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You know that sinking feeling when you wake up with a hangover and think: “I’m never doing this again”? We’ve all been there. But what happens when you follow through? Sonia Kahlon and Kathleen Killen can tell you, because they did it! They went from sisters-in-law, to Sisters in Sobriety.
In this podcast, Sonia and Kathleen invite you into their world, as they navigate the ups and downs of sobriety, explore stories of personal growth and share their journey of wellness and recovery.
Get ready for some real, honest conversations about sobriety, addiction, and everything in between. Episodes will cover topics such as: reaching emotional sobriety, how to make the decision to get sober, adopting a more mindful lifestyle, socializing without alcohol, and much more.
Whether you’re sober-curious, seeking inspiration and self-care through sobriety, or embracing the alcohol-free lifestyle already… Tune in for a weekly dose of vulnerability, mutual support and much needed comic relief. Together, let’s celebrate the transformative power of sisterhood in substance recovery!
Kathleen Killen is a registered psychotherapist (qualifying) and certified coach based in Ontario, Canada. Her practice is centered on relational therapy and she specializes in couples and working with individuals who are navigating their personal relationships.
Having been through many life transitions herself, Kathleen has made it her mission to help others find the support and communication they need in their closest relationships. To find out more about Kathleen’s work, check out her website.
Sonia Kahlon is a recovery coach and former addict. She grappled with high-functioning alcohol use disorder throughout her life, before getting sober in 2016.
Over the last five years, she has appeared on successful sobriety platforms, such as the Story Exchange, the Sobriety Diaries podcast and the Sober Curator, to tell her story of empowerment and addiction recovery, discuss health and midlife sobriety, and share how she is thriving without alcohol.
Your sobriety success story starts today, with Kathleen and Sonia. Just press play!
[00:00:00] Sonia: Welcome to Sisters in Sobriety. September is [00:01:00] Suicide Prevention Month and I wanted to share a story about my own struggles and in my case, how a combination of prescribed medication and quitting drinking made all of the difference. I don't know if I would be alive today without those things. So here's my story.
[00:01:17] Sonia: It's funny how from the outside, everything can look picture perfect. I had it all. Or so it seemed. I had a great marriage to an incredibly smart, handsome, faithful man that I felt lucky to have, two absurdly adorable dogs, and a house that screamed, you've made it, and was renovated within an inch of its life exactly how I wanted.
[00:01:44] Sonia: And my career was even better. It was more successful than anything my wildest dreams could have come up with. I had a business that wasn't just thriving. It was exploding. It was so busy. I couldn't keep up with it. I was hiring people almost [00:02:00] daily to handle the volume. And I considered this to be a huge success.
[00:02:03] Sonia: And I was so grateful for it. Who is going to complain about having too much business. And yet, despite all of this, or maybe in some ways because of it, I just didn't want to wake up the next day. So let's rewind. My drinking was at an all time high. And so was my stress. I thought I was just one of those high functioning, overachievers who deserved that glass of wine, maybe bottle of wine at the end of the day.
[00:02:32] Sonia: And I thought I am. The boss, I work hard, I play hard, but honestly, it was like clocking out of one shift. Only to clock into my drinking shift, and it was the only way I knew how to unwind and make that transition between work and home. But somewhere between the first glass and the last glass, my head would start spinning.
[00:02:58] Sonia: I'd wake up in [00:03:00] the middle of the night, my heart pounding, my breath shallow, and convinced that I was seconds away from some sort of catastrophe. It was a panic attack, and sometimes it would be some far fetched scenario that I would be turning over obsessively in my mind, and sometimes it would just be this generalized feeling of dread.
[00:03:20] Sonia: Either way, I could never fall back asleep, so naturally, I'd get my laptop and start working at 3am, because that's what normal, well adjusted people do, right? They work through their terror. And looking back, this habit didn't come out of nowhere. When I told my now ex husband about my persistent anxiety, he said, I think you just need to work more.
[00:03:43] Sonia: You're overwhelmed by all you have to do. So just do it. Luckily, I only had to put up with this shitty advice for the 18 years we were together. So let's just say it took a lot for me to unlearn that and to learn instead to be kind and compassionate towards [00:04:00] myself. Anyway, physically, I felt like garbage.
[00:04:03] Sonia: I had chronic hangovers as my default setting. They were always there to some extent, and the only time I felt normal was somewhere between my first and second drink. And emotionally, I was the definition of a hot mess. I was depressed, with a side of, I don't want to be here anymore, and panic attacks were just the cherry on top of this.
[00:04:27] Sonia: existential crisis Sunday. I lived like this for eight months, eight long months until finally I sought help. medication for the suicidal ideation and depression and things started to shift. I wasn't You know, doing cartwheels through the park or anything, but I was at least getting through the day and the panic attacks had subsided.
[00:04:53] Sonia: I was sleeping better, but my body still felt like it had been hit by a truck repeatedly from the [00:05:00] drinking. And with a clearer mind, I knew I had a problem. But I stumbled along like that for about two years because alcohol is addictive and just knowing you have a problem doesn't mean you will or you can do anything about it.
[00:05:16] Sonia: So after months of bargaining, excuses, attempts to moderate, and finally planning, I quit drinking. Wow, it was like someone finally opened the curtains and let the sun in. sure. I knew alcohol was a depressant and that I was taking a Prescribed antidepressant.
[00:05:39] Sonia: I wasn't completely ignorant, but I had no idea just how much it was sabotaging my mood My body and my entire existence and the early days of sobriety were rough for sure. I mean, I had anxiety and not the cute kind that makes you like double check if you left the stove on or the iron plugged [00:06:00] in. No, this was the like, I'm going to sob in my car because I can't use alcohol as a sledgehammer to knock myself out anymore type of anxiety.
[00:06:09] Sonia: But I learned. That alcohol cravings don't last forever. It turns out they rarely last more than 20 minutes. And after those 20 weepy white knuckle minutes, I would pick myself up, find a friend to call, go for a walk, snuggle up with dogs, or sometimes just get some ice cream and turn on Netflix. And so that dopamine hit I was seeking from alcohol, I started getting it from life again.
[00:06:37] Sonia: So small gentle doses that actually built me up instead of tearing me apart over time, my depression and anxiety improved. I'm not saying I don't have bad days. I do, but now it's like I'm living in color instead of black and white. The difference is enormous. And for the first time in a [00:07:00] long time. I'm really glad I woke up today.