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The Middle of Culture is what happens when two siblings with too many opinions and not enough chill dive headfirst into movies, music, video games, and whatever else is rotting our brains this week. It’s part pop culture podcast, part sibling rivalry, and fully unfiltered. Expect passionate arguments, niche references, unsolicited rankings, and the occasional moment of unexpected insight. If you’ve ever wanted to eavesdrop on the kind of argument you’d hear at the family dinner table—only with better audio—this is your show.
Peter
00:00
But if you need to know some secret bullshit code to actually get somewhat decent food, you know what? That restaurant can fuck themselves.
Eden
00:21
Welcome, young master, to the Jianghu, where the blood and rice wine flow freely and in equal measure. Sit for the time has come to share stories and drinks together What's that, young master? You wish to hear the tale of the greatest swordswoman of the House of Valor, she who longs to destroy her father's work, building the Light Path Alliance, that irascible Fu Wan Qing, who burns like a fiery furnace? Or the stories of Yu Shen Yan, whose icy demeanour belies her power and softening heart as leader of the demonic sect of the Jadewater Guild, looking to heal her second disciple of the grievous wounds inflicted by Fu Wan Qing. These are old tales, but an old sibling like me is happy to share them Welcome back to the middle of culture. My name is Eden.
Peter
01:09
And my name is Peter. Uh I don't know that I can match that energy. I apologize.
Eden
01:15
That's okay. It came to me last night as I was prepping for the podcast and I was like, this is stupid. I'm gonna write a very stupid entry in the style of a Wuja introduction. And then just go with it when we start the show.
Peter
01:32
I love it. It was great. It was fantastic.
Eden
01:35
So here we are. How you been, Peter? What you been up to?
Peter
01:39
I have been okay hanging in there, you know. Obviously, Thanksgiving was last week here in the States, and uh Recovering from that and the end of the year is upon us, which is my absolute least favorite time of the year. So here we are.
Eden
01:54
It is December. I I was at a target the other day because so My wife was out of town. She was at her 20th, uh, 20-year high school reunion. She's supposed to fly home on Tuesday afternoon, right? She had a s a tight connection in Chicago. We were a little worried about it because tight connections in Chicago rarely play well together. Worst airport in the world. I hate it, but that is when you fly east from here, guess where you are going to have a connection? Oh, air, the worst airport in America. Um, but so we were like, oh, it's kind of a tight connection, but hopefully she'll make it. Then the plane was delayed a little. And so we were like, oh, great, no problems. And she says, okay, it's gonna be coming in at 7. 30 now. So great. Cool. She's like, oh, it's been delayed. Now it's gonna be eight. Cool. And then I'm like, okay, I'm gonna, I wanna be, I wanna be there. I wanna get there. I don't want her to have to wait around for me. And you know, we're a little over half an hour away from the airport. So I'm like I'm gonna I'm gonna get in the car now. I put the dogs in their kennels, hop in the car, I drive up there, and then I'm obviously not checking my phone because I'm a responsible driver. And then I get to the the uh you know waiting lot at the airport to see a text saying, oh, it's been delayed again because there's some sort of mechanical issue and they we've had to de-plane because they've got to get a part to come in. And so I did not, I was supposed to pick her up at 7. 30. She did not get home until 12. 30, man. It was the picture.
Peter
03:23
Oh dear.
Eden
03:24
And I just had to fart around Cedar Rapids because I'd already driven 45 minutes up to Cedar. I'm not gonna turn around, come home, and then do it again. No.
Peter
03:33
So this is of course, I agree.
Eden
03:35
The whole reason I'm telling this is to get to this part of the story. You said you hate this time of year. Understandable. There are things about it I like. There are a lot of things I feel like, wow, Christmas people must be stopped. And the reason why I'm saying that is this. I was walking around target, like one does when they're waiting for a plane to get off the ground. Walking around the target. And some evil, evil person who works for the Target Corporation took Earth, Wind, and Fires September. and digitally modified it to play during Christmas time so that it is now did do you remember the 21st night of December? And in that moment, if I could have strangled a person, I would have found that person and stra and choked them out.
Peter
04:24
How dare you do that to that song?
Eden
04:27
And how dare you try to take something that is unsullied by the so-called Christmas spirit And make it a Christmas song. You monsters. You monsters. Anyway.
Peter
04:39
Yeah, that is that's bad. That's real bad.
Eden
04:41
Heinous. What have you been up to?
Peter
04:44
Not a whole lot. Um, like I say, you know, we had family up here for Thanksgiving and kind of busy with that and so and and work has just gotten really busy. It always does at this time of the year. And There hasn't been a whole lot of of of anything really that interesting that's come out recently. So I was looking and I'm like. No, there's no new music that has come out since last we talked two weeks ago. That's too bad. So I don't have I don't have any new music that I've been listening to. Um, you know, the Apple music replay popped up and I know that people's Spotify raped has been going off, but but yeah, so no new music. Um Wife and I continue to watch Taskmaster.
Eden
05:36
To go back to the music thing, did you look at your Apple your Apple thing? What was your top what was your top album of the year in terms of listens?
Peter
05:46
My top album of the year in terms of listens was the 2016 opus Slow Forever by Cobalt. Now listeners may remember that my top album of 2024 was the 2016 Opus Slow Forever from Cobalt.
Eden
06:06
I do remember that.
Peter
06:08
This year I listened to that album for 1,636 minutes. Last year I listened to that album. For one thousand six hundred and six minutes.
Eden
06:19
So this was just you know, slow forever's year. Slow forever's decade.
Peter
06:25
Coming up with a decade of Xbox. It kinda has been. There's a reason why a number of episodes ago I kind of had to admit that I think I I think this has supplanted through Silver and Blood as my favorite album of all time.
Eden
06:39
I still haven't even listened to it. I gotta put that baby on.
Peter
06:42
You know, y you'll need a little bit of time. It's a long one. Just like through Silver and Blood was long. I think it's like 72 minutes, but I think Slow Forever is actually 80 minutes or a slightly more.
Eden
06:52
It's Okay.
Peter
06:54
It's a long one.
Eden
06:55
On one disc, guys?
Peter
06:57
Come on. Nope. Nope. But um yeah, so you know, it was that, I think. Lamb of God was my top artist of the year. Okay. And I th I think that is because So I I I was trying to do a little thing going back to uh when I read Atomic Habits, it talks about habit habit linking and and sort of you know setting up cues for yourself and stuff. So in an effort to do that, I took uh some Lamb of God songs that I really like, some live versions that have some some real good energy. Put them in a little playlist that I call Hype Time. And then I used shortcuts, you know, iOS shortcuts, created a shortcut to s immediately start playing that playlist. made it an icon on my home screen of my phone. So every time I'm going to work out, I tap that thing and it just starts playing my hype time playlist. And then I go down and I I I work out. And and so I think that's probably why Lamb of God is my top uh artist of the of the year. Because I've been I think I created that shortcut like four or five months ago, so I've been using it for a while now. But you know, not a lot of surprises in there other than the fact and it wasn't a surprise, but my number one song was Lifeblood by Raphael Weinroth Brown. So it's a fun, it's a fun look where it's like, your number one artist, Lamb of God. Your number one album, slow forever. But your number one song, this piece of solo cello music.
Eden
08:37
So You know?
Peter
08:39
Nothing wrong with that. Can I No, it's a No, go ahead. I was just gonna say it's a fantastic song and a fantastic album, so uh I was glad to see I think it was my number two album of the year after Slow Forever and it I mean it came out uh I think in September, so that's that's pulling pretty pretty pretty strong weight there.
Eden
09:00
That's true. That's pretty impressive. I mine was weird because I felt like I looked at it and I thought, what the f Fuck did you do this year, Eden? Like what are you listening to? Um, would you like to know what my top album was? I would. Rebecca Black's Salvation. Okay. Which is all hits, no misses. It is s it is an EP. It is seven songs. All seven of which kill. Like, it's a good album. But that was my top album of 2025. Huh. My second top album of 2025 was Cassiopeia by the band Cassiopeia, which is a weird acid jazz Japanese group from the 70s.
Peter
09:49
Okay.
Eden
09:50
My third highest album was Ruby by Jenny, right after I apparently lied two weeks ago saying I'm not that big into K-pop. My third highest album is a K-pop album? What the fuck, Eden? My fourth highest album? The KPM 1000 series by Sid Dale. Which is a bunch of British talk show music from the sixties and seventies. This is a fascinating list you've got going on. And to round out the top five, the Tron Air soundtrack. What? Huh. What a weird top five. What a strange top five. I looked at that and I said, I don't want to know anymore. And I closed the I closed the Spotify rapt and I said, I'm done. I don't want to know what my top song is. I don't want to know what my top artist is. The psychic shock of seeing Rebecca Black as my top artist of 2025. Well I r I respect it. I respect myself for it because she kills. She's very good. What did you listen to while you're eating? And the answer to that is a lot of very big playlists that had a lot of artists on them, which is why they're not actually reflected in there, you know? My City Pop playlist is five hours long and has probably 60 different artists on it. So none of them are up played often enough, even when you listen to the whole five-hour playlist. So anyway, what else have you been up to?
Peter
11:19
Well I was gonna say I did I was just look glancing through this and I had a few other things that were interesting. It was for me in terms of my top artists, it was a lot of kind of well known, but there were a couple, a couple artists that that came in real strong that I wasn't expecting. My number so my number one was Lamb of God. My number two was Cobalt. But my number three was uh was the Belgian band Marche Funebre, which was kind of cool. I discovered them this year. And and fell real hard for them. And then and again some more out bands that I've been a fan of for a long time. Allegion, Paradise Lost, Cattle Decapitation, Exodus Testament. And then coming in at number six. Yeah, come coming in at number six, a little uh little band, a little death metal band from Poland called Dormant Ordeal. They had a new album come out this year. And so it was kind of going back and listening to that new one and their four, uh, the three previous albums. And I don't know, it's really interesting. It's It's kind of technical, but not super wanky technical. There's an interesting, and I don't know how else to describe it, there's an interesting kind of coldness to some of the death metal that comes out of Poland. So you've got uh Dormant Ordeal, you've got Obsidian Mantra, you've got Redemptor. There's this just interesting, I don't know how to describe it other than that. It's just there's this kind of very clinical aspect to their death metal, which for some odd reason really appeals to me. So it was fun to see those those two new bands that uh not new as in, you know, brand new this year, but that I kind of hit heavy rotation this year that have not been in there uh in the past. So kind of good to listen to that. But But yeah, I mean that's music-wise. It was really just kind of looking back and I've been playing that. I do like the playlist that Apple makes with my basically my 100 most played songs of the year because I do get a nice little mix in there of different different stuff. And it's kind of fun to throw on in the OR because we go from a lot of heavy stuff to then again all of a sudden Raphael Weinroth Brown pops in with some cello. There you go. So Other than that, I think like I mentioned, you know, listen, I continue to watch Taskmaster. It will soon be done with guts because we're we're up to, I think, series or season sixteen. Um we've already watched nineteen in the past, so we've really only got you know, three or four more seasons to go and they're only 10 episodes each. So yeah, that's going on. And then honestly, I've been playing some more ball pit. Ball pit's fun. I like it. I've unlocked some more characters. building my town up a little bit more. Uh so that's that's a good game and again I I I can't help but recommend it. Even if you don't catch it on sale. It's only $14. 99. And if you just wait around I guarantee you. It's going to be on the Steam Christmas sale for something. So worth uh worth checking out. Final thing I mentioned is I I finished, you know, obviously finished reading all the MurderBot books. Started reading uh the three-body problem, been reading that some, and then on just a weird hair, I decided that I wanted to read The 1979 Pulitzer Prize winning nonfiction book by Douglas Hofstetter Gudel-Escher-Bach. And of course, you can only get that. I could not find a digital copy. And so I have my 900-page paperback copy here.
Eden
14:57
What is this book and and what prompted you to want to read it?
Peter
15:01
Um, I was reading some article about, oh, you know, ten books of the twentieth century that changed so I don't know. Anyway, it sounded interesting. Douglas Hofstadter's got a he he's kind of a I mean he he did mathematics and then he was gonna get a PhD in physics and then He ended up in like cognitive science. And so it's an it's a really weird book where he jumps back and forth with this idea that Using connections between the logician Kurt Goethe and MC Escher's art and Johann Sebastian Bach's music that there are these kind of recursive elements in all of these that link them together that are in some ways representative about how The self emerges from the random acts of our brain, that our brain itself doesn't do it, but it's isn't doesn't represent us, but it's it's kind of our thoughts and the weird things that we don't have control over that our brain does that by which we become Manifest. Anyway, it's I thought it sounded very interesting, and it is interesting. He jumps back and forth the examples of these different people, and then he has this whole aside thing between uh the the Mr. Tortoise and uh Achilles and all these different characters where they're having conversations with each other and It's unusual, but uh it's I don't know kind of fun. I'm not very far. I'm only like 40 or 50 pages in, but Uh that's been it's one of these books that's big enough that I end up reading it on my desk because it's a lot to kind of hold. So it's setting it on the desk and leaning over and reading, it's that kind of book.
Eden
16:51
Absolutely.
Peter
16:52
But uh what about you? What you been up to?
Eden
16:55
Well, I think that that uh um little preamble I had should give folks a pretty good idea of the sorts of things I've been into the last couple of weeks.
Peter
17:04
I was I was suspicious, but you know.
Eden
17:07
I've been venturing forth in the Zhanghu, folks. Um so I have been it is a combination of two things. I have been reading a book That is Wuja-based. It is the first Baihe that has ever been published in English, which is exciting. Baihe is Chinese lesbian novels. So Don May, which is Chinese boys' love novels, gay gay novels, have been very big in the West Lots of them have come over. Um lots of them have been published, but this is the very first one that is a girls' love novel that has been officially published by an by an American publisher. It's pretty good. Um, it's kind of slow, it's very dry. And that is what I'd heard going in about it's called The Beauty's Blade. Um, and that is kind of what I had heard going in, is that the Beauty's Blade was it's kind of an older book. Um it does it it's not like a perfect exemplar of what kind of the the the medium is doing right now, but I think the reason why they chose this one to publish is twofold. Number one, it's a single volume, because many of them go on for multiple volumes. And I think they were kind of I it was published by Seven C's, and I think Seven C's was kind of thinking. Well, every time, because 7C's every month puts out like a Qualtrics form that you can go fill out and tell them what should we license. And so I know the Bae Hei girlies have been bothering them for months, saying you publish a lot of Don May, you need to publish some Bae Hey. You've published a lot of Don May, you need to publish some Baehey. So I think they'd been, you know, wanting to do it, but uh, you know, want to make sure that it will succeed. Don't set themselves up for failure with a multi-part series that maybe doesn't finish. So they picked a book that they could publish in a single volume. And the second reason is the two most popular ones, the one that everyone says these are the two best ones. got licensed by this tiny Spanish publisher called Monogatori, who was going to publish them, simul pub them in Spanish and English. And they were supposed to come out a year and a half ago. And they are now still delayed till next summer. And this company that came out of the gate announcing a bunch of licenses of stuff hasn't put out a single book, won't answer any emails, and none of their socials have updated in two and a half months. I think it's dead. I think the company died on arrival, but that means that these two really highly regarded books are kind of stuck in a rights limbo situation. And so people are pretty disappointed. But every single person I know who is a Bayhei fan has been like, I don't I think the Beauty's Blade is just okay, but you know that I bought two copies. I bought both the regular cover and the Crunchyroll exclusive cover, because we need to send a message to seven C's that they need to be publishing more of this stuff. And I was like, okay, I respect it. I'm only gonna buy one copy though. I'm not gonna buy two copies of anything. I'm not a two copies person. This is the thing I've learned working at the comic shop. Sometimes people like to own multiple copies of a thing, and it baffles me. It baffles me. To what end? Just because they have different covers? I don't understand I don't understand variant covers either. Like I maybe mentioned when the Deadpool Batman comic came out, people would come in and buy 10 or 12 different copies with different covers. And I asked one of the guys at the shop why. And he said, I'm just gonna put them in a box. I just want them. Okay, I guess. It's nice to just want things.
Peter
20:49
I don't really get it though.
Eden
20:51
Um, but anyway, I'm having fun with it. The two characters whose names I mentioned, Fu Wan Qin and and Yu Shen Yan, are the two main characters of Beauty's Blade. Um, and it's fun. I'm having a good time with it. But I also have been playing the brand new game that just came out, Where Winds Meet. Have you heard of this game at all, Peter? No. Did you honestly think I had? I don't know. It's gotten kind of big, but in weird circles. It is a The best way I could describe where winds meet is what if Assassin's Creed was optionally if you feel like it an MMO, but doesn't have to be. You can play the whole thing in solo mode if you never want to talk to another person or see another person. But also it could be an MMO and you could go to the you could swap from solo mode to co-op mode, and then there are just people everywhere.
Peter
21:55
Uh but yeah, it's I'm looking at the Steam page right now, so yeah, go on.
Eden
21:59
Ga gameplay-wise, it feels very similar to like, you know, it's an open world exploration kind of a game. You're going around, you're doing quests. You you there was, you know, it starts so t prototypically. You meet this young girl who's like your best friend in the village. And she's like, we're gonna go on an adventure in the Jong Hu. And I was like, that girl is so fucking toast. By the end of the prologue, this girl is dead as a doornail. Spoiler alert, she dead as a doornail, guys. And like, no one's surprised by this. These are like very expected tropes in Wuja storytelling. Um, and like, you know, you saw the death you saw the death flags from a mile away. But I'm having a really fun time with it. It mostly runs really well. I'm playing it on the PS5 because I was like, I, you know, they've got a PS5 version of it. I have not played anything that wasn't sitting at my desk in a while. And maybe I want to sit in the front room and play on my P on my big screen TV. So I've been playing it on the PS5. Performance has mostly been good, except for there was one part in a particular big story quest where I think there were just too many people on the screen at once. And I thought that that little PlayStation was going to explode. And I was like, this is a PS5. Y'all couldn't optimize this game a little bit better to run on a PS5, guys? Um, but I'm having fun with it. It's pretty cool. Uh you can unlock all sorts of different weapons. My current weapon build is, of course, I have a short sword. But my second weapon, it's a fan that when I wave it, I shoot out air that blows people away and hurts them to death. Okay. It's cool. My other uh one of the other ones that I really like. The only reason I'm not doing a build with this weapon and fan is they're both ranged weapons. You gotta have one melee, one ranged. Come on. But the other range the other ranged weapon I played around with quite a bit is the umbrella, which you know you also can throw projectiles with, or you throw it in the air and it floats and shoots projectiles itself. And you pull out your sword for a bit and you chok, chop, chip, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. Um, but it's it's pretty fun. You know, it's got very like it has dark, it is, it is what I've asked for. To myself, not out loud, because the Dark Souls people get really mad if you say it out loud. It's what I've asked for for years. What if Dark Souls had difficulty sliders, difficulty choices? That's what made the Jedi games good. Is it was what if Dark Souls Combat, but A, I was a Jedi, and B, I could put it on story mode. And uh same with this one. You can the it is very peri-based, like Sekiro or things like that But you can also set it so that when you need to parry something, the game slows down slightly and puts up a big thing that says, hey, hit R1, and you go, R1, and then you go, ching, ching, ching, ching, and you block the shit out of that thing. It's pretty fun. I'm having a good time.
Peter
25:04
Perfect. I may have to check it out.
Eden
25:07
It's pretty cool. If you choose to play it, let me know. I'll invite you to my guild. I'm in a guild with a bunch of other people I ran into on Reddit the other day. It's pretty cool.
Peter
25:15
Very good.
Eden
25:16
And so of course I had to name my character after the fiery, tempestuous main character of the Beauty's Blade, Fu Wan Ching. It's great.
Peter
25:24
Of course.
Eden
25:25
Uh anyway, it it's it's totally free. Um the only monetization is cosmetic based. So if you don't want if you don't care about getting the coolest fits for your character, you never have to pay a penny for this game. And I kinda love that. Cool. But yeah, that's kind of that's kind of what I've been up to. I, you know, nice hung out, watched what did we watch for Bad Movie Bros the other day? It must not have been that memorable because I can't even remember what it was. My Sunday night, yeah, my Sunday night movie with my friends. I just worked on a model kit. I don't remember what we watched, but it must have been bad. That's kind of where I'm at. Ooh, the last thing I will mention, I have also been reading a comic that I was introduced to the other day that is extremely cute, that is called Kaiju Girl Caramelaize. And the premise of this comic is there was this biologist who found an egg and hatched it, and inside of it was a kaiju who she has trained to be a little girl. And so she is now in high school. And when she feels strong emotions, she starts slowly but surely turning into a kaiju. Like her hands. get big and look like big Godzilla-y hands or spikes start coming out of her back if she starts to feel emotion. So she's always had to like she's always pushed people away and she always tries to keep herself calm. Then she kind of starts falling for a boy. Uh oh. And so what could possibly happen? Well, dear listeners, you know what happens. She he confesses to her and she turns into a fucking Godzilla. She goes 300 feet tall and turns into a huge Godzilla monster. And then the whole world freaks out. Um, and so that is the premise of this film is when she feels overwhelming emotion She roids out like the Hulk into a Godzilla monster with heart eyes because she's still in love with this boy. And like the big sp the big spine on her back has like a little heart design in it. And it's very cute. It's very funny. One of the girls of the school who she thinks also has a crush on the boy, she has a crush on, does not have a crush on the boy, has a crush on the monster. And so she is like, I think you have a connection to this monster. And so she lies and she's like, Yeah, I'm the she's like, are you the priestess of this monster? Just like, you know, the twin priest priestesses of Mothra or things like that. And she can't tell the girl she is the monster, so she's like, yeah, yes, I I'm the priestess. And so it is a very, very funny love triangle situation. Where the girl is in love with the monster who is her and she is in love with the boy. It's very funny.
Peter
28:06
Interesting. That sounds funny.
Eden
28:08
I think the thing that I'm enjoying the most about it is with a premise like that, and it's published in a shonen magazine. So it's published in a magazine for teen boys. But the artist had only ever done shojo stuff before. So teen girl stuff and specifically romance books. That's what she's well known for. And she had this idea and she was like, and her editor was like, hey, we can get you a spot in a shonen book. So you might have to change your style, make it look a little more like action-y to appeal to the boys rather than like. cute big eyes, you know, lots of focus on fashion, things like that. The sort of things that you get in a shojo book. And so she like started doing stuff and and and made like a like a rough draft of an idea. And took it to where editor editor was like, no, you need to just go shojo. I was wrong. You need to go full shojo. So, you know, she's got big again, she's got big eyes that have hearts in them. And then when she turns into a monster, the monster also blushes and has big eyes with hearts in them. It's very cute. It's very, very cute. I'm having a delightful time. Like I think eight or nine volumes are out so far, and I've read the first two or three. It's pretty fun. Cool. All right. Are you ready for the very stupid thing I have planned for today?
Peter
29:19
I am so ready.
Eden
29:21
So dear listeners, um, we'd watched like two or three movies in a row, and I couldn't think of anything, and I knew that we were both busy with end-of-year stuff. I didn't want us to watch another movie. It was too many movies in a row. And I couldn't think of a short story or something. I was almost like, hey, let's read a like an Ursula Le Guin short story or something. And then I was like, no, what if we just do something even stupider? So we are just going to do a tear maker today, Peter. And that tear maker is best fast food or fast casual restaurants.
Peter
29:51
Oh, okay.
Eden
29:52
Because you know what is also culture? Food. Food is also culture.
Peter
29:57
It's true. It is true.
Eden
29:59
Some some might say one of the most important cultures, one of the oldest cultures that we have as a people. Um, so I found this one, best fast food, fast casual restaurants. Um we're gonna rank them from the best to there isn't thankfully a spot down here for it. Never had, because I looked at this list and I thought There are a number of these I've maybe never even heard of. So we'll we'll have to see. So if they're things we both know, we'll have to duke it out to decide where to put it on the tier list. Uh if it's one only one of us has ever had, then obviously you just you you you get first choice.
Peter
30:33
You get this.
Eden
30:34
And if neither of us have tried it, we'll put it in the never had category. So we are going to start. It is alphabetical, I believe. It is alphabetical. So we're going to start at the very top here with AW, All American Food. How are you feeling about AW in 2025, Peter?
Peter
30:50
You know, ANW is one of those that I had really strong feelings about it when I was in uh undergrad because the ANW that was on Main Street in Logan had uh the big blueburger which was you know three patties and you could get a combo and it was it was less than ten bucks and as a college student it was a lot of food for uh not a lot of money And so I liked it. Now we do have an AW here in Pocatello that my kids have gone to and I've had a couple times. I I think ANW's fine. Yeah. I think it's better than some, but You know, for me, ANW is like a solid B, maybe C, depending on how I'm feeling, somewhere in there. Like it's not awesome, but it's not bad.
Eden
31:37
Yeah, I mean I'm inclined to put it in C. Because it's fine. It's not bad. It's not good. I do remember going to that one in Logan. It was very good. But that's not the normal AW. That's not the regular Degar experience. The thing that makes me almost want to bump it up to be is the frosted mugs.
Peter
31:56
Yes. But you gotta eat in the restaurant.
Eden
31:58
The frosted mugs are nice. You gotta eat in the restaurant to do that. And I don't want to if I'm going to eat at a place. Why would I choose to eat at a fast food restaurant and not just go to a regular degular restaurant?
Peter
32:11
Yep, I agree. All right.
Eden
32:13
I think C is good. C is a good place for it. Next up, we have the meats at Arby's. Yeah, what do you think? Here's the thing. I like the idea of Arby's. I have fond memories of Arby's. I like potato cakes with Arby sauce on them from Arby's. But then you get the sandwich and you're like, what is this wet paper towel that's supposed to be roast beef? And why did you pile a stack of wet paper towels on a bun?
Peter
32:41
Yeah.
Eden
32:42
That's how I feel about Arby's.
Peter
32:43
Yeah. I think Arby's is one of those that my memory of Arby's is better than the reality of Arby's because our mother really liked Arby's. I think Arby's was like uh when when our mom wanted to splurge a little then then we were getting arby's yeah um but i I think RB's Again, it depends what you get. Arby's mozzarella sticks are the best mozzarella sticks.
Eden
33:10
They're very good mozzarella sticks.
Peter
33:13
Their chicken tenders, chicken finger things are some of the better ones. Their premium chicken nuggets are like their chicken tenders just cut into smaller pieces, so they're not like a press nugget. They're like actual chunks of actual chicken breast. And so if you if you get away from the roast the thinly sliced quote roast beef. Paper towels. I think their food can be pretty good. So again, for me, that puts them in like a sea-ish category. But I don't think they go any higher than that. And if you're really saying, yes, but what are they most known for? The roast beef, then I think you'd have to put them in a D.
Eden
33:50
I'm inclined to agree with you. The thing is, I think that they are one of the restaurants that has suffered most from the decrease in quality of fast food. Because, you know, I remember when I was a kid getting the beef and cheddar. And the beef being a little bit thicker, a little more flavorful, them slathering that red sauce on the bottom of that bun. The last time I went to Arby's, I got a beef and cheddar, wanting to relive the nostalgia. It's just not good. It's just not good. They didn't put enough of either the cheddar nor the red sauce.
Peter
34:25
And you know, it's not Arby sauce on the bottom.
Eden
34:29
Fundamentally, it's a different, sweeter sauce. It's called Maverick sauce. So if you don't put that on the bottom, I can't just supplement with the 7,000 packs of Arby sauce that you put me put in my bag when I asked for a couple to put on my potato cakes. So I was pretty disappointed the last time I went. All right, next up we have one called Baja Fresh. I've never heard of this.
Peter
34:50
It's gotta go in the never had for me.
Eden
34:52
Cool. Blimpy.
Peter
34:53
I remember Blimpy existing. I don't think I've ever been to Blimpy. I remember having Blimpy many years ago, many, many years ago. Like, like dad kind of liked Blimpy sandwiches. Yeah, I vaguely remember. It's been so long ago that I literally have no recollection.
Eden
35:13
Functionally never had.
Peter
35:14
Yep.
Eden
35:15
All right.
Peter
35:16
Bo jangles. Bojangles, or as we like to refer to it around this Jones house, Bohangles. Well, that's a good name for it. It's fine. It's fine. It's Yeah. What else can you do? It's what you get. I mean, you again, you go to Bojangles, you know what you're getting, and it As long as you go in with the right expectations, it meets that. And so I think again, for me that's a a D to a C range somewhere in there. Um yeah, I think C is reasonable.
Eden
35:51
I think C is where it belongs. It's solid. It's better. than other uh chicken places that may come up on this list, but it's worse than other chicken places that may come up on this list. All right, next up, Boston Market. I haven't been to a Boston market in a million years.
Peter
36:09
Me either. I remember really liking it. Yeah. Boston Market was like, again, it was one of those places when You know, if we were gonna if we were felt like we were going a little fancier. Yeah, then we got bosses.
Eden
36:21
Splurge fast food. Not quite sit-down restaurant expensive, but splurge over the Wendy's.
Peter
36:27
Yes, I agree. My memory tells me it's a B but I don't know if that's true or I would go with that. No, I'd I would go with it. Okay. Sounds good.
Eden
36:36
I I remember liking it. But nowadays I I don't even know if Boston Market exists anymore. I feel like that may have been a casualty of the pandemic. This list was made in 2019 after all.
Peter
36:47
It is entirely possible that it was.
Eden
36:49
Okay, next up, we have controversial choice, Burger King. How you feeling about Burger King these days?
Peter
36:54
How you feeling about the whopper? I mean, it's a fine fast food. Burger?
Eden
37:03
Here's what I will say. When we were vegetarians, Burger King was an essential, essential piece.
Peter
37:11
Yeah, because they had the impossible whopper.
Eden
37:13
It was one of two fast food places we could go. It's that and Taco Bell. And it's not as good as Taco Bell. But sometimes you get tired of only getting tacos.
Peter
37:22
And you want a burger. And I'll be honest. The Impossible Burger. I've had it a couple times, just kind of out of curiosity. It's a real good it's a really good option. It's a really good burger. You know, I think people shit on Burger King a lot. I actually think they're pretty okay. For me, it's probably another C, honestly.
Eden
37:40
I I think so.
Peter
37:41
It could actually be a
Eden
37:43
I'm tempted to put in a B just because of the impossible whopper.
Peter
37:46
See, and I'd be okay with that. The only thing that holds me back from B is their fries are too thick. Their fries are not good.
Eden
37:54
But that's that is a pro that is a a recurring problem that we will see in many of the uh upcoming places. The fries are not good.
Peter
38:02
Yes, very true. So uh yeah, I'm good with B or C. I think Burger King is Okay. I think Burger King's better than a lot of people give it credit for. I agree. Now coming up, I think, perhaps the most overrated place I've ever been, Raisin Canes. I it for me it's in the never had, although we are getting a Raisin Canes here in Pocatello. Well. It is not there yet, so I've never had it.
Eden
38:25
Here's the thing: it's a good chicken tender. But that is A, the only thing they sell, and B, very expensive for what you get.
Peter
38:38
Everybody who around here, every time it comes up, people are like, oh, it's the sauce. It's the sauce. The sauce is fine.
Eden
38:46
The sauce is good out here, because I don't live in sauce country anymore. But y'all live in like the alchemical factories of sauce where they really are getting to town because you know what it's not as good as Artic Circles Fry Sauce, which is one of the greatest creations in the history of mankind, unparalleled by any other fry sauce. You ain't getting that at Fraising Canes. It's good. It's a little smoky. It's a little spicy, but it's no fry sauce from Arctic Circle, which is not on this list and would be in the the best category if it were. I'm gonna give Raisin Kays a D because I don't like it very much. Okay. Next up, we have one that functionally does not exist where we live, but sort of does. Carl Jr. Because we live in Hardy. We live in Hardy's country, not Carl's Jr. country.
Peter
39:36
Yep, and I I lived in Hardy's country for 10 years, and I'm back in Carl's Jr. country. I I think Carl's Jr. Here's what I'd say. Carl Jr. is not nearly as good as they want you to think it is. No, it's not.
Eden
39:49
And Hardee's is worse because Hardy's doesn't have the Frisco burger with the uh the Thousand Island on it. Which is the best thing that Carl's Jr. has.
Peter
39:59
I mean, I think honestly for me, Carl Jr. 's probably a D.
Eden
40:02
Me too. Checkers. I've never been to Checkers. I don't know what Checkers are.
Peter
40:06
Never had.
Eden
40:08
Here's the one that I am duty bound to put in the F category, even though I don't think the food rates it, but I think that the ownership does. Chick-fil-A in the F category. Here's the thing about Chick-fil-A. Here's the thing about Chick-fil-A. It's also not nearly as good as everything in pop culture wants you to think it is.
Peter
40:29
No, Chick-fil-A. Here's what makes Chick-fil-A. I do think Chick-fil-A sauce is pretty darn good. It's pretty good. And so okay chicken with Chick-fil-A sauce becomes better chicken, but it's not great. At all. And again, I will not argue with it being in the F.
Eden
40:47
Here's my favorite story about Chick-fil-A. Do you remember this was probably t 13, 14 years ago. It was when we lived in our old house, so it was at least 11 years ago. Uh, there was like the big backlash to Chick-fil-A. And so there was a day when all of the homophobes were like, we're all going to go to Chick-fil-A today to show our support and homophobia. Do you remember this? And like hours long, hours long lines at every Chick-fil-A in the country because everyone was showing their asses. Our Chick-fil-A here is in the mall. That was the only place I we might have one somewhere else. I don't know. I don't go here. Categorically, I I'm not giving them my money. Uh and again, if I want a Southern style chicken sandwich, I'm gonna go to McDonald's that has one that is as good as Chick-fil-A's and then the best fries that have ever been made.
Peter
41:36
Yep.
Eden
41:37
Um, but anyway, ours is in the mall, and Cassie and I needed to go to the mall that day for some reason. And so we were walking from the Target to the Shields in the mall, and the food court is in between those two things. And so we were walking past this huge line and we saw our neighbors. And they were like, oh. Hi. And you could tell, especially the wife in the neighbors, was like, Oh no, they're gonna think I'm a bigot because I'm here. And I'm here to tell you, Debbie Hartley, I do and did and did and do still think you're a bigot. So fuck you. Anyway, that's my Chip Fle story. Chipotle, garbage. Garbage food poop from above.
Peter
42:20
Yeah. Not good.
Eden
42:23
Yeah, you live you also live in fast casual Mexican country. There's 18 other Chipotle ripoffs that are better.
Peter
42:29
I mean Costa Vita is way better than Chipotle.
Eden
42:32
You got Costa Vita, you got three other Costa Vita ripoffs, Cafe Rio.
Peter
42:37
Yeah.
Eden
42:37
We have one out here called Pancheros that is native to here. Like the first one is the one that's downtown. It ain't great, but it's better than Chipotle.
Peter
42:45
Yeah.
Eden
42:46
Next up we have Churches Chicken. I've never had a The thing about churches is I have fond memories of it because you could go and get Uh a thigh, a leg, and a biscuit for 99 cents. And do you know what's great when you are a poor missionary? A front.
Peter
43:05
I mean that. A leg.
Eden
43:06
A thigh and a biscuit for 99 cents, baby.
Peter
43:11
That's tough. Yeah, that's tough to be.
Eden
43:13
For that reason, churches get a B. We're stingy. I think we're less of fast food people than I thought we would be. We don't have a single the best yet. Only bees. Not yet. Cookout. Never heard of it.
Peter
43:26
Never heard of it.
Eden
43:28
Culver's.
Peter
43:29
It's fine. Heard of it, never had it.
Eden
43:31
Well, when you come out to visit your your uh kid in Wisconsin, you can go to Culver's and you can say, wow, it was overrated. D.
Peter
43:40
There we go.
Eden
43:41
Here's the thing. Their big thing is the custard, the frozen custard shakes, and you have it and you're like, it's fine, but it's not as good as that place in West. Or uh southern like the southern part of Bountiful out by uh Aunt Joe and so much Nielsen's Nielsen's frozen custard. You know what? It's not as good as a Nielsen's. A concrete for Mielsen's. Culvers ain't got it like that. Next up, we have Del Taco. It's okay.
Peter
44:11
I haven't heard it a ton, but it's it's very cheap. Yeah, that's that's what Del Taco's got going for it is is the price ratio, but I don't think that it's taste can put it any higher for me than like another D.
Eden
44:23
I'm with you. Next up, I guess this is fast casual Denny's.
Peter
44:27
Yeah.
Eden
44:28
I don't know, man. When's the last time I went to a Denny's
Peter
44:31
I'll tell you the last time I went to a Denny's, uh, it was many years ago. We were in St. George for spring break. We went to go somewhere real early in the morning. That place was closed. There was a Black Bear Diner. We were like, let's go have breakfast at Black Bear Diner. It was supposed to be open. It wasn't open. And there was a Denny's.
Eden
44:51
That's the thing. I I remember going to Denny's late at night or very early in the morning. When mom and dad were when I was when I was not being surveilled, I was staying out too late, and mom and dad didn't know for whatever reason. That's Denny's to me. It's a D. D for Dennis.
Peter
45:10
Yeah.
Eden
45:11
Domino's pizza.
Peter
45:12
Should I get controversial here?
Eden
45:14
Are you gonna say that it's probably the best delivery pizza?
Peter
45:18
Yeah.
Eden
45:18
It's absolutely the best delivery pizza.
Peter
45:21
Oh, that seems like it feels to me like a controversial thing. And I don't ever tell.
Eden
45:27
It's the garlicky crust that puts it over the level of all the others.
Peter
45:31
I mean, I like, yeah, like it used to be for a long time here, um, we would always get Papa John's because Alyssa thought that was a lot better. Well we've just switched. If we ever order pizza, it's always Domino's family.
Eden
45:47
If I'm not if I'm not going to get the local place with real good pizza that costs too much. Like, if I really, if I really want good pizza, I go to the wedge and I get the nutcracker pizza from the wedge. But that's also $17 for a large.
Peter
46:03
Do you know what's not $17?
Eden
46:05
$6. 99 mediums, two toppings from dominoes delivered to my doorstep. So sometimes most of the time, you go with dominoes. Where are we putting it? Be or the best? Should it be our first the best?
Peter
46:18
Yeah, I wouldn't argue.
Eden
46:19
It's our first the best. I think that's appropriate. It is the best of the hit big chains by a country mile. Okay, next one, DQ. I don't know, man. It's fine. It's fine.
Peter
46:31
Oh, and see, I was gonna say for me, I think DQ is like just about the best because really I l I I well, because here's the thing. Stupid things, but you get the chicken finger basket with some country gravy to chick dip the chicken fingers in. And the thick slices of the to the Texas toast. And then finish that off with a blizzard.
Eden
46:53
Here's the thing. You are gonna like Raisin Canes more than me because you know it comes with every chicken meal at Raisin Canes.
Peter
47:00
A big old slice of Texas toast. You know, for me, I don't know that I love the Texas Toast that much, but it was the fact that Texas Toast was such an outlier. As a kid growing up for a fast food place. Yeah. Yeah. So I I think B for me, I think B is where I would probably put it.
Eden
47:20
It's fair. The thing is, a blizzard's real good. You get that cookie dough blizzard? You're like, wow. I get I underst I understand why Joe Biden is an ice cream freak when I have a cookie dough blizzard. And I'm like and I see that gif of him turning the blizzard upside down and I'm like, me too, Joe, me too. El Pollo Loco.
Peter
47:41
Never been there. So I have been there once. And that was just a it was it was just a month ago when I was in California. We were trying to go to one place. The maps were telling us it was something and we pulled up and it was no longer that place. It was a Pollo Loco. And so we went inside and we were kind of pressed for time and we had a Pollo Loco and they had some like queso chicken breast bowl that was really good. Okay then. So I will put 'em in like a s like it's at least a C. Yeah. I think C I've only had it once, so I have a hard time giving it more than a C. But it was a place where I was I I thought to myself, if I had that here, I would be going again. Okay.
Eden
48:23
Good to know. I'll have to try it sometime. Next up we have Firehouse Subs. I know I've been there. I can't tell you one thing about Firehouse Subs.
Peter
48:32
I think Firehouse Subs for me is for sure at least a B. Their bread is very good and I love the it's flavorful meat very thinly sliced. So did better than Arby's, but it it's like they pile on really thinly sliced, lots of flavorful meat. So it's pretty good.
Eden
48:49
I have genuinely not been there but once. And the place we used to have one in the mall here, but it is now Not a Jersey Mikes. It's a different thing. Jersey Mikes is also pretty good. It's a Philly something. Yeah, Jersey Mikes is good. Phillies? Chevies? I don't know. Doesn't matter. Five guys.
Peter
49:13
Honestly, for me, if you want, if I'm gonna get a fast food burger, five guys is my choice.
Eden
49:19
I yeah, I need to take out a small business loan to afford it, but it sure tastes good.
Peter
49:25
I mean, and then the fries, the especially the Cajun fries for me, five guys is the best. I love the grilled onions and mushrooms on a Bacon double cheeseburger. Yeah. It's really good.
Eden
49:37
You do need to take out a small business loan to be able to afford it because like it's so expensive. I was so shocked. I was the last time I had five guys was when I was out in Des Moines. Cassie was at the conference about car seats that we she went to.
Peter
49:54
And I'm just farting around.
Eden
49:56
She sh she's a car seat technician. You have to go and you have to maintain your your certification. So she And the the state pays for you to go if you live outside of a certain radius. So she was like, I'm gonna go. And so we paid extra so I could go along with, but that just meant that I was just free to do whatever. So I was just driving around, going to every bookstore in the entire Des Moines Greater area. But I then I was also free for lunch and I was like, I'm gonna go to five guys. And I got a burger and I got fries, and then they were like, $23, please. And I was like, what the hell? What am I doing getting a fast food burger for $23 in Des Moines? It did taste good.
Peter
50:35
The thing is it tasted real good Oh yeah.
Eden
50:38
So we can put it in the best, but I don't go because I can't well we don't have one here, and if we did, I would still not go because I can't afford it. IHOP.
Peter
50:45
No, it is very pricey. If that goes any higher than an F, I'm ending the call right now.
Eden
50:50
IHOP is the worst. It is the International House of Poop.
Peter
50:55
It is. It is disgusting.
Eden
50:57
All right. Now it's time for us to be controversial. I hope that you can join this uh controversy with me. The next one we have, dear listeners, is In and Out Burger, the single most overrated restaurant in the history of restaurants.
Peter
51:11
If you put this any higher than a D, I'm walking off the phone call. Thank God. Thank God.
Eden
51:16
You know what are the worst fries I've ever eaten in my Pee pick and life. The worst fries I've ever eaten. They taste like unwashed ass.
Peter
51:28
Truly. They're very, very bad.
Eden
51:30
They're so wretched. You have to get them animal style just to make them palatable. And if you have to ruin your fries by dousing them in cheese sauce and caramelized onions, they're not good fries.
Peter
51:44
And also the burger's just overrated.
Eden
51:47
It's just overrated.
Peter
51:49
It is overrated. And this is again, this is a personal thing. But if you need to know some secret bullshit code to actually get somewhat decent food. You know what? That restaurant can fuck themselves.
Eden
52:04
That sucks. It sucks so bad. I feel so comfortable putting Burger King on a higher tier than In N Out. It's not even funny.
Peter
52:11
Oh, a hundred percent.
Eden
52:12
I would much rather go to Burger King than In N Out. All right. Next.
Peter
52:20
Where? I'd rather go to fucking Jack in the Box than in and out. I would rather go to Jack and I would rather go get a corn dog at Jack in the Box. I would rather get two Jack in the Box tacos. Those are they are both simultaneously the most disgusting and delicious things Somehow. I don't know how they do it. Yeah. They're incredible. And I love them. And I hate every time I eat one.
Eden
52:44
Yeah, Burger King used to have those exact same tacos. That Jack in the Box has where it's like it feels wrong while I'm eating it, but good god does it taste good?
Peter
52:55
It's so good.
Eden
52:57
But like you said, afterwards you're like, I don't know, I don't know about this one, guys.
Peter
53:01
I don't know. You're like, I don't know if anything I just ate is technically food or not.
Eden
53:06
But it's all crispy and flattened.
Peter
53:08
But it tastes real good.
Eden
53:10
It's it's like s a meat slurry instead of ground meat. Well it's good.
Peter
53:16
Next up we have Jersey Mike's. It's pretty good. I think I'd put Jersey Mics at least C, maybe even tie it with Firehouse.
Eden
53:24
That's about where I put it too. It's a really good sub. Yeah. Like if I want a sub, do you know what's it's better then?
Peter
53:30
Is the next one, Jimmy Johns, which is a solid subject. Jimmy Johns, yeah. Jimmy John's only redeeming factor is that they're fast. And even then the last, and I mean it's been a couple years since I've been there. Even then, I remember being, hey, this isn't as fast as I thought you were supposed to be.
Eden
53:44
I only go to Jimmy John's when we are busy at the comic shop and I need to eat a quick lunch. That is the only reason I go to Jimmy John's. Because there are so many other choices downtown that if I am not in a situation where I am pressed for time. I will not go to Jimmy John's, but I will when I go there. Next up is a place I've always wanted to try, but have never had the opportunity, which is Jollibee, the Philippines. Fast food place. Never been there. Me neither. I wish they had one here.
Peter
54:11
Yeah.
Eden
54:12
It's uh I've heard it's really good. Next up we have KFC. I have fond memories of eating KFC while watching the Pioneer Day fireworks. Up on the the school on the hill, that's name I can't think of. And we were up there with Nana and Gramps. And we were sitting too close because we were eating KFC and the ashes from the fireworks got into the mashed potatoes.
Peter
54:45
Yeah, yeah.
Eden
54:47
That's KFC today.
Peter
54:48
I think KFC's pretty okay. For me, it's maybe C-ish, D-ish, somewhere in there. Again, it's definitely better than Chick-fil-A.
Eden
54:56
Yeah, I'll I'll give it a C For for nostalgia's sake, for remembering eating it, watching fireworks with Nana and Gramps and our our uh mashed potatoes getting filled with ashes.
Peter
55:11
There we go.
Eden
55:12
Next up we have Little Caesars. You know what I haven't had in like two decades is Little Caesars. When I was in college, when I was an undergrad that hot and ready, there's plenty of times where you're driving past a little Caesars and you're like, I I could $5 eat a pizza right now.
Peter
55:30
Or the crazy bread. The crazy bread was good.
Eden
55:32
The crazy bread is good. But like we don't I just don't have our the one we had here was closed, so I don't even remember.
Peter
55:40
The reason I have more recent experience with Little Caesars is because I've had teenage boys in my life, and we do have multiple little Caesars here in town. And so it was like you need to feed teenage boys, you get little Caesars. And again, if you know that that's what you're getting and you've accepted it, Little Caesars is actually Little Caesars is really good for what you spent on it. And so I think it's probably for me like a C. Because that's true. You're never going to be disappointed with Little Caesars. You're going to get at least, if not a little bit more, than what you paid for it.
Eden
56:13
My favorite the the thing about Little Caesars to me that I always think of Is that picture of the dude in his car eating Little Caesars? And it's captioned, Little Caesars is pretty good if you don't have a bitch in your ear telling you different. And you're like, okay, bud.
Peter
56:31
That's funny.
Eden
56:32
Okay, you're not wrong. You're not wrong. Next up we have Long John Silvers. How are you feeling about getting fish?
Peter
56:40
I don't know that I've ever been there. I've heard of it, but I don't recall having ever eaten at a Long John Silvers. If I had, it was maybe once somewhere, and I don't have any memory of it.
Eden
56:51
I love Long John Silvers. And there's one in Cedar Rapids.
Peter
56:56
And I'm never in Cedar Rapids by myself.
Eden
57:00
So I haven't been in a decade. And that makes me sad to think about because I love Long John Silvers. It's at least a B. Oh. And Cassie, whenever I'm like, hey, we're in Cedar Rapids. Do you want to go to Long John Silvers? She gives me the most withering stare. Yeah, no, uh no, and I say, uh, it was a joke and then I cry a single tear. I'm like the old Indian man in the Don't Mess with Texas ad. I cry a single tear actually the old Italian man they pretended was an Indian. Single tear going down my face. But it's okay. It's okay.
Peter
57:36
Long ground silvers though.
Eden
57:38
It's real good. Real good. Um and now it's a time to set the mean. McDonald's, the fast food place.
Peter
57:48
Yeah.
Eden
57:49
I mean We have categorically said it they are the finest fries on God's Green Earth.
Peter
57:54
They are, one hundred percent Um a McDonald's chicken nugget is a weird thing, but still I I kind of like them. You get the sweet and sour sauce, and it just hits just right. Like you know that it's not an actual piece of I mean it's processed chicken, but it's all processed food anyway. Whatever. So Here's the thing. I hear people all the time talking about how gross McDonald's is and how they hate it. And I'm like, you're a liar. You went there yesterday. Shut up. Because every time you go past McDonald's, both drive through lanes. Have got cars in them. And they're and they're they're cruising through and you know, McDonald's, they get people through pretty fast and their fries are the best. And I mean they're at least a season. Maybe Honestly, maybe even a B. They're a minimum a B for me. I think so too. Them fries is so. And I think everybody who wants to like get all McDonald's. I'm just like, shut up. You would eat there. You have eaten there and you will eat there again, so shut up.
Eden
59:00
It's true. It's very, very true. Next up's one I've never heard of. Moe's a Southwest Grow. I got nothing. I've heard of it, but I've never had it. Got nothing. Okay, next up we have noodles and company. How you feeling about noodles and company? Fast casual noodles.
Peter
59:15
Noodles is okay. It depends so much on what you get. That's the trick. If you get like the Japanese pan noodles, those are pretty dang good noodles. If you get some of the others, they're really thin and dry and not great. So noodles is one of those where it really you have to know which ones are good and then you'll be pretty happy. But the fact that you could get something and be like Uh no thank you. I think they cannot go higher than C.
Eden
59:42
Yeah, I'm inclined to give them a C or a D. I might move it down to D. The thing is, like Chipotle, where I have a local alternative that started in our town. I don't go to noodles and company, even if I want pasta, because Z Merrick is a block and a half away, which started in our town and is very good. All of the pasta dishes there are very good and comparably priced. So if I have if I want pasta, I'm not going to noodles, I'm going to Z Americ.
Peter
01:00:10
There you go.
Eden
01:00:11
All right. Next up, Panda Express.
Peter
01:00:16
I like panda. My son likes panda. We get panda quite often. Panda's very good.
Eden
01:00:22
That that orange chicken is so good.
Peter
01:00:26
Oh, and see, for me, it's the my two go-to's is the mushroom chicken. Oh, the mushroom chicken is also very good. The the chicken, zucchini, and the mushrooms, and then I get the uh The crispy honey walnut. No, the honey something chicken. It's not the orange chicken, but it's anyway, it's good. Panda's good. I like panda good.
Eden
01:00:46
I like panda.
Peter
01:00:48
Yeah, I agree.
Eden
01:00:49
B is where it goes. Could the low main stand to be spiced a little differently? Yes. But the entrees, they're hitting. Next up, controversial one that I think would have been higher in my estimation a few years ago, Panera.
Peter
01:01:06
It's definitely gone down. I still really like it. Yeah. Yeah. I think again, if you'd asked me uh I mean, even probably 10 years ago, I'd have been like, Panera is for sure a B, maybe even of the best. Now I think it's maybe a C.
Eden
01:01:25
Yeah, that's where I feel comfortable putting it. Also, they did make a lemonade that killed people, which is very funny. And honestly, that makes me want to give them an extra point for making the lemonade that kills people. That's right. That's why they're at a C. I think the food is D, but lemonade that kills people moves you up to a C. All right.
Peter
01:01:44
I love it.
Eden
01:01:45
Next up we have Papa John's. Better ingredients, better pizza.
Peter
01:01:50
More expensive than it's even worth the price. It's like it honestly for me it's closer to a D because of the price.
Eden
01:01:56
Yeah, it's too expensive.
Peter
01:01:57
Like the pizzas, the pizza's fine, but they it's way more expensive than it has any right to be.
Eden
01:02:02
Also At least one of those garlic little fuckers is gonna pop open and make a mess of your counter, even though you didn't touch it. It will just explode on the counter and then you're like, great, now I got garlic juice all over the counter. Thank you, Papa Johns. Next up we have something I've never heard of. PDQ looks like a chicken place. Never heard of it.
Peter
01:02:23
Yep, never heard of it either.
Eden
01:02:25
Okay. Next we have another one, Penn Station East Coast subs. Never had this.
Peter
01:02:30
Nor I.
Eden
01:02:31
All right. Another pizza juggernaut. One who's seen its better days. Pizza Hut. How you feeling about Pizza Hut these days? C, D? I don't go here.
Peter
01:02:42
I think either of those. I don't know that they're much better than Papa John's. The only thing they've got is a price, but I think they're tied.
Eden
01:02:49
I don't go there. Again, and we go to Domino's. I I'm getting delivery pizza. I'm going to Domino's.
Peter
01:02:56
100%.
Eden
01:02:57
Next up, Pop Eyes. I've never had Popeyes. Had it a couple times. I've never had it.
Peter
01:03:02
Yeah.
Eden
01:03:03
We have one in our town, you know. And it just recently lost its franchise license. And so they're operating surreptitiously calling themselves not Popeyes or something or not pies or something like that because they lost their franchise license. Which makes me not want to go there. So I've never been there. Uh so I've never had it. Where would you put it?
Peter
01:03:25
Uh you know, I mean I look at our other chicken places and there's certainly no way it's as good as KFC. It's a D, probably.
Eden
01:03:34
Fair.
Peter
01:03:35
I mean it's yeah, it's a D.
Eden
01:03:37
All right. Next up we have Portillos.
Peter
01:03:40
I've heard of it, never been there.
Eden
01:03:42
Oh, let me ri skyrocket that to the best. They have an Italian they have an Italian beef sandwich. Because Portillos, it's a it's a Chicago chain. They make an Italian beef. Italian beef is the big thing from Chicago. Like when you go to Chicago, you're like, oh, yeah. The two big things are one of them is bad. Deep dish pizza. One of them is good. Italian beef. And uh it's just it's like what if A French dip sandwich and a Philly had a very wet, messy baby. And it's so good. Because you put because 'cause you dip it like a French dip, although you don't they don't give it to you with the sauce, they dip it for you. So it just comes out a mess and you like eat it with your hands and it falls apart. You can get it double dipped if you really want it to be a mess and delicious. But like it is all the fixins of a Philly cheesesteak with spicier peppers, and then they dip that fucker in the oz in the au jus for you. It's so good.
Peter
01:04:47
Okay.
Eden
01:04:48
So good. All right. Next up, one I've never heard of. Pot Belly Sandwich Shop. I don't know what this is.
Peter
01:04:54
No idea.
Eden
01:04:55
No. Another one I've never been to, Codoba.
Peter
01:05:00
That's just like a Chipotle, right? It is, and I've had it Not enough to remember, so it probably lands for me in the, you know, yeah. I mean, I mean I'd put it with Chipotle. Okay, that's fine.
Eden
01:05:16
Here's one that I miss on the reg because we don't have one anymore. A Quiznos. I liked Quisnos. I liked them. Two. Didn't they also die during the pandemic?
Peter
01:05:26
I think so.
Eden
01:05:27
Well, I'll give him a C for old time's sake.
Peter
01:05:30
I think that's a I think that's a good place for him.
Eden
01:05:33
Alright, next up we have another one I've never been to, Roy Rogers.
Peter
01:05:37
Neither never been there.
Eden
01:05:39
Sounds cool. Maybe someday. Next up, pizza again. Sabarrow It's great if you're on a road trip and you just want a single slice, but other than that, I don't know about those guys.
Peter
01:05:50
Yeah, it's like a D. Yeah, it is. Yeah, if you're in a pinch and you're like, I want a slice of pizza, fine. Anything other than that, you're better off doing something else.
Eden
01:06:00
Every one of the rest stops in uh s in Ohio on the toll road has a sparrow. And if it's between Sparrow and McDonald's and Panda, I don't go to Sparrow. I go to McDonald's or Panda. So sorry, Sparrow. You don't lose. You lose. Yep. Next up we have Schlotsky's I feel like I feel like Schwotsky's is one we had where we grew up, but I don't remember ever going there.
Peter
01:06:28
So there was a, and this is why I know this, and this is why Schlotsky's gonna have to rank high on the list. Schlotzky's deli, there was one in the food court Of what at the time was the ZCMI Mall.
Eden
01:06:42
Oh yes.
Peter
01:06:43
So there was the ZCMI Mall and there was a crossroads. And Schlotzki's was in the ZCMI Mall. On my first date with my wife. We went to a laser you, I think it was laser U2 show at Handsome Planetarium. Went across the street to the ZCMI Center. had food at Schlotsky's and then went inside the Christmas lights at Temple Square and then drove back up to Logan. So I mean tasted like that for that minute. Schlotsky's gotta be like It's gotta be the best.
Eden
01:07:16
It's going to the best. It's got to go to the best for the memories.
Peter
01:07:21
100%.
Eden
01:07:22
All right, next up, Shake Shack. I don't know, man. It's not that good.
Peter
01:07:26
Never been there.
Eden
01:07:27
It's a C. The thing about Shake Shack is it's like what if Five Guys wasn't as good but still cost the same? That's how I would describe Shake Shack. Next up, I don't know why you would even put this on the list because it is a service station convenience store. Sheets.
Peter
01:07:42
Yeah, I've heard of it. Never been there.
Eden
01:07:45
It's an East Coast service station. I've never been there. I drove past a lot of sheets. uh when we were driving around places this summer, but I've never been. Next up we have a controversial one. One that if my wife was on this podcast, she would slap me for putting where I would put it. And that is Skyline Chili.
Peter
01:08:04
Are you familiar with Skyline Chili? I've never so I I have never had actual like I've never been to Skyline Chili. I was interested once and found the the recipe and made it and thought, huh.
Eden
01:08:21
Uh-huh.
Peter
01:08:22
Huh.
Eden
01:08:23
The thing about the thing about it is I don't think that you're supposed to get it. But it's pretty good. The w when they when you go in and you're like, how would you like your chili? And you're like, I'd like chili five-way. And you're like, what does that mean? And they're like, well, I'm going to take this pile of spaghetti and then I'm going to put Beans and raw onions, and then we're gonna put chili on top, and then the largest pile of shredded cheese that you've ever seen on a food item in your life. It's better than you think it's gonna be. But you have to get it that weird way. And Cassie hated it. But I thought it was pretty good. I'm gonna give it a B
Peter
01:09:02
Okay.
Eden
01:09:03
And if I were again, if she were here, she would be giving me a a a glare and say, what are you talking about? That was disgusting. But you know, that's also how she felt about upcoming White Castle, which I like quite a bit. All right, next up we have Sonic. How are you feeling about Sonic these days?
Peter
01:09:20
I don't think Sonic's very good.
Eden
01:09:22
I like the drinks and the food is bad.
Peter
01:09:25
Yeah, I agree.
Eden
01:09:26
Drinks aren't enough to save you.
Peter
01:09:29
Nope.
Eden
01:09:29
Next up, stake and shake.
Peter
01:09:32
I have heard of it. I've never been there.
Eden
01:09:34
It gets an F2 because they're weirdos. When Donald Trump got re-elected and they were like, we use beef tello for our fries. Come be weird conservatives with us. I was like, oh, you're dead to me now, steak and shake. Screw them. They make some okay food. But I'm never going back because they went weird revanchist and went in all in on beef tallow fries. And you're like, stop it. Stop it.
Peter
01:09:59
Yep.
Eden
01:10:00
Next up, the uh again, the mean, regressing to the mean, a subway. It's fine.
Peter
01:10:07
I mean, I think Subway is the worst of all of these sandwich places. I don't know I could not give Subway in good conscience more than a D, and I would personally give it an F.
Eden
01:10:18
I can give it an F. I don't think Subway's good. It's like
Peter
01:10:22
It is the mean.
Eden
01:10:23
It is it's very funny that like the mean hamburger place McDonald's high on our lists. The mean Sandwich Place Subway low on the list.
Peter
01:10:33
I think what happened though is, you know, you look at McDonald's and McDonald's. Here's what I would say. McDonald's, I feel, has maintained. That's the same thing. McDonald's now is pretty much McDonald's 20 years ago. Pretty probably close to McDonald. I mean, you know, it still is it is about consistent. And I feel like Subway has dramatically decreased in quality. Their bread, which was the whole big thing, oh, our freshly baked bread, it is dry, it is stale. I do not believe it was baked that day. If Like it's just it it's really it feels to me like while Subway was at a time the mean, it has now fallen so far behind. So that's where I I yeah.
Eden
01:11:14
I was talking with a friend the other day about Subway. Do you know when they fell from grace? Do you know when they lost the light of God? When they stopped slicing the bread in the V.
Peter
01:11:22
Yeah.
Eden
01:11:23
When they started slicing the bread down the side and then flopping it open, that's when they lost the light of God in their eyes. And they became the F-tier subway. When they slice that V and they put them meatballs right in that V, oh man. That's a sandwich. But that was 25 years ago. That was good. That was 25 years ago. True. Swenson's never heard of it. Never heard of it either. Taco Bell, the best. You can say no. You can say no. But when I get a Baja Blast When I get a Baja Blast Zero Sugar and a Nacho's Bel Grande, I feel like I am ascending to a higher plane of being.
Peter
01:12:04
See, Taco Bell is like everything we said about the Jack in the Box Taco amplified like A hundred times. So good. It tastes good when I eat it, but the second I'm done, I hate myself. But it tastes real good going down. So I will not argue with you because there is something about Taco Bell that is like It is that it is something special, but it is also something unholy.
Eden
01:12:31
It is. It absolutely is, but I do love it. I do love Taco Bell. Next up, Taco Cabana. Never heard of this. I don't know what this is. Nope. Torchies tacos. I also don't know what this is. Nope. Next up, Waffle House. I've never been to a Waffle House, but I A Waffle House is the best. I've always wanted to go to a Waffle House. It seems like the sort of place.
Peter
01:12:52
Waffle House is incredible. Yeah. Like you go into a Waffle House and and you think you're gonna walk out with some diseases and then you get some hash browns and you get them, I don't even remember what it is. It's like something, something and something, and which means they're throwing all this stuff on them and they're so greasy. And it is like, it is, but here's the thing, Waffle House is in is is truly an American institution. All the jokes about FEMA and Waffle House are true and they are actually real. Uh-huh. And that's because Waffle House is incredible and I miss it. And I only had it for the four years I was in North Carolina. Yeah. And I have missed Waffle House ever since.
Eden
01:13:34
That's the thing is because it's so southern, I just the closest one's like Kentucky.
Peter
01:13:39
So I just have not had an opportunity.
Eden
01:13:41
I'd like to, but I just haven't had the chance yet. Next up, we have another service station, Wawa.
Peter
01:13:49
Why are you putting it Never I didn't even know what it was.
Eden
01:13:51
It's a service station. It's y Okay. We're not putting I mean if This is telling about regional things because if we're putting Wawa and Sheets on here, where is Casey's? The biggest pizza chain on the planet almost. The second largest one in the country. And you're like, I don't even know what you're talking about. Casey's pizza. It is the fast food, is the gas station pizza that it comes from the Midwest. It is literally the second largest pizza chain in the country. It's pretty okay. They make a good taco pizza. That's what I say Casey's does.
Peter
01:14:23
All right. Interesting.
Eden
01:14:25
Next up, Wendy's. How do you feel about Wendy's?
Peter
01:14:28
Wendy's real good. I think Wendy's is real good.
Eden
01:14:31
I think it's at least a B, honestly. I don't know if it's the best.
Peter
01:14:34
At least a B.
Eden
01:14:35
I don't know if it's of the best.
Peter
01:14:37
I mean, I don't think I can I was gonna say I don't know that Wendy's can hang with five guys, but Wendy's is Wendy's is real good.
Eden
01:14:46
It's really good. What a burger. It's fine.
Peter
01:14:49
And I've never had it, so whatever you think.
Eden
01:14:52
It's a C.
Peter
01:14:53
White Castle. How are you feeling about White Castle these days? I've heard all about White Castle. I've never had White Castle.
Eden
01:15:01
I fuck with White Castle. I think White Castle's really Good. I'm gonna put it on the B. There the thing is you have to get the cheese on the burgers. You can't get the plain burger. It's not flavorful enough. But you put the cheese on there. Oh man. And they're the tiny little slider burgers. And you get like six of them. And you're like, that's gonna be too many burgers. And it's not too many burgers. the right amount of words.
Peter
01:15:27
There you go.
Eden
01:15:28
Wiener Schnitzel. I remember dad going to it when we were kids, but I have no memory of what it was like.
Peter
01:15:36
I don't either. I just don't know.
Eden
01:15:38
I remember our parents eating Wiener Schnitzel on their honeymoon. That was one of the stories of their honeymoon. Was going to the Wiener Schnitzel on their honeymoon. It's kind of cute.
Peter
01:15:46
Yeah. We'll give it a C5. Making sure they're driving 55 miles an hour to make their gas last longer because he didn't have enough money to buy more gas.
Eden
01:15:56
You know, you make choices when you get married young.
Peter
01:16:00
You do. You do.
Eden
01:16:02
Okay, wings over. Never heard of this place. Wings oven? I don't know what this is. I don't know.
Peter
01:16:07
Yeah, never heard of it.
Eden
01:16:08
I think we got three real stinkers here at the end that I don't know anything about. Wingstop? I've never been there.
Peter
01:16:13
We have a wing stop in town. My boys will sometimes get food from uh I'll be honest and tell you, I think wings are such an incredibly overrated thing. This is a waste of time. I don't understand Yeah, I I don't understand people who go crazy about wings. I mean, give me boneless chunks of chicken every day. So I you know, I mean wing stop The boys like it when they get it, but it seems real overpriced for me. To me, so I'd put 'em down in like a deer and F, honestly.
Eden
01:16:40
F it us Uh yeah, I don't I don't get wings. We have Buffalo Wild Wings here. We don't have a wing stop. And every time I've gone, it's been off Warsaw, it's been because someone's been like, we're gonna go as a group to the Buffalo Wild Wings. And I'm like, great.
Peter
01:16:55
As the kids call it B dubs.
Eden
01:16:57
The B dubs, yeah. And you know I'm getting boneless uh with some sort of barbecue sauce. Who cares? Who gives a shit? Just give me some chicken nuggets for fuck's sake. And then last up, we have Zaxby's. I've never had Zaxby's. I don't know what this is.
Peter
01:17:11
Me either.
Eden
01:17:12
All right. So, dear listeners, to remind you, we have six restaurants in the the best category. This is incontrovertibly the six best restaurants in this list. Domino's, Five Guys, Portillo's, Schlotzky's, Taco Bell, and Waffle House. So now you know the best restaurants.
Peter
01:17:30
I think we got a nice variety, a nice little spread there.
Eden
01:17:34
I think so too. Well, uh this has gone a little long, dear listeners, but it's stupid and fun.
Peter
01:17:39
Oh, it was fun. I loved it.
Eden
01:17:42
Uh I'm really hungry now. Because I haven't had dinner yet. And you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go eat some leftover curry. Yay! I made a very big pot of Japanese-style curry yesterday, so I'm gonna go eat some curry. Perfect. All right. Well, well it was fun. I loved it. We will be back in two weeks with another episode. And uh until then, take care of yourselves, folks. Bye.