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With a variety of shows, Legion Podcasts brings you discussion on the worlds of horror, film and video games from an assortment of perspectives.
There is very little time or point in an explanation. To be
blunt, the audio came from a timeline and dimension that has collapsed
at a quantum level, rendering it null and void in terms of existence.
Operational time in the dimensional continuum where the beings that
created the audio collapsed in on itself, rendering all of their
civilization, including technology, null and void.
Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and
changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers on cinema.
Psyops.
Ten years. Man 1010 years.
Ten years. Man ten years. Ten years.
1010 years. Ten years.
What is the most likely way humanity. Will be wiped out? Maybe it's something from
space. Or us. Although the way the world ends might be because of
you. And if this is the case, you wouldn't have any control over it.
The global temperature rise underscores a chilling reality. Our planet
is trying to tell us something, but we don't seem to be listening.
A recent study has suggested that one. Third of annual deaths due to heat
are directly related to global warming.
On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear light, which is
180 million degrees, which catches everything on fire in a
nine mile diameter radius. On top of the bulldozing effect
of the wind, all the buildings coming down, and more fires igniting
more fires on top of the radiation if they happen to have survived poisoning people
to death. On top of all that, each one of these fires creates
a mega fire that is 100 or more square
miles.
Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and
changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers on cinema psyops.
A breathtaking scientific revolution is taking place.
Biotechnology has been progressing at stunning speed,
giving us the tools to eventually gain control over biology.
Solving the deadliest diseases, while also creating.
Viruses more dangerous than nuclear bombs. Able to devastate
humanity. It's man returning to the most
primal, violent state as people fight
over the tiny resources that remain.
What if the world we live in. Is just a dream or a simulation?
Whether it's a dream or some advanced computer game you are playing
right now, now, when it ends, you would be what causes the end of the
world. Please, do us all a favor. Continue dreaming or playing
this game of life. Because when you wake up or unplug, there's a
chance the rest of us will be blaked out of existence. Timelines across
the entire continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction
has a nexus that centers on cinema. Silence.
1010 years.
Ten years.
And welcome to the 476th consecutive
week of cinema psyops. This episode represents 476
consecutive weeks in our decade of dimwitted dip
shittery. And joining me in my own personal dimwitted dip shittery is my
dimwitted dipshit of co host Matt. I'm tired.
Exhausted.
16 months or something. Yeah. Considered hibernating.
It seems like a good life strategy. I think I can cover that.
Yeah. To quote Tom Petty, I'm tired of myself.
Tired of this town. Yeah. Tired of myself.
Tired of this. I never realized. Tom. I never
realized how much Tom petty sounds kind of like Bob Dylan.
A little bit in the way he sings. Until you just did that. A little
bit. Sometimes he can. Yeah,
because you're impressed. Although he's way more understandable than Bob Dylan
is. Yeah. Your. Your impression of Tom Petty sounded like
Bob Dylan to me. Because it was off key, like Bob Dylan often is.
Well, I mean, you don't have to be an asshole.
No, but I choose to be because I like to be, and that's who
I am. And I just can't help myself. You just can't help yourself now?
I can't. It's not my fault, Matt. I can't help myself. It's not
my fault. I refuse to take any blame for anything
that I've ever done because I'm a narcissistic prick who only thinks
of himself. Well, it's about time you omitted it. Now go
get another tattoo. I'm putting in the work,
getting the tattoos. I'm talking to my therapist. That's not therapy.
I wish you'd stop. No, I was trying to make a parody, but I didn't
want to get into the point where I start using the line that gets used
against Daphne Coleman's character in nine to five about being a sexist,
egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Right. Like, I don't want to be any of
those things. Yeah. Right. One thing that nine to five has definitely shown me
is that I don't want to be any of the men that are in nine
to five. For the most part. No. Or else you will die. It's not necessarily
that I will die. It's that I probably deserve it. People want to kill.
You also will deserve it. I mean, Daphne Coleman
is the absolute worst. Absolutely. But there's an indictment of
all men in this movie that's going on that kind of stings a bit
because it's a little accurate. Yeah, right. On top of that,
nine to five is a really excellent treatise on why capitalism is awful,
pure and simple. Yes. And shows you how we need
more unions so that people aren't taking advantage of in such ways.
Yeah, I'm glad that you have that attitude because the
music for the pirate radio edit this week is actually going to be.
Well, I'm going to feature nine to five somewhere in there because it's Dolly
Parton. Of course I'm going to feature it, but the rest of the music is
also pro worker, pro union and stand
up to the boss music. So we're going to have some worker solidarity going on
with this episode because how can you talk about nine to five and not.
Right? Yeah, right. No, yeah, you're exactly right. Some of the policies
that get enacted in the movie whenever the right
people get put into charge that increase productivity and actually
make people, you know, happier and work better workers,
that's declared socialism in this country. Like all of the things that they are
supplying. And we'll get into it when we get there. But Jesus fucking Christ,
this movie becomes more and more relevant the older, I guess.
Yeah, right. I mean, it stays relevant for all the messages it
gives for the downtrodden. Yeah, it never wasn't
relevant, but it becomes more apparent to me just how relevant
it will remain until things change, if they ever do. I don't know. Climate change
has probably caught up to us and this is the mode that we're going to
die in. It's end stage capitalism for us altogether. Yeah,
but hey, fuck it, let's. That's why I drink.
That's also why I do drugs. Yeah, well,
not drugs. I ingest farm bill, legal hemp and
hemp byproducts. Thank you,
lawyers. Unless I'm in a state where it's
legal to do said drugs, and then I do those drugs in that. And then
you're definitely doing those drugs. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Only in that state
where it's legal. Where it's legal, never. Where it's
illegal. Because we would never do stuff like that. Never ever
do such a thing that I would like proved in court. Never ever
do things like that. I can make declarative statements that
are absolutely true, but still not really answer the question, as in,
I would never admit to such a thing. Yeah, right. Never. Why the
mafia? Answer to things. I would never admit to such a thing. Yeah,
never. All right. What I will admit to is absolutely loving
nine to five. This was totally my pick. Although I'm sure Matt is absolutely a
fan as well. I can already. Oh, I love it. Yeah, I can't wait to
actually talk about nine to five. So let's stop fucking around and let's get into
it. What do you think? Let's get to it. All right, so up first from
the pirate radio edit for this week, the pro union, pro worker,
anti boss job is dead. Kennedy's cover of take this job and shove
it immediately following this. This will keep us quiet. Hello,
Matt, this is counselor Dan. Dan Chenille. I was just listening
to the show. And what do I hear? You don't have impression of me?
Oh, no. Why would you do that? Not only
is it confusing to your. Listeners, but also to my beautiful wife,
Melissa. And Chenille, she couldn't understand how I. Could both
be in the house and. In the studio at the same time. I took a
half a box of. Wine, some candles, two and a half hours of
yogurt, and me having to do something that I'm not all that comfortable with.
Oh, no, please. In the future, concentrate on
your own show and not terrible impressions of yours truly.
Thank you. I just feel bad for Millicent Chenille if she really does get
that obviously confused whenever, you know, you're doing your horrible impression.
That sounds like. Sounds definitely good. I just don't know what to say about
that. That I really don't know either. Instead of leaving me voicemails about my impression
of you, which is actually very funny and flattering, trying to sit there
with my family and enjoy my only vacation, I get.
And I get this guy blowing up my phone. I know. I've had a word
with Shamir. Oh, good. The shaman's real chill. That's why
counselor Dan is just a counselor and not a shaman. It's so very true.
And luckily for us, Shaman Shamir calls the shots. And he
said he's going to basically make counselor Dan suck it up. And the way that
they're going to do this is he no longer will listen to the episodes at
home with his wife. Good. Hey there, cort Matt,
we have some bad news for you.
We've gotten a bit of a complaint, and actually a potential client,
or Asian of ours, if you will, has had a traumatic experience and come to
us because of your foul language on your podcast. He was in tears,
and we think it's high time you cleaned up your act. You should be
ashamed of yourselves. Now, Counselor Dan, shaming them
is not going to make this any easier on any of us. You're right.
But he does have a point. Boys, you've taken swearing to a whole.
New level of filth. I mean, do you think your Andrew dies, Clay?
Do you think you're Sam Kinison? That's a relevant thing, isn't it?
Come on, boys, clean up your act. Why can't you be more like
that. Nice Bill Cosby. That's a bad thing
to say, counselor. Dan, you need to read the papers. I don't trust the
papers. They tried to send me messages. We need to have you reconditioned.
Dan, would you step into the crystal chamber here? You're right,
Charlie. Beer. You're always right. That's right,
Dan. Now, listen, fellas, now that he's gone, just between you and me,
I don't care what you say, but seriously, if you're gonna send clients our
way because of your filthy mouth, you could at least make sure you refer us
more during the show. If you can get the
entirety of take this job and shove it into a minute and 25 as quickly
as the dead Kennedys can, it's gonna be a song I play in its entirety.
I'm just gonna do it. Of course. Why the fuck not?
Yeah, at least on the pirate radio edit I'm going to. Otherwise you're gonna just
hear some other kind of needle drop music or something else that I've experimented
with, using AI to make music or something weird like that. We'll see. We'll figure
out whatever else you got going on in this world. Yeah, whatever bullshit I end
up throwing in there instead of actual copyright music that could get us to strike
for wherever the main feed releases.
Exactly. All right, well, speaking of things that will eventually get us a copyright strike,
let's cover nine to five.
All right, the first third of the movie starts with a sequence of people rushing
to get ready for wage slavery, as the song describes the plight of those crushed
under capitalism's unending hunger for their labor. That also happens to feature
in the title of the film. Film you can teach a person all
they need to know about what a bullshit scam working actually is
under capitalism. With this song alone, for sure. Yeah.
We watched Jane Fonda's character arrive to her first office
job ever, and that is also our first clip. But, Norman,
she has never worked in her life before. I thought you'd be sympathetic.
I am sympathetic, Norman, but please, why do I have to train
her? Let her work in someone else's section. She's very willing and
she needs the job. She's recently divorced and so. And I'm a widow.
Jerry should never have died. I'd be better off. I could have divorced
him. Is that her? Yes. We're gonna need a special locker
for the hat this week. This is quite a day for
me. I bet it is. I was so excited. I left an hour early so
I wouldn't be late. Uh huh. I'm certainly glad I did. It took me 45
minutes just to find a parking place right here. Well, we parked
inside the building. I'll show you how to punch in. And I just moved to
a new apartment near the airport.
Hey, Violet. What it is? Oh, hi, Eddie. What do you hear about your promotion?
Nothing right now. Eddie Smith, Judy Burnley.
Judy starts work today. What? Look,
how am I ever going to get out of this mail room prison. If they
keep hiring people from the outside? Lady, you're going to
hate it here. Judy.
Okay, now, we're on the 12th floor. Above us is the executive suite,
where the president, Mister Hinkle, is, and the chairman of the board. Come on.
Twelve. Oh, it sounds so big. It is. I've been here twelve years,
I've never even seen the chairman of the board. Twelve years.
All I've done is be a housewife. Oh, I wanted to ask you
about my salary. I don't think I can. Very touchy subject
around here. You have to take that up with our boss, Mister Hart. Oh,
I'm sorry. It's all so new. Don't worry, you're gonna get the hang of it.
Then you'll really be sorry. Come on.
Well, welcome to the front lines. Uh oh,
here comes General Patton. Violet. Just a moment.
Come on. Just a moment, Violet.
Oh, yes, Roz. So sorry. I have been meaning to talk to you about Mister
Hart's rules on office decor. We seem to be getting a
bit lax in your section. Oh, really, Roz? How?
Well, I have typed it up here. No coffee
cups on the desks, no personal items left in view.
Photos, plants, etcetera.
We mustn't look cluttered or sloppy. An office that
looks efficient is efficient, as Mister Hart
says. Oh, hello. Judy Burnley. Roz Keith.
Roz is Mister Hart's administrative assistant. Judy is starting today.
Oh, it's nice to meet you. How do you do? Welcome to Consolidated.
I hope you enjoy it here. Thank you. We're all a pretty happy bunch.
I think so. Here, Violet, you can put this up on a bulletin board.
Thanks, Roz. I know just where to stick it. Good. And Judy, if there is
anything I can do to help you settle in, just drop on by.
Thank you. One thing you should know about dear Roz, she is the eyes,
ears, nose and throat of Mister Hart. Anything she hears, he hears. You mean
she's a company spy? Sh. I wouldn't say that. I would just say that
if you want to gossip in the ladies room, I'd check first under the stalls.
For her shoes. Happy birthday, Myra. She and ralls are
like this. This whole section now is divided into three zones, each with
a supervisor, a senior. The other two supervisors report to me.
I report directly to Mister Hart. That's his office over there. He was just made
vice president. I have never seen anyone leapfrog so
fast to the top in my life. And I have the bad back to
prove it. Margaret. Anything serious? Nothing so far.
Uh uh uh. Margaret, please. Roz is on my case.
Sorry. I remember when he was just a management trainee.
In fact, I'm the one who trained him. What's he
like? I like to think,
Judy, if. If there is a word to describe my philosophy
of business, it's teamwork. Everybody working together. You girls,
of course, never got a chance to play football.
And I've always felt like that's unfortunate, because I think
it's probably the best place to learn what teamwork is all
about. I remember Coach Fry used to tell us, a chain is
only as strong as its weakest length. Its weakest length.
Come on. Dang it. Can I get this chair fixed?
Well, I. I'm not gonna bore you with a long harangue.
Just suffice to say that it is a jungle out there. But if
we all work together, we can cut the balls off the competition. Be sitting
pretty right on top of the hill. Thank you, sir. I'm happy
to be working here. Well, you're a welcome addition. And a damn pretty one,
too, if I might add. Thank you, sir. Now, I mean that. You should see
some of the crohn's that have been coming through here lately. Real pathetic, right,
Violet? Oh, Violet. By the way, my wife is coming by later on. I'd like
to get her a little present. Could you pick her out a nice scarf or
something? Mister Hart, we've discussed this before. I don't think it's my place to shop.
Violet, God damn it. You know, I've been standing up here for five minutes
talking about teamwork, and the first thing I know, you're not there for the handoff.
All I'm saying, mister Hart, is that my job description doesn't say anything
about making purchases for your wife. And all I'm saying is that I like people
around me who are flexible and get along. So when I ask an employee,
especially one who wants to be promoted to management, I expect a little cooperation.
Savvy? Savvy. Good. And we're talking silk, blue, maybe a little red
stripe. You're talking to the right person. Violet's the best.
First person I met at the company knows more about what's going on here than
anybody but Mister Hinkle. Oh, a deer.
Yeah, lucky shot. But, Judy, listen,
if you ever have anything of a serious nature on your mind at all,
I want you to feel free to come in here and talk to me about
him. That's actually why I have my office on this floor.
Is to be close to my girls. Okay? Certainly. Thank you.
Oh, is Doralee back yet? No. Oh, get me a
little coffee then, Violet. No sugar, just a little skinny and sweet. Yes,
sir. Well, that's Franklin Hart junior,
but to me, he'll always be f. Hart.
Oh, good, she's back. Hi, Violet.
How's everything going? Oh, Dora Lee, your boss wants coffee. Oh,
great. I just got back from gassing up his cardinal filling one tank,
I'm filling another. This is Judy Burnley. Judy's gonna be
working over in my section. Dora Lee Rhodes. Hi, Judy. Nice to meet you.
How do you do? Hope everybody's been treating you real friendly and showing you around.
Everybody's been very nice, thank you. Good. Listen, if there's anything I can do,
you just give me a holler, because I know what it's like to be a
new girl in town. Thank you. Judy,
over here. Now, this is your typewriter,
dictaphone, Eddie, machine. I better get your locker for that.
All right. This then leads into a sequence of Judy struggling
to work properly in an office environment for the very
first time in her life. And that ends that sequence with Judy joining the
ladies for lunch. There is some gossiping going on about how Dora Lee is
sleeping with Hart while the ladies are out shopping. And then we see Hart arranging
his desk to push his pencil cup off the edge. It's clear that that's what
he's setting up, doing and testing. And then he makes a call out to Dora
Lee in our next clip. Would you grab your pad and bring
your pretty face in here, please? Yes, sir. Hold it right there.
What? Turn around a second. Something wrong? I got something on my dress.
Nothing is wrong. Matter of fact, everything is very, very right.
Shall we begin, Mister Hart? Yeah,
um, take a letter to Vernon Henshaw over at Metropolitan
Mutual. Dear Vern, as you know, the chairman of the board of
consolidated Companies, Mister Russell Tinsworthy, spends most of
his time in Brazil working on the jungle
clearance operation. Consequently. Oh,
pencils. Yeah, it's all right. I'll get it.
Here, let me, let me. Let me help
you with those. No, that's okay, really. I've got em.
There you go, Dorilee. Yes?
About my conduct in the office here yesterday, I'm afraid I got a little carried
away. I'd just like to apologize to you. Oh, don't you worry
about it, Mister Hart. I've been chased by swifter men than you, and I ain't
been caught yet. Shall we get back to our letters? Well,
yeah, but. Well, could you just come over here
for a second? I have a little something for you. You know, ever since
I made that stupid mistake about the convention in San Francisco.
Oh, Mister Hart, you didn't make a mistake. You see, I'll just have to
make sure that the next time I'm asked to go to work at a convention,
that there is a convention going on. Right? Nothing happened anyway,
so why don't we just forget the whole thing? Han. Doralee.
You know, you mean so much more to me than just a dumb secretary,
so I bought this for you. I picked it out myself. Well, thank you.
You didn't have to do that. It's very nice. It's also very
nothing. Dora Lee, I'm a rich man. I've got a checkbook over
on that desk. You just say the word and you can write your own figure.
I could do that. Now, Mister Hart, I sign your name better than you
do. No, Dora Lee, I'm serious. Don't you understand? I am crazy
about you. You're all I ever think about. Mister Hart, I've told you before,
I'm a married woman and I'm a married man. That's what makes it so perfect.
Oh, Mister Hart. Dory, please. Look, I want you.
Oh, for heaven. I hate you. What are you doing,
Mister Hartley? Call me Frank.
Frank, what are you doing on the floor? Nothing. I tripped.
Hit my knee on the damn coffee table.
Did you hurt yourself? What are you doing down here? You know I hate
it when you come down here like this. You know that. Oh, now, Frank,
don't be mad at me. I just came from the travel agency, and they
have the most wonderful choice of cruises. Oh,
hello, Dora Lee. Hi, Miss Hart. How are you? I'm fine.
What a lovely scarf. Well, it's a present from your husband.
Oh, Frank, that was so thoughtful of you.
I'm just glad he appreciates you. Put it on.
Oh, it's absolutely adorable. And you
are so attractive. You're sweet. I appreciate that,
Dora Lee. That'll be all for now. You can just finish the letter later
on. Bye. Oh, Frank. Now, just let me show you these brochures. It won't
take a second. And you know, you did promise to go.
Right. Lovely one.
It's an italian line. Looks just like a love boat, doesn't it?
It does. Four weeks of sunshine. Four weeks? What, are you
out of your mind? You think I'm gonna spend four weeks of my life drifting
around on that boat? Well, I'll be damned. Just look
and see who got paid off her services rendered. That's.
That's the scarf you bought. Oh, who cares? I suppose she
deserves it. Come on. I bet you can't wait to see the Xerox room.
Now, all these rush memos are always done on regulation consolidated
letterhead. So you place it in here. Eight and a half by eleven. See that?
Close the bin firmly. Turn on the power.
Several people have lost their hearing in this room.
Select the number of copies, make this a little darker
and start the print. It's going to feed right here. Here it comes. Okay,
now, if anything goes wrong, just watch this panel machine. I'll tell you just what
to do. I think I can handle. Okay, I'll lead you to it.
We see, during the clip, he set up the desk to have her bend down
and try to look at her tits and pick up the pencil cup that he
was about to knock over. The approach he makes at her this time
is both far more disgusting and twisted than even the movie seems
to portray. This is extremely fucking wrong. Like, you can see that
while this is coded in the times of. He's just taking it too far.
You know what I mean? You get what I'm saying? They also just take
it a bit over the top and hint at how he tried to arrange for
them to stay in a hotel together for a convention that didn't exist. Exist because
he's trying to sleep with her and she needs the job, so she's putting
up with it. The fact that he could get away with this kind of behavior,
this excessively for this long. And she just deals with it because she needs
the job. Just shows how fucking disgusting things were for women
at this time. And it hasn't really improved as much as it fucking should.
Yeah. Right. And it's. Yeah, it's still probably pretty bad out there
for women, but it was definitely way worse back then.
Yeah. It's. You can tell just by looking at what was able to be put
on film as just an example of, you know, someone who. And how
much. Yeah. How he could keep getting away with it just because she
needs the job. Right. Like, that's just that fucking awful. All right, so the end
of the clip starts a sequence of Judy struggling with the copier machine. And not
knowing what to do with it and panicking. She makes some bad choices,
and things keep getting worse as she is literally buried in paper.
She is busted by heart and is unbelievably brow beaten
by him. As she justifiably breaks down at the end of that, he really
took it too far and is the worst fucking boss of all time.
Yeah, right. Just frickin horrible. We see Herbert
to her apartment. Where her ex husband is waiting for her with the finalized
divorce papers. That conversation is awkward, and we
see how civil they are trying to be during it. The movie
then cuts to Judy waking up and starting work again.
Some lady at the office is drinking on the job for quote unquote medicinal purposes.
And then Violet is the ultimate dispatching badass
of the office and doing that type of work. We see that she
basically is running everything. And other people get the credit. Which definitely
happens and almost undoubtedly happens to women
way more often than men. Oh, yeah, definitely.
Dora Lee attempts to make friends, but all the ladies resent her for
the rumors that Hart started. Or has basically started
in some way, shape or form. To try and get credit for something that isn't
happening. In our third clip, Violet Newstead, please hold. Violet Newstead,
please hold. Hi, this is Violet.
Mel. No, that's 210, net 30,
delivered in nine days. That's 2% of four 40, 550 is
80. 811. Oh, my pleasure, Mel.
Violet Newstead, please hold. Hi, this is Violet. Oh, Charlotte, I've got
it right here. I'm just waiting for your call. That route is
32 via Dixie Express.
Don't worry. I've got it under control. Okay, bye bye bye.
Oh, come on, kids. No. Come on. No fighting. Believe me,
there is more than one peanut butter and banana sandwich in the world. What did
I say this morning? Okay. Love you too. No, I don't want to talk to
the dog. Bye bye.
Oh, hi, Judy. How's everything going? Fine,
thanks. Hey, how would you like to have lunch with me today? Well, I'm afraid
I can't. Thanks. Well, maybe tomorrow. I know the cutest little italian
restaurant. Just a hop. Skip my jump. Well, I think I should stay
in the office and get to know the routine. But thanks anyway.
Yeah, sure. You know, I just don't get it,
Dwayne. What's that, honey? I'm as nice as I know how to be to every
single person down at that office. Everybody treats me like a bastard
at a family reunion. Well, come over here and sit down.
Well, that hurts my feelings. Where's my smile?
Tell you. You know, they're just jealous cause you're so pretty. Jealous?
Mm hmm. Now where's my smile? Now I want you to smile.
Okay, you forgot all about that. Cause I wanna give you a real warm reception.
Violet, little coffee? Yes,
sir. Yeah, what else? Did you have a chance to look at the
report I did on the color coding of accounts last month? I gave it to
you. We could improve efficiency by up to 20%. Color coding? Sure,
I looked into that, but that needs a little work. I mean, I'm gonna have
to get back to you on that. Okay.
Oh, Violet, I haven't heard from you. Did you get my mail?
I did, Roz. I tore right through it. Good. You know,
we must clamp down hard on any signs of unionization. Oh,
here comes Mister Hart with Mister Hinkle. Coming from you, of course.
Well, I mean, it means a lot to me. Hello, girls. How's it going?
Just fine, sir. Hello, Mister Hinkle. Raj, you'll be getting
a copy of this report Frank just gave me. We are going to start
color coding the account from now on. Frank done a brilliant study of
its efficiency. Thank you, sir. Really.
Congratulations, Mister Hart. Thank you, Roger. Just brilliant.
You're a fine piece of man power, Frank. Any other reforms
you want to make down here are fine with me. Well, thank you. This is
your floor. You'll run it as you please. Going up,
girls? No, we're going down.
Oh, I can't believe that man. He has no shame.
He stood right there, presented my idea to the president of the
company just like it was his own. Why don't you call me?
All because I'm playing it safe, damn it. In six
weeks, he makes the decision about that promotion. Until then,
I'm playing the good girl. You finished up there? Yeah.
Nice job. Thanks. Can you imagine a mature woman
with four kids installing a garage door opener?
He still refers to me as his girl.
Mom, gotta relax. I'm gonna
roll you a joint. Josh, you know how I feel about that.
Besides, your grandmother will pitch a fit if she even hears you mention the word
marijuana. Withstand moderation.
Besides, you're the one that keeps talking. About harm springs from excess,
right? Okay, yes, I know. I'm talking about one joint,
okay? I don't like it. Josh, how long have you been waiting for this promotion?
Slip it in my purse. It works.
I did it.
What? Now, let me finish, okay? And don't go flying off the handle.
You gave that promotion to Bob Enron instead of me. I've got five year
seniority over here. I know that. For Christ's sake, I trained him. I know that.
But, see, the company. Oh, the company. Bullshit. It's your
decision. You promoted him. You tell me why. Well, in the first place, see,
Bob does have a college degree. Oh, brilliant, brilliant. While he's away at
college getting his precious, useless degree, I'm working my butt off at this company.
And in the second place, he does have a family to support and I
don't. What has that got to do with anything? Violet, look, my hands are tied
here. The company needs a man in this position. Clients would rather deal with men
when it comes to figures. Now we're getting. I lose a promotion because of some
idiot prejudice. The boys in the club are threatened, and you're so intimidated
by any woman that won't sit at the back of the bus. Spare me the
women's lib crap, okay? Now, I know how you feel, and I understand it.
You understand zilch. I understand I'm still a boss here. And even
though you might be pretty valuable out there, you better get a hold of yourself.
I'm not gonna sit here and take this. God damn it,
Dolly, get in here. Okay, I told you six weeks ago to have this chair
fixed. Okay. Okay, I'm gonna leave. But I'm gonna tell you one thing before I
go. Don't you ever refer to me as your girl again.
What in God's name are you talking about? Doralita, what are we gonna
do about this chair? I'll tell you what I'm talking about. I'm no girl.
I'm a woman. Do you hear me? I'm not your wife or your mother
or even your mistress. What? I am your employee,
and as such, I expect to be treated equally with
a little dignity and a little respect. What do you mean,
mistress? Never mind. She's just a little upset. Darleigh, just come off, for God's sake.
The whole company knows you two are having an affair. Who's been saying we're
having an affair? Who's been saying it? He has.
What? Charlotte, where are you
going? I'm gonna get drunk. Atta girl. So you've been
telling everybody I'm sleeping with you, huh? No. Well, that explains it.
That's why these people treat me like some dime store bluesy. They think I'm
screwing the boss. That's not it at all. Oh, and you just
love it, don't you? Gives you some sort of cheap thrill like knocking over
pencils I'm picking up. Let's don't get excited. Get your scummy hands off
of me. Look, I've been straight with you from the first day I got here.
And I put up with all your pinching and staring and chasing me around the
desk. Cause I need this job. But this is the last straw. All right?
Now, wait. Let's. Let's just sit down and. Look. I got a gun out
there in my purse. And up to now, I've been forgiven and forgetting because of
the way I was brought up. But I tell you one thing. If you ever
say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna
get that gun of mine and I'm gonna change you from a rooster to
a hen with one shot. Don't think I can't do it.
Shit. Where are
you going? I need a drink, Roz. I'm taking the rest of the day off.
Attitude, girl. What do you want?
Can't you see I'm busy? I wouldn't disturb you if this weren't important,
but I just heard one of the girls commit a serious infraction.
What are you talking about? Maria Dalgona was in the ladies room speaking
to a girl whose voice I didn't recognize when I distinctly overheard
her reveal her salary and make estimates of yours and
mine. Get rid of her. Dismiss her. It isn't as if she hadn't been warned.
I clearly outlined in my. Didn't hear what I said. Fire the bitch.
What? I don't believe it. You were fired for that?
That's okay, Judy. I wanted to spend more time with my kids anyway.
But it's so unfair. We've got to do.
Sure, let's all revolt. No, no. Don't you get in trouble for me.
It's not worth it. I'll find another job. It was
hard for me to work full time anyway. I promised myself
I wouldn't cry. Oh. Where's Violet? Does she know about
this? Not yet. She's down at Charlie's getting drunk.
Well, I'm gonna tell her. This is a disgrace. Attic girl.
What a rat. What a ydev.
What a creep. I think he told everybody I was
sleeping with him. It's so unfair.
Just so unfair.
Twelve years of service and he shoots me down.
We've got to do something. He can't just treat people like that.
Do? What's to do? Quit. Well, I can't quit saying
all over anyway. Well, look, couldn't we just all get together and
complain? Complaint. Let's face it, we are in a
pink collared ghetto. Let's have another drink.
This one's on me. It's my turn.
I've got it. I've really got it. What's that?
Violet? I didn't think you smoked. Do you roll your own?
This is a gift from my son. Let's just
pop over to the ladies room and light up. Is that one of them marijuana
cigarettes? Shh. We don't have enough for everybody. Cool it.
Come on. No, no, we can't do that. Violet, come in. It is
dangerous, folks. Would you two show a little spunk?
I mean, what are you, a man or a mouse?
I mean, a woman or a wouse? Hey, why don't we go to my house?
My husband's out of the singing gig. We'll have the whole place to ourselves.
We could have ourselves an old fashioned ladies pop party.
You know, to tell you the truth, all that stuff really don't do that much
for me. I smoked a marijuana cigarette at a party once.
I could never figure out what the big time, what the ideal was. Huh?
Threatening heart with a gun. And he knows I've got one,
too. I keep it right here at all
times. All I can think, he must have peed in his
pants.
Have you ever fired it? Have I ever fired it?
Really? Just. Just once. Right after Dwayne bought it for me.
I was calling from this rodeo one night in Dallas with a girlfriend of mine,
and these two men started to hassle us in the parking lot, and they just
wouldn't let up. And so I was gonna be big because I had a gun.
So I reached to get my gun, and I shot a hole clean through
my parking.
But they ran off. I bet they did like
turkeys. Wow, this is.
This is really good pot.
What did you say it was called again? Maui wowie. Well,
I love it. It's primo.
I don't think I could ever carry a gun. I don't care. I don't understand
guys like hard who go out in the woods and shoot those poor,
defenseless animals like thumper and
that cute little skunk. I'd like to hunt. I'd like to
hunt hard. I'd like to chase his lily white tails in the woods and
see how he likes it.
I hunt you, Stone.
Am I stone? I think you're stone.
Oh, it's so funny. What's so funny?
Oh, I have this image of Hart running for his
life, and the whole office is out to get him and hunt him down.
And that clip right there takes us to the first third
of the film being done as the ladies bond over their shared hatred of
their boss, Hart. Well, nothing like some good old fashioned hate
of the boss, that's for damn sure. Yeah, well, he's a sexist, egotistical,
lying, hypocritical bigote. Yeah, totally. Completely.
Yeah. Typically the type of person that gets put in charge just because he's a
sycophantic fuck. Yeah. And we all can
hate him. And it's. He's a very hateable character, but the
actor who plays him is just great. The thing about Daphne
Coleman is he's the guy that plays this type of person a little too
fucking well. And you want to absolutely hate him, but, like,
in the end, you're probably like, no, he probably was a pretty decent dude,
at least. Because it's the ones that the opposite that aren't.
Yeah. It's always the ones who play that. You, who are really great at playing
assholes is, you know, you just is
usually the one that's awesome. Often be the
case. Yeah. You at least hope, but sometimes it's not. Yeah. And I don't know
enough about Daphne Coleman's life to be able to say, but he definitely never
took himself seriously because, Jesus Christ, you should see some of the
things he's in, like meet the Applegates or whatever. Yeah, right. Yeah. Where the
cockroaches try to take over the fucking world. He wears
a dress in that for, like, most of the film. And it's fucking hilarious.
Christ. And it's good
stuff all the time. Yeah. He has a decent sense of humor about it is
all I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what's that fucking kids movie
where he was like, the spy hero? Yep. I love that movie.
I watched that thing all the time. Yeah, but he was like a fantasy.
Spy, but also he was actually a toy.
Yeah, yeah. But he came to life and, like, protected the kid. And it was
really cornball and kind of a real Cornball kids movie,
but he had fun with it. My absolute favorite role of Daphne Coleman of all
time, playing an asshole, though, is in modern
problems, which I know is a Chevy Chase vehicle. And he's a horrible person.
But yeah, Daphne Coleman in that is absolutely hilarious,
where he's, like, constantly trying to be, like, this alpha male dude, which is why
it's so much funnier to see him and meet the Applegates or whatever the fuck
that was, because I'm thinking and picturing him from modern problems
being that character and meet the Applegates. And that makes. Makes it funnier to me.
I don't know why. Yeah, completely. All right, are we ready to move on.
Yes. All right, so the middle third starts with Judy's fantasy described in
the clip of the entire office hunting down heart. It reminds
me of the wolf man almost, where they are acting like villagers with hounds,
torches, pitchforks, everything to hunt him. And it really is pretty funny.
It still made me kind of chuckle a little bit. Yeah. And you really need
to kind of watch it. I'm not going to go through the entire description of
it because it is something that you need to see.
Also, Jane Fonda in that hunting outfit is a total thing for sure.
Like, yeah. Oh, yes. Judy is waiting for Hart
in his office in this dream of how they would like to hunt him
down and kill him. And that leads to our fourth clip. Who's there?
Hello, Hart. Looks like you've gotten yourself in a spot of
trouble. Judy. Judy, you've got to help me. That mob has gone crazy out
there. They're trying to kill me. Why would they want to do a nasty thing
like that? I don't know. I'm not such a bad guy. You're a sexist,
egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. So I have a few faults. Who doesn't?
Is that any reason to kill me? You're foul heart. A wart on
the nose of humanity. And I'm going to blast it off. Oh,
Judy, Judy, Judy. Goodbye, boss man. It's quitting time.
You can't mean this.
1234. Why me? I'm just an ordinary
guy trying to do his job. Seven. Eight. Nine.
Holy shit. Ten.
He darts off as she begins shooting at him. They pull a shooting gallery on
a midway kind of joke, with Hart running back and forth with a trash can
on his head before Judy starts shooting in different directions to
send him back the other direction, running back and forth. And then at some point,
they cut to Judy checking stalls in the bathroom. When he runs off, she finds
him trying to hide there within one of the stalls. There is then a gunshot
and a cut to his head mounted on the wall as it zooms
back to reality of the stone ladies fantasizing about
killing the patriarchy personified by heart. Yeah,
the ladies have the munchies after we return to them, and they are
so high. It all is so good to them. They keep talking about how
everything so tastes so wonderful. Each person is eating their own particular snack,
that they're talking about how great it is, and you can tell it's because they're
high, because Lily Tomlin's character talks about how tasty the olives are.
And no one thinks olives are tasty. Unless they're stoned. Yeah,
exactly. We then see the lady start talking about
Dora Lee's fantasy on how to kill the patriarchy, which is next. And it
involves her turning the table tables on heart and treating him like a soulless
piece of meat for her to sample, is now her method of terminating
him. She ends up sexually harassing him back. And while it may
be turnabouts, fair play, the character that's there is supposed
to be playing sweet and innocent, and it's still sexual harassment. And sexual harassment
is always wrong. It's always wrong. It is used
to show how she has been victimized by him. And they're doing
the inverse to show you, like, well, how would you like it? Men, more or
less, is how that's kind of going. But, I mean, it's. It's effective.
The way what they're trying to do, where they're trying to teach us a lesson,
but it just feels wrong. Like all watching, all sexual harassment is fucking
wrong. But you gotta let them. It is.
There is a big part of that. You have to. You know, you're. You're.
You are supposed to be learning something from this. Right? Well, it's also not just
nothing, but. Also it's a lifetime victim, or at least the entirety
of this job, being victimized as sexual harassment
and just wishing they could make him feel the way that he makes them feel.
Basically what this is all about. That's what the fantasy is all about.
That's what I'm getting at. It's just. Yeah, it's just this drives the point home
about the sexual harassment. And anyway, she goes right into
the victimizing, and it is, like we said, quite effective. This finally culminates in Dora
Lee roping, hog tying, and then slow roasting heart over a fire,
when he finally stands up to her and tries to run away. And then that
fantasy ends and we see Violet stream begins where she is
Snow White in the office and also has all the
animated woodland friends there with her. And she is asked to
get heart his coffee. So she does in her own princess little
style. It's a long sequence of her being the ultimate princess,
but also ends up poisoning Hart's coffee. It's very Disney
cartoon with it. And it's like my favorite thing from when I was a kid
watching it. I always loved it and thought it was great. And she does all
this with the help with her woodland friends. She hands him the coffee,
and that leads to our fifth clip. Your coffee,
Mister Hartley. Just the way
you like it.
More coffee, mister? Hart?
Coffee?
I think there was something in that coffee. I think you're
right. I think it was poison.
Right again. You did
it.
But why? Why do
you think?
Because I'm a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot.
Bingo.
Oh, man, that's funny. Yeah, that's good. Shit. At the end of the clip,
she does a cartoon throwing of him out the window by using a contraption
that's somehow in his office. Office chair that lifts him up to over the area
where the window is supposed to be. And it already has a handle to it,
which tilts back and then ejects him out the window. And they basically
free the castle, which is their office. And then the land of the tyranny
of the patriarchy. By doing this, they show the ladies rule the castle as princesses
in a tower. And the land is now somehow magically
healed and happy again. And is really kind of foreshadowing, with Lily
Tomlin getting her wish, essentially. More or less, yeah. I mean,
they're giving you the plot of the film from here.
They're letting you know what's up. Yeah. So it cuts from that
happy ending of them all being princesses in a fairy tale to all the
friends back at work the following day. And our 6th clip.
I had such a good time last. You know, we should do
that more often. How is old heart? I haven't seen him all morning. You know,
he didn't say a word to me about yesterday. He's too happy. His wife left
this morning on a two month cruise to the Southe. South Seas.
Lucky her. I don't know. She still has to come back to him,
poor thing. Let's have lunch today. Oh, I can't.
I gotta go shopping. We're running out of everything. Cat food,
fish food, ant spray, rat poison. Ann Hart wants me to
take papers to his lawyer. I'm gonna be gone all afternoon.
Oh, damn it. When you're away, that only means one
thing.
Coffee, Violethe. Now.
Yes, sir.
I swear, Betty, one of these days he's gonna push me too
far. And then I'm gonna really let him have it. I mean, enough is enough.
We're out of skinny and sweet. I know. I got some at lunch today.
What does he think he is anyway? A miserable,
petty, pit dictator, ordering me around like
I'm some sort of flunky. I get so mad at
myself. I mean, he's such a nerd, Violet. He just does
it to annoy you. Don't let him get to you. Besides,
the day's almost. You're right. I tell myself the same thing.
But Betty, inside, I can feel the pressure building up. I can't take much more
of this. Something, somewhere, sometime, is going to snap.
And then you gotta help Mister Hart, because I won't be responsible for my actions.
But right now, I'm calm. Perfect calm.
Yeah, that's why you don't say those kinds of thoughts out loud. You leave those
intrusive thoughts inside so that if you ever do act on them, you don't
leave a pattern of that type of suspicious behavior for them
to comment on. Yeah, right. You don't want any of
that. At the end of the clip, we see that violet, in her obvious
rage and her eagerness to get back to doing actual work
and not trying to be a servant in her about, has easily
mistaken the rat poison she bought for her home with the
sweet and low she bought for the office, because the
boxes do look very similar. She enters Hart's office with the
accidentally poisoned coffee. And that is our 7th clip.
No, not for 1 second. Right.
Hold it. Hold it a minute. Listen, I've already told Bob Enright in Francine.
Now, I'm telling you, next time you get anything at all from Ajax warehouse,
you bring it directly to me. Now, you got that? You're the boss. You might
remember that a little more often. See? He caught you.
I'm a tree. I can bend. Hang in there,
honey. It's almost 05:00. Now, you listen to me. Ajax is my deal,
so you get your money when I give it to you. And don't ever call
me at this number again. Sure.
Lee, you're late.
Oh, my goodness. Mister Hart. Mister Hartley.
Mister Hart. Mister Hart. Oh, no.
Oh, I'm sorry I'm late. Lila, where have you been? You've missed
all the excitement. What happened? They took Hart away in an ambulance,
unconscious. He had an attack or something. You did? Well, where's Doralee?
Well, she went with him. I hope it's not too serious.
Yeah, me neither. Well, maybe a little serious. Some trifle
that'll keep him out of the office for the next 20 years. Come on,
let's go. I gotta drop this off. I'll meet you at the elevator. Okay.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Violet. Isn't it awful about Mister Hart? How did it
happen, Roz? He fell and hit his head on the credenza.
What about the coffee? What? Where is the coffee
cup? Oh, here. It was by him on the floor. He must
have been drinking it when he blacked out.
What hospital. St. Anne Ambrose.
Oh, my God. I know how you feel.
Judy. Aw, Judy. Hurry.
Hurry. What's the matter? Something terrible's happened. You can't believe it.
Don't believe it. Violet. How could you make such a stupid mistake?
I thought it was skinny and sweet. Here. Look at the box.
They are identical, except for the little scarlet crossbones on the label.
Tomorrow. Crazy. Someone's gonna see you. I gotta get to the hospital. Tell them
what happened. They'll have to pump his stomach. Look, don't be hysterical.
Don't be hysterical. You're right. Keep calm. Keep calm.
You better speak to admitting, ma'am. Yeah, right. My boss was
brought in. Franklin Hart. There we go.
What's going on? Get easy. You blacked out. How do you feel?
I feel fine. I just fell off a chair and hit my head,
that's all. Quite a bumper.
I think we'll take you upstairs for x rays. X rays? Mm hmm.
Wait a minute, doc. I don't want any x rays. I like my hair just
the way it is. But we ought to do some tests and make sure you
do tests on yourself. I know what you guys racket is. You're not
gonna sucker me into a lot of hospital pills, doctor spies. Not for
a little bump on the head. Hey, doc. Cardiac arrest.
Stop breathing. Open up the shirt. Plug him up to the monitor.
123-4512.
Hurry. He's our only witness. We had
him all ready to testify. Now this mister.
Lee. Door. Lee. What are you two doing here? Dorley, something terrible
has happened. What? Violet put rat boys in in Hart's coffee. I didn't do it
on purpose. It was an accident. You mean. That's right. He looks just
like skinny and sweet. Good grief. Where is he? We've got to tell the
doctor. He's in the emergency room. It's the first door down on the riding.
They took him in. Oh, my God. There's a policeman.
What's he doing here? I don't know.
Hey, the guy that brought in on the gurney. How is he? He's not so
good. Well, when can I speak to the doctor? He knows you're here. Oh,
my God. They found out about it already. Oh, don't panic. Please don't panic.
How is he, doc? Oh, he's dead. Oh. Oh, my God.
Can you tell what caused it? Not without an autopsy. Fellas can come into my
office. I'm fairly certain it was some kind of poison. Boys.
Easy now. Why is that poison? Poison,
Violet. Well, it's all over. Did you hear an autopsy?
I might as well. Just save him the trouble and give him the rat poison.
Violet, are you crazy? You want someone to see him?
Who cares? I'm finished. I'm a murderer. No,
you're not. I'm a murderess. My poor kids. Violet,
you're nothing until proven guilty. You know they're gonna find the poison when
they do the autopsy on the body. I'm gonna get rid of the poison.
No. No. I'll get rid of the body. No, Violet, it's not murder. There are
extenuating circumstances. It was an accident. An accident? She was thinking
about doing it last night. We were all thinking about doing it last
night. But she didn't do it on purpose. Oh, maybe unconsciously I did. It's no
use. I'm gonna go to the pen. We better get her a lawyer. I'm gonna
be locked up for life. Where's the phone? Over there. Do you have any change?
I think so. I just sit right here. I'm gonna lose my job. Violet,
now just calm down. I'm no fool. I've killed the boss. You think they're not
gonna fire me for a thing like that? Hush. I just sit here. We'll be
right back. Oh. Medic. Is this the guy for
the autopsy? Yeah. Doctor would like to see you.
Right this way. The end of the clip starts a sequence where
Violet decides to steal what she believes is Hart's body. She escalates
the risk by putting on a doctor's coat to cover what she is
doing, or an attempt to cover what she is doing and look like official staff.
She is startled by some kind of candy striper while trying to sneak the body
out. More dialogue. And. God damn it, next clip.
Excuse me, could you tell me where the coffee shop is, please? What? The coffee
shop. The coffee shop. No, I'm new here. I don't drink coffee. I'm new
here, too. Where do you work? Downstairs. Mark. That's right.
Yes, yes, yes. How did he. Coffee. Too much
coffee. I'm just taking him out for some air. I mean, some fresh air for
me. He's just coming along for the ride. What? You're a doctor?
I didn't see your badge. Sorry. I'm a doctor. So why the
hell am I talking to you? Piss off. Oh, honey, I think
Violet has flipped out. Piss off.
The ladies see Violet steal the body during the clip, and we watch her load
it into her trunk and ditch the gurney in a very efficient
and creepy way. The ladies hop in the car with her
as she drives off, and their panic is obviously our 9th,
why are. You driving so fast? Look, I've got a great idea. They can't
do an autopsy without a body. I told you, she's flipped.
She has just absolutely. Where is the body? In the trunk.
Look, all we've got to do is get some cement blocks, chain him to his
feet, and pitch him off the end of the pier. No one will ever know.
You are crazy. They'll find it. They always find it. Oh,
crazy, am I? They never found Jimmy Hoffa.
Okay, well, you just slow down. Let's not panic.
Let's not panic. There's a restaurant up there. Why don't we pull over and
stop for a while? A restaurant? How can you think of food
at a time like this? I'm not thinking of food.
I'm not hungry.
Violet, we're not criminal. You're not a criminal. It was an accident.
Well, we're criminals now. We've just stolen a corpse from a hospital.
That sounds like criminal talk. We'll take it back. We'll just turn around
and take it back. Oh, we'll get taught. If we go back now,
you think they're going to listen to us? Would you two please stop arguing and
think about where we can lay our hands on some cement?
Look out. Don't panic. Don't panic.
What happened? She panicked. Nobody's hurt.
It's just a little accident. Be out here. The front
fender's hitting the tire. Oh, good Lord. Get out. Let's look at it.
Oh, that ain't too bad. We need to pull that fender out a little.
Here, come on, give me a hand. Wait, that that's no use.
We need a crowbar or something. There's a tire iron in the trunk.
I'll get it. Judy, turn the blanken.
Uh, Judy, did you come back here for a second? What? Look.
Who's that? I don't know. Where's Hart? I don't know. Oh, my God.
You mean she. Oh, my God. Violet, honey, would you come
over here for a second? What is the matter with you two? We have
got to get the. Who is that? I don't know. What do you mean,
you don't know? What happened to Hart's body? It's not here. What do
you think, it just got up and walked away? But I. Violet,
how could you? How could you? I guess I must have made a mistake.
Oh, you steal the wrong body from the hospital, and all you can say is,
I must have made a mistake? It could happen to anyone. Oh,
this is awful. So improper. It's so disrespectful
he's dead. He doesn't mind. Look, there is nothing to get excited
about. We'll just take it back. What? No harm's done. Come on,
let's turn around. We'll take it back. That's just great. We just waltz
in there and say we're sorry, we made a mistake. Well, maybe they'll give us
heart's body in exchange. There is no need to get sarcastic.
You took it. You take it back. No, no. Now, stop it. We're all in
this together. Now, we have to be very calm. We're gonna fix
the fender. We're gonna go back to the hospital. We'll figure out a plan.
Then we're all gonna sit down and very calmly decide what we're gonna do next.
I could. Sadist woman. What about. Will you two shut up?
Good stuff. Yeah. The absurdist nature of this is just fucking great. I love
the way that it escalates. After they get the fender in
enough shape to head back to the hospital, they drive off and have either
a tail light out or a short, causing the blinking. This attracts
the attention of the pigs. And the ladies try to remain calm when they are
pulled over in our 10th clip. Good evening, ladies. May I see your license and
registration, please? Why? I wasn't speedy. I didn't say you were. Your taillight
is blinking. It is? Are your signals on? No. Well, there must be a short
in the trunk. A short in the trunk? We've got a short in the trunk.
Probably just a defective wire or something. You want to take a look? Do we
want to take a look? No, we can't, officer. We don't have time.
We're on an emergency. That's right. She's a doctor. Oh,
you're a doctor. What do you think I am, a beautician? I'm sorry,
doctor. I didn't see your badge. What's the trouble? The trouble is I'm taking this
woman to the hospital, and she's very sick. Which one of you is sick?
I am. She is. They're both sick.
What is that you're hiding there? What, this? Yes. It's rat poison.
She ate what? She ate the rat poison. That's why they're sick.
You eat the rat poison? I thought it was skinny and sweet. It looks
just like skinny and sweet. Except for the little skull and crossbones on the label.
Can we go now, officer? I'm not feeling very well. My God, did you hear
that? She's not feeling very well. I've got a dying woman on my hands.
And you want to look for a short in the trunk. I'm sorry, doctor.
If we don't make it to the hospital on time, I'm holding you responsible.
Well, don't worry, doctor. I'll give you an escort. An escort he's going to give
us? That's an escort? Lord. Just hang on, ladies, and follow me.
I'll get it. Mack, we can't wait. How did
it go? I couldn't find that. A thing about heart. They either don't know or
they won't tell us. What are we gonna do?
Nothing. We're gonna wait until they come to us, go to
the office in the morning, and pretend like nothing has happened. Well, what about the
other matter? Don't worry about it.
It's been taken care of. They cut from this to a maid at the hospital,
finding the body in the the toilet and stating to a co worker that they
have another stiff in the john. The following work day, Hart is back, and nothing
seems to be wrong with him. The ladies go over everything
in the john, and it turns out that Roz was listening and taking notes on
toilet paper in our 11th clip. I mean, all that running around
last night was useless. Hart left the hospital with a little bump on
his head. I tell you, I did put the poison in the coffee. I know
it. Well, he. He absolutely did not drink it, Violet. I mean, how could
we be so stupid? Oh, did anybody think to look under.
Yes. Yes. And there's nobody there. Look, I propose we forget the
whole thing, right? It never happened. That's okay with me.
Cops and corpses. I'll never mention it again. Well, thank God it's Friday.
Hey, why don't we start the weekend with a drink after work at Charlie's?
You know, we are so lucky. I am so glad this whole mess is
finally over. Is this accurate? They actually said this? As clearly
as I can make out. My notes were a little fuzzy. Well, this is very
interesting. Stealing corpses, eluding the police.
Maybe they knew you were hiding, just pulling your leg. I don't think so.
In any event, I think you should be aware of that coffee business. Yeah,
I think I present to some advantage. Woo. Look out,
Charlie's, here we come. Oh, Judy, wait just
a second. I'll be right back. Okay, I'll tell Violet. It's 05:00.
Mister Hart, you wanted to see me? I did, Dora Lee. I'd like you to
come over to my house tonight. Oh, wait, now I'm not working tonight.
Mister Hart, this is Friday, remember? Who said anything about work?
Oh, by the way, have you ever heard of strychnine?
Strychnine is a poison, I think. Yes, it is a poison. I was just on
the phone to the hospital. Evidently, they found traces of strychnine
when they pumped out my stomach yesterday. What? I thought you told me
you just hit your head. I had to be sure because I think you need
evidence. Like if you're gonna accuse somebody of murder. Murder? Yeah,
you and Violet and that girl Judy tried to murder me yesterday. Put the rat
poison in my coffee. Oh, my goodness. I don't leave, Mister Hart.
It was all a big mistake. That's very good. See, you should be
scared, because I know all about it. Now all I have to do is pick
a phone, call the police. But it really was a mistake, Mister Hart. Violet put
the poison in strictly by accident. Oh, really? She might be
able to get a jury to believe that. And again, she might not. But I
think the big question here is whether or not you won't take that chance.
Just what exactly are you driving at? Well, it's very simple. You come over to
my house tonight and I'll just forget the whole thing. You are disgusted.
Yes. I don't know. Too bad. Mister Hart, I'm begging you,
think about what you're doing. I'm not the one that started this. It was you
three girls that did our plotting. Well, I'm not gonna let you do this.
There's another phone over there, Dorlee. Incidentally, that's something else
you might want to think about. You know, I'm very funny, but I don't like
it when people give back my presence. Oh, you are are rotten,
Mister Hart. Did anybody ever tell you that? I never thought I'd live
to see the day. I'd say this about another human being, but you are evil.
That's right. Evil to the core. I love man like that. And Mister Hart,
if you touch that phone, I'm gonna jerky clean out of the wall whether
you like it or not. Don't thank me. Shut up. Now wait
a minute. Can't you just let me loose her? I'm calling for help.
No, I don't want you to call her help, sir. You won't listen,
but you'll shut up and stay there. I gotta figure out what to do.
Roz, is Mister Hardy up? Yeah, well, yeah,
but he's. He's tied up at the moment. Oh, well, I guess I
can wait until Monday. Have a nice weekend. Yeah, you too, Roz.
Oh, Judy, can you come here second? You ready to.
No, something awful awful has happened. Where's Violet? She's in the
storage room. What's the matter? Hart knows everything about last
night. What? I mean, he really thinks the three of us
were trying to kill him. He was going to call the police and have us
arrested. Oh, dear God. Get in there and keep an eye on him.
You lock that door and don't let anybody in. I've got to get Violet.
Oh, dear God. Oh,
dear goddess.
Mister Hart, I'm so sorry.
What? Oh, I can't understand what you're saying.
Thank God one of you has come to your senses. Get me loose.
Doorley didn't mean any harm. Mister Hart. Just get me untied, okay? Well,
I can't do that until they come back. What do you think I'm gonna do,
run away or something? Look, I won't do anything. I give you my word of
honor. If you just get me untied. Okay? Come on. There's a little pain involved
here. Sorry. Well, maybe I'll just loosen it a
little bit. Good. Loosen it. Mister Hart, you've got to
understand. What happened last night, it was just a series of misunderstandings.
Yeah, Violet didn't mean to kill you. She just accidentally put rat poison
in your coffee. Look at Mister Hart.
Mister Hart, you gave me your word. I lied.
God damn it. You're not leaving this office.
That's me. You know, I was just pretending a while ago, but this thing is
getting out of hand. And nobody makes a fool out of me in my own
office. I'm calling the police. Hold it right
there. All right, guys, you're as crazy as the other two. Close that door or
I'll shoot. Curtis. Don't shoot. I give
up. Don't shoot. What are you doing? Don't shoot it. Don't shoot. Judy,
put it. Judy, what are you doing? Oh,
my God. He was gonna call the police.
The clip ends with the women kidnapping Hart and driving off in a panic.
And that is the end of the middle third of the film. So we
are now two thirds down with only one third left to go at this point,
my man. Oh, I mean, God, did he hate Daphne Coleman's character.
Yeah, he plays greasy and slimy so well. Especially.
It's really evident in that clip where he uses the fact that Judy
is somewhat of a downy innocent compared to the other two women.
She may have been like the type of woman who married her high school sweetheart
until he cheated on her and left her. And she's never really had to really
do anything for herself. And I don't think she's ever been allowed because sexism.
Right. What about this other lady who's the bootlicker?
Roz. Right. She's the fucking worst. Yeah. Just the fucking worst,
man. She team up with your people. There's always that
one person too, who's just like, nah, the cougar won't eat my face.
So, yeah, she's voting for the leopards eating my face party,
thinking that if she votes for them early, the leopards won't eat her
face. Yeah, yeah. But the leopards will eat your face. Yeah. That's what's
going to happen no matter what. Management is not your friend.
Middle management is not your friend. And if you are ratting
out everybody around you in the hopes of becoming friends with middle
management or management, all you're really doing is being a fucking bootlicker.
That's right. You might as well be a fucking scab because you're
disgusting. Yeah, you're gross, motherfucker.
And you try to teach this ethos to people at work and they just don't
appreciate it. Get you fired. Yeah. Yeah.
You try to help out people and then what happens? You get
horrifically banned. You get
a meeting call with your boss in HR.
For fuck's sakes. Yeah. I really like what this movie
is, is portraying and what's end up. What ends up happening here.
Obviously, this is the most extreme version of it,
but essentially this is what really does need to happen is women just
need to start taking control. Because once they do,
things will probably get better. Because all men have been doing is fucking it up
for centuries. So let's let somebody else give it a shot and see what they
come up with. Yeah, I mean, eventually, I don't know, fuck it.
And we're all gonna fucking die. It's too late for that now. But I mean,
it shows you what it could be in the utopia in this movie. Like with
fantasy. So let's go for it.
Go ahead and finish it off. What do you say? Let's do it. All right,
so the run to the end starts with the ladies pulling up into Hart's driveway
and unloading him from the trunk of the car in our 12th clip. So what
do we gonna do now? You pay for this. I swear
you'll pay for this, Mister. Hart, if you'd only listen. You listen to me.
I'll see you all in prison before I'm through. Kidnapping, attempted murder,
roped, beaten, rat poison. I won't rest until you all get 20 years
in prison. You understand? That's funny. Ass.
We have to do something. We can't just keep him here forever. Oh,
you hurt him. He don't believe us. He wants to prosecute. Well, why wasn't he?
He's got you for poison. Him and me for roping him, and you for acting
like he was first prize at a turkey shoot. Well, how are we gonna keep
him from talking? Well, I say we hire a couple of wranglers to go upstairs
and beat the shit out of him. We could only find something on him.
Maybe we could trade off blackmail. Oh, that sounds good.
What could we get on him? A sex candle. Take a picture of him in
bed with a prostitute. Oh, who'd care? Yeah, Hart would just
buy up the copies and send them out as Christmas cards.
We've gone over everything. Well, we might as well face it.
He's got us. We're licked. Wait a minute.
What's this doing here? What?
Maybe we do have something to bargain with after all. What is it?
An account book for Ajax warehouse.
See, there's something suspicious going on here.
Let me see that. But it's too dark. Let's run up to that
window. I think we got him.
I think we got him.
Yes, indeed. It looks like Frank has been a very naughty boy.
An empty warehouse? What's wrong with that? That's what Billy saw Este
said. And they gave him 15 years for embezzlement. That warehouse
is supposed to be filled with inventory from Consolidated. But you sold
it and you pocketed the money. You'll never be able to prove that.
Well, I'm gonna order the invoices from head office on Monday.
I think you'll see the light when they arrive. You start
tangling with me, you'd better be prepared to play very rough. Cause I'm not gonna
be stopped by three dumb witted broads.
I'm gonna get loose. I'm gonna break loose if I have to kill somebody to
do it. If we're gonna keep him tied up for three or
four days, we've gotta devise a better system of confinement.
Yes, something that limits his movement. But it should wear
well and be comfortable. This leads
to a sequence of dog carler harness and various other gear
shopping that culminates in a mega bondage suit that is ceiling
mounted to a garage door opener,
wire pull, taking all of the menace out of heart. And that
he may have had in any way, shape or form. Because with the touch of
a button, he's just lofted to the ceiling in this harness that just holds
him up like a child. There's nothing he can do to stop it.
Yep. Because it's a harness that is absolutely designed to hold you from the front.
Like that when you are parasailing. Like that's what. Or not.
Or, uh, hand gliding. Right. Like that's what it is. It's a hand glider suit
that it's all strapped to him so he can still do his business on the
toilet and everything. And. And it's locked in place.
He can't get out. There is a couple of spots where I noticed that they
were using, like, some crampons where if he would have really looked, they could have.
They could have just like, you know, done the little push the trigger and get
loose. Uh, yeah, on the crampon or whatever the clip thing
is that they call it, you know, the little clamps that they were using.
Yeah, the little clips, I think is the best word
for. Yeah. Yeah, the little clips that they end up using. I'm trying to use
the term that they're used for when they're rock climbing because I'm trying.
Yeah. I have no idea. Yeah, it doesn't. Fuck, I ain't going. I ain't
doing no rock climbing. No, obviously not. No,
that's not going to happen around here.
That's horseshit. But anyway, there's a couple spots where their design had flaws,
where they should have been using those master locks that they were using on a
lot of the other pieces. But it gets the point across and it definitely has
a heavy sexual bondage look to it, with all the black leather and the studs
and spikes. Yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ.
The ladies explain even more about how this works out in our
next clip. So we figure you'll sign our statement by the end of the week
and then we'll be able to let you go. Well, I got all the razors
and the scissors from the bathroom and all the glass, just in
case. I brought you some books and magazines.
This one is really good. This will keep you up to date on all the
daytime soap operas. Once you start looking at them, you really get
hooked. And I got your cigars. Judy, you'll be staying here at night.
Dora Lee will bring you your lunch. And in the daytime we have this little
security system. I paid for it on your master
charge. You three broads are out of your mind. You think you can keep me
here for a week, for Christ's sake, I'm the boss. Don't you think I might
be missed at the office, frankly? In Hart's office?
No, he's not here right now. Can I help you?
Yes, Mister Strell? Judy Burnley, please hold.
Judy Burnley, please hold. Hello? Judy Burnley.
Hey, Violet. What can I do you for? Bob, would you look at
this? I've checked all over and I can't make it out.
But Dora Lee, I want to talk to him today. Well,
I will tell him. He's not here.
He's not? Well, that's kind of funny. I thought he
was. Well, he hasn't gone to lunch. His coat still
here. Look at that. I have told him a hundred
times, this can be very dangerous. I'm sure he'll be back,
Roz, you want to just wait around here for him? No, no, thank you.
But please tell him it's very important I talk to him sometime today.
I will certainly tell him, Roz. She is going
to be tough. Hmm. What about the other piece
of cake? There were a few questions that we needed to answer for. Yeah,
I saw those. And a couple of letters I thought you should see. And other
than that, I think we're fine. Okay.
Did you want a cup of coffee? Oh,
sorry.
Sorry. During the clip, we see Hart trying to wiggle his way
out of the bondage. And then Roz is becoming an increasing issue for
the ladies at the office because she is dying to lick Hart's
boots. Yes. Art makes a weapon at the end of the clip and tries
to get after Doralee by breaking up the tray table.
And then he thinks he's going to attack her with it. She uses the garage
opener trick and hangs him up in the air, taking away all of his attempts
at being in control. Once again, they cut from this to our 14th
clip. I don't understand. Did you give him my message?
Well, yes, I did, Roz, but he left the office just the same.
But I bet you can still catch him. Judy,
do you see Mister Hart? Yes. Well, stop him.
Mister Hart. Mister Hart.
Mister Hart. Mister.
Oh, you just missed him.
We can't keep that up all week. You're right. She's going to be a problem.
Well, I've got some bad news. Here's the telex from
head office in New York. They started the computer
changeover. They won't be able to send us the inventory
invoices for Ajax Warehouse for another four to six
weeks. Four to six weeks? We have to keep heart tied
up all that time? Do we have a choice? Yeah, I think we can pull
it off. I really do. I never realized how unpopular heart is,
but nobody wants to see him face. To face except Roz.
What if we sent Roz on vacation? Yeah, but that's only. Only two
weeks. We've got to keep her away longer than that. Hey, have you ever
heard of the Aspen language center? It's one of these places that gives you
very concentrated lessons in foreign languages. Why don't we send her there?
You know, that's not half bad. We could get Hart to write her that it's
top secret. Consolidated is opening overseas centers, and they need executives
who can, I don't know, speak French. Do you think she'd go? Are you
kidding? If Hart ask her to. Bonjour.
Bonjour. Bonjour. Boy, I mean,
it was just so easy. I just typed up this memo and signed Hart's
name to it. Well, she doesn't get back until the 15th, and Missy doesn't return
until the 24th. Poor old Missy. Don't you feel sorry for her? I think
I'll have Hart send her some flowers and Tahiti. How's everything upstairs?
Very subdued. I think he's plotting something.
Yeah, well, I can see it's gonna be erased. See if he can get.
Before we get the inventory invoices sometime around
here. As a matter of fact, I think while I'm at it, I'll just have
Hart let everybody keep flowers on their desks, saying some things
around that office. Some of those rules of his are so depressing.
At the end of the clip, we see the ladies start improving the lives of
the workers. And allowing them to have a somewhat more cheerful environment.
And then they really make changes that matter and really cater to their
fellow workers. While Hart sits and watches tv in their bondage,
the changes the ladies make are starting to
be noticed. And someone is taking notes on them and everything that
is happening. Heart is starting to grow accustomed to the
bondage, but is still searching for any way to get out of this.
Because he cannot stand the fact that women are controlling everything that he
does. And he ends up finding some hope in a nail file the lady's
left in the bathroom of his current bathroom suite.
He files and files away at the thick leather cuff
on his wrist. While Judy is staying at the house for that
night. We see a man is outside stalking her as she grabs a book
to read. He tries a door to get inside, and it startles
her. And turns out it's her ex husband. And that is our pent,
ultimate clip. Dick. Thanks. It's cold out
there. Dick, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Mexico.
I was. I came back. Dick, you can't stay here. You're here alone,
aren't you? Well, yes, I'm house sitting for a friend. Yeah, I've been casing
the house the last few days to make sure. Come on. Spare a cup of
coffee for your freezing old husband, couldn't you? Ex husband. All right,
you sit down and. But then you're gonna have to go. It was no good
from the start. Nothing worked. She left after the first week. Maybe you could call
me tomorrow at work and we could have lunch, talk some more.
I've wanted to see you. I followed you from the office. I thought maybe you
were living with some. No.
What was that? It's nothing. Probably the cat.
I'd better check. I'll go with you. No, it's all right. I'll be right back.
Judy. Oh. What? You look beautiful as ever. Thanks.
Holy shit. Ship.
Let's go.
Let out. Help. Let me go.
Freak out. Judy.
Dick.
Judy. You shut up.
What's going on? Nothing. Who's in that room? Nobody.
Let's go downstairs. Judy, there's somebody in that room. Let me see. Good God.
Oh. Who was
that? A friend. Obviously. So that's what you're into now.
Bondage. What's that? Bondage. S and M. Sex games. That's right.
All of it. I'm into everything. Now get out of here. I can't believe
it. Who is that guy anyway? It's my boss. Your boss? You're having
an affair with your boss? Isn't that typical? Just like you had an affair with
your secretary. But, Judy, this isn't you. You can't be serious.
Don't you tell me what I can or can't do. Those days are over.
And if I want to have have an affair or play sex or
do M and Ms, you can't stop me. M and Ms? As a
matter of fact, I smoke pot. I can see what that kind of living has
done to you. Well, I've changed. I'll say. And not for the better. And to
think that I actually came here tonight to ask you to come back to me.
Huh? Fat chance. Back to what?
You're leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. If that's all you
feel, there's nothing more to say. Oh, yes, there is.
Hit the road, buster. This is where you. You get off. What are
we gonna do about Roz? She gets back on Friday, I think.
Well, if she causes any more trouble, we'll send her back that language school
and let her learn German. I bet she would. You talking
about Roz? Forget her. I just talked to New York. The invoices will be
here first thing Friday. Morning. Perfect. Three more days.
Oh, goodness. So hard. My ex husband's a dumb piece of work. I did
not like him. Yeah. I think it's something
that we need to note, that she is actually willing to
let bygones be bygones and maybe forgive him and take them back,
because she's like, you know, when he's throwing her, his problems
at her, she's sympathetic. And she seems kind of keen to
at least start talking again. And that interest goes away
at his overreaction and outrage of her having any kind
of life outside of the marriage that he ended, to have
a life away from her. I wondered about that, though. Did he really.
Did she really think, like, wanna listen to be sympathetic,
or was she just trying to get him out of the house? Maybe she was
trying to get him out of the house. Maybe she really was feeling sympathetic,
though. It's hard to tell. Like, I always just. I always just assumed that
her being the sweet lady that she was, she wanted to go
back to the life that she just was used to, but would have Judy and.
Or Judy would have Doralee and Violet as friends to
help encourage her along the way. But I think for a brief moment there,
she was considering just going back to the life that she had, you know?
Yeah. Just because it was what she was used to. And, like, everything else has
been so stressful for her. You know, it's one way of interpreting it that I
just always just assumed. But I could be wrong. Maybe she is just trying to
get him out of the house. That seems a lot more likely, because when
she does finally start, like, basically yelling at him
and screaming and saying, yeah, she's into the bondage, and he has no right to
tell her anything. That also is just a way to get him out of the
house at that point, to belittle him. And if she makes
him believe that it's a bondage thing, then she doesn't have to worry about him,
considering that it might be a kidnapping thing. Yeah, right.
Exactly. Either way, it's fucking hilarious.
And I didn't realize that watching this at such a. Such a young age
that I was exposed to all of this talk of bondage and sex in the
way that I was. But also, it might have been what got me interested in
that sort of thing, possibly. I don't
know. Why is my voice going up high when I mention that? The voice.
I was always going up way too high. All right, let's go ahead and finish
this off. Hart's wife returns early from her trip and finds
him all bondaged up and makes a call from
her hotel that she was sent to in our final clip.
Operator. Good morning.
Would you find a number for me, please? Hello?
Dora Lee, this is Missy Hart. Missy. See, Frank told me
never to call anybody at the office. But I guess it's okay to call you
at home. I just wanted to thank you. Thank me?
Yes, I just realized that it must. Have been you who sent me those
beautiful flowers during my trip. And you signed
Frank's name. Well, it was his idea.
Oh, no, no, it wasn't. I asked him. See, that's why I came
back early, because, missy. Did you just say you've come back?
Yeah, three days ago. Frank sent me to a hotel
for an week. He's trying out some kind of a new exercise
program at the house. Oh, my goodness. You should
see what he's done to our bedroom.
Hello? Hello? Um. What?
I don't believe it. It's done. And if she's back, then Hart must have been
free for the last three days. Listen, call Judy and tell her right away.
But if Hart has been doing what I think he's been doing, we've been had.
Don't be silly. I just brought him his breakfast and he's tied up like always.
Or he's just pretending. Look, you keep hold of my gun. I'm coming over.
You just sit tight till I get there.
Judy. Judy. You found
your gun. Wait a minute. What happened to
the time clock? You retired it. What does that mean? Well, while you
were away, we managed to make a few changes. Changes?
What changes? Holy shit.
What the hell is going on? Who authorized all this?
You did, Mister Hart. It's your signature. Oh,
that's very funny. What are all these people doing here? It's not even 09:00.
This is another program you authorize, sir. It's called flexible hours. People set their
own time. Well, some work eight to four, some work ten to six.
Some work nine to five. Well, I'll put a stop to that. Let's go,
girls. Let's go. Sir, it's working very
nicely. A lot less absenteeism. People really like it.
How do they? Well, I hate it. And what I say goes. Just keep going
to my office till I get ready to call the police. Good morning, Violin.
Here it is. Oh, thanks, Eric.
Well, here are the invoices we've been waiting for. But you've made them worthless.
For the last three days, he's managed to put all that missing equipment back into
the warehouse. Cost him a pretty penny to set it
straight. Well, you've won.
You've trumped Ra. So what are you gonna do now? Oh, I'm sorry, Violet.
Why don't you sit down? Sit down over there. I'm just getting ready to play
my last card. I'm gonna send you three bitches to jail.
Well, but who's here? Geez. I'll be right out.
And you better tell hard.
What? When? Holy shit.
No, no, no problem. Okay. Right.
Thanks. What is it? Kensworthy's here. Who's that?
Russell Tinsworthy, the goddamn chairman of the board. He's here to meet with me.
All right, just fire. Look, you've got
to stand by me. Holy shit. There he is.
Here's the man himself, Mister Tinsworthy. Franklin Hart.
Frank Hart. My boy, I would like to shake your hand, and here is
a small token of my esteem. Thank you, sir.
I might say it an honor meeting you. Well, that's all right. You know,
I don't get up here very often, but I keep tabs on the situation through
Perkins. Right. And when I find a division that shows a 20% rise
in productivity over a period of six weeks time, I want to meet the
man who's responsible. Well, thank you, sir. We all
appreciate that. You managed to create a very, very splendid environment here.
Very livable, very personal. Well, I find it
very. I don't know, the people seem to like you.
Keep the crew happy and you can't go wrong, eh, Frank? Well, that's the idea,
sir. Bestie Zensworth is
interested in some of those other new programs of yours. Uh huh.
Like the. Like the job sharing program. Job sharing.
Bold concept. How's it working out? Well, I think very
well, sir. Well, Violet. I'm sorry,
Mister Tinsworthy, I'd like for you to meet Violet Newstead. She's my senior supervisor.
I'm very happy to meet you, Mister Tinsworth. How do you do? How do you
do? I've heard a lot of wonderful things about you, miss. Thank you.
Pretty much my right arm around here, as a matter of fact. Violet, why don't
you just explain to Mister Tinsworthy the job sharing situation?
Well, it's been most effective, Mister Tinsworthy. For instance, Maria Delgado
over there is a perfect example. She shares her job with another worker who takes
over in the afternoon. She does? I mean, she does. Both women
are very happy, and we couldn't have be more pleased with their performance.
So you pulled it off, Frank, huh? Well, I like to think we did,
anyway. Good. Like the daycare center. Daycare center?
Yes. You know, that reminds me during the war, I had charge of setting up
daycare centers in all the defense plants. Glad to see you brought it back.
That's the idea. Well, violent. The daycare center,
Mister Tinsworthy, would you like to see it? It's just down the hall. Well,
thank you. Thank you. I can see why Frank reposed of such trust in you.
Thank you, Violet.
Our daycare center has been open now for two weeks. It's been wonderfully successful.
Really? Yes, our working parents love it.
Oh, Mister Hart, it's so good to see you again. Who are you?
Don't you recognize me? No. Margaret Foster. The old
lush? Yes, that was me. But thanks to the company's alcoholics rehabilitation
program you started, those days are over.
And I'll never forget those wonderful letters of encouragement
you sent. God bless you, Mister Hart.
Good to see you. Doesn't she look great? Hold this.
When we transformed it, the cost was minimal. It's cut down on absenteeism,
and we had a wonderful time doing it. Well, Frank, I gotta give you
credit. You really pulled it off here. That equal
pay thing, though, that's. That's got to go. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, it's all right
as an incentive. But we don't need to keep on priming the pump. No,
sir, I don't think so. I've been, um. I've been talking to Hinkle over
here. Oh.
And, uh, you're my kind of guy, Frank.
Creative, incisive. Get the job done. Right, sir. Right now,
I want you to come and work with me. Excuse me? I need a
man like you, Frank. A brazilian operation is just about
to take off. Brazil, sir? You're gonna love
it down there. You get a handsome bonus. And you'll be doing a big favor
both to me and to the company. Well, yes, sir, but how can I move
to Brazil? Well, I'm talking about a leave of absence. Is that right,
Hinkle? Anything you say, Artie. All right, we go upstairs now, we work this whole
thing out. I want you and my team right away, Frank. Mister Dinsworth,
you know, I can't tell you how much I appreciate teamwork. Teamwork, that's what
it's all about. Go where you're most needed, when you're most needed.
Mister Tinsworthy. The jungle. Hell, man, I'm offering you the chance
of a lifetime. Two or three years down there and you'll never want to come
back. Two or three years? You love it down
there. Healthy climate. Mister Tinsworthy.
Art, you let me tell you one thing. I ain't the kind of boy who
takes no for an answer. Yes, sir.
Priscilla.
Did you see the look on his face? I swear I almost felt sorry
for him. We could. We actually pulled it off and we didn't panic.
Intense, worthy. Loved what we did. Yeah. Everything except that part about the
money. What are we gonna do about that? Hey, we've come this far,
haven't we? This is just the beginning. And here's to
the beginning. I'll drink to that. The beginning. Yay.
Is your heart. Holy marred.
All right, so that is the end of the movie. And they
roll credits. Cinema psyops 1010
years ten years. I love nine to five. It never gets
old. I could watch it. Like, I could watch it again tonight. Like, my wife
was sad that she didn't get to watch it. Cause I'm doing notes, and when
I have to pause it to do notes and things like that, it always irritates
her and she would rather just watch it. And I just flatly offered, like,
honey, if you want to watch it when you're getting ready to fall asleep at
night tonight and, you know, just, like, have it on in the background as
background noise to watch until you start getting sleepy, I will watch it again
with you. Because I. Seriously, I could watch it again right now after we've got
you done talking about it. Like, I watch it multiple
times a year. I sometimes watch it to be able to fall asleep at night.
Like, this movie is just like comfort food for my soul. I don't
know why. It just is. Probably because I. Well, I have a story time
is to tell probably. Why? Because it's another childhood exposure I've already
mentioned, but I'm going to kind of talk about it in my story time,
so. Yeah. What. What do you have to say about it? I mean, I've been
talking about it because I've been fanboying out. Yeah. No, I fucking love
nine to five. I remember that, watching that as a kid myself. Just like
you. I always got enamored by when Lily Tomlin did
the Snow white thing. That was just fucking always hilarious to
me, with all the birds and everything.
Lily Tomlin is a national treasure. As. As is,
you know, almost everybody in this movie is a national treasure.
So I always. Yeah, I enjoyed this movie.
Acting's great, you know, from everyone,
from the heroes to the villains. It's all fucking good.
Nothing. I have no, like, problems.
There's nothing, like, to be said about this movie, I don't think,
find any faults in it. It's one of those great movies that have stood the
test of time and. Yeah. And it still tells a very
relevant story to this day. Yeah. If anything, I need to add
to that. I would also say that anytime that Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin work
together, it's an absolute delight. And you will enjoy it if you enjoy nine to
five, just because they capture that same beauty of the two of
them working together and working off of each other so well. And,
I mean, Jane Fonda plays the perfect, like, either Downey innocent
or straight man to Lily Tomlin's, like,
eccentric, weird nature that she always ends up doing with
her characters. And the foil between the two of them is just
palpable every time. Yeah. Like, Grace and Frankie was always a delight
to watch for that very reason. It just really, truly was. Like,
I love that series because of those two. And then, you know, of course,
God saved Dolly Parton just because she's just the best.
Yeah. Other than working with artists, just for the sake of working with artists that
I don't agree with, um, I'll let everything else slide because it's st.
Dolly to me, too. Like, there's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She does so much with what
she has, even though she doesn't have to. And it's a hell of a lot
more than what I'm capable of doing. And I'm glad that she does it,
you know? Yep. Agreed. All right, let's move on,
and we'll do my fucking story time, and we'll get the out of here.
What do you think? All right, let's do it. All right, up next on the
pirate radio edit, we're going to have,
obviously, Dolly Parton singing nine to five, because it's a fucking theme song for
the movie. When we come back, we'll have my storytelling about this film.
Keep it down over there. We're trying to record. You've been really good lately.
Be nice to Igor. Don't you mean Igor?
No. Look at his face. Holy shit. What happened to his eyes?
Igor was a naughty little clone. He tried to rip out his eyes last week.
Jesus Christ. What, you made him watch more of the robots?
No, but he really hates night of the Lepus.
Well, who didn't? My wife hated that shit. But why would
it make eyegor tear on his own eyes? I used a concoction of
mind altering chemicals and a pseudo virtual reality simulation of Night
of the Lepus for about two complete viewing of the film.
Sweet chocolate rice. Yeah, it was quite effective,
but I will install cybernetic eyes with the help of my
genetically engineered rabbit. Oh, my God,
look at him. He's so adorable. Yeah, but seriously,
it's a meat eater, so don't.
All right. Actually, I'm gonna hit you folks up with a double dose.
I hate to break in on Dolly Parton's nine to five, and it's fucking brilliant,
but I gotta tell my story time so we can all get the fuck out
of here. So here it is. Here's mine next. Story time.
Story time.
Story time. So the double dose is because I
actually do have two stories that are equally kind of short to do as
one normal story time that we usually take up. So the first one,
obviously, how I saw nine to five as a kid, I remember watching this on
HBO as well, being super, super young.
Like, when sometimes you can't even tell the difference between what's on tv is
a real story or it's just a fictional story that you're watching.
Young. Yeah. You know, that's when this was on HBO for me. And I remember
watching it at least that young. Like, I'm talking, like, preschool young, watching it back
that far. And I think that it did actually
have a bit of an effect on me from watching it because they steal a
corpse. And I have very gallowsian humor from watching this film
a lot as a kid. And, you know, like, really young. Because it's. You know,
it was okay for me to watch Young. Nobody cared. And the
bondage thing with Daphne Coleman had me interested in, like, you know,
ladies tying me up. Yeah. No,
especially Dolly Parton. Yeah. Yeah. Or Jane Fonda or whatever you're into,
you know. Yeah. Wherever you're going. Yeah.
Well, I don't mention Lily Tomlin because I don't think she would be into me,
so it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Well, listen,
I don't think any three of them would be into me, so that's fair.
But they're at least into something that is vaguely like me, is what I'm getting.
Like, a better specimen of a man is what I'm getting at. Whereas I don't
think. Yeah. Anyway, so, yeah,
I did. I saw this, like, super, super young. I've been watching it, like,
a ton. I've been watching it my entire life. And the. It's one of this.
It's like what you mentioned where when I grew up watching it,
I got more of the things that were the joke in it
more, and I understood more of what was going on. But the important part of
the story that I need to talk about is I actually remember. Well, I wouldn't
want anyone to hate me as much as what Daphne Coleman
has hated in this movie need to not be like this prick,
right? Is, like, the lesson that I took from this as a child where I'm
like, this is not a man to be. And so I kind of remember
asking my mom at one point in time, I'm like, what does it mean when
they say he's the sexist? You know, I understand lying, but, like, he's sexist,
egotistical. I didn't understand when I was super young, so I wanted to know what
those words were. And then I knew lying, and I kind of knew hypocrite and
hypocritical, but I wanted. I had to make sure for that one. And I was
like. And I asked my mom what a big it was, right? And she,
being a good mother, sat me down and actually had a really long discussion
about what those words meant and what bigotry was and
was always really big about civil rights and equal rights and everything like that.
I mean, she grew up in the sixties. All the stuff she ever remembered from
being a kid in the sixties was, like, glamorizing the movement of the hippies
and the things that they tried to do for equal rights and all of that
kind of thing that happened in the sixties. And because she glamorized
that for me, it became, like, idealized a little bit when I
was younger. And so, yeah, it all points back to watching
nine to five as a kid. I'm nothing
wrong with that man. I'm somewhat of a better man who might be bondage
a little too much and loves gallows humor because of nine to five.
Yeah. All right, now let's. Now let's fast forward to the
next story time real quick. Too late.
Too late. The manager who's out to get you and the
manager who steals credit for your ideas and things like that. That was something that
I experienced a couple of jobs ago. And I like to tell the story
of the time that I fucked that manager over and used
the fact that they were stealing, stealing shit from me and my taking credit for
my ideas against them. So that's. That's this story
time. And it'll be super quick because this is basically how it ended up happening.
I got tired of it, and I lied about how
something could be designed and how it could be done because the supervisor
didn't understand coding and pretended like he did and was learning some
things but didn't understand some of these patterns. And I basically
said that something could be done with.
I think I said the pattern recursion. And it was basically like, it was
impossible, it couldn't happen. And it sounds like the stupidest thing ever if you actually
did it and unless you knew coding, it doesn't make sense. But I think I
use the word recursion because it was a nice big word that I think he
would fall for. For it. And if he's listening to this podcast ever, then I
guess he has me on this. But it was my fake idea
to prove that you were stealing my ideas, which it worked anyway.
Now you have to deal. Yeah. He presents this as an idea of, you know,
to like a big meeting and everything. And, you know, all the people are just
kind of like, yeah, going along with it or whatever that aren't really coders.
Cause they're fucking managers and they don't know any better anyway. And then he
writes up a document on the thing and like, you know, has all the requirements
and everything and uses, like, everything that I said that was bullshit and then
submits it, and then immediately all of my team
starts laughing at him. Yeah, for obvious reasons.
Like, right? Like, it's. It's obvious to anybody who's actually a coder, which is
who he was supposed to be in charge with the.net developers. And he
just totally wrote up this entire bunch of bullshit that is
clearly not even accurate and is relatively
ridiculous in its scope. And it got all the way up.
It became this whole entire thing. And then he had
no one to blame because if he tried to say it was my idea,
then I could obviously say, well, you've been stealing a lot of my ideas,
so therefore I did this. Yeah. And it's also like,
well, why'd you just take credit for it if it was cort's idea?
Right, exactly. You're busted.
Yeah, he can't say shit. Right? Right. So he had to just fucking eat crow.
And from that day forth, he tried to make my life absolutely miserable.
But, uh, he had just gone on vacation shortly after that. And then
I put in my two weeks notice and started a job there. I was working
from home, uh, that I ended up eventually losing. But, I mean, that's what happens
in tech whenever there's downsize. Yeah. But yes, I left. I put in my two
weeks notice after doing that. Um, so I basically
left the equivalent of an emotional upper decker in his toilet and
walked away.
So there you go. Take this job and shove it. Workers rights and
don't take credit for other people's shit. And make sure that everybody gets their just
desserts in the end. And that's what nine to five will teach you.
Take this job. Shove it. All right,
well, it's funny that you mentioned that because, you know, I did play it earlier,
and I just mentioned it, too, so there we go.
All right, let's fucking end this bullshit. I'm getting loopy. We're gonna play the show
housekeeping now. And on the pirate radio edit immediately following that, we're gonna have the
dropkick Murphy's, which could arguably be the most hard car
version of. Which side are you on? On the pirate radio edit, right after this.
Cygor's looking quite large. Yeah, I've been feeding
him a lot of proteins and various other things.
Hot pockets. Well, no, I didn't want him to get large like we're large.
I wanted them to develop normally. Good idea.
I had to kind of trick him into eating, though. Yeah. You notice there's no
other clones around, right?
Soylent grapes. Yeah, but it's not technically
made out of people because they're clones. Clones aren't people. That doesn't sound right.
But I don't know enough about clone laws to dispute it, so I'm gonna
go ahead and say you're right. Well, I know that corporations have been considered
people by former vice presidents, so. And clones are not so far.
Yeah, that's a weirdly placed political message in the middle of this conversation,
but let's go on. How are the robots doing? Oh, actually, why don't we step
into the other room and we'll take a look? Sweet.
I just see a bunch of Prince Belliott licking nazis. Well,
they're not nazis. They're just blonde. I told you I was inspired by war of
the robots, and I built robots. God actually
ruined the robot. No, they're still robots. No, but no one's gonna
be afraid of these robots. That's the point. No one will see them coming.
Oh, my God. You robot. No, no, they're still robots. I don't
want to be king of the world if this is like, the army
we have. You weren't gonna be king. At best, you would be queen. On,
like, a night when I'm really bored and lonely. Number one,
that's nice. Number two, these robots are terrible. They're robots.
They are not robots. You know what? I'm sick of this bun bun.
Get em. God, it's so fluffy.
No, no. Find him there. Get him, bug bugs.
I'm severely disappointed in you.
Scratch behind the ear, because once you hit that spot, it's overdeveloped.
Oh, I better come in. Now, otherwise, I'm gonna start smashing furniture.
Jesus. Oh, man, that gets me going.
I always love which side are you on, but their version of it really makes
me want to wreck shit, man. Right, let's have a meeting with management after
listening to that shit. Am I right? No. Shit. Now let's have
a meeting, mother. Absolutely. Well,
while you're out there fighting for your rights to live and survive
in a capitalist society that is trying to crush you and steal your labor,
kick the fuck out of them. And this week, and make it while
you enjoy beck with soul sucking jerk on the pirate radio edit.
Well, I was just covered in large bunny. I mean,
it's not the size of the bunny, it's how it covers you. You know,
I'm really disappointed in Bun Bun's abilities to actually be a good guard
bunny. Well, okay, number one, you made the same mistake they made
to leap us. You didn't make him scary enough, and you pet him once
behind the ear, and he's your best friend. Well, how did I know he would
have that weakness until now? I'm glad I tested him on you instead of somebody
that was actually dangerous. Okay, number one, that's just bad testing
on your part is. I mean, you should know your bunny's full abilities before
you even just let him out of the cage. Well, this is uncharted territory.
It's a giant mutant, carnivorous bunny. I don't know how carnivorous
he is. Uh, you should probably check your arm. Yeah, it's a flesh
moon. What flesh is left anyway?
No wonder. You know what? That's probably why you're so sedate, man. You look like
you're losing a lot of blood. I'm replacing it with Mountain Dew and rumenae.
Hey, what's up, dude? Hey, what's going on? All right, let's get this going for
nine to five. Recording in progress. Recording in progress.
I'm ready to roll if you are ready to go. All right, let's get her
done.
Somebody smoked too much during your episode? I think so. All right,
let's pull this together. Three, two, one.
Sadeena.
Well, while you're out there fighting for your rights to live and survive
in a capitalist society that is trying to crush you and steal your labor,
kick the fuck out of them. And this week and make it your bitch while
you enjoy back with soul sucking jerk on the pirate radio edit.
All right, you should know soul sucking jerk, it's from your generation.
Yeah, it's just like me, so.
Alright, let's go ahead and end this shit.
Recording stopped.