The Truth About What You’re Seeing on Social Media

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Topics discussed:

• 00:00 Welcome Back
• 00:31 New Strength Goals
• 01:51 Why I’m Starting YouTube
• 07:04 3 Women, 3 Lessons
• 08:49 Story #1: The Bikini Pro With Unreal Quads
• 13:59 Story #2: “Just Walking More” vs The Real Reason She Got Shredded
• 17:11 Story #3: The 5'1 Shredded ‘Unicorn’
• 24:50 What It Means for You
• 27:42 Wrap-Up

Creators and Guests

Host

Lindsay

Wife and mother of three. I have a deep passion for learning and teaching. I also really love lifting weights and fitness.

What is LiftingLindsay's More Than Fitness?

Dive into the joy of fitness with Lindsay and other guests exploring how it goes well and beyond the gym floor, the number on the scale, the size of your waist or the calories you're counting.

Speaker: Hey guys.

Welcome.

Welcome to the Lifting Lindsay podcast.

I am so excited to be here.

I feel like it's been forever because
it has been, it's been like two months

since we've chatted, so I'm excited.

a lot has happened.

Uh, it's 2026 now.

I've turned 41.

I hit a two 60 deadlift.

That's double my weight.

So I was really excited about that.

A lot of you were awesome and joined
me for the live where I did that.

And then this year I have a goal
of hitting a 300 pound deadlift.

So.

I've never really, really
focused on strength training.

You know, a lot of you are gonna be like,
wait, but all you do is strength training.

What I mean by that is kind of more of
like power lifting, like pure strength,

trying to move as much weight as possible.

Right.

A lot of my stuff is hypertrophy work.

So we are looking at building muscle.

Size and strength, but it's not
pure, uh, strength or neurological

or power lifting type training.

So those are a little different.

And in my next podcast episode,
I'm actually gonna go over my goals

hitting the 300 pound, uh, deadlift.

How I'm programming now that deadlift.

My once a week, you know,
strength training for that.

I'll walk you through that.

I'll also walk you through a goal that
I have of hitting 20 pull-ups, and I'm

really excited about that and what I'm
doing right now to kind of move through a

strength phase to help me get more reps.

Right now I'm kind of stuck at
10, so that is the next episode.

I'm excited for that one.

and I'll also share how you
can get your first pull-up now.

Today's episode.

You know, with 2026, I'm one of those
between Christmas and the new Year, I

love thinking about like, new goals.

Like, what am I gonna do?

And I also love looking back on
the past year and been like, you

know what, what did I accomplish?

And am I becoming the person?

That I wanna be and where are my
gaps and how can I fill them in,

you know, joyful, progressive ways.

So, so I was just thinking about
that and, and part of that thinking

was how can I serve you better?

How can I serve this community better?

What can I do to help educate you
or what can I highlight this year?

And the thing that kept coming to me over
and over again was to start a YouTube

channel where I can give longer format.

And a lot of it is going to actually
be focused on how can I help you

navigate social media better?

I know that that kind of sounds funny,
but, but think about it, when it is

hard to navigate health and fitness
on social media because there are so,

there so many opinions out there and.

The information a lot of times
are just, it's wildly different.

Okay.

Let me, let me just use
this as an illustration.

The other day I was on, reels and
I was just kinda scrolling and.

Up popped up this video where
this guy, I, I was dying.

I was laughing so hard.

I actually sent it to my husband and
he came in the room and he was laughing

so hard, but, okay, I'll explain
why we were both laughing so hard at

this because this guy, he nailed it.

He nailed the marketing,
he nailed the real.

He had millions of views.

He had like 20,000
likes, and he nailed it.

It was like at the very beginning
of the reel, it was like,

you're doing biceps curls wrong.

It's like, oh, well I
wanna stay and watch.

Am I doing it wrong?

Right.

So it, the hook was just like amazing.

And then he, he flashed a picture of.

anatomy, picture of the
biceps, and this is the biceps.

And, and then he starts using
technical words like inertia,

and you have this sticky point
where you're fighting inertia.

And I was like, okay.

And he kept using inertia, that word.

And I'm like, uh, what's that
one part of, uh, princess Bride?

When he is like, you keep using that word.

I do not think it means what
you think it means anyways.

It was so funny because I'm like,
I dunno, I think we have different

definitions of inertia and then he's
like, the muscle, the strength curve

is like this and we wanna flatten it.

And I'm like, well, I don't
think we can flat strength.

Do you mean I don't think
you mean strength curve.

I mean, I think you mean resistance
profile and that's fine, but,

but once again, you, you can't.

Flat in that.

And anyways, it was just really funny
and he's, he's big and muscular and

using all the right words and all of a
sudden graphs are flashing in and, and

people are like, wow, this is amazing.

And anyways, I sent it to Alex and he
walked in and he is laughing so hard

and he's like, I think every single
word he used so many big words, and

I think every single one of 'em.

I don't think he knows the definition.

I'm like, that's exactly
what I was laughing about.

And I'm like, but he, he did, he
checked every single box in what

makes, like it pulls you in, right?

And like he's muscular.

Check.

He, he uses anatomy, pictures, check.

He used this graph, check.

He has all these big words.

Check all of them.

Were wrong.

Check, check.

And I'm like, this is literally, this
is, and I told Alex, this is what's

wrong with the fitness industry.

This is it.

Like he literally came to this crazy
conclusion based off of what looked

intelligent, but was way off base.

He didn't even know basic, like, you
know, used all the big words, but

didn't even know what they meant.

But yet.

People who are just trying to live
their lives and have lives and have

families, and have jobs, they don't,
they don't have time to read about

all of these things and, and know it.

They haven't studied it.

This isn't their jam.

So that was so convincing,

and I told Alex, I'm like, I want to
help people navigate this better because

he literally showed you a worse way.

To do a biceps curl telling you that
he could ch it was, Aw, it was awful.

It was.

And I was just like, ah, this
is, how can I help my community?

How can I help them navigate social
media better because it is so hard?

And that is what kept coming
to my mind over and over again.

And as I was thinking about it over
the past few weeks, I've had some

experiences that just kind of came to
my mind and, I want to use three women

and three experiences to illustrate
this whole idea of we've got to be

better at navigating social media.

And maybe how we can, and I'm, I'm hoping
that using these three women can help

open our minds a little bit, because
often what we do is we compare our private

lives to someone's public highlight reel.

And what we're seeing is a, is
little glimpse and, not necessarily

the full helpful information.

Now, before I go into this, I, I
do wanna say really clearly that

these three women are wonderful.

This is not a dig at anyone.

This is not calling anyone out.

This is not tearing anyone down.

This is to hopefully open
your eyes about a few things.

Okay?

Because I really have, I've been thinking
how can I serve you better this year?

And I really think that this might be it.

Helping you learn how to filter a little
bit better what we see, and helping

you understand that yes, there are
principles we can learn from one another,

but we are also still very individual.

We are not all working
with the same canvas.

We have different heights, different
genetics, different muscle insertions,

different hormone environments, different
stress levels, different life seasons.

If we don't understand that social
media can really mess with us.

So let me kind of go through
three stories, which I feel

like illustrates this very well.

the first is a woman, someone
at the gym that I actually

really look up to and love.

She's a professional bikini, bodybuilder.

She comes in, she works
hard, she's kind to people.

She isn't showy, just disciplined,
just gets in, works hard.

This woman has literally the most
incredible quads on planet Earth.

I swear.

I swear, I'm not exaggerating.

They're unbelievable.

And I finally gained enough courage this
past year to walk up to her and tell

her in the least creepy possible way.

I'm obsessed with her legs.

Okay, I didn't say that.

I did not say that, but I, I'm
like, okay, how can I not be creepy?

Like, go up, talk to her, Lindsay.

Don't be creepy though.

Don't be creepy.

Anyways, I just told her, you
have an incredible physique.

You come in here and you work so hard,
and I honestly, I love your quads.

Um, she laughed and said, what's
funny about that is genetically,

they're actually too big for my sport.

So when I compete, I've been told
multiple times they need to be smaller.

So she said, so I don't train them at
all and this is just what they look like.

And she's like even kind of hoping
they continue to like, they atrophy a

little bit, but I don't, I don't know
if they will pass this point, but she's

like, I don't even touch them and this
is just what they look like and I just

want you to kind of let that sink in.

Okay.

This woman whose quads I
admire so much doesn't even.

Train squat ever.

So all of her glute stuff, all of her
hamstring stuff, she's trying to stay

away from squat patterns and she's
doing a lot more hinge because squat

is gonna be recruiting more quad.

So she goes in and she does a lot of
glute stuff, but as best as possible,

limiting anything that will touch quads.

Isn't that so funny?

So the hard thing about social media.

Is oftentimes we look at someone and
think, oh, I better do what they do so

that I can look like them, so I'm gonna
do their workout so that I look like them.

Well, imagine if I tried to do that.

If I'm like, oh, I love her body.

I love her quads.

Okay, I better do her workout
then, so that I, no, no, my,

my quads would, would atrophy.

They would disappear because
I have worked so hard over the

past 10 years to build my quads.

Like those of you who've seen
my before and after picture.

The before picture is like a pencil.

The after picture, I have like tripled
my quads and they're still not where they

want, where I want to be, but genetically,
me and this woman just built differently.

So it really is so fascinating.

Genetics do play such a massive
role, and this is once again,

why I want to do a YouTube.

channel so that I can show you guys, show
you origin points, insertion points, how

those change muscle, how bone structure
can change the look of a muscle.

How I want to dive into all of this
with you because we live in this world

right now where people think, oh.

F I'm following this girl on Instagram.

She has incredible quads and
maybe she points to her quads

and says, you know, like, do this
to have my long, lean muscles.

It's like, well, one, unless you're her
height, you're not gonna have longer

muscle tissue than what you have.

So that's like already a huge red flag.

And a lot of what she has
may just be due to genetics.

So we have to be so cautious when you,
when you do those exercises, One thing

that's kind of frustrating for me
looking at social media is sometimes I'll

look at the exercises that they share
and I'm like, those are not even quad

exercises Nobody's building your quads.

With that, unless they already
have your exact genetics, I thought

that story was so funny to me.

'cause I'm like, wow.

Here I'm trying to look like her, and I am
doing, you know, quads three times a week.

She, on the other hand, is like, I'm
not touching them because I like am just

trying to atrophy or maintain what I have.

They cannot get any bigger,
so it's so, so funny.

A lot of people online have
great muscle shape guys.

They have great physiques or size,
and we assume that they built that

purely from what they're currently
doing, but many of them really

haven't gone through a huge stage of
going from bird legs to, you know.

Quads.

Some of it really is just how their
body distributes body fat even and

muscle, and we don't see that part.

Right.

That's so hard.

so onto the second story.

So there is this, she's a very
cute woman who is really, really

popular on social media and once
in a while I see her at my gym.

we've talked, I even had her on,
uh, my podcast, I think once.

On the podcast, it was kind of funny
because she talked about how she

wouldn't do a a, like a A show again.

She did a bodybuilding show.

or maybe she couldn't because
it was 2020 or something.

Anyways, but she prepped for it and
she told me she would never do it again

because the dieting portion was just
too extreme for her, was just too hard.

And she didn't care about being that lean
again because it came at such a cost.

So last year I saw her in the gym and
I noticed, wow, she's shredded like.

Not lean, shredded.

We're talking about like three,
four weeks out from a show.

So I walked up to her and was like, what?

Did you change your mind?

Are you doing a show?

I mean, you look great, but you're
really like, you're not just

lean, you're, you're shredded.

And she's like, no, no, not doing a show.

Now she told somebody else that life
had been stressful, and so she was just

walking more and the weight just fell off.

Now, if I'm being super honest, walking
a little bit more, uh, doesn't just

take someone from someone, especially
someone who's been lifting for a

decade, like from lean to stage,
shredded, just walking doesn't do that.

And so she, she confided like,
like, look, it's life's been stress.

So stressful.

I literally can't eat.

I can't eat a thing.

I'm barely eating right now.

And I was like, oh, oh, my heart
just broke for like, I'm so sorry.

And that is how stress will impact
some people to the point that

they just can't touch anything.

Now, if you'd only.

S have seen her social media, you'd think,
oh, I just need to walk a little bit more.

Right?

We are often really bad at understanding
the mechanisms behind results.

So her results didn't come from just
increasing steps a little bit more.

It was drastically reducing calories in.

So before prepping for a show, you
know, she's tracking everything, you

know, feeling that hunger, fighting it.

It's really, really hard.

This time around life
is just hard and stress.

Some women will completely
lose their appetite.

Now, I don't know about you, but I
don't wanna get results that way, right?

So.

It's so hard because we're,
we're just, once again, we're

not seeing the full story.

So if you think that increasing your steps
a little bit is going to dramatically

get you, so you're seeing every single
ab pop and striations and shredded,

that's just not, that's just not reality.

Right.

So we're just kinda seeing on social
media these little things that it's kind

of not adding up right The third woman,
I've also been following this woman

for years, probably five plus years.

Anyways, she likewise,
uh, went from Lean to now.

She's over the past few years, has
held a. Pretty shredded physique.

Uh, she's about five one
very small and petite.

and based on visuals alone,
I would probably estimate

she's around 15% body fat.

Uh, possibly even a little bit lower,
just depending on the, the picture

she's showing and the lighting and
it's, you know, allowing things to pop.

But, but she's not just lean.

She has clear abdominal separation.

I'm not just talking about on the sides.

You know how somebody will be lean
and on their sides, they just kind

of have this nice little lines down,
um, the, like the edge of their abs

and kind of towards their obliques.

They just have these two nice lines down.

That's very normal for somebody
who's lean to have that.

When I say clear abdominal separation,
I am talking about every single ab.

Popping.

I'm talking about very visible obliques
and dealt striations and little to no

body fat on the lower portion of the ab.

So that's another thing is when women
are lean, they'll have these defined

sides to their abs, but they will have
still a softer looking lower AB shredded.

Usually you see every separation.

There's no body fat being held
on that lower portion at all.

It's just very like, very lean.

So high vascularity.

So this isn't a soft 18 to 20%.

Look, that's lean.

Like I said, this is what majority
of people would call shred.

now there's a few things that
she shared on social media.

She tries to really be open about
everything, and I really appreciate that.

Um, but she says she doesn't track.

She rotates foods, which
I think is brilliant.

Having staple foods is smart, right?

but she, so she doesn't track.

That's important to understand.

She estimates her maintenance
though, uh, she's guessing.

Uh.

21 to 2300 calories.

Once again, though, she doesn't
track, but this is based off of once

in a while she'll kind of track.

Um, but recently she actually said that
she believes that her, she's hitting

way beyond 2300 calories, uh, most days.

Fascinating, right?

This is somebody who's
five one, very, very small.

15% body fat.

I would say she's maybe 105 to
110 pounds, but she, uh, doesn't

share her weight on social media.

Now I understand that because people
get weird about weight, right?

They get kind of obsessive about it,
maybe get weird, and, and she probably

just doesn't wanna deal with that.

and so I get it, especially if you're
a very, very small person, like

somebody who's five foot one guys.

I'm five eight.

Okay, so I'm tall and I weigh 130
pounds, so I probably have like 25

pounds on this woman and seven inches.

But I have coached literally hundreds of
women and, very, very small petite women.

You know, five, one very, very small.

I've coached women who were
around a hundred pounds.

not at, not at 15% body fat, but, so
we were working, you know, getting

them to have more muscle and stuff.

but I, I just am saying I totally
understand that desire of not

wanting to share body weight.

'cause people get weird about it.

so anyways, but it, let's just
give you some context though.

Like I said, I'm five eight,
around 130 pounds, and I'm

actually around 18% body fat.

I lift five times a week.

Okay.

I get usually around 10,000 steps, and
currently I'm not doing any cardio now.

I maintain right now with what I'm
doing around 2000 to 2100 calories.

I go in and out of tracking too.

I'm actually currently tracking right now.

I'm gonna be moving into a fat loss
phase, and so I really like to know,

okay, where am I landing right now?

I'm going into a fat loss phase because
I think it'll be fun to shred down for a

whole, uh, a Mexican trip that's coming
up that we're going on with friends.

Right.

So that's purely just for, I think it
will be fun, not because I think I need

to, I'm weird and I'm like, I think it
will be fun to be a little bit more.

A little leaner for this,
so that's why I'm doing it.

But anyways, so I am landing anywhere
between 2000 calories some days,

2100 calories, another, and I've
been maintaining my weight and

body composition here really great.

once again, not doing cardio, but if
I were to add in two to three days of

cardio and even increase my steps to
around 12,000 to 15 or 14,000, I, my

maintenance is closer to 2300 calories.

So can you imagine me with what
I know about my body and how my

body's responding reading if I
didn't understand what I understood

reading somebody who's seven inches
shorter, probably 25 pounds lighter,

having a higher maintenance than me.

Could you like her, her, what
she's saying, her maintenance

is, is a build for me.

Now, if I didn't understand what
I do, that could make me feel

like, oh, I'm, I'm not, I must
be doing something wrong, right?

I'm taller, I weigh more,
I have more total tissue.

My maintenance sits in, you know,
that range depending on output.

So me looking at a five foot, one
person who weighs probably like 105,

maybe, maybe pushing 110 pounds.

Around 15% body fat lifting four times
a week, doing two 20 minute cardio

sections and taking a casual hour
walk every morning and saying she's

eating 2300 plus calories most days.

Do you see how that's
kind of like a big claim?

and maybe I could internalize that
and somebody else could internalize

that, but if I'm being really honest,
I have coached hundreds of women.

If, if everything is like accurate,
that's being portrayed here in,

in the social media posts, this
woman is clearly an outlier.

She's a unicorn.

Unicorns do exist, right?

Um, but physiologically that is
moving into the realm of a little

bit unusual to be able to eat.

That much being that small and also
staying at something like 15% body fat.

But once again, two things can be true.

At the same time, it can be
unusual, and it can also be true.

Okay, so I don't want anybody to think
negatively about this individual.

I think what's important
is to note that this is.

Unusual.

This is leaning towards
a little bit more rare.

Okay.

And then here's the key.

What does this mean to you?

What she's eating and how much
she exercises and how much she,

what does this mean for you?

Because this is important.

This is how we become better
at navigating social media.

What does it mean for you?

Absolutely nothing.

Nothing.

Why?

Because 99.9% of us are not unicorns.

We are not the exception.

We are the rule.

And you have to start seeing
social media through the lens

of that's so cool for you.

I can be your biggest cheerleader.

I can think that is so amazing
for you and I am so like impressed

by you, but that doesn't actually
mean much about like for me, it

doesn't have to be about you, right?

It doesn't have to be that
you're doing something wrong.

It doesn't have mean that you take
offense and get all weird and well, she

just must be lying maybe, but maybe not.

And I really like her and I think that
she is giving us the best information

she possibly can about a lifestyle that
she's worked really hard to establish.

And so I really just believe
that she's a unicorn.

And so I want you to start
being able to spot that and

have it not be a threat to you.

Not mean anything to you, and yet you
can still show up and cheer her on.

That's awesome.

That is so awesome for you.

It means nothing for me.

It means nothing good or bad for me.

I'm just a cheerleader.

I just am inspired by you.

And that's the cool thing is she can
inspire you to find what works for you,

but you gotta know what works for her.

As far as like calories and and energy
out and the inputs and the outputs are

not going to be the same for you, right?

So start saying that that's cool for you.

It doesn't mean anything to me, good
or bad, it doesn't mean anything.

But we can still cheer
each other on, right?

Like I said, we are supposed to
make the most of our own canvas.

Yes, there are principles we
can learn from other people.

Progressive overload,
adequate, uh, protein, adequate

calories and consistency.

But how that shows up on your body will
never look identical to someone else's.

That's not a flaw that is biology.

So this year I am making this huge shift.

Like I said, I'm starting a YouTube
channel specifically to go deeper

into this kind of education, longer
form, more nuance, more physiology,

more content, because I don't
want to just give you workouts.

I wanna help you think better
about navigating this space, about

showing up with a healthier mind.

So right now I'm actually pretty
excited because I'm planning on doing

a really big, deep dive into genetics
and just how much they can impact

the way muscle takes shape on us.

How two people can train the exact
same way and look completely different.

They can even have the same
height look completely different.

Right.

How insertions and origin
points change everything.

How body fat distri, uh,
distribution varies wildly.

It's gonna be so helpful guys, if you want
to learn how to navigate social media in

a healthier way, and stop feeling like
you're doing something wrong when you're.

Go subscribe to my YouTube channel.

The link is in the show notes.

I'm so excited about this, guys.

I really believe this is gonna
change how you see fitness.

Thank you so much for being here, guys.

You guys are absolutely amazing.

I'm so, so grateful for
the community of women.

I feel like you are like-minded.

You want to improve yourself.

You want to show up as
the best version of you.

I just love that.

I love you.

I appreciate you.

Have a wonderful week.