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Kamini Wood works with high achievers on letting go of stress, overwhelm and anxiety that comes with trying to do everything, and trying to do it all perfectly
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Rise Up - From Surviving to Thriving
00:00:01 - Announcer
Rise Up Live Joy Your Way From Emotional Intelligence through Cognitive distortions Certified life and wellness coach Kamini Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit. Through these small bites of self visualization and self confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live. Rise up, Live joy your way.
Kamini (00:01.432) Hi there, welcome back to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening. Thank you for taking some time to spend with me. So I wanna ask a question. Have you ever caught yourself asking, why am I so tired when I'm doing everything right? Or I'm succeeding, but I don't really feel fulfilled. Well, this is what this episode is about. I wanna talk about this idea, well, there's an idea of thriving. versus surviving. Like a lot of times we are trying to always survive, but we're not really thriving. So I wanna unpack the difference between these two because at the end of the day, we weren't born just to function, we were born to flourish. We were born to do the things that we really want to do. But along the way, so many of us get stuck or have gotten stuck in survival mode. And to be fair, a lot of us get rewarded for staying there, especially for high achievers. I happen to know this fairly well. I've definitely spent a large part of my life stuck in that survival mode instead of stepping into thriving. So what is survival mode actually? Let's break that down. Survival mode isn't just about fight or flight or big life emergencies. Yes, that is survival. However, it's also about emotional contraction. It's the quiet, chronic stress of being on high alert all the time. You might be in survival mode if you say yes when you mean no to avoid conflict. Or maybe you feel guilty for resting even when your entire body and being is begging for it. Or maybe you hyperfixate on your to-do list, but you feel disconnected from your own joy or purpose or meaning. Or maybe you don't feel safe being your full self in your relationships or your work environment. It doesn't always look like chaos. can look like perfectionism. It can look like over-functioning or being the go-to for everyone else. That's being in survival mode. It's sneaky. Survival mode gets normalized. But when we're in that space, it is absolutely exhausting. And when we're in that space consistently, it disconnects you from yourself. So why is thriving, you know, we... Kamini (02:24.002) There's so often, I think we get caught up in buzzwords and thriving has, I think, gotten this bad rep for just being a buzzword and it's not just a buzzword. It's, you know, I know that thriving has been plastered across Pinterest boards and all sorts of places, but when I'm talking about thriving, I'm really talking about really being rooted in emotional and psychological safety. and being in a way that you're connected with your capital S self that you can have that authentic expression. It's when you are connected to your values, you feel like your life has meaning, not just a task list. You're grounded in your truth, even when things around you feel uncertain. You experience joy without feeling guilty. You experience moments of happiness without feeling guilty. It's not about doing more, it's about living in alignment with your own self. And many of us are taught to focus on the outer layers of success and that being achievement, productivity, approval, but the foundation there when we have when everything is so externally focused, it's not as strong as it can be. And so it's really important to pay attention to your needs, not as this ladder to climb, but your needs as your basis, the foundation, the root system. And thriving requires three foundational roots. First of all, it does require safety. And when I say safety, I'm not just talking about physical safety, I'm talking about emotional and psychological safety. So knowing that it's okay and it's safe to be seen. The second is belonging, not the kind where you fit in by hiding who you are, but actually where you get to be. your true self and you get to not fear that people are going to reject you if you're actually you. And then the third is self-expression, the freedom to speak and to create and to live into alignment with those core values, not just what others are expecting of you. And that is really the key. Those three key elements are what we need in order to really get to this place of thriving. Kamini (04:32.214) So many high functioning people are silently suffering because they're healing in these environments that still reward their trauma responses. You cannot heal in an environment that keeps hustling you for your worth, right? Or it's really difficult. So like if you're in a workplace or in relationships or your family or in our dialogue is constantly demands that you prove your value. You're going to stay locked in that performance based mode. You're going to stay locked in that survival mode. And that performance mode is not the same as a purpose mode. Right. And so as a coach, I work with high achievers every, every week who are burning out, not because they're lazy or disorganized, but because they have never known what it feels like to just be, you know, they don't, they don't really have that experience of not having an agenda or not proving. and just being, there's always this I have to be doing. So generally, you know, I'll push them and say, you know, where in your life are you over functioning? Where in your life are you over functioning to create a sense of safety or to feel that worthiness? Where are you equating your productivity with your identity, with your worth? And when was the last time that you let yourself actually just be or to just feel joy that wasn't attached to an an accomplishment or achievement. So the first step to thriving, right? What is this first step that we can talk about? Thriving doesn't begin with hustle. It begins with permission, right? So it's not about hustling for being able. We're not going to thrive by hustling even more, but instead it's permission. Permission to pause, permission to reflect, permission to disrupt the pattern. We need to start asking ourselves, what have I been doing that has gotten me to here? Kamini (06:34.402) but in recognizing that that pattern may not be the thing that's gonna serve us best to get me where I want to go. Right, so instead of shaming yourself or judging yourself, it's about getting curious with it and asking questions like, what does thriving for me look like? What would it feel like to actually design a life that aligns with my values or with my truth? Maybe it means for you, starting with setting boundaries. Maybe it means leaving rooms or environments where you recognize that the energy there does not match yours. Maybe it means finding support through working with your family, your friends, community, maybe finding a coach that helps you practicing how to reconnect with your own inner compass instead of constantly seeking external validation. Thriving isn't about perfection. It's about being present and being engaged with your here and now. And when you do return to yourself, that's when you begin to rise and that's when you begin to shift from surviving to thriving. If you'd like to talk about coaching and how it can support you, feel free to book a time with me anytime at coachwithcomedy.com. And until next time, stay well.
Thank you for listening to Rise Up. Live Joy Your Way. For more information, book a chat with Kamini at www.chatwithKamini.com or visit her website at www.KaminiWood.com You can also find Kamini on Facebook or Instagram username itsauthenticme. Thank you for listening.