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Welcome to Tabletop Travel Agency, an actual-play podcast from Rainbow Die Studios, where every mini series is a new destination in the world of tabletop roleplaying games.
From heroic fantasy and chaotic comedy to mystery, horror, sci-fi, and heartfelt character drama, each adventure features a different game system, a fresh cast of characters, and a new story waiting to unfold. Whether you’re a longtime TTRPG fan or just booking your first trip into the hobby, we’re here to help you chart your course to adventure.
Pack your dice, grab your character sheet, and join us at the table.
Fabula Ultima TTRPG Campaign Episode Three - Tabletop Travel Agency
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[00:00:00] [00:01:00] [00:02:00] [00:03:00] Hey, welcome back. Uh, sorry for the late start. We had a few technical difficulties, but we are ready to go now for our third, third episode? Yeah. Third episode of Fabula Ultima. Um, if you're new, this is a tabletop JRPG, so, uh, borrows heavily from the JRPG genre. Um, if you're new, new, we are Tabletop Travel Agency.
We do a exploratory stream about different RPGs. Um, this is our third episode. If you wanna go catch up, go do that. But for now, welcome back. Um, does someone wanna give a recap of where last we left off, quickly? I did it last time. Oh, boy. I did it the first time, I'm pretty sure. You did it- Yeah. You did it on the first episode?
Yeah. No, I did. I recapped everything. Our lives. Our stories. Who we are in here. All right, after we have, we received our moment [00:04:00] of goodwill from, um, Helio- Our egg ... the, the coral. The egg. We received it and we were totally excited to go bring it and go get more, when a pirate cat with an airship stole it. It was a clown.
It was a clown. I'm sorry. A clown. It seemed... There was pirate vibes. P- c- pirate clowns. There will be no clown erasure on this trip. My apologies. They were- You quit clowning around with that introduction ... they were clowns. They were clowns. That's highly offensive. Almost a cat clown. Cat clowns stole our eggs right out from under us, so we decided to go to the Shining Citadel to see, uh, if we could get any info there, and get a moment of goodwill on our way, much to the chagrin of Candle.
Um, we are now currently in the sewers underneath the castle, trying to sneak in after the castle wouldn't let us in, because we lacked papers. Um, and we made friends with some rats. I feel like I've gotten everything. Yeah. I forgot about all of that. Well, I'm glad we did a recap. I was driving here like, "Please don't let me do the recap."[00:05:00]
I forgot there was rats involved. There were rats involved. Yeah, there were rats involved. But we made friends with them, 'cause we can talk to rats. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I was like, "Yo, little rat man, like, what's going on?" Little rat dudes. Yeah, rat dudes. All right, um, so yeah, where we left last, we left off, the rats had shown you the path to the, um, castle, and you found yourself, um, below a hatch into the castle, kind of like a little grate.
Um, and there's not really any way up, there's just this grate. Okay. Squig, squeak, and squeak, squeak, squeak. Squeak, squeak. Um, we could give a boost. We could boost people. Um, I'm large, I could... How high up is the grate on the ceiling? How h- how tall is this area? I mean, probably like 10 feet. It's a sewer, it's not that- Okay.
I'll just put like two arms like this, and you guys can just, like, step up. Okay. If I go up you, that's definitely, we've made it, 'cause you're seven feet tall and- ... [00:06:00] ab- definitely above six feet tall. That's what you say at parties. Uh, so yeah, w- can you give us a boost? Yeah. So you... I don't think that's a role you pick up, Squid.
Huh. Uh, the- Carefully ... it is a, like, closed grate- Okay ... so you are gonna have to figure out a way to deal with it. Mm-hmm. All right. Meeting some resistance. Is there, is there a chance we could have Jerry just yank this thing off like last time? He did a great job. Get... I mean, if you wanna get up there on the stack, you might- Little mouse dude, I might need assistance up here All right.
I don't know if you can stack another person, 'cause you're already like sitting on it. That's true. I don't know either. So you, you stand here and I just... Yeah, do you even it out so we're the right heights now? Okay. I guess, I guess we're gonna try and- I'll roll for strength, if I have to ... force this grate up.
All right. Um- Just pure trying to f- I, I think that's what we're doing together, yeah. Yeah, unless we, unless- [00:07:00] Willpower plus willpower. I love it. So that's a D6 plus D6. I feel like I have to hold the stability, too. Um, are we doing a group roll? That's not might, that's willpower. I think you two are right now Jerry supporters.
Yay. We're Jerry supporters. Woo-woo. I support Jerry. Uh, might, sorry. So might plus might. Might. Okay. Or might plus willpower, I guess you could say. Uh, K- Kendall's just hands up, not involved. You are not a Jerry supporter. Might and willpower. All right. Are we also rolling- My twinkish build is not an asset to this current situation.
Are we also rolling will plus will? Uh, might plus willpower. I got- Oh, darn. I got an 11. Okay. Got a nine. So you are no help. What'd you get? I got a four. You're doing great, bud. Um, okay. Yeah, you pry it off. It does make some noise this time. You know, it clatters. Um, so you hope there's nobody up in the room that you just burst into.
I'm just imagining, like, Jerry peeking his head out like... Like a periscope. Yeah. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Uh, you do a, a, a mouse scan of the room. A mouse [00:08:00] scan. With your mouse eyes. Um, the room is empty. It appears to be, like, a laundry room. There's stacks of, like, towels. There's little washboards. You know, there's stuff hanging up.
Um, the whole room- Kind of like Jerry's abs ... yeah, exactly. Um, the room is just full of, like, linens. Um, very empty right now. Do you see anything? It, uh, looks pretty empty right now. I think, I think we're good to, I think we're good to climb in here. Okay. I, I scale up behind, and I put down beefy arms to help- Yeah, I just scurry-
up you. Scurry my little rat body in. My little mouse body. All right, you all- We got, I got you ... do your cool, like- I got you ... spy flips and your pose as you enter the laundry room. I got you. Kendall is not in there. I got- Kendall is still in the sewer. Come on. Uh, this, uh, I think I heard a rat saying they need more cheese or something.
I, I, uh, I could go the other way and, and- Get out of the hole. Come on. [00:09:00] Ha. Ugh.
I'm like 300 pounds of fluff, so that's impressive. That's, that's me. Impressive. I, I find it funny that Squid can pull 300 pounds out of a hole, but Jer is the only one that can move the, the manhole and grate covers. He's got those tiny- Yeah ... decorative mouse hands. I also love the sound that, like, 300 pounds of fluff would make going through this, going like, pff.
Wouldn't like... As like feathers pop out everywhere as you come into the room. All right. So you are in the laundry room. Okay. Um, you know, it smells like fresh linens. Mm. Um, there is one doorway kind of like at the north of the room. Should we try and, like, don disguises? We're in the laundry room. Hmm. We can try I love that.
That's so smart. Okay, so we could don disguises, but- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Actually, disguises are really fun. I love disguises. You know, I had a feeling you would and didn't wanna delve [00:10:00] into it, but I just felt- Give me a minute ... you didn't have to. Watch, like, junk go flying everywhere. Ah. There's, like, a pound of feathers, and I'm just, like, makeup.
Is this mine? I have, like, a full makeup kit. Oh my God, I have so many sisters. I will accept that 'cause you are a clown. Any other, like, disguise things you wanna pull out of nowhere has to be a fabula point, but clown makeup makes sense. It's specifically, like, grease paint. I can do so- Where are the fabula points?
I can do things with this, though. Where are the fabula points? Oh, yeah, we should all have fabula points. Here. I don't have any at the moment, but- I wrote down my fabula points that I have. We get the equal ones. You have equal to a point? I don't have any at the moment, so. Oh, no, I got one. I got one. Okay, sorry.
I used mine. All right, um- What's a fabula point? If you would like to check the room for anything you can use, that would be probably an insight plus willpower. Okay. I have a- I do. Okay. I would like to check the room for anything I can use. All righty. Hey, Jerry's a- I got a seven and a 15. Jerry's a three-foot mouse.
There's not many ways he could disguise himself. But a plus one to one of those, so 11. I get a six total, uh, five and a one. Okay. Seven. You only find a sheet, and you're, [00:11:00] like- ... trying to figure out if you know how to make, like, a toga out of it. Um, with a seven? Oh. Is that what you said? Yeah. Yeah, you find, like, nothing super exciting, but you find, like, a shirt and pants.
They're not gonna fit you appropriately. And you got an 11. I got an 11. Um- I've got an idea. I have no option. Yeah. Hold on. You find, like, a pair of, like, what looks to be, like, serving clothes. Like, you know, some unassuming slacks and, like, button-up shirt. Oh, perfect. And, like, a little bow tie. You- Candle. For you, you can- It's gonna pop right off, though.
Yeah, no, it's great. What did you find? Nothing, um, just clothes. Yep. Nobody knows who we are, so disguises- I've got an idea ... aren't really that great except for serving clothes. I, I take the- This is, this is, this is useful, but mouse. I, I... Is there, like, a cart, like, for linens and what- Hmm. Yeah. I take the cart, and I, I look at the penguin, and I go, I tap it.
Sit. On, on top of the cart? On top of the cart. I- [00:12:00] I, like, tap it. I sit. I undo the sheet, and I cover you. It's tighter. And I go- Aw. Oh, no, it's okay, Bub. I go- I live in a cave. I like, I cut out the face, and I go like, "Make the dumbest face you can make." Ooh. No, less scary, more just like unassumingly stupid. Why does everyone says I'm scary?
Um. Make unas- unas... Yeah, good. This is a stuffed animal. Uh. I am a delivery person. You are helping me deliver it to the queen's room. I'm down. I immediately just ch- get changed into this outfit. Geri, you get under the penguin. A button immediately pops. Of course. It's, it's full chest. I don't have a, I don't have a fabula point at this moment.
But I still have the, still have the bow tie on. You have one, though. No, I don't. He doesn't. Every time we start a session, we get one. Oh, yeah. Every time. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I am going to use- Immediately ... my fabula point. Geri's going to use, uh, see you later, which is I [00:13:00] may use an action and spend one fabula point to vanish from the current scene and reappear during a different scene where everyone is present.
So Geri- That sounds really good ... completely fed up- That is great ... with this whole disguise BS, is just going to disappear. He's just like, "I..." Literally, Geri is gone. He is not in the room. I turn around, Geri's just gone. No. I wanna use my point to- So I'll just, I'll just sit here drinking my soda ... to cancel the weather.
Cap- cabin spoils sports. Gone. Okay. I think that's the best way. All right. Go team?
I, uh, make- Why the sheep? 'Cause that way they don't touch you and feel like penguin flesh. They feel like sheep. But I'm fluffy. Yeah, but he's super fluffy. I mean, if he just like- Yeah, but the fluff is coming- ... he went vacant ... kinda through the seat. It, I feel like if they sit on him, they're gonna go like, they're gonna go like, "Oh, this feels like meat," you know?
Like, there's a layer of fluff- I don't know ... and then there's meat. You're so fluffy. We could, we, we could also just pull the sheet fully over and be like, "Oh, it's a wrap gift." My last name is literally Peluches. It'll [00:14:00] be funny. It's toys in Spanish. I think we fully Chitty Chitty Bang Bang this and he's a toy.
All right. I love that Chitty Chitty Bang Bang canonically exists within this universe. Now it does. All right. It's a famous play. I got you. And I, I, I- I go, "Nobody... Everybody turn around." I guess I- "I am going to de-clown." Oh. Oh. Oh, okay. Turn around. I respect you. Thank you. I, like, turn around and you see the, the, like, fancy gestures, like, vest go flying behind me.
And- Bubbles blushes ... I, like- I emerge just wearing, like, a regular shirt. Ah. And, like... However, however- Mm-hmm ... there is, like, a s- there are two stars under my eyes that are, like, always been there. Mm-hmm. They will not come off. These are burnt into my face. I can't get rid of them. They're genetic. Mm-hmm. Okay.
This never happened. Yeah. And I take off the bandages from all the burns [00:15:00] and stuff, and I've got these, like, very elaborate tattoos all over my arm. And I, I go, "Okay. Are we good?" We're good. Good. Do you have a fisherman's hat? Of course I do. Hand it to me. That seems like a good idea. I, I kind of put it on and I pull it over my nose, like my face so- Okay
so I can't be seen really well. I s- I begin to push. I don't need that back, it's Todd's. I sit down with my legs very straight and my arms like this, and I'm very stiff. And I'm like- You're doing so good, Bubbles. Uh, dex plus- ... willpower. Yes. Oh, gosh. You've got this. Are you going into the next room? All right.
I need new dice- Yeah ... 'cause these dice have sucked. The Chinese. I like that I had Jerry just disappear, 'cause there's only two exits to this place, which is the door and the way we came. What'd you get? I got a nine. Is that good? Yeah. You know, like, it wouldn't pass the smell test if someone really cared enough to look, but for, from a glance, that's a, that's a large- You smell good though
stuffed animal. Um, you- I s- I smell like bathtub. And you imagine you smell nice. Can't wait for [00:16:00] somebody to get one good roll and just destroy all the work we've done in an instant. And Jerry's just somewhere. I wanna remind you that, well, we've been in the sewers. I... We might stink a bit. But, like, my, um, little bathrobe was just soaked in, like, my pretty little bath water that I made with the soaps and stuff and everything.
What? I still have, like, a little bit of glitter on me. Oh, I reek of c- of Funfetti- Of Funfetti ... everywhere I go. Like, it... No. Like, you think, like, "Oh, that sounds nice." It's not pleasant. What? Mm. If you were stuck in a room with me for long enough, it reeks. All right. So you'll have to stand near me s- in case they wanna smell.
So you head out. Um, you find yourself in a small little hall, and the door in front of you is open to the next room. There's this large, sort of like work room for the servants. It looks like there's, like, a big sink to, um, wash, like, dishes in there. There's a bunch of, like, linens. And you realize people in this room are running all over the place.
Um, there's also two doors to either side. So you have the door in front of you with the room full of servants, and then these two [00:17:00] doors.
I feel like we then should not go in there. Uh, I'm trying to remember where her room was. She probably moved rooms. Uh, uh... Can I try to remember? Yeah, that would be- What do I- ... a insight, plus insight, I think. 2 D8s. Let me get another D8. Somebody, somebody D8 me. Yeah, this one's been nice. Here.
Oh. That's a six. Oh, it has been nice. Now it's in jail. Give me another D8. You got that fabulous one. No, no, we'll just- No, you're just- ... we'll just take that ... your mind is blanking. You're very anxious. Um- This one. I just, I just slam a door open. Uh, left, right or... I guess left or right, 'cause the front one is open.
Uh-
Left. All right. So facing you. Uh- Did you just flip your favilla point, which looks the same on both sides? Yes. Why are you asking me [00:18:00] questions you know the answer to? You open the door, you find a mech- like, what looks to be a, a closet for, like, the mechanical things that run parts of the castle. Um, so there's these big, like, steam-powered devices.
Looks like there might be, like, sort of a furnace situation in here. Hmm. And then there's a staircase down. Uh, even with your six, you're fairly certain down is not the answer. Other door. So not left. Excellent. Uh, it's a second mechanical closet. This one has another sort of, some sort of magical engine that's powering something.
Um, it seems to be running full steam, so it's powering something somewhere. It looks like that wasn't the right answer. Why? Okay. Like, beyond just- All right ... the castle's being heated with, like, a full, like, gas thing. Yeah Right? Why, why would you have two electrical boxes hooked up to the same house? You can roll to see what this one might be.
What would that be? With his, [00:19:00] with his what, four PhDs? Insight and insight. Again, I don't think you're- Psychology, mechanical engineering, and chemistry, to be specific. So three. Three. That's a seven and a two, a nine. Okay. Um, it probably does some sort of, like, magical effect in the castle somewhere, like lighting or, like, some sort of, like, visual or sound or that sort of effect.
Um, it is running full blast, which makes you think something is, like, going on.
Hmm. Um, but yeah, this would do, like, sensory magical effects. Like make the castle smell nice or have little lights or- What do you mean? We need a distraction later when we come back to this room. We could come back to this room. Keep in mind, we can come back to both rooms. And a well-timed explosion could solve a lot of our problems.
Um, okay, then I guess we go down the... There's a third door? Yeah, that's into the room full of servants rushing around, but they all look very distracted. All right. They're clearly [00:20:00] in the middle of something. Okay. Just go through? Just to make sure I have it, what's her name again? The queen? Yes. Clethra
Okay. All right. Let's go through the only other option. All right. You just being cas?. No eye contact, just, I mean, be cas for that, yeah. Just, my arms are starting to hurt. Just, just hold my head down, just moving. Yeah, you head into this sort of workroom. Um, people are steaming out, like, table cloths, they're washing dishes, they're sending dishes out to the next room, which seems to be the kitchen.
Um, and everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off. So again, you get the sense, like, something is going on. Okay. Um- You know how at every restaurant ever, there's always like one cook off to the side smoking a cigarette, like, not... Just, uh, taking his five. Yeah. Like, having a bad time.
Mm-hmm. I want to, like, kind of push [00:21:00] a little further, and then, like, look for one of those. Like, one guy, like, kind of taken aback from the situation. Sure. Um, yeah, in the corner you see a frog person. Um, they're sitting on, like, a barrel, just kind of sitting and drinking, like, a bottle of something, like, taking a break.
Hmm. I, I scoot up next to them, and I, I kind of, like, I, I hand the cart to you. I go like- Yeah, no, I got it. Mm-hmm. I give the frog one of these, though. He, he gives you a polite nod. Like, "Mm-hmm." Uh, uh, ahem.
So sorry to bother you. Oh my God. My name is Dale. Yes. Um, I'm, I'm running delivery for a gift sent from... What's the sky kingdom called? I don't- The sky, the [00:22:00] birds. The birds sent me with something. Uh, just quick question. What's with all the clamor and commotion? I, I got, I got told to go through a back door.
It was a whole thing. You fall on your head, buddy? Uh. It's the suitor's ball. Ah? It's the suitor's ball. What? Oh, no. Yeah, we know all about that. Thank you very much for your information. Sorry, I was just curious. Yeah, it's fine. Uh- We're gonna go then. I... Do you know where her room is, really quick, so we can drop it off outside of it?
You could leave it here. I can't just send you up to the queen's room. Well, we, we could do the least and, like, drop it off by the stairs. It's the least that we could do. You know? You guys have a whole busy kitchen going on. Take up a lot of room here. You're- Yeah ... delivering a package? Yeah. You have an envoy license?
Yeah. Can I see it? No, it's in my truck. Well, then can you go get it so that I can validate- I had to go through the back 'cause the guards made me, all right? I, I don't know if, if you've got a weapon on you, but unless you do, I'm gonna move this package. [00:23:00] Politely. Just wondering. Yeah, you... I get it. I, I just... I, I don't even bother, like, upholding the lie.
I just walk, hoping that me- He sighs and shakes his head ... leaving his side or his sight is going to make me go away. He just sighs and goes back to, like, sipping on his drink. Um, there's a- Dale, you've done it again. There is a room to the left, or sorry, a room to the right and a room going forward that you know is the kitchen.
We don't need to go to the kitchen. Go to the other room. Yeah. Okay. Um, you walk in. This room is currently empty. Uh, it appears to be, like, where a seamstress or a tailor would be working. There's all sorts of, like, fabric everywhere. There's in progress outfits for, like, the people of the castle. Um, it looks like it's a mess in here, like someone was working very hard recently, but there's a lot more clothes in here than what you saw in the laundry room.
Um. This could be a better disguise. Probably all those [00:24:00] dresses for that suitor's ball. This could be nice. All those, all those suitors needed... Wait, no. I don't know much about this kingdom. Are there any gigantic dresses? I love the implication that the sewers are seeping into the normal world. Yeah, there's people...
Like, I'm not... Like, your sizes, both of you, are not that abnormal. There are, like- I'm just checking ... there are people of your sizes. You can find clothing. You said the other clothes wouldn't fit me, is what I'm making sure- Well, yeah, 'cause you rolled bad ... oh, thanks. Gerry felt it was time to disappear- I say-
and figure something else out. I say new Dig- New Doug's time. New- New Dig- New Doug's. People wipe. Let's go a little further with these, I think, but... And I- I- I'm already off the cart or anything- I, okay ... through the, the outfits. All right. I guess. All right. Let's just do this. Let's just dress. It's color. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I find a dress that has exactly the colors you're wearing right now, but like layered through. Oh. And almost like an ombre kinda, you know? Absolutely. Right? Or that the... Stunning. Make your outfits. You're in the- [00:25:00] Find something as neutral as possible. Just- Okay. You find- ... trying to blend in. Okay. Just like a gray suit.
Yeah. I find the, um, the blue Dumb and Dumber suit. But I pull it off, I pull it off really well 'cause I'm, I, the, there's no ruffle shirt. It's just, it's just- Can I take a peek or something? I see. Okay. Oh, it's horrific. But it looks hot on me 'cause I'm very hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're, you're very- And the top button just psh.
It explodes. It's a very bright, colorful, uh, suit. All right. Yeah. You- With pants ... y'all get dressed up except for Gerry, who's, I don't know where. Sir not appearing in this film right now. We'll reappear at some point. I'm waiting. I, I know what I'm waiting in. Do you wanna grab something? We can... The suit is, the suit's boring.
I look for a dress, like a neutral dress. Yeah. Um, you find like a pretty standard, like, lady of the court dress. It's a unassuming, like, pale color of your choice. Um- You should go with like orange or red, like [00:26:00] fire. Unless that's not what you wanted, but I really think it would look great. We're trying to blend in.
I think if we try to stand out, we're gonna look bad. Plus, I can move in this way easier than that suit. Oh my God. Oh my God, Dess. Goddess. Destiny. I mean, like the goddess Destiny, not like your... You think she's doing all right? Yeah, I do. I start doing a little penguin strut, just... All right, so you're all dressed up.
Um, there's only one other door in this room, and it's like, it's a door frame. You can see it leads to a coat room.
Ooh. Okay. Friendly little sun hat Put this on. We're not trying to steal I'm just borrowing. You look great. Thank you. We're already in the castle, but there's something going on. I knew that. So there's coats in the coat room, there's already people here. Maybe someone has an invitation in their pocket or something that we could, maybe we, we rifle?
Maybe we do some, a, a [00:27:00] mild rifling. Now we're s- No intent to steal. Hmm. Right. No intention- No intent to steal ... Oh, of course, no intention to steal. And I, I, I reach into somebody's pocket and I pull out a wallet and I put it in my back pocket. I mean, I don't intend to steal. You're in an empty room right now.
Oh, I thought we were in a coat room. Oh, there's a coat room. Well, you could go into the coat room if you said- I go into the coat- Oh, okay. There is a singular person in there- Oh. Oh ... you know, checking in coats and such. Perfect. They look a little confused. I can't steal his wallet. They look a little confused that you came out of the seamstress's room.
Are you- That's not a bathroom at all. Oh. There's terrible directions around this place. No, bathrooms- So sorry ... out this way. Oh, thank you. I see why you got confused. The powder room's out this door. Thank you so much. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What, oh. Nope. Let's just go. Let's just go. Let's just go. Let's just go. You're doing a great job.
Dale away. They look very confused. Hmm. Same. Um- We're doing so great at this. Two, three. Yeah. Uh, so you walk into- So- ... this large powder room. [00:28:00] Um, there's, like, a couple of bathroom stalls, and then there's a big area where you can, you know, powder your nose, do your makeup. Um, you can hear... You must be getting close to where the action is because kind of floating through the wall that would be on your left is music.
Um- Okay, you want me to do your makeup? And a lot of, like, the sound of a crowd. Yes. Wait, what was the plan? What were we doing here? I think we're going to the ball. Oh. Right now we're doing some makeup. Oh. Well, then we- Yes ... we could not do that. We, we just- We're doing beautiful- I thought we were just looking for information to find our old bag.
Um- We're great ... uh, but, uh, but- We gotta find the queen, right? She's probably at the ball. I can do some flames on your face. She's, she's 1,000% at the ball. Yes. But, you know- It, we're doing it ... it's just, it's just occurring to me. Y- do you guys also feel like maybe we're walking into a, a, a, a bad idea? You think that's where Jerry went to, to the ball?
Probably. Jerry's probably dancing. Oh, my gosh. Hmm. Without us? Oh. He doesn't feel joy. He probably dancing. He's not dancing. Well, you don't know. His feet have toes. That might be his one hobby. Oh, my gosh. And that's [00:29:00] why he left so fast. I, I, I have a pretty good feeling his one hobby is sitting in silence.
But you know those toes are tapping. He didn't smile when he was sitting in silence, so I think you're wrong. He doesn't smile ever. You don't know that. You only know- I'm pretty confident in it Uh- ... you've known him as long as we have. By the way, point is, what are we doing here? I've got some glitter. Would you like flames?
Would you like, like, maybe just some really nice cat eye?
I think gold would really- I, I, I, I wretch sparkles into the sink. Like, glitter comes out of my mouth. Like, ah. You've got this. There's gonna be puking at least once per
episode. Use your gravity powers too much, bud? Uh, as you're- Shut up. As you're all stressing and chatting, um- Stressing? Oh, I f- I feel the most stressed. I'm so excited. Well, some are stressing, some are chatting. Um- I do better makeup on my... A Ostio Kingdom looking individual, she's a goose. [00:30:00] Um, she's got this grayish blue feather pattern.
She's wearing this beautiful, um, dress that just looks like, you know, clouds and- ... you know, with the lace and gauze and beautiful and puffy. And she walks over and she says, "I haven't seen you before. What kingdoms are you from?" M'lady.
And I immediately go into a deep bow, with a hand extended. She does, like, a little giggly honk type thing that I'm not gonna try to do, 'cause I don't know how that would turn out. Um, and she does a l- a little curtsy with... It- I'm from Equasio. I'm from around here. Aparisio. Oh, what families are you from?
The good ones. Oh. Peluchas. Very foreign. I haven't... Ooh, I haven't heard of that. What do
you do? We're different. A little bit of everything. Ooh. Well, my family too. We own a pretty good amount of factories over in Ostio. I'm mostly here to support my sister. She's here for the suitor's ball. Wow. [00:31:00] Bubbles is sweating so hard right now. Participate? Yes. Is she also a goose? Well, yes. All right. I'm sorry, I think I ate something that disagreed with me.
It was a lot of glitter. Ugh. We keep telling him not to eat all the glitter. I'm just... I'm, I'm really nervous. Well, of course you are. I mean, Queen Clethora can only pick one suitor. Yeah. I'm so excited. Well, I wish you the best of luck if you're participating, and, you know, enjoy the night out. Oh. Hmm. Just start rubbing their backs and go- Well, have a good night It was lovely meeting you.
And just gonna float away. It's gonna be okay. Um, out the door back to the... Well, I'm ready to go. Who wants to leave? Uh, as the door opens- Yes ... you see a glimpse. There's a big ball happening in what appears to be, like, a big hall outside. Ooh. And you know, [00:32:00] M- M- Mouse isn't here to, you know, tell us what to say or not.
We can just go. It's time to face your fears. You
wanna get one more puke in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, get some pukes in. It's fine. All right, all right. So fast-forward past this. All right. You're D. Clown. No one's gonna recognize you. Let's get in there. And I just- You look awesome ... grab them by the shoulders. Do you- I- When you- Will it? When you... Do you guys, like, grab me or- Grab you, like- Very- I, I begin to, like, I begin to, like, drag my nails under the ground.
I pull hard. Ah. I think that seems- Like a samurai movie. We were chosen for a reason.
All right. Are you heading out into the ballroom? Yeah. I, uh, they're being dragged. Great. So you head out into the ballroom. Um, it is full of people from all sorts of kingdoms. You know, I guess it's- You know, you [00:33:00] see birds, you see little mouse guys. You see, um, fish folk. Oh. You see humans. Um, everyone's dressed to the nines, and you can tell everyone looks very, like, of money here.
Hmm. And visible across the room- Oh, no ... is Jerry in a borderline royal looking suit- ... with a potentially spiked kale smoothie in his hand. I- You are looking fantastic. Oh, I'm like across the room. Oh, hi. Um, well dressed. I'm imagining you're like in a crowd of people, sipping your drink. Yes. And you're like, "So I said."
That's exactly what Jerry is doing right now. Oh. He is very much non-recognizable, aside from the fact of his scar on his face. You're Bruce Wayne-ing- ... is what you're doing. I- So I see a lot of people, and I'm like, "Oh." And I immediately just, like, push Squid a little bit forward, and then, like, try to just shrink behind you a little bit, even though I'm still towering over you.
While you're both distracted, I immediately duck under a table. [00:34:00] I watch you do it and I'm like, "Yeah." They need some table time. You know, it happens. You come to a party sometimes, you need some table time. All right, you're under a table. We need
to talk about today. There's too many people here. Can you lead the way? Absolutely. Do you wanna stay at the table and keep an eye on- Find a different table ... what's going... No, we're gonna stay with you. Someone's gonna stay with you. I wanna have fun, but I'm nervous. Okay, you can come with me. It's all right.
We're gonna just interrupt what's going on over here. I have a glass. Yeah, so you... Are you wearing a top hat? There is a top hat under my arm. Oh. I'm not wearing it at the moment, because it would be rude to wear it inside. Yeah. Is there plumage on the top hat? There is no plumage on the top hat. Come on, Bubbles.
But there is definitely plumage on the jacket. Mm. Ooh. Oh, okay. Ooh, tasteful. All right. So yeah, you have amassed a little crowd around you, who seem like, hanging on every word- ... [00:35:00] with your natural mouse charisma. Um, you know- Natural mouse charisma. They're enraptured in whatever story you're telling right now.
And then I say to the clown, "What are we doing? Why are you doing tricks underground? It doesn't make any sense. Underwater, you're just gonna lose all your cards." And the crowd laughs at this. Because they also think it's ridiculous that a clown would do tricks underwater. Yeah, they're all, you know, laughing, um, eventually.
Y- Gery's basically just recounting them, like, of what we've been up to, and they all think it's just some crazy tale. Yeah. No, they're like, "Oh, you know these adventurers, they always have these crazy tales." Um, so. Can, can we hear any of that as we approach? Yeah, you walk in. Recounting our adventures, little man?
Very much so, my dear lad. I am loving this. Oh. My usual attire. I've saw your usual attire- Yeah ... but it's just the color I haven't seen on you in a while. Very much. It's important. I'm, I'm normally a red guy, this is more of a [00:36:00] purple. I know. It's a plum. Fantastic. Phenomenal plum. Everyone's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."
"Lovely. Lovely." Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Squidius, uh, my mother's goddess of the sea, Calypso. It's fine. Don't worry about it. A couple people shake your hand. Bubbles. Bubbles and Angel is very physically uncomfortable with this. And it's just stiff, quiet. I, I, I feel like the crowd, because I, the way I'm telling the story definitely described all of them, the crowd is like, "Are these your friends?"
They're like, "Oh, we've heard so much about you. Oh, you must be Bubbles." They're a fantastic g- uh, g- adventurist. And they're, oh, like, they have gotten us out of so many scrapes. It's, it's amazing. Wow. Their magic is phenomenal. You see- They do a great job ... a fairly standard looking penguin person. Uh, and they say, "Wow, you really are as fluffy as, uh, Gery was saying."
He's really fluffy. Can I...? Yes. Yes, please. Ooh, you're very fluffy. It's, it's nice to meet you. Nice to meet [00:37:00] you. I'm Bubbles. I'm... A penguin. I'm a penguin. Pablo. Pablo. It's nice to meet you, Pablo. I guess it's Pablo. I guess I hand this thing to you. Now, now, now, where, where is our clown friend? Uh, do you mean Dale?
Yeah. Yes. Normal human friend. With... Yeah, a normal human friend. Uh, they... I know they clown around a lot. They- They make us laugh. You, you are right. They make us laugh. They do love to clown around. I think they dropped an earring underneath that table over there. We should... I'm g- I'm- They're probably still searching.
Yeah. You know what? I'm actually gonna go help them find that. Uh, you may want to help as well. Jerry turns to the crowd, "If you'll excuse me," and he bows- ... and he makes his way to where they're going. Okay. That was amazing and indeed, but not now. All right. Now you can knock on the table. Hey, bud.
No one's home. What are you doing under the table, clown? X, no, no, okay, it's Dale right now. Dale.[00:38:00]
Dale is upset. Dale is nervous. I'm, like, three steps from meeting the queen here. I've been working my way through schmoozing these people. You gotta get out from under the table. You're not meeting nothing, mouse boy. You stay in there. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm sensing some tensions. You all right? I will roast you like a pig if you even say a word to her.
I will put one between your eyes, bud. We're here to say a lot of words to her. And I would like to say none of them. Have fun. He- I spilled my drink. And I am sorry about that. The little magical lights dim a little. Ooh. Um, and everyone kind of goes quiet somewhat. Uh, there's a ... There's a light kind of near the front of the ballroom where everyone's eyes are drawn as this, um, important-ish looking servant person comes [00:39:00] up.
Uh, their voice is magically projected. You can see why they're pumping magical energy into this room now. And they'll say, "Ladies, gentlemen, and friends of The Shining Citadel, we thank you so much for coming out to the Suitor's Ball tonight." With your little drink. Um, "Queen Cletherol will be joining us in just a moment, but may I first introduce The Shining Citadel's council."
Um, a bunch of women will walk out. They're wearing these very, like, austere black dresses with little, like, cloaks. Um, you know, just all sorts of middle-aged women who look very politician-y. Most of which are human. There's a few that aren't. Um, I will turn the, uh, announcements over to Miss Hestia Flameheart now.
She will be introducing the queen. Um, this woman comes up. She has bright ginger hair, very, like, fancy, tied up, but [00:40:00] it looks very, like, curly. Um, she has a little star under one eye. Um, and she smiles and looks over the crowd. Um, she looks- Like Grabsquid. She's smiling, but you get the sense that she's, like, a very stern, serious woman.
Like, a smile just does not look appropriate on her, kind of. Um, and she does the same sort of pleasantries as Candle's kind of freaking out. You miss some of it because Candle's
just like- I need to go Yes, thank you so much for making it out. It is no small task for Queen Clethra to pick a suitor, so I ask that you all are mindful of her time tonight, and accept that it is her choice who she chooses to dance with. Um, we are very excited to be holding this event. Queen Clethra is truly a wonderful leader, and we hope that any suitor she may pick will continue to foster the strength that she has given to our kingdom.
Um, before she comes out, I [00:41:00] would like to introduce her grandmother, Lady Iris, and thank her for her time. Um, you'll see this older human woman, gray hair, very well-dressed, uh, being helped out by like a servant holding her arm, and she will come out and kind of wave More pleasantries, you know The tablecloth at this point begins to s- begins to smoke
I don't think there is another way around this Can, can Jerry, uh, are the birthmarks on Camel's face and, or Dale's face and the woman the same? Can Jerry tell? Uh, yeah. Not identical, but similar enough You, uh- You don't need to explain anything. But I think we, you know what we have to do. If you wanna stay under the table for this- Um
I get it. You notice that people are starting to look at you as the room has gone [00:42:00] silent. You're giving away the game, bud. I let you go and I immediately do this. To the tablecloth? Yes. And we are thrilled to, uh, invite into the room our guest of honor for the evening, uh, Queen Kethra. Uh, and out to, like, uproarious applause walks this woman.
Glitter begins to pool at the bottom of the tablecloth. She is wearing this beautiful, like, very metallic looking dress. It's, like, gold and s- and, like, steel colors, and she has this big crown on that matches. She has, um, brassy brown hair all tied up above the, the crown. Um, you notice she's very young. She is probably, like, 20s, you know.
Um, I don't know how much any of you keep up with Shining Citadel politics. [00:43:00] But she clearly, like, was probably made queen recently. It would make sense considering she is having a ball to find a suitable marriage candidate to be, like, her king and/or queen and/or other royalty. Um, she comes out and waves.
Thank you everyone for coming out. It is quite an honor to have so many of our nation's best and brightest here to meet me. I hope to get to know all of you. But please continue to enjoy the festivities. Thank you so much. And just applause. Um- At this point, Candle is fully off of the table, and, like, standing, like, fully, like, just looking.
Yeah, she looks beautiful. Um, she looks, you know, a little more, again, austere than you might be used to seeing her. She's very dressed up. Um, she's in work mode, so she's very, like, postured. She's careful with how she speaks. Um, she's very much, like, putting on [00:44:00] a front for people, 'cause, you know, she's here to, like, host this very important meeting for herself.
Um, and she's kind of flanked on both sides by, like, bodyguards who are politely keeping the crowd away from her so that she can sort of pick and choose who she'd like to talk to. You've conquered your fear. I have a thought. You don't have to give me your name, you don't have to give me anything that you don't wanna give me.
But if you give me something I could tell her, I'll go and dance with her. I, she's got a lot of bones for me. Don't worry about it. But I, I can... Who's not gonna dance with this? Come on. I think, I think- So I, I can go talk to her. Yes, Jerry? At this, at this point, Jerry's gonna put the top hat on- ... and he's gonna put the drink glass down.
Oh, no, I am the queen. And he's gonna start walking towards the queen. I, at this point- Um, the guards will kind of be like, "Excuse me, sir." She'll be like, "No, no, it's fine." Mm-hmm. "Uh, and what's your name?" My name is, uh, Jerry with an [00:45:00] H. Oh, Jerry with an H. It's, it's, comes after the R. Where do you hail from, Jerry with an H?
The Osteo Kingdom. How interesting. You must tell me more. I, I was, I was adopted by a feather folk when I was young, and I am, at the moment, learning to be the best envoy I can be, and I believe part of that is getting to meet the royalty of other nations. Uh, the bodyguards look like, "Who let this random trainy envoy in?"
But she again kind of is like, she's interested in what Jerry has to say. Were you saying something, David? You know what? I've got an idea. I'll let this continue. I'm just gonna let- Okay ... see how it plays out. Yeah. Um, while this is happening, um, the other pink pa- Pablo will ask to dance with you. Pablo. Yes.
Do you got this, Bubbles? Um- Thank you. At this point, I have fully disappeared. And they seem, like, actually kind of nervous to talk to you, and you're like, "Oh, they're nervous." But you realize after a minute it's, like, genuinely 'cause they think you're very [00:46:00] cool and interesting, and not 'cause you're scary.
That's so exciting. I'm definitely just gonna blab their ear off at first, and then, like, once the dancing starts, I'm like, I'll... Oh, they, they listen. Um, and you two start to dance. Um, Queen Clethora will invite you to dance. You are, like, a good two, three feet shorter than her. I would love to. Before she even gets your hand in hers, you see a table, Candle, back in the clown fit, goes Has a rose in their mouth somehow And walks, jumps table to table onto the dance floor in front of her.
Okay. Um, roll a willpower plus willpower. God, I hope it... I don't mean to sound, mean to sound a bad way, but if it's a bad roll I hope it's just that he jumps to a table and goes, wham. As Pablo obviously gets distracted by all this, I'm just like, "Oh, no, no." How is he doing? Uh, that would be [00:47:00] a 14. All right.
Woo. Wow. Um- They got it. Everyone goes a little quiet, and again, the guards, like, fully take out spears and point them at you. And she, like, apologizes to you very politely and turns around and is like, "Hold on." Does she know you by Candle? No. Okay. Uh, she looks at you with, um, confusion but, like, you see the recognition.
She's like, "Phoenix?" Jerry looks confused. I, I, I, I... The second words come out of her mouth, I take the rose out of my mouth, put it in hers, and go And, like, like in her teeth and I go, I go... And then I, I, I bow my head and go like this. She will look very confused for a minute, but she will kind of give a, a s- smile and choose to dance with you.
Hmm. I, I immediately, um, hit Jerry with my hip [00:48:00] as we go. A drink has suddenly appeared back in Jerry's hand and he s- slinks off somewhere. I'll dance with you. No, he's just gone now. Oh, man. Um, all right. She- He disappeared into the crowd ... she is doing, like, a very simple dance because she's more, like, confused and trying to, like, focus on one thing while, like, also dancing.
What are you doing here? Where have you been? Does your mother know? A lot, uh, okay. Quick coverage. Um, I have been a clown. I am great. My mom thinks I'm dead. That's how it should s- that's how it'll hopefully stay before we leave. Um, I'm an envoy now. I'm great, and it's Candle. Candle? Candle. Oh. I like that.
Candle. Thank you. It took me a long time to workshop that. It's sweet. Well, are you... [00:49:00] So you're leaving again?
I didn't really wanna come back, truth be told. Well, I'm glad you did.
I didn't miss you, for the record. I just, you know, I, I was young and I had to make a decision on staying for you or leaving for myself And I didn't, I didn't think exactly you'd be willing to come with me, so I, I split. Well, you know I can't. I know you can't. I wish I could say I understand, but
Are you happier? I, I, I like turn and I look at Jerry And I, and I look back at, at Squid and I go, "Hmm." And I, and our, and our lovely penguin friend. And I just like- I look at you dancing ... tearing up the dance floor with [00:50:00] Pavo. And I go
You made the right choice Thank you. I do need to talk to your mom Her grandma. Right. Her mom's dead. Her grandma. I gotta talk to- That's awkward. I gotta talk to your mom. S'mom. Well, my mom. S'mom. Um. Your mom's mom. Well, yeah, I'm sure you could talk to her, you know. She'd be happy to see you, too. I'll make sure your mom doesn't know you're here, I guess
I don't have to stop dancing yet if you don't want to
I'd like that I think I'd like that too Um, and there are a lot of eyes on you because the queen is dancing with, like- Yeah ... a random clown. [00:51:00] Um, your mother does notice, but I don't think she recognizes you because you are in full clown ge- right now. Like, you're clowning it out. Um, so you guys continue to dance, and, um, you could tell she's, like, she's a little sad.
She's happy to see you, but, you know, this is a, not exactly the most, like, happy reunion. Um, you know, she's very entrenched right now in, like, this event that's literally, like, a symbol of her duty to the kingdom, and she's seeing you, and it's... You can tell she's feeling very complicated while you guys dance.
Why are you going through with this? This seems really stupid. I have to. No, you don't. You're queen. You don't have to do anything. The kingdom needs me to do this. The king- I can't lead without- The kingdom doesn't need you to pick some stuck-up noble- ... to spend [00:52:00] the rest of your time with. Mm. You're more than competent to do the job on your own.
Well, even if that's true, you know, I have the ability to c- create some sort of stronger alliance for us. We need that. You do need it, but this is not how you get it. You're drowning. We are drowning the other kingdoms in soot and ash. That would be a much better way to make peace. Half of my time spent out of here has been time spent cleaning up our messes I'm not saying you need to snap your fingers and make a difference tonight, but- Yeah
performative stuff like this doesn't change anything. Well- I think it does. I think I can make a difference. Not all of us can just walk away from this. [00:53:00] I have to do what I can where I can. And you're not here, so what do you want me to do? I- I need to do this
I need to marry some goose to fix a problem that we caused? Maybe I do
Cheers from the Sky Kingdom.
I like, I kind of
What if I promise to come back? Candle
People are hurting I know
So what's your plan? I'm trying to figure that out. What's your plan? 'Cause right now it seems [00:54:00] you don't know either. No. But I'd say getting out there and starting to clean things up has, it's made me feel like I'm doing something. All this money, all this time, people coming here in fancy dresses, is that gonna save the reef from dying?
Is that gonna save the other places we've hurt? I don't know. But I have to try, and this is how I can try. It's not. It's-
And a- at this point I kind of like, I do like a spin and I put like distance between us, and then I let go. And I go like, "It's been really nice getting to come back. But-
You know, the person I fell childly in love with, [00:55:00] childishly in love with years ago, I don't think she would've just sat around while people are doing this. It's been nice. I need to do something about it I appreciate your time. Um, she does not look happy with that. She doesn't say anything else. I, uh, I, I kind of click with my boots and I begin to walk towards her grandmother.
Um, she'll take a minute to compose herself before disappearing into the crowd. I think Geri is gonna join Candle in walking up to the grandmother, but Geri silently is gonna hand a drink to Candle. It is clown juice. Where did you get clown juice? Geri managed to concoct some clown juice. Ah. Really puts the, the honk in you, you know?
Ugh. This is the, this is the first time [00:56:00] Geri has shown any form of okay-ness with Candle. Can I have spent my time dancing with his mom? With- You managed to- With their mom? Yeah, with them. Yeah. With their mom. That's only fair. I, I- Amazing. Um, she seems very confused that you've asked her to dance because she is, like, you know, a married woman in her- Oh, yeah
I assume 50s Not that married, though. But she'll be polite. You know, you're from a kingdom. I think it's funny though- Not that married ... 'cause we have, we have no idea what Candle's mom looks like. Squid just picked a random woman in the crowd that happened to be Candle's mom. I did say she is a- She has the birthmark.
Yeah, she has the birthmark. Oh, that's right. Yes. You deserve it, bro. She has the birthmark. And she's her hair, the black dress. That's right. Yes, yes. I forgot about the birthmark. Um, and she will, she will dance with you. You said your mother is... Oh. I've never seen this. What is this style of dance you're doing?
She does this. Your mother's Calypso, you said? Yeah. You know. Mm-hmm. Live by the reefs. Spend a lot [00:57:00] of time on the waves. Yes, I've heard she's been spending her time in the stilts these days. Yeah, you know, Todd's in the stilts. But- Yes, yes. Todd. Todd. I feel so bad for the man. I can't say I'm familiar with Todd.
Yeah, he's the latest one, you know, and she's- Oof. She's getting- Whoa ... she wants to experience life on all levels and whatever, but, like... Well, that's very noble of her. That's my mom. Whenever she decides, you know, to return to the city, we would love to discuss the potential to, like, you know, reinvigorate some of our alliances.
It's- Oh, she loves invigorating stuff. This is perfect. Oh my God. Squid. I see why Squid left home. And if you ever need to invigorate anything, you let me know. Right, well... I'm just imagining Geri looking over at Candle and being like, "I think Squid is flirting with your mom." [00:58:00] Uh, your mom is going to excuse herself.
I, I- As you walk over, uh, your mom walks past and she gives you, like, a strange look. Like, but you don't see recognition. You see, "Who is this bizarre clown that just wasted five minutes of the queen's life right at the beginning of the ball?" Like, kind of a mean look or? Kind of like a up and down, like- I shoulder check her.
I do, like, the rude, like, uh. She's like- I, I do the, I do this and I go like, "Eh, gross." And I walk away. You both, like, do the same like, "Uh, gross," as she's walking away. Oh. It's genetic. I, like, turn around and do this, "Eh." And then I walk.
Charisma just takes a sip of his drink ... I look at my Pablo and I just like- My Pablo Until we meet again. Give me a hug. Like, me and the Percy as I- Yeah, right ... reconvene with the others. Yeah. They'll give you a big hug. Aw. Um, and they'll like, "Yeah, [00:59:00] whenever you're in the city, you know, come see me." Uh, and they'll hurry off.
And y'all- Bubbles, get their cell phone numbers. I was literally in my head, I'm like, you know what? I, I, I get their email, you know? Yeah. They'll like write down like- Get your Line. They'll write down like the ritual symbols to like send them a message with magic. The runes. Yeah. They write down
the runes on an empty notebook. Send me the runes, baby. Yeah. So you've just had like your first dance with someone. Kids these days and your cell phones. Back in the day, we used to carve our, our runes into people with ritual knives. Somebody- Like real Americans. Somebody call Rune 111. Um, as you all reconvene, you will see there's like, there's a nice big table in the other side of the room for like when people wanna sit.
There's some like hors d'oeuvres. Um, Lady Iris, since she, you know, is not really of the dancing age anymore, is sitting with like probably one of her little like retainers, you know, um, having a drink and mostly keeping an eye on what Queen Clethra is up [01:00:00] to. Um, and you notice like by the time you look at her, she is already looking at you, Candle.
Hello, ma'am. Hello. My name is Candle. It's lovely to meet you. It's good to see you again. Ah. What? Don't be ridiculous. Candle, is it now? Yeah. Right. Sorry. You've come to- I like walked out on my feet. Come to break my granddaughter's heart a second time?
You know, we could have skipped this whole ordeal. A marriage between Kethra and the Flamehearts could have done something important for the kingdom, but I offered to stay. She and I, she didn't want me here. Well, I can't say I blame her. Well, ma'am, this next part's gonna be a little bit more difficult. [01:01:00] As envoys, we've been given a quest to retrieve a moment of goodwill from each of the elders.
We have completed with the Sea Kingdom. We've come for your time and to see if we can fulfill any of those, uh, requirements And again, sorry Well, it's not me you need to apologize to, but I appreciate it. Moment of goodwill. Yes, hmm. Let me think Oh. Hmm. Well, let me see As you know, I have gotten older. Um, the factory district has grown quite a bit, but on the other side of the factory is my family's former estate before my son's marriage moved us here.
Mm-hmm. My other son, [01:02:00] Clethra's uncle, his gravestone can be found out there. I can't reach it anymore Perhaps you can go and tend to the grave site, make sure nothing has damaged it or befallen it, and then I will give you the moment of goodwill that you seek. We can do that I give a very deep bow Jerry tips his top hat I'll be here
Yep. Well, I'll be back soon Okay
To walk towards the door Yeah. Um, from here out the ballroom there's like a little foyer and then you can just head out the front. Um, the, the guards look at you and are like trying to remember where they know you from, but you are now back outside- Oh ... in the city. Jerry just rips [01:03:00] off the to- just rips off the suit and he has his cloak on underneath.
Like, it just comes off. Where were you keeping the suit?
How did we do that? By being fabulous. No, I, I, I think it's 'cause our, our, our f- our lovely clown friend here has some history with the people in there. You know, if it makes you feel better, I never- Ugh. If it makes you feel better, I never disliked you 'cause you were a clown, but it's because I could tell you were rich.
You put the fabula in fabulous. I have been eating out of dumpsters and sitting in campfires for, like, three years. I clearly didn't care that much about being rich. Jerry taps his nose. The nose knows. I am not in for it right now, Jerry 10 minutes. 10 minutes. For the love of [01:04:00] destiny. Oh. This was Jerry trying to be nice.
That was Jerry trying to be nice? Yeah. 'Cause he was trying to say he doesn't hate you for like, your choices. To be, to be a clown. He just doesn't like rich people. It's not 'cause they're a clown. It's because they're that. It's 'cause they're rich. Ugh. You know the way to the graveyard site? Yeah, probably.
Yeah, you don't really know, like, where the family estate is, but you understand, like, past the fast- Yeah ... factory district. That's where we stayed. Um, and this would make sense to you, um, Clethra's grandmother is her paternal grandfather, or paternal grandmother, so would have moved into the castle when the father married the previous queen.
Um, so they would have had probably lived somewhere else in the city. Um, there was sort of a [01:05:00] neighborhood that got turned into factory district is probably what she's describing. And we'd know his, you know, name and stuff, right? Yeah. It's, uh, it's, it's Bert. Perfect. Bert. Bert. Bert Kingsnungle. Love that.
Bert Kingsnungle. Yeah. I'm, I'm writing it down. It's, it's canon. Bert Kingsnungle. So while Jerry was in there schmoozing and stuff like that, was he doing, like, a polite smile from time to time? No, most definitely. He w- But it was clearly like, to anyone who knows him- There were too many teeth ... like these three, yes, it was very clear Jerry was faking a smile with those people, but they couldn't tell.
Like, the people he was talking to couldn't tell. So- Jerry was, Jerry was schmoozing So Bubbles is like, "What were you doing with your face in there? You don't do that." And Jerry just does the really bad teeth smile again. All right. I was smiling. Okay. And then he stops smiling immediately. See, he [01:06:00] does it.
It's unsettling, but he does it. It's like watching somebody get possessed by a ghost. Boo. Ah. Yeah, obviously likes talking to rich people. A lot, actually. Mm-hmm. That was the first time I've ever seen you talk or hold a conversation for more than, like, two sentences. Two grumpy, grumpy sentences. Oh, no, I was just trying to get to meet the queen.
Why? Because she would introduce us to her grandma. Why not just walk up to the grandma? Royal lineage. I don't know. Y- They make a good point I don't know how this kingdom works. So you went, "Let me walk up to the queen and schmooze"? You know how schmoozing works, for sure. You do know how schmoozing works.
A suspicious amount how schmoozing works. Just good at it. I don't know. I found a cool looking suit. I put it on. Found. Okay. They put a drink in my hand, and I just had some fun. I mean, you also all found suits. I don't know [01:07:00] why this is that suspicious. But Jerry's, like, had plumage and stuff. Like, he he definitely may have robbed a royal.
J- Jerry's had, like, his name embroidered on one of the one of the coat pockets. Uh, all right. You continue, um- That's the one nice thing he owns ... through the factory district. Yeah, which he just ripped off and threw aside. It's evening now, so the factory district is somewhat quiet. Most of the people are, like, going home.
You get a lot of odd looks because, you know, you're clearly coming from the ball, so there's a lot of, like, you know- Except for Jerry, who's back in his clothes. Yeah. You know. Um- Matress is just like, "Would they go along with me?"
Past the current factories, you see a lot of, like, development happening. And then past that, there's areas that have been, like, cleared for further development, but there's not much out there yet. It looks like there were some, like, larger houses that were, you know, sold or something, and there's, like, frames left and stuff, but m- [01:08:00] not much.
Um, you see a little lake. Um, and I guess you can just sort of, like, we can cut past you sort of meandering around. Um, you find your way to what you believe from, like, what you've heard and what you've asked is the place. There's a now falling over fence that looks like there used to be a house here.
There's not anymore. Kind of just on the very edge of where the newer factories start and where they will be in the future. Um, and under a tree by the lake, there is a couple of, um, headstones with, like, matching last names. You can tell this was, like, you know, a rich or not noble, but, like, well-to-do family's, like, home, and they had a couple family members buried.
You notice the name of the former king is on, like, a headstone ready [01:09:00] to go, but it was never finished as if he was, you know, buried elsewhere. Next to the brother, who was in fact buried here, um, you would know that Queen Clothar's uncle died when both of you were very young, like children children. Um, and as she kind of expected, it's all very overgrown.
The soot from the factories has kind of dirtied them up real bad. You can just barely make out those names. Um, there's, like, the dried out carcasses of flowers that were once there that are long since, you know, gone bad. Um, so it's definitely been a while since she could get up here to, like, tend to these
I just start pulling out random stuff out of my bag- Mm-hmm ... like, uh, some very dull shears, a few rags. I got it. Is there a... There's a lake right there- Mm-hmm ... too, so there's, like, water and stuff you could use to clean the- I, I just do like- It's not the cleanest lake anymore. Oh, no. But it- The nearest lake ... it could cl- it could [01:10:00] clean.
Okay. I, I just like- Water's warm ... grab it and do, like, kind of a controlled burn and, like, just set the things on it on fire. The soot? Yeah. It gets a shade darker. And the, and the greenery. Yeah. Like, the overgrowth. Like, the weeds... There's now a small fire around the thing because there's a lot of dead brush.
And it's just like smoldering. Well, this one's great. Now the rest of them. Who hurt you? It starts spreading. Yeah. You've seen them with your eyeballs now. That's fair. Jerry's just watching as these flames spread. He's just like- I'm gonna go get water. Yeah, you can put it out. I give you, like- It's not gonna-
the eight jars that I had from last episode. Yes, all the jars. Fine, I... Here. And I, I, I take out the thing of clown juice and I begin spraying it. It just gets worse. You ever seen the, the effects weed killer has in weed killer ads? Yeah. Where it's like Like, the plant literally, like, curling and going like, "Ah!"
Right? Like, it, it, it... The plants around it begin to make that noise as it gets sprayed with clown juice. [01:11:00] Oh, my God. You drink that. This? Yes. No, I, I drink this. And I pull out a matching bottle- ... with the exact same thing on it. This one's gone bad. He gave me this one. This is new. No, he definitely gave you fresh clown juice.
Yeah, no, this one's bad. This is mine I'm st- I'm still gonna get water. You had some rags and stuff? Yeah. Okay, for- Oh, I'm out and I throw out and the glass shatters, and it makes like a skull out of the smoke. Let's wash that off before it contaminates any of the local wildlife beyond this. Well, if it already is.
Yes. There. Um, yeah, you're not seeing a ton of wildlife. Um-
Can Jerry look around and see if there's anything that may present danger? We're kind of in the middle of nowhere among some graves Yeah, you can make a check What would that be? Insight plus, [01:12:00] I don't know, insight again, willpower Uh, I'll do double insight All right Kendall just sits on one of the gravestones while you guys- I rolled a five Um- That's nothing
you're convinced there's something. Oh, okay. So you just start, like, stabbing the lake, you know, staring at it. I just have, I just have my hand on my pistol. Start, like, shooting at fish. Um- Something's here, I just don't know what You think something's everywhere, bud. No, I, I'm pretty sure something's here.
If you're here, show yourself. I sneak up- Jerry just looks insane ... I sneak up behind him. Boo. Ah. Worth it. I wanna use my fabula point to just pull, like, a really pretty bouquet out of my bag. Oh, yeah, sure. Oh, I was gonna do that. Aw, yeah, you place it down. Where's Squid keeping that? Exactly. Um, Jerry's shrieking and hollering attracts, like, a random old man that says, "What's all that [01:13:00] shouting?"
Sorry for, uh, disturbing you, sir. We're cleaning these graves on behalf of the queen. Oh. Z- mom, z- grandma. Mom's mom. Well, you might wanna tell her they're planning to bulldoze this area soon. I've been fighting them over there. And he points to, like, a very small little house he has right on the lake. Oh, no.
Yeah, something about another new factory. Whose new factory? Well, hmm. He does a little, like, old man face thinking. Something- I'm gonna look even more under. Oh ... engine parts. Coal power engine parts. Oh, steam hearts
There's been a lot of demand. The other kingdoms, yeah. No good for us. He does, like, a very pointed, like, cough. I f- I can see that. You need, like, a handkerchief? No. [01:14:00] You sure? Here, hold on. Hold still.
You know, I think I got over it. No, thank you. I did all that work. The least you could do is take it. I'm all set. What are they gonna do with the graves? Same thing they did with everything else. Put it in the back of a cart and take it somewhere Oh I mean, you know, it's the queen's family. Yeah. You can probably arrange to get him put in the royal cemetery, but
When you say everything else, like, mo- ju- just people's houses or like Houses, graves, whatever we have back here, you know
Okay. Jerry's just, like, staring daggers at Kendall. What are you looking at me like that for? 'Cause I know you're gonna say no to [01:15:00] going back and figuring this out. No, I'm gonna say yes. I'm just giving myself a minute. I know what the problem is There's nothing to figure out. I know whose factory it is
Blue factory Mine Yeah, I kind of gathered that Yeah, I mean, it makes sense
I can't confront her. Hmm. Let's just- Are you- Let's go talk to the queen first. Queen first ... are you in fact- Or Grandma first ... heir to your family's fortune? If you were alive
I was alive, then yes. Well- Well... Yes? If your mother just so happened to accidentally- Uh, not have a chance to ever see you again, but you suddenly reappeared, I'm, I'm [01:16:00] just saying. I'm not doing that, Jerry. Well, why don't you? You had to. He's just kidding. Yep. Am I? Kidding. Are you walking back to the castle?
Let's just go talk to the queen. And have we cleaned it well? I mean, it- The grave is, it's beautiful. It's sparkling. It's cleaned. Gorgeous. It's polished and everything. It's like that, it's like that one lady on TikTok with all the, like, very, very destructive chemicals on people's graves. The pink goo? Yes.
Like, all done. In the middle, like- Have you and like- I wonder whose grave this was. And whose grave will it be next? All right. So while our group heads back, I think that is an excellent time to take our break. Uh, we'll be back shortly. Uh, don't go anywhere. We'll see you in, like, five, 10 minutes. I would like to go somewhere.
Stay tuned.[01:17:00] [01:18:00] [01:19:00] [01:20:00] [01:21:00] [01:22:00] [01:23:00] [01:24:00] [01:25:00]
off. You guys had been sent on your mission by, uh, Lady Iris to clean her deceased son, not the king, the other one's grave. Okay. Um, which you did. You learned a little about why she couldn't do it herself, [01:26:00] and now you are back, having completed the mission. Um, how are you going to get back into the castle?
Are you just going through the front, trying it again? Just walk. I think we can probably just go through the front
door. Just walk through the front door. Right. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I think- Through the guard. I just go like, "What are you gonna do, stop me? Like, you-" You look like a little more like guests. Uh, they kinda just let you in. Yeah, 'cause you guys are still in your party outfits, aren't you? Yeah. Oh, I'm still a clown.
Oh, that's right. You're back to clown. You're still in your party outfits. Of course. Mm-hmm. 'Cause we look amazing. Yeah, you guys look so good. You do. We look great. They give us any trouble, it's just like- Are you gonna put back on your duds? Why, I never. Oh, yeah, no. When everyone's like... And they look back to Jerry for a second, and Jerry's suddenly back in the tux.
We saw you rip that. They don't know where he got- They're like, "Jerry, you gotta put it back on." We go, "Oh, um." He's already in it, the top hat's on. It's like a quantum particle. Schrödinger's tux. Yeah. You reenter the castle- Schrödinger's mouse. Sorry. It's okay. It is either [01:27:00] not wearing the tux or wearing the duds when you've abandoned it-
out of sight. Um, you all enter back in your duds. Um, are you still clowning out? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Um, you come back in. Um, Lady Iris is right where you left her. The queen is, uh, dancing with some other random noble from some other kingdom. Um- Is he ugly? Like, how ugly? Uh, let's see. What kingdom is he from?
Let's roll a D10 to- Yes ... rank him. A six. Mm. Not a Candle. Doesn't hold a
Candle. Oh. Tick. Put it on a shirt. God, no. Um- All right. If you wanna see that on a shirt, three million likes. Is that all? Or they could just subscribe. Or you could subscribe. Or if you subscribe, that will also go on a shirt. Subscriptions. Uh- Get us to 500 subscribers. Woo! For 500 [01:28:00] subscribers- I'll make another shirt
we'll make another. We'll kill Tara. We'll kill Tara again. No. No. We'll kill Candle and make a shirt out of... Wait, um. Out of their flesh. Oh, God. Out of fresh clown? That's fantastic. That's a great material. Clown is a great material. Oh, yeah. It's a perfect insulator. It's such a stretchy material. You really should thrift your clown secondhand.
Yes. Um, anyway. It's amoral here. It's hard to go 100% vegan. Clown flesh is in everything. You are back in the ballroom. Wonderful. Another deep bow to Lady Iris, and- Top hat tip ... um, we have visited the grave of Bert, king's uncle. And we have cleaned them thoroughly We did it But it appears that their graves will be moved Well, that can't be right.
Uh- There's a factory going up by the steam hearts. I begin whistling and I turn my back. I [01:29:00] see. Well, I will have to discuss this with Clethra and Hestia. Thank you for letting me know. Of course. These factories- I don't know that they're the right way forward They're a terrible way forward. We've seen their side effects.
My apologies for speaking out of turn. No, it's good to hear you say that, Kendall. But I'm not the person who needs to hear that. I tried to tell her. She didn't listen to me. I don't know why. You don't know- Hmm. What? No. No? G- You don't know why. I don't know why. I, I, I feel like it's not that big a stretch, right?
You guys have thought I've been dead, right? Some of us, yes. And I get it. I come back like a ... I refuse to believe you knew this this whole time. Nobles run away every day, Candle. [01:30:00] You're not the first young individual to seek- Clown? Did you run away, ma'am? Well, obviously not. Well, you seem sharp as a tack, ma'am.
Well, the clown, th- that's your- Stop serving with the clown ... path forward, such as it is. But no, maybe being a noble isn't for you, and that's fine. That's not what I'm saying. That wasn't exactly the problem, but look, a point is, I tried to talk to Clothora. I said to her that this is a waste. This does nothing.
You're right. The factories, the, the, the things I helped build are hurting people, and instead of putting her foot down or making some statement or anything like that, right- And what about you? What about me? I'm out there [01:31:00] cleaning up the mess. They've seen it, right? The coral is bleached in the Ocean Kingdom.
It's bleaching because of what we're doing. You've seen it, right? You've seen the effects in your home. And I'm out there getting my hands dirty, and meanwhile, she's out here throwing this. W- Is this cake, i- is, is this cake gonna restore the ecosystem down there? Is it gonna replace the pounds of fish that we've hauled up to feed the new factories?
Is running around avoiding what your family has done so that you can clean up the same corals any better? Did you have power?
You looked at those ships and you knew those ships when we were out th- at the coral reefs. You knew them
And you know what they're doing to people, to my people
That's why [01:32:00] I want- Ugh. I... Don't, please. I-
Are you all right? No, I'm fine. Can I go up and get a drink?
Okay then
If you are as sharp as Squid says you are, then go ahead. What should I be doing?
Seems like you do, right?
If I knew, I would tell you. But what I can tell you is I don't know that what you're doing is the right way, and I don't think you get to say that what Klytha is doing is the wrong way either. But I don't think either of you have it figured out So what? Your plan is to use your saisly wisdom to criticize our decisions and then watch as the world goes to [01:33:00] hell?
No. My plan is to give you this moment of goodwill and hope that you and your friends can continue to forge your own path forward. I'm not saying what you're doing is wrong. I'm saying I don't know that you've got it all figured out, and I don't think you get to claim that others do. I hope you do figure it out, Candle And she's going to sort of turn away to focus on her magic so she can brew you up an egg.
I thought the party was lovely. These drinks are really good. The chicken was good. Huh. Uh, very sidebar, have you ever seen a pirate, uh, clown ship with a cat man? I- Does that ring any bells at all? Not many, no. That's, it's... They were driving an airship, and they stole our moment with- She's gonna [01:34:00] kind of like, whoa, as she focuses on- Sorry
you know, she says her little runes, and you see again this sort of light form between her fingers as she sort of plucks at these little magical threads, and it all coalesces to form, like, a very standard little, like, little chicken egg kind of thing. Hmm. Um. Seems really basic compared to the last one.
She put it in your bag, though. I put it in another, like, little egg case, and then put it in my bag. She's got, like, a carton of 12. Yeah. This one is- You put it in a little egg crate. I hope, as she's handing it to you, that your journey leads you in the right direction.
Mm-hmm. Hmm. Fine. Like, as, as Candle says that, their hair, like, kind of like Hades from Disney, like, it, it, their, their hair, like, [01:35:00] flares for a second
We can go talk to my mom. Ooh. I'll go talk to my mom. Again. You're right. Um, everyone roll me a dex plus insight control. Oh. Great montage. She shoots you with a real gun. A real gun. Oh, man. There are real guns. Dex plus insight? That would be a 15. You said dex plus insight, so that's 10. That's an eight.
Mm-hmm. I rolled a one. Wait, no. That's an 11. Oh, thank goodness. Okay. I got a nine. Um, so Candle, you would hear kind of underneath the music, the sound of a loud engine- Mm ... above. Sort of the chhh. Um, and with your knowledge of engines of [01:36:00] this type, um, it sounds like there's some sort of airship very close above.
And as you are sort of processing this, there is a as the whole, like, side wall of the castle gets exploded. Oh. Oh, dang. Can I, can I immediately rip the egg out of your hands and just... Or no, you should hold onto that. You're bigger than I am. Yes. I, like, I, like, clutch, hold. I like, I like step in front of you.
And I just Is this a villain entrance? Well, well. I take my s- Whoa. Whoa. It is spirit. Um, and- No. You hear- Sing of these clowns in this castle. Uh, you hear loud laughter as [01:37:00] basically rappelling down the wall on ropes come these two clownish looking individuals. They look quite similar. Um, they've got pinkish hair, uh, these big smiling faces.
Um, but as they get closer you realize they've got these, like, ball jointed arms. Um, they're wearing bright colors, very clownish outfits. Um, and they kinda do, like, you know, little clown, like, back flips and somersaults and jumps and contortions over to you guys. Hi. We're here for... Oh, yeah, we're here for that.
You turds look like dorks. Jerry has his gun pointed at them. Takes one to know one. All right. Do we wanna roll an initiative? Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. It seems like we're about to start blasting immediately. Is either of them the important cat? I always forget which one. No, they're both just like- Um. Okay ... they look like twin clowns.
Same, I think we just always- Dex plus insight- Yeah, but for this, right? You need to pick a group leader. Oh. Who's your- A group leader? I, I, okay. [01:38:00] Dex plus insight, yeah. You're all Candle supporters. I rolled a six. Well, you're not supporting them. Five. Oh, but, but dex plus insight, so seven. 11. Yay. Uh, that's a six.
We both rolled a six. I rolled a seven. Um, all right, so for the first time, it is not you guys going first in an initiative. Oh, yay. It is our clown friends. Oh, no. A villain made an entrance. Gain points. We gain points if the villain makes an entrance? Ooh. Ooh, okay. Is that true? Uh, this- Is that a villain?
This is not the main villain, but I don't think we did last time, so. Okay. You can take a point for that. Yay. You read the rules. Uh, they're on the sheet. I'm just staring at them. Good job, Boo Boo. All right. Oh, you're right, it is right there. Yeah. Boo Boo. Villain entrance fumbles at the start, and if you surrender at zero HP.
Surrender? There is no surrender, only death.
I might surrender. Only death. That is a character choice. Um. Wait, what's that say? [01:39:00] The- One ... the girl clown. Ooh. Oh, there's a girl clown. Is she cute? Uh, I mean, in the, like, scary clown, ball-jointed- There we go ... construct way, yeah. Yeah, you haven't unsold me on this. I know. No, I mean, like, compared to that, absolutely.
Um, she is going to do this sort of, like... She's gonna do a clown trick. Ooh. Oh, no. Uh, she's gonna... Oh, what's she gonna do? She's gonna have one of those little flowers on her, um, outfit, and she's gonna give it a little squish, and there's this big spray of colors. Ooh. Um, I'm gonna need... Oh, no, this just happens.
Um- Oh ... all of you suffer from the shaken condition- Ooh ... which will reduce your- Willpower ... I wrote this down this time. Willpower. I'm already at my weakest- By one die ... so I'm already at a D6, so. Oh, that's important. I need that to cast. Oh. Well, I'll, I'll go first to heal. Right, 'cause we can only go as low as a D6, right?[01:40:00]
Uh, yes. Yeah. Gotcha. Ooh. I will try to heal at least.
All right, uh, that is gonna be her turn. So you guys can pick someone to go. I can try to remove the status token. If you want to do that, you may Yeah. I'm ready to use an attack as well on this. Can you explain the rules of summoning my companion quickly? Yeah. I'm gonna spend 20 MP to roll two dice. All right.
Are we gambling? I got an eight. Yes, all right. Cool. Um, who doesn't care about willpower? Oh, you don't, so the three of us, um, have now been... And if you lost any HP, which we haven't, but. Unshaken? Unshaken. Unshook.
All right. So yeah, just start- Shaking it up ... moving my staff around and everyone feels a little better, [01:41:00] except you. All right. Yeah, 'cause I'm just how I am. Um, I can go. Um- Or does that okay? I don't know ... the, the boy clown is gonna go next. Oh, the boy clown. Is, is he cute? I mean, he looks basically like the girl clown.
So they're androgynous clowns. Ooh. They're stealing my whole bit. They're androgynous ball jointed clowns, which implies they're part doll. Ooh. Ooh. Specifically in the arms. Arms. Arms. Up grade. Arms. In the face.
D8. Where are my D8 only one? Would you like to borrow a D8? No, it's okay. I've got a bunch. I got this. Um- I believe in you, DM. I did it. Whoo. Um, yay. A
Um, ooh, I didn't decide who I'm
gonna take the label for that. Candle- Um, [01:42:00] does an 11 hit you with a regular defense? No, it does not. Oh, all right. Sheer courage. Whoa. I can't believe it. Um, that is gonna be- God, I took that plus one on my defense, too. That's gonna be his turn. Uh, all right, Squid, did you wanna go next? Uh, sure. I will use my faithful companion, Wubbles.
Wubbles. Aw. Um, and they'll go and try and mellow lick the- Ooh ... nearest clown. Yeah. Oof. That's dex plus might, and that's a 12. Ooh, that will hit. And the high roll was an eight, so eight plus 10. Uh, 18. What type of damage? Physical. All right, yeah. Blam. Love that. Pew. Steal some souls. Pew. I'm gonna do extremely basic math.
Uh, which clown was it? Oh, clown closest, easiest clown. Whichever it is. Uh, I'll say that- Oh ... uh, Andy's over [01:43:00] with clown, uh, Candle. So you hit Anne. I hit Anne. Oh, their names are Anne and Andy? They're both- Are they raggedy? No, actually. Not yet. Oh. No, no, no, no, no. Not at this stage. That is no longer the case.
All right, um, awesome. Who would like to go next? Can, uh, Jerry go next? Yes, Jerry may go next. Cool. Jerry is gonna spend 10 MP for barrage to make it a multi-attack. Ooh. Mm-hmm. So I've got 22 there. So I have to roll dex plus insight, which is a D10. Can I remember what my dice are? Yes. A D10 and a D8. And I get, uh, I also get, uh, a plus three to it because of my ranged weapon mastery, which we discussed earlier.
You did. So I rolled a nine, so it's gonna be 12. Uh, yeah, that will hit. Hit both of them? Um, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha. All right. Uh, and then the [01:44:00] damage is highest roll plus eight, so that's 16- All right ... to each of them. I'm sick of these clowns. And he looks over at Candle and is like, "Remember, I don't hate you 'cause you're a clown.
I hate them 'cause they're clowns." "But not you." Noice. That's very nice of you, Jerry. Um, all right, Candle. Um, I have an idea, but I haven't finished writing the note to sneak to you to ask the question for the surprise later. Oh, well, guess you're gonna have to wait till next turn. Uh, but for this turn, um- You know what?
Let's just
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. The question is, do we get a minute to rest in between this and, or and the potential next fight? 'Cause I don't wanna- Man ... burn through all my MP if there's another thing after this. Blow it. Plenty of MP. All right, sure. Uh, who's the damaged one? Anne. Uh, both of them right now. Ooh. Who's more damaged?[01:45:00]
Uh, Anne. All right. I'm gonna use Flare. Okay. All right, so that- Flare roll Flares Uh, ch- ch-
ch, D8 plus a D10. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. All right, D8 plus a D10 plus two. Uh, so that's an 11 plus 2. Uh, 11 plus 2 is 13. That will hit. Okay. Uh, and then that's, 8 is the high roll, so 25 plus 8, ignore any resistance. Okay. Huh? Woo. 33, gosh. Yeah, um, she is well into crisis. Good.
All right, uh, top of the order. Um, she's gonna try to kick you for that one. Ooh. Okay. Just, just kick? Yeah.[01:46:00]
I'm just imagining this ball joint-armed clown just like- Does a 13 hit you? ... just like trying to fly kick. Uh, regular defense. Yes. Yes. That does. Uh, you take 15 damage. Eh. Eh. All right, whatever. Fine. Okay, well, that's not... Eh, actually, I'm, I'm a little wrong there. Um, you're not- If you heal ... dazed or shaken anymore, right?
No. All right. Who's going next? Um, so has this clown just been doing like melee attacks, is what you're saying? Yeah, he's been just kicking people. Can't do anything with Shroud, then. Does anyone else have something they wanna do? I already went this round, so. No, this is a brand new round. Oh, we're in a brand new round now?
Mm-hmm. Was I just... Oh, okay. My bad. I mean, I guess- I'm saving my MP, so- I guess Jerry could go for another barrage. All right. Drop it down to 12 MP. I don't really use MP for anything besides barrage attacks. So let me roll this again, my dex plus my insight [01:47:00] I got a, I got a, I got a seven. No. Teacher, please take my note.
I got a seven. How badly does Jerry whiff this one? Uh, you do whiff this one on all accounts, on all fronts. Unless you use your point. Oh, wait. Yeah, I could use my favor- Oh, no. That's only for fumbles. Sorry. Is it? Wait. Yeah, yeah, it's only for a fumble. Did I... That doesn't count as a fumble, though- Yeah, it's double ones
'cause I didn't sneak eyes it. Yeah. You know? Well- Sorry ... this, Jerry just whiffs that. They're too close. Well, you could invoke, you could invoke a trait and then use it. I'm sorry. You can use it for a re-roll any time except a fumble. My bad. My bad. Is that what it is? Yeah. Yeah. I'm misleading you. Spend one after performing a check to invoke a trait, re-roll, one or both.
Okay. Invoke a bond or a trait, so. Mm-hmm. I don't know if that's a trait. I don't know. You get one when you fumble. Right. Yeah. Can I, can I use my favor the point to re-roll that? Yeah, why not? Okay. Come on. You say you, you hate candles so much, you shoot better. [01:48:00] You could invoke the vine. You could. I rolled...
This time we've got a 12. Two plus seven plus three. Yeah, that'll hit. All right. Uh, so that is gonna be, uh, I'm doing math in my head. 15 damage, seven plus eight. All right. Um, the girl clown is gonna fall apart into pieces on the ground. Oh. Oh, darling. Jerry just, Jerry just like blows smoke from his gun and then takes a look over at Andy and he's like...
Um, he doesn't love that. He really, he's really not a fan of that. 'Cause I just shot his sister to pieces. Totally, he's like, yeah. He's gonna come over and try to kick you. Kick me? Yeah. That is an 11 to hit. My defense is 11. I think that hits then. No. Um, are you still shaken? No, we were, shaking was taken off of all of us.
All of you? Okay. No, not you, sir. No, not you. Wait, it wasn't taken off of me? You were charging. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, actually I [01:49:00] lied. My bad. It was 12 anyway, so you- Can I get a second? No. Um, so you take 18 damage. 18? Yeah. Let me do that math. What a kick.
Do you like my handwriting, by the way? Or is it terrible? It's fine. I work with children mostly, so- 352 minutes. Oh, wow, that hurt a lot more. We said 18. 1852. That hurt a lot more than I think you intended. 1834. Yes. No, 36. No, 30... Wait, I can't do math. 34. 34, okay, I was right. Yeah. I can't do math. Yeah. All right, um- Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Who is next? I'd like to try and stab it, please. Okay. Is that what you were going for with that yeah? Yeah. Um, 14 plus one plus, uh, so 16. Right. Oh. 16? You took it on the head. Yeah. Yes, on the head. Sorry. And then- Got distracted by David dying ... then it's 20 damage. I'm living. Okay, uh, Andy is now in crisis.
And as I give a [01:50:00] stab, I
like hunch it back. All right. Um, who would like to go next? I suggest me. All right, Bubbles, take it away. I will take
that one. That's so useful. I'm going to clutch the egg with one arm and swing my staff with the other. Oh, no. I got an 18. Woo! Wow.
Yeah, that will hit That's gonna be- Great ... 16 damage. I'm gonna take a couple steps back. Passes to Jacob next. Feels like Model UN all over again.
So what happened? 16 damage. Oof. Okay, yeah. He's looking a little rough. Um- Two left ... Candle is left[01:51:00]
Yeah, go ahead. Um- Stop distracting the class with your note passing. It's to the teacher. The, I think that's a bigger problem. Could you, could you take that and read aloud to the class? Aaron smells really bad. I would like him to leave the table. Wow. Wow. What are you gonna say? Nothing. I can confirm that's what that says.
I got nothing. I'm just gonna let the bit rock.
'Cause sometimes it's... I'm sorry, Val also wrote down my time of death, um. I also know how to breathe properly without choking, so- How do you know that, actually? Don't know. I guess you'll find out. Who are you, Voldemort? We have to know everything about you. Will you take your turn, please? You're David. I, um, so, uh, I don't wanna use the big blast of bird through my MP again.
I'm just gonna I'm just gonna hit the dork with my staff. Okay. With a voice. Love it. I forget Candle has a staff sometimes. Uh, six plus eight. 14. [01:52:00] 14. 14. That will hit. And then it's an eight. And then it's a 14 damage. All right, uh- Physical ... Andy collapses into a pile on the ground of- What of it, loser? Bang.
Mm.
Mm. Mm. As you're, you know, Fortnite emoting- ... or whatever it is that you're doing over there. 'Cause the, like... They came down on ropes, right? Hm? They came down on, like, ropes? Are they still hanging? No. No? No. Oh, okay. They, like, walked up to us. Um- They weren't puppets ... yeah, they just, like, yeah. There were the ropes still there, but like- Just like weird mad dolphin boy
from the airship, you meant? Yeah, no, I'm trying to think if they, like, how they got here. Um. If we could use that to get back up. Hm. Well, as you're looking back up, you see another rope drop down, assuming- Oh, good ... you hear, like, some feverish shouting up there. You're like, "Clowns didn't work. [01:53:00] Clowns didn't work."
"Send the enforcements." Um- ... and you'll see, uh, jumping down out of the airship are three strong men. Mm. Um, they do a cool, like, pose. You know, one of... They have one of them in, like, a little mini pyramid, and they're all flexing. Dog good. They would not have beat your previous initiative, so I'm gonna say you guys have first up against, uh, these guys.
Does this count as a villain entrance? No, it does not count. This is all one villain entrance. Darn. I'm just imagining Jerry sitting there right now, 'cause he just got, like, kicked in his little mouse chest. He's like,
I got it. I pull an inhaler out of my bag. I'm good. You sure? Yeah. It's, it's your medicated one. I'm good.
Are you sure?
He actually inhale her, and Jerry is reinvigorated[01:54:00]
He's just like all buff again. Because somehow Candle knew he had asthma. Sick. It's full of aerosolized clown juice. Ugh. Ugh. All right, who's going first against the strong man?
Can I have my inhaler back? Oh, no, don't. Is that true story? It's a good thing I didn't actually press the button on that. Candle will go first. I had a moment where I almost did. I was like, "What the heck?" I, I kinda like look at them and I go like, "Just send the cat. This is such a waste." "No." They all like- You, hold on
they huddle and talk. They're like, "No." Before you continue I, are they like animals too, or are they just dudes? No, they're just big buff dudes. Yeah. They look all the same. I love it so much. Unrelated, though. Two Zenit for the first person who admits if there's more people coming u- down or not. Two Zenit, and I pull, I pull it out of my pocket.
They, they look at each other like, "Yeah, there's, there's, there's definitely more people." Eh, I know liars. Two Zen- I pull out a third Zenit. [01:55:00] Three Zenit. I'm like, I'm like holding them between my fingers. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Like that. This isn't me miscounting from one to three. I thought that was part of the bit.
That's exactly what we thought. I thought that was part of the bit. No, I'm just holding them like, like this. Ah, okay. Are you gonna do something, or are these men gonna attack you? Three whole- I, I, I, I... Hold on. I do one m- I go, "Three holes in it. Three holes in it if you're honest." You need to attack them now, or they're just gonna start punching you.
Hi
I just use my staff and I, I, I just, I wanna hit one right in the- Friendly face ... it's a family-friendly show. I can't hit, I can't say that. Just- Okay, yeah. Yeah, just right, bank. On his little tight muscle man tights. Yeah, I get you. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Look, girl. Uh- Did you- That's a nine A nine? Um, that will not hit. [01:56:00] Oh, dang.
Whoop. Um, all right. The first muscular man is going to go. Um-
Uh, ooh. Oh, critical failure. Ooh. Um, I don't know if- He trips over his own muscles. That's me all the time. I understand. I think that means that you guys get an opportunity. I'm gonna say that's how it works- Ooh ... 'cause that sounds cool. Okay. So let me pull up the opportunity page. Fumbles unfortunately. Um.
Who's at it? Who's at it? Uh, so you guys can get a plus four bonus to your next attack. Ooh. You can inflict them with a status effect. Um, you can make a compromising statement or have them make [01:57:00] a compromising statement. I- Can they answer my question? You can do that if you want. Is that- Can we have them answer my question?
Oh. I guess. I'd love a plus four, though. I was gonna make a really compromising statement. You- Well, that's, now you get a plus four. Yes. Oh, that's right. You, you can just say that if you want. That's right. Uh, you can discover a vulnerability or a trait. Ooh. Um- That, the, answering the question would be a vulnerability.
It would be. A literal vulnerability. Like, if she has- Oh ... a weakness to a certain- Allergic to peanuts. Yes, exactly. So would that- Like a- Candle pulls out circus peanuts. But they're like the really- So would they- ... terrifying ones ... I mean, if they, if they say something compromising, that is... I ask them something pretty compromising
Oh, I thought you said we say something rude to them. So you thought it was like, they fail and then- So you're like... And then now, now they're- Like, I just mean that- I was their boy through them. I peed my pants until I was eight. No, no, no, no, no. No, like I just say something mean to [01:58:00] them. That's what I thought it was for some reason.
You can do that for free. You can do that for free all the time. All right, so what do we wanna do? I was this woman with pigtails. We can inflict weak if we think they're, um, like might based. I think we should f- I enjoy that. I think that's pretty good. I enjoy the weaker or the plus four. Yeah. Because then we definitely hit them.
Uh, I would- We'll probably definitely hit them. Hey guys, if we poison them, doesn't that do both? It does, but I don't know that we're allowed to do that. Can we poison them? Is that a- Is that a status effect? It is, technically. That's a status effect. Well, I... Attributes and status effects, yeah. Poisoned is a status effect.
Poisoned is a status effect that, that affects both might and willpower. And they're probably might based. I don't know how this would lead to them being poisoned. If you can give me a reason that would happen. They're allergic to pee. They cut their hands on the broken parts of their allies. Uh, they were- And got tetanus immediately.
They were getting ready to attack and Candle just clown juice sprayed to them. I, I, I, I took the flower. I have a flower and it's clown juice. Okay. Sorry. Uh, the first one is now poisoned from clown juice. His [01:59:00] might and what was it? Victory for Candle. And willpower. Might and willpower, okay. Go down. Yes.
Great. This is, this is my favorite episode. Great. Um, all right. It's finally one of your turns. Woo. Candle is gone, but nobody else has. I'll try and do a mellow lick with, um, with Bubbles. I hate this. Okay. He's actually severely allergic to mellow slimes. Perfect. It's a problem. Let's go. That's, uh, seven plus a four, so that's 11.
And it's... That just decks plus might to, uh, so it's plus one. Or I, I don't know, it's might. I don't know. Yeah, that sounds good. Just gonna imagine. Um, sure. We'll just say it uses your might. Sure. Um, how much damage is that? Um, high roll is seven, so 17. Uh, and which one was that for? Um, let's go with the already poisoned one.
Okay. Let's just really nail on him. Yeah, he's having a great day. No. He's, he's wet from many things now.
It's unfortunate. [02:00:00] Um, all right. Number two is gonna go. Um... Spend my time standing there sadly. All wet. Boys, I don't wanna be here anymore. He's gonna try to make friends. Uh, that's a seven. Nope. All right, that misses. Next up. Uh, Gery can go. It's him. Yeah, Gery's gonna pull out that lovely revolver of his.
He's gonna take aim at the poison boy. The poison boy, yep. And we're gonna roll a dex and insight once again. I got a... What is that? 15 plus- Mm-hmm ... 3, so I got an 18. Yeah, that'll hit. All right. Uh, so my, my highest roll was a nine, so that's gonna be, uh, 17 damage. Oof, okay. Woo. I'm gonna shoot him in his muscles.
He is now in crisis. Woo. Um, great. He's not having a great day. The third one is gonna go. Maybe one of them. Mm-hmm. Uh, he's gonna try to hit [02:01:00] Gery, I guess- I just- ... just keeping with the pattern ... I just imagine he's like, "Why is everyone attacking me?" Oh, that's definitely gonna miss. All right. Um, Bubbles. I'm gonna hit the one that's in crisis with my staff.
Okay. Just really just wailing on this one guy as he's, like, having an allergic reaction on the ground. 15. Oh, yeah. That'll hit. I just imagined- 15 damage. Woo. Okay. ... people hitting a guy and he has an allergic shock.
And he's just on the ground just kicking. In front of his friends. So embarrassing. And they're just like, "What do we do?" Dude, I...
Candle's ex is just over there like- Oh, they're gone ... oh, my, okay. Thank goodness. Everybody ran, or- Well, come on. Yeah. It's a big group. I, I like to imagine she's, like, peeing her head and like, "Candle and everybody else just, like, in a group kicking this one guy." Uh- Yeah, stay on the ground. Stay on- I can't breathe.
Does a 10 hit you, Candle? No. Dang, all right. He misses. [02:02:00] Is he a dead ringer? No. Not since I was a kid. Uh, who's up? Who's, who's left? Everyone. Oh, everyone. It's a new turn. Uh- I'ma just, I'ma... You're gonna kick him again. And there's, there's how many guys? There's three guys? Yes. There's three guys. Two and a half now.
Okay, hold on. Let's see what I got.
Um, I'm trying to remember. How much does-
Okay. Hmm.
Yeah, okay. I'll, I'll... You know what? I'm going to... Oh, geez. Where'd my dice go? Oh, there they go. I'm, I'm gonna hit them all with my magic flare attack. Ooh. Well, not flare. Ignis.[02:03:00]
That is a nine plus two, 11. Uh- Magic ... magic? Yes. Yes, that will hit. Okay. Uh, that is a seven plus 15, 23 fire damage and they are all shaken. Ooh. Oh gosh. Not stirred, baby. Sure. So, uh, so one having an allergy attack is dead. Noice. Is now a burnt- Like, dead but like- ... allergic corpse. Oh, God. It says opportunity targets take shaken.
Does that mean only one or does that mean all? That means all, right? Opportunity targets? There was one- No, it's got like free attacks on them ... hold on, let me see. Yeah. Uh- Opportunity is specifically like when something positive happens and gets people- Okay. So then they might not all be shaken, but we'll see.
Yeah. It says, "Opportunity, each target hit by this spell suffers shaken." That's an extra opportunity you could get, so like if you did a crit success. Okay. Mm. So then no, they are not all shaken. My mistake. All right. So they are not. [02:04:00] Um, okay. The second one is gonna go for Kendall 'cause, like, Kendall's out here killing people.
I, I just, I just point as he's running at me and I go like, "You wanna be a victim too?" Nice. Come on. That's a five. Oh, no. You dork. Good crit. These are like the toughest things you've fought yet and they just cannot get anything in. Yeah. It's really sad. They're too burly to hit us. They can't move, see past all those muscles.
Um, all right. They look down and they can't see anything. Uh, who's left? I'll, I'll try. All right. Try my hand at it. It's not the guy who just like failed. So go for a melee attack. Let's keep kicking them while they're down. It's not the guy who failed. That's, uh, no, 11. 11. Yeah, that'll hit. Okay. And it says for Bladestorm, when I make a melee attack you may spend 10 mind points to choose one option, the attack gains multi- Ooh
or you increase the attack's multi property by one. So I'm going, uh, [02:05:00] multi two, so I'm gonna attack both of them- All right ... for this. For 17. 17 damage? Yes. All right. They are now in crisis. Blah, blah. Ah. Uh, the third one is gonna go.
That is a nine to hit. Does that hit either Squid or Candle? Uh- A nine hits me ... is it just regular defense? Yes. Uh, no. Okay. Uh, so he has now unlocked his multi ability. Oh, no. I'm like a 1950s animated robot's body. It's like, whoo. Oh, shoot. Actually, it's a, a 14. I haven't been adding his bonus. Oh, then yes, that does hit me.
Oops. He's in low. Uh, cool. You both take 18 physical damage. Oh. Ooh. Do you just hit on odd number attacks? No. I know, he's, I know he's hitting like- No, just even number attacks ... freight trains in this game. Yeah. I think even he was rolling so bad before, that wouldn't have even helped him, but he does have that.
Oh, God. Yeah, that's why you have, like, a decently high HP. Decently high? [02:06:00] Yeah. Holy shit. But Jerry's a little weak. Yeah, mine's only like- Uh, Jerry or Bubbles? Uh, Jerry will go. All right. Um, I'm just gonna... Who was the one that just did the multi attack? The third one. Then he's gonna- Well, now the second.
Sorry ... he's gonna go after that one. Okay. Jerry's gonna go for that strong man. With a...
That's a 15 to, uh... So that's 18. Yeah, that'll hit. Okay. So you said you have a heal, right? So my highest was 10. Did you need it? So that's gonna be 18 damage. I've got a four. All right. Oh, okay. Which- Uh, it was the one who did the multi attacks just now. All right. He's not looking too good. Um-
Bubbles Yeah, Muscles can't protect you from bullets. Uh, take aim, oh. Oh, boy. Spending 20 MP. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, that's a 10. That's 11. Well, I, well, only have to pick one. Oh, right, semi die. All right. Well, sorry, no heals. I'm just gonna do damage instead. Um- Dang To usher them. I'm gonna look at [02:07:00] the ship. Can I see anybody on there?
Not really. Darn. It's very, like... It's, like, out the wall, so you can only vaguely see the corner of it. You'd have to, like... Yeah, you'd really have to, like, spend the time to go peer out the window. Is a 10 just, like, death instantly from that ? It's just damage. Um, they both take 30 fire damage. Oh. Yeah, they both die.
They all die. Like, Jerry, Jerry looks horrified 'cause Bubbles has not really killed a thing. But all of a sudden just, like, blah. Just roasted two people alive. Campbell's been out here, like, flinging fire spells, and, like, they just get up from getting the worst hit in their life and watch them both flagrate, like, just whoosh.
What does that look like? So I think it's like Bubbles will take the staff and kind of hit it onto the floor, and you kind of see this wave of, like, like, fiery red go underneath everyone, but it doesn't affect anyone till it hits the clowns and it's just beams of fire. The strongmen, they're now roasting pieces of Muscle.
The gamble paid off. The reason why I asked if I [02:08:00] could see anybody else, it's any number of creatures. Imagine Bubbles just seeing an army running towards him. You could have killed this entire party. And they just- Terrifying ... burned everyone. Oh, my God. You could kill, like, every single per- any, every single noble in this kingdom.
Oh, yeah, for sure. Is anyone else extremely horrified of the penguin in our group now? Uh, as you guys are- I chose the chaos class for a reason ... recovering- Why can't you do that? ... from what has occurred, you hear the engine of the airship kick back in as they are clearly making an escape. No, no, Jerry's gonna do what he did last time-
and he's gonna look out that hole in the wall and he's gonna take aim at this airship again. Uh- Are there ropes? There's ropes, right- There's ropes ... from the strongmen. No, they pulled them up. Oh, they pulled them up. They pulled them up? Yeah. Yeah. They pulled them up. How high, high up is this, this ship? Like, a good two, three stories.
Two, three stories. Jerry's gonna take aim at this ship again. Okay. It's gonna be a very high roll because they are- Okay ... shooting out of... Oh, I, I didn't roll both. I didn't roll both. It fell. It's fine. Okay. I got [02:09:00] 13. That is not gonna hit. No. Or it will hit, but it's gonna hit, like, the bottom hole of the thing, which is not really significant enough to make the airship go down.
No one can fly that thing? No. I
mean, I've, we've, we... I mean, we all, we have ritual, but I, we can't do a ritual fast enough to catch up to... Well, I think we should butt sails. I have my airship. You do. And once we... And we're docked close. The room is now empty, uh, except for a few very alarmed guards who are kind of just standing at the ready- I, I point
looking confused. I point. Do you have an airship nearby? Well, I, uh- Give it. It's, uh- We're commandeering your airship. You can't... W- w- w- we could hit... Um. I can drive anything. Hey. I wanna cast a ritual to stop time on the airship specifically. Ooh. Oh. Ooh. Um, all right. Let's take a look at the ritual page. I have entropy rituals now, [02:10:00] so.
Let's do a ritual. I just imagine after those guys are, like, their body's toasting on the ground, Gery just walks over and flexes on them. Oh my God. You thought. Real quick. How many inventory points do we all have? I have eight. Six. Okay. But spending them. But you don't. I have eight. Do you, do you, I don't know if you mind spending three and giving me a potion?
Not at all. I am at four. Oh. Don't worry. Here you go. I have one. How much do potions heal? Uh, oh, let me see. Uh, this is definitely a major ritual. I've spent three- So- ... and I give it to you ... uh, affecting, one of the examples for large is an airship. Huh. So that would cost 120 MP. Oh, gosh. Okay. Oh, gosh. Do you have that much?
I, I only have a max of 72. Oh. Oh. Can, can we... We can, by the way, we can do things like take potions right now, right? Yeah, if you have the inventory points. Okay. Uh, I'm gonna do that, and then since you gave me the healing, I can use the rest of my inventory points to get my mana back [02:11:00] since I have, like, none.
Um, okay. I like the idea that, like, Bubbles will just point at the ship, and you'll see time around it kind of, like, start to morph and change. And, like, for, like, a second it looks like they slow down, and then nothing. Um, okay. Okay. If you were just gonna go jack an airship, you would know about, like, there's probably something, like, out back, like, parked there.
Yeah, run out back. I just, I run. Okay. Yeah. Uh, there's a couple of very standard issue military airships out here meant to hold probably only a few people. You know, like- It's gonna be a little more chaos ... maybe about the size of our table. Yeah. Very, like, s- I can drive it. Go. Let's go. Get in. Does anybody, does anybody, like, stop us or?
I mean, they're not thrilled. They're kind of running after you, yeah. We have motive goodwill.
I, how much of a problem is this gonna be? We'll bring it back. To steal [02:12:00] this, or is it like- We have the moment of goodwill. It doesn't really matter anymore. It doesn't matter if we have the moment of goodwill if we can't come back and do- That's true ... the rest of what- We'll give it back. That's true. It's, I mean- Where is- No one's stopping us
Doris? Don't, I don't know where, I remember where we parked her. We could just bring it to... I, I don't wanna lose time, though. I feel like we're gonna lose time if we go for Doris, right? Yeah. It's already, it's already- We're going for this, we're going for this military airship. Yeah. This feels frowned upon, but no one's stopping us- Okay.
Okay ... so it doesn't feel like we're doing, like- Do you guys- They're trying. Do you guys think this is, like, an emergency to the level of, like, having a character moment would be justified? Probably, yeah. Yes. All right. I, I look back at them and I go, I go, "You all shut your ears. As the child of the Second Hand, or as the Second Hand of the Queen, Phoenix Steamheart, I'm taking this airship."
Oh, wait. Were we the guys? Yes. Yeah. They're all like... And I do this
Um, um, o- okay. That's what I thought. And I, I immediately rush onto the ladder. [02:13:00] Jerry did not cover his ears. He heard all that. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if you- But a little bit after you said all that, 'cause well, they realized afterwards I, I- Like, you're... I was like, "Oh, me." Let's go. All right, yeah, you all climb up onto this airship.
Um, I assume Squid is driving- I am ... 'cause Squid is the one that knows how to drive an airship. It's my identity. Floor it, fish man. I drink an elixir. Unnecessary. How many inventory points is an elixir? That's, uh- Three. I'm going fast. Gotcha. I'm gonna spend three for- It's, it's three for both an elixir and a, um- Can we take a- And they restore how much again?
Uh- 50 ... I need to write them down. Okay. Both elixirs and remedies cost three each, and they both restore 50 health. Okay, gotcha. Just making sure. I'm gonna write that down on here. Mm-hmm. You're so squishy. Hey. I floor it. It says in my little, like, character building worksheet, it says, "Physical build, twink."
That is the exact words I put here. Don't generalize twinks. Not every twink is squishy. Every twink looks like the Once-Ler. Candle looks like the Once-Ler. All [02:14:00] right, continuing on. You have loaded onto the airship. You're moving forward- Yes ... full speed ahead. Uh, this thing is hundreds of feet, like, a fleck ahead of you.
You're kind of following the trail of black smoke- Okay ... spewing out of this thing. Um, yeah. Perfect. You're hurrying along. Um, your ship is a little faster because it is built to be faster, so you are kind of gaining on them. Are there any armaments on this military airship? Yeah, there's like a, there's a couple basic cannons on the bottom.
Yay. Can Jerry use one of the cannons? Uh, sure. You can do your normal range weapon attack.
Get you as close as you can ... seven and then, uh, so that's 10. That is not gonna hit in this far range combat. Ah. We'll get closer. We'll get closer. Don't w- waste all the shots yet. Every missed shot just makes Jerry angrier. [02:15:00] He's shaking with rage. He is. His little- Just rambling ... his little mouse body is. I imagine he's doing the things that, like, Muppets do whenever they're- Yeah
whenever they're angry.
They're like, "Ah!"
This large, like, balloon comes sort of, puffs out of a cannon out of this thing and floats, and then strikes your airship and just, explodes a good chunk of the front. Ugh. What was it? It's like a balloon. Just a balloon? Oh. All right. Like, in, like, yeah, just this brightly colored smoke, um- Well- ... smells vaguely of cotton candy.
Okay. Could I have, like, tried to, like, blow it out the way? Don't know. Maybe now that you've seen it, if they... Yeah. Mm. Oh, God. Um- Jerry's disgusted by this smoke ... are we slow or are we just- You're s- Are we fine? It's definitely getting harder to steer. All right. If you take another hit like this again, you're definitely going down.
How close are we? [02:16:00] I'd say, like, uh, 100 yards away. Oh, we're a whole football field behind them. I th- We could gain a little bit. And we have a lift to lazily to the... Watch this crazy maneuver. If they shoot at us again, I can try to bend the elements. Perfect. Okay. All right. Um, I think for that I will have you roll willpower plus willpower.
Okay. Um, and we'll contest that against their attack. If that fails, could Jerry shoot this thing before it hits us? We're getting closer and closer. I mean, shoot the balloon. Yeah. Ooh
What'd you get? 15. Yeah. Uh, the, another balloon comes floating towards you, and you just, "Phew," and it hits, like, a nearby, like, tree, and just, "Bop." How much MP should I cross off of that? [02:17:00] Um, I don't know. Those are pretty... Let's see. Ritual. Just to be fair, I can't do this forever. How very Avatar of you. I try. I try.
30. The spirit. 30? Gosh. Yeah. I can do that, like, one more time, guys. I'm giving her all she's got. Bro. You wanna attempt to use the cannons again? Yeah. All right, go ahead. We're closer. Jerry does
try again. Should be easier this time. 8 plus 6- Ooh ... so that's 14, 17. Ooh, I'm off the bottom. Sure, yeah. Um, what was the high roll? 8. All right. So yeah, you, "Phew." Um, a, one of the cannon just goes through, you know, a large portion of the back of the ship. Ooh, nice. Uh, and you see it slow and struggle. "Ha-ha." Great shot.
Uh, they're gonna send out another cannon. Uh- Jerry's just yelling obscenities at them Evasive maneuvers [02:18:00] Another balloon? Yeah, another one comes towards you. I got a 12. They got a 19. Ooh. Ooh. Um, and this one just Ah. The front half of the ship is basically wrecked, and you can tell you're gonna need to force a landing on this thing- All right
if you want to- We gotta go down. How far are we at this point? 100 feet. I- But, I- I, I think I have an idea- ... that you are also having. What, what's, uh... In terms of height, are we above them, level with them? How is it? You're level with, like, the butt of the ship, so you would not be able to, unless you up, get onto the ship.
Do one of you wanna get on there? Hey, Goku freeze a fastball special. I- And Jerry very much, we have established, does, his cloak does let him glide. I, I instantly, I- So he could cat- This will be a- He could catch air ... this will be a very difficult roll, but- He, he could catch air ... I will help. I grab you and I go, "Throw the mouse."
Throw me. [02:19:00] All right. Can someone give me an elixir? I can help. Oh, uh, how much is it? Three? Yeah. It's a lot. It's expensive. It's okay. I, I had it, so, um, all right. Hotot. Jerry's like in ball mode. He's like- So you are all now Jerry supporters in this group roll. We are. Oh, no. Um, this is- I don't know what to roll
dexterity plus willpower. Dexterity plus willpower. This is difficult. Oh, that bumps me down a die. Come on, baby. That is a seven. It's an 11. I don't know what I get. I'm gonna use a- I got an eight ... fabula point. I got an eight. Oh, no. I'll also re-roll for that. What did you say? I don't have any more fabula.
Come on, 11. It just has to be a 10. Oh, oh, okay. Okay. I don't have any more fabula points. I got a 15. Can I spend a fabula point for him to re-roll? But they're throwing me, so... No, you got a 10, even with the Jerry supporters. I, uh... How far does he make it? I, I'll burn another fabula point, or I'll burn a fabula point.
Is it just re-rolling? It's only gonna get him up to an 11, so if you think it's- Will an 11 be better, or...? It's a difficult roll, and remember a 10 is like a normal [02:20:00] difficulty. So then... I don't think I have any. Can we do any? Can we say, like- How far do I get? ... Jerry goes, like, straight up instead, so, like, it's not gonna be enough- Like, I just psh
to, like... I mean, you don't, like, get hurt, but as you're jumping, the ship sort of veers a bit upwards, and you just start gliding down towards the ground. Okay. I wanna attempt to teleport Jerry the rest of the way. Whoa. Oh. Let's see. Jerry's just like... We're gonna get you on the edge of this ship, and, like, a clown's just gonna look at you and just...
No, I will take that clown with me.
That's not good. The dice, they cursed me on this one. I was [02:21:00] doomed the moment willpower was said. Oh, no. I didn't think you were gonna suc- Just my willpower's a D6. Oh. I didn't think you were gonna succeed, but I was like, "Wait, I can probably get you the rest of the way there." How far is your teleport? I would say- It will depend Oh.
The further along, the more expensive it is. Yeah, this is... I don't know if you can afford this. Oh, then maybe not. 'Cause your maximum is 72, right? Yeah. And I don't have 72 right now. Yeah, 'cause this, I think, would be another 120, and just the amount of time it would take- Oh, my gosh ... Jerry would be on the ground.
Can I... Since I know I miss- Since I'm clearly missing, can I take a shot at their balloon with my pistol as I fall? I, I, I... Go ahead. Well, like, you said- So it says you can spend a fabula point to alter the story. Can I alter the story so that Jerry has a gr- has the end of a grappling hook in his hand? Like, a rope with a grappling hook on the end of it?
I... No. That's a... No. At the end, to the side. Oh, all right. I, um... Can I take a shot at their balloon as I'm falling? Sure. I'm gonna do something on the way down. Gery's like, "I'm not gonna make [02:22:00] it, but I'm gonna take them with me somehow." Please, please, please, please. 4, 9. Uh, that is a 12. Yeah. As another balloon kinda comes out, uh, to try to do a finishing blow on your ship, you manage to intercept it and it explodes, like, fresh out of the cannon.
Nice. Um, and- Get wrecked. As I tumble down to the ground. Uh, the airship just kind of starts careening like crazy, and you see it doing, like, circles and spirals and desperately trying to, like... And as it's falling, it gets quite far away from you, and you just see it go down somewhere in the forest. Mm. And then I guess I glide- So the forest-
to wherever I land. Where do I glide and land to? Um, just, like, you know. On top of a building? Yeah, some random person's, like, farmhouse. You just land. A bunch of, like, crows go flying out. All- A squirrel landing ... all right. Everybody, hold on. And I reach into my magic bag and I pull out the sheet from earlier.
We're getting off this plane. I can land it. I can land it. I can la- Ace. It's gonna be a bumpy landing. All right, fine. Hold it behind us. All right, got it. [02:23:00] You said forest. Do I recognize home? Is this home? It is the Forest Kingdom. Oh. The Forest Kingdom is by far the largest kingdom, so it's not, like, your specific home.
Everywhere is home. But yeah, it's- If I see a river, I'm like, "Oh, look it." Yeah. "That's my house." This is your, this is your turf. Squatter's rights.
Um, all right. So you all- So yeah, we bring down the airship as gently as we can. The airship is a lost cause. Yeah, yeah. No, it's- You bail out of it. I will say, I'm not gonna punish you. You have the right tool from before. You parachute down. It's perfect. Um, the airship crashes somewhere off in the distance.
Ah, a mystery tool to be used for later. And as you see, like, the little, like, smoke billowing up from away, you all land. You see about a couple hundred yards away Gery just, like, crouched atop this farmhouse. Um, and you see, like, a human farmer just like... [02:24:00] We need to clean up the streets of the city. It's...
Well, around here, it's more like hiking paths, but sure. I just imagine, like, atop the roof, like- And you found yourself just on the edge of the Forest Kingdom Do- we know where the crash site is, right? Hmm? We know where the crash site is for their, for their thing, right? You said a creek. Vaguely that-a-way, yeah.
We go vaguely that-a-way, right? We're gonna go vaguely that-a-way. Jerry will rejoin them and we'll- And we can talk to some animals, see if they've seen anything. Mm. Squeak, squeak? Squeak, squeak? Squeak, squeak. Squak. Squak. All right. Um, so you do have your moment of goodwill this time, at least. Yes. Um, you survived the crash.
Um- No fingernails. And you are headed into, uh, the Agrigio Kingdom. It has a name. That's not the Forest Kingdom. Um, which is where Bubbles is from. Um- [02:25:00] Right now you're kind of right on the edge, so it's a little more sparse, but very close ahead of you is kind of just, like, thick, dense trees. Um, and there's a path winding through.
Um, and you are traveling. Oh, my mom's gonna be so mad. You did kind of, like, steal a ship and your family name- Blew it up ... and blew it up. She- Charged it to your mom's card- ... think
she's gonna be more mad that I've been- ... and then just exploded it ... dead. Mm, that's true. Oh, w- what did you tell your mom before you left? I don't talk to my mom like that.
What did you- You saw my mom. Oh, trust me, I saw more than enough of your mom. What'd your mom say? Good luck. Oh, wow, that's really supportive. Yeah, we have mothers that love us. My mom loves me too. My- No, Bubble, it's not like that. I'm sorry. I'm just imagining Gandalf having, like, an existential crisis, like...
[02:26:00] We just leave home when we're very young. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. All right. Do you guys wanna make a travel roll? It's a d- Yeah. Ooh, I have bonuses to that ... it's a d10. This is my home turf. Uh, one person is doing a travel roll. Oh, well, what- You wanna do it since it's your home turf? Give, give it to the person with bonuses.
I have a bonus- Or that ... that we can find treasure on a travel roll. Okay. That works. Um- Treasure? Treasure. I mean, I have to roll a two or lower, so. Oh. Well, that's not great, but- No, it's not ... I will say Bubbles rolled a two, so th- like, th- not for the roll, but this is very much in character of just like, "Oh yeah, so if we go this way, this is exactly where we'll see this farm and this ranch."
And like you look in the direction that he's talking about and it's just like, I don't think there's actually anything like that. You know? Yeah, sure, Bubbles. You know? Oh my gosh. But if we go this way, that's gonna lead us right back over to the, the, the village, and I'm pointing not in the way that we came from.
Right back from the gilded city. The shining city up on- Bubbles, that's a sand- Yes. There we go. Bubbles, that's a sand pit. It's like a- What do I roll [02:27:00] for this? ... a pit of quicksand. A d10. D10. Oh. 'Cause it's a- I need to put more points into this. How many pits of quicksand are there in this forest? There's at least 14 of them.
One. Low roll, dang it. Low roll- Four ... is, I believe, good. Uh, yeah, you do not encounter any danger. Hey. Woo. Gorgeous stuff Let's go roast us a cat There's a l- Huh? ... lot of options. Sounds good to me. Oh, no. What? Do I remember a cat? Yeah, the cat man. Oh, yes. Okay. The captain. Ah. The cap- catptain. The captain.
Captain. That's... G- Gery just made a joke in character with Candle. Ah. Ah. Ah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, all right. Did you guys want to rest at any point? Yes. Yes. Oh, most definitely. Very much so. All right. So you will either need to find a place that will house you, or you need to purchase a magic tent. For in the north- A magic [02:28:00] tent?
or whoever has it. First, can I say that Bubbles would've known that she could not, like, do magic of that level and waste, um, squid's in it, uh, or IPs on a elixir. I feel bad because I didn't do anything with it. If you have an elixir, though, I mean, I can just have, uh, whatever you... Oh, did you take it already?
I mean, that's for you to figure out amongst yourselves. So do we wanna see if there's a place in the woods, or do we wanna use inventory points? I'll just use the inventory points. I got- I think we should just use an inventory point. Yeah, Gery's, Gery's- I don't wanna make Val come up with a whole nother character.
No. I mean, I will. So- It won't have a good name. Can't wait for fourth old man of the series. Do you mind, young lady? Do you need a place to stay? I love a great old man. Come on. There's been- You've seen my teeth. There's been two. There's been two old men. I've got a bunch of- They were just so memorable in my mind.
I'm old man number three. Would you like a place to stay? It's like Shu from Avatar, and it's just a d- it's the same guy, different hat. [02:29:00] I'm gonna... I'm just gonna... Gery's just gonna spend the four inventory points to do the magic tent. So Gery's gonna- What's your tent look like? ... reach into his cloak, and he pulls out, like, a full multi-person tent.
Where was that? Ooh. I knew he had one. It's magic. You don't seem like a guy who goes in cities a lot. Bubble hands you back the elixir. Oh. You get back your IP. Thanks. Gery very quickly sets up this tent. I mean, it's magic, so it seems out. Exactly. Candle walks to the other e- o- other end of the clearing, um, puts their stuff on the ground, and then falls face first into some mud, just to...
and then just screams. Just screams. Mud bubbles. Just, "Ah, ah." Gery, Gery walks over to, to Candle, pats him, and puts his hand on his back. And then he reaches back into his cloak and he pulls out the hand of one of the doll people that we just murdered and goes-
So you can- "Need a hand, bud?" Can [02:30:00] the doll clown circus- Gery. Gery. And it's just the really bad teeth smile. Like, Gery's clearly trying I could use a hand, yeah. And he gives him the hand of the corpse that they have of the clown doll corpse he stole this from. Ooh. Are they dead dead? I was fully just like, "You know what?
They're gonna come back together." Like- We shattered them into pieces ... I mean, they, they might have before, but one of them came back without a hand. But I took one of their hands. Dog, dog. We shattered them into pieces. And burnt the other guys. You turned the others into cremation Okay. No. Are you guys bonding right now?
Oh, we're gonna bond. Are you two bonding? I, I guess me and Candle are bonding. Are you erasing an emotion from an existing bond and replacing it with a different one? No, I think mistrust is still there for Jerry at least, but I think now it's gonna be, like, affection. Mistrust and affection. Oh, wow. We're like a bad situationship.
Can love flourish between a clown- You can't come to me, my mom just died. But to be fair, they have a pretty high- You can't come to me either. My, my mom just [02:31:00] di- My mom thinks I'm dead. I'm a mouse boy raised by a, by a bird. How do you think that's gonna go? I'm a clown.
Why does it sound like a Seinfeld bit? I'm a clown, Jerry. I think. I, I'm too funny for my mother. I don't know what to do. My mother said she'd, she'd get you. Your bond has now strengthened to affection and mistrust. Let's go. Beautiful. My end was mistrust though. You are now frenemies. Congrats. We never got to return our outfits.
Exploding clowns really brings people together. Oh, no. How terrible. Ragdoll
clowns- You look so good though ... that are vaguely androgynous. Candle, could you make us some music? What instrument? Mm. Hurdy gurdy?[02:32:00]
Beautiful. I, I just start cranking the hurricane all over the place. I go up to Squid. Stripper, may I? Stripper. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
Uh, Jerry's had enough, so there's only one reaction video. Jerry. I love that we just crashed outside this guy's farm- ... and then we just pull out a tent. And we're just playing music now. He's just laying in his bed in his farmhouse like- He's as old as he can ... old man number three. This is a middle-aged man.
No. Come on, I have range. And it's probably in his 60s. Am I old? That's old. That's an old man. Okay. That's not middle-aged. Okay, okay, David. Okay, 21-year-old child. Can you even vote? Yes. Shouldn't... I don't think I should be allowed. I loudly voted for Jelftide this last election. Oh, God.[02:33:00]
Anyway. Applause, applause. I did not do that. Is anyone else bonding? Yes, this is what my attempt was. We're, we're bonding. It's affection. All right, you guys are, you guys are dancing. Yes. Some affectionate bonding. I'm so drooling. For the record, I did not do that, but somebody did vote for me. My friend put my name in as Thorian.
Wow. Oh my
God.
I couldn't read what it- At least they voted. I realized that that's supposed to be you. What did you write? Gerstring? 'Cause you keep adding random letters in random places to your name. Oh. Oh, Gerstring. That's amazing. Have you been keeping track? Yes. You just, you just added the H? I added an H. Okay. All right, so, yeah.
Is there anything you guys are discussing, or are you just tearing it up on the dance floor? We're tear- we're tearing it up. Yeah. Absolutely. Are we taking it- No one's needed. So Pablo, right? Like...
I don't know. [02:34:00] I- It just kinda happened ... you got the runes, though. Yeah. Perfect. I, I love how everyone flirted with someone and then there was Jerry who just went straight to dance with Candle's childhood love. While you guys are doing this, Kendall is like on a rock playing the gurdy and goes like, "Yep, keep talking about Pablo.
That's all that, that happened today." It was really important for you, I feel. I don't know how you play a hurdy-gurdy. You're doing great. You're doing great. You hurd and you gurd- I- ... according to some. I heard the gurd. The gurd is a gurd. Are you looking up a hurdy-gurdy right now? Yes. I wanna shop for one.
Why would I buy this thing? You should absolutely buy a hurdy-gurdy. Oh, okay. So I- I've got like one hand like this and the other like this. Perfect. Give it, give it a crank. All right, got it.
Is it just like a weird accordion? It is. It is, it's like a weird accordi-violin. Yeah. It's an accordi-violin. Um, a- anyway, I'll give them a ring when we head to bed [02:35:00] tonight. Oh. Perfect. So, for my time rendezvous. Do you have any MP left? Uh, I have 12 right now. You need magic to use the- How much MP does it cost to use runes?
How, wait, how much do you have? Send a message? It costs something. Might have to wait till the morning there, pal. I'm saying. Will it tend till we get a forest or do- I'm just so weak and tired right now. Yeah, you fully rest. Just call, call Pablo's phone. You gain back any points that aren't MP. Sorry I was out of minutes.
Just take, give her five MP to just be like, "XOXO." Sorry I was out of minutes. How many, how many zenit per inventory point is it? You're not in a town. You can't buy more. Argh. You're in the middle of a lake. Can we steal it from this guy's phone? No. No. Give me your inventory points. Hey, handsome. How was your...
I'll say this is a minor thing, but it would cost 20 MP. Okay. Oh. Oh my God. That's why Jerry doesn't get any runes. Oh. Costs too much. See, being- Jerry believes in snail mail. Being poor is bad for [02:36:00] the heart. You could send a letter, I guess. Sea snail specifically, of the destiny kind. Ooh. Oh, and no. I mean...
You're literally waiting for the postal service. I know. We need to go to the sandbar sometime together. I'll be your wing man. Fin man? Make it work. All right. So is everyone rested up? Yes. Yeah, I don't even know what that means. I think we're rested. No, we're, we're, we're all rested? Uh... No, I... Nobody has any conversations to ask Candleabout, obviously.
Jerry lets it be for the night. Yeah, I think everyone's giving you some space. Jerry's giving him a hand. You've got, like, half the tent to yourself. You can- You now have a, you now have a corp- you now have a doll corpse hanging in your inventory. Nice. I know. It's very articulated. Whoa. You could, like- Turn it into a fist, throw it at someone.
Yeah, you could full slap someone. Or that, like, uh, like when he takes off the glove and just whoosh. Yeah. What are those, head scratchers? Oh, yeah. You could use it as a back scratcher. Where'd you get that head scratcher from? It works really- Butt scratcher. You could put it on- Butt scratcher, ladies and gentlemen.
Butt scratcher. You could put it on the end of your [02:37:00] staff and have a slap machine. Ooh. You just hitting someone with it. My buddy stole this off a corpse. All right. So we recover all the- HP and MP are restored. Cool. Perfect. Um, I just put a page on resting. And all status effects are- Yes, you are no longer affected
Four to six hours of an activity. That's so much. Um, you awaken in the morning to the sound of birds, um, sunlight streaming in through the cracks of your magical tent. Um- Must make it a good tent then. You know. Um, yeah. And all around you are the sounds of the forest. Yeah. Mostly bird song at this time of day.
Um, it's pretty early in the morning. Want to ask any of those birds if they've seen where the crash happened? Ooh, yes. Yeah. We could go talk to some birds. Kendall's cooking breakfast by the campfire. Oh. There's like eggs and like bacon. Wow, Kendall, thanks. Jerry's [02:38:00] sitting in a tree. Where are we sitting, dear?
Well... S- we just hear a middle-aged man, we just hear the middle-aged man from his house, "Where are all my pigs?"
You gotta crack a few eggs before you can make a-
All right. Jerry begrudgingly takes a piece of bacon. It's really good. Even though mice do not eat bacon. Are mice omnivores? I don't think they are. No, they're not. I think- You have a terrible stomach ache. Yeah. I'm gonna Google it. No, they're- No, mice are herbivores. Uh, you two go off in search of some birds.
Yeah. Um, you find a little dove on a tree. Mice are optim- are, are opportunistic omnivores. Oh. Oh. Interesting. They take an opportunity. They eat their young sometimes, so that makes... Yeah. Wild mice eat a wide variety of seeds, grain, other plant material, as well as invertebrates. Ooh. Well... We'll count bacon as an invertebrate just for today.
There's no bugs in it. There's no bugs in it. Exactly. All curves. Deboned bacon. All curves. [02:39:00] So you find a dove. Dove. Uh, it lands on your finger. Okay, no way. Like a princess. Like a princess. I love that for you. Hey, little feather friend. Uh, have you seen any- How's it going? I knew it. You were gonna play an old man whether we set the voice or not.
Not an old man. A, a million likes. And, and they'll, and they're all dead next episode. What the heck? All the old men, all the old men of every kingdom are gone. They have a perch. horror movie. All the old people have di- anyway. How's it going? No Country for Old Men. Your songs are, are beautiful, and I just wanted to- Thanks, toots
appreciate you. No problem. Uh, wanted to see if you or anyone you knew saw, like, a big blimp crash last night. Big one. Not like [02:40:00] a little one. You know the one I mean? Oh, yeah. Right over there. Yeah. No, not that one. Oh. A big one. Like, a lot of smoke. Lot of stripes, clowns. I think we killed all the clowns. Not that one.
This is very confusing. I understand. I'm sorry. There was a cat. You're telling me there was a- There was a big blimp that was- There were two clown blimps. Two clown blimps? Oh, there's the other one. Oh. The other one. The other one. Big one. Oh. Big blimp. I find that highly offensive. I'm working with what I've got.
Did hear something that way. And he points kind of down the path. Okay. Before the other clown. Hmm. Okay. Thank you for your help. Hey, no problem. Ah. Whoa, whoa. Beautiful. Thanks. All right, I think we need to get closer before we go any further. But we're going the right direction. We got a direction. Yeah. I'll take it.
It's a little funny. I'm gonna go have some of that bacon, though. That smells [02:41:00] divine, Camden. Mm. Thank you. It was made with love. How- Boneless bacon, my favorite Surprisingly difficult to do that first thing, but, you know. Mm. Got done. All right, so you continue along your travels when eating your breakfast along the way.
Um, Pablo- Coblito on the phone. Yeah, you and Pablo are ch- you know Your bird through tr- Um, you guys are all- You're managing to talk to this person You guys are all nauseated by them being like, "Oh, how did you sleep?" "Oh, I slept fine." Just thinking about, you know, just disgusting this. Mm-hmm. What are you doing right now?
That's so cool. I'm just walking through the forest- ... talking to birds. Jerry's just got this, like, thousand-yard star- stare about him. He's like- It's okay, Jerry. It can always get worse. How's Destiny doing? What? Are you taking it out on other people? Why are you... Look, I know that you had a rough time, but you don't need to do this to me, man.
You do not need to. You do [02:42:00] not know that. Jerry, Coblito yells through the phone. Destiny's there? Oh, I know Destiny. Of course you do. Of course she is. Jerry, Jerry's just like, he's fuming. She looks great. And he, Jerry looks over at Camden and goes, "So you and the queen, is that, like, a... That, is that happening again?"
Put, put on a little butter. "Or, or is she, she's single?" No, nor do I care. Yes. I mean, you, you were right. You know what, Jerry? I'll give it to you. All right? These rich people, man. Oh, boy, do they love causing problems, but not fixing them. Oh, boy, do they love just, you know, marrying anybody who comes along and not solving a single problem.
Jerry has a look on his face that this was not his intended, uh, reaction. He's just made his life worse. I mean, like- ... come on. And, like, he just gets ranting to Jerry. Just, like, just, like... And, and that la- Did you see that last chick that she was dancing with? Jerry just has his hand on his face. Like, "I didn't."
Be with, just- I came from, I came from- Just be with the [02:43:00] ugly stick. I came from- A 6 out of 10 at best. A 6 out- I came from- I'm an 8. I am a catch. I am a, I am a catch. I c- I could've stayed in the sky. All right? I could've stayed in the sky with my mom. All right. Instead, I'm stuck with a clown ranting and raving.
They're really going through it over here. I think I'm gonna have to call you back later. All right. Well, you hang up first. And can you believe her mother? Well, I do want to- No, you hang up. You hang up. And can you believe her grandmother? Can we just hunt for a cat?
As you guys are all having your various screaming matches, um, you realize that the forest has started to look a little more, like, populated. Um, the Forest Kingdom has these little... Or appreciate kingdom as though a name. Uh, has these little pockets of villages. Um, and you're walking past one right now.
There's these little lights hanging up, um, like, almost like little candles in little glass orbs all strung along the trees. Little what nows? Little candles. There's just little clowns trapped in these orbs. They're all like- Let me out. Let me out. They're, like, flashing color- no. Um, there's [02:44:00] these, um, mostly small houses built up into the trees.
Um, you see a couple, uh, small mammalian folk darting around. You see a little, um- Hey, Joe. Hey, Sarah. They don't recognize Bubbles at all. Oh, hey. It's, like, a random mouse folk. They go scampering off- Maybe- ... with, like, their little pack of supplies from the woods. Maybe ask about the ship Jerry- With the cat.
They're gone. Jerry's, Jerry's definitely entranced by, like, everything because- Yeah ... he grew up in the Sky Kingdom. He's never really been around other mouse people. Despite that, like, it... Despite being a mouse, he's never really been around other mice. Yeah. This village you're passing by now seems to be primarily, like, mouse folk.
Um, they're all skittering about. You hear a lot of high-pitched voices. Jerry,
Jerry, you're a mouse. They don't seem to recognize Bubbles. Sorry, Bubbles. What? That's Joe and Sarah. I [02:45:00] definitely know them. They p- ran in a panic. I'm big and scary. It happens. Little bit, right? So you'll blend in way better. You know how I kind of led the charge and asked around last time? Your turn, buddy.
Come on. I'll teach you Mousecatillian.
Famous language. I've heard it's known as the romantic language around here. Jerry begrudgingly walks up to another mouse. Did you see an airship crash around here by chance? Please tell me none of them talk as high-pitched. "Oh, I did." Oh, no. "Right over that way." Did there happen to be, and I don't mean to cause a panic, a large cat with that one?
"A what?" Never mind. Were there, were there clowns- "Guys." No, no. "Guys." No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Were there clowns? Clowns? Not the one I'm with. Were there clowns? "There's... You have a cat with you?" No, a clown. "Guys, tell him-" Clown.[02:46:00]
No. Guys, I messed up. It's okay. Sorry. And when you turn back, when you turn back and look- Flames start flaming. Windows start shuddering. When you turn back and look at me, there is grease paint whiskers on my face. Why would you... What the... I thought it would be funny. The lights all start, like, the candles all start going out.
Oh, good. Jerry- To quote my brother, "Meow." Jerry, Jerry just looks at Caleb. He's like, "How, how would you, how would you feel if I, if I dressed up as a circus tamer, huh?" What is this- A clown tamer ... scene that there's a, there's a job for clowns? Or, like, a, a ring leader. Whatever they're called. The guys who keep clowns in check.
The natural, the natural predator of clowns. Yeah, the guy who runs the circus. Hey, how would you feel if I dressed up as the manager from the fast food place you worked at as a kid? What are you talking about? Ah.
Here, I'll change it. mouse, mouse paint. It still just kind of like- Yeah. And now it's [02:47:00] gone offensive. Fine, clown. Just you wipe your face and it changes. I can do, I can do squid, and I just full, like, not just paint, like, full facial reconstruction. Whoa. Like- That's good ... you're gonna have to spend MP to do that.
Really? Yeah, really. How many? Uh, 20. Oh, what the... Uh, no. That's nothing. It's paint. It's p- no, it's actually just the word squid in for- in my forehead. It's just like me. Jerry goes and knocks back on the house. I can do Jerry too. Like, of the person he was talking to. All right. He knocks on their door. Hello?
Yeah, the, the little, like, people inside the, "What do you want?" There's no, there's no cat here. As you can see, I just have a really, really dumb clown. It just says Jerry on my forehead in big letters. Cats are actually known herbivores. They won't hurt you. Psh. St- stop. Mm. Bubbles, just call Pablo.[02:48:00]
Was there any clowns nearby, not including the one with me? Did you lose more clowns? I didn't lose them, they kind of attacked us and ran away. They stole from us. I haven't seen any clowns. Did you hear any clown noises? What is, what's a clown noise? Make some clown noises. Honk, honk. Blah. No. Did you see an airship
crash nearby? I, I make, I make like a map. Like, towards your airship crash again? No, not... Another one, a bigger one. Oh. I did see something go down towards Taproot. Where's... Can you show us where Taproot is or put us in the right direction? Do I know where that is? Yeah. Taproot is the main city in Agrishia Kingdom.
In fact, there is a little sign at the end of the path that you are currently standing in. It says Taproot with, pointing- I'm standing in front of it ... [02:49:00] Oh, perfect. Thank you for your help. Close the little thing again. I knock again. I have a- What do you want? I have a perfect balloon miniature recreation of Jerry in my hands I just, I just leave it outside on the step.
No.
All right. Do it again. Stop harassing my neighbors. This is a lovely town. Thank you. Yeah, it's very... This one's small. I feel enormous. But, uh, this is pretty cool. Oh, yeah. Like max height is like this way, which would be- Loving this ... um, people do slowly start coming out of their homes again and going back about business.
Um- So do you just say the word cat and everybody freaks out? Ah! And everyone starts running around again. Looks like it. I did not know that. Yeah, but you've tested your scientific theory hypothesis. Is, is there gonna be cats everywhere? Like, are, are we gonna go to like a, like a thing of like birds and say- Ah!
[02:50:00] Doors start slamming. I didn't specify what kind of bird. We can go to like a thing of pigeons and say like... I don't know. I don't know. This is new for me. Yeah. What, what eats you? What eats penguin?
Uh, like sea lions. It's like seals. Sea lions, yeah. Yeah. You don't really encounter those on the mountain. Polar bears sometimes. Okay, so if we go to your home and somebody says like, "Polar bear," like, does everybody like run free? Ah! Those are people too. Th- th- It's chill. Th- th- I get it, it's just this seems like a very odd custom.
We're getting- No, I agree. Let's just go to Taproot and find the cat. Sasha keeps freaking out. I don't know why. The what? The cat. We can go find the cat, yeah. Ah! Sasha, it's okay. Gerry starts walking to Taproot. There's no cat here. Gerry just starts walking. That one was on purpose. Gerry just, Gerry just...
Let's go. All right. Yeah. Um, and you head towards Taproot. Um, continuing along your way. Let's do one more travel roll, that D10. Oh, boy. [02:51:00] Okay. 'Cause this is a new day. A new day, new Jerry. Not you. Oh, that's right. Three. Oh, so close. My nose. That is good. Okay. You want less than a six. I know. Which is why a bigger die is scarier 'cause there's more chances to get six or more.
Yeah. So- So we wanna find treasure ... it's red. Yeah, if you get a one, you do get treasure. Yeah. That's color. Two for them. How's it going? Uh, I mean, wow. Yeah. Wasn't prepared to get asked that. Um- I know. I feel like it... You know, yeah. H- uh, how, how are you? Oh, terrible. Absolutely terrible. Yeah, that seems, that tracks.
My mom... I mean, imagine if like- Imagine how your mom would feel if she thought you were dead for four years, and then suddenly somebody was going around saying your name and looking like you and Stealing airships, blowing them up. Stealing airships, blowing them up. Do necromancers exist in this universe?
Now imagine if, like, Destiny, like- Mm ... was still definitely, definitely had a [02:52:00] thing for you, but, like, you think that you've grown too far apart personally on, like, a personal foundational level of what you believe to, you know, be willing to stay with that or stick around in one place for that long. Um, but now imagine it's your fault that they have to go through a ritual that they don't wanna really be doing.
So I know that you asked me to, like, imagine if that was me, but it feels like that was just you. You're right. That was rather narcissistic of me, Squid. I'm, I'm sorry. And, and it's cool. I... You don't need metaphors here, man. It's fine. We, we're, we're, we're, we're all in this together, and I
I just hope that you're doing it all for the right reasons. I hope that we can do more. Squid, I'm the reason the engines are ruining your ocean. Jerry just- So not ... stops in his tracks. And we're... You're doing this [02:53:00] because... Is this the more fun option instead- No ... of, like, going to the board meetings and, like, fixing this from the inside?
No, no. So-
Okay, so since we're just airing my business out, um, so like my family and more specifically me had a, like a really big hand in creating those engines that don't use magic, that create a lot of pollution. Um, and I did a lot of work on those, so I feel pretty responsible, but that's not really why I left.
I didn't know that that was gonna do that. I- To be fair ... I've been wearing my suit jacket this whole time- Mm-hmm ... and I take it off. And my whole arm, 'cause I don't usually wear clothes. But my whole arm and side are like gray. Yeah.
Well, I do. I- You're telling [02:54:00] me- I- ... that you had power to do something, and now we're on, we're on a fun adventure instead while this is happening to me, to my family, to my friends Stop. What, why? Why should I stop? Because I don't have power. Uh, yeah, you're right. I didn't- Because now you're dead I didn't, I didn't, I didn't leave out of some, you know, naive bid for attention or something like that.
I- I didn't have a say My brother controlled my studies from the moment I woke up. My dad controlled where I was and when I was. My mom controlled how I looked, how I dressed, how I presented, who I was. I, I wasn't anyone until I left. I didn't have power. I- I feel terrible. Something I, [02:55:00] I helped is hurting people.
I didn't know that would happen. I didn't want that. I wouldn't have, at least I hope I wouldn't have contributed had I known I didn't know it was that bad till I came back and saw what was going on at the reef. And all I've been thinking about is how to m- make it better I wasn't gonna be able to change that in there.
They wouldn't have listened to me no matter what I did. I left 'cause they wouldn't listen. They didn't care about Phoenix. That's why Phoenix is dead, 'cause nobody cared enough to know what they wanted. And I'm sorry that, I'm sorry that me alive and dead had a, had a part in that. I wanna make things right.
I do, [02:56:00] and I hope you can see that. I don't want people to get hurt. Well, people are getting hurt, so let's figure it out
But if you can use any of that power, if we can get anything, we're gonna... We need to use everything that we have
It helped us take an airship. It's not gonna help us uproot an entire society of people
The reason I didn't want to stay was she, Clothera was just like the rest of them. Do you think sharing poorly made sheep cake and dancing with nobles is going to fix you or the people who are getting hurt? Did you even listen to her? She didn't [02:57:00] care. She wanted to slowly, right, gradually make these big shifts, right?
And, and- But she's doing something. No, she's not. Don't you see it? No. You can b- you could blow up a factory tonight. You could blow up eight factories. I say we do that. You could blow up 80 ships, right? You want a factory? You would tell them all to, to... She has the power. Oh my God. Her and her family and the rest of those people on the board- Start taking our explosives out
have the power to snap their fingers and make all of this stop, and they won't. I don't know. They are instead doing this game where she's gonna marry some, she's gonna marry somebody from your kingdom or, or some swan from your kingdom, or somebody else, right? I- she could marry another person from the Citadel, right?
And the loop's gonna start all over again. It seems like they're getting steamrolled by their own fa- policies and factories. They are. Your factories are gonna uproot the graves of their family. What, [02:58:00] what, what else could she do? They're being backed into a corner. Of course, they're gonna reach out to other co- other- And, and-
other people who could actually do something. I'm done. Let's go find people who can actually fix something.
Squid and Candle, would you like to form a bond? Yes. Yeah, let's go. Yay. Hatred. Hatred. Hatred? Hatred. Uh, Squid, do you feel hatred as well? No, trust him. All right. Mistrust- I trust him ... and hatred. Great. Okay. Like, feel free to hate me. Um, you two, how's it going? How's your day? Gerry's slowly putting the unlit Molotov cocktail back in his cloak.
He'd been blowing up a factory. He had blown up a factory, and he was ready. I wish there were factories here. I, I lost a lot of points with Squid. I gain a lot with Gerry in that interaction. Oh, yeah. Oh, very much so. Ugh. All right. Um, as the argument [02:59:00] went on, you now are just noticing the path has gotten much wider.
It's less of, like, a two-person path, and much more of, like, carts and such can fit down here. And there's, you know, those ridges in the ground that carts do come in and out of here. You're passing a couple people, um, you know, possum folk, and mice folk, and all persuasions of forest creatures. Um, and then the path sort of opens up to become this sort of like circular central area, and at the front of it, there's this absolutely massive old growth tree, um- Ooh
where dozens of buildings are just sort of carved in, built in all around it. Um, they seem very, like, a part of the tree. Like, the tree is, you know... There's these, um, bridges connecting it to other large trees that also similarly have little houses all around. For clarification, are there tree people in this [03:00:00] universe?
No. Tree people? Gerry's gonna look at Candle and be like, "Wow, look at that. A, uh, a place where the, the natural carvings are not people. Not the bones." I mean, trees are alive, though. Kind of like coral, yeah. They don't run your soci- they don't run the society here. Uh. As far as I know anyways. Hey, gut feeling.
Somebody in there's gonna be a tree You're probably right ... somebody in there's gonna be part of a tree. The elder is going to be a big tree that the rest of the forest is. Mushroom. Could be a mushroom. Gery just looks- That's kinda like a tree ... horrified and disappointed. All right. So as you guys are entering Taproot, I think that is a great place to leave it for now.
Yay. Uh, thank you so much for joining us. Uh, we had a great time tonight. Uh, if you did as well, we would love if you would, uh, [03:01:00] smash that Subscribe button and click the bell so that you can be notified next week when we go live for our fourth and penultimate episode of our Fabula Ultima campaign.
Penultimate means one before last. My producer give me a face. Pen- Penultima episode. Fabula Penultima, yeah. Um, thank you so much. Have a great night. And we'll see you next week for our second to last episode. Good save. Good save. Nice. That's what [03:02:00] vi-