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Created by Roselis Cortez • Co-host: James Stanley
Seam Notes explores luxury as behavior
How you think, how you move, and the standards you hold when no one is watching.
This isn’t about status or appearance. It’s about composure, discernment, boundaries, and self-respect. The things that quietly shape how you live.
Through lived experience, we talk about growth, outgrowing environments, and learning to move differently without losing yourself in the process.
No performance. No exaggeration. Just real conversations about what it takes to hold your own.
New episodes every Wednesday.
Roselis (00:00)
When your mind says yes, but your body says no.
James (00:08)
Ha ha ha! Welcome to my life!
Roselis (00:14)
We like to think that we can push through anything, right? We like to think that we can push through anything until your body goes Hmmmmm! Exactly. Exactly. And it has a full other plan. .
James (00:33)
Totally. I think especially when you get and not to be ageism, but you know, when you get to be around our age, third act, you know, the body's really shifting, guys. Really. Male, female, doesn't matter. I mean, I come in and I'm complaining about hot flashes all the time. Right? in the knees and the hip and the back, and I'm in pretty good shape. And I eat healthy and I work out. And there was times in my life, especially when I was younger, where I worked out
Vanity, just pure vanity. You know. And now I try to listen. I really do because when my knees are not feeling great, like the other day I was in the gym and I felt my I felt my knees on the way to the gym and I'm like, this is not good. Daddy I know better than Daddy pushing these knees. it's not gonna be good. So you
Roselis (01:18
You slowed it down a little bit.
James (01:19)
I didn't get on the leg press. I did a light workout, I listened to them you know, and I said, Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna kind of back off a little bit.
And you know, I have this inflammation thing that moves around my body, quick story, it's a medical thing and I and I've been to the best doctors and they really can't diagnose it. And all they say to me is it's somewhere on the spectrum of help me out. Autoimmune disease.
Roselis (01:44)
Autoimmune disease. Right.
James (01:45)
But they don't know and there's no confirmation. And what they tell me is, just get a cortisone shot in your knee or in your back or in your tailbone. And I'm like, No. So instead of doing that, I've kind of have given up on it for right now. but I'll just watch my body and listened to it at this stage, 'cause I need it, I work out now because
I wanna stay healthy, I wanna stay mobile, I wanna be able to still accomplish all the things that I wanna do and enjoy my life as much as I can. and stay in shape to do that. So eat healthy and stay in shape. But I'm not pushing my body to ridiculous bounds like I used to and not listening.
Roselis (02:26)
Right. And that, that is it, right? Because I can think of a myriad of stories here,
Listening to it is the key, right? Because I hear people that are always complaining, oh my God, this hurts and that hurts and the other thing hurts and they take a pill and this and that and then they they never go and look into why that's happening. Because I think that there's key to that. It's the body telling you something, yeah. Right? Of course. And again, you know, we go to the luxury that we like to talk
about here in Seam Notes and it's taking that pause to listen to the body, If it's telling you to slow down, then you slow down. And I'll go into some of my personal stories
For me in my experience, I was only thirty eight years old and then all of a sudden I went from the size I am right now to thirty five pounds larger in less than three months. I went from a size four six to a size ten, pushing it to a tight ten.
James (03:29)
Ha ha ha!
Roselis (03:32)
in less than three months, my two hundred and fifty percent sex drive went from there to a negative one hundred. And it was like I I I didn't know the person that I was in this body. Right? And I
didn't know what to do and I kept going to different doctors and trying to find out what was happening but everybody was telling me it was in my head that I was crazy, that there was nothing that I needed to slow down and not eat as much and exercise more and I always ate healthy, I always exercise the same way. And I would be on a treadmill crying because I couldn't lose a pound or two or whatever. I'm going kind of an advocacy here as well.
You know, and two years later because I did not stop asking questions and seeing doctors and wondering because at thirty eight you know your body. And when it changes that drastically in that short of a period of time
You have to ask yourself why. Took a long time, but yeah, it turned out to be another autoimmune thing, and then I spent twenty years dealing with it until, you know, got it under control through treatment, but point being that the body told me something at that time, And while I was going through all of this, there were periods of time that I needed to take three hour naps in the middle of the day.
James (04:57)
Yeah, you were complaining about it you were like oh my God I have to go to sleep now
Roselis (05:02)
And I would sleep for three hours. And then I'd get up and I'd work for like four hours and then it was eight thirty at night and I would be right back in bed and wake up at eight thirty the next morning and still be exhausted. But I had to allow myself to take care of self in that way and curtail my life around it. Was it challenging and difficult and all of that to accept it? And that was the hardest part.
Was the acceptance of what the body was telling me and what it was doing. we're also talking about, you know, you're working on something and you really want to get it done, but your brain really can't go there anymore. Or you're starting to get, the neck aches because you're
In this focus and you are tense because you are so damn tired that you need to really get some rest, but you want to push through that, right? How do we listen to that part of ourselves? not necessarily going in this drastic direction of the medical stuff that I've just mentioned, But in the everydayness of I'm tired. Take the rest.
You can work more effectively after you've rested.
James (06:21)
Listen, that is my life, right? no one pushes harder than me. Right?
Roselis (06:26)
Exactly. So when is pushing through discipline, and when is refusing to listen? where is that balance that brings the luxury of taking care of self?
James (06:39)
I'm starting to realize the luxury of taking care of self physically as far as not pushing myself to the extreme with work. I've always been a little bit of a workaholic, you know that. I will set from sunup to sundown and repeat seven days a week. And being an entrepreneur, self-employed, you know, I need to I felt
Still do in the sense that I know that it takes twenty-four-seven to get where I want to go. It just does. Right? but I can no longer, I'm at a certain age where I can no longer push myself from sunup to sundown seven days a week, Saturday, Sunday included. Right? Like I try to take my Sundays now and meditate work on my practice and do nothing else because my mind needs the relief. Right?
Roselis (07:30)
Because your period of meditation in the morning and in the evening can't be enough when you're going at a hundred and fifty all day long. Seven days a week.
James (07:39)
Correct. And you know what I say? How about this for I I'm gonna call myself out
Roselis (07:44)
Okay.
James (07:47)
I yawned about an hour ago. And you know, you know what I said to myself? Bro, what are you tired from? You've done nothing today. Right? You didn't lift up your building. You didn't lift up. You haven't worked 94 hours today. And what I don't give myself a break for sometimes is all the mental. Like when I walked in before we started taping, I was brrrrrr
Roselis (08:15)
And your phone was going beep, beep, beep.
James (08:17)
Yeah, And I don't really I don't take that as work or you know we may make little light of all the mental anguish and circle that the mind is doing constantly, even if it's not stressing. You are working mentally constantly and when you pile on family and career and stress and finances and whatever the brain's exhausted. And I will tell you
As you get older,
You know.
Roselis (08:49)
I relate a hundred percent because sometimes I'm like, my god, I'm so tired and my husband looks at me and he goes, Well, of course. You haven't stopped and I'm like, I haven't done anything today. I did it the exact same thing that you're talking about. I I relate to it and I'm sure that a lot of our audience can relate to that.
James (09:09)
But do catch it now, and when I sleep in, I've been sleeping in, so I usually am up at 5 and I'm in the gym at 5:30 a.m. five days a week. And then I sleep till seven on the weekends, and I think, whoa, now I'm really relaxing till seven. Okay? And I will not allow myself, and I said this correctly, I will not allow myself to sleep vacation, no vacation, sick, not sick, doesn't matter, right?
will not allow. Now what is that about? Right? Judging self. Saying, okay, you need to get up and go do. I'm like, now, only in the last month or two, I say you're gonna be so proud of me.
Roselis (09:45)
Okay, yeah, let me let me listen. Go. look at you.
James (09:48)
I say, maybe you can sleep until 7:45 and it's okay.
Roselis (09:52)
That's huge. That's huge for you
James (09:54)
And that's okay
And I have really felt that my body's drained lately for whatever reason. And I'm like, you know what? If I sleep till
Roselis (10:00)
It's summer, you've had a lot of changes in your life, things are different, you're a little older. I mean it could be any of those things.
James (10:10)
All of it, all of the above.
Yeah yeah, for sure. So, I am listening to the body more at this stage in my life than I have in my entire life. And it's even this morning I woke up and I'm like, you know what? I had a pretty decent sleep. And I don't really identify with sleeping that much. Sounds weird, but I don't. I need to. Because the body needs it. the brain has to shut down and the body has to shut down.
Roselis (10:34)
It's the repair time for the body, right? We don't give it enough attention that we really need that. I mean for me, I don't know why, and I do keep track of my sleep. I'm sleeping an hour less this year than I did all of last year and I notice the difference.
James (10:50)
Do you. Do you? wait a minute. You, you chart out
Roselis (10:53)
Yeah, I do.
James (10:53)
your sleep per year?
Roselis (10:56)
well, my thing keeps track of it and so last year I slept on average seven hours and thirty-five minutes and that was really pretty much what I did every single night. Okay. Right now I'm sleeping on average and this is average because some nights it's eight and then others it's five and it's really horrible for me. I'm at six and a half and that is just not enough for me.
James (11:18)
How are you calculating that? You keep your watch on at night?
Roselis (11:21)
Yeah. Yeah. 'Cause it keeps track and it shows me the patterns of when I sleep or not,
You know getting sleep is really important, right? And then because sometimes you're mentally ready and your body's not and of course we're talking about listening to the body, but I if you're not sleeping you're not getting your recuperative period, right? But let's also talk about, what is
pushing through, is not listening to these things considered strength, because I think that there's people that just go, you know, it builds character, it makes this happen, da-da-da-da-da-da-da. You know, and then I think No, there is no character building in something that's giving you a signal. I mean
Our bodies are an incredibly advanced
Computer system. You know.
James (12:20)
The OG computer system.
Roselis (12:21)
we think that our AI that we have right now that's just like magical and gives us answers and we can do so many things and become people's best friends, etc. etc. is incredible. This this thing
James (12:38)
Is the original.
Roselis (12:39)
That we carry within our skin is the top computer. And if that thing is sending a signal to your brain to pay attention to something, we should listen to it.
James (12:51)
Agreed, agreed, agreed. I and I and I'm not the guy that did that for years. I mean I guys I haven't slept in probably fifty years. And not I'm not exaggerating, slept like a normal person.
Roselis (13:03)
Insomnia is a real thing.
James (13:04)
I got used to not sleeping from a child to an adult and survived on three to four hours a night and went hard.
Every day and was totally a believer in because I grew up in a culture that you work twenty four hours a day and you just push through and forget the pain and forget the, you just push. and there is a part of me that still believes that you need to push and that's a bigger subject, but
As I get older I realize that vacations are important, mental vacations, very important, meditation, spiritual practice, giving the body rest, sleeping, eating the right foods, all of those things are crucial to my survival because when the body fails, I can't do the things I need to.
Roselis (13:51)
Then what do you do, right? I mean, so we can also talk about how this affects really aging and I mean in the long run. Right? It's like we can see where people did plow through things and people did do those things and then they get to an older age. They are now retired and they want to do things, but their body doesn't allow them to do things and they don't get
to enjoy that part of life.
James (14:25)
I just I just buried, not to get really but you know, I just had a funeral, I buried my aunt, second mother to me. The woman never traveled. I wanted to take her to Paris. She always wanted to see the city of lights. The time she was ready in her life, she was physically unable. I was heartbroken. Because she always wanted to do that. And then she gets ready to retire. I'm gonna retire next year, I'm gonna retire year. And in her mid-80s, the body just gave out. Couldn't go anymore. Right.
Roselis (14:51)
Right. And so, it's I think that it's something that we really should pay attention to. If the body's telling you something, then you should do something. I think that like one of the funny things that happened to me and I think that it's also and I I wonder where you'll go with this, because I see it as something, I don't know. So
James (15:13)
I hear something coming up. This may be interesting guys.
Roselis (15:17)
So it's been really funny because on top of the fact that I've had less sleep this year, in March I had an accident with my foot, right? Which really
made me stop. And so a whole lot of things that I had not paid attention to. Physical, my wrist and my elbow and my knee and the this that I could feel when I would be dancing, I could feel the knee in one direction. When I do dishes I could feel the wrist in another direction and things like that from overuse. And I was not paying attention. Right?
So I get this horrific sprained ankle, and it made me stop. We still did the whole season of Seam Notes, I still did a lot of work, but I had to literally physically stop, And I believe, and this is just me.
That sometimes there is a spiritual side that comes in and just kind of goes, if you don't slow down on this stuff or what you think you're doing or the direction that you think you're going, I'm gonna force you to do that.
James (16:37)
Yeah. There's definitely truth.
Roselis (16:38)
And then all of a sudden it was like, okay, this happened. I mean I wasn't gonna fight it. I didn't fight it. I was not, there was never a poor me, why me, why none of that, because I don't believe in that, right? But there was this facing of the actual situation and having to really slow down.
James (17:02)
You definitely went through the process better than I would have expected. Yeah, there were a few moments of frustration, I think. I remember one time coming into Hudson and you were climbing up the stairs and you were like, fuck. And then it's done. She lets it go, moves on. You know, I'm like, okay. Still looks great. Is there is there? I think there was a question in there, right? Is there a spiritual component?
Roselis (17:25)
Well, do you think from your philosophies, from what you've been taught in the spiritual realm, which is what you base a lot of your life on. I don't do this study, but, I think about these things.
James (17:40)
So from the Buddhist belief, karma dictates everything that happens to us. karma happens every moment of every day.
Everything we say, think, and do creates a karmic seed, gets planted, grows. So all of our experience, we have a great interaction or a bad interaction.
we learned something from it. And we move on.
So yes, to answer your question, it is a spiritual experience all based on karma and all based on cause and effect. Right? with that being said, yeah, for sure it was definitely a spiritual experience from the Buddhist perspective of karma.
Roselis (18:16)
Everything is cause and effect. everything in life is cause and effect.
James (18:18)
Everything
And whatever lesson is yours to learn, it is yours to learn. Whether you learn it through this break.
Roselis (18:26)
Or another.
James (18:26)
Or not, correct. And you keep repeating. Like we said, the pushing through.
Roselis (18:30)
Right, that's with everything in life. Right. But so we when we talk about the body it's still exactly the same. It's cause and effect. We we're talking about being in a body that tells you to do something, listening to that and taking the action that you need to take in order to do that, the repercussions that can come from not taking a look at it or being
attentive to this beautiful intricate computer system that's who you are.
James (19:05)
And beautifully beautiful internal, right? Like this magnificent structure.
Roselis (19:08)
Right, right, right, right. I'm not talking about external beauty
correct, correct. And really taking the time to take a look at it and accept it, because I think acceptance is another huge piece of your listening to your body.
James (19:25)
Well
that's a whole other avenue
Roselis (19:27)
so if we put all of these pieces together, right, and we see how the body's telling us something, the head is going, No, push through it, you are still young.
James (19:38)
This has gotta get gone.
Roselis (19:40)
got strength, you ba da do. It builds character. Not necessarily, Because
If you're getting a signal, there is a reason.
James (19:53)
Agreed
Roselis (19:54)
So we're really saying pay attention, the luxury of
James (20:01)
Is listening.
Roselis (20:02)
really listening to that part within which is talking to you through aches.
James (20:12)
And pains and, exactly things that come up.
Roselis (20:14)
Signals that are saying loudly, listen to me, right?
James (20:21)
Agreed. Agreed, agreed.
Roselis (20:22)
And then having the grace to pay attention or to, to really do something.
James (20:29)
Really having the wisdom to say, okay, yeah.
Roselis (20:31)
yeah.
This week, notice the thing that the body's been telling you and you've been negotiating with.
Thank you for being with us. We'll see you again next week.