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Light a candle and find your inner goddess with us.
Co-hosts Danielle Schleese and Briana Donaldson want to break the taboo of women’s health and wellbeing. From intimacy to parenting, women are constantly shamed for their inability to measure up to standards they never had a say in setting. On Honey Toast, these subjects find their home among incense, deep-dive conversations, and two best friends. From journal challenges to goddess calls, Briana and Danielle are always finding new ways to help you embrace your natural beauty — inside and out.
Hey. Welcome back. It's Danielle and Brie here. And today, I'm very excited for this episode. I feel like it's a very personal episode to me, not only just because that's kind of been my area of expertise and studies, but also it's something that I go through as a woman.
Danielle Schleese:I think, actually, we all go through as women and girls, any age, really. There's no age limit to it. So I think it's gonna be a really relatable one. And if it's not, then you've done the work. So I think it just kind of we can just kind of roll into this episode and start framing it by saying, I think we've all been there.
Danielle Schleese:We've looked in the mirror and noticed something that wasn't there before, like a line that maybe appear or your eyes may be looking dull, and you kind of notice those things about your skin and your face that are changing, and we really fixate on the physical features of ourselves and kind of how that framework changes our approach to how we live, how we enjoy our experiences day to day. So I think we're gonna How we interact. Really
Briana Donaldson:Yeah. How we interact with ourselves and our own face. And our
Danielle Schleese:own face. So I think we're gonna Yeah. Really
Briana Donaldson:I think today is very much not about rejecting beauty or rejecting the beauty standards or, you know, having beauty things as a part of your life and your routine, but more so tuning back into the emotional space and creating a ritual for yourself so that it's a healing process and a nurturing process with yourself and not about trying to transform into something else.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. Not renovating our faces, but learning to live in our faces, if that makes sense.
Briana Donaldson:So
Danielle Schleese:let's jump in. How are you? Thank you. Good.
Briana Donaldson:Good. This is such an interesting topic because everybody has a face. Everybody has a face. Anyone that has looked at themselves in the mirror can relate to this to some degree or another. And I think that for women especially in today's day and age, we're so subjected and so inundated with the constant messaging of how can I improve, what can I change?
Briana Donaldson:And I think that It's the programming
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. That we're faced with. Like, it's it's a very subtle programming that happens, you know, from the And
Briana Donaldson:it's It's very much in our face, but because it's so normalized, we think it's subtle. But it's very in your face, like, all
Danielle Schleese:these commercials like, buy this $60 face cream and you'll look ten years younger. Everyone's like, oh, buy, click, buy, click, buy, because who doesn't wanna look ten years younger because that's what we're all trying to achieve. It's kind of like we were touching on in our previous episode with, like, health and wellness, how there's, like, this wellness trap and people want this immortality and kind of having the face to match that look and that vibe can also maybe in a way grant you that. But I think it goes beyond just feeling like this immortality because it's just a a physical feature of, like, a representation of that thing. It's also what's valued in society today, youth, beauty, the attention that you get from that, and it's almost like the matriarch type of woman.
Danielle Schleese:Like, the as the older we get, the less value we kind of hold In our society. In our society and having those features and signals like wrinkles, dark spots, age spots are a sign that you're devaluing in a way. Right. Right. And the way to sell something is to play upon our insecurities and play upon our fears.
Danielle Schleese:So insecurities is like a huge normalized thing to have and talk about. And think about how many, like, women we talk to in our life. It's just like a part of conversation like, oh, I look so fat. I feel so fat, or I look ugly today or so tired.
Briana Donaldson:These ring I gotta get rid of these wrinkles. I gotta rid get me this morning. I was like, oh, look at that dark spot. Yeah. I gotta deal with that.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. It's just a part
Briana Donaldson:of conversation and it's not it's it's actually very normal. Absolutely. And it starts from such a young age. Like, I have friends that have daughters who are nine and 10, and all they ask for for their birthdays and Christmas was skincare and makeup. I'm like, you're nine years old because they're watching YouTube videos of TikTok.
Briana Donaldson:TikTok.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. Get
Briana Donaldson:ready with reels, whatever of, yeah, these and this huge trend of, oh, come do my morning shed with me. Take off my mouth tape and my under eye patches and my chin strap and my eyebrow strap and my
Danielle Schleese:My eyebrow strap. And my hair
Briana Donaldson:roller and this and that. And it takes them ten minutes to shed this routine. And I'm like and then they shed, and I look at them. I'm like, how old? You you're 19 years old.
Danielle Schleese:Go back to when you were, like, when you were young, maybe not nine, but go to a specific point. Do you have a first memory of when you really internalized that beauty held value? I mean,
Briana Donaldson:beauty and the face, I feel like, are slightly two different things. Aren't they one and the same as well? Well, my overall beauty, I feel like I have more memories of that as opposed to just like my face specifically. I feel like my face itself and when I started to realize, you know, oh my gosh,
Danielle Schleese:I am getting wrinkles or I Oh, you mean like your body included? Like your overall My overall beauty
Briana Donaldson:and and that that was more, and like attractiveness or things like that. That was more, I feel, of a relevant a relevance in my life at a young age, but in terms of just the face itself and wanting to make modifications and use new products to try and improve it in some way really didn't become apparent to me until I was older. Like 26, 25, 26. Really? Yeah.
Briana Donaldson:Mean we always worked in, not always, but we worked in makeup for so long, so of course I analyzed my face, but I think I saw it from such a an objective standpoint as opposed to like, oh, I need to improve my face. Because I did makeup, I felt like I could be creative with my face when I did makeup. But it wasn't until I was like 25, 26 and I started to see wrinkles that weren't going away. And actually I had one friend who I still, I love her dearly, very blunt, very honest, basically came to me and was like, you need to start getting Botox. And I was like, oh, do I?
Briana Donaldson:I've never really paid attention to it.
Danielle Schleese:Remember when we were, like, 21, 22 going to, like, women's houses and teaching them about natural makeup? And we would like, I think your mom was a part of one of these parties because this is like one that stood out to me at my mom's house and we like made them close their eyes and do like a ten minute visualization about like picturing the parts of their body that they loved because we were like, let's change this industry and like, let's work with youth and young girls and and, I mean, when we're 21, like, you're older to them, but when you're working with women who are older than you
Briana Donaldson:In their fifties.
Danielle Schleese:They're not gonna really listen to you and we're like, you don't need Botox to feel beautiful. And they're like, shut the fuck up. Like, you're 21 years old. I'm not listening to you.
Briana Donaldson:You don't have a
Danielle Schleese:lot on your will never do that. You know?
Briana Donaldson:It's not so funny. Turns out we did.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. Well, we'll go there earlier later in a minute. But circling back to, like, when you first realized and noticed something to do with beauty at a young age and how you, like, weren't really into products, it's so interesting because for me, I had a very opposite experience. And I don't know what led me into that because when I was nine years old, this is, like, 1999. Maybe I was a little bit older,
Briana Donaldson:like Mhmm.
Danielle Schleese:Like, 2001. I was 11. I had such an affinity towards products. I remember I would, like, take all of my allowance money or all the money that I had, and I would do, like, a monthly or bimonthly Shoppers run, and I would get Clean and Clear. What's that deodorant?
Danielle Schleese:That lady speed stick? Oh my gosh.
Briana Donaldson:Is that it? Yeah. Was that it?
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. There was, this little white deodorant stick. And I remember because Jordan, at dance, she started wearing deodorant. I'm like, I have to wear deodorant. I don't even know if I smelled or not, but I was just like, I need to start doing these because you wanna grow up quick when you're young.
Briana Donaldson:You probably didn't. No.
Danielle Schleese:I probably did not have everybody for, like, another four or five years, but I was just like Yeah. This I could not wait to be older like a woman. And I remember also, was, like, really into ballroom dancing at 11. So the teachers there, the that I, like, admire and looked up to, they were, like, 16 and 21. Right.
Danielle Schleese:And I was like, oh my god. Like, they wear makeup and they pluck their eyebrows and they just look so beautiful. Yeah. And I was, like, in love with my dance teacher at the time legit. He was like Jonathan.
Danielle Schleese:Jonathan. Yeah. And he was, like, 17. So he's six years older than me, and I remember I was just like, I want him to love me. So naturally, I was just like, I wanna look like these older women.
Danielle Schleese:I would go home. I remember one time I plucked my eyebrows so much. They went to, like, the trend. Of the size. Yeah.
Danielle Schleese:And also just we got out of the nineties at that point. But I was just like, this will make him love me, and that's when I I think for me, was like a turning point when I really realized I held value in the way that I looked. Not that I got the response that I was wanting, like, would whisk me off and say, I wanna marry you at nine years old. Right? Yeah.
Danielle Schleese:But actually, now that I'm thinking about it going back even younger because I'm I always had, like, body hair. Mhmm. Leg hair was always so prominent. I even have memories as young as like five and six because I remember grade one, like my my pants at school were too short. So even when we were sitting in like circle reading time, the kids would look at it and I try to pull them down or pull my socks up and So self conscious at such a young age.
Danielle Schleese:Self conscious. And we also had a babysitter. His name was Robbie. Sam and I loved him, and he vividly remember would, like, grab my leg and pull my leg hair and, like, laugh. And it was traumatizing because I was like, oh my god.
Danielle Schleese:So embarrassed. Don't love me. Yeah. Like, these are vivid memories that are so ingrained as a young girl being like, okay. Body hair is not okay.
Danielle Schleese:Right. And then I used to bleach my body hair for, like, when the boys would come around, neighbors. They'd come every summer and they'd be like, oh, the guys are coming. I gotta hide my leg hair, so I'm gonna bleach it or use Nair or whatever. Yeah.
Danielle Schleese:I'm like, think about these chemical levels I'm using at nine years old, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. Wild. And that was, like, at one point in my life, my I read an old journal because I was, like, going through my old journals when I was nine. My biggest wish in the world, if I could wish for anything, it was to not have body hair.
Briana Donaldson:When you were nine.
Danielle Schleese:Nine. How sad is that?
Briana Donaldson:That is sad.
Danielle Schleese:I know. Yeah. So pretty much hairless now. Pretty much. Well, I mean, like I haven't touched my arm hair and I can't remember how many years ever, but that was such a focus and that was like my life in my world because when you're young, like your world is all, you know.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. Right? So it's just like when you say, when you see a toddler drop out ice cream and they're screaming and crying, stop crying, stop screaming, it's fine, it's okay, it's just ice cream. To them, it's their world. Right.
Danielle Schleese:That's everything in that moment, so.
Briana Donaldson:But you know, that's why it's so sad because we don't come into the world thinking that there's something wrong with us. We don't come into the world thinking that there's something distorted or that needs to be changed about our face. Right. This is something that we learn over time and we're conditioned to believe that there is something wrong and something constantly needs to be fixed, worked on, edited.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. So And it's also like looking at the influences in your life because social media is such a new thing. So I can see why it gets younger and younger, and it's like an epidemic these days. But even when I kind of look in my past, it's like, who are the women around you? You have your mother.
Danielle Schleese:I didn't have aunt Singh really Grandmother. Grandmother was, like, very big, and she was a lot older than most grandmothers, and she was other than, like, a lipstick. But even still, that counts because it's like you look at the influences in your direct circle, and then you have, like, the next step out of that, which is television, magazines. When you're at grocery stores, you see all these, like, Us Weekly, whatever, all about this person got fat. This is she's gaining weight.
Danielle Schleese:She's looking wrinkly, and you're like subconsciously picking up these subtitles and headlines. You're not maybe thinking about it all the time, but these are subliminal messages and programming that sort of shape the narrative of physical women Every are
Briana Donaldson:commercial is wild because, you know, everyone had cable TV growing up. And For the most part. Over the last Yeah. Right. And over the last ten years, it's really transitioned to, you know, shows on and movies on apps, on all these apps, Internet TV, streaming, whatever.
Briana Donaldson:And in the early days, it was just Netflix and there were no commercials. And I remember I didn't have a TV for eight years. I just there was just I just didn't have a TV.
Danielle Schleese:And I When, like, growing up? Or when the husband first came out? Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Danielle Schleese:Just Just watch on your laptop.
Briana Donaldson:Like, watch something on my laptop. Would watch Netflix. You know? And so I didn't see commercials for the longest time. When I started dating Josh, and he had cable TV because he loved watching sports, all the commercials, I was like, oh my gosh, this is insane.
Briana Donaldson:Like every single commercial is about either Losing being in The United States, a drug Yes. Or a product to change yourself. Mhmm. I'm like
Danielle Schleese:So true.
Briana Donaldson:Is wild. It was like this antiaging cream and then it was a Side effects for
Danielle Schleese:losing weight. Heart rate for Yeah.
Briana Donaldson:And then it was a commercial for, you know, some kind of body shake system And to lose then it was a pill for diabetes. And I'm like, oh my god. You're just inundated with we have a solution to your problem and you have to pay for it. That's all it was. It's just so wild.
Briana Donaldson:But, you know, I think that
Danielle Schleese:Well, that's how society profits from it. Right?
Briana Donaldson:Of course.
Danielle Schleese:It normalizes these things to the point where
Briana Donaldson:more insecurities. Yeah. It's a
Danielle Schleese:it's a normal way of speaking, like you're saying. But even now, we see these trends. Well, specifically, like me, because this is, like, the industry that and my algorithm, it's just, like, a glass skin trend, the clean girl trend, the mafia mob trend mom or the mafia wife trend. What's that? Where it's just like a type of Italian look makeup where you look like a a mob wife.
Danielle Schleese:Oh, funny. There's certain qualities and traits that you do. It's like it becomes very performative. Right? Because it's fun to do these trends and, like, try on different outfits and clothes and play with identity, and I think that that's where that fine line between, like, adornment with makeup and then also, like, concealment and performance can kind of cross over depending on.
Danielle Schleese:Right? So I really think that just kind of this key takeaway of this section of what we were just discussing is acknowledging that these insecurity type of things and programming is a very normalized things when it it shouldn't be. It should be really questioned and talked about a lot more. Yes. And, like, the fact that you said you're there's nine year olds out there who want skincare.
Danielle Schleese:Like, I see it too at we live, like, up at the lake in Muskoka. Like, they want Sephora gift cards. They want purses full of lip glosses and and Right. Skincare and toners. And that's you hear the Sephora daughters.
Briana Donaldson:I have a two year old and a four year old daughters. And as soon as they see me putting lip gloss on, mommy, mommy, can I please have some lip gloss? Now I get I think for them more so they love the feeling of it on their lips. They're like Yeah.
Danielle Schleese:Love saying. There's, like, an absorbent feature.
Briana Donaldson:A 100 times a day. But
Danielle Schleese:And they love the color pink, so why would they not wanna wear pink on their lips? Like, get that. I get that.
Briana Donaldson:That there is, like, a cuteness to it a little bit, but I definitely think that, you know, we have to step back sometimes and look inwards and and make sure that you're aware that you are buying into this manipulation.
Danielle Schleese:Well, I think that a lot more people these days are becoming a lot more aware. So they're falling into this clean girl, no makeup, natural self. Right? But there is still a very heavy performative section to those things because you still have to buy all these products to achieve this perfected look. Right.
Danielle Schleese:Which is like all the expensive natural skincare.
Briana Donaldson:Yeah. I mean, you go on TikTok, I mean, that's that's my algorithm, I feel. Yeah. And I'm scrolling and it's like every single every other page that I'm scrolling through is some type of skincare that they're selling me. Like, the hyaluronic acid tubes
Danielle Schleese:The retinol.
Briana Donaldson:And the Jove red light mask. I was
Danielle Schleese:gonna say Jove Fresh.
Briana Donaldson:No. And the, you know, it's like all these products that just constantly being like, oh, and you need this one to look younger.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. Wild. It it all kind of is concealed in a way that, like, you're doing less. Right. But you're
Briana Donaldson:actually your skin because you're not caking on the makeup.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. Like, let's instead of wearing so much foundation and concealing who you are because everybody's aware of the concept, I get Mhmm. Let's just perfect the skin so you don't need the makeup to conceal. But it's like, what is foundation? Foundation is to make your face a flat canvas.
Danielle Schleese:Then you have contour, blush, highlighter to bring out dimensions, to shape your face, change the way it highlights and picks up light and adds shadow. But, like, people are the the whole process and, like, concept of is that you don't need any of that because your skin already looks that way. But the reality is normal skin doesn't look that way. Right. But we're trying to be now this new programming I'm seeing in this kind of day and age is that that is normal skin that we're after
Briana Donaldson:Right.
Danielle Schleese:When really that is not how skin functions. Like, for instance, we were talking about age spots earlier, and actually had someone reach out to me earlier because she's like, oh, you know, I'm getting older. I had my age spots are starting to show, like, what sunscreen should I use or what would I do? What would you do? Mhmm.
Danielle Schleese:How do I conceal that? But an age spot is just your body literally healing itself from over sun exposure. And, I mean, even with the sun, there's there's so many layers to it. Right? Like, even with the sun, we wanna get tan because we think a tan and having color makes your skin look healthier and more beautiful and accepted, and there's cultures who wanna look whiter and
Briana Donaldson:Yeah. More
Danielle Schleese:But with if your body's overexposed to the sun and gets affected from that, it's going to repair, and it has the mechanisms to be and the cells know what they're doing. The intelligence is, like, beyond understanding of what it's doing. And what's happening is just a sign of your skin repairing itself and healing itself. Yep. And also, as we age and get older, it's going to have spots.
Danielle Schleese:It's going to have lines for movement. Like, you cannot avoid that Right. Even though we try to because why? Youth is revered in this society, and it's it's it's what is it called? It's like put on a pedestal.
Danielle Schleese:It's it's what it's sought after.
Briana Donaldson:It's the ultimate goal.
Danielle Schleese:It's the ultimate goal. It's
Briana Donaldson:But it's funny because I feel like even with this new trend of, like, the glass skin and less makeup, more natural looking, it's like you're trying to achieve this softer, more achievable look, but it's still so much work. And money. Still so much money, and it's still like a performance. You're like, oh, well, look at my skin
Danielle Schleese:like that.
Briana Donaldson:Healthy. Right. And listen. We're not we're not bashing anyone
Danielle Schleese:We're not bashing.
Briana Donaldson:No. They do because we do it. We do wear skincare. We do wear makeup.
Danielle Schleese:I think this is why we're talk like, we're wearing a full face of makeup now. This is why we're talking about it.
Briana Donaldson:Because it's just such a relevant topic, but I think that what's important is to be aware of it. Have the awareness. Be like, okay. I'm being sold something.
Danielle Schleese:Mhmm.
Briana Donaldson:And, you
Danielle Schleese:know And just question it. You know?
Briana Donaldson:Question it. And and, you know, find the few products that you like, but I think it's more about, like, paring down and then not just paring down, but the skincare and the makeup shouldn't be performance based. It should be a ritual. Mhmm. That should be the time that you have with yourself to nurture yourself.
Briana Donaldson:Like, I cannot tell you how much I love the nights when I find my second wind after the kids go to bed. I'm like, it's gonna be a facial night. And I just spend, like, an hour in the bathroom, like, taking care of my skin and taking care of my face and my hair and my scalp and everything, not because of how I wanna look the next day, but because I wanna treat myself and, like, give myself
Danielle Schleese:That's why we go get massages and facials because it's, your body's being touched. It's being loved. You're spending time in yourself Yes. Rather than on yourself. And that's, like, a very distinctive line too.
Danielle Schleese:Right? Because it's like, when can can you step back and notice the difference when you're doing something to spend time fixing, and that's why I said reconstructing yourself or renovating yourself, whether that be through procedures like Botox and fillers and stuff. And, like, hey. I totally get it because, like, I have I have had that. I've been in that mental trap.
Danielle Schleese:And then once you start, you can't stop because it gets addictive. It's like, maybe just a little on my lips, maybe just a little bit in my under eyes. And then you really focus on what we were saying actually earlier too. It's like, oh, I do this because I have such bad eyebags. It makes me feel tired because I look so tired.
Danielle Schleese:So I feel tired. Or my skin, I have to exfoliate it because it gets so dry and so cakey. But maybe instead of just doing, like, a topical quick treatment because their skin's always producing new layers, that's an invitation to look inwards. Like, perhaps you're not absorbing vitamin a or vitamin c properly. Perhaps there's nothing something methylating not properly on the cellular level.
Danielle Schleese:Maybe you need to hydrate yourself more. Maybe add some more minerals and salts. Like, it's a really connected
Briana Donaldson:Yeah.
Danielle Schleese:Realm. And I think that
Briana Donaldson:And your skin is gonna speak to you. Your skin tells you what your body needs as oppose and and I mean, on an internal level, you were saying, not like, oh, my skin is telling me that I need to, like, change my foundation. I think it's more like, oh, my skin is telling me that I'm not hydrated enough Yeah. Or or I'm lacking in some In
Danielle Schleese:certain some kind of vitamin or mineral. Like, everything comes down to the cellular level and makeup, and I think that's that's where the beauty industry is, like, such a scam too in skincare industry as well. I mean, they're both go hand in hand in terms of selling us things that we don't Need. Need. Right.
Danielle Schleese:So if it's like you're buying a vitamin C serum, I mean, you can put it on your skin, but it it just, like, it goes into your bloodstream, but it's not at the level and effect where it's gonna produce changes as if it were to if you were just to ingest more vitamin C or, like Right. Up. And then how does vitamin C convert in your body not to get, like, too scientific as well? It's like maybe you need to take a component of vitamin A or, like Right. Glutathione and all those types of things that can help produce the proper things.
Danielle Schleese:And it's understanding the body is a part of the process of life. Like, we're always working to understand like, we talked about our identity, who we are rather than these roles, and then our our bodies, how to live in a cohesion with how it is. And we know when we feel our best. We know when we look our best. And makeup, there's so much history and cultural relevance when it comes to makeup and, like, you know, even with deities and and ancient with, like, ritual Yeah.
Danielle Schleese:And expressing to goddesses or tributes and things
Briana Donaldson:like that. Face makeup and face painting has always been a very, you know, ritual based Mhmm. Thing in
Danielle Schleese:the past. In the past. Yeah. Where now it's just like a
Briana Donaldson:very cultural norm. And, I mean, it's wild. I see I see these videos of these phenomenal makeup artists. Phenomenal. Like, I give them so much kudos, but they are literally changing their face.
Briana Donaldson:It is wild. I'm like, you are not the same person. Like, when you take all that makeup off, you actually look like a completely different person. Feels like character based almost. Yeah.
Briana Donaldson:And it's like, you know, the and I think that this is a big transition that I've had since becoming a mom is that makeup became something to make me feel fresh and enhance my natural features as opposed to, like, totally creating, like, look on my face, if that makes sense.
Danielle Schleese:Well, I definitely think that happens with age too because as You don't have the time. That's for sure. And as we know, our skin changes tremendously. So it's like you cannot wear and that's the problem we what I experienced and what we experienced most when we were doing like a group lessons and sessions with when we did face at the beginning was a lot of women were stuck in these routines that they have been doing their whole life. And as their age or as their face changed with age, they found that the same foundations, the same techniques weren't working for them because their skin was settling different.
Danielle Schleese:The lines were, you know, So they wanted to learn upgraded techniques of how to work with their changing skin and all all those things aligned with it.
Briana Donaldson:And that's why I think it goes back to, like, self care is honoring yourself. Self care is is finding those rituals and those moments to do truly nurturing things for yourself as opposed to looking at it as
Danielle Schleese:an something you're doing to obtain an outward Reaction. Reaction or attention. Well, even, like, with brides specifically, the number one thing you would hear is, I wanna look like myself. Mhmm. Like an upgraded version of myself.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. Because you want your husband to recognize you, first of
Briana Donaldson:all Of course.
Danielle Schleese:Down the aisle and and it's daylight. Like, lot of people want to
Briana Donaldson:Some of those brides that would come to me with a picture of JLo, and they were like, I wanna look like that.
Danielle Schleese:Oh, yeah. That that was the season, though. That was the JLo glow.
Briana Donaldson:You have blonde hair and blue eyes. But also, like fair skin. You are not I can do that makeup on you, but you are not gonna look like that. But, also, if you
Danielle Schleese:look at Middle Eastern cultures too, like, weddings are known to have, like, full face of makeup. Glam. But look at, like, the fits that they wear too. You know? That's also part of the cultural direction of Mhmm.
Danielle Schleese:That's just how it's been done too. So it's just such a fascinating I love this topic so much. It's such a fascinating topic. I can talk about it forever, literally. I feel like one day we should talk about, though, faced and how we started our first business and what we did with that because it's all interconnected to exactly Where we are now.
Danielle Schleese:Where we are now and this topic specifically, like makeup and our connection to it Yeah. And our bodies.
Briana Donaldson:But it's just wild how we have been programmed to believe that we need to make modifications to our face. Yeah. We have been programmed to believe that we need to renovate our looks. Mhmm. And wanting to make changes to your appearance for yourself and your inner work is totally great and do it from a place of love and try to have awareness around maybe not doing it so much from a place of wanting to get that reaction and attention and doing it as a performance, but really doing it as an internal self act of self love.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. And even though, I mean, I feel like that's easier said than done because a lot of people and most women would be like, I wear makeup for me. Yeah. That's the most common answer is I wear makeup for me because honestly, that was my answer for a long time too. And in a way, I do wear makeup for me because, you know, the you can't fucking lie.
Danielle Schleese:Like, you look in the mirror and you're like, I look hot. I love the way I feel. This makes me look good. I look hot. You know what I mean?
Danielle Schleese:Those times where you look, your makeup looks so good. You're like, don't wanna take this off, and then you, like, go back, and then you're, like, wearing a messy bun and a fizzy sweater, you just, you've take on the character that you're playing. Yep. Yep. So it's just so interesting because I really feel like there is such an emphasis in culture on the visual changes, the immediate visual
Briana Donaldson:Yeah.
Danielle Schleese:Results that you get from having certain procedures or incorporating certain products into your routines and rituals versus, like, what you were saying, how you did the self care at night for yourself just because it feels good. Mhmm. So doing things and rituals such as, like, skin tracing so you can, like, really embody and get into your body instead of, like, looking at yourself in the mirror, which actually just triggered another thought of me for me when you were talking earlier, like how in human history So crazy. We were never met.
Briana Donaldson:I I saw I don't I don't remember if it was a study that was done or or how the information was relayed. I can't remember. But I saw this post talking about, and it made so much sense, that as humans, we're not actually meant to see our reflection as much as we do because nature was created to where the only place we would ever see our reflection is in a body of water. And so for us to have mirrors and reflective surfaces surrounding us Or cameras, like phones. Cameras, the selfies.
Briana Donaldson:I mean, you walk past the store downtown and it's all glassy. You're checking yourself out. Like, it's your instinct to, like, check, see what you look like, assess the situation. Mhmm. Every time you walk past a mirror, like, it's it's natural now.
Briana Donaldson:It's in our it's it's our response, but we are not designed to see our reflection that much and to analyze our appearance that much.
Danielle Schleese:Well, that's what happens. Right? When you see your reflection that's much, that's exactly what we do is we analyze our appearance and we start to pick ourselves apart. Yeah. And I am I'm so guilty for that too.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. Like, I'm not saying I'm I'm evolved and you should this is what I want to teach you. I'm saying that this is something that I am doing and I go through and I want to talk about these things because I don't want to be afraid to age and I'm aging.
Briana Donaldson:Yeah.
Danielle Schleese:I don't want to be afraid or feel insecure in my own self and my own body because of these changes that are coming. And how can we reframe these ways of thinking
Briana Donaldson:Mhmm.
Danielle Schleese:And inspire younger generations to look forward to that rather than, like, avoid it so much Mhmm. And see that as, like, a distaste Right. In a in a representation of a woman. So I feel like mirror work, even though now you we're not gonna avoid it. We have mirrors.
Danielle Schleese:We have phones. We have cameras. The approach to how we use the mirror, that's, like, a really great exercise. I have yet to still embody, but, like, I catch myself. It's hard.
Danielle Schleese:You have to really catch yourself in the ways you can do that by putting, like, sticky notes on your mirror or reminders on your phone. But, like, when you're in front of the mirror, your natural instinct is to analyze and pick yourself apart versus looking yourself dead in the eye and giving yourself so much love Yeah. And and saying what you do love about yourself.
Briana Donaldson:Like Have you
Danielle Schleese:tried it? I have tried it. Yeah. It's incredible. Helps, but,
Briana Donaldson:like incredible.
Danielle Schleese:When you have a drink, though, you get extra lovey.
Briana Donaldson:Have a margarita. Give yourself some love in the mirror.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. It's it's like magic. Margaritas and mirrors. Oh my gosh. Should that be your retreat?
Briana Donaldson:That should be our new yeah. That should be our new Monday. Margarita.
Danielle Schleese:Monday margarita mirror night mirror. But yeah. I've tried it. It's difficult. And a lot like we were saying before, it's kind of like this fake it till you make it kind of vibe.
Danielle Schleese:Yep. But eventually, your brain will start to reprogram and condition itself and believe you when you're saying it rather than just saying it as a as an empty affirmation. Yeah. If that makes sense.
Briana Donaldson:Words carry power. Right? Words are energy. Yep. And so whether you believe it in that moment or not, the more you say it, the more you do it, your body's listening, and you will respond to it.
Briana Donaldson:The cells in your body are constantly listening and changing.
Danielle Schleese:Yes. There I've done it more because actually one of the influencers I follow, she, like, released this self love kind of ritual PDF when you, like, sign up for a website and stuff, and one of the sections in it is mirror work. Mhmm. And, obviously, after reading them, like, I gotta try it. But I've been a lot more conscious of it since doing that because it helps to have, like, that supportive reminder and community of others that you follow and, like, choose to see in their work and incorporate.
Danielle Schleese:And there has been times, especially since becoming a mom, where I've, like, genuinely connected to myself where I cry. Yeah. Like, you're releasing and you're healing Yeah. Parts of yourself where you you were so hard on the way you look. Like, amount of this is a totally different side, but I guess it's connected to beauty, but, like, the amount of eating disorders that are normalized that women go through and young young girls, especially Yeah.
Danielle Schleese:Like, I, myself, you, yourself, we both have been in that young mindset of being in a deep eating disorder Yep. Where that is your whole focus Yep. All the time. Just trying to control. Yeah.
Danielle Schleese:And that's that's kind of like where it can come from is a stem of control. Yep. Right? You're controlling what you go what you eat or what you don't eat, what goes in your body, and how you look, therefore. And and I get it.
Danielle Schleese:Like, we get it because when I first started to really be into that eating disorder, I was validated a lot by men. Thin you are. Yeah. Like, how beautiful you look. Like, you're you look great.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. And that amount of attention I had never received before. Right. So it was validating, and I didn't see the harm in it because you're young. You think you're invincible.
Danielle Schleese:You're never gonna die. Nothing's ever gonna happen to you. You're healthy. You're partying. You're having fun.
Danielle Schleese:You're with your friends. Like, it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. But, I mean, like, now I'm suffering for like, from, like, autoimmune issues, which I definitely was triggered from, like, the gut problems. And, like, I'm still dealing with psoriasis today, which is just kind of like an offshoot of it.
Danielle Schleese:So I do believe every young girl and woman has to follow their own path and go on their own trail because if I had someone, like, older than me, another woman looking down at me and being like, oh, you shouldn't do that, and you should be grateful, you should love your body. And I'll be like, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Like, you're old, whatever.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah. Yeah.
Briana Donaldson:Well, you
Danielle Schleese:know what I mean? Like, not directly, but kind of just like, what do you know? But it's just like, oh, they were my age once too. So it's instead of like telling, it's almost like inspiring and kind of just shifting the lessons.
Briana Donaldson:Reframing the way we interact with ourselves. It's okay to aspire and wanna be partake in beauty, the beauty industry to some degree, but it's just reframing the way you interact with it Mhmm. With yourself.
Danielle Schleese:Yeah.
Briana Donaldson:Think And I that's we're, like Danielle said, I we're not experts at this. We have not perfected this. I think it's something that we aspire to constantly work at and be better at because we have come a long way from where we were when we were younger, and we see such how impactful it's been for those changes in both of us and to see where we are now and how much we love ourselves and how we have worked really hard at reframing our relationship with ourselves and our beauty and our image and our face. You know, it's it's changed a lot. And so to have come as far as we have and to know that there's even still more ahead of us, I think, is a really incredible thing, and we hope that we can go along the journey with anyone else that wants to be involved.
Briana Donaldson:But all in all, we hope that, you know, we have planted some seeds for anyone out there that loves and loves themselves and loves skincare and makeup and believes in, you know, reframing the performance based aspect to more of a ritual based aspect, and we're here to
Danielle Schleese:go along with for the journey with you. Yeah. I would just say this week, really focus on catching yourself and seeing if you do have those feelings of insecurity and have those moments. And that's a huge step right there because, like Brie said, we're not here to tell you don't play makeup. Don't do beauty.
Danielle Schleese:Like, we we get it. We love it. We're in it. Just ask yourself the question why, go deeper into catching those thoughts and those insecurities, and also reach out to us on our on our Instagram. We would love to hear from you.
Danielle Schleese:We're very active on there at the honey toast podcast. Also, we
Briana Donaldson:are on Love talking about this topic.
Danielle Schleese:So Yeah. We do. We Let us know, like, what your thoughts are on this episode. We'd love to hear your interaction and kind of your thoughts about all the things that we said today. And we are on all major listening platforms, Apple and Spotify, and this is a visual podcast.
Danielle Schleese:So come hang out with us and check out our makeup, but don't judge. Actually, you can judge me, but Alright. Thanks so much. Everyone. See you next week.