back.
00;54;09;06 - 00;54;10;26
Speaker 3
Yeah, for sure.
00;54;10;29 - 00;54;13;07
Speaker 2
And we got more because we can't let this be your I thought.
00;54;13;07 - 00;54;14;16
Speaker 1
It would be one and done, but.
00;54;14;21 - 00;54;34;28
Speaker 2
It can't be your first and last podcast, you know, so we'll have them back. But hey, thanks for joining us. If you're getting great content and you're being encouraged by these podcasts, do us a favor. Like the video. Also, share it with a friend. Subscribe to the Project Church YouTube channel. If you're on Instagram, follow them in a faith pod and.
00;54;35;01 - 00;54;36;14
Speaker 3
The Project Sisterhood podcast.
00;54;36;16 - 00;54;46;24
Speaker 2
So follow us on Instagram. We post clips whenever new episodes are coming out. We'll come out with new episodes every Friday. So hey, love you guys. Thanks for joining us. Thanks again.
00;54;46;25 - 00;54;47;19
Speaker 3
Thank you.
00;54;47;22 - 00;54;50;26
Speaker 2
I love you guys. Love you grace and peace everybody.