The gang ranks all of the movies we've watched over the last year on our big list of scary movies!
That's right, it's the end of our second full year of podcasting and we've come to rank everything from October to October on our big list of all the movies we've watched for this show. Listen to us praise the greats, rail against the horrible, and beg and bargain with each other to place these films where we think they belong. Why do we do this? It's...hard to say actually. It jus seemed like the thing to do if I'm honest. This way you can hit the highlights or if you're in a mood for a stinker, we've got a few of those too!
Find the list on Letterboxd right here: https://letterboxd.com/jerwhit/list/progressively-horrified/
Emily: @megamoth on Twitter, @mega_moth on Instagram, and at Megamoth.net
Jeremy: @jrome58 on Twitter and IG, and at JeremyWhitley.com
What is Progressively Horrified?
A podcast that holds horror to standards horror never agreed to. Hosts Jeremy Whitley, Ben Kahn, Emily Martin and guests watch, read, listen to, and check out movies, tv shows, comics, books, art and anything else from the horror genre and discuss it through a progressive lens. We'll talk feminism in horror, LGBTQ+ issues and representation in horror, racial and social justice in horror, disability and mental health/illness in horror, and the work of female and POC directors, writers, and creators in horror.
We're the podcast horror never agreed to take part in.
Jeremy: Good evening and welcome to
Progressively Horrifying Podcast.
Oh man, my brain stopped
working all of a sudden.
All right, hold on.
Let's start this again.
I'm putting on my red leather
just, just as you said
I was about to do phone
intro there for a minute.
Good evening, and welcome to
Progressively Horrified, the podcast
where we hold horror to progressive
standards it never agreed to.
Tonight we are celebrating
our two year anniversary.
We've been doing this for two.
Full years and we're gonna do
it by adding to our ranking
list that we created last year.
So we're gonna make sure we rank
every movie that we have reviewed
on here from best to Worst.
First of all, I am your
host Jeremy Whitley.
And with me tonight I have a
panel of chil and you know, bys.
They're here to challenge the sexy
werewolf, sexy, vampire binary.
My co-host Ben Khan.
Ben, how are we tonight?
Ben: I'm ready for some
objectively correct rankings.
And if you disagree with our rankings,
you are wrong and your taste is wrong
and your worth is, a human being
is in question . So deal with it.
That's the only way I would put it.
And of course, joining us, the Cinnamon
Roll of Cytes, my co-host Emily Martin.
How are you tonight, Emily?
Emily: Not quite that judgey, but
I will be that judgy to you guys.
So, you ready?
Need to, we'll put checks and
Jeremy: balances to re
loyer Jennifer's body again.
Emily: Yes, I've got my script.
I've got all of my laws
over here, my books.
I've got my law degree.
I brought my law glasses and my lawsuit.
All right to recap where we're at
right now, as of last Halloween
uh, we had 46 items on this list.
Topping out with our top five
are Get Out The Babadook, attack,
the Block, alien, and Mayhem.
Ben: That top five still fucking
Our bottom five, which I
know is about to change.
Include drag me to hell, resident
evil, bad hair, the craft legacy.
We were way always horrible.
Ben: I will say we were definitely
too mean to drag me to hell.
I mean probably, I don't think so.
We would probably, I'm not sure if I
changed the rankings, but I would, I think
looking back I would probably put drag
me to hell above ka I mean I do think
Jeremy: okay, so like drag
me to hell is right there.
Cause it's like number 42 above
it is cabin in the woods, blood
and donuts repo and hell bent.
Which there is a rift, a huge rift
between how good those movies are.
Uh, And then bad hair craft,
legacy and don't breathe way,
way, way down at the bottom.
Ben: Oh yeah.
Like like, honestly, like one
through 42 are worth watching.
And it's really just this bottom four
that's just like, do not watch it.
More will be added to the, well,
I'm pretty sure do not watch
it tier after this episode.
Emily: I think Resident Evil is
watchable, but I think um, that sweet
little spot is going to be taken up by
resident evil's more recent installment.
Ben: Oh yeah.
Welcome to Rcu City.
We got some, we got some
apologies to mileage ov.
It's coming off this episode,
Jeremy: All right, well, we're not
going to jump straight to the bottom
because the first thing we have to do.
, our rank, the movies we watched
for Scary Movie Month last year.
Which start with the original
John Carpenter, 1978.
How do we feel about Halloween?
Ben: More appreciative than hardcore.
Emily: It's homework.
I mean, it's, it's okay.
Jeremy: To me it's really good,
but it's kind of like, this is
gonna feel like a wild comparison.
It's kind of like watching Casablanca
where when you watch it now
you're like, oh, I've seen that.
I've seen that before.
I've seen the way they do that.
What's so original about this
movie when really it was just
like, it was the first movie to
do all those things that you Yeah.
Like are very familiar.
Ben: I appreciate a movie that innovates,
but I do think there's some that
like, oh, it innovated and also it's
still a really good watch on its own.
like Halloween innovated and is great.
I'm really not sure how great a
watch it is like 50 years later.
Once I realized Jamie Lee Curtis does
not realize there is a horror movie
going on until the last 10 and a half
minutes I could kind of never unsee it.
Emily: I have a, I have, I mean,
I'm gonna start, I'm gonna spitball,
throw the spaghetti out the wall.
I'm putting it between Demon
Night and hell raiser two.
I think you're not too far from where
I'm looking to start with, I was
gonna compare it with Godzilla, which
is another movie that very similarly
has influenced a lot of other movies.
Um, And that is currently at number 23.
Emily: Godzilla is objectively more.
Ben: Godzilla was things.
Pound for pound being asked,
what is the better movie?
Godzilla or Halloween, I'm
giving it up to OG Godzilla.
I would say I think that is a more
enjoyable watch in the year 2022.
With both of those films having influenced
in or created and spawned entire genres.
I think Godzilla is still the more
enjoyable watch in its own right.
Without that context, just movie to movie.
I, I agree.
Similarly, I'm, it's very close to
me between that and Annihilation,
which is the next one down.
Ben: I think I might put it between
like The Mummy and First Purge.
For me, very close to where Emily has it,
maybe a few, like a few rankings Butler,
Emily: I would put it above Scream
because scream wouldn't exist without it.
Jeremy: I mean, it's, that's
scream for that matter.
it does feel
fitting for them to be together.
I do think that it is a better, well,
actually no, hell Razr two, I think
Jeremy: there's a lot I
like about Hell Razr two.
I mean, I think famously I was
the one who was like, I like this
better than the first Hell Razr.
Ben: Hell Razr two has grown on me as
I've had some distance where now I'm just
being like, well I feel like when I just
watched it, I was being like, oh, there's
a lot that was slow and I wasn't into,
but now that I hadn't just seen it like a
few hours before we did to talk about it.
Just more remembering like, when
did the movie was good because
when it was good it was real good.
I mean I would still put
Halloween above hell razor two.
I think for me it's just a question of
what side of Demonn night it goes on.
Ben: I definitely enjoy Demonn Night more,
but it definitely feels weird ranking.
John Carpenter below Crypt Keeper.
Emily: We cannot put it past Ba
Black Swan, so I'm comfortable
putting it above Demonn night.
I just, you know, I would watch
Demo Demon Night in a Heartbeat
before I'd watch Halloween again.
Ben: Halloween is without a
doubt the more important film.
But like you said, if someone
asks, Hey, do you want to put
on Halloween or Demon Night?
It's Demonn night every
single fucking time.
Jeremy: It works the other way for
me with Black Swan, which is like,
if somebody was like, do you wanna
watch Halloween or Black Swan?
It would always be Halloween for me.
But I mean, black Swan is
Black Swan about things.
Jeremy: It's a commitment.
Putting on Black Swan is starting
a relationship, you know?
Ben: I mean, it just
rips off Perfect Blue.
Emily: I mean, we have the Babadook
pretty high and I certainly am probably,
Ben: I stand by that.
I stand by Babadook.
Emily: No, I, I, I also Baba also
stand by that slaps, but I'm not
gonna watch Babadook a bunch.
I'm not gonna be like,
Hey, let's hang out.
Watch Babadook like,
Ben: Yeah, but Baba Duke,
I don't wanna watch.
Not because it doesn't work,
it's because it's just that scary
and intense like, yeah, I feel.
hell, there are slashers we are going to
talk about right after this that like, I
think are gonna be ranked significantly
higher, that are still like, I don't
know, I feel like the slashers on
not right after, not right after, but
coming up like, yeah, I don't know.
Like does this slasher have that
kind of thematic depth and weight
or is it just a genre predisposed
to like the fun side of horror?
Jeremy: Yeah, I think it can be both,
but I, I don't really think Halloween
is it's just sort of the best
built machine version of that thing.
I, that's, I do love Laurie Strode.
Not as much as some of the people
we'll talk about shortly, but
yeah, I think, I think above Demonn
Knight is probably good for me.
That would be at number 27
Ben: right now.
Well, let's do it.
Jeremy: 48th entry, which uh,
will probably not be moving
too much further up from that.
It is Friday the 13th,
number one from 1988.
Ben: Oh no, that is going
damn near the bottom.
That is in like, I hated like
that first Friday the 13th.
I mean, it wasn't grossly
offensive, like don't breathe.
But I think we're in bad hair
craft, legacy territory for sure.
Emily: I would put it above cabin
in the woods because cabin in the
woods is more, more problematic and
ha and also should have known better.
Jeremy: I don't think Kevin in the
woods is more problematic for me.
Like, I mean the people associated
with it certainly can be, but
like, yes, Freddy the 13th is the
precedent for the kind of stuff that
we don't like in cabin in the world.
Ben: It is the original.
Let's combine murder with sexual
exploitation of teenagers.
Emily: So maybe between cabin in
the woods and drag me to hell.
Ben: I'm good with that.
Jeremy: It's gotta be below,
drag me to hell from me.
Ben: Um, okay.
Like, I'd, I'd rank it below
between resident evil and bad hair.
That's what I, yeah.
I was thinking, okay.
How's the like this is so fucking fat.
Stupid that I'm having like
that I'm laughing so hard.
Jeremy: Yeah, they're not good.
Ben: 13th, no Jelly Doggos.
Emily: I feel like we should
move President Evil up
above cabin in the woods.
Jeremy: Oh, I don't, I don't
think that's necessary.
Kevin in the woods.
C g I was much better if nothing else.
. That's true.
Emily: Was watching.
It was better crafted.
And it had Bradley Woodford,
so I give a credit for that.
Emily: Maybe above.
Drag me to hell then.
But you know, this is not
what we're doing today.
We're we're talking about new movies.
Now this one should be quite a
bit different because after that
we talked about the original
nightmare on Elm Street.
This is, oh, this really, this is
my favorite of the slasher movies,
of the, the long term slasher.
Oh, without a doubt.
Emily: gonna put that one for sure.
Between Demon Knight and Black Swan.
That love Yeah.
That low for,
Emily: I'm gonna say that.
I'm, I'm, Swear I am.
Because all these movies above
are like cool movies about shit.
And Friday the 13th is
about oh, they did explode.
Johnny Depp in that movie,
Ben: they explode.
I can't put, it
Jeremy: affects the, like,
him coming through the wall.
Ben: I think for me it's
between Velvet Buzzsaw and the
dissent in that like 1920 spot.
I can give you that.
I can, I can see
Ben: Jeremy, how you feel.
I would Where are you
feeling in your rankings?
Jeremy: I would, ugh,
Ben: I would, because after that we
starting to get like a girl walk light
alone, Knight the Vivic Heller aliens
trying to get into the real good stuff.
I don't think,
Emily: uh, Friday the, or excuse me,
that nightmare on Emel Street is better
than the girl walks home alone at night.
I trouble ranking it above
Girl Walks Home alone at night.
Jeremy: I love this movie.
For me, it would be above the Vivic.
I know that's not what
you guys feel about it.
I know you do love that Vivic.
Emily: I know, I know.
It is the Viv the The
Witch has its issues.
Ben: It's the one where you get
to live deliciously, though.
Don't you want no live deliciously?
Which really sounds
like a Starburst slogan.
Emily: I'm surprised that they haven't
already capitalized on that, but
Ben: Just fucking goats telling
people to eat Starbursts.
It's a million dollar
marketing idea For real?
I think for, for me personally,
like as far as how much I like it,
I would put it above hell razor.
But given that this is the progressively
horrified list, I'm willing to admit
that it probably belongs below.
It follows one side of the witch or the
other would be where I would have it.
Ben: I'll give you uh, the 17 spot
between, it follows and vivic.
Emily: I am not comfortable
placing it above.
Girl Walks home alone at night.
Ben: Definitely no lower than the 19 spot.
Like I let, like, I think we
put it above Velvet Buzz saw.
Emily: I definitely would put
it above Vel Velvet Buzz saw.
But and I do love
Ben: Velvet Buzz Saw, but yes.
What a fun trip down memory Lane
Jeremy: Can we split the difference
and put it between which and
Girl Walks Home alone at night?
Ben: think that, I think
that's a fair Split the baby.
I think we give it the number 18 slot.
Jeremy: That's definitely what
that, that's, that bit is definitely
about how you should split the baby.
That's what that means.
Emily: Friday the 13th, or
fuck his name is Freddy.
And this movie's called Friday.
I can't stop it.
Ben: that's why they need to make
like however many more they need
to make to get to a third one that
they can call like Freddy the 13th.
Emily: Yeah, well like they
had Freddie versus Jason.
Why didn't they call Freddie the 13th?
Oh, that, that's horseshit
Ben: probably cuz people probably,
cuz they're like, it's gonna make
way more money if we just tell
people it's Freddie versus Jason.
I guess why also what boring names
like it's Freddy and Jason and Michael.
I'm like, why are these all
people that are getting into
fights at a church potluck?
Jeremy: You know, who will
fight anywhere though is Chucky.
You can get a fight not
at a church potluck.
Ben: Uh, And he is our next choice.
Like, just like, why do Slashers have
like just the most boring first names?
Emily: Because they can be
anybody, but they can't,
Ben: they're gigantic murder zombies.
Emily: I mean, Jeffrey Chuck is a tiny
Ben: You know, he is a tiny
murder zombie, tiny murder girl.
Chuck is a personality.
I guess I'm really looking at Jason
and Michael Myers as the big mute,
lumbering, murder zombie type.
Emily: I'm just surprised that Mike
Meyers agreed, like on his actor's Guild
listing to continue being Mike Meyers.
I don't know if he was Mike Meyers
before the movie Halloween, but,
that was a bold move for him.
That's all I'm saying.
Ben: No I think he should have switched
the mask every movie and then you can
really like, just chart through the times.
Like, oh, wow, they're
doing a Reagan mask.
This ye this movie.
Jeremy: He's in a
janeway mask in this one.
Emily: Just inside out.
All right, now we are
onto child's play now.
The one that like, I think we all
liked more than we expected to.
I didn't watch
Ben: That's right.
I liked it, but I definitely have trouble.
Like, definitely in the like,
you know, that demonn night level,
Emily: I'm gonna put it below Hillary's
or too, because that's what I wanna do.
Jeremy: That makes, I would
actually put it, below Scream.
Ben: I agree.
I put it below them.
I put it below the Mummy.
Jeremy: Scream and Child's play are much
more comparable in that they are both
sort of, sort of comedy horror movies and
I think Scream is slightly better Made.
Ben: But The Mummy is every nineties
kids by Awakening, so that counts
as queer progressive points.
Jeremy: yeah, yeah.
as, as established previously
Ben: I'd, I'd put Child's
play between Mummy and First
Jeremy: Now let's talk about
the uh, new metal entry of our
uh, Of our slashers, we got saw,
where do we put sa and
how you feel about saw,
Ben: how do we feel if
James won, has too much fun.
Emily: I'm gonna put that one below.
Hell raiser too.
I'm putting everything below.
Hell raiser too, apparently.
Unless it's like good.
I mean, SA is good, but it's
not like, you know, I mean I
Jeremy: definitely like saw it better than
say a Crimson Peak or a black Christmas.
Jeremy: I'm running into a
little more trouble around
craft and ginger snaps though.
, I say, I'm gonna say I'd rank it, but
honestly be between, honestly between
Emily: those two.
Between the craft and ginger snaps.
That's what my heart
is telling me as well.
Which for the moment puts it at number 36.
Ben: For unanimous decision.
, we did it.
We agreed on a movie.
Emily: So far so good.
Other than Friday 13th, I mean,
fucking Nightmare on Elm Street.
They don't talk about
Elm Street enough anyway.
Ben: You just wanna call it Freddy
Krueger's murder Mayhem, man.
And then it's just like, no, it's
his nightmare on Elm Street as if
the street is the most important
Which they rarely mention.
Jeremy: Now here's one that I
think we're gonna have to scroll
back up for, because I loved it.
Never having seen it before we talked
about it on here, which is Ex Machina.
Ben: Oh yeah.
Ben: for bringing that one to us.
Oh, that's a who I, Ooh.
Who that's, that's, I'd break it.
That's a witch for me at least.
No, I, I'm putting that, I'm put that
like now I didn't see freaky, but
I'd put it above Hellrazor for me.
Emily: I would put it above freaky
because it's such a, such a fucking
Ben: good movie.
I, Ooh, hmm.
That's a tough one for me.
Cause I, I do love X mock and I, I also
love freaky probably more than where
it's actually placed right now, . But
it's a definitely above hell Razr.
So it's either above
or below freaky for me.
Emily: I would say
above, above freaky You.
Jeremy: is good.
Emily: I will put ex Machina above
freaky just for the fact that Ex
Machina had Vince Vaughn, or not
ex Machinima, the, the other one.
Freaky had Vince Vaughn and ex
Machina had like, Oscar Isaac.
Jeremy: That was an intense fucking movie.
Freaky is, again, I think that's one of
those cases where I would sooner watch
Freaky again than Watch Ex Machina,
but that's not an indication of quality
necessarily as much as just fun.
Um, Speaking of, of things that
are uh, fun and of questionable
quality, night Breed is next.
Emily: Oh, shit.
Well, it's definitely below Hell Raiser.
Jeremy: Definitely below
Definitely below hell raiser.
Jeremy: I would think probably below
Hell razor too, for that matter.
Emily: I would put it below Scream two as
Ben: much as I Yeah, definitely.
We're in the, we're in definitely
the Below Scream two territory,
which Keeping Up At Home is
currently off, I believe 40th.
No, scream Two is 41st.
Jeremy: Yeah, that puts it in uh, sort
of the questionable quality gay content
section with the Hunger and hell, Ben.
Ben: I would put it
Emily: above the Hunger because
it is definitely watchable.
I actually would put it
above Crimps and Peak.
Ben: But can we change the ranking
for hell Bent and the Hunger?
Jeremy: where you wanna swap 'em or
Ben: which direction?
Yeah, like swap like the
hunger and hell bent like, no.
How do we feel?
Do we feel No.
You liked hunger more than Hell.
We're keeping that ranking as
Jeremy: those Yeah, I am,
I'm with you on that one.
Yes, I'm with Emily on that
In that case then I guess nightbreed
between Scream two and the Hunger, I'd
say, I'm gonna put it, it's definitely
more or watchable than the Hunger.
I think I'm
Emily: gonna put it above Scream too.
I think it should be above Crimson Peak.
When we talk about quality, and this
is, this is how I'm ranking these,
like we have quality of presentation,
we have the quality of the conceit,
the quality of the idea, you know,
We have the, the, I I should
say in, in as presentation,
the quality of the execution.
And then, you know, the,
the progressive purpose
Jeremy: Crimson, peak and Night Breed
are such opposite ends of the spectrum
that like, it doesn't get much prettier
than Crimson Peak, but why are we
even watching it was nightbreed.
It's like, yeah, this is fucking wild.
it's poorly made and I don't know what
the hell's going on half the time, but
like, I mean, I, I kind of want to know
Emily: Yeah, like I feel like
Nightbreed is, incredibly fun to watch.
So I'm gonna put it actually between
Ben: the craft and it
has such good ideas, but.
just don't think it's a
super well executed like, I
Jeremy: mean, it's definitely
below ginger steps for me,
Ben: like, I mean, okay.
And I think Black Christmas.
Yeah, I def, I definitely
can't rank it above the craft.
Emily: Yeah, no, I'm not
putting Nire above the craft.
No, fucking, no Skippy.
But I was thinking between, I
Ben: put it on, I put it on one
side or the other, black Christmas.
Jeremy: So you both said the
Ben: other one side of
the other Crims and Peak.
That's what I put.
Like whether that's between Black
Christmas and Crims and Peak, or
between Crims and Peak and Scream too.
I don't know.
I think I'm more of a fan of Scream two,
like I'd probably put it below Scream
two myself, but I will defer to the.
Flowing judgment consensus of the un mind.
All right, so you're, which is your
one and only Eternals reference?
Jeremy: So Ben, you're
below Scream to Emily.
Your, you, you said
just above Ginger Snaps.
How about between, how about we put it
between Black Christmas and Crimson Peak?
Emily: That's what I yeah,
that's, yeah, I'm good.
where I would yeah's
Ben: my heart is telling me that I said
on, on either side of Crims and Peak.
I think it
Jeremy: would be, yeah, I feel
like in good conscience, I can't
put that past ginger snaps,
Emily: That's fair.
And black Christmas is more about
things, you know, I breed is gay
Ben: and all, but
Jeremy: all right, here's
a, here's a tough one.
Because after that we had Skylar
Partridge on to talk about
maybe the weirdest of this set.
Which Isperia The new one?
The new Supria, well, 2018 Susperia.
Emily: Well, I mean, it's
newer than the old one.
Whispery till the Swinton Witches
and till the Swinton playing an,
an old, the Holocaust survivor man.
Emily: think I'm gonna put that
shit above, like, right above
Black Swan like, it's a lot
more conceptual than hard candy.
But I don't, I don't wanna put it above
hard candy cuz like, I think there's
a rift between hard candy and black
Swan and I think Susperia lives there.
Jeremy: What do you think, Ben?
It's definitely in that like, gonna
fuck you up like, Tell that stuff.
I mean, whew.
That's a movie.
I'm not sure.
I've still fully processed Was long.
Yeah, there's a lot of that.
I kinda only had, only had
a few scenes that were good.
Like, I don't know, I think that maybe
like Above Black Candy, but I'm not
sure if I can put it above Annihilation.
Yeah, I would.
Emily: definitely wouldn't, I wouldn't put
Ben: it above.
Yeah, I think, I think maybe I'd
put it above hard candy, but I don't
think I'd put it above Annihilation.
Um, How about Ysy?
Jeremy: For me, I'm, I'm tempting to
go a little lower, but I think I think
Emily's probably right between Hard Candy
and Black Swan is a good place for it.
Um, it's the right neighborhood
because yeah, Ben, I think
you're aiming a little higher.
I'm aiming a little lower.
Ben: yeah, but that's our real like.
Heavy movie corner.
Jeremy: It's unlikely that I'd be,
we will be watching Susperia again.
Ben: why I was told us went in the old man
Emily: because she has range
Well that's the fucking truth.
She better be in that Constantine sequel.
That's how I know.
Emily: Are we getting Keanu
again for that or what?
Ben: What's happening?
Oh yeah, that's the deal.
But I really need Hilda back because her
Gabriel in that first movie is just like,
it's the only reason why all the gender.
It's so much gender.
Jeremy: I kind of want her
Gabriel to meet the current.
Alicia: Mm, yes.
Oh my God.
Emily: Did I tell you
what happened to me at
Ben: Rose City?
Jeremy: you did not tell us.
Emily: so I was Did you eat Lucifer?
Well, okay, so I was walking around just
in my, like, my jeans and my t-shirt.
Just like last day of show walking
around, doing my last minute my last
minute shopping and I go to this tea
booth, I think it's like absent and
tea or whatever, one of those cool tea
booths that you get at conventions that
have like fan-based tea blends, but they
always have like some cool ass blends.
So I've, I, I was getting some
and the lady there was wor who's
working the register, she looks at
me and she's like, you know what,
you would make a good Lucifer.
And I just had this moment of
like, that's the nicest thing
that anyone has ever said to me.
Ben: And I was saying like, I, that was
a pretty phenomenal thing to be told.
that's one hell of a compliment.
Emily: Well, I mean considering like the
whole, where my aesthetic is going . Like
I was like, oh my God, I'm gonna cry
Jeremy: Have you
guys watched all of the Sandman TV
I haven't watched all of it,
but I've seen the Unfer part and
Ben: I've, I mean, yes, and I've
seen it, and I mean much more of it.
Jeremy: I mean, this is not a
spoiler considering it's pretty
obviously what they're doing in the,
you know, in the setup for stuff.
But they, they end the season
with a little Lucifer cap too, so.
Ben: You get the good, good.
If you know, you, you get the prelude
Jeremy: to, to my favorite
Sandman story, so.
Ben: Oh, I do love that storyline.
Jeremy: then the season of
the MIS is the fucking best.
Ben: and then the Lucifer will
go down and open a club and then
they'll shake become ke Tom Ellis.
Oh wait, they'll become Tom Ellis.
And go on quirky and solve
mystery with the L lap.
D i I hate that, but only the ones
they have said, but only the ones
they have sexual chemistry with.
Emily: I mean,
Ben: you're, you're a Luci.
It's ave it's, I will say Lucifer
did very much end up becoming a
very, very fun supernatural crime
procedural with an identity in charm.
All of its own.
It is still nothing like the
Like, I think, I think they should
just call it like, The Devil
solves crimes or something like
they shouldn't have anything to do
Ben: with the comics.
It's Alicia, watch all of it.
Jeremy: And it was one
Ben: of those where, oh
yeah, it's su it's super fun.
It's a really enjoyable, fun show.
It is just super, like if you are
coming looking for like the tone
and scope of Sandman or something
in the Sandman universe, it's really
Jeremy: Well it was, it was interesting
to me cuz I checked in like early
in the first season and watched a
couple of episodes with her and I
was like, yeah, not gonna do this.
This is not, yeah, I'm
not know in, in this.
And then I sat down with her at one
point where she was in one of the last
couple seasons and I was like, oh.
So that's his ex-girlfriend Eve who is
now hooking up with The, you know, his,
his number two demonn and like God's
here and all this shit that's going on.
I was like, okay, this
is much better than the
Ben: the first three seasons were on Fox
and then four through six were on Netflix.
And with the Netflix seasons they
were really able to shift to like,
oh, what everyone is really into is
the celestial serialized plots and the
character development and romance arcs.
So we're really gonna focus on that and
really just have the murder of the week
be catalysts for those more in better
storylines instead of the murder of the
week supposed to be having to actually be
the main draw and thing in the episode.
Jeremy: The first few seasons
are much more like, Lucifer.
This helps solve law and order crimes.
And the last few seasons are much
more like Lucifer is in early Dexter.
Where it's like, this is kinda
what I was, the guy who's killing
people , is important to the plot.
He is somehow related to
Ben: Lucifer or it's much more like,
look, the murder does not even matter.
We're not even gonna pretend it matters.
This is just an excuse for like Lucifer
to work out his jealousy issues and
have some character development as he
misinterpreted psychological advice and
like puts his own hangups onto the case.
And once he has enough character
development, that will somehow
lead to him solving the case.
And it'll probably be the first
person they talk to, like in an
assistant or something like that.
Who did it like nine times outta 10.
It's like the person who introduces
them to, the first person they
talk to is the actual killer.
Emily: remember Millennium?
Jeremy: No, but you've talked about
Ben: it before.
I I Assume you're talking about the
Backstreet Boys album, in which case
No, she's talking about the show that used
to come on after X-Files, which was about
serial killers around the millennium.
Emily: Hendrickson was in the,
the, in like the lead role.
I, I can't let you get into that.
Cause the religious stuff translates
too well into us talking about
the next movie, which is the Goum.
Ben: Oh yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
Jeremy: The Goum, we watched it,
Ben: it was a movie.
Ben: maybe I put it above saw.
Jeremy: it's bad.
It's not something I have particularly
warm feelings toward though.
It's really just a movie that exists.
Like we really had to search
pretty fucking far to get any kind
of decent Jewish representation.
It's like, it's this and the Jewish
girl getting strangled by Christmas
lights and no one even notices
she's dead in black Christmas.
Emily: Yeah, I would
definitely, because we
Jeremy: had to put it
above black Christmas,
I'm gonna put it, I like,
I like where Ben is going.
I think I'm gonna put it
between saw and the craft.
I, I think I gotta put it just above black
Christmas below ginger snaps because Okay.
Ginger Snaps for me is
a much better movie.
Ben: I mean, it's definitely the movie
with the most dead dogs, like per minute.
Emily: Yeah, I'm, that's, that's the
only thing that hangs me up about
Ben: ginger snaps.
Jeremy: what I appreciate we'll
be talking about the thing before.
This is all over,
Ben: so What it, no, what makes,
normally you know me and I am very
sensitive to and hate anything
bad happening to dogs and movies.
It's always really funny in ginger snaps
because we never see dogs being killed.
We just see questionable quality
dead dog props throughout the movie.
And that makes it really funny that
it is just this endless parade of dead
dogs that are dead after the fact.
I suppose if you show me a living
dog becoming a dog, I'm in a bad,
like, no, I'm in a bad place.
If you just show me like eight
dead dogs just said various
random parts of the movie.
I'm into it.
, when there are so many dead
dogs that characters are
literally tripping over them.
I mean, okay.
I also very much a thing that happens
Jeremy: in Ginger Snap.
. I'm not into like dead,
dead pets in movies at all.
Especially dogs and cats.
But no, but that's what I'm
It doesn't show them as dogs and cats.
It just shows us, I'm like,
gooey, questionable quality props.
And they're like, you have
feelings about this prop.
I'm like, I kind of want you to put
it away and not make me look at it.
But other than that,
Ben: Like that's fair.
The dog getting straight,
getting its neck broken in.
Baba Duke still haunts
my fucking nightmares.
Ben: I could ginger's guys being like,
ah, the Ellis other pet got eaten.
What, awake Tuesday?
Is that my right
Jeremy: So, I mean, it sounds
like our debate is one side
or other of ginger snaps.
Ben: I can put it below ginger snaps,
just because I recognize Ginger
napps as I guess, I guess somehow an
iconic 21st century werewolf movie.
I meanly, I I
Jeremy: like the, the, you know.
Yes, they did.
Yes, they did say they certainly
Ben: ly . It's got good body horror.
It's got this, this early struggle.
Jeremy: it's certainly funnier than mego.
Nothing funny on the
I mean, yeah, maybe.
Maybe that's how I put Ari.
If someone was on and was like, Hey, do
you wanna watch Ginger snaps or the Goum?
I'm like, I'd probably rather
watch Ginger snaps again.
I would rather watch Ginger snaps
three times than watch the Goum.
It's like, oh, do I wanna watch
Jewish people being persecuted
and then everybody dying?
Emily: That's a good, that's a good point.
Ben: yeah, I'm like, let's
not watch the History channel
Jeremy: It's important.
Emily: just a part of the
history channel that doesn't
Ben: like flame aliens being persecuted
and then everything bad happens.
Do I wanna watch it?
Motherfuckers, I'm trying
my hardest not to live.
Jeremy: can reel.
All right, so we'll, we'll leave
that right below Ginger snaps and
we can move on to talking about
Naked San Naked Santa Clauses.
In rare exports.
A Christmas tale shit.
I think I blocked rare
exports from my memory.
Fuck you just unlocked.
I did it.
Emily: I didn't I am
going to put rare exports
Alicia: below Scream.
Jeremy: that would be
just above the Mummy.
Alicia: Oh, I
Ben: can't, right
Emily: below, below the Mummy.
Alicia: give you that.
Ben: The mummy I'll give you,
I'll give you that more coherent.
I I in no, in no world can I put
it above the Mummy, but I, I can
give you uh, right below the mummy.
One is about Christian religion
and one is about queer religion.
I can, I guess I can put rare
exports above child's play.
I mean, you just gotta appreciate
when in the Mummy they just open up
and read from the book of the thirst.
I mean the mummy's pretty racist,
Ben: but it's racist.
But the queer lens.
. It's like, and I know there's
no gay content, but like the
Mummy is gay the same way.
Like Liza Minnelli is gay.
Emily: Mummy is a better movie than rare
The Mummy is gay culture, you know?
Emily: Mummy is poor for gay culture.
Ben: It may not be of the
gays, but it is for the gays.
Jeremy: I think that's fair.
Gays a rare
Ben: puts 35.
I was in a panel where they talked
about she Hulk feeling like a
queer character even though the
character isn't queer and I get it.
I've only seen couple the episodes
Ben: Gay audiences fucking love.
There's the glamor that she is a character
that blends masculine feminine, but
is also just super fucking glamor.
Like there is just like
drag inherent in it.
Like she, like she hulk as Jennifer
Walter's permanent drag identity, I
think is a real reading of the character.
Emily: Oh, I like that.
Yeah, I can see
This is gonna seem like a, a weird
transition, but it absolutely works.
Speaking of drag, how about gremlins?
I'm gonna put gremlins, right?
Just like between, yeah.
Between ver exports and child's play.
Alicia: I think
Emily: the gremlins like that.
I think the gremlins,
I'll say that Gremlins.
Ben: I like that our Christmas
Jeremy: together exports, but.
Emily: Oh, no.
Yeah, we could put gremlins
above rear exports.
I, I'd rather see gr Yeah, I'd,
I'd, I, I agree with that ranking.
That feels right to me.
Jeremy: Gremlins and the mommy also feel
like they belong together for some reason.
You're gonna have to ex you're
gonna have to elaborate on that one.
Jeremy: I don't, I don't know why.
Something about the, like threatening,
totally non-threatening nature of all
the, the threats in both of those things.
Ben: Again, nothing will ever make
me laugh harder than like, how could
this monster attack it any worse?
The monsters got a gun.
Like, I think about that
at the least once a week.
monsters with guns.
Emily: It's got a gun.
No, I, I, I think gremlin's
above rare exports for sure.
I think I have tr I think mommy
is still like that wall, but yeah.
Gremlin's at the 35 spot.
Jeremy: Well, speaking of monsters
with guns, the next one up is better.
Emily: Better watch out, better
Alicia: watch out, better
Ben: watch out.
Jeremy: fucking kid.
Home alone with murder.
And uh, I don't know how you
would even categorize this kid.
A tiny sister.
I'm gonna let
Ben: you, I'm gonna let y'all
start with your rings before I
start taking some big swings.
Emily: I'm gonna belo, I'm
gonna below scream too.
So we're in the same territory.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, we are, fuck.
I might put that below repo.
Emily: Yeah, I did enjoy the
characters of blood and donuts more,
Ben: but it's also to see
actually the, I will say I love
the poster to blood and donut.
I love who doesn't donut.
It implies that the donuts are
going to be a bigger role than
they like play a bigger role.
Well, they're in it.
They were there.
Jeremy: They're part of it.
They also ran, I,
Ben: it's, for me, I think that
poster makes it sound like it is
going to be, it's a Canadian movie.
It makes it look like it is going
to be about a vampire pursuing his
dream of opening a pastry shop.
Alicia: watch that.
I mean, isn't it though?
Ben: I don't know if
blood and donuts is about
Blood and donuts is about a
vampire's dream of opening
a, a pastry shop's waitress.
But then there, and it's consensual
Ben: psychic milk baths.
Consensual psychic penis opening.
Oh, that sounds
with the Paris.
Ben: Even with the consensual,
like, I don't like that.
Jeremy: No, no, no, no, no.
I don't, I don't know.
That is tough for me because the
kid is so good at being horrible.
Ben: it's a good performance.
It's just a movie that makes me so angry.
But like, it makes you angry and
like, I don't know, ways that, to
some, some extent, point out stuff
that's fucked up about the world.
Ben: Like, I know, but it's like even Game
of Thrones had the decency to kill off
Joffrey and lettuce and like revel in it.
Emily: I would put it between blood
and donuts and cabin in the woods.
And that's my final answer.
Jeremy: I mean, it's definitely
higher than that for me.
Ben: I'll give, I would definitely,
I definitely put, you know what it
is, it does have good performances.
It is like, I could give it
between scream, between below
Scream two and above the Hunger.
I could do that.
Emily: I, no,
Jeremy: I might even, I would maybe
say we can split the hunger in hell
bent because Hellbent is a slasher.
It is super gay, but also it's
not particularly well made
Jeremy: watch out other than their
lack of knowledge of where doorknobs go
is, is pretty well made . Alright, so
that'll put that at 48 for the moment.
We're chucking right through here.
Now this, here's one that's gonna truly
be hard to place the the hot topic
hop seller nightmare before Christmas.
Resell the man in himself.
Ben: is, where do you put a
near damn, near perfect movie?
Emily: That's whew, let us put it,
Ben: I mean, that's gotta be,
I think I might put it right
above Anna on the apocalypse.
Emily: Yeah, I was gonna put
it above Jennifer's body.
Ben: no one, I, I would even
know, I might, you know, I might
even agree with you putting it
above Jennifer's body, like Yeah.
It is such like, it says perfect
a film as I think exists.
Emily: I might even put
it above ready or not.
Ben: I mean, it's, it's a contend death.
Emily: I don't think it's
promising Young woman hits so hard.
Ben: It's so hard.
Like, promising young woman
hits with the force of a fucking
So I think, I think I'm
gonna, I'm gonna cut it off.
Like, promising young woman is a,
is a big, like, cutoff there, I
think when night before Christmas.
It's a w it's a weird one to be
between Promising woman are ready
or not, but it's in its own,
Ben: like it's own, I talk about
like, you know, catharsis and endings.
Like, you know that fucking
what's, you better watch out?
Well, I'm like, I feel like
they're trying to be subversive.
If they're ending of like, and then the
evil guy gets a evil little kid gets away
with it and I feel like promising young
woman is like an actual, like, subversive
ending that just fucking bulls you over.
Like, that's as, as unforgettable an
ending as I've ever seen in a film.
Holy, like holy fuck, promising
young woman hits like a track.
Jeremy: Yeah, I I definitely would
not put this and put nightmare before
Christmas Above promising young woman.
I am conceptually having a difficulty
with putting Nightmare before
Christmas above Aliens, which is
just below in, in the apocalypse.
But night before Christmas,
despite it's writers' many issues
does not have brown face in it.
Emily: That's true.
Can pull that.
That's very true.
Jeremy: I don't know.
I, I think for me still, between
Jennifer's body and Anna and the
apocalypse would be where that would go.
Ben: You know what movie Surprising
as Brown Face, two thousands.
Can berry more just a
face full of brown face.
I watched that the other week with
some friends thinking like, I remember
being that being a fun action spy
adventure movie . And it was not, it no.
Was a bad film.
And at first I'm like, oh, do you
remember where disguised says LL Cool J?
Well it is played by LL Cool J, so
I don't know if that's played by
bla if that counts as blackface.
Hardy Har Har with the Pal and then
like 20 minutes later, drew Barry
Moore just walks in and like an
actual legit no ambiguity brown face.
Emily: Yeah, let's I mean, anyway, back to
the actual, I'll concede, I will concede
my ranking of Nightmare before Christmas
because putting something between ready
or not and promising young woman that is
night before Christmas seems really whack.
But I feel like putting Nightmare
before Christmas next to Anna, the
apocalypse feels a little bit more like.
Thematic, you know?
Does it feel like it's like you're
getting, this is just that side
Jeremy: of the top 10, which
feels like I remember before
Christmas, doesn't, doesn't maybe
belong in the top 10 of this list,
It is not the most progressive film and,
you know, if they just leaned a little bit
harder into the vampire molecule, maybe.
I mean, you know, the message
of Nightmare before Christmas is
stay in your lane, but . Yeah.
So, we'll, we'll put that just outside
of the top 10 there, and we'll talk
about a movie that definitely doesn't
belong in that part of the list.
That being Alien three
Ben: Oh boy, alien three.
That is let's start
scrolling down a little bit.
Sears um, filmed by the
filmmaker, David Fincher.
Ben: You know, I, than
that not everyone's ahead.
I'd say uh, between craft and saw, maybe
Jeremy: I, I wouldn't even go that high.
Ben: I would,
Emily: yeah, I was thinking about it.
I would, I was gonna go
Jeremy: that last 10 minutes
of running through endless
tunnels really just wore on me.
Ben: it's a lot of fucking tunnels.
Emily: I can too.
I'll put it between Ginger snaps and saw.
Ben: Yeah, I can see.
I mean, sa does have the raw energy
of James Juan just like, I mean, God,
it's like I can't take Jay like a saw
seriously as a horror movie because I
know like, oh, it's go and it's intense.
But I'm like, but I just know James won
was, had the energy of a fucking golden
retriever the whole time making this movie
And I feel that golden retriever energy
where he is like, wee, look, I shot John
Donald Glover with my trip wire shotgun.
Oh, I'm having a ball.
Jeremy: It's just, just picture.
James Juan is like what's his name?
Syndrome and the Incredibles.
Ben: Oh yeah, imagine James
Juan just sitting like Donald
Glover and Ken Longdon.
Like just to show him like
notebook after notebook page.
Like with the excitement of a six
year old, just showing him all of
his ideas for various def traps.
No, James, we need a plot.
Alicia: Well what about this one?
If like takes
Emily: your, press your head open your
teeth, come out one by one and each one
is part of a piano that sings a song
Ben: about, you guys
Jeremy: saw that movie
This is called Ham
That's where James Smash got
too, like malignant and it's like
James one, do you have a plot?
And it's like, yes.
It's like, could you not?
And it's like, no, I'm gonna do this plot.
I'm like, okay, here's all the money.
We've stopped asking questions,
Emily: so yeah, I'm gonna put Alien
three betweens and ginger snaps.
Jeremy: All right.
That works for me.
Puts up number 42 for the moment.
Emily: I don't have to, I have to reload.
I hit that refresh button
to get the movies going.
The fuck did
Jeremy: brings us to our black
History Month for last year was
started of course, with Blaa.
That movie, what it was, the movie
not gonna be ranked very hard Sure.
Was a film.
I'd put it between Hell
Bent and Better Watch Out.
Emily: I put it above Better Watch.
Even 50 right now is where that
Ben: put it.
I can, I I I can dig that.
I certainly had more fun with Blaa
I would put Blaa Above The Hunger.
Ben: I'm down for that, but between, yeah.
You know, you're right.
I, you're right.
I totally enjoyed Bla more.
Definitely not above screen too.
But I definitely had fun with
Black yo in a way that I did
not have fun with The Hunger.
Jeremy: We wanted to have fun
with the Hunger, but was not
allowed to by the film itself.
Ben: Oh, sure.
At least this, we got young Willam Defo.
I was like, street tough outside
Emily: phone booth.
I always forget about that and I get sad
cuz I'm like, I wanna look at him again.
But then it, I don't,
Ben: don't wanna watch the movie.
Emily: I don't wanna
watch the movie again.
Jeremy: I'm noticing something here.
Did we, we didn't do a full episode on it.
But did we want to speaking of
as, as we have did we wanna rank
malignant in here somewhere?
If we ever come back and do
Ben: a full episode, I reserve,
I reserve the right, yeah.
Cuz I reserve the right for us to
do a full episode on malignant, like
whenever malignant two inevitably
happens and we don't wanna get that
sweet, sweet algorithm synergy.
Oh, there you
Is there gonna be a uh, a
I don't know.
It, it just felt so of that new
trend we've seen, we've heard of all
James ones the horror movie, like
the horror movie as superhero origin.
So let's let's, let's pass
on malignant right now.
Jeremy: All right.
Now one thing we have not
talked about, let me see if
they pop up when I look here.
Cause we did do a full episode about them.
So, uh, devil Man, volume one, the birth
Jeremy: where do we put Devilman?
Volume one, the birth?
Emily: Right next
Ben: to we're gonna like
above Jennifer's body.
Emily: No, absolutely not.
Jeremy: I'm actually
looking around where repo
Yeah, I would agree.
I think, I mean, I.
I think it's better than better Watch out.
I think it's better than Hell Bent.
I think it would be really funny to
put it between the Hunger and Bula and
I, I also think that it's accurate.
Ben: I can dig, I can,
I can vibe with that.
I can vibe with that ranking.
Like I definitely enjoyed it
more than like Repo or hell Ben.
Like it has fun animation.
It's pretty fucking weird and fucked.
But yeah, I like the idea of
that being right after Bula.
Emily: Yeah, like Double Man birth
and Demon Bird should be right
next to each other, and they should
be between the Hunger and Bula.
Ben: Now what do you rank more?
The birth or the birth?
The devil birth.
Well, actually, I don't know
Emily: now the birth because it has
more of like a coherent story to it.
Whereas Demon Bird has like two
little episodes of stuff and
then it doesn't, and then like,
Jeremy: I don't know, man.
I kind of like demon bird better
just because there's so many
weird monster designs that aren't
just angry vaginas in that one.
Emily: Everyone's an angry vagina.
Jeremy: That's the, although that
does have, I appreciate how the
birth weird, actual, that does have
all the weird objectification of
what's her face in there, Becky?
I like how the birth actually feels like
a kind of a workable movie on its own.
It has a real beginning, middle, and end.
Like there's an arc, it's an origin.
And then Devil Bird is a lot like,
we have a few arcs and we just
did 'em and put 'em in one thing.
Which is what I mean.
I love Siren.
The Yeah, the Mickey stuff is
Jeremy: kind of Mickey Mcara,
Emily: that's her name.
Maki Mickey Mcara, which is one
of the best names in comics.
Jeremy: Yeah, we al we almost
skipped right over Devil Man.
How, how could we outta shame ? Cause
it's it's way out of order and when
we recorded it and when it came out.
Alicia: Did we miss,
Jeremy: we missed your
Emily: is that the one, is
Alicia: that the one that's
Jeremy: the one where the rich man hires
a bunch of people to kill his family and.
Does not let his girlfriend
know beforehand, and she
murders all of the murderers.
Ben: It's, it's not a great sign
that I had to Google it and to
like remind myself of what it was.
I'm putting it between blood and
Emily: blood and donuts
and cabin in the woods.
Jeremy: It's way above that for me.
Emily: I, I can't put it, but
Ben: Well, hmm.
It just like, it's definitely
a competent horror film, like
well done and stuff like that.
But like I'm, I definitely couldn't put
it higher than gremlin's, I don't think.
Jeremy: does take a blender to that
girl's head, like a full on blender.
Emily: I don't, that's why I'm
putting it next to cabin in the woods.
Ben: No, I definitely, no, I
definitely, no, I definitely put it
above like blood and donuts repo.
It's closer to the saw
neck of the woods for me.
Ben: Yeah, I'd.
, I'd probably put it between Oof.
I put it on maybe one side of Alien three.
Emily: This is, I will say,
Jeremy, I'm really happy with that.
You found the proper images?
Jeremy: For the birthing demon
Alicia: birth letter box, man.
Because these are the ones do
really well these are the ones
that were the subtitled ones.
Jeremy: Anyway, so we'll put
it above Alien three then.
Cause I would put it above saw
maybe, but you're saying one
side or the other of alien three.
So I think 42 is a good spot for me.
I, I feel so neutral about that
movie that I'll just say whatever.
Jeremy: It's definitely a movie
that like when you're watching
it, you're like, fuck yeah.
And then a month later you're
like, did I watch that movie?
It is competent.
. It's not, it's not as problematic.
Like that's another thing about it is
that it's not, it does not like get super
Jeremy: fucking problematic.
Watching Ty West take a crossbo
bolt to the chest is pretty good.
oh her Wolff, it's short.
Oh, are we doing the
Jeremy: Are we doing the shorts?
I think we should Especially ha
Wolff, which I think was head and
shoulders above the other ones.
So to speak.
Aol, I would put hella high actually.
Emily: hair wolf.
I would put,
Jeremy: it's like top 20 material for me.
I think hair wolf, I
would put like on one.
Jeremy: would put hair wolf so quick.
It's so punchy and it gets out of there.
Emily: I would put it,
Especially like, I know it's a
short, but like, it's real good.
Emily: I'm, I'm thinking my heart.
I'm following my heart here.
I'm going with my gut and it's
gonna be on one side of your head.
Sorry, which one?
Jeremy: Your heart or your
gut, which one is that?
Are you going They're,
Emily: they're the same.
The, the heart that burns,
Jeremy: Way to your heart is through your
Ben: That's, I think
I might rank it above.
A girl walks home alone at night.
Emily: putting it either on one
side or the other of after midnight.
Jeremy: Okay, so I, you're talking
Ben: around 25.
I I definitely, I definitely put
it above dissent, maybe between
Velvet Buzz on the diss descent.
See, my first implication was
right below the original Hell
Razor, which you put it at 17.
Just above noir.
It follows, I mean, I
Ben: am, I'm a big fan of that
one, so like, I could, I'm not sure
where I put it compared to like,
nightmare on Elm Street or the Viv.
Emily: I think it's better than
Girl Walks home alone at, or it's,
it's, it could go on either side of
the girl walks home alone at night.
I, I'd rank it right above that.
Right above Garlock,
something alone at tonight.
Jeremy: All right.
I can take that.
The, the next one is Eased Bayou,
Emily: Ooh, that's a good one.
Ben: one that was
incredibly a horror movie.
Emily: Eve's Bayou.
I am putting between Ready or
Not and Promising Young Woman
Well, that's very
That's very, it's so Eve's Bayou I feel
very hard to rank because I feel like
it's a drama with some spooky elements,
much more than any kind of horror film.
I, okay, so how about,
Ben: how about this?
It feels hard to, it just feels very
hard to rank by any of the normal ranking
I think we should put it on one
side or the other of horror noir.
Ben: I like that.
Jeremy: that makes sense to me.
Ben: It's got this tone of just like
creepy, disturbing this in Ex Machina
that Eves Bayou doesn't have of, its
very like romantic wide shots of this
like very scenic, like of the Bayou.
Like it's, yeah, there's a slow
methodicalness of the location
and the movie that again,
works very well for the plot.
It's a very good movie.
But compared to just this like
overwhelming sense that like
everything is off that Ex Machina
has that like makes it feel much
more like a horror movie, I think.
Emily: Yeah, I think Machin has, has
more of the, the a 24 horror vibe.
Like ex Machin was a 24 before a 24
unless X It was actually actually a 24.
I dunno, I'm talking about it was a 25, a
It was just before
Ben: three five Ex
Maite is in fact an A 24
So ves Bayou, is it above or
below horror or what do we think?
Jeremy: think above.
Ho No, actually yeah.
References it pretty okay then.
Emily: That sounds good.
Jeremy: All right, let's
let's knock a couple of these short
ones out real quick because no face any,
I don't think has to go up very high.
Emily: No face Benny.
Ben: Oh, I don't even remember this one.
Emily: I would put that
just above bad hair.
I mean, for me, for me no face,
Benny, which is the story about a man
talking to maybe himself about this
evil father and burning somebody.
It's difficult to remember.
For me that's really like just between
craft legacy and don't breathe cuz don't
breathe as act actively offensive to me.
Yeah, words are just bad.
Emily: No face.
Benny just doesn't have anything
happening in it and it's
really unclear what's going on.
So I think that's why I
would put it above bad hair
Jeremy: bad hair.
Really fumbles that ball.
Ben: I uh, am in, I'm in agreement.
Jeremy: All right.
And then we have uh, the wake
about the girl who kills her dad
and wishes herself a husband.
And the husband is evil.
Emily: I'm gonna put
that just above hellbent
cause that works for me.
Cause some bullshit.
Ben: it definitely had some cool
ideas and concepts like that I think
actually could have been really
interesting in a full length movie.
But I don't know, maybe I'm
just not predisposed to like get
too much outta the short films.
But unless it's something as good
as Hair Wolf is like, , it's kinda
hard for it to make an impression.
The only other one I feel like that
really made an impression on us is
the fourth one, which is blood runs
down about the uh, girl whose mom
is maybe a ghost visiting her and
Emily: and there's some sort of abuse
Jeremy: possibly demons involved in that.
Emily: yeah, I'm gonna put that one up.
I think that's gonna be up in
the the Black Swan Susperia area.
That's where I'm headed.
Because it's not as astute as hard
candy, but I think it's a little
bit more profound than Susperia.
Jeremy: I think it, it does more
with what it has than Susperia does.
Ben: Susperia does nod a lot
with so much screen time.
Jeremy: All right.
I think we're in agreement there.
There's two more.
Emily: Us, okay.
Oh, such a good
So US is gonna be up in the top.
Jeremy: US is very high for me.
Ben: Oh yeah.
Us like, I probably put us above bit.
I put us above mayhem.
I'll give you that.
I think between Mayhem and Alien.
I'll give you that.
Us us is Woo.
I did not expect for uh, Me to like, hear
you guys where you put us and be like,
but yeah, I, I think I'm with you guys.
So I think I generally, I still
Ben: gotta see.
Really gotta see.
Emily: I haven't seen Nope yet.
I really wanna see.
Jeremy: So we put, are we putting
us at number five above mayhem?
Ben: We are putting up, we
are putting us at number five.
We've got a new film and
I cracked the top five.
Jeremy: Well, and this one might be
one that's up there as well because
it's original is up here and it is.
Next up is Candyman.
Emily: definitely, that's,
I would put that above
Nia DeCosta, Candyman.
Emily: New Candyman I would
put between like just below.
Ben: I don't think I like it more than us.
It's like, I Think for me it's on
one side or the other of mayhem.
I think definitely above bet.
Jeremy: I think for me
it would be above mayhem.
Emily: I also feel very passionately
about it because of the artists,
cuz there's the fine art stuff.
Jeremy: The profound twist on
the Candyman legacy in there
is really, it is incredible.
Y'all are gonna talk me into
ranking this above us, aren't ya?
Jeremy: I don't know, man.
I feel like if it goes above us,
it's almost gotta go above alien.
Ben: I, I can't put it above Alien.
I can't go.
I can't put it above Alien.
Put it over Alien.
Let's go with six then.
We'll leave us at number five.
Um, Candyman is such a beautiful film too.
It's so well shot.
It's got those big beautiful deep
shots that Ne Acosta does where there's
stuff going on in the foreground,
in the background and everything.
It's really good.
Such a good movie.
Ben: And, and every actor is just
bringing it like yeah, like Yaya a
Martin The second is so charismatic
and he has a dynamo in that role.
Like he is such a compelling lead
Jeremy: and then sometimes so
hard to watch and some of the
stuff that he's doing in there.
Oh God, that's a great segue.
Speaking of hard to watch,
the next one we have is.
Ben: Oh shit.
Okay, that's, where do we put the
French Serial killer car, baby
Firefighter, trans question mark.
one is, I don't even
Jeremy: know that one.
I don't even know where to
begin ranking this movie.
Ben: I'm gonna say
Emily: maybe it goes over there.
I know this is a, this is an audio
medium, but I'm pointing to a
direction opposite of my computer.
Ben: I don't know, like, I
feel like we gotta go back to
our Susperia Black Swan Town.
Emily: I think it's below that.
Cuz that movie is fucking weird
Ben: and it's so
Like it's, it's not
incomprehensible and i's
Ben: you enjoy that
where I'm like, I know.
I feel like there's a lot that has to be
good, but it's a really Fran French and.
We've talked about movies where like,
oh, I probably wouldn't see it again.
Or there's other movies.
I'd rather see it again.
I got one for you.
I guess maybe it was good, but
this is one where I'm like, I
would not wanna see it again.
If someone's like, Hey,
I'm gonna butt that on.
I'm like, I'm gonna put Teton on.
I'm gonna be like, then I'm going to leave
I mean, this is the
one that I most regret.
Just asking somebody to come
on for, cuz like t volunteering
to just watch whatever.
And me being like, what about this
fucking weird French thing I heard
about and t just coming out being like,
what the fuck did you make me watch?
Ben: T was such a phenomenal guest.
T took that weird ass movie and
handled it like such a champ.
She got so much energy
and fun to that episode.
It was wonderful.
I have two options.
Hear me out.
One Between The Hunger and
Devil Man, the Demonn Bird.
Two Between Repo and Blood and Donuts.
Ben: We put it between
the, the Devilman movies.
Just a Fuck with things.
I mean maybe actually no, no, no, no.
That's dumb Don't break
up the Devil Man movies.
Emily: What happened between them?
Well, there's a chapter in the manga.
Very little, little, no chapter
of the Devilman Monga by Gona guy
work and GNA guy would absolutely
Jeremy: draw this shit.
Oh, GNA guy would love the
hell out of this movie.
I'm feeling . Oh my God.
I feel like
Ben: a hundred percent.
Emily: Oh yeah.
I just, I, it's so whack.
But I feel like Teton is not as
good as the wake, so I think I might
have to, yeah, I think I'm gonna go
towards uh, between blood and donut
donuts and repo, the genetic opera.
I think like it is repo adjacent.
Jeremy: like it above, I would
definitely put it above than repo.
I, I would put it above
Ben: the Devil man.
I would definitely put it
above hell, Ben, for sure.
So between Wake and Hell, Ben,
Ben: what about you, you were saying above
I, I've got it above Devilman.
Ben: not . I would put it above the,
I would put it above the hunger.
Emily: I, I can.
Jeremy: I can split that below.
The Devilman movies is fine.
Emily: Devilman has better
Ben: Uh, Say those
Emily: two veteran laws
doesn't count it's cannon.
Jeremy: I don't, I don't know about that.
Ben: O o n n.
It is Cannon
Emily: girl, girl.
Giving birth to, to cyber
baby after fucking a truck.
But then also pretending.
Listen, that sounds
Ben: so much like something
that would be in Devilman.
Emily: I'm sorry.
I know, I know.
How do we feel about people being
cured of aphorism by getting a blood
transplant from a normal human?
Emily: I think we're gonna make a
little devilman sandwich, my friends
Jeremy: You wanna put near dark
between the Devilman movies?
No, no, no,
Emily: no, no.
Between BLA and Devilman
because I don't know.
Actually Near dark is kind of
slaps, but I don't think it slaps.
Ben: I'm gonna say, you know, I
can't believe I'm on this side.
I'd rank Devilman above near.
Jeremy: I'll hard, but occasionally
it just misses when it's yes, slapping
so hard that it misses for
every, every, every third beat.
Ben: for like as much as it's Lance
Hendrickson being like just a Stone
Cold boss, it's a lot of like Adrian
Paar and what's her face being in
like, I don't know what feels like
a church Morality, play romance,
Emily: you know?
How about this?
Between Tain and Devil Man is near Dark
Ben: Dark I would watch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'd put him up to Tain.
Emily: I very much appreciate, and
this is how I know that you're my true
friend, is I very much appreciate that
you put Devil Man above near Dark.
Cuz I had, I know so many people would
be like, but then just on the fact
that it's anime cuz they're anime, but
Ben: like, well no, the anime,
that's what ranks it above.
I'm like, there's just so much more
interesting visuals and ideas and.
Yeah, just imagery going on in Devil Man.
Jeremy: If there were more
angry vaginas in your dark, it
would be much more interesting.
Emily: Oh boy, is what
I'm talking about there.
Jeremy: Here's a tough question.
Where the fuck do we rank?
Ben: Definitely above supe for me.
Emily: good call.
Is it that high for you?
Ben: I think so, yeah.
I'd say Nightmare Alley is, I guess
I own a on one side or the other of.
Blood runs down or hard candy?
Emily: I would put my Emory Alley
between Susperia and Black Swan.
I'll, I'm with you there.
I definitely enjoyed
it more than Halloween.
I, I enjoyed, I enjoyed it
more than Black Swan, I think.
I also enjoyed Nightmare Alley
more than, than Black Swan.
Ben: Or I, sorry, Jeremy,
you're getting uploaded on this.
Jeremy: Nightmare is, is problematic
on this list just because it,
it's so not a horror movie.
Ben: Oh yeah.
No, that's true.
And I, and I did knock Eve's Bayou a
bit for that, so I got, I gotta be fair.
Emily: Eves Spa you again?
Jeremy: Quite a bit higher
than this, I believe.
Used Bayou as well.
It is a very
Ben: good movie.
It it is a very good movie.
Emily: You spy is very good.
Jeremy: Yeah, not, not pretty good.
I don't have anything
against Nightmare Alley.
It just, what Nightmare had
Ben: knock my sock go for it is that
it's last seen as its best scene
and it's always good to end strong.
I can put it above Hall.
I can split the difference
in, but it above Halloween.
We can put it between Black Swan and
Halloween, like right after Black Swan.
And acknowledgement of Black
Swans more legit horror bonafides.
Jeremy: Well, nightmare Alley is part
of the uh, subset of movies, which the
theme of them is about falling in love
with Kate Blanchett un irresistibly.
So, it's a very relatable theme
we all deal with at some point.
Speaking of very relatable films
uh, let's talk Psycho Gorman.
Ben: Say go.
Jeremy: You have to scroll.
Fuck up on this one for me.
Emily: How about between Anna
the apocalypse and night?
Remember before Christmas
Jeremy: I can apocalypse apocalypse night.
Remember before Christmas?
I know I'm correct and I will
wait for you to realize this.
Jeremy: this does play psycho goman
above aliens, which is an interesting,
Ben: interesting thing to, I'm standing
by that say, I know that stand I
feels easy for me because I really
definitely prefer alien to aliens,
so I'm okay sacrificing aliens.
So long as Alien maintains it's surprising
Emily: Psycho goreman
has no brown face in it.
Goreman has hunky boys.
Jeremy: Queer Above
Nightmare before Christmas.
Ben: Embrace the chaos it has Mimi.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Alicia: yeah, yeah.
Ben: okay, hold on.
The Force of Nature that is mi me and
Emily: it has Burton wishes.
Let me just say that.
It meets nightmare before Christmas's
weirdness and possibly exceeds it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Nightmare Before Christmas for
all its strengths, does not have a
man that's a literal organ Juicer,
Ben: This ma this is a movie where
a father gives his tiny daughter an
inspiring speech on why it's a great
idea to take candy from strangers.
And she should always go
in weird people's vans.
Emily: said, fucking Tim Burton wishes.
Ben: Yeah, like
honestly, a perfect movie.
Yeah, it had heart, it had action,
it had can what more do you want?
Jeremy: all over the
It had every part of the body,
Ben: physical, the bodies
Emily: and other human,
non-human bodies as well.
Ben: You see those like there
power rangers, quality costumes
put to such sincere, but also
insane batshit chaos comedy.
Like there's nothing
like Psycho Gore, man.
So that gets Psycho
Gore, man at number 13.
Ben: That's pretty good.
I'm good with that.
Jeremy: feel that.
Now, how do you guys feel about taking
a tour of the bottom of the list?
Because the next one
is Resident Evil Colon.
Welcome to Raccoon City.
Emily: Uh, Let's
Jeremy: Somehow manage to take a, . Video
game franchise that had already been
ruined once and somehow ruined it.
Alicia: I'm gonna put that shit right
Emily: between be no, I think
I'm gonna put that shit between
No Face, Benny and Kraft Legacy.
I'm gonna give you, I agree with that.
I was also gonna say right above
Kraft Legacy, it is definitely below
the first resident evil somehow.
Emily: I actually think that note face,
Benny deserves to be above resident
evil cuz it's trying to say something,
but I, that's just, no, I don't know.
I'm not gonna, I'm not
gonna, I'm not gonna go back.
It's too soon.
It's too soon.
I can't go back.
I, I definitely put it weirdly
enough, as much as I hate Friday the
13th, I've definitely put welcome to
Raccoons City below Friday the 13th.
I don't know if I would put it
above or below bad hair though.
Bad hair is definitely
trying to say something.
That's what I'm saying.
He does fall on its face
while attempting to do so,
Emily: but it, it is not as just stupid.
True as, yeah.
Like welcome to Raccoon
City is fucking dumb.
Jeremy: It does make people who
seem to have cancer into zombies.
Emily: So let's put that one below.
Actually it's not quite as
hateable as Don't breathe.
Jeremy: I can't imagine us intentionally
watching a movie that'll be as,
that I feel as negatively about
as I feel about Don't breathe.
You would think maybe the maximum
on that list would come close,
but I think we actually ended up
feeling pretty warmly about Freaks.
I think Well Freaks is is another
one of those that's like adjacent.
, I'd put that one.
Alicia: Oh God.
Emily: I'd put free, I don't wanna
put freaks next to night breed
because that feels a little weird.
Jeremy: It does feel weird.
Don't feel weird.
Put freaks next to night breed.
I, for me, I feel like above the Gollum,
Emily: maybe between Gollum and
Ginger snaps, I feel my, my heart is
telling me that that's appropriate
and my gut, my entire, all my organs.
Jeremy: How are you
feeling about that, Ben?
Ben: Yeah, I can, I can go with that.
You can fuck with that.
I can, I can Sucks with
Jeremy: and completing our,
our weird circus movies freaks.
Ben: We gotta like, we gotta
have our official circus
We can have separate like
highly specific niche lists.
As a different thing.
Jeremy: now, next up, I feel like
we all agree that it was worse
than the previous iteration.
Scream three, right?
Emily: Which one was
Ben: Scream three was when they decided
to go to Hollywood and get real campy.
I have a real soft spot in
my heart for Scream three.
Jeremy: got that one.
Parker Posey performance.
Ben: Like, it's, it's a lot of fun.
It does have a lot of
really stupid elements.
It's the worst who done it in the series?
You know, Sydnee is not in the
movie for long stretches of
time and is just sitting around.
Emily: put it between
Ben: hell, Ben.
Night camping is fun
Alicia: and the wake.
Emily: The wake says things better.
There is a whole subplot about how
Sydney's mom was raped while she was
trying to be an actress in Hollywood.
Any part of anything,
Ben: it's, hi, I guess it's talking about
Me Too stuff, but also, I'm not sure.
Or if it's just being like,
but it's actually produced
produced by Herby Weinstein.
That's what, that's just the
thing of about hell Bent.
Like it's, it's a better, it's the
movie is executed better than a
lot of these other ones like Repo
and Blood and Donuts and Hell Ben.
But I think uh,
Jeremy: I have much more affection for
Hell Ben, than I do for Scream three other
than, than that Parker Posey performance.
It's hard to,
. That's where I'm kind
of coming in the middle.
But I would, I would be okay with
ranking Hell bent above scream three
because hell Bent is doing a lot more.
Jeremy: You okay with that Ben?
Putting hell bent right above Scream three
Ben: ye ooh.
Hellbent above Scream three.
I gotta got, Ooh.
Oh, I, I think Scream Three is a better
movie, but Scream three does have some
real harmful shit while Hellbent did
some real fun queer representation.
So I'll give you that.
Jeremy: means the only thing left to talk
about this go around is Happy Death Day.
Jeremy: For Landon's Happy Death Day.
Alicia: Okay, okay.
Jeremy: a big scroll up for me.
Ben: I think we're That's, yeah.
That's a fun death.
That's a fun.
We got Death Loops.
We got Groundhog Day meat.
Of uh Okay.
Who done it?
Jeremy: it's definitely above
Host, which puts it in the top 30.
We wanna compare it with
Christopher Landon's other film.
I was think thinking about that,
having it up there with freaky as well.
Ben: But I You put it on
all the way with Freaky.
Emily: don't, I actually don't.
Ben: I definitely didn't, I
definitely didn't like it as much
as Viv or Nightmare on Elm Street.
Same, like, I'd probably rank it above
the descent, but below Velvet Buzz off.
See for me,
Jeremy: I, I just on a.
Cany horror movies that are funny level,
I like it a bit more than Velvet Buzz saw.
Emily: I, I could, I could fuck with that.
Jeremy: Yeah, I'm, I'm looking around.
I, I love the time loop.
I love how well constructed this movie is.
Emily: I definitely don't love it
more than Girl Walks home alone at
night, but that's my personal bias.
Jeremy: I do, I think my hard line is it
follows, which is like an equally clever,
modern, somewhat campy horror movie.
And it follows, pulls it off
a little more interestingly
Emily: I will concede to putting
it between her wolf and A Girl
Walks Home alone at night.
And that's my final answer.
Jeremy: You feel that
Ben putting it at 26?
Ben: I I can take that deal,
Jeremy: All right, we'll do that.
That puts our total list for ending
to ending this episode at 79.
Still, still don't breathe
at the bottom but it has been
joined down there by Reza Neel.
Welcome to Raccoon City.
We do have a solidly bad bottom
five now, cuz it's Oh yeah.
Uh, Bad hair and no face.
Benny the craft legacy.
Welcome to Raccoon City and don't breathe.
Did we change up the top five?
We got very close.
Us just snuck not number
Us cracked it.
And, and we have Candy Man at number six.
Which honestly, we two
Candy Mans in the top 10.
And you know what that feels,
I gotta say it feels right.
Jeremy: feel right.
we'll call it for tonight.
We'll pick back up with ranking
ha suit, which should be a
real, a real treat next time
Jeremy: So don't get
tonight by any pianos.
Until next week,
I do have a piano in my house,
but it is not a grand piano.
Jeremy: Well, that'll be a good reason.
Until next time to stay horrified.
Ben: Yes, have a good night everyone.
Have a good night, Ben.