Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Showing Up Anyway is a podcast about unlearning diet culture, redefining health, and making peace with food, movement, and your body -- without needing to have it all together. Hosted by Coach Adam Wright, an anti diet-culture personal trainer and body-trust educator, each episode dives into the imperfect side of wellness and how to navigate motivation burnout, body image struggles, emotional eating and the pressure to be "healthy". This is your reminder that progress doesn't need to be perfect, and you'll still see progress as long as you show up anyway.
Welcome to Showing Up Anyway,
the podcast for people who
are not perfect.
On this show, we talk
about intuitive eating,
fitness without obsession,
and healing your relationship
with food and your body.
Hi, everyone!
You're back for another episode of
Showing Up Anyway.
I'm Coach Adam, and look
who showed up - you did.
And I'm so glad you're here with me.
I thought that following
our episode on hunger
a couple of weeks ago,
it would make the most sense to turn
our attention to fullness today.
Why it's so hard to stop eating,
what fullness is supposed
to feel like,
and how to actually stop eating
when enough is enough.
Because I don't think it
comes down to you
not knowing
what fullness feels like.
I think you do,
but there's levels to it,
and often you don't realise how
full you are until it's too late.
Sometimes we ignore our
fullness out of habit,
or because what we're
eating tastes super,
super good and we don't
want that feeling to stop,
or because we want
to get our money's worth.
Fullness can feel
a little bit complicated,
especially for chronic dieters.
And so that's where we're
going to start today.
So, why is it so hard
to feel when we're full?
Well, like I said earlier,
I don't think it's because
you don't understand it.
I think it's because
you've been told over
and over again not
to trust that feeling.
Diet culture has this stupid
obsession about restriction.
Like, anything except
being hungry is a bad thing.
And somewhere along the way,
fullness went from a biological cue
to being treated like
some sort of a sin.
Kind of, like, if you feel full,
that means you gave in.
Does that make sense?
So, what ends up getting idealised
is emptiness, hunger, control.
Your stomach growls get
glorified, and fullness,
which is something that's supposed
to be normal and neutral,
becomes something
we should never feel,
and sometimes a feeling
we're taught we should fear.
And I mentioned this
in a previous episode,
it's ironic because when
you constantly try
to stay hungry and restrict,
you have a greater tendency
to overeat.
It almost becomes unavoidable.
The one feeds, for lack
of a better term, the other.
So, instead of being able to stop
when you're comfortably full,
you almost need to binge eat,
kind of like an automatic response.
I think a lot of it has to do
with the way we grew up too.
I suppose that's the case
for a lot of food rules
and diet culture,
but a lot of people have a
punishment history around fullness.
Did your parents ever make you feel
bad for going back for seconds?
Did they ever tell you
you're eating too much?
Honestly, sometimes not
even saying something,
just the look that they'd give you
made you feel bad, didn't it?
Maybe you were raised
hearing things
like, "Save room for dessert"
or, "You don't need that".
And so, now, even as a grown person,
fullness doesn't just feel
physically uncomfortable,
it also leaves you feeling bad,
like you did something you should be
disappointed in yourself about.
I want to reassure you
that fullness is not a mistake.
It's a normal endpoint of
eating. It's your body saying,
"I'm good." "I've had enough."
So, if no-one has ever
told you this,
fullness is not a failure.
It is not laziness.
It is not indulgence or weakness.
Fullness is your body
telling you exactly
what it's supposed to when it
receives enough nourishment,
and you're allowed to feel
that and stop at that point.
So, fullness is hard to trust.
We know that, right?
But why is it hard to feel it
in the first place?
Because even if you want to pay
attention to your fullness cues,
if you're genuinely trying to
listen to your body,
there's going to be a lot of things
that can get in the way.
If you've spent years
ignoring your hunger,
like I know a lot of you have,
it makes a lot of sense
that fullness feels
unfamiliar too.
Hunger and fullness are connected.
They're two sides of the same coin.
A lot of the barriers to feeling
your fullness have to do
with distractions - scrolling
social media, watching TV,
reading a book,
eating while you're working,
responding to emails.
In fact, it's a lot
like distracted driving.
You know, when you're driving and
you've got your phone up here,
you really can't pay attention
to one or the other,
and it kind of gets dangerous.
It's probably a
little bit less dangerous
to eat while you're distracted,
but the same sort of thing
applies in the sense
that you really can't focus on
what you're doing
if you're distracted.
Your attention is on both of
those things and not just one.
So, I'd love you
to answer this honestly.
How often are you eating
distracted?
Every day? Every meal?
You also might have a hard time
feeling your fullness
if you always finish your
food out of habit.
Did anyone else grow up part of the
Clean Plate Club?
You might not have ever
officially signed up for it,
but if you grew up being told to
finish your food or not to waste it,
or that there were starving
kids in other countries,
well, then, yeah,
welcome to the club.
Now, a lot of you might think
finishing your food is harmless,
even polite,
but consistently eating
until the plate is clean,
or the bag, or the box,
or whatever is empty,
even if it's past your fullness,
not only leads to weight gain,
which is not the end of the world,
but it also takes you further away
from your body's
natural fullness cues.
Instead of stopping
when you feel satisfied,
your finish line becomes
visual - when the food is gone.
And I find it interesting
because a lot of times
this completely happens out
of habit. When you open up,
for example, a package of Pop-Tarts,
how many are you eating?
Two, right?
Because that's how many
is in the package.
Or you make three tacos for
dinner because, I don't know,
that's just how many I always eat.
Or you order a large number four
from McDonald's
because that's what you always get.
We're not listening to
our bodies by doing this,
we are reinforcing a habit.
But this is not a character flaw,
okay?
I'm not here
to make you feel bad for it.
This is just a chance
to notice what's underneath
these patterns and decide whether
they're still helping you
or whether they're holding
you back.
We already talked about how,
for a lot of us, this started
in childhood.
You didn't get a choice back then.
Maybe it wasn't just
the guilt trips.
Maybe you were part of a big family
where food went fast,
or maybe there wasn't always enough.
You dealt with some food scarcity,
and you learned to eat everything
while you had the chance.
Over time, those survival strategies
and food rules turned into
almost automatic behaviors.
You stop even questioning
whether you're full,
you just eat.
Let's explore some
clean plate drivers, okay?
Some things that may have happened
in your life that probably led
to you needing to
finish your food.
These are "I" statements,
okay, so pay attention cos
some of them might apply to you.
I grew up in a big family
where food was limited.
If I didn't act fast,
I missed out.
I was raised to believe
that leaving food was
wasteful or disrespectful.
Sometimes I didn't know when
the next meal would be,
so I always ate everything.
I was only allowed to eat dessert
if I finished everything
on my plate.
I was made to feel guilty
if I ever left food uneaten.
I automatically eat the whole
portion of something,
even if I'm not enjoying it anymore.
When I eat packaged food,
I usually finish the
whole bag or the box.
I eat everything at
restaurants or buffets
cos I wanna
get my money's worth.
I eat quickly and finish a lot
faster than other people do.
I worry about hurting someone's
feelings
if I don't finish the
food they made for me.
Do any of these feel familiar?
Now, if you have a sibling,
I want you to send this podcast
to them
because I guarantee they
probably feel the same way.
Okay, now, if you want to try
and break the habit
of always needing
to clean the plate,
I want you to try this -
at your next meal,
try leaving just a bite
or two left on the plate.
Scary, right?
Just a bite or two.
The purpose of this is to try
and start to retrain your brain
and remind yourself that,
number one, you're in control.
And number two,
nothing bad is going to happen
if you don't finish every bite.
If you want to put
a little more thought
into your fullness during meal time,
you can start to try
and estimate how many bites
it's going to take for you
to be comfortably full.
You can ask yourself,
"Is the next bite going
to be my last bite?"
This is one of
my favourite questions
to help me get
in touch with my body.
"Is the next bite going
to be my last bite?"
This is what's known
as the last bite threshold, okay?
It's the moment
that you realise your food
is not really tasting as good
as it did a little while ago,
and that you've reached a level six
or seven on the fullness scale
and it's time to comfortably stop.
When you catch that voice,
and, admittedly,
it does take practice,
it can be a really powerful cue.
But you don't have to change
everything overnight.
Okay? I want you to remember that.
Just start noticing.
That's what this practice
can help with.
The more awareness you bring,
the easier it becomes
to choose differently next time.
Do you know what else makes stopping
when you're full feel difficult?
Telling other people no.
You know, when you're at your
mom's house for Sunday dinner,
or the whole family comes over
for a holiday or something,
and then someone shoves
a plate at you and says,
"You've barely eaten.
Have more." Or your mom goes,
"But I made your favorite."
Or you hear,
"Come on, just one more bite.
You're making me feel bad."
There is a lot of social
pressure around food,
and that can be one of the
hardest parts of this work
because it's not
just about the food,
it's about relationships,
it's about love,
it's about culture.
In a lot of
families and cultures,
refusing food feels like rejecting
the person offering it.
And if you've been socialised
to be a people pleaser
or you grew up in a
clean your plate household,
saying no can feel pretty
disrespectful.
And I know that this is
probably really easy
for me to say as a white guy,
food really is not as much part of
my culture as it is for others,
but you are allowed to stop
when you feel full.
You don't need to justify it.
You especially don't need
to eat more just
to make someone else
feel comfortable.
Honoring your fullness doesn't mean
you're being rude
or rejecting your culture.
You can appreciate the gesture,
the care, the tradition,
and still say, "Thank you,
but I've had enough."
The thought of doing
that might be entirely new
and uncomfortable for some of you,
so here are some phrases that you
can use to help you say no.
You're going to say them
with kindness,
but also with confidence.
You ready? Jot these down.
"That looks or was delicious.
But if I eat any more,
"I'm going to feel
uncomfortably full."
"I can't eat any more right now,
"but I'd love to take some
home with me instead,
"or grab the recipe from you."
"No, thanks. Even just
one more bite of this
"is going to be too much
for my body right now
"and I don't think you want
me to feel sick."
"I've been trying to listen
to my body better,
"and, right now, it's telling me
I've had enough.
"I'm really enjoying this,
"but I want to stop before I
feel physically uncomfortable."
"Wow, that was delicious! I don't
want to ruin it by overeating."
Okay, someone tell me how
my acting was! (LAUGHS)
And you can always just give a
simple but firm "No, thank you."
You don't have to overexplain it,
you don't have to debate it,
you're setting a boundary.
And I get that
that's not always easy, especially
if you've never done it before.
But with practice,
those feelings of discomfort become
a really powerful act of self-care.
Setting boundaries is a little
like learning a new language, okay?
You're going to get better
the more you do it.
So, next time someone comes over and
shoves another plate at you,
take a breath. Your body is
not a trash can.
You're not obligated
to keep eating just
because the food is available
or someone else wants you to.
Let's shift gears now and talk about
what fullness is
supposed to feel like,
because most of us are really
only familiar with two extremes -
either we are absolutely starving
or we are uncomfortably full.
We're not used to paying
attention to the in-between,
but that in-between is really
where you should be focussed.
If you remember back
to our hunger episode
where we talked about
the hunger scale,
a six or a seven is
where I told you I wanted
you to try and stop eating.
That's where you are
comfortably full.
Now, the signs of fullness
are usually pretty subtle, okay?
Fullness is not a dramatic feeling.
It doesn't usually
slam you in the face,
it builds gradually.
And if you're rushing through your
meal or completely distracted,
you're going to miss it.
Here's some things
you might feel, okay?
You might feel a slight distension
or pressure in your stomach.
You'll probably find that you're not
thinking about food as much.
You might not have the desire
to eat any more, or as much.
Your pace of eating is
naturally going to slow down.
You might start picking
instead of just going for it,
like you were at the start.
You might feel more energised,
although you might also
feel sort of drowsy -
just kind of depends on the person
and the type of food, I suppose.
And, emotionally, you
might feel more relaxed,
less irritable,
more pleasant, like,
"Ah, that kind of
hit the spot," you know?
Now there's a lot of factors
that can impact your fullness,
how hungry you were
before you started eating -
that's a huge one, okay?
If you show up to a meal
absolutely ravenous,
you're probably not going to notice
the point where you feel satisfied.
You're going to blow right past it
because your body is
just trying to catch up.
And that's not a willpower
thing, that's just biology.
We talked about being
distracted when you eat,
that's almost a guarantee that
you'll eat more
and feel your fullness less.
This also happens
when you eat really quickly.
Also, how long ago was your last
meal or your last snack,
and how much did you eat then.
And then, of course, there is
the type of food itself,
and I think it'll be a little
helpful to understand
what kind of different
foods might affect you.
There's going to be foods that
contribute to your fullness,
and there's going to be foods
that don't keep you full, okay?
Foods high in protein, like meat,
beans, tofu, Greek yoghurt can help
you feel more satiated.
Fats like avocado,
nuts, butters, oils,
dressings can help slow down
digestion in your stomach,
and it slows down the digestion of
other foods in your stomach.
Carbohydrates, like
wholegrain pasta,
potatoes, rice, fruit,
vegetables.
Those things have fibre,
which help keep you full
and adds volume to
your meals as well.
They also help balance your blood
sugar and give you energy.
Now, let's talk about foods that
don't offer much staying power,
meaning they fill you up,
but only for a short time.
Some foods are low in calories
but high in volume like
raw veggies, plain popcorn,
or broth-based soups.
You might feel full
in the moment
because your stomach
is literally full,
but that fullness usually
doesn't last very long.
Then there are what
we call "air" foods, okay?
Things like puffed cereals,
rice cakes or, um,
Halo Top ice cream. Gross.
(LAUGHS)
They don't keep you full
because they're low in fat
and fibre and protein
and those are the things that
actually help keep you satisfied.
You'll also find this effect with a
lot of low-carb or diet foods,
okay, especially foods that are made
with artificial sweeteners
or sugar alcohols.
So, things like sugar-free jello,
uh, protein bars, keto desserts -
they might feel filling
for a little bit,
but if you eat too many of them,
they can also give you,
like, digestive issues and bloating.
Now, me mentioning those foods does
not make any of them bad, okay?
Let's be clear about that.
Remember, there are not
good foods and bad foods,
there's just foods.
But they can make it harder
for you to notice your
fullness in the moment,
especially if you pair them
with other things like eating
when you're distracted.
Now, as we move on, I do want
to acknowledge something
and that is the fact
that saying you've had enough
can sometimes feel
pretty disappointing.
That's something we don't
really talk about enough.
When you're physically full,
sometimes you don't want to stop.
Maybe the meal was amazing.
Maybe that was a rare moment
of peace in a stressful day.
Maybe you just didn't want
that experience to end,
or you don't want to go back
to your normal duties
and obligations, okay?
There's a real sadness
in stopping sometimes,
especially if that food
was one of the few ways
that you let yourself
feel pleasure or comfort.
Sometimes stopping
does not feel empowering.
That's not a character flaw,
okay? That's human.
It's valid. That sadness happens not
because you're doing anything wrong,
but because losing
that feeling of enjoyment,
even when you're full,
frankly, sucks.
So, you might feel a little grief
when you make the decision to stop,
a pang of disappointment or longing.
It's what we call the sadness of
saying enough.
It's a little grief
for a nice experience,
but I want you to ask
yourself these questions.
Did you get what you wanted out
of that meal already?
Hopefully, yes.
Do you want to feel
uncomfortably full?
Hopefully, no.
So, take a few breaths
and give yourself
permission to step away.
And if it helps, you can even
say a little goodbye,
like you would on a great vacation.
Or do a little Marie Kondo method
and just say, "Hey, you know what?
"Thank you for what you gave me"
before you throw it in the trash.
And if you don't
want to throw it away,
you can put it in the fridge,
pack it in a to-go box,
save it for later.
The meal doesn't disappear
just because it's over.
Whenever I talk about this,
I think about one of the
best meals that I ever had.
And I remember going to this
restaurant and having this meal,
and I did manage, somehow,
to stop when I was full,
and I asked for a to-go bag.
And we had a really great
conversation with some friends,
and we got caught up
and, as I was leaving,
I left the to-go box container
in the restaurant and I drove
off and I realised later,
"Oh, no, that delicious meal -
I left it at the restaurant."
And you know what? I was sad,
but I was sad for about ten minutes
and then I went on with
the rest of my day.
And that's how I want you
to approach this.
I understand that you're going
to experience a
little bit of sadness,
but it's really only going
to be temporary.
You're going to forget about it.
And, you know what?
Your next meal is probably
not that far off, go about your day.
And remember that
you can always go back
to that restaurant anytime
you want.
The more you practice these things,
listening for your
last bite threshold,
knowing what fullness
feels like for you,
the more familiar
it's going to become.
It'll almost become second nature.
Now, there's a fine line that you
have to learn how to walk, okay?
A lot of people have this temptation
when they're trying to eat better
to stop early, to cut yourself off
before you're truly
comfortably full,
that way you don't feel guilty,
you don't risk overeating.
That way you still feel in control.
But here's what I want you
to try instead, okay?
End on satisfaction,
not restriction.
Stopping because
you're satisfied is
a different feeling than
stopping because you're scared.
It's not "I should stop now",
it's "I feel comfortably full".
It's the difference between
stopping because of trust
and stopping because of fear.
Don't be scared.
Sometimes you're going
to eat past your fullness, okay?
Sometimes it's going to be really
delicious
and you're going to keep going.
Sometimes you're going
to miss the signal.
That's okay. Sometimes you're going
to forget to check in.
That's okay too.
Sometimes you're going to be
emotional or distracted,
it doesn't mean that you're bad.
It doesn't mean you're
undoing all your progress.
Trust is built through
repetition, not perfection.
Society has this obsession
with never feeling too full,
but, let's be honest, it happens.
It WILL happen,
especially when you're recovering
from restriction or chronic dieting,
or when you're learning how
to hear your body's cues again.
The goal isn't perfection.
It never should be.
It's just awareness.
It's noticing, "Oops! I went
a little past comfortable.
"What was going on there?"
With curiosity, not judgement,
right?
That's going to be a recurring
theme, I think, in this podcast.
Over time, you'll start to notice
that sweet spot better and better,
that place where you feel nourished,
satisfied and grounded,
not stuffed,
not deprived, just enough.
Now, if after talking about
all this stuff,
fullness still feels
confusing to you,
if it feels like something
you should be able to get right
but you can't, I want you
to please hear this -
this is a learning process.
You're training yourself to have
a better relationship with food
and your body, to regain trust that
you've been conditioned to ignore.
And, like any relationship,
it takes time, it takes patience.
You can do it. You're not broken.
You've just been taught over and
over again to ignore your body.
Of course it's going to be
hard to listen to it now.
I'm going to give you the permission
that you might not
know you needed, okay?
You are allowed to
eat until you're full.
You're allowed to stop
when you're satisfied.
You are allowed to learn as you go.
You don't have to clean
your plate to be respectful,
and you just have
to practice listening again.
And when it's difficult,
and it will be,
you've got to keep showing up anyway
because that's what
progress looks like.
Thank you for tuning in to this
episode of Showing Up Anyway.
You can find it for free on Spotify
or wherever you get your podcasts.
And wherever you're listening,
if you like the show,
I'd love it if you gave me
a five-star review,
because that does help
other people find the show
and hopefully it'll
help change their life,
just like you're looking
to change yours.
If you're listening on Spotify,
though,
you can follow me and
tap the bell icon
so you get notifications
when new episodes come out.
I'm Coach Adam. Remember,
when things get challenging,
keep showing up anyway.