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The Life of And podcast is for high-achieving women and working parents who are ready to stop living a life of “have to” and start designing a life they actually want. It’s a space where we talk honestly about the things we’re often afraid to admit — even to ourselves. The exhaustion. The ambition. The loneliness. The joy. The tension of wanting more without losing yourself in the process.
If you’re in the thick of it — feeling stretched, tired, hopeful, driven — this is your invitation to take a breath, get real, and find your way back to your own Life of And.
[00:00:00] Tiffany Sauder: This word balance, it has nothing to do with your time at all. Balance has everything to do with alignment. And when you feel in alignment with your life and with your choices, and they're congruent with two things, who you want to become and what you want to do in the world, the good you want to be in the world, you are in balance
[00:00:20] Tiffany Sauder: I'm Tiffany Sauder, entrepreneur, wife, mom, to four girls and a woman figuring it out just like you. Come on, let's go build your Life of And.
[00:00:31] Today's gonna be one of those Tiffany Unscripted episodes where I walk into the recording sesh, like literally just with some thoughts in my head, but nothing, no notes, nothing to reference. And by studio, I mean my living room today. I don't know, I just wanna work some stuff out. And yes, this podcast is a tool that I use to share with you guys what life has taught me and also what I'm learning.
[00:00:54] And the what I'm learning part, I think is really what these Tiffany Unscripteds are about. It's just like me [00:01:00] exporting like a verbal diary. What I'm seeing, what life is teaching me, what I'm working through, and I'm a verbal processor, so saying it all out loud, like really helps me see my thoughts. So that's what we're gonna do today.
[00:01:14] Tiffany Sauder: Sam and I both had really hard summers. Maybe someday we'll have an episode where we talk about what they are. And no, Sam and I are not married . But when we're both going through things that feel big and hard, and life is just taking a lot of capacity, it makes, like, your job, the thing that you do for a living, feel really hard because life is taking up so much space.
[00:01:33] And so, I don't know, we both sort of looked at each other a little bit tired walking into the fall saying, "Okay, this is a big season. We've got a bunch of events. We've got things we're hosting, things I'm speaking at. Uh, it's a season where we're signing up, corporate partners for our program." And just, like, looking at each other and saying, like, "How do we need to set this up so that it feels really sustainable?"
[00:01:54] Which is, like, my favorite word on planet Earth, sustainable. And I think what it has [00:02:00] me noticing is that I know this about my life, that decisions that you make go into different seasons, and you have to redecide if they fit and how they fit. So, you made a decision, to maybe, like, take a job that requires you to travel, and then you have a bunch of kids, and you may need to make the decision that, like, "I still want to work at this company.
[00:02:25] I still want to do something like this, but I need to do it in a way that maybe doesn't have travel," because that choice worked really well when I was married and didn't have kids or didn't have kids in sports or whatever it looks like. But my, my point is, like, the decisions we make travel with us into new seasons.
[00:02:44] And when we get into new seasons, we sometimes need to renegotiate the way it fits in so that it fits in a way that, A, just, like, fits better, is more sustainable, matches who you are today, and matches the way that the [00:03:00] other roles you've said yes to have evolved. So again, I've said this a thousand times on the podcast, but this is, like, that year in my life that I knew was gonna happen when I had Quincy, when Aubrey was gonna be a senior, Quincy was gonna be a kindergartner, and there was gonna be that one year where all the girls were in school, only one year where they're all in the same school district.
[00:03:23] And, um, the way our family is set up... I'm gonna cry
[00:03:33] The girls will all only be home for seven years. And that's just a really unique thing for our family because they're so spread out. I don't know. I hope to live to be 102. And so let's say it's 100 for easy math, but for 7% of my life, all my girls will be home. Like that's pretty crazy. You know, when you think about just the [00:04:00] size that being a mom takes up in your life and for such a small season, they're all gonna be here and we're in the last year of that.
[00:04:09] And I'm not sad about it so much as just I think trying to hold it with so much intention and so much presence, besides some things that are just really hard and I don't wanna be distracted, from what I know is just a really big year for us and, you know, sometimes I can be a little bit dramatic in the way that I I don't know.
[00:04:43] Is it dramatic to say, like, there's only one more year? No, I'm gonna be all of their moms for forever. And I get honestly a little, like, pissy at those Instagram posts that are like, "You only have 18 summers." It's like, no, for every summer of my kids' lives, [00:05:00] I will be their mom. Like, that's how that works.
[00:05:02] And so yeah, not all those summers will they be home, but for every summer of their life, I'll be their mom. I'm their only mom. Maybe I just needed to cry. I don't know. So I think in that, realizing the seasons are changing, um
[00:05:22] And noticing that and wanting to understand how does this project come to be? How is it formed? How is it put together? Like, how are the Lego blocks of it put together so that it serves every role that I want to be? And so I wanna come on here and just be like, "Hey, I am the professor and I have it all figured out and you should feel so good learning from me because I already have all of it mastered."
[00:05:54] But I don't. But what I do know is I won't stand in this year with regret [00:06:00] because I'm at least being really intentional about it and being like, "What does this... Like, what do I need to do? What does this need to look like?" So, I don't know. I guess I needed to say that. This is Tiffany Unscripted, and I get anxious, not anxious, nervous when I'm like, "Well, where am I gonna go next?"
[00:06:16] But I think that's Just a real look at where my heart is right now with that. And
[00:06:28] I've been talking a lot about balance. I've been thinking a lot about balance. I've been teaching a lot about balance. And I say like we wrongly assume that balance has something to do with time. It has nothing to do with time at all And it's become like this word kind of like synergy or culture or, I don't know, momentum, like these stupid corporate words that we [00:07:00] say that we say so often that they don't have any real meaning.
[00:07:03] And I fear that the word balance is becoming that kind of a word, where it's like, " Oh yeah, yeah, wah, wah," like, I Don't feel balanced." Like, we just sort of bat this word around and nobody really knows what it means. And so we either just don't pay attention to it, we let the word sort of generically float past us, we use it kind of to play like verbal tennis with our friends where it's like, "I know, I feel out of balance."
[00:07:32] "I feel out of balance too." Like, "You and me, we're out of balance." It's like that ... It's just gross. it's like if your friend came to you and said, "I'm unhealthy," and you say, "I'm unhealthy too," and you both shake on it. It's like n- no, like that's a really crappy way to show up for yourself, and that's a really crappy way to show up for other people.
[00:07:49] and so this word balance, it, like it, it has nothing to do with your time at all. balance has everything to do with alignment. And [00:08:00] when you feel in alignment with your life and with your choices and they're congruent with two things, who you want to become and what you want to do in the world, the good you want to be in the world, then you are in balance.
[00:08:16] That's my definition of it, that your values, who you want to become, and your goals, what you want to do in the world, that those two things are being fed with every decision that you make. And when you're in that place, life feels in balance. Like literally every day I've been on planet Earth since I was a little kid, I've had big full days.
[00:08:35] At ... That's how I love my days to feel. It's how I love my life to feel. It's how I get energy is moving from one thing to the next and, and being sort of in a rush. Like I, I l- I like how that feels moving from thing to thing. And I think we can make the mistake of saying rest is gonna put us back in balance.
[00:08:57] A, a retreat away is gonna put us back in [00:09:00] balance. But that's not true. those things for a time can be like putting salve on a wound or like stitching up something that's gaping, but it's not gonna heal it. Healed balance is when our choices are aligned And I think that maybe this is what's like at the core of my tears right now is I so desperately want to solve for being present with my girls.
[00:09:37] But I know in my heart, while I have the financial ability to be able to walk away from everything I'm doing, like I know that is not what I want to do. And so solving for the and, solving for the presence that I want to have for my girls this year [00:10:00] and solving for the good I want to put into the world, the things I want to teach, the stuff I feel compelled to share
[00:10:13] Because they
[00:10:18] They've taken a lot from my own life. Oh my... I'm like bawling, Sam. What is happening? I'm just gonna keep going because for some reason I guess I'm supposed to say this, but
[00:10:40] And there's an unglamorous wrestling in building the end, and I'm in some of that right now. I could not look grosser. Can we not post this video? Oh my gosh. I don't need glasses. I'm not reading. [00:11:00] What is happening? Taking off my glasses. I don't even have notes or reading glasses. I don't know. Am I using humor to deflect?
[00:11:08] Maybe. Um I don't know. I think what I'm learning is that, like, it's really hard to live in a perpetual state of hurry and exhaustion and imbalance and feeling this just, like, friction in your soul with your day. And I don't feel there right now, but I do feel like I'm in this place of building the and, of building the bridge, of building between my values, like the boundaries and protection I want in place of my time so I can be so present this year.
[00:11:49] And also wanting to free and redeem and to help others with the things that life has taught [00:12:00] me. and I just know if I wasn't doing that, I would feel like I was carrying something that could help other people that I wasn't doing. And at the very beginning of this project, one of the very, very, very early episodes, I did this fear interview.
[00:12:19] There's probably six listeners still left from that version of the podcast but it's called The Fear Interview, and I was, it was a facilitated conversation that I had with my fear. I spoke to my fear in the first person. There's this gentleman who walked me through the process, and we recorded it and shared pieces of that here on the feed.
[00:12:39] And my fear statement, which is the thing I say when fear tells me to be small or when fear tells me that, um, like, "Stop being so all about yourself." Like, "Stop." Like, "Who do you think you are?" Like, kinda like, "Shut up, Tiffany." [00:13:00] "You're not that special." That can be things that fear says to me.
[00:13:04] That I say to it, like, I am for others. Like, I step into discomfort. I, invest in businesses. I seek my own personal growth. I push record on this podcast. I try to learn how to make social media content that's not so cringey you wanna die. Like, you know, like, all those things are, like, kinda dumb and hard.
[00:13:30] And I do that, not... Some of it for myself. Like, this episode maybe is just for me because I needed to hear myself talk. But I'm recording it because I really firmly believe the greatest gift that we can give another person is our experiences. And when we're willing to share those honestly and vulnerably and, along the way, not just when it's in this, perfect rearview mirror, there's the beginning, and [00:14:00] here's the middle, and here's how it all turned out, that's when we really, help one another.
[00:14:06] And it is the cry of my heart to help other people, and so many people have been so generous with me in their sharing of life and hard things. And I often joke with Brian that, like, I just don't learn from books. It's, like, kind of annoying. I wish I did. I, like, learn... I don't know if I wish I did. I don't really learn from books.
[00:14:28] I learn from other people. I learn from conversations and stories and, like, these vivid vignettes of things that I've been taught, like, playing through my head. That is how I inventory what I know and what people have taught me. and so I think I feel compelled to sh- pay it forward. I, like, wonder why I was, like, given a chance to lead a business, a marketing company at such a young age.
[00:14:56] And why did I spend 20 years [00:15:00] figuring out how to find a story and tell a story and communicate? Like, what's the reason of all that? Maybe it's just to make money, I don't know. But maybe, God has other purposes for that. And so, I'm just in this complexity of figuring out how I build the bridge to my and.
[00:15:17] And, and it is around clearly defining our values. building a life of balance, building the and, is about having choices that protect both who you're becoming and what you want to do in the world.
[00:15:31] And its core, that's what it's about. That is what this whole thing is about. And getting us socially To stop glazing over the word balance, to stop us socially from not stopping to understand what are the ingredients of balance, to stop us from just being compelled by the hurry and, "Oh, good night."
[00:15:58] there's something, nothing [00:16:00] more satisfying than getting all the tasks done on your list And not stopping to evaluate whether or not they were important, whether they were meaningful, whether they were directionally related to where it is that you wanna go in the, in your life. Like, so much easier to just sort like dopamine, like check, check, check, check, check, check, check. And when my brain is tired, I find myself wiping down the counter, sweeping the floor, pushing in the chairs. It's like something tactical to soothe the fact that I don't know what to do about something. But it is hard to build a life on purpose And it is hard to not build a life on purpose. And I think I'm reminding myself that, like, it is a choose your hard journey in life.
[00:16:53] So I don't know. That's, that is that right now
[00:17:00] I wanna take a quick moment to thank my partners at Share Your Genius. For the past four years, they have been an incredible part of my journey behind the microphone. Share Your Genius is a content and podcast production agency that helps leaders and brands bring their message to life.
[00:17:14] So, whether you're trying to find your voice, develop a content strategy, or get your leader behind a microphone, they're gonna help you make it simple, strategic and impactful.
[00:17:24] We're transitioning from that's the who Tiffany is conversation and now we're gonna talk a little bit about what I'm doing and, um, some funny things. Sam was just in my pantry. She's like, "So did you take a trip to s- Trader Joe's?" Like, yes, we did. We have like every Trader Joe's snack in all of Trader Joe's in our pantry right now, and everybody, each of my girls, we went after church, literally had their own cart and they were, like, filling it up.
[00:17:49] Tiffany Sauder: And it was on a Sunday after church, and that is, like, prime Trader Joe's time, you know? The l- the line was so long and the parking lot was so full. And people who have families of [00:18:00] six just don't really shop at Trader Joe's. I mean, maybe they do, but maybe on Tuesdays, but not on Sundays. Like, people have, like, f- their full week of groceries is, like, $42.
[00:18:09] And I'm like I cannot. So we were that family. It was, like, two, over $250. Us just like cart, cart, cart, and the lady kept being like, "Ma'am, your total is..." I'm like, "No, we have one more cart." And she's like, "Ma'am, your total is..." Like, "No, we have one more cart." So if you were at Trader Joe's on Sunday and you were thinking, "Who is that stupid lady who brought all of her kids and is buying everything in the store?"
[00:18:29] That was us. It's funny. I had like a tiny bit of an immersive reflex. It took me so long. And like the ... You know, we don't bring disposable bags. It's not who I am, so also that makes me feel like an outsider. I'm like, "Please, we need 55 paper bags." okay, that's kinda funny going on. Also, my ... So my senior, she has this senior, like, schedule.
[00:18:51] So if you take, I think it's four or five AP classes in a semester, then you don't have to go to school on the hours where you don't have class. So she gets to leave class, [00:19:00] or leave school, like one day it's like an hour and a half a day, and the other one's like almost three hours. So she was like, "Mom, what am I gonna do with that time?"
[00:19:07] And I was like, "Well, what if you would work with me on Life of And? That would be fun," and kind of one of those things where I'm bringing my family into my work, which is something that we're thinking about. not like my husband and I working together. That would officially be the end of us, but it's been very sweet to have Aubrey working in Life of And a little bit.
[00:19:22] So she's gonna take over my Instagram for 30 days, and, we're gonna see what we learn. I said earlier, like creating content that's not cringey for social media is so hard. I'm 46. I'm questionably hip, and you get so tired of the sound of your own voice and of the look of your own face. That is very hard.
[00:19:43] So she's gonna take it over for 30 days. So if you wanna come see that experiment, join me over in Instagram @tiffany.sauder and see what she's doing and see what's performing. We're gonna post, yeah, every day for 30 days. She's gonna run it, and then just get some intel on, like, what content do people like?
[00:19:59] [00:20:00] What do we like making? What are we terrible at? I don't know. Maybe we'll show you some blooper reels. But so far we're at zero fights, so that feels good. she is so incredibly, like in the best way, task-oriented, like so completion-oriented, I should say. She's like, can't go to bed if something's not done.
[00:20:17] And so I think that's gonna be really helpful, so we'll see what happens. I told her, I'm gonna put this on the podcast, so I told her if she got me to 10,000 followers by the end of her senior year, that I would give her $10,000 towards a car. So, you know, there's a lot riding on it for her. See if you guys can help her.
[00:20:33] we're also doing a couple of live events this fall in the vein of testing. Um, well, I guess these are things we've done before, but, we've heard from you that it's nice when I get out from behind the camera and the microphone and let's get together in real life, and Sam and I really, really, really love it, too.
[00:20:50] So we are going to do another Seat at the Table, which is where we bring a gr- a group of 24 women together. It's one long table. [00:21:00] It's just the most beautiful dinner together. That's on October Seventh, like around 6:00 to 9:00 PM. We'll put a link to register if you're interested in show notes. And the idea of this came really through Emma Grede.
[00:21:14] If you follow ... Well, if you're on the internet at all as a woman, I'm sure she's in your feed somewhere. but she does this annual event where she brings, established names in fashion and up-and-coming designers together for one beautiful evening, I don't know if it's at her house or somewhere, for dinner.
[00:21:31] And the idea is a seat at the table. Those who already are at the table, we need to remember that it's our job to pull out a chair and encourage and create space for the next generation, for those who are launching into their own journeys, who just need a reminder to be courageous, that they deserve a seat there.
[00:21:52] And so that's the spirit of it. There have been so many people who pulled out a chair for me. And, this evening, [00:22:00] called A Seat at the Table, is kind of primarily in that purpose. We sell tickets in pairs. Our goal is that you bring either a young woman with you that you want her to leave that evening understanding how special she is.
[00:22:16] Or perhaps you have a mentor that you want to thank in some special way or remind her what an impact she's had in her life. that could be another type of guest that you bring. Or we also just have, like, two very high-achieving friends that are like, "We wanna go hang out and meet some cool people, and we're, we think we're both baddies, and we want to, you know, go, or go be around a table of people like that, too."
[00:22:39] So that's, like, another version of, of people who, who buy tickets and come together. So last year we did sell out. we're hoping for the same this year. We'll see. We do it at this, uh, beautiful rooftop in Fishers. And, uh, there's light programming in the evening. It's not just me talking. everyone who comes participates in the evening.
[00:22:58] last year people stayed, like, an [00:23:00] hour later than we planned, and it's just beautiful. And really, like, I don't know, people leave, I think, really full. So if you're looking for an evening like that, take a look at our show notes. And, Sam, when is this episode airing? Mid-September? Okay, mid-September. So, I don't know.
[00:23:18] Take a look. We might be sold out. Maybe not. the second one is, uh, we are doing a mini retreat, and this is the format where I teach most/all of the Life of And toolkit. It's a day-long session. It's about seven to eight hours together in Indianapolis. And if you've been, like, kind of, you know, being spoon-fed,like, little teaspoonfuls of the Life of And toolkit through this podcast, and you're like, "2027 needs to be the year I, like, finally get my sh*t together I want to be f-- kind of more fully running on this.
[00:23:57] I want to have the discipline of, of quarterly or [00:24:00] seasonal priorities. I want to have a chance to think through systems. I want to understand my values and, uh, goals a little bit. Like, I just, I just need to bring this into focus. I-- The word picture that comes to me is like a kaleidoscope, where it's like I need...
[00:24:14] I can see one picture, but I just need to see it more clearly. then this is the thing for you to come to. We're gonna do it one
[00:24:20] more time in 2026, and the dates are October 22nd and October 23rd. So the evening before, we come together for 90 minutes-ish and have a chance to meet everyone who's gonna go through it.
[00:24:33] It really helps us get a running start into learning together on Friday. The day starts around 8:30. We're done by 4:30. and it's, it's an awesome day of learning together. So if you are like, " I need a day where I am focused on my own solving, focused on my own life, focused on making sure that we're really set up so that going into the holidays and going into next year," then this is the thing for you to per- to do.
[00:24:59] It's [00:25:00] usually $1,500 a seat. We have reduced the price. I r- I just, I want a full room, and I wanna share it with everyone. And so, what is it, Sam? Eight- 897 ... 897. So take a look in show notes. there's a link to the landing page where you can learn more and, um, register if you're interested. And also, if, like, you have questions about it, my email address is literally tiffany@tiffanysauder.com.
[00:25:26] so Sam and I both have access to that, that email address, and she or I will respond. It's the two of us, yo. This is what we're doing. And, um, we'd be excited to have you join us, and it's cool. I mean, everybody who's been through it... Th-this is my favorite stat: 97% of people who have gone through it say they've felt a material impact in both their personal and professional lives.
[00:25:47] that is the point of the Life of And. We are solving both of those things at the exact same time. cue the first part of this episode, right? Like, I am trying to solve for my life and my purpose. [00:26:00] those things are converging for my kids, for the role I play as a mom, for my presence, for my own peace and settledness just in this season of my life, and continue to make progress on things I care so, so deeply about.
[00:26:14] And we can only do that when we are really have brought into focus what it is that's getting our time and attention and what the trade-offs are of our yes and our no. So, we'll learn all that together. It's such a great time. I love it. Um, so that is near term what's coming up. One more event that we put on the calendar, if you're taking a walk and listening to this, is the Friday before Thanksgiving.
[00:26:42] So that is November 22nd, Sam? Can you look? It's the Friday before Thanksgiving, so Thanksgiving's on a Thursday. 20th Okay, she's gonna look up the date. I mean, I told you I came into this episode with no notes. Here we are. The 20th? November 20th. It's the Friday before [00:27:00] Thanksgiving. So my thought is that day is not a super, super busy, like, meeting day.
[00:27:06] anyways, that's just my thought. So the Friday before Thanksgiving, November 20th, we are going to do a full day of just goals and values. Goals and values. My biggest surprise of 2026 is Most of my work inside of the Life of Anne toolkit assumes you know what your goals are. and what I found across, 18 to 24 months of full-time teaching this, is that actually people don't know their goals.
[00:27:35] And that's okay, but I am not an expert in teaching that. And so I'm partnering with Brian Kavicky. I'm gonna teach the w- the values workshop in the first hour and 15 minutes of the day, and then Brian is gonna lead us through a really rich goal-setting process. I'm gonna be a participant in that piece of it.
[00:27:55] Sam's gonna be a participant in that piece of it. And, um, like [00:28:00] really, really, really rich goal setting. Not like what do you wanna do in the next 12 y- 12 months, but like w- what do you want your life to say kind of goal setting. And he's ran the session a bunch of times. I'm really excited to just kind of set my heart into that work going into 2027.
[00:28:17] And I was like, "If I want this, my guess is that other people do too." So we're gonna share that with you. we don't have the registration page up yet, And there's a link in show notes if you're interested in joining us for that.
[00:28:29] Um, very accessible price point, less than $100. and so we hope that you can join us there. And again, that's gonna be, um, on the, that's gonna be held on the north side of Indianapolis. So if you're in the Indy area, I hope you'll join us for one of these events. And if you're not, and you can drive or fly in, we would so welcome you.
[00:28:47] Let Sam and I know you're coming in town, and we'll put together a great itinerary with you. so yeah, that is it for Tiffany Unscripted. Thank you for joining me on this week's episode of Life of And.[00:29:00]
[00:29:00] I'm your host, Tiffany Sauder, and if you've learned something from this episode, it would mean so much to me if you shared it with somebody that you loved. It's the fastest way that we grow the show. Thanks so much