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Shiurim by Rav Davidson in KBY.
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So חובות הלבבות,
we were in שער הביטחון in פרק ד.
We spoke about the mistake people make in how to relate to their פרנסה.
ישנם גם אנשים שכל השתדלותם.
Could we put the AC on?
Thanks.
Now we finished that.
ומכיוון שרודפי כבוד,
so yesterday we spoke about the idea that people who are looking for כבוד,
they're looking for כבוד and they see getting money as a way of having
כבוד and
we spoke about that mistake,
that real כבוד is going to come from a person who's in line with
הקדוש ברוך הוא's will.
That's why we finished off with כי מכבדי אכבד,
that people respect you when you have values,
people respect you when you are living up to הקדוש ברוך הוא's will and
they see that you're in line with הקדוש ברוך הוא no matter what.
If you're rich and people are respecting you only because they're trying to take
away part of your wealth,
that's not real respect and you know that.
You know that you respect people more who are ערלעכע people and not people
who are wealthy.
ומכיוון שרודפי כבוד אלו עושים שטות אחת,
וזה שמשתמשים באמצעים בלתי נכונים כדי להגיע לכבוד.
He's saying I'm not saying that looking for כבוד is a bad thing.
I'm just saying you have to look for the right כבוד.
And looking for כבוד in wealth,
that's not the right place to find it.
לכן מביא אותם הבורא לידי שטות נוספת.
One foolishness leads to another foolishness.
שהם משתמשים גם באמצעים בלתי נכונים להגיע לעושר.
Once they're doing things in a non-ישר way,
then they're trying to get to honor which is an unhealthy pursuit and therefore
the way they get to money is also done in an unhealthy way and
they put all their life and all their efforts doing it in a non-honorable
way and they put aside all their obligations towards הקדוש ברוך הוא,
they often put aside the obligations towards השם.
Just imagine if you've had someone who is trying to make a פרנסה in
a healthy way,
working hard,
putting away savings,
investing his savings,
drawing them on the right time,
not spending unnecessarily.
So that's someone who you have כבוד for.
It's like wow,
there's a person who's taking responsibility for himself,
he's doing things.
Let's say you have someone else who earns a bit of money and then
he says,
"I want to make it big rich quickly,
I don't want to have to put in so much time," so he goes
to find all these like dodgy,
not ישר ways of investing and all sorts of things which aren't exactly correct
and putting down a bit of money and you're going to get back a
lot and he's doing things in a non-ישר way because he wants to get
rich quick.
And it's not so ישר ובסדר,
it's worth the outcome and best case scenario is he loses all the money
because it's not good from the financial point of view,
but at least it'll put him in his place.
Worst case scenario is the plan will work and then suddenly he'll be fabulously
rich and arrogant.
Because he hasn't worked hard for his wealth.
People who don't work hard for their wealth,
it doesn't train them to have responsibility,
to think clearly.
להודות לו עבור הטובות.
They don't thank הקדוש ברוך הוא for all the good that הקדוש ברוך הוא
has done for them.
בלא ספק היו משיגים יותר קל ויותר מהר את העושר והכבוד שהם שואפים עליו.
So if you have two ways of investing,
one way is by just working hard,
putting the money away,
putting it in savings,
and another way is all these tricks that people do,
even if the trick works,
no guarantee that that trick would have earned them more money than if they
would have done it in the healthy stable investing way and the danger was
much greater and the time consuming and the mind that it took their mind
away was unhealthy for them.
אורך ימים בימינה,
ובשמאלה עושר וכבוד.
ועוד נאמר,
עושר וכבוד מלפניך.
If you're going in the ways of הקדוש ברוך הוא in a ישר way,
then הקדוש ברוך הוא will accompany you with עושר and כבוד.
But if you're doing it in an unhealthy way,
it's likely that it will come back to harm you.
לפעמים אפשר למצוא בין רודפי ממון.
We're talking about people now who are chasing after money.
There are some people that they get their money אל קצה תאוותם.
And they work hard and they get all the money they need and they
have everything they need.
וישנם כאלה שהגיע ממונם על ידי ירושה.
That some people get it not through hard work,
they inherit it.
והם חושבים כאמצעים הם שגרמו להם להשיג את ממונם.
So either way,
whether they inherit it or whether they work hard for it,
they say,
"It's my money." ולולא האמצעים לא היה הממון מגיע להם.
And they say,
"It's only because so-and-so died,
that's why I got my money.
Auntie Fanny died,
ברוך השם,
now I'm wealthy." That's what they say.
Or they say,
"I worked hard,
look at me,
I am the one who earned this money,
I deserved it." Either way they do it,
they see that there was a cause and effect and that's why they're rich.
And they constantly praise the death of Auntie Fanny,
or they praise their hard work they put in,
and they ignore הקדוש ברוך הוא and leave Him out of the picture.
You know that famous רש"י where he says that the child is on the
shoulders of his father,
and he says,
"Did you see my father?
Did you see my father?" And the father says,
"I'm the one who's carrying you the whole time.
What do you mean where's my father?" So too is the person who he
works or he inherits,
and then he says,
"Where's השם?
Where's השם?" And השם says,
"I'm the one who helped you.
I'm the one who brought you all the way.
You're not acknowledging that it's me?
You're not acknowledging that it's me?
Okay,
let me show you what..." Let me show you what it's like not to
have השגחה.
Let me show you what it's like if I'm not protecting you and thinking
about you constantly.
And just for a few seconds הקדוש ברוך הוא removes His השגחה and he's
being bitten by the wolves.
כמה הם דומים בזה לאדם שהלך במדבר.
Let's give another משל for this.
Someone was traveling in the desert and he was very,
very thirsty and he found a pit which had water in it,
but the water wasn't sweet.
But he was still rejoicing that he found water and he drinks and drinks
and drinks this water which isn't sweet,
but okay,
it's saving his life.
And then he walks a little bit and he finds another spring,
this time with sweet water.
And he's so upset,
"Oh,
I wish I would have found this one first.
Now I'm so satiated from the bitter water.
I wish I would have not seen that bitter water first and seen this
one first,
then I could have satiated." It happened this week on שבת that someone brought
juice to the table and my son had just filled his cup with a
full cup of water.
He's like,
"Oh my gosh,
what do I do now?
Why did I just fill my cup with water?
Now I have to finish the water." So he,
without noticing,
he poured his water into other people's cups around the table and then he
said,
"Oh,
my cup's empty!" and then he went to get the juice.
But he was upset that he'd already filled his cup with this water because
he could have got better water.
ממש this exact thing happened this שבת at my family table.
וכן גם אותם אנשים עצמם לממון.
So you have people who they're thirsty for money,
not because they need money necessarily,
just because they're thirsty for money.
המשתמשים באמצעי ראשון שבא לידם.
They just take whatever comes their way,
the first,
the first whatever trick,
whatever it is,
the first אמצעי,
whatever it is.
And then he ends up having to work very,
very hard,
it's not the best way.
You know there's a book,
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,
so he has this concept they call sharpening the saw,
which is that some people are so gung-ho on working hard,
but they don't think about "Am I working towards the right thing?" that they
end up putting a lot of effort,
working very,
very hard for the wrong thing.
When if they would just pause and reflect what the right path is,
then they would identify they could work less hard and be more effective.
And the משל that he gives is if there's someone who's trying to saw
down a tree with a saw and he's working and sweating and going and
going and it's like not working,
not working.
So a פיקח comes along and sees him and says,
"What are you doing?" He says,
"I'm sawing down this tree." So he says,
"Can I see your saw?" "No,
I don't have time." He says,
"No,
look,
I see all the blades are blunt." So he says,
"Don't talk to me about blunt,
I'm sawing down the tree." He says,
"No,
I'm telling you stop for a minute,
stop for a minute and sharpen the saw,
and then it'll happen like..." "You want me to stop?
You know how hard I'm working?
If I stop it'll take even longer." He says,
"No,
no,
no,
listen to me.
Stop for a minute,
you can do it in a wiser way.
You can..." and the guy doesn't listen to him.
"No,
I'm going,
I'm going,
I'm going,
I'm going." He's not willing to stop.
There are some people who they're not aware of השם.
They're not aware of בטחון בהשם.
They get caught up in the type of work without בטחון בהקדוש ברוך הוא
and they're working,
working,
working,
working,
working,
working.
If they would pause and reflect and they would identify "What's my purpose in
life?" It would include דאווענינג to הקדוש ברוך הוא for help.
They would identify after having דאווענט to הקדוש ברוך הוא for help,
what the right balance of work,
השתדלות and בטחון is.
And it could be that they would work less or maybe work the same
but work more effectively because they're doing it in the context of עבודת השם,
together with דאווענינג,
together with fulfilling their other obligations.
והקדוש ברוך הוא would say to them,
"Okay,
you're working wiser.
You're דאווענינג properly,
you're learning,
you have time for your family and you're working hard,
but you've now that you've דאווענט sharpened your saw.
So you're working in a more effective way." כי אין להשם מעצור להושיע ברב
או במעט.
It's not necessarily true that your working hard is what's going to bring the
ישועה.
Turning to הקדוש ברוך הוא is more likely to bring the ישועה.
So if you're working,
working,
working,
working,
working because money is your only goal,
then you might get the money,
you might not.
But if you stop and pause and דאווען to הקדוש ברוך הוא,
you're more likely to be successful.
There was a businessman slash תלמיד חכם in the last generation called Rabbi Israel
Taub.
And he once said that he does his best business during דאווענינג and his
best דאווענינג during business.
And he explained.
He said that when he's דאווענינג in the morning,
then he turns to הקדוש ברוך הוא and he says,
"השם,
if it's not for You,
I'm not going to be successful today in business.
So please הקדוש ברוך הוא,
help this business deal work today." And in his דאווענינג he דאווענס for his
business to be successful.
And that's where he's doing his best business.
That's what makes him succeed.
So he's doing his best business in דאווענינג.
And when he gets to his business,
he wants to be successful,
he turns to הקדוש ברוך הוא,
"השם,
I need your help,
השם,
I need your help,
השם,
I need your help." And he finds that because something is,
money is on the line,
then he turns to הקדוש ברוך הוא and he's able to דאווען with a
full heart.
He says,
"I know my business succeeds best when..." That's one story.
Best business when you're דאווענינג,
best דאווענינג during business because he saw that a crucial factor of being successful
in your business is turning to הקדוש ברוך הוא.
So don't work more,
don't work harder,
work wisely,
include הקדוש ברוך הוא to דאווען to הקדוש ברוך הוא for success.
That's one story.
Another story...
My wife's friend's husband,
he works in ירושלים,
he's a lawyer.
And I don't know exactly where he works,
I think he works in town.
And and like in town meaning like in יפו,
King George,
that area.
And when he's at the like at the critical point of a particular deal
going through,
so he says,
we have to pause.
And then he takes the light rail down and he walks down to the
כותל and he דאווענס to הקדוש ברוך הוא that he should be successful and
he should do it in an ישר way.
And then he comes back and it says okay I'm ready to continue.
That's his like his מנהג,
his קבוע מנהג.
That and he's doing well financially.
He's doing very well financially.
So I don't know if it's because of that or because of something else,
but he attributes it to that.
That's what he says.
He attributes success to the fact that whenever he's about to go through with
a big deal,
he always pauses,
goes to הקדוש ברוך הוא,
goes down to the כותל and דאווענס,
asks הקדוש ברוך הוא for סיעתא דשמיא,
that he's doing it in an ישר way,
and then he comes back.
So he's included הקדוש ברוך הוא as part of the deal.
He's a partner with him.
He's a partner with him and הקדוש ברוך הוא is his partner in the
business.
If you've got הקדוש ברוך הוא as a partner,
you're going to do well,
you're going to be successful.
ומה נכון עוד מצד מי שבוטח על השם בפרנסתו שכאשר קורה שפרנסתו מתמהמהת לבוא
מתמהמה,
delay's coming,
שיחשוב אז בלבו.
See,
you're putting in your efforts,
but it's not coming through.
So what do you say then?
What do you say to השם?
השם הביא אותי לעולם הזה.
השם's the one who put me in this world to begin with.
At this particular era,
at this particular time.
ולא הביא אותי לעולם לא לפני ולא אחרי תקופה ושעה זו.
השם didn't bring me in an earlier time and didn't bring me a later
time.
This is the exact time where השם put me in the world.
הוא מונע ממני את פרנסתי בעולם הזה בזמן מסוים.
So if I'm not having פרנסה now,
that's because everything has an exact fixed time and this is the exact time
where השם wants me to be.
And if he wants me to have פרנסה,
it will come at the right time.
מפני שהוא יתברך יודע את כל מה שטוב עבורי.
השם knows exactly what I need.
When a person's so in tune with השם,
then his mindset is so clear,
it's so פשוט.
I'm putting in my efforts and השם knows exactly what's right for me.
He didn't make me earlier,
he didn't make me later,
he put me exactly here in this time.
My פרנסה also is not coming early,
it's not coming late,
it's coming at exactly the right time.
השם has a plan of exactly where everything needs to be.
I'm sure I've told you but I've told you the story about the wedding
which where the where the חתן was frustrated about his mother going to check
the fish.
Yeah,
exactly the right time it needs to be.
וכן כאשר פרנסתו באה אליו בצמצום.
And so too when he has פרנסה but it's not enough.
לא יותר במאומה מכדי מזונו.
He has enough to eat but not more.
He wants to expand,
he wants to renovate his house,
he wants to live comfortably,
doesn't have enough of that.
ראוי...
so what does he think then?
What's an אמונה-filled mindset?
כשם שהשם הכין לי את מזוני בשדי אמי מיד עם לידתי כפי צרכי ודי
מחייתי יום יום.
In the same way as when I was a baby and I drank milk
from my mother and השם provided for me exactly the right food in the
right...
you know what happened?
It was a tragedy,
a tragedy happened a couple of years ago.
There was a particular baby food developer that they missed one ingredient.
One vitamin that needed to go in.
They didn't...
they missed it.
And suddenly no one knew what was going on,
but a baby died here and a baby died there and other babies were
coming into hospital.
And they didn't know what it was about and it was all different places
that was happening and they didn't understand what was going on.
And they traced it that the common denominator of all these babies who were
coming was that they were being solely fed this food.
They weren't eating anything else in their diet,
they weren't breastfeeding as well and they weren't eating other foods,
but their sole diet was this particular...
so they quickly put out an emergency announcement and somebody even said you can
put out the announcement even on שבת.
I don't know who's going to look at it,
but they said it's פיקוח נפש,
you can go and...
and if I heard correctly,
I heard that there were people going through like shouting out on megaphones or
a car,
like you know the cars they have in the חרדי neighborhoods where they make
announcements of who died,
so they went through with one of these cars going through the חרדי neighborhoods
on שבת announcing to everyone:
If you're feeding...
don't use that food,
if you're using that food,
stop using it and take a different food to use because of the פיקוח
נפש of these children.
But a mother's milk has exactly what the child needs.
Exactly every nutrition,
it's not missing a thing.
It's Godly designed baby food with everything in.
The slogan of the מעון,
of the childcare here,
is כמו בשדי אמי.
Like in your mother's hands,
but it's not your mother's hands.
They're doing the best they can to be a חיקוי,
to be a what's a חיקוי anyway?
A copy.
Imitation.
Imitation.
It's an imitation of the mother,
but it's not the mother.
הקדוש ברוך הוא designed the mother with exactly the food that the baby needs,
and it doesn't come a day earlier.
There's no milk a day before the child's born.
It's a נס נגלה that the day the baby is born,
the milk starts coming.
It's the hormones that cause but it's חז״ל say the blood turns into milk.
But it means that the blood that was causing her to have a period,
that is now channeled כביכול that her body now channels it towards milk.
It's a נס נגלה.
The mother didn't have milk a day earlier,
the baby didn't have the need to eat a day earlier.
The baby's born,
the mother has milk.
פלא פלאים,
פלא עצום exactly what the baby needs,
not missing one nutrition.
So that's an אמונה perspective,
that in the same way as הקדוש ברוך הוא gave me the food that
I need from my mother the day I was born,
as soon as I came into the world,
exactly what I needed to eat.
And the milk continued until I was able to eat other solid foods.
It was the best food for me,
it didn't harm me,
it was exactly what I needed,
the right amount.
So too,
גם כן לא יזיק לי מאומה מה שפרנסתי נוכחית.
הקדוש ברוך הוא is providing for me now exactly what I need.
This is what I need.
השם knows how to provide.
I was once in a very interesting talk.
There's a rabbi in ירושלים,
his name is רב מנחם בורשטיין.
He founded מכון פועה,
which is פוריות ו something else הלכתי,
oh,
על פי ההלכה.
Ah,
פוריות ורפואה על פי ההלכה.
פ,
ו,
ע,
ה,
פועה,
פוריות ורפואה על פי ההלכה,
פ,
ו,
ע,
ה,
פוריות ורפואה על פי ההלכה.
How do you say פוריות in English?
Fertility treatment.
Fertility treatment and medicine על פי ההלכה.
That's the organization that he founded and he does amazing,
amazing,
amazing work.
So he once was talking about birth control.
And he was saying הלכתית are you allowed to take birth control,
you're not allowed to take birth control?
So it depends on why the couple are taking birth control.
If they're taking birth control because the woman's body needs time to recover after
a birth,
then it's allowed.
But if they're taking birth control for financial reasons,
I know there's a whole area in between those two,
but I'm talking about these two,
he said then it's not allowed.
It's prohibited to take birth control for financial reasons.
So then he said,
but what if they come to you and they make a claim,
and they say to you,
but how are we going to afford the children?
If we have so many children,
how are we going to afford it?
So then he said,
you ask them do they believe in חז״ל?
And if they're a couple who believe in חז״ל,
they say yes.
And you say that חז״ל say כשתינוק נולד הוא נולד בפתּו בידו.
When a child comes into the world,
he brings his bread with him,
which you see clearly from the mother's milk.
When the child comes into the world,
the milk comes.
And it doesn't only mean that the child comes and the milk comes,
because then they would have given an example of the milk with the child,
but they give פתּו בידו,
he explains,
to say that the child's פרנסה comes with him.
Of course the parent has to take financial responsibility.
They can't say,
oh,
חז״ל say you have your bread,
good luck.
Six years old,
fend for yourself.
You can't do that.
You have to be responsible for your kids.
But it means that if הקדוש ברוך הוא gave you the child and you're
being financially responsible,
then he'll give you the wherewithal to take care of that child as well.
So financial reasons are not a reason to take birth control.
From an אמונה perspective,
we believe that if הקדוש ברוך הוא gives you a child,
he will also give you the פרנסה that you need for that child.
Birth control is הפלה?
No.
הפלה is to kill the child.
That's definitely forbidden according to הלכה.
Birth control is taking medication beforehand that the woman won't become pregnant.
And that's prohibited according to הלכה unless there are specific circumstances.
And money is not one of them.
הפלה is definitely not allowed.
Sometimes הפלה is allowed if it's a case of רודף,
where the woman won't be able to give birth to all the children that
are in her and then you may put one down to save the other
two.
It's a very,
very scary,
scary place to be.
I know a woman who had triplets and she was advised to do הפלה
on one of them to save the other two.
And she took a lot of medical advice and there were opinions that said
you don't need to.
And she didn't need to,
and ברוך השם,
she's got three children.
Could you imagine?
Could you imagine if she would put one down?
If she would put one down,
it wouldn't have been against הלכה because she got medical opinion,
it would have been על פי דעת תורה,
it wouldn't have been a loss of a life.
הכי קרא לגופה,
שהוא מזמין לי.
עכשיו,
that which הקדוש ברוך הוא gives me right now is exactly what I need.
And even if it's only בצמצום,
זה צרכי,
but it's זה צרכי!
גם אם הדבר ימשיך כך עד סוף ימי.
Hashem,
I trust You.
You provided for me when I was a baby and I fed.
You're providing for me now.
Even if I'm going to live my whole life poorly,
and only with the minimum,
I accept Your will,
Hashem.
And when a person has that type of a test and he trusts in
הקדוש ברוך הוא that הקדוש ברוך הוא is going to give him his פרנסה,
that speeds the פרנסה coming.
No guarantee it will come;
it could be your whole life פרנסה will never come.
But it speeds it coming because it's not getting in your way of בטחון.
If a person's פרנסה is getting in the way of his having בטחון on
הקדוש ברוך הוא,
then הקדוש ברוך הוא doesn't have the need to give it.
But if a person has בטחון on הקדוש ברוך הוא,
so that פרנסה is not getting in his way,
then הקדוש ברוך הוא says,
"Okay,
nothing's holding Me back now.
I can provide for you." ומה נפשך,
either your בטחון will make the פרנסה come quicker,
or it won't,
and then it's an increased opportunity,
or a continuous opportunity,
to show your faith in הקדוש ברוך הוא and to have trust in Him.
As it says in the פסוק,
ויצא העם ולקטו דבר יום ביומו.
Why did Hashem not give us enough sustenance to last throughout forty years?
Why did He give it to us on a daily basis,
that every single day we went to bed at night not knowing if we
were going to have food in the morning,
not knowing if we'd eat tomorrow,
are we going to starve tomorrow?
In order that we would have a daily lesson in אמונה in Hashem,
that Hashem is providing for me on a constant basis.
And Hashem said it מפורש,
למען אנסנו.
The reason why I gave the מן on a daily basis and didn't give
them more was to test them.
Are they going to have faith and acknowledge that it's הקדוש ברוך הוא providing
for me day in and day out?
הילך בתורתי?
Are they going to follow my Torah,
or are they going to rebel?
We can't have it like this!
We need other types of food.
We can't trust in Hashem.
Part of the test of the מן was an אמונה test,
not only financially,
but an אמונה test spiritually.
Are you able to hand yourself over to Hashem?
Are you able to admit that it's Hashem providing for you,
or are you going to say,
no,
I want to be independent?
That whole statement of the Jews who said we want to go back to
eat the בצל and to eat the food that we had in מצרים,
it was worse food.
They weren't asking for better food;
the מן was better than the food that they had in מצרים.
But it was independent food.
They didn't have to trust in Hashem for it.
They could go it alone.
And that's a spiritual test.
That's a test of whether you are able to hand the reins over to
הקדוש ברוך הוא and say,
Hashem,
I trust in You that You're providing for me.
That's a big test.
Not physically,
but spiritually.
Final פסוק,
הלוך וקראת באזני ירושלים לאמר כה אמר ה' זכרתי לך חסד נעוריך אהבת כלולותיך.
What was the big חסד?
What was the big אהבה that הקדוש ברוך הוא remembered us with?
לכתך אחרי במדבר בארץ לא זרועה.
That you placed your faith in Me financially.
That you didn't have any source of פרנסה in the desert but you said,
הקדוש ברוך הוא,
I walk after You blindly,
like a כלה who's about to go into the חופה and her eyes are
covered as if to say,
I follow my husband and I have faith in him that he'll provide for
me.
The Jewish nation,
they were like a כלה who went into the desert and we said,
I have faith in You,
הקדוש ברוך הוא.
You're going to provide for me.
And הקדוש ברוך הוא remembered that fondly,
and He said,
I will provide for you because you trust in Me.
Because you trust in Me,
then I know that you believe in Me.
I have to prove to you that I'm trustworthy.
And הקדוש ברוך הוא provided for us.
And those are mindsets that a person can adopt,
and He's spelled it out for us that a person can have when times
are good,
when times are hard;
it doesn't make a difference.
Either way,
it's an opportunity to come closer to Hashem.
יישר כח!