Beyond Your Default

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year . . . It’s the hap-happiest season of all.”

So says a classic song of the holiday season. But is it?

A lesser known Christmas song by Dean Martin sheds a little light on what some folks — regardless of their religious affiliation — might be feeling this time of year, when commercials push family togetherness and talk of New Year's resolutions start in full swing:

The Christmas Blues by Dean Martin

The jingle bells are jingling
The streets are white with snow
The happy crowds are mingling
But there's no one that I know
I'm sure that you'll forgive me
If I don't enthuse
I guess I've got the Christmas blues

I've done my window shopping
There's not a store I've missed
But what's the use of stopping
When there's no one on your list
You'll know the way I'm feeling
When you love and you lose

I guess I've got the Christmas blues
When somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Christmas is a joy of joy
But friends, when you're lonely
You'll find that it's only
A thing for little girls and little boys

May all your days be merry
Your seasons full of cheer
But 'til it's January
I'll just go and disappear

Oh Santa may have brought you some stars for your shoes
But Santa only brought me the blues
Those brightly packaged tinsel covered Christmas blues
Oh Santa may have brought you some stars for your shoes

But Santa only brought me the blues
Those brightly packaged tinsel covered Christmas blues

This week, we're not pretending that, for some of us, this time of year is a jingle bell-decked cake walk. Instead, we're leaning into the discomfort, loneliness, and stress some of us may be feeling as we look ahead to the new year. Rest assured, if any part of those lyrics resonated with you, you're certainly not alone. Heck, the last thing this holiday season is for me this year is normal, so I'm right there with you. 

So, gather 'round, friends. Your feelings, whatever they may be (anger, fear, lack of connection), are entirely valid. Now, let's talk about how we can move forward through this season together — perhaps with different perspectives.

Questions We Discuss
  • How do George and I struggle with the holiday season?
  • What is it about this time of year that creates so much artificial pressure to be joyous and goal-oriented? How much of this pressure is external? How much of it do we create for ourselves?
  • When you're just not feeling the holiday season, how do we navigate it? 
  • Why do we have such complex feelings about New Year's resolutions?
  • How would we encourage folks who struggle with New Year's resolutions, and the idea of a new year feels more overwhelming and daunting, to think about 2024? 
Key Takeaways
  • Reframe your expectations and create new traditions during the holiday season.
  • Take time for yourself and simplify your to-do list.
  • Connect with your why and be honest about your feelings.
  • Avoid the pressure to conform to societal expectations and focus on what brings you joy.
  • Instead of setting New Year's resolutions, strive for continuous personal growth throughout the year. Change your perspective on New Year's and view it as a fresh start rather than a time to fix past failures.
  • Set monthly goals instead of overwhelming resolutions.
  • Align your priorities and expectations to ensure they are in harmony.
  • Embrace the present moment and appreciate the progress you have made.
  • Believe in yourself and make 2024 the year of self-love.
Holiday + New Year's Statistics
The holiday season sparks conflicting feelings as over two in five U.S. adults (43%) would use both positive and negative words to describe the holidays, and 72% agree that the holiday season can feel bittersweet. Four in five adults (80%) would describe the holidays in positive terms such as fun (50%), joyous (49%), or exciting (45%), while 63% would use negative words such as stressful (40%), overwhelming or exhausting (34% each).

To manage the stress of the holiday season, nearly nine in 10 adults who reported experiencing stress at this time (88%) said they have coping mechanisms that help them handle it. A majority of adults who experience stress (70%) said they are comfortable talking with others about their stress during this time—although only 41% said they actually do so—while others focus on strategies such as managing their expectations (38%), reminding themselves that the season will pass (35%) or volunteering to help others (16%).

Fewer adults said they turn to negative or potentially harmful coping mechanisms during the holiday season. Close to two in five adults who experience stress during the holiday season (38%) said they use negative coping mechanisms such as isolating themselves (21%), changing their eating habits by overeating or restricting their diets (16%), or relying on substances such as alcohol or nicotine to feel better (13%).

Creators and Guests

Host
George B. Thomas
A catalyst for growth!
Host
Liz Moorehead
Content therapist and speaker.

What is Beyond Your Default?

What Is Beyond Your Default? "Everyone keeps telling me I should be happy, but I'm not." “I feel stuck.” “I have a calling, but where do I start?"

Right now, you have a choice. You can continue living within your default norms, playing it safe, clocking in and out every day, and scraping by to achieve what's supposed to make you happy hopefully. Or you can choose to accept the challenge of living beyond your default. Stop wishing to live your "best life” and start living your best life. Success leaves clues. And they're waiting for you to discover them.

George B. Thomas:

The narrative that we tell ourself, the words that we use you said nontraditional. No. No. No. No.

George B. Thomas:

No. No. No. New tradition. A new tradition.

George B. Thomas:

Because here's the thing. The reason that we always play that playlist. The reason that we always drink that eggnog. The reason that we always bake those cookies is because papa and mama did. See, the problem with this whole holiday thing sometimes is it is the 30 or so days that we are so focused on the past that we lose the now and forget about the future.

George B. Thomas:

And the hope and the joy and the blessings are in the now and in the future, but we're so focused on what we did with our parents and what we did as kids and what has happened every year for the last, Listen. Right now, if you're just like, this year sucks. This I can't get into the season. Make new traditions. Leave the past.

George B. Thomas:

Be in the now. Focus on what you're gonna do in these times for you, for your family in the future.

Liz Moorehead:

Welcome back to Beyond Your Default. I am your host, Liz Morehead, and as always, I'm joined by George b Thomas. George, it is our last recording of the year. Is this right? Is this our last recording of the year, or do we have one more?

Liz Moorehead:

Oh my gosh.

George B. Thomas:

Well, we'll call it the last, and then if we put another one out, it's because we're awesome.

Liz Moorehead:

Well, let's put it this way. This is our last recording before I mean, Christmas is next Monday.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. AKA the apocalypse. Yeah. Yeah. Christmas.

Liz Moorehead:

Wow. Don't sound too excited. Calm down. I literally have this in the notes for today. It's the most wonderful time of the year.

George B. Thomas:

Or is it? Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

Dun dun da. Which is what we're talking about today. This is a topic that you actually came to me with saying, I think this is what we should be talking about going into the end of the year, and I'd love to hear why. Because what we're talking about today is unwrapping holiday fatigue, the New Year's blues, and quite frankly, something that I think a lot of us are feeling right now, which is seasonal funk. So talk to me about that.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Without a doubt. And it's funny because, like, when you start to sing that, it's the most wonderful time of the right? And it's it's the happiest season of all. At least that's what, like, classic song saying.

George B. Thomas:

And I'm with you, Liz, but Is it? Like, and here's the thing. Like, the funk, the blues, the depression, call it what you wanna call it. So many times, we have this perception, forced expectations. It's been tradition.

George B. Thomas:

What like, again, you can label this so many different things that it's just supposed to be this joyous, amazing, frolicking. And and by the way, maybe back in, like, the thirties? Sure. Easy. Forties?

George B. Thomas:

No problem. Heck. Fifties sixties. Maybe it was the most wonderful time. Have you been to Walmart lately during the holiday season?

George B. Thomas:

Anyway, I try not to go there, but I'm gonna go into this thing, like, there is another side of this. Right? So, like, if I bring up, like, the thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, Dean Martin, like, he's pretty famous guy, and he sings a lot of Christmas songs. Winter Wonderland,

Liz Moorehead:

Marshmallow World.

George B. Thomas:

Marshmallow world, silver bells. But did you know that Dean Martin also has a song called the Christmas blues? And it's so interesting because I dove into the lyrics of this Dean Martin song called the Christmas blues, and it goes like this. The jingle bells are jingling. The streets are white with snow.

George B. Thomas:

The happy crowds are mingling, but there's no one that I know. I'm sure that you'll forgive me if I do not enthuse. I guess I've got the Christmas blues. I've done my window shopping. There's not a store I've missed, but what's the use of stopping when there's no one on your list?

George B. Thomas:

You'll know the way I'm feeling when you love and you lose. I guess I've got the Christmas blues. When somebody wants you, somebody needs you. Christmas is a joy of joy. But friends, when you're lonely, you'll find that it's only a thing for little girls and little boys.

George B. Thomas:

May all your days be merry. Your season's full of cheer, but till it's January, I'll just go and disappear. And I'm like, this is, like, the best song to lead into this conversation that we're having because my mind and by the way, like, there's a precipice to why I said, Liz, we gotta do an episode on this. But I listened to that song, and I think about historical conversations that I'm having with people. And I'm left wondering, how many listeners out there feel like they're Christmas orphans?

Liz Moorehead:

I mean, I do.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Right? And so I don't think it's more than we actually stop to think about because I feel like there's this really weird thing that happens in this season that we're moving into and gonna be through quite quickly. That instead of opening up in ways that we should, we actually kind of put blinders on, try to only see the joy, only see the happiness, Only anyway. Anyway.

Liz Moorehead:

Well, do you struggle with seasonal emotional funk this time of year during the holidays? And, honestly, I would say going into the remaining months of winter because I don't think a lot of people realize winter didn't start until 21st. We've been in fall mode and winter is only just beginning.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Which I love fall, by the way. Colorful leaves, temperatures are pretty dope. Winter gets a little funky for me. I don't really like the cold weather anymore.

George B. Thomas:

Here's the funny part, Liz. I used to have more problems with this when I lived in Ohio because it was so cloudy and gray and cold and, like, I although snow, there's this magical thing about snow in the season. Like and I just think that's because we're all told from birth that it's like, oh, wait Christmas. North Carolina, we don't really get much snow. And if we do, it's like here for a day, gone tomorrow type thing.

George B. Thomas:

But to answer your question, to be honest with you, it depends. Like, some years, I'll, like, feel totally joyful, totally festive. And then other years, I've just found myself feeling like, what the heck? Like, what is going on right now? Like, I know what the world and everybody around me is telling me I should be feeling, but that is that's not your boy right now.

George B. Thomas:

Like, I'm not feeling it. And the funny thing that this whole conversation that we're having today and this mindset that keeps running through my brain is predicated on this fact of, like, a feeling and, like, it's based off of a good year, and that's bullcrap. Like, listen, Liz. I've had some bad years. I felt totally festive.

George B. Thomas:

Freaking best Christosomes of all, and it was like a crap year. But I've had some amazing years, and it's just like, I'd maybe I maybe I just need to sit by the fire for a little bit because I'm not feeling it. Right? And I know that I'm not the only one because it was let's rewind back to Thanksgiving. And I was at a friend's house.

George B. Thomas:

We did Friendsgiving. It was like a couple different groups of families that got together. And we're out on the back porch, and I looked at one of my friends and I said, hey. Are you feeling the season? With my forced somewhat smile.

George B. Thomas:

Anticipating, by the way, of, like, holly jolly Christmas. But to which my friend said, I'm trying. And I was like, oh. The funny thing though is, Liz, through that forced smile, I was trying too. Like, I was trying to feel the season, but I wasn't feeling it.

George B. Thomas:

And to be honest with you, like, it made me sad for my friend, but it made me sad for me understanding that I was in this, like, preholiday funk and hadn't figured out why or how to kick it or where to go from there. And and it's funny. My brain is transported back to when we were a kid or kids. Right? Do you remember making those in school, those red and green paper ring countdown to those?

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

George B. Thomas:

As a kid, like, it was like, let's count down to the day. We're gonna wake up at 5 o'clock, and we're gonna open it's a now if we were to create those red and green rings, it'd probably be a countdown till, like, February 1st. When the freak is it over? Instead of instead of a countdown to the day of. Right?

George B. Thomas:

And there's a lot that comes along with that saying of, like, children and the holidays, and adults and the holidays, and maybe what we've brought along for the journey as adults based on our childhood of the holidays.

Liz Moorehead:

Wow. You know, it's interesting. I relate quite a bit to some of what you heard from your friends. You know? How's how's the season going?

Liz Moorehead:

Well, I'm trying. What's interesting though, George, is I'll and you don't you didn't know this going into today. My whole perspective on the holidays this year has radically shifted in the past 24 hours radically. Oh. Because when we went into today's conversation, I was fully prepared to talk from the perspective of, well, I do feel like a Christmas orphan.

Liz Moorehead:

This sucks. I got a divorce earlier this year. I'm living in a short term rental in downtown New Haven, while all of my belongings including 3 Christmas trees, yes, 3

George B. Thomas:

Wow.

Liz Moorehead:

Are in store.

George B. Thomas:

You're that person typically. That's nice.

Liz Moorehead:

I am. Well, here's what's interesting about it. All because all of my stuff is in storage in Edgewater, Maryland, 4 and a half hours away because that was where my old house was, and it was the best place to put my stuff at the time. And I knew this year was going to be tough because what's fascinating about it is that, you know, I've I've talked a bit about my challenging upbringing on a few episodes on this on the show, but, you know, as you grow into adulthood, you you realize that the stories of our families are not black and white. Even people who from the outside might consider the villains of your story, it's like, did I have a very complex relationship with my mother?

Liz Moorehead:

Yes. But do you know what the best memories I have growing up are? Christmas. She went out of her way to make sure that every Christmas was special. It didn't necessarily mean I was being spoiled with a 1,000 presents, but it was it's the time I remember feeling the most connected with my family.

Liz Moorehead:

So as I've gotten older, even though I don't have kids, Christmas is a time where I nest. It's where I decorate. It's where I look around and maybe I can't believe I'm saying this as a Yankee. I know we have a couple of shared clients from the south who are like, is this Yankee about to be not cynical? Yes.

Liz Moorehead:

Yes, I am. One of the things I do love about this season is that even though it's overly commercialized and companies are just trying to get you to spend money with them, it's in service of this idea of being kinder to other people and showing and telling people that you love them regardless as to whether or not you're related to them. So when I was going into this year, knowing that all of my stuff was packed away in a storage unit, that I'm not in a giant house like I was last year with dogs and a big backyard and a husband and a perfect life on paper. I'm I'm in a tiny room that I'm renting out in a house. I decided I'm just not gonna do Christmas this year.

George B. Thomas:

Oh.

Liz Moorehead:

And here's what was interesting about it. I realized I was being the coal in the story you told a long time ago, where you had spoken to someone about what happens to someone when they remove themselves from a community. You know, sometimes you need time away. You need to be the coal that's not directly in the heat of the fire. But at some point, if you are a little lump of coal who stays out a little too far too long, you get cold, you get lonely.

Liz Moorehead:

You're removing yourself from your own group of people. So what's interesting is that a friend of mine sent me a tiny Christmas tree. I'm like, what? It's this little tiny tree. And then my friend said, hey, are you coming over for Christmas Eve?

Liz Moorehead:

We'd love to have you. Hey, we'd love to have you come over on Christmas day. But what's interesting about that is that that's not what happened in the past 24 hours. What happened in the past 24 hours is that I realized I had been telling myself a story of being an orphan. So I'm in an interesting spot where, is this the ideal Christmas?

Liz Moorehead:

No. But I don't feel like I'm missing anything. And this is where I think we start getting into the next question I wanna talk about, which is this pressure to feel a particular way. Once I stopped trying to editorialize my own feelings about the holiday, and just said, hey, I don't have to be totally into it this year. I don't have to judge myself for not having a massive production, or a home, or like some type Hey, why don't I just give myself a little high five for making it to the end of this year in one freaking piece?

Liz Moorehead:

Like that is that is a gift I can give to myself. So I'd be curious to hear from you, George, because this about face was not something I was expecting. I was expecting to show I'm so sad. It it's so it's lonelier than usual, but next year will be fine. And this year, if I allow it to be what it is, I might find more joy than I expected.

Liz Moorehead:

So let's talk about it. What would you say to would you say folks feel more pressure to get into the holiday spirit to be more goal oriented around this time of year?

George B. Thomas:

Well yeah. Yeah. But first of all, let's unpack a couple of things because that that was spicy right there. Like, give it the room to allow it to be what it is. Give it the room to allow it to be what it is.

George B. Thomas:

I want people to put that in their brain, peck it away for the journey that we're gonna keep having, on this episode. But, Liz, you said the magic word that just came like, when I saw this question came pounding to the front of my brain, and that is this idea of, you have to get in the holiday spirit. Because if not, 2 things are gonna happen. Others are gonna judge you, and then you're gonna judge yourself. And now all of a sudden, you've created this, like, reciprocal cycle of chaos in your brain to the fact that you don't feel like singing freaking jingle bells, or you don't wanna sit down and make Christmas cookies, or you don't wanna like, you don't wanna do some things that tradition, that history, that the media, that your friends, family, and everybody else on the planet have told you this has to happen.

George B. Thomas:

So there's a massive dose of, like, self judgment and being judged just because you didn't wear an ugly sweater to work or a freaking elf hat. Like, what? And if we just stop for a second and what I love about what you were saying is, like, what came, like, flying in was like, yes. Liz freed herself. Liz freed herself from the jail of judgment, from herself and from others.

George B. Thomas:

Right? And so, yeah, I feel like we have this pressure that is put on us. Some of it's because people in higher places want us to spend money that we don't have to create stress that makes us wanna just go out and be like, this sucks. Like, it's so modernized and commoditized and, like, it's transactional. Right?

George B. Thomas:

And so if we're leaning into that, that's where I I think we end up getting an issue. You were gonna say something, though.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah. And what I find interesting about it too is that you just said something there that triggered something obviously, which is this idea of I think we're very used to I think what happens is we will have this expectation in our head of what our perfect Christmas looks like. We listen to the same albums. We watch the same movies. We do very specific things.

Liz Moorehead:

And so what I found this year is, like, once I kinda gave myself permission to just feel the feels, because I think that's something that's really important too. If you're having a down and out year, it's not a crime to feel the feelings of having a down and out year. But here's what's funny. So normally, I'm the girl who, like, I don't care how bad they are. I watch the Hallmark Christmas movies.

Liz Moorehead:

I have a curated Christmas joy playlist on Spotify that I have listened to and been curating for the past 12 years. I haven't done either of those two things. I haven't baked. I haven't done anything. But do you know what I've done this year?

Liz Moorehead:

I've watched Die Hard. I've watched Die Hard 2. I've started finding kind of like fun and weird ways to get into the holiday spirit that are a little bit more non traditional. And now I'm like, oh, I'm creating new memories. I'm creating new ways of celebrating that if I had been stuck in my head about, Christmas must look this way, and if I'm not listening to this playlist, am I even really celebrating?

Liz Moorehead:

And and if I'm not going to this store and doing this thing on this day. Like, once I stopped being a control freak about my own Christmas experience, I realized another Christmas experience started leaking in.

George B. Thomas:

Oh. Oh. So first of all, so much to get there to unpack. 1, control and controlling the season and controlling your reason for the season instead of just the reason. But, also, I wanna dive into this idea.

George B. Thomas:

The narrative that we tell ourself, the words that we use. You said nontraditional. No. No. No.

George B. Thomas:

No. No. No. No. New tradition.

George B. Thomas:

A new tradition. Because here's the thing. The reason that we always play that playlist, the reason that we always drink that eggnog, the reason that we always bake those cookies is because papa and mama did. See, the problem with this whole holiday thing sometimes is it is the 30 or so days that we are so focused on the past that we lose the now and forget about the future. And the hope and the joy and the blessings are in the now and in the future, but we're so focused on what we did with our parents and what we did as kids and what has happened every year for the last listen.

George B. Thomas:

Right now, if you're just like, this year sucks. This I can't get into the season. Make new traditions. Leave the past. Be in the now.

George B. Thomas:

Focus on what you're gonna do in these times for you, for your family in the future.

Liz Moorehead:

I love everything you just said there, particularly because I I'm now realizing, although I don't know why it took me this long, and you're probably gonna be like, Liz, this is my surprised face while you make no expression at all. I think I'm kind of realizing how much I was trying to control and live in the past, and maybe that's why we're always setting ourselves up a little bit for disappointment. If you're constantly in the business of quote unquote creating new memories, but all you're really trying to do is basically do like a civil war reenactment of the past. Can you ever actually move forward? Can you ever actually be happy?

Liz Moorehead:

Is something always going to feel like it's missing because you are always gonna be doing a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy.

George B. Thomas:

Listen, we've all watched the movie. We've all watched Groundhog Day or some version of Groundhog Day. How is that day that you've done 32 times gonna be any types of special? Like, you already know the punch line. You know the ending of the story.

George B. Thomas:

You know the feel before the feel gets there so you don't get the feels that it originally gave you.

Liz Moorehead:

So let me ask you this. You've spoken a bit about the conversations you've had with other folks, and you've alluded to the fact that you've had some years where you're just, like, you're just not feeling it. Right? So how do you navigate that from an emotional perspective?

George B. Thomas:

This one's difficult. I'm gonna think on it. I saw this question in preparation for today and immediately was like, oh, no.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah. Because I explicitly told you you couldn't give advice. You had to talk about your fee fees.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, no. It it literally stopped me in my tracks, but then what's funny is when I started to put pen to paper or keyboard to, Google Doc, in my case, I was quite surprised at how fast what I naturally do float onto the page. And then I sat and looked at it and was like, So how do I navigate holiday season and feeling like it's like the stormiest of ocean storms ever, and I'm afraid that my ship is gonna sink.

George B. Thomas:

The first thing that I do, honestly, is I try to slow down because if you think of the holiday season, the word frantic comes to mind. I I jokingly said, have you been to Walmart? By the way, no offense, Walmart. If you're a Walmart employee or own Walmart and listening to this by some strange stretch of the imagination, it's frantic. Like, there's Brown Thursday, Black Friday, Cyber Monday.

George B. Thomas:

Special, special, special. Like, come on. Like, holy crap. And there's more people out than ever, and you're like like, I've seen grown grandmas punch people for a freaking, like, carte hoi. It's like, anyway, so so one of the things I do is I I just try to slow down and breathe.

George B. Thomas:

Like, literally, this is where many of the times where I've, like, not had a bad day and done breathing exercises. I think it's all in, like, practicing for the holiday season when I really need to use the breathing exercises and just slow myself down. And I almost when I go shopping now, I almost feel like I put this invisible force field up to, like, my left, right, and behind me, but I keep the front open because I wanna actually be the kind person in the room. Like, I'm gonna be the one that over indexes on thank yous and have a nice day and because that they're not really getting that from a lot of people. Right?

George B. Thomas:

So just slow yourself down. Even almost sink more into just being that happy, helpful, humble human that you know you always are and not let letting the season sweep you away into what it seems like it might be. The other thing is, Liz, it's funny that you you used the word control because the next thing that I jotted down was I try to let go. Like, I just try to let go. I try not to control it, but more importantly, I try not to fight the feeling of the fact that I'm in the funk.

George B. Thomas:

I just embrace it. Like, it is what it is, and I'm gonna entertain it. I'm gonna think about it. I'm sure I'll get past it, but I don't hold on to it and wrestle with it and battle with it because, like, if I'm holding on to it and wrestling it, how's it ever gonna really go away? Like, if I let go of it, then it can disappear.

George B. Thomas:

The other thing that I jotted down is I try to lean into gratitude. Right? So I reflect on the 11 months versus the 30 days. Like, okay. Let's get the pen out.

George B. Thomas:

Let's write all the good things that have happened in this past 11 months. Let's get the pen out, and let's be happy for all the things that are about to come. I like to also try to transport myself into the now. It's real hard for me to not think about, like, Christmases with my grandparents or Christmases with my parents. Especially now that we live in North Carolina and, like, that doesn't this doesn't happen.

George B. Thomas:

Like, we have our family, which I love and adore, and we we go over and we hang out with friends, but it's not that forties, fifties, sixties, you know, postcard Christmas, 3 or 4 generations sitting around by the yuletide and sipping eggnog. Like, it's but I try to put myself in now instead of those past memories. And then this one is a little bit harder. I try to reimagine or realign my expectations. Like, I really need to get this much stuff.

George B. Thomas:

Do I need anything? Do they really like, you mentioned the word spoiled, and my brain goes to, like, you don't have to be spoiled to feel special. Like, we've had some of the simplest Christmases, and that's where my kids will talk about, like, oh, do you remember that year when we didn't have shit under the tree? Like, you know, and it's like, how is that the year that you remember? But we are over indexing on actually what matters.

George B. Thomas:

Like, the fact that we are together and we loved each other and that versus, like, the actual physical giving of the gifts. And, Liz, if none of those work, by the way, if that whole list, my go to where I'm like, man, I'm really up the creek without a paddle here. I just go buy a carton of eggnog, put a little brandy in it, sit back and watch the fire, turn the tunes on, and hope for the best.

Liz Moorehead:

You know, it's interesting. There's only one I would add to that list, which is the thing I did for myself this year. And that's, first of all, are you being honest with yourself about why you're upset this season? So what's fascinating is that for a while there, I had this just deep existential dread going into this Christmas. And on the surface level, like, I was able to superficially say, well, it's not gonna be the same, you know, it's going to be like, you know, all of my decorations are in boxes in a different state, and I don't have anybody to celebrate with, and I am divorced, and this sucks, and boohoo, pity, pity, pity.

Liz Moorehead:

And to be honest, those feelings aren't invalid, and those feelings were truthful. But when I sat down and I was finally honest with myself, and I said, Liz, why are you actually upset? And that's when my little inner cupcake, which is what I call my intuition, because I know some people are like, it's divine, it's secular. It doesn't I don't know. It's a baked good that lives in my stomach area that occasionally tells me what it is that I'm actually feeling.

Liz Moorehead:

It's great. And my little inner cupcake said, you're not actually unhappy about having an off year. You're worried you're never gonna have another big Christmas again. And that was what I found really fascinating. That's where I started referring back to that story about the piece of coal.

Liz Moorehead:

You take a piece of coal away from all of the other lumps, eventually it's gonna go cold. It's gonna feel detached and disconnected from its community. The fire is gonna go out. Right? And that's when I realized it wasn't necessarily that I was annoyed with the season.

Liz Moorehead:

I was trying to avoid feeling that existential fear of what if all of my best Christmases are now behind me. Because this year, I decided to bet on myself. Like, the reason I went through a divorce is because I made the decision to want better for myself and for my ex partner. You know what I mean? I knew it was the right thing to do.

Liz Moorehead:

I, in March, intentionally detonated an on paper perfect life. Like, I am here because I made this choice. I bet on myself, and it's that little weird moment of what if I bet wrong. I know I didn't. Here's the thing, I know I didn't and once I allowed myself to feel that feeling and be honest with myself about what I was afraid of, I said, you know what, Liz?

Liz Moorehead:

Your Christmases will be different going forward, but it is your choice as to whether or not they will be inclusive, community oriented, bold, warm, whatever it is. You have the ability to paint your own masterpiece here, but you're also allowed to just take a year off. And once I did that, once I separated it and realized it was the fear, I realized I actually didn't have a problem with having a quiet year. I don't have to decorate anything. I don't have to cook anything.

Liz Moorehead:

I asked both my friends at for Christmas Eve and Christmas day, hey. Do you need me to do anything? No. Just bring yourself. Fantastic.

Liz Moorehead:

I'm gonna go pick up some cannoli, and I'll see you there. Like, that's great.

George B. Thomas:

You are knocking on the door, like, simplifying the complex. That's the thing. I think sometimes we make Christmas, the holiday seasons, too dang complex. But, Liz, I wanna rewind because you said something at the beginning of that where you're like, this is going to suck. Right?

George B. Thomas:

And you're in the mind frame of because I did this, this, and this, this is going to suck. And here's the thing that I've learned about life. If you think it's gonna suck, it's gonna suck. It just is. And so, literally, there's something I do every day, and I've started this after the starting of this podcast because I think we're just preaching to ourselves so many times.

George B. Thomas:

The first things I say to myself in the morning now is today is going to be a good day. Today is going to be a good day. Today is going to be a good day. Because if I believe it, if I think it, if I move in that motion, then guess what? Today is gonna be a good day.

George B. Thomas:

Are there gonna be some bumps along the way? Yeah. But guess what? Today is gonna be a good day. And so getting out of this mind frame of preselecting how you're going to feel or what is going to happen, there's a pretty cool Jules Renard quote, by the way, that I think goes with this, like, it's gonna suck, so it's gonna suck, or today's gonna be a good day because it's gonna be a good day.

George B. Thomas:

And as Jules Renard said, everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you, but you have to take action to get it. I want today to be a good day. I'm gonna take action for the day to be a good day. I want my holiday season to not be stressful, complicated, and suck.

George B. Thomas:

I'm gonna take action to simplify it, to make it happy, to reframe the brain, to get into like, whatever it is for you that you're picking up that we're laying down on this episode. Right? Like, that's that's where I think people can take this episode and do a pivot shift for this holiday and future holiday seasons. Because, by the way, I think this bad boy right here could be timeless. You might just listen to this every November 7th of the year to, like, get yourself ready.

George B. Thomas:

You know, it's like the rocky theme before you're, like, actually gonna get in a fight when you're in school. You're, like, listen to the theme and, like, this might be your theme for, like, the holiday season moving forward.

Liz Moorehead:

You know, it's funny too. It you just reminded me of the fact that I think we also don't know in the moment when we're creating really great memories. We don't know where they're gonna look like. Think about what your kids said like, that's the Christmas they think about, that's the Christmas they romanticize. I'm gonna remember this year as the year that I made a 100 tiny meatballs in my bedroom on Thanksgiving morning because myself and my roommate and another person, there was too much traffic in the kitchen.

Liz Moorehead:

So I'm like, you know what, I'm just gonna take this big mixing bowl upstairs and like this giant baking tray. And now this is the year that I made it the best batch of Italian wedding soup with meatballs that began in my bedroom. Like, that's hilarious to me. That's ridiculous to me. And I think, again, it's about allowing the season to be what it is.

Liz Moorehead:

But I think also being okay with the fact that, like, I wanna be very careful with our listeners here and say, you know, just because I've had this epiphany doesn't mean that that I'm not gonna wake up on Christmas morning and be really bummed out that I'm alone. You know? Like, that's the thing. That's okay, though. That's okay.

Liz Moorehead:

You don't have to be perfect all the time.

George B. Thomas:

Well, here's the thing, though. Here's the thing. I'm gonna be funny for a second. So

Liz Moorehead:

Just one second.

George B. Thomas:

Just one second. If you wake up on Christmas, just make sure you have some of that wedding soup available. Because by the way, wedding soup makes everything better. Like, when you were mentioning the tiny meatballs in the wedding soup, it you transported me to years ago, Years ago where there was a Sicilian family that I knew, and they made this homemade wedding soup. And I swear to god, it was like the nectar of the gods.

George B. Thomas:

Like, anyway, not why we're here, but yes,

Liz Moorehead:

listeners. The superior soup.

George B. Thomas:

Listeners, I love me some wedding soup. I'm just gonna throw that out there.

Liz Moorehead:

Okay. So I know we still wanna talk about New Year's here, but before we move on to New Year's because I know you and I both have lots of thoughts on the new the New Year's industrial complex as I like to call it. But if someone is struggling with feeling overwhelmed by the holiday season right now, before we trip face 1st into New Year's. What are some now you don't have to talk about your feelings anymore, George. You are now welcome to give advice.

Liz Moorehead:

What advice would you give them?

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. I wanna keep it simple. Right? Because if it becomes too complex, then it's something we can't use. And so I think there's 4 things that I wanna mention here.

George B. Thomas:

One is just taking the time to connect with your why. And what I'm gonna say here is I'm not talking about, like, you'll hear some punchy lines of, like, the reason for the season and and, you know, it is a Christian holiday, by the way, which fundamentally and probably a whole another thing that we could talk about. But the fact that there are a lot of cultures out there that might think that they're gonna be discriminated against because it's act a Christian holiday, like, makes me freaking sad. So that's not what I'm talking about when I say the why here. I'm literally saying, like, no.

George B. Thomas:

No. No. No. Your why. Whatever your why for this season is, then connect with that.

George B. Thomas:

Like, don't lose sight of it based on everything else that the people, friends, family, world, media is throwing at you. Why? Why do you take this as a time of reflection? Why do you take this as a time of goals? Why do you take like, what's your why?

George B. Thomas:

Especially moving forward. Like, anyway, second thing I'll say here is reframe your expectations. You mentioned the freaking Hallmark Channel. While I'll sit and watch the Hallmark Christmas movies with my wife, I will. I will do that.

George B. Thomas:

I do it in the complete understanding of that it is fake. It is fake. And so many people will watch that, and they'll wanna transport themselves into this unrealistic reality. Like, just to the left or to the right, do you know there's lights and extension cords? Because it's a set.

George B. Thomas:

It's a set. It's fake. Nobody's life

Liz Moorehead:

is gotta do that?

George B. Thomas:

Nobody's life do that to me, George. Nobody's life is nobody's life is ever gonna be the freaking Hallmark Channel, Christmas Channel. So, sure, enjoy them, bask in them, but realize there's, like, dirty rugs, electrical cords, and a guy named Joe dishing out coffee to people because he's like an intern. Listen to me. Reframe your expectations of what you really think it should be, could be, and needs to be for you and yours.

George B. Thomas:

The other one is simplify your to do list. Holy bejesus. We've gotta go to this place, that place, this place over here. We've gotta bake this, cook this, do that. We gotta get these presents here, get that store over there.

George B. Thomas:

Oh, this place has this. I'm getting tired just thinking about all the things people think that they need to do. So simplify your to do list during the season. And then here's the one that I'll say. Take time for yourself.

George B. Thomas:

Give yourself the gift of you. Like, allow you to be you, allow you to have a break, allow you to take some time to get away from it all. And just again, I could bring up that trunk of a tree. This time, it would be a pine tree, though, which might actually not be comfortable to lean against. But the point is, like, take time for yourself.

George B. Thomas:

So connect with your why, reframe your expectations, simplify your to do list, and take time for yourself during the holiday season.

Liz Moorehead:

Other than the slanderous accusations against Hallmark Channel movies, I agree with everything you just said. Moving on.

George B. Thomas:

Well, we might get hate mail from Joe the intern, but we'll see.

Liz Moorehead:

I know. Poor Joe the intern. You know what, Joe? I hope you know you're my reason for the season. I appreciate you.

Liz Moorehead:

Thank you for making Vancouver in July somehow look like Connecticut, New York, Michigan, and other various small towns across the country in December. You are doing the Lord's work. Anyway, let's talk about New Year's resolutions. This is one of the things you and I bonded about very early on. We both have beef, but I would like to understand what your particular flavor of beef is with New Year's resolutions.

Liz Moorehead:

Because what's interesting about this is that you're a goal oriented guy. You are someone who strives to be 1% better every day. We're literally talking on a podcast right now about personal growth and development, and we are both people who look at New Year's resolutions in its stereotypical form and go, no. No. Thank you.

Liz Moorehead:

So talk to me about that.

George B. Thomas:

No. I mean, it's stupid. It's just stupid. Like, there is nothing special about January 1st. You're right.

George B. Thomas:

I am goal oriented. I'm goal oriented 365 days a year. Like, this this idea of that I'm gonna start something new because it's a new year to me. I it just feels stupid. And it's so based on, like, the things that are happening around us more times than the things that need to come out from us.

George B. Thomas:

Now what I mean by that is I dug into some of the stats. I'm not usually a stats kinda guy, Liz, but most popular New Year's resolution for, like, a recent 2024 poll, fitness. Interesting. 2023, physical health. Okay.

George B. Thomas:

So fitness. 2022, mental health. What changed? Well, what had the world just gone through? So why was that people's New Year's resolution?

George B. Thomas:

Because the world had fallen, and now they wanted to figure out how to fix their brain about it. Right? Like, 2022 is Anyway, I'm not gonna name what it was. But here's the thing. Like, if we even dig in deeper and we think about what goals are people setting and by the way, if you're listening to this and you set some of these goals or this is your New Year's resolution, I'm not hating on you.

George B. Thomas:

I'm just saying 2024 remember that poll? Back to that poll. Improved fitness, 48% of people said improved fitness. Improved finances, 38% of people said improved finances. Improved mental health, 36% of people said improved mental health.

George B. Thomas:

Lose weight, 34% of people said lose weight. Improved diet, which by the way, improved, like, fitness and diet to me kind of go hand in hand, 32% of people. And so the idea are about, like, physical things in your life. Now the less are about, like, physical things in your life. Now the less popular resolutions include traveling more.

George B. Thomas:

Okay. Cool. 6%. This is where it gets interesting to me. Meditating regularly, 5%.

George B. Thomas:

Drinking less, alcohol, 3%. Performing better at work, 3%. And I look at that, and I think about the meditating regularly, and I think about the drinking less alcohol and the performing better at work, and I'm like, listen. If maybe if you did more of these things, the other things might not be as difficult. And would they need to be the resolutions at that time?

George B. Thomas:

Many times, you find yourself in the camp of setting lofty goals for the new year only to find you're, like, falling off the wagon. And that's the thing. What really got me and what was funny to me is this idea of there's actually days, by the way. There's days mentioned when you fall off your New Year's resolution, unofficial days, by the way, called ditch New Year's resolution day, January 17th. And while others kinda lean into something else, another kind of what I'll call fictional day, but the 2nd Friday of January is called quitters day.

George B. Thomas:

So you've got all these people who have these goals, percentage of people at least. By the way, if there's only 48%, there's another percentage that, anyway, they're setting these goals, and then there's these easy outs on the other side of it. And so this idea of 1st of the year, this idea of only at this time instead of thinking about 365 days a year, that's where I just kinda go crazy. So, Liz, now that I'll I'll get off my soapbox about my New Year's resolution, theories, and issues, what are your thoughts?

Liz Moorehead:

I agree with a lot of what you said that January 1st is an arbitrary day. And I think sometimes what we'll get hung up on is our ability to make these massive life changes based on the switching of a single calendar day. But when I think about we did these, we did an episode at the very beginning of our beyond your default journey, which I would encourage people to go back and listen to if they haven't already, which is identifying the starting lines in your life, but also the ending points, the finish lines. And I think my relationship with New Year's radically changed when I stopped looking at January 1st as the day in which I unsuck all of the failures of the previous year, and take a moment and look back behind my shoulder and go, damn girl, look what you did this year. Now how are we gonna build on that?

Liz Moorehead:

How are we gonna keep going forward? There is a part of me that mentally likes having a day where it's like, cool. So we're we're starting back, everybody's starting at the same starting line again, and I like that part of it. But I agree with you. There is this there is this it's like all of a sudden we completely forget that like it is impossible for anybody to change all of their habits all at once at the exact same time.

Liz Moorehead:

That's not how any of this works. Psychologically, we are programmed to resist change. We are how much you work out you don't smoke, how much you work out, all of these different things? No. I I just like having a new month where I get to kinda have that fresh start.

Liz Moorehead:

But one of the the going back to that idea of celebrating the finish line, I think we forget to do that. We have all this build up to dreading the New Year and dreading the new year. Well, how about just taking a moment and saying, you know what? I got to the end of this year in one piece. Maybe a little bit dinged up, maybe maybe some things didn't go exactly as planned.

Liz Moorehead:

But what were some of what are some of the beautiful ways we can celebrate this finish line? Because then, it's less about rewriting our story of who we are, because we're such fundamental fundamentally flawed failures that we're not good enough in our current form. Instead, you're looking ahead to a new year and thinking about how do I build upon the great things I'm already doing. That's my thought.

George B. Thomas:

So so good. The thing of, like, how can I unsuck the previous part of my life? I love that. And it's funny because on my whiteboard behind me on the daily basis is there's a saying that says you've come a long way since 2013. And it's my constant reminder of, like, you're doing good.

George B. Thomas:

You're doing good. And, listeners, I would ask you, like, what is your daily reminder that you're doing good, that you're headed in the right direction, that you've taken a step today to get to where you need to go. If you don't have that, that's one of the things I would immediately put in place somewhere where you can visually see it.

Liz Moorehead:

I love that. You know? And that that's something I've had to do at multiple points this time this year that ties back into our conversation about the holidays and Christmas. You know, am I in my picture perfect space? Is this what I ideally want my life to look like?

Liz Moorehead:

No. But I'm in the middle of a chapter, in the middle of a big story. And I've had to remind myself of, man, some of the phone calls you and I had earlier this year when I thought the sky was falling and things were my life was literally on fire. You know? And I start reminding myself, like, every single day, it's gotten a little bit better.

Liz Moorehead:

Every single day, you still made the choice to get up and keep going and keep running at the wall and keep climbing and keep trying, and and that is something to be celebrated and I'm convinced that every single person listening to this right now may have some version of that from this year. Right? They may have some version of this is not where I wanna be. Maybe that's in big ways, maybe that's in little ways, but have you taken a look at how far you've come in the past month, 2 months, 6 months, since this time last year? How have you grown?

Liz Moorehead:

How have you changed? How have you improved? I mean, by virtue of the fact that you're even listening to this right now, you are someone who is at least hardwired in some way to keep growing. Like, when I was thinking about the things that I was grateful for this morning, because I have a morning gratitude practice, and I was I talked about being grateful for people, friends. And then finally, said, you know what, I'm grateful for me, because maybe it borders on mental illness, but there is something about me where I am hardwired to not stay down.

Liz Moorehead:

Like I will take a hit, I will I will not always make the right choices, but for some reason, I will always get back up and I will keep going. And that is something to be grateful for.

George B. Thomas:

Preach. Like, listen. If that's mental illness, I got it too. I'm diagnosed. You can hit me as hard as you want.

George B. Thomas:

This boy's gonna get back up and go after it again, and I think that's just, you know, that's something that to me, when I look at people who have that in their life, it's a superpower. But, Liz, I think, like, we might have hit a rewind point in this podcast. Meaning, Liz, you went through, like, a multitude of questions and things to think about. Ladies and gentlemen, you might wanna rewind this podcast, pause it, find that base of a tree, sit against it, and just listen to that part again with your journal and just start writing some stuff down for yourself. I was listening to that going, I'm gonna need a minute after this episode.

George B. Thomas:

Like, I need to go listen to what Liz just said.

Liz Moorehead:

Oh, thanks, bud. Well, let me ask you this. Just like with the holidays, there are folks out there right now struggling with this concept of a new year. Now they may be struggling with it in a number of different ways. There are folks who maybe don't resonate with the idea of, you know, I have sadness over the holidays.

Liz Moorehead:

I actually have friends who start feeling depressed at the beginning of the year because the holidays are over. All of a sudden, the only thing we have to look forward to are the Super Bowl and taxes. You know what I mean? Like, it's about to be a drought of celebration and feelings or whatever. But we have a lot of folks who have complicated feelings about the new year, whether it's about resolutions, whether it's about reflecting on the year that was, whether it's about the holiday season passing.

Liz Moorehead:

How would you encourage people to move forward into the new year, whether it's resolutions or goal setting? That kind of stuff is overwhelming and daunting.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Yeah. Boy, I sure do love me some taxes though, man. I get it. No.

George B. Thomas:

I'm just kidding. Nobody ever said that.

Liz Moorehead:

What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? Nobody ever said that.

George B. Thomas:

So it's funny, Liz. I literally had I'll call it an epiphany moment in that last section when you're going because I think I just tied something together in my historical database to why I actually might hate New Year's resolutions. And that is I'll never forget, and it was my dad that said, today's the first day of the rest of your life. And, I mean, I heard it all the time. All the time.

George B. Thomas:

Like, hey. Morning, sunshine. Remember, today's the first day of the rest of your life. And I feel like that's so ingrained that every day is the first day. And, Liz, you said, you kind of like this idea of a new month, and it can be a fresh and anew.

George B. Thomas:

And what I would encourage folks to do because if you're getting stressed over, like, I'm gonna say this, and then I'm gonna screw it up, and then I'm gonna feel bad about myself, and I'm gonna, by the way, full circle judge myself. Self. And if I put it out to the world and I don't do it, then others are gonna judge me. Literally, what we talked about at the beginning of this podcast episode, judgment, which might be a whole episode in itself in the future. But, anyway, I would say break this bad boy down.

George B. Thomas:

What if every month was a new month and you had a monthly goal that you're trying to achieve for that month? And so now let's just say your New Year's resolution, you were gonna say, I'm going to which by the way, you're gonna say, I'm gonna lose weight. It's not a freaking goal. It's a dream. How much weight?

George B. Thomas:

In what time frame? Now also notes a goal. Like, you have to have these, like, different metrics to actually turn it into a goal. But instead of it being, like, I'm gonna lose a £100 in 2024. What if it was, like, okay.

George B. Thomas:

Go for January. January resolution, if you will. I'm gonna lose £7 in the next 30 days. February. Guess what?

George B. Thomas:

February resolution, I'm gonna lose £8 in February. March res okay. I'm not gonna go through the whole calendar, ladies and gentlemen. You get my point. Like, every month could be a resolution or a goal for that month.

George B. Thomas:

What this does is it starts to allow you to train your brain and actually hit these goals and feel the dopamine of success instead of the freaking terror of, like, not being able to do it and being judged. So break this into, like, monthly goals, and then maybe try to embrace this idea of every day that you wake up, it's a gift. And from this day forward, today is the first day of the rest of your life. What are you gonna do with it? That's it.

George B. Thomas:

That's what I would encourage them to do moving forward.

Liz Moorehead:

You know, I have to chime in about the weight thing just because that's, that's, you know health is something that has been, as you know, a high priority of mine going into the end of this year. I turned 41 in October

George B. Thomas:

26th. And Young whippersnapper.

Liz Moorehead:

I know. One of the gifts I gave to myself is I'm gonna pour more energy into my health than into my sadness. That was like, I I kinda hit an inflection point of my own sadness. I'm like, I'm done with my sad girl siesta. Like, this has this must all end for my god father to folks out there.

Liz Moorehead:

But what I find what what I might encourage people to do if they and again, I'm not some amazing big health expert here. If you have weight as a quote, unquote symptom of success, like, that is an output you wanna see, but you have not been someone who has brought working out or exercise or fitness, Be careful about the numbers you put to it because you don't know how your body's gonna react. Sometimes you're gonna have months where you lose a lot of weight, Sometimes you're gonna have months where you don't use lose a lot. And that could be a number of reasons. Water retention, plateauing, a thousand reasons.

Liz Moorehead:

But instead, maybe just say, I love what you said, George, about, like, taking it month by month. Maybe make January your month of, I'm just gonna show up. It's less about the output of the weight lost and more about building the healthy habit. So I'm gonna show up to the gym 3 times a week, and I don't care what I do for 30 minutes, but I have to be there. And you're just starting to build the habit and then you can build on it, because if you're trying to change your lifestyle, weight is a numerical goal.

Liz Moorehead:

It's something that should be monitored. It is something you should be looking at, but it gets a little dicey. Anyway, that's a that's a down the rabbit hole kind of thing. But I love what you said there, George, about breaking it up into smaller chunks and smaller pieces. What's interesting is that when I think about how I think about New Year's resolutions, is I actually think more about my priorities.

Liz Moorehead:

Alright. This is a great time to think about what it is that I wanna focus on. So when I'm looking ahead to the New Year, I'm actually not setting a resolution of any kind, like, all of a sudden, I'm gonna eat healthier. No. Going into the new year, I'm gonna reassess my diet the way I reassessed my relationship with fitness and exercise earlier this year, and I'm gonna start making slow incremental changes that I know will benefit me.

Liz Moorehead:

Now there are other things too that I'm thinking about, like, I have some things where, like, I wanna have x number of meditation sessions in a particular month. I have x number of journaling days. Like, I have I have a few things that I like to do as my daily and weekly practices that I'm continuing to monitor and foster. But really, it's about you've come a long way, baby. Now where do you wanna go?

George B. Thomas:

It's interesting. I'll just put one little dot on top of what you just said because we just did an episode on expectations. And for some reason, it came rushing into my brain of, like, you used the word priorities. Like, it's a good thing and look at my priorities. And for some reason, I asked myself mentally in the moment when you said that, yes.

George B. Thomas:

But do my priorities align with my expectations of myself? Something to think about.

Liz Moorehead:

Do they? Yeah. Well, let me ask you. Do they?

George B. Thomas:

I mean, I don't know. I need to sit down at the base of that tree and figure out 2024 and my priorities and my expectations of myself and because, historically, I would say probably not, Liz. Resolutions are like, I'm gonna just do this thing. Wee. And it has nothing to do with anything else that me as a human or what I'm trying to do other than this, like, sideway, maybe tangent, if you will.

George B. Thomas:

So it's something to think about.

Liz Moorehead:

You bring up something really important there. Right? Because if you decide to shift your priorities, but then you don't also adjust your expectations accordingly as a second step, then you're gonna have a problem. And I don't care whether you call them priorities or resolutions, or expectations or actions, whatever you wanna call it. At some point, you are saying, I want to make a change.

Liz Moorehead:

A change that may or may not have a particular outcome attached to it. Because for example, with meditation, I don't have a particular outcome attached to it, but I know I will reap the benefits of that particular practice if I stick with it. Right? The reality is though is that if you don't sit down and say, okay. So what expectations of myself need to shift?

Liz Moorehead:

Like, what are things that are now acceptable versus unacceptable? You know, this is where I would encourage people to go back and listen to our episode about expectations, because it wasn't just about setting expectations for ourselves. There was a keyword in there that was healthy expectations. Understanding what are healthy expectations versus unhealthy expectations, because, you know, it is a great opportunity to, you know, say, hey, let's check-in with my priorities. Let's check-in with where I wanna go, where I've been, all that fun stuff.

Liz Moorehead:

But if you decide you wanna make alterations from goal perspective, from a priority perspective, and then you don't update the expectations you hold yourself to on a daily basis, that is going to be a wish, my friends. So George, this is our last episode before we're in the holidays. As we record this, we are 3 days from Christmas morning, which oh my god. Which means we're all I know. We're a little over a week from New Year's.

Liz Moorehead:

Right? What's what thought do you wanna leave our listeners with?

George B. Thomas:

I love that you always ask me these, like, questions to, like, x us us out of the episode. I'm not gonna let that happen this time. I mean, I am gonna exit us out of the episode. But, Liz, what do you wanna share with the listeners?

Liz Moorehead:

I'm asking my inner cupcake one second. It doesn't matter how lonely you feel, how lost you feel, how off center you feel. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. You are right on time. Let the season be whatever it is supposed to be right now.

Liz Moorehead:

You have no idea what memories you're creating. You have no idea what you're gonna be looking back and thinking at this period in your life, but I guarantee you there's going to be a baby part of you that goes, man, if only I had been able to tell her to just pause in this moment and recognize, who knows, a memory you're creating, your deep reservoir of strength that you didn't realize that you had, the people around you who you are currently taking for granted. Because I guarantee you, when we are feeling down on ourselves, one of our favorite things to do is to seek out evidence that we are alone. Maybe there are people around you right now who you didn't expect to be there. Maybe there are people who aren't around you right now who broke your heart because they aren't.

Liz Moorehead:

But you're here, and George and I have got your back, and we believe in you. And if you were to tell us the story of this year and how you got to the point of where you are right now, I guarantee you both George and I would be like, dang. Aren't you a badass?

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. I'm so glad I asked that question. And and here's the thing. I realized for some people, you're gonna be listening to this, and it's gonna be March 14th. And my hopes is that you would listen to this episode and use it for future holiday seasons.

George B. Thomas:

Here's what I would say. And by the way, if you're listening to this and it's past 2024, just change 2024 to whatever year it is because my message will stay the same. My hopes, my prayers for you as a listener is that you will make 2024 the year that you love yourself. That you'll make it the year that you get to know yourself. That you will use it as the year that you forgive yourself.

George B. Thomas:

I hope that it's the year that you move yourself from where you've been stuck. At least onto the road you need to travel to live a life beyond the default. I too want you to know that we love you. We believe in you. And like Liz said, we're here in your corner, cheering you on the entire way.

George B. Thomas:

We know it, by the way. We know it. We just need you to know it, and it's the simple thing. You got this.