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In this week’s episode, Lt. Wayland interviews Taylor Wood from FACT Mentoring as she shares about her first experience becoming a mentor in their program. Taylor later came to serve on staff with FACT and was tasked with recruiting, equipping, and matching mentors. Taylor is gifted in connecting and loving on kids while they walk through difficult circumstances. We hope her stories and wisdom encourage you!
Show Notes
In this week’s episode, Lt. Wayland interviews Taylor Wood from FACT Mentoring as she shares about her first experience becoming a mentor in their program. Taylor later came to serve on staff with FACT and was tasked with recruiting, equipping, and matching mentors. Taylor is gifted in connecting and loving on kids while they walk through difficult circumstances. We hope her stories and wisdom encourage you!
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles
Speaker 2:and give
Speaker 1:you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 3:Hello everybody. My name is Wayland Cubitt. I am lieutenant, a lieutenant with the Oklahoma City Police Department, and I run a unit called FACT, Family Awareness and Community Teamwork. It is the only, far as I know, the only mentoring program ran through a police department. And so there's an episode that Steven and the UCAN mentor guys interviewed me about that, but we're gonna talk in detail a little bit more about what FACT does.
Speaker 3:But we're we're basically just a mentoring program in inner city Oklahoma City that is mentoring kids from hard places. And I have the luxury of watching officers make connections with kids and families all over the city, and it is amazing to see. We also cannot mentor all of the kids that come to our program. We cannot be 100% relational with all of them. That's why we have a volunteer coordinator because we have to have people from the community come alongside of us to mentor these these these young people.
Speaker 3:And so after a while, after so many years we've been doing this since 2007. After so long, it became a chore to kind of manage, recruit, train, send, check up on, do all of the things that is required to keep a mentor engaged and to keep them connected, to the right young people. So I'm not able to do that. I'm a police officer. So I've had to have help.
Speaker 3:And so we hired, some years ago, this brilliant, brilliant young lady who came alongside of all of our flaws and all of our trying to figure it out ness. Is that a word? Trying to figure it out ness.
Speaker 2:It works.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. We're trying to figure it out. And said she would help us recruit, train, and retain, and match mentors to our young people. So let me let me let me before we I introduce the person that has taken our program to the next level, especially in this area, I gotta tell you is that when when you are mentoring and you wanna connect, there's a lot of work to stay connected in figuring out what kids need and who is the positive caring the best matching positive caring adult to go alongside of them.
Speaker 3:And so that's why we needed the help. But the program was designed this way. In in my mind, when I was allowed, and given direction to create the program from our chief of police, at the time, who was chief Bill City, my mind was, we won't do a whole lot of mentoring. Cops are not gonna be good mentors, but we're good we're good at finding the kids that need mentors. And so I thought that we would, like, be like fishermen.
Speaker 3:Like, we would go out and fish at risk youth, and we would bring them in, and we would bring these kids in to, to the bank, kinda like we're a fisherman. We would bring the kids to the bank, and the community would be at the bank, ready to take our fish, our our our kids, and clean them and clean them and do everything they can and get ready to serve them back to the community differently. That's what I that's what I envisioned. But what I was finding is that we were bringing these kids to shore by droves. We were we were recruiting kids easily.
Speaker 3:But when we got to the bank, there were not as many mentors to help us clean or mentor them and to send them back to the community, which brings me to Tyler Wood. We needed help with recruiting people to be on the bank with us. And so, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I am so happy to introduce you to a master mentor, Taylor Wood. Welcome, Taylor.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. I'm glad to be here.
Speaker 3:Did I do a good job of setting up what we do?
Speaker 2:You always your your metaphors are top notch.
Speaker 3:Well, I I just want I don't wanna get into I I want this I really want you to kinda I wanna talk about how you help the program and how you mentor and how what you've learned, but I didn't wanna do that without setting up kinda what our program mentoring program is. It is a little bit different. It is a little
Speaker 2:bit It is way different.
Speaker 3:Way different? Mhmm. Okay. So we'll talk about those differences a little bit. But before that, tell tell the people, the other mentors who Taylor Wood is.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Well, I'll tell you, I was one of those mentors that was coming to fact to to meet the students at the bank, as you could say. And if you were to ask me then when I first started mentoring that I would be working with Oklahoma City Police Department, actually recruiting mentors myself and being part of the team, I never would've never would've saw it, actually. So it's really it's a really cool journey to just have been a part of that process and see fact grow. But I went to UCO for my undergrad.
Speaker 2:I didn't know what I wanted to do then.
Speaker 3:University of Central
Speaker 2:Of Central Oklahoma. Broncos. The Broncos. Yep. Put your heads up.
Speaker 2:And I I ended up majoring in organizational communications because I didn't know what I wanted to do. I just knew I wanted to help people, and so that was a general enough program, and it focused on organizational efficiency. And I figured if I was gonna go a nonprofit, that'd be a good some good skills to have. But I I remember very specifically kinda getting this word over me as like, it's like it's like my life mission. And it wasn't very specific.
Speaker 2:It was just love those who you love the most. And so that's what's kind of always guided me. It's been my mission statement.
Speaker 3:Love those who need love the most.
Speaker 2:And I had no idea who that was, what that population was. And now I look back, I know exactly who it was. It was teens and youth of OKC, inner city youth that they need the most love. That was my that was my mission and my calling. I didn't know it then, but that's kinda what led me down the path to take classes and programs that kinda work that non profit field.
Speaker 2:I then went and got my master's at OU in human relations in a social justice type of emphasis, but that is that's kind of just where my story started. But as far as I got involved with FACT, I was at church, actually, and there was an organization that had worked with FACT at the time, one of the partners.
Speaker 3:Yes. We had a partner that recruited for us, again, because I knew that the the FACT had a deficiency in this area of recruiting mentors. I knew that we couldn't do it alone, and so in great way to keep it fashion, I went out to find somebody to to do what I don't do well, find somebody that does what I do well, and and partner with them. And they were recruiting. Not only were they recruiting, they were training.
Speaker 3:And not only were they were training, they were matching. Mhmm. You know? And this is perfect. And they sent us you.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Yeah. One of the first. Talk about that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. I was in church, and they were talking about this, how mentoring is a great way to serve, and I just felt called. Like, the kind of you know when God calls you to something and you get emotional for no reason and you're like, why am I getting emotional about this? That tugging on the heart.
Speaker 2:That's what it was. So I decided to step up and say, I'll go to this, mentor orientation, if you would. And it was funny because I this same organization was actually partnered with several organizations besides FACT, and FACT was not on my list of the one that I wanted to to mentor with.
Speaker 3:Now you do, ma'am.
Speaker 2:I do. Yeah. Yeah. For some reason, the the volunteering with police officers didn't appeal to me at the time, but it just so happened that my my class schedule, because I was taking a lot of night classes at the time, yeah, it did did not none of those other programs worked with my schedule, and the only night I could meet was Tuesday night with Bakkt.
Speaker 3:Which is still one of our regular meeting nights.
Speaker 2:Yes. It is. And And that
Speaker 3:was 2,000 what? That was 14. 2014. Okay.
Speaker 2:2014. August 2014. Uh-huh. And, almost the anniversary would have been this month. How that's wild.
Speaker 2:And I I went to their their training and their orientation, and then I showed up at FACT, and, man, I just I fell in love. I was actually a volunteer for several months. I volunteered from August, and I didn't get master's of the student till December, and I was nervous.
Speaker 3:I bet you what. Well okay. So you gotta take because I'm sure that a lot of new mentor have you mentored before? This was your first experience.
Speaker 2:I had helped out with some youth groups that were mainly elementary and a few middle school age.
Speaker 3:In fact, it's not elementary. Fact is No. Fact. Very much teenager.
Speaker 2:Yes. Right. And and if I know you guys can't see me through the microphone, but I look like a teenager. So
Speaker 3:Still? Even in 2014, you did? Yep. And right now No. No.
Speaker 3:No. I still do it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I have a high deficiency. Right. I mean, so it was very intimidating.
Speaker 3:But talk to us about the first because you you're probably expressing well, now you know that every volunteer, every mentor feels this way. Mhmm. But describe what you were going through, especially walking into a room full of cops. And I know that I was probably up running my mouth and being very energetic and active or something. I don't know what I was doing that day, but I'm sure I was upfront directing traffic.
Speaker 2:Man, I'm like I'm trying to I I did not feel intimidated by the FACT team, and I think a lot of that had to do with just your just how FACT presents itself. The officers present themselves. I mean, you guys wear plain clothing. I mean, you have your FACT polo on. Better than that, you just look like a normal human.
Speaker 3:Our gun is there, but it's unassuming it's covered up. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know, there's pizza being served. I remember that. I I will never forget this, though, because I was so embarrassed. I mean, they're like they well, when the officer at the time welcomed me and thanked me for being there, and I recognized the the guy who had originally recruited me and had been, part of the training.
Speaker 2:And so I felt a little bit at peace, you know, a little calm just from that, and it's like, just just go sit in with the kids while they're eating, kinda talk to them. And I went to the youngest kid there because for some reason, that seemed really scary. And Mhmm. I start talking to them. He's not really talking very much.
Speaker 2:I'm asking how school was, what his his interest is, and then one of the officers comes over to me. That's TG's son, which TG was one of the fact officers at the time. So he wasn't even one of the participants there. He just was
Speaker 3:He was an officer's kid.
Speaker 2:He was an officer's kid. I was like, oh, man.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:So I had to really get outside of my comfort zone and learn how to strike conversations with teenagers.
Speaker 3:You know, and it did how how much of this caused some of the anxiety was that at the time, FACT really did call itself a gang prevention program.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Oh, yeah. And that was I so I grew up in Norman, Oklahoma. And although my school like, I went to a pretty diverse school and, I mean, I had volunteered all types of nonprofits from the time I was in high school and in college and but I still had no idea that there was gang issues in Oklahoma City. I I I went from Norman to Edmond and kinda lived in this bubble, and I I didn't realize what a bubble I lived in, honestly.
Speaker 2:And so I was, like, pretty shocked to know that there were still gang issues and that kids were still being recruited by gangs and, you know, sometimes that's what their community that's just what they knew. And so it was it was a shock for me going into this and just, like, making me realize it was really humbling, honestly, to make me think, woah. There's a lot that I don't know about my own community.
Speaker 3:Right. And they're hard. Right? They're they were Oh my gosh. Yeah.
Speaker 3:They and and I don't think our kids are any different than any other kids now that I think look back is that they do try to I don't know. Scare you off is the the right thing. They do wanna test your commitment.
Speaker 2:For the testing.
Speaker 3:Test your commitment. Right? Do you really wanna be here? Because I'd rather you leave now than for me to get attached to you than and then you leave. So so it was a lot of that probably going on.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah. I I even today, like, I tell, my mentors, I'm training them that expect a push and a pull. Mhmm. Expect a push and a pull because there's gonna be times whenever they're begging you in their life. But sometimes if you get too close, they'll push you away because they're just waiting for it to happen anyways because that's maybe all they've experienced with adults.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. That's a that's a big lesson, and and there's probably some others that you can share some nuggets, some wisdom of master mentoring that you've you've done. So you're you're here, you've gone, and then you finally get matched. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And I remember this match, but you finally get matched, and I can't believe they matched you with this young lady.
Speaker 2:I couldn't either. I I even went to the guy that matched him. I was like, are you sure about this?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Well, describe her without saying her name or anything, but describe her and what what it looked like and feel like.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Well, the process was it gave you an option to, to preface a student that maybe you thought would be a good match. And and they said, well, we thought about that, but I really wanna match you to the student instead. And at first, I was like, I talked to her several times, and I just thought I actually thought I would probably not be a good mentor for her. And it was it's kind of as now I look back, I'm like, well, that was a silly reason not to be matched with her.
Speaker 2:It's just because, like, I could tell she had a self confidence issue, and I felt like, well, I have self confidence issues too, so I probably shouldn't be a mentor for her, which is looking back now, such a silly reason. You know, I could still pour love into her
Speaker 3:and build that confidence up regardless. But she she was 12 years old
Speaker 2:at the time, and her mom was very connected with the officer because there was constantly
Speaker 3:issues at home, I guess, the the best way to say that. Yeah. It was this was tough. She was she was She
Speaker 2:didn't look 12.
Speaker 3:She didn't look 12. She was she looked probably 15 or 16. She was could be vocal. Mhmm. She could be vocal.
Speaker 3:Straight straight straight in your face, vocal, when when when pushed or just when she decided. Mhmm. You know? And you were you were not docile at all. That's not the word, but you were laid back.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Laid back is the is what I would would say the way I took it at the time, laid back. And when they said, you know, we're gonna put this match together, I don't know if I would have put that together either, but I didn't know you, that way. But the more and more I got to know you, I knew it was a perfect match. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And it was a perfect match. Talk to us about your early wins. So you haven't you you didn't she wasn't your only over the years, but she was your first. Mhmm. But talk to us about some of your early mentoring wins and what what why you call it a win.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Man, that that first match, first mentor experience taught me so much about what it means to be a mentor. And there's times I felt like a failure, but I look back now and they were just learning experiences. It really, really defined to me what mentoring is. I'll say that, you know, when I first got matched, we hung out maybe once a week, maybe, you know, once every other week.
Speaker 2:Her mom was only only spoke Spanish, and so I have a little bit of Spanish background from school, and so I would text her in Spanish, but my verbal is not good. Let me try this. So her and her mom kept in contact that way, but I remember, I think, sometimes, the most groundbreaking bonding moments are when things get really hard, and you have opportunity to show that you're the one that's gonna show up.
Speaker 3:And when you say really hard, you're saying really hard for the mentee, for your girl.
Speaker 2:Yes. Yes. So in this instance, she had gone through some stuff with her family and a guy she was seeing, and she she had had some scary thoughts that had made her family believe the best option would be for her to go to a hospital for a little bit to and I because I had
Speaker 3:She was talking about hurting herself.
Speaker 2:Yeah. She she wanted to hurt herself, and so she
Speaker 3:I couldn't get a hold of her, and
Speaker 2:it was kinda strange because I usually talk to her at least once a week, and she wasn't at fact on Tuesday. And so I texted her mom, and and that's when she told me where she was. And that's actually where her and her mom first got close because I reached out to her, and she she gave me permission to be able to go visit. And I remember walking into that hospital for the first time, and they have a very small visiting time that they can meet, and she saw me and came running into me and just started crying on my shoulder. And, you know, prior to that, I had been matched with her for a few months, and we hadn't had that type of close connection yet.
Speaker 2:It was very surface level, but
Speaker 3:this little guy Little did you know? Little
Speaker 2:did you know. Uh-huh.
Speaker 3:Little did you know. Mhmm. Right. There's some there's some clues. Right?
Speaker 3:And we and we talk about this quite a bit. You and I talk about this offline quite a bit, is looking for that moment of connection. Right? And you can easily miss it Mhmm. Because they show it in very subtle, subtle ways.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. But you're working really, really hard to get it in. Whether you knew it or not, you are a master connector. Like, kids have latched onto you and are following you around, are watching your every move, and I don't even think you're aware of it, how fast they connect to you. Like, you might think, oh, in a couple of weeks, I'm like, that was day 1.
Speaker 3:Like, they connected to you when you brought on the pizza. Like, when you brought on the ranch, took for them to dip in their pizza. You know? I'm like, they are they are skipping chairs. Right?
Speaker 3:They are going around the person they came with to sit next to Taylor, and you don't even notice it. You don't even notice it. So you probably had this young lady hooked long before then, and so you were probably blown away by the reaction you got when you walked into that hospital. Tell me I'm wrong.
Speaker 2:You might be right.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. And so so it did something for you Mhmm. Because it validated your time
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And your effort and your prayers. Right? You you were connected to this child, and you didn't know that if you if she had connected to you. Mhmm. Right?
Speaker 3:You didn't know, and this was validation.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Right. Yeah. I definitely showed that what I was doing had purpose. I think this way.
Speaker 2:But after that, we got, you know, really, really close. I mean, like, her mom would not let her go out with anyone else, but she was allowed to hang out with Taylor. Mhmm. And so she called me all the time. We hung out all the time.
Speaker 2:But I'll I do wanna share this story because this was probably the best learning lesson I ever had as a mentor, and it's really shaped how I mentor and how I train other mentors. Short like, shortly after this and she had been home, she was, started seeing this the same guy again. We had no idea.
Speaker 3:Now she's 13 now. She
Speaker 2:yes. She's 13 now. She had just had her 13th birthday, actually. And she she comes to me, and she says, Taylor, I think I'm pregnant. And some would even know that she was seeing this guy again.
Speaker 2:And, I think the hardest part of it was that he was significantly older than her. And, man, I remember whenever we confirmed that she was pregnant, I've never been so mad in my life. I didn't even realize I I I don't think I realized how mentally invested I was and heart invested with this family. I I was shaking.
Speaker 3:It was
Speaker 2:like she's my own little sister.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:I felt like she'd been taken advantage of. And I felt like a failure because I thought my purpose as a mentor was to prevent things like teen pregnancy and the stereotypes that are out there. If I were to come along as a mentor and be in her life, then these things shouldn't happen. And I I felt like a a complete failure. And then it was like one day, God gave me this peace and more like he slapped me over the head.
Speaker 2:I was like, stop it. Like, you're not in the control of this.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And I that's when I learned really quick that my purpose as a mentor is not to rewrite her story or to make her decisions for her or to correct her. Although there is a time and place for correction, but my purpose in that moment was to do life with her.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Whether she makes the right decisions or she makes mistakes or goes through it doesn't matter. I'm walking with her beside it every step of the way, and that changed it all for me.
Speaker 3:Right. Right. And it made a difference in her life Mhmm. Because the judgment from her parents, her family, her school, even from some of the officers Mhmm. Even from some of the officers because we're we're we're guilty of judging Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Very, very quickly and and had enough evidence, right, to to say, yep. She did this, she did this, she did this. That's par for the course. And and you did not let her fall by the wayside.
Speaker 2:No. That was really actually a cool look. I you just saying something, I actually kinda brought back a flood of memories, and I remember I actually really advocated for her to still be able to come to the program Mhmm. Even after she had the baby. I mean, at this point, she's 14 years old with a baby, and, you know, most people are thinking, she's not part of this program anymore, and I'm like, no.
Speaker 2:She needs this, and she's bringing the baby, and I'm gonna hold it while she participates. But that, you know, we actually it was so cool. We got to hold her baby shower at the back center
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Which is her second family. Her, you know, her whole family comes over, and we have this tiny kitchen, and they're making all the tortillas. And Right. And it was a really cool experience to for her to see that she was supported by her FACT family.
Speaker 3:Right. Right. And there was and and there was because of this boyfriend and because of the issues for police officers, we were really concerned about whether or not this relationship ought to stay.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Oh, he was scared to death. That that boy was scared to death to be around. Maybe he should have been.
Speaker 3:Right. Right. Right. But we got through it and you you learned you learned some valuable lessons and that is one that, you know, we have to always underline as mentors is that you're not their parents. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:You're not their parent. And and it's it's different. That's why I think, let's talk about the difference between being a police department led mentoring program and other mentoring programs. I want I want you to kind of talk to us what you what you see about that, and then how do how do you how do you how would you tell other mentors who are just getting into the game how they know you're in the right program for you? Oh, that's 2 wildly different questions.
Speaker 3:I know. I'm not the best.
Speaker 2:I'm not the best. Well, I'll I'll start with that first one, the difference in it. Well, I mean, especially in today's just today's world with social media and all the things that you can see online, a teenager has reasons not to trust the police. You know, they can pull up on their phone real quick, and they don't know the background. And then, you know, if they were to look into it more, maybe they would they would under have a little bit more understanding.
Speaker 2:But to have a program where police officers are the mentors, are the family, is really I mean, I believe we should have it all over the United States. I think it would change everything. But for kids to come in here and, you know, they walk some kids walk in, they think, why would I wanna do this program with police? But then they sit down for 5 minutes, and they're hooked. And I I think what's been really, really cool about it as a civilian that has gotten to work really closely with youth and with police at the same time is I get to see both sides of it.
Speaker 2:I see how the youth change their perception about the police, and I also see how the police who have been hardened by, you know think about police all, they're they're constantly responding to people in crisis all the time. They see hard they see super hard things all the time. And because of that, you know, there's kinda this hardening that you have to do to be able to do the job, but then they come to the fact unit. I've had officers who have been, you know, a police officer on the streets for 10 plus years, and they come to FACT. And I see them soften even their outlook towards a community and become family with these kids and their families.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's just
Speaker 3:Yeah. You have we counted yesterday. You've had 18 different officers since, since 2014 come through this unit Mhmm. That you've worked with. And so you've seen them come in with their gun out, handcuffs hanging out there, ready for anything that might happen, head on the swivel to to just playing basketball.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. And one officer actually had one of the kids sing at his wedding. Mhmm. Right? I'm like, that how does that how does that transformation happen?
Speaker 3:And you're up close and see that transformation happen. You see them getting up in the middle of the night to go help a family look for a runaway teen Mhmm. And help them navigate the the reporting process with the police department and and and doing all that stuff, and then and then coming back and being like a father figure to many of these kids. So it's it's really unique in that way. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:How do you know how would how would, you say to the new mentor, how do you know if this is the one for you? It may not be a police led mentoring program, but how did you know you were in the right place?
Speaker 2:Man, that's a that's a hard question. I'm trying to think even for me what what it was, but I think it was just knowing that there was a need out there and there was a team that was meeting that need. And for me, it was I know when I felt the most, motivated is whenever I had other mentors and officers that were willing to work together and would keep track of a kid. If I knew something was going on with them, I'd let them know, hey, just a heads up, and they would follow-up with that that student. I even had other, mentors that were also community members that, you know, we work together to mentor 1 kid and just knowing that you're not alone in it.
Speaker 2:For I think that's, like, the the key to a successful mentoring program is that people just care, and they're willing to do the the hard work. I will say one of the hardest times and when I felt the most hopeless is whenever I was having a significant issue with a student. Not me not me and the student personally, but I just knew that something was going on with the student, and I didn't I didn't have the tools or the know how to know what to do. And I went to one of the the officers at the time, and when I even first started telling him the story, his reaction was, no. No.
Speaker 2:No. No. No. Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
Speaker 2:Because he knew he'd have to do something.
Speaker 3:Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Now that that's been one officer, and we we figured out quickly that this is just a stepping stone
Speaker 3:for Right. Right.
Speaker 2:But then since then, I've had so many officers that, you know, they're willing to to roll their sleeves up and and, you know, some of it requires police work and some of it, you know, requires a knowledge of being a police officer and the resources because of that to be able to help these students and their families.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Because it's not it's it's not normal for the for the police officer to know so much about a kid or a family. And so this officer that you're talking about, I I know who you're talking about, but part of it is laziness. Right? Like, do not tell me something that's gonna activate the police officer in me.
Speaker 3:That means I have to do police officer stuff, which requires work. Part of it is that, and part of it is, I do not wanna be a police officer to these kids. I wanna be their mentor. Mhmm. Don't tell me something that's gonna make them make them see me differently than what they've always seen me as.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Right? I I I have a job to do. And so that is the line that they always, always, always walk, and it's probably why they only last about 3 or 4 years.
Speaker 2:Yes. That's why I've been through 18 officers. Right. Right. It is very, very easy work.
Speaker 2:It's not easy work. Right.
Speaker 3:Right. Because they're dealing with the the officers are dealing with what they're used to is being called to a crisis, stopping the crisis, and go on to the next crisis. Here
Speaker 2:Disconnection.
Speaker 3:They never ever stop. They're, like, they're at the beginning of the crisis, the middle, and through it, and and then at the end of the crisis, they still have the same subject, the same kid, the same mom, the same dad, the same pastor, the same teacher that all care about this this one kid or these same sibling sets Mhmm. That that kind of thing. So it's really interesting that you get to see it and describe that. Now before we end, I want to talk about how you give kids bad news because we have had to deliver bad news to kids As a program, as an organization, we've had to to give them bad news, and we've done it well, and we've done it not so well.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Talk about the hard news that we've that we had to give in the past and how how we blew it.
Speaker 2:Yes. I I think the key to delivering bad news is to still have hope in the message.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think I know, like, one particular message that I think you and I are both thinking of right now is when we potentially had to shut down the fact program for a short time.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. But we
Speaker 2:didn't know we didn't know it was coming back.
Speaker 3:Right. Yeah. We got cut out of the budget, and the unit was shut down. And so we had 60, 70, 80 kids Mhmm. That we were dealing with, 30 or 40 that we see weekly, and 4 or 5 officers, they were all all of everybody was going back to patrol.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And we it was no tomorrow. Program was ending, and we didn't do that so well.
Speaker 2:I think it it was a shock to everyone because it was pretty unexpected. And at the time, I wasn't I wasn't working for the unit yet. I was just one of the volunteers. And so just as a volunteer, like, I was like, what what what do I do, but also what
Speaker 3:do these kids do?
Speaker 2:And I think I saw it delivered well on one day and then delivered badly on another day. And the first time, it was it was explained. I think the important thing is to give them perspective. Let them know what is going on. And here's the hopeful side of it.
Speaker 2:You know, we we're still family. This doesn't end here. And and just to give some, background on our students, you know, they they've been coming, some of them since they were 12 years old. Some of them snuck in at 9
Speaker 3:with their siblings. With their siblings. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so this really is family to them. I mean, I know I have kids now that started when they were 12, and they're they're 21 now, and they still they still try to be part of the Pet Pack family Right. Even though they've aged out. And so it's like, where do I go now?
Speaker 3:What do I do?
Speaker 2:What do I do? Yeah. And so when it was delivered well, it was again, it was this hope that we still we're still family. That doesn't change anything. You can still call us.
Speaker 2:We're still here. And this was just a stepping stone. You have potential and you need you know, don't let this be the end of it.
Speaker 3:Right. I'm always here for you. This is although the program doesn't end, the relationship doesn't. Yes. You know, that's kinda we did it at one part of town.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Then on the other side of town, other other people took the lead on delivering the news, and they didn't do it that way.
Speaker 2:This is the last meeting. We're being shut down. Boom. We had kids running out.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We had kids angry, crying.
Speaker 3:Punching the bathroom walls.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Just straight up left.
Speaker 3:Straight up ran out. Mhmm. Yeah. It was
Speaker 2:before They didn't have answers. They didn't have an explanation. They didn't they didn't they didn't give that that hope nugget that they needed. And it was it was it was rocky and a lot of confusion. There's so much confusion.
Speaker 2:And I think even some kids, I think they they took it personally.
Speaker 3:Right. It was done without thinking about the their personal experience that they brought to the program. And and so they were we we were further traumatizing them Mhmm. By taking away something that was consistent or they felt like was consistent and solid and
Speaker 2:They trusted it.
Speaker 3:And they trusted. And the adults were doing it to them again, you know, and although it was not us doing it, we couldn't avoid it, that type of thing, but bad news comes and unexpected things happen that is not desirable, and we, as adults, have to be able to share with kids in a in a very hopeful way and let them know that this does not have to be dramatic because there's another there's a brighter side to it. There's a there's a there's a tomorrow coming. The sun does rise. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Right? Tomorrow. Mhmm. And I bring that up is because, for us, this is a gloomy, gloomy time for us in the FACT program. It's because you're transitioning to another space.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. You're actually leaving town and
Speaker 2:States. States. So,
Speaker 3:like, you're moving 100,000 a miles away. And there's a lot of kids and a lot of mentors and officers that we really have probably taken your skill set, your knowledge, your love for granted, because it's just been so consistent. So how how have you and I've noticed in the last 3 weeks in the last 3 weeks, you have taken a lot of special intentional time of making sure that hope is spread throughout this entire organization. Talked about what you've been intentional about in in that experience of saying goodbye, but not farewell. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I'm not leaving forever.
Speaker 2:Yes. I'll just start out first by saying it's the hardest goodbye I've ever had to do. I'll try to get through without tearing up too much too, but I knew it was gonna be and a lot of it's a lesson based on the scenario we're just talking about where we we temporary closed down and seeing how those students reacted to that. A lot of these students, I have been their mentor and in their life for 7 years.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. You
Speaker 2:know? And they call me at 2 in the morning. You know? I'm the one that picks them up from school sometimes, go to their sporting events, help them with their resumes, take them to work.
Speaker 3:Get them a driver's license.
Speaker 2:I've taken that 4 AM to the DMV.
Speaker 3:Just so they could be first at the DMV?
Speaker 2:It's always an adventure. But I knew I needed to be very, very intentional, and there was a handful of students I needed to tell 1 on 1 and give them that special attention to process and share really have time to explain to them why I'm leaving. And I was really hoping that it could ignite some inspiration to them too. You know? There's you don't have to stick with what you've always known.
Speaker 2:You can get outside your comfort zone Mhmm.
Speaker 3:When you
Speaker 2:have opportunities
Speaker 3:and
Speaker 2:take them. And so I've been able to have those conversations and but there's even students that are technically out of the program. They're in their twenties now that I knew I needed even them, I needed to to tell them 1 on 1 before they found out through social media or through another officer or through another student. And so giving them the time to to process and understand and know their place in it that you know? A lot of them, I've told them, you better still call me and FaceTime me.
Speaker 2:I want all the updates. You know, have your parents FaceTime you in on your games. But just giving them the opportunity to to know that, I'm not leaving them. I might physically be moving away, but that relationship will will never never go away.
Speaker 3:Right. And for the officers, you you don't know this, but all of the messages that I get about what are we gonna do, about what are we gonna do? And I and again, I miss hurt and is hurt, hurt is not the word, it is I'm happy hurt, if that's right, because you are leading in that you're saying that I can stay here and be comfortable, but I wanna grow. And so I'm happy hurt that you're moving along and we are just so grateful, these officers, whether I know they give you a hard time and we have our own little fun culture and they give you a really hard time and you've done well with that, But they are concerned for the life of the program because you have been such a foundational part of it for such a long time. You did it as a volunteer.
Speaker 3:We don't pay you enough for part time. You're here for full time, and that just speaks to the dedication to the call that God placed on your life is that love those the what?
Speaker 2:Love those who need love.
Speaker 3:Yes. Right. And so we clearly, clearly are among those that need love the most. The police officers of the Oklahoma City Police Department and the 18 officers that have come to this program are, let me just say, tremendously grateful for putting us on the map and giving us all the stuff that we need to to and the confidence to go out and do the work differently than any other police department in the country. So thank you so much for service.
Speaker 3:And so I'm giving you an official fact coin. And on one side, it says the Oklahoma City Police Department, and on the other side, it says fact, fact is family, and we give those coins. Police officers share these coins from agency to agency to agency to say, although I'm not in my jurisdiction, I am with you. Mhmm. Right?
Speaker 3:And so you have that coin to say you are forever our family and that we are with you. Without anything else being said before we just start crying and sniveling all over these microphones, I gotta say, you can mentor. Thank you so much for joining in.