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Kamini Wood works with high achievers on letting go of stress, overwhelm and anxiety that comes with trying to do everything, and trying to do it all perfectly
Hi bar, and welcome to our episode of Rise Up Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening. Thank you for taking some time to spend here with me. And today I wanna talk about. Something that happens to me a lot, which is overthinking and how we can actually break the cycle of overthinking.
So curious, uh, have you ever found yourself sort of trapped in that cycle of endless analysis or going over the same thoughts repeatedly? It goes over and over and over again and you don't seem to have clarity or [00:01:00] resolution, or maybe your overthinking includes second guessing your decision. So you replay conversations or you become overwhelmed by all the hypothetical scenarios.
So I just wanna say if that's you, you're not alone. I absolutely am there with you. And psychological research actually shows that chronic overthinking effects. A lot of people, it's actually really very common in high achievers, and also those of us who really, we really do care about the outcomes. So I wanna just talk about the science behind the overthinking, but then also, uh, how do we maybe even start to break free or start to undo that pattern of overthinking?
So let's first understand, uh, overthinking from that psychological standpoint. So overthinking. Um, often you'll hear people call it rumination. But it's really that repetitive thinking about either past events or future possibilities or hypothetical scenarios without really reaching, uh, actionable solutions.
Um, researchers [00:02:00] have have defined it as a tendency to repetitively dwell on problems or negative emotions or exacerbating, and then it exacerbates stress and anxiety and research in co uh, cognitive psychology shows that the overthinking is strongly associated with increased. Uh, stress, anxiety, depression, decision paralysis perhaps, and rumination significantly prolongs and intensifies negative emotions because what happens is it traps people in that re repetitive thought loops rather than allowing them to, uh, take an action and problem solve.
And so from a neuroscience perspective, that overthinking activates specific neuro circuits that reinforce anxiety, um, even in brain image. Imaging Stu studies, uh, from biological psychiatry. There was an, a shown increase in activation in parts of the prefrontal cortex, uh, the parts that are associated with self-reflection, um, as well as the amygdala, which is that that place in our brain for that indicates fear.
And so [00:03:00] during those periods of rumination, so through that elevated neural activity. Uh, it actually heightens the emotional reactivity and the stress responses, and so it makes it even more difficult to break that cycle. And then, um, in addition, cognitive behavioral therapy research have also highlighted the cognitive distortions that happen with that overthinking.
So negative and exaggerated thought patterns as an example of the. The drivers of the overthinking or catastrophizing, right? So it's it, the catastrophizing says that if something goes wrong, then the whole thing is gonna be a disaster or even perfectionism. Uh, I have to make the perfect decision, or this whole thing is gonna fail, as an example, um, of some distortions that happen.
Uh, additionally, uh, Barry Schwartz, who wrote The Paradox of Choice. Revealed in, in that book that, uh, overthinking actually increases significantly when we perceive that there's this abundance of options or [00:04:00] when we face uncertainty. So you found that, um, the, the excess options or uncertain outcomes or what amplified anxiety, uh, if you think about it, um.
Like for instance, uh, if a child has too many options for outfits, they actually tend to become very anxious and can't figure out which one to, um, to choose. That's an example of having too many options. So when we come overly fixated on finding the perfect outcome, so the, the example of the little child, like the perfect outfit, what happens is the brain gets stuck in this state of continuous deliberation and then anxiety.
Rises. So, um, what this shows is that overthinking is not a productive strategy. It's actually more, um, it, it's almost a, a, um, a way to keep us safe or a perceived perception of keeping us safe. So I wanna talk about then. If you find yourself in these overthinking loops, like how do we potentially even break that [00:05:00] cycle?
Because, you know, if we could just say, I'm gonna stop, we would've stopped already. The very first thing that I would offer is, um, thought challenging, right? Actually. Challenging certain thoughts. It, it's a form of reframing, but when you notice yourself ruminating, pause and clearly identify what is the cognitive distortion that's happening here.
So, for instance, if you catch yourself catastrophizing, if I felt this presentation, my entire career is gonna be over. You know, really challenging that with what's what's actually true here. And the truth is, even if this doesn't go perfectly well. I will deal with whatever that outcome is. Uh, that would be an example of recognizing the catastrophizing thought pattern, interrupting it with what's actually true and reframing it.
Another way that we can break down the, um, overthinking mind is to practice mindfulness. And again, what mindfulness does is it brings us to the present moment. So if we're noticing rumination, it [00:06:00] is about, um. Finding ways to come back to this moment here, and so regularly practicing brief, brief mindfulness meditations, or, you know, just noticing your thoughts without judgment can help your brain detach from the repetitive thinking pattern.
So, for instance, if you notice yourself overthinking or over ruminating, taking a deep breath, you know, feeling your feet on the floor, coming back to the present moment, whether you use, um. Uh, breath techniques, right? So just paying attention to your in breath and your outbreath or you. Tap into what your five senses are, um, experiencing in that moment.
What that does is it actually interrupts the rumination. It come and you bring, come back to the present moment, and then you're able to, you know, decide on what, what's the action I'm gonna take right now? Uh, and then that, which leads me into that taking action part. So, behavioral psychology does emphasize that intentional action does interrupt the overthinking loops.
For instance, finding one immediate, [00:07:00] immediate manageable action that you can take to resolve whatever it is that you're thinking about. So if you're overthinking about something and it's this big, it's finding one small piece or one action that you can take that even if it's very small, you're able to follow that through.
So if you're overthinking about a project, for instance, like this whole project, you commit to that one first step. Maybe it's, um, scheduling a planning session with somebody you know, rather than. Overthinking about how the whole project is gonna go. You actually just say, okay, I'm gonna. Plan this one meeting with, with this one person.
And even taking that one step is gonna decrease the anxiety that you're having. And it also interrupts the rumination that's happening. And then Penn State researchers also, um, did some research on setting aside designated worry time, um, which is about, you know, setting aside maybe 15 minutes of. You know, okay, I'm, I'm catching myself overthinking.
I'm gonna put it in my worry time. And when I get to that time of the day, I'm gonna spend 15 minutes at that point in [00:08:00] time to pay attention to those thoughts, write them down, and reflect on all of those worries. And then at the end of that 15 minutes say, what is the in intentional step? I'm gonna move forward.
I like to call up the parking lot. My clients who've worked with me know that I talk about this routinely. You know, we set up a parking lot, we go ahead and park the, the worries or the rumination thoughts in there and we say, you know what, I'm gonna, I'm gonna come back to the parking lot later today. Um, but it's just to remember that breaking the cycle of, of overthinking or rumination, does it mean that you.
You don't care, right? Or that, um, you don't think about things deeply. So I don't want to create another, you know, a false belief that, you know, I'm gonna stop overthinking. And when I stop overthinking, then it means I suddenly don't care about anything. That's not it at all. Instead, it's, it's intentionally shifting from this repetitive anxiety driven analysis into actually productive thinking and dec decisive action that you can take, um, as well as being mindfully present in your moment [00:09:00] and, and.
Research does confirm that overthinking about something does not actually provide clarity. It actually erodes our confidence to make a decision. Because what happens is we overthink, we're actually increasing potentially that self-doubt or, uh, the questions of how is this actually going to turn out? So.
Just remember that, you know, while overthinking may feel like it's keeping you safe, it's actually creating, you know, more worry and more anxiety. And if you'd like to talk about how coaching can help you, especially if you find yourself, you know, in this, in this trap of overthinking and you're just like, you know what, I'm ready to shift it.
And you wanna. Understand how coaching can help you potentially do that. Feel free to book a time with me anytime@coachwithKamini.com and until next time, stay well.