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Your Second Act isn't just about starting over; it's about starting smarter. You’ve left the safety of a structured career to follow your passion, and while the opportunity is exciting, the uncertainty is real. You have the vision and the drive, but without a roadmap, that leap of faith can quickly feel like a freefall.
Welcome to Second Act Business Owner, the podcast dedicated to ensuring your new venture lands on solid ground.
Hosted by Lee Gray—an award-winning ActionCOACH, certified executive trainer, and serial entrepreneur—this show is for the courageous professionals who are trading corporate stability for entrepreneurial freedom. Lee understands that being an expert in your field doesn’t automatically make you an expert in running a business.
Each week, we strip away the fluff to provide the real-world MBA training you need to turn chaos into clarity. From navigating the emotional rollercoaster of ownership to mastering the mechanics of profit, Lee brings the structure and strategy required to build a legacy.
Hit follow and let’s get to work.
Ep16
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[00:00:00]
Lee Gray: Well, hello there. Welcome to the Second Act Business Owner podcast. I am your host, Lee Gray, and I am so, so, so happy to have you here. We're going to be talking about something, you're gonna love this.~ I, I-~ all I can say is you are going to love this. And before I start though, I wanna ask you a question.
Are you above or below the point? Ha, you don't know how to answer that. [00:01:00] After today's session, you will know how to answer, "Am I above or below the point?" And you will be able to use this tool called above or below the point with your team and with other people. It is a fantastic way to come together and agree on where we are and what we need to do to be better.
So let's get started.
BED vs OAR
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Lee Gray: First thing is, I'm holding up, , an image, and it has a little battery, a powerless battery below and a powerful battery above, and below it has three words. Below this yellow point it has three words: blame, excuse, denial.
And above that point it has three words: ownership, accountability, and responsibility. And for those of you that are watching me on YouTube, you can see that this is an acronym for BED, below the point. I like to say lying in your bed and whining about it, or OAR, [00:02:00] above the point, having an OAR or ownership of your life.
So I'm going to talk about above and below the point, how to recognize where we are above or below the point, and then how to coach people, including ourselves, to be better in our second act, better in our lives, better, better, better. here's the concept.
Blame - Late Arrival
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Lee Gray: A person walks into the room, and they are late And the first thing that comes out of their mouth is, "Well, if the stupid city wouldn't spend so much time fixing potholes when I'm trying to get to work, then I wouldn't be late."
So if you think about that scenario that was just given to you, is that person making an excuse? Are they blaming someone, or are they in denial that it's even their own problem? So in my opinion, this person is [00:03:00] actually blaming. They're blaming the city. They're not even making an excuse that they were late, they're blaming the city that they're late.
So in this scenario, if the person that you're speaking with ~h- ~understands the concept of below and above the point, that below the point is blame, excuse, denial, above the point is ownership, accountability, and responsibility, you could say to that person, "I understand that you're late. Are you above or below the point?"
They may want to start with an excuse, but the fact is they said they were late because of the city. The city made them late. Wasn't their fault, they're blaming someone else. "Okay, got it, got it, got it. I appreciate that. You have said that you want to blame.
Taking Responsibility
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Lee Gray: What do we need to do to get above the point?" So above the point, remember, is ownership, accountability, and responsibility.
So how could this person who came late [00:04:00] and wants to blame the city, how can we get them to agree or consider moving above the point? The question would be then, how can you take responsibility for these results the next time you travel to work? How do you take responsibility for that? Do you get up and leave 10 minutes early?
That's one way to take responsibility. That's one way to get above the point.
Above the Point Sales Mindset
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Lee Gray: Another example might be a person saying, "You know what? I did not meet my sales quota in 2025. So this year, for 2026, I am doubling the number of sales calls I make. I am doubling the number of business books that I read, and my results have already improved."
Now, you know that person is above the point, right? They're taking responsibility, they're being accountable to their actions. They're [00:05:00] actually accountable to themselves, improving. They doubled the number of sales calls they were gonna make. The ownership is that I take ownership in this activity and this responsibility in my sales career.
I'm taking ownership of the income that I make, what I provide for my family. That is true ownership The reason I love above or below the point as a concept is that it's so simple for people, and it's non-threatening.
Using the Tool with Others
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Lee Gray: Now, I wouldn't recommend using it with a spouse early on. "Honey, you're below the point."
Perhaps you would wanna save that for later after you've had some time to practice with this. But most people, when you say to them, "Okay, are you above or below the point?" They know instantly. They know instantly I'm above the point or I'm below the point. "Okay, let's get above the point. What do we need to do?
What do we need to do to take ownership, accountability, and responsibility?" The thing that I love about the three [00:06:00] examples on above the point is, you know, ownership means it's yours. And if you think about it, we have to own what happens in our business, ~what own...~ We have to own what happens in our second act.
We have to own what happens to our body. ~I-~
Denial and Empathy
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Lee Gray: I've had people in such denial that they're sick, their body is sick, and they don't even realize it. That's, like, the lowest level of all of the three things above and below the point. Denial is the lowest level of being below the point. It's not even believing that you have any responsibility.
Can't even blame anybody or make an excuse. You deny that it even happens or it exists. I don't see denial very often. Sometimes. Sometimes, though. And you may have a relative or someone you work with who is continuously below the point, and ~this is a...~ This concept ~is,~ is helpful. If you think about knowing, gosh, they're in denial, what's going on in their life that's, that could [00:07:00] be causing that?
It may help you have some empathy I recommend sharing the concept with people.
Workplace and Team Applications
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Lee Gray: I love having the, the, having the card. So I'm holding up this beautiful laminated card again, and people can post it. I give these away when we do training, and I will see these posted around the, the office and even on production lines.
So I work with some production companies, manufacturing companies, and I will see this sign posted in the work area or in the break room. Imagine in a production facility when someone is late or the machine is down or whatever, and you use this concept. Okay, ~w-~ the work is at a standstill. Are we above or below the point as a business, as a company, as a team, as a shift?
You can look, "Okay, we're all above the point because everyone's here. We're trying to do what we can. Now we need to take responsibility, go to engineering, bring someone down to, to have a look at this machine." [00:08:00] That's kinda how that whole process works.
Take Ownership Daily
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Lee Gray: But wherever you are on the Point of Power, there's always room for improvement, and I recommend looking for ownership.
How can I take ownership in my thoughts, in my words, and in my actions? Because everything we do shows up either below or above the point.
Next Steps
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Lee Gray: Thank you so much for taking time to listen to this concept today. I hope you'll use it. I hope you will look at above and below the point and think about where you show up and how you can help others show up.
Whatever you do, take action. What I feel like expressing today is above and below the point, it's just six words, ownership, accountable, accountability, responsibility, blame, excuse, denial. So, so powerful. And when we have tools and when we are able to recognize and when we know how to take action, [00:09:00] then we can, and that's what I feel like expressing.
And don't forget, if you wanna know where you are in your second act, we have an assessment that you can take. Only takes a few minutes. You'll get back a summary of your responses, and then if you want to, we can have a talk about your second act.