Whys & Finds

A gift sticks when it fits what a toddler already does every day, like packing and unpacking, and when a person is part of its story.

Show Notes

What makes a gift memorable for a toddler?

A gift is memorable when it fits into something the child already does every day, and when a person they love is part of its story. A toddler who packs and unpacks everything will keep coming back to a gift that lets them do just that.

ZERO TO THREE, a U.S. nonprofit that works on early childhood, says: "We all know the feeling of buying a toy a child plays with for two days and never touches again." It also says that "toddlers love to take apart, put back, pull out, put in, add on, and build," and that "the most useful toys are those that require the most action on the part of a young child."

Ellie and Ben talk about why shopping from a picture and an age label often misses, and the two questions to ask the parents first: what do they do every day, and what do they love right now. They look at how a small backpack with a removable plush animal works for a toddler who packs everything. Ben's better point: a toddler may not remember who gave what, so give the gift with a person in the story. In ZERO TO THREE's words: "Your presence is the present."

Sources:

Whys & Finds is made by Naturally KIDS.
This episode uses AI-generated voices for both hosts.

What is Whys & Finds?

The whys parents and gift-givers ask about little kids, and the finds that actually get used. On Whys & Finds, two hosts, Ellie and Ben, take one question per episode, answer it up front, and are honest about when something else would suit a child better. Both hosts are AI-generated voices. Made by Naturally KIDS.

Ben: You picked it, wrapped it, shipped it. They tore off the paper, smiled for the video call, and went back to playing with the box. A week later, nobody can find the gift. Sound familiar?

Ellie: Welcome to Whys & Finds. I'm Ellie.

Ben: And I'm Ben.

Ellie: Today: what makes a gift memorable for a toddler?

Ellie: It comes down to two things. First, the gift fits into something they already do every day. Second, there's a person in its story. The gift they use on an ordinary morning, and connect with someone they love, is the one that sticks.

Ben: Every day. That's a high bar for a present.

Ellie: It is. But here's why it matters. ZERO TO THREE is a U.S. nonprofit that works on early childhood. On its page of tips for choosing toys for toddlers, it says: "We all know the feeling of buying a toy a child plays with for two days and never touches again."

Ben: Two days. That's generous for some gifts I've seen.

Ellie: So the question is what makes the difference. Why one gift gets two days, and another one comes out again and again.

Ben: Okay. So what does a toddler actually do with things?

Ellie: The same page has a list. "Toddlers love to take apart, put back, pull out, put in, add on, and build."

Ben: That's every kitchen drawer in a house with a toddler. Every pot out. Every lid in the wrong pot.

Ellie: That's the one. Out, in, out again. They aren't making a mess on purpose. They're doing the thing they like doing most right now.

Ben: So a gift that lets them do that has a longer life.

Ellie: That's how I read it. And the page sums it up in one line: "In short, the most useful toys are those that require the most action on the part of a young child."

Ben: Let me push back a little. Some of the toys that light up and sing get played with plenty. They laugh every time.

Ellie: They might. Laughing at a toy and playing with it aren't the same thing, though. If they sit and watch, the toy is doing the work. If they stack it, fill it, take it apart, they're doing the work. ZERO TO THREE's line is about the second kind.

Ben: Fair. I'll give you that one.

Ben: Here's the real problem, though. Say you're the grandparent. You see them a few times a year. You shop from a picture and the age on the box.

Ellie: That's where a lot of gifts miss. A picture doesn't show you how they'll use it. So I'd ask their parents two questions before you buy. What do they do every day? And what do they love right now?

Ben: Say the answer is, they pack things. Their snack, a rock from the park, three crayons, one sock.

Ellie: Then you have your gift idea. They're already packing. Give them something of their own to pack.

Ben: A bag.

Ellie: A bag that's their size, and that they can open and close themselves. If they need a grown-up for every zipper, it turns into the grown-up's job.

Ellie: Here's one way to do it. Naturally KIDS makes a small backpack with a removable plush animal on the front. Inside, there's room for a snack and a treasure.

Ben: And the zipper? You just said that's where it turns into the grown-up's job.

Ellie: Padded, adjustable straps and an easy zipper small hands open on their own. And the plush? They can take it out for a hug and put it back.

Ben: What animals are we talking about?

Ellie: There's a T-Rex, a triceratops and a unicorn, and other animals too.

Ben: Okay. So they open the Naturally KIDS backpack themselves, and the plush rides along on the front. Will it hold up? Because they will test it.

Ellie: You can machine wash the backpack in cold water on a gentle cycle.

Ben: Good. And for whoever's shipping it?

Ellie: It arrives gift-ready in a kraft box.

Ben: Can I disagree with one thing, though? You said a gift they use every day is the one that sticks. Used, sure. But remembered? A two-year-old won't remember who gave them what.

Ellie: Go on.

Ben: The parents remember. And they remember what you did together. So I'd give it with something attached. Be there when they open it, or be on the video call. Pack the first treasure in it together. Then every time they pack it, somebody says, "That's from Grandpa."

Ellie: You're right. I put two things together that aren't the same. Used every day is one thing. Remembered needs a person in it. ZERO TO THREE has a holiday page on toys for the first three years, and it ends on your point. "Your presence is the present."

Ben: I'll hold you to that.

Ellie: Do. The same page says, "The holidays are a time to build traditions and make memories."

Ben: So the tradition could be the first thing that goes in the bag.

Ellie: It could. A little book you read together on every visit. It lives in the bag, and it comes out when you're there.

Ellie: Now, a few different situations. If they're into a different animal, start with their animal. The same small backpack comes with a dog, a giraffe or a teddy bear.

Ben: And if they'd rather build than carry?

Ellie: Then blocks. ZERO TO THREE gives the example of wooden blocks they can use "to make a road, zoo, bridge, or spaceship." That's a lot of games from one gift.

Ben: And if they're not one for carrying things at all? They just want to run.

Ellie: Then pick a gift you play with together. A ball for the park, and you're the one who kicks it back. The person is part of that gift from day one.

Ben: So you start from what they do, not from what's on the shelf.

Ellie: That's it.

Ben: Okay, let me see if I've got it. One: ZERO TO THREE says we all know the feeling of a toy a child plays with for two days and never touches again. Two: toddlers love to take apart, put back, pull out and put in. The same page says the most useful toys need the most action from the child. Three: before you buy, ask the parents what they do every day and what they love right now. Four: for a toddler who packs everything, a bag their size that they can open and close themselves fits what they already do. And five: give it with a person in the story. In ZERO TO THREE's words, your presence is the present.

Ellie: You've got it.

Ellie: That's it for today. A reminder: the voices in this episode are AI-generated. Whys & Finds is made by Naturally KIDS.

Ellie: That's today's why. See you at the next find.