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What do you do when the bottom drops out and life breaks in ways you never imagined? Charlie and Jill LeBlanc have walked that road, and through their personal story of loss, they’ve discovered the sustaining power of God's presence. In this podcast, they offer heartfelt conversations, Scripture-based encouragement, and the kind of hope that only comes from experience. Whether you're grieving, struggling, or searching for peace in the middle of chaos, this space is for you.
Hi. My name is Charlie LeBlanc.
Jill LeBlanc:And I'm Jill LeBlanc. And we are so blessed that you have joined us here today. We have a lot to share. The Lord has brought us through some really tragic times in our lives and given us hope again. He has helped us find hope.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And we wanna help you find hope again. We want to help you be able to get through what you never asked for.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right. Amen. You know, pain is something that everyone experiences in life. And so often, we don't really know what to do with that pain, and we don't know how to find help to get through the pain. And with our loss, and Jill will tell you a little bit about that in a moment, but we reached out to others and people helped us, and we wanted to be that for you.
Charlie LeBlanc:We wanted to be someone that we could you could turn to and say help, and that we would have words of comfort, words of ministry to you that would help you get through your difficult time. That's our heart in this thing.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. That's right. Yeah. So we wrote a book called When Loss Comes Close to Home, and it's a two part book. The first half is for those who are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
Jill LeBlanc:And just we share things that we learned along the way that were so helpful that God imparted to our hearts. And then in the second half of the book, it's for those walking beside the ones going on that journey and just to help you to be a better supporter. We wanted to tell you, some people that got ahold of our book are our friends John and Connie Tesh. And John Tesh, I remember him from years ago. He was one of the hosts of Entertainment Tonight, and I just thought he was kinda cute.
Jill LeBlanc:And then I saw that he was this virtuoso piano player. I remember one of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parades. He was on a float playing this massive grand while singing and I thought, wow. You know, I was so enamored.
Charlie LeBlanc:So I didn't realize that my wife had a crush on John Tesh until now.
Jill LeBlanc:It wasn't really a crush. Anyway, they they we met them through the years and they loved our book and wanted to get the message out. Yeah. So he invited us to come and do an interview.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:So we wanna share some of that interview with you today and he asked some pretty hard questions, things that we weren't necessarily expecting, but it's very raw and candid, and, we're just gonna share the first part of it today, and our future episodes will share more of it.
Charlie LeBlanc:And we hope you enjoy this interview with John Tesh, and we'll be back right after the interview to share a few more things with you.
John Tesh:Hey. It's John Tesh. And coming up, you're going to have a unique opportunity to learn powerful strategies that you and I can use to fight back against the debilitating effects of loss and the grief and the heartbreak that always go along with it. It could be losing a job, the loss of a pet, a divorce, or the unimaginable, the loss of a child. Charlie and Jill LeBlanc could never have imagined nor were they prepared to have their 23 year old son Bo taken from them by cancer.
John Tesh:Their story of descending into hell, fighting back and ultimately emerging victorious with a unique mission and purpose to help others has been truly inspiring to me and my wife Connie. Hey guys, it's great to see you.
Charlie LeBlanc:Hi John.
Jill LeBlanc:Hi John.
Charlie LeBlanc:Thank you so much.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah, thanks.
John Tesh:I wanna get started here and wanna take you back to the the day before you lost your dear son. What was life like twenty four hours before you lost him?
Jill LeBlanc:Our house was full of people. We had, um, Beau had just come out of the hospital and basically given, you know, there's nothing else we can do for you. So he wanted to go back home, and and people got word and just started filling our home. They just started coming, And we had a piano down there in the room where Bo was. We had a downstairs family room.
Jill LeBlanc:And so we just had worship going on worship and prayer going on all day. And, in the evenings, it would even get bigger, and friends were just there bringing food and just just it it the support group was incredible.
Charlie LeBlanc:It was amazing. People would drop in and and, you know, obviously wanna come and pray for him as well. So, you know, we hear a knock on our door, someone would come down with a guitar and sing over him and, and worship and, like Jill said, and and then prophesy over him as well. So, yeah, it was interesting. And then that night
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. That night, our both of our daughters had come in town, and those two of his cousins and two very close friends came in. And so they were going to stay with Beau down in the basement that night while we got to go to our own bed together for the first time in several nights.
Jill LeBlanc:And so later I mean, an hour after we went to bed, one of our daughters came knocked on the door and said, Beau's throwing up. And so we both just raced downstairs, and he had actually aspirated on, you know, the throwing up, and and he was just gone that fast. Yeah. But we tried our best. You know?
Jill LeBlanc:And, you know, prayer, I mean, just went from here to you know, everyone's just praying and shouting his name, and and we're doing CPR. We're just doing whatever we can. And and, you know, Charlie's trying to call him back into his body, and all of a sudden, you know, it just it just became very chaotic there for a little bit. And then after the after a few minutes, it just kind of we just kind of entered into a mode of just worshiping and praying and just expecting for Beau to come back into his body, into body that he would be to breathe again because cancer had filled both lungs.
Jill LeBlanc:So he couldn't breathe anymore, and, that's why it was so easy to aspirate. So, we just so, you know, it morphed from all that beautiful worship and house filled with people. And, you know, as it got later into the night, you know, the house emptied out except for the six that I mentioned. And so it went from all this beautiful, glorious, heavenly presence of God and, yeah, to this you know?
Charlie LeBlanc:Nothingness.
Jill LeBlanc:Even you know, our son was was ill. He became diagnosed nine months earlier, and we watched the decline. There were a few high moments, but then it you know, we'd have more bad news, and it just kinda was a roller coaster. And then it but it was, like, you know, a roller coaster that kinda kept declining with some high spots and and then more low spots along the way. And so, you know, to to most people I mean, we could see that our son was declining, but we were just believing God that he was not gonna We we just stood on so many scriptures that that, you know, that Jesus provided our healing on the cross and with his stripes, we were healed.
Jill LeBlanc:And so it just all of a sudden, things changed really fast. So it was kind of like a sudden death to us, but even though it it had been a nine month sudden death, if you know what I mean.
John Tesh:Right. And and I think people probably have have figured it out, but you guys have been have been pastors basically your whole life. Not only not only pastors but but worship music, worship pastors as as well. And so the the outpouring of love from your community must have been I mean, did I hear that that a thousand people showed up for Beau's funeral?
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes. Yes. It was packed. And we had a lot we you know, we're from we had lived. We'd got married, met him, got married in Saint Louis, and and so we've been there a long time.
Charlie LeBlanc:We had lots of friends. And being in ministry, as as you know, and being an entertainer, you know, you are exposed to a lot of people. And so we just made a lot of great friends through the years. So, yeah, it was a lot of love, a lot of support, and the funeral was packed. And that was very, very helpful and and very comforting.
Charlie LeBlanc:I know I don't wanna get into the meat of the of the subject too quickly, but, but, you know, people say, well, I don't go to funerals. You know? Or I didn't know him or whatever. Or, you know, I just don't do funerals. You know?
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, listen...
John Tesh:Yeah. How many years ago was this?
Charlie LeBlanc:Fifteen. It's been fifteen now.
John Tesh:Yeah. Yeah. And and so not long ago, you decided to write this this book, When Loss Comes Close to Home, which both Connie and I, my wife and I found fascinating because I even said this, I lost my whole family to cigarette smoking.
Charlie LeBlanc:Wow.
John Tesh:Been through a cancer battle and all of that. I said do I really, I mean these are remarkable people, but do I really wanna read about what they went through? Which sounds harsh, but you know what I'm talking about. What I love about this book is that it's the kind of it's the kind of book that anybody can use. I mean, it's a road what you've done here is you've you've taken your experience and hey, we can talk about this, but this losing a child, I would say breaks up the majority of or at least a large portion of partners, of couples. And instead, and I'm sure this is because of your faith, but instead you flipped it around and turned it into really a Swiss pardon the, you know, the bad analogy, but the a Swiss army knife for for dealing with with with grief.
John Tesh:So, you know, one of the first questions I wanna ask you is why write a book like this knowing that it would bring up an enormous amounts of pain. But when did you make the decision that you were gonna go because you have to you gotta write, you wrote it together, you did the audiobook together. When did you make the decision that you were going to be able to to do this without without crumbling?
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, you know, we've obviously, after Beau passed, we went through a lot of turmoil. But at some point, remembered I thought I really need to be journaling. Something inside of me said, I need to write this down. I need to remember. I want, I wanna be able to communicate what this feels like or at least remember it for me personally because those those beginning months of days and months, I mean, it was dreadful.
Charlie LeBlanc:And so we just started writing, both of us journaling and writing, and then it was, I don't know, how many years later that we just said you know, we sort of think, can we wanna help others. You know, scripture says to to comfort others with the same comfort you've received. So as the Lord began to touch us and heal us and help us move forward, then we felt a responsibility then to try to help others because we had run into several people that were very stuck in their grief and in their sorrow and they could not get out. And we understand that because we were right there, we were right there on that edge as well.
John Tesh:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:But at the same time, we did see God help us get through that and start to win in our pain. And so as we started to feel better and see that God's grace and help and comfort were really healing our broken hearts, we felt a responsibility then to say, from the platform that God has given us, we need to share this. We need to try to help others.
John Tesh:Yeah. And we're gonna talk about in a moment here, we're going to talk about the other side of this, which is, and we've actually talked about this on our radio show before, which is how do you talk to your friends, your family members who have suffered loss? And as I mentioned at the top of this video, it could be any grief can come from many different places.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
John Tesh:And sometimes it's simple, sometimes it's more complicated.
John Tesh:So we're going to talk about that. I wanna talk about your relationship because, know, Connie and I, my wife and I have had these conversations before, my gosh, we lost our grandkid, you know, what would or a child, our our son and daughter, you know, what would we what would we do? And I just I wonder how you two got along after this this happened. You know, how were you able and did you process it differently?
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes. I looked at Jill because I wanna see if she wants to answer, but I will say this, that at our home, the day that Beau passed, a lot of people came over again to minister to us, to love on us, to comfort us. And there was a pastor there that pulled me aside and he said, Charlie, he said, I don't know if you're aware, but he said and I was not aware, he said, but a lot of couples that lose children really struggle and a lot of them don't make it in their marriage. And and I'd never heard that before. Of course, we didn't know anything about loss of a child.
Charlie LeBlanc:And he says, so I just wanted to give you that so that you can guard your marriage, you can you can fight for your marriage in the midst of this grieving time you may go through. So that that just helped us.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know? And and so from that point on, we started to say, okay. We talked. We said, we need to protect our marriage because we know this is gonna be hard. Because when I'm hurting, I want someone to help me and my wife is hurting, she can't help me because she's hurting and vice versa.
Charlie LeBlanc:And so it was a very complex situation, but we determined from the start that we were gonna support each other and that we were gonna let each other grieve the way that that that we needed to grieve and and that we would support each other and be patient with each other. That was a really big important thing. And communicate. And, again, we don't have degrees on marriage counseling or anything like that. We didn't know what we were doing, but by the grace of God, we just started saying, okay, we're gonna be patient with each other.
Charlie LeBlanc:So I told Jill, I said, If I'm grieving and hurting one day, I'm gonna just tell you in advance so that if I bite at you or don't or answer you harshly, you'll realize that it's not anything against you, but I'm just having a tough day. You know? So we both we kinda went into that mode, which really helped us a lot. And there's a lot more we could say about that, things that ministered to her, didn't minister to me, and vice versa. So we you know, grief is very unique and it what the process you go through, the pain you go through is individual and and different things will help me that didn't help Jill.
Charlie LeBlanc:There were certain songs that helped me that didn't help Jill. There were certain pictures of Beau that really blessed her that I didn't wanna see because it hurt me more to look at a picture of my son. But it really blessed her. So I had to respect that, and I had to say, okay. This is helping her.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know, out of self interest, I could have said, put that away. That's hurting me. You know? But the Lord helped us to say to each other, if this is helping you, that's fine. I'm just gonna back off a little bit and let you get ministered to.
Charlie LeBlanc:And she did the same with me. So that that was a real important, thing that helped us in our going through it. Yeah.
John Tesh:Was guilt ever a factor in this? I can't imagine how it would be. I mean, you guys are such amazing parents.
Charlie LeBlanc:Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It definitely was, John. You know, so many things to consider about guilt. You know, me being the head of the house, the father, I should have had the faith to raise my son.
Charlie LeBlanc:I should have to raise him from the dead, to keep him healthy. I should have had the faith to rebuke this thing. Oh, gosh. You would the the guilt, the the condemnation, the pointing of the finger from the enemy at me. I mean, I wanted to just bury myself.
Charlie LeBlanc:I mean, I really wanted to just, you know, go underneath a bridge in Downtown Saint Louis and just drink the rest of my life away. But so, yeah, guilt and and condemnation and then, you know, did we make the right choices? Maybe we should have gone to this doctor or that doctor or maybe we should have fasted more and prayed more. Maybe if I would have just, you know, isolated myself and didn't do anything for those nine months but prayed, didn't eat for nine whatever. You know?
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. There's just all these you know, scripturally, I don't wanna sound too religious, but fiery darts that come out at you. The Bible says to cast down imaginations and anything that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. And so at some point, we had to start doing that. It wasn't easy, but we knew that the enemy was not a he took our son, but he he he was he was also trying to destroy us, trying to destroy our marriage, trying to destroy our ministry, and and, you know, and we just refused to let him.
Charlie LeBlanc:We just said, no. We're not gonna let him do that. So that's kinda...
John Tesh:Yeah. And I'm struck by the thought that I've mostly had when I've known people who have who have lost a child, young child, adult child is people always think about the parents. Yeah. But when you had other kids, what what effect did this have on them?
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. Yeah. Beau was the youngest of three and had two older sisters. So they were five years apart. And so he he would the oldest is five years older than him, and then the next one is three and a half years older than him.
Jill LeBlanc:So two sisters, and they were all very close, very close knit. And especially the oldest one, I mean, they were like two peas in a pod and talked almost every day on the phone and best friends. And then, you know, the other sister, the the middle child, you know, she had become really close with Beau during his illness because she had moved home from Australia. So she became they became really close during that time. So even to this day, they you know, they're they're really wounded, and it's it's hard on us to see that. You know?
Jill LeBlanc:And, you know, we all have just you know, we all share this same wound together, but, you know, our path's a little different than their paths on, you know, the how we've just walked. So it's been very hard on them.
Charlie LeBlanc:Very hard.
Jill LeBlanc:You know, they're doing their best to survive, and they have some good friends that they can share with and and and just open up to but we but we we are still very close, and we can talk and, you know, share things with people.
Charlie LeBlanc:The blessing is that we do live close to them, and they both have two little boys apiece, which we so we have four grandsons, which has been a real blessing. And so it's kept our family, very close. Like I said, we live, like, ten minutes from each of them. And so, yeah, that's been very healthy.
Charlie LeBlanc:But, yeah, it broke their heart. I mean, I don't wanna get too graphic here, but the moment that Beau passed and I had to just say, okay, guys, you know, we're just releasing him to the Lord. We can't you know, because we prayed for quite a while for the Lord to raise him raise him up. So but once I've made the decision that we, you know, we couldn't go anymore, the wailing, the screaming, the crying was beyond belief. You know, the scripture says that that when the two year olds were getting slaughtered, that Rachel cried out for her children and and would refuse to be comforted.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know, it's like the scream of that. I can't imagine the mothers in that moment that saw their two year olds getting, you know, murdered right in front of them. But that kind of pain was was the same at least in in a lot of ways to what we experienced at that moment. And so our daughters, they they're doing well. They have their children.
Charlie LeBlanc:They have their families. They they have to press on. But you know? And we do get together on on the anniversaries of his passing as well as his birthday. We get together with with our children, and we just go out to dinner and we'll share things and maybe look at pictures and just love on each other, just be there for each other. You know?
Charlie LeBlanc:Just being there is so important, and we talk a lot about that in the book as well about the power of just being present, not only us as a family, but in so many other ways, being present to help people in their times of need.
John Tesh:And now you two have have have taken the next step and and written this book When Loss Comes Close to Home. And so I wonder, when did what would Beau think of you writing this book? Maybe that'll give me more of an idea of his personality.
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, he'd be rooting us. He'd be rooting us on. I mean, Beau was very charismatic, great musician, very bold, confident young man at at twenty three. I mean, you know, he grew up in the boy band era, and he was a Justin Timberlake look alike.
Charlie LeBlanc:And he had the diamond earrings and the whole bit and curly hair. And he just didn't have a shy bone in him. So I know for a fact that, you know, he's excited that we wrote this and he's rooting us on to help more people because we know where he is and we know the the joy that he's experiencing. And I've had moments where I've really seen that very, very clearly. And, yeah, we know that he's he's very excited that what we're doing right now is really, writing this book and now moving into this kind of ministry, it is because obviously, it's because of him, obviously, but it's in some ways just giving life to him in a way because it's we're taking the pain that we've experienced, and we're using it to help others.
Charlie LeBlanc:And, you know, pain that's not being used for anything, you just, it's wasted. But if you've had a heartache or you've had a pain and and you're getting healed from that, you need to use that to help somebody else. And so I know that Beau's rejoicing over that. I believe that at least.
John Tesh:So I first met you two, Connie and I first met you two at an Andrew Womack conference, Christian conference, a teaching conference. And it was when I was, I had first started fighting cancer. And so I met you from from an audience, right, looking to the stage, and you were you were singing and leading worship songs. And all of a sudden, I'm in this world that you've created where it just feels like I'm being lifted off of the planet with the the love of God.
John Tesh:I wonder how is it? Because you're you're standing there and you're playing guitar and your wife is is playing keyboards and you're both singing and you're looking at crowds of a thousand, 2,000, 10 thousand people all over the world. Are you able to see grief more clearly now based on your experience with your son?
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, yeah. I mean, we're able to, we've experienced it deeply, of course, so we understand it. And our compassion for others has has grown so so tremendously for those who have been through difficult times in their life. But in the worship aspect, you know, fully aware, and I knew this even before we lost Beau, that whenever you're singing or or in front of any large crowd, even though they may be screaming and having a great time, you know that there's a lot of hurting people out there. And there I remember, when we were leading worship for Joyce Meyer that had a great worship service.
Charlie LeBlanc:And at one point, she came out and she had something on her heart that there were some hurting people in here. She was very specific what was hurting. And the she opened up the altar, and it was filled with people that had that particular difficulty in their life. And I was shocked, you know, because I thought, wow. And so we've become more aware that even though and and thank God we can bring people into worship and and into the presence of God, but we also know there's a lot of hurting people out there.
Charlie LeBlanc:So, it's a beautiful thing to know that you can bring comfort through worship and through through connecting with the Holy Spirit in worship that it can go out and touch and help people that are even grieving. And we're having people come to us now that know our story and they're saying, just to see you up there worshiping the Lord is helping me. You know? And so one of the things that we we we got a whole well, actually, Jill got a little glimpse of is that when we do worship Jesus, it is the one thing we can still do with Beau because we know he's in the presence of God worshiping. And that's a little mystical, but really he is.
Charlie LeBlanc:And at the same time, when we worship the Lord, we're doing, we're spending time along with our son as well.
John Tesh:And, you know, you know, Jill, Charlie mentioned that at one point, he thought, oh, I'm just going to, paraphrasing here, drink myself to death under a bridge somewhere. Did you did you have a moment like that as the mother of of of this child?
Jill LeBlanc:I never I never thought that in particular, but I was very angry for several weeks and or, you know, a few months. I mean, pain I mean, pained beyond description for several months. But really to that place, I was more angry in that I just kinda kept it in, and I just I don't know. I didn't see because I was never really a drinker, and so I didn't see that as any kind of a remedy myself. And I guess I just didn't think that far ahead, but there were times that the pain the searing pain in my heart was just was just so intense that I I just didn't know if I could live through it because it it just hurt so much.
Jill LeBlanc:And I specifically remember one day, I was at at the sink, I was just, you know, rinsing some dishes or something. And I just I just the pain was just so intense. And I just said, God, please, please help me. And it was probably one of the first times I really asked for his help because I was mad at him. Because, you know, I know that he didn't he didn't take Beau.
Jill LeBlanc:I mean, he didn't kill him. He didn't put this cancer on him. But, you know, you you start thinking, you know, that because he is God Almighty, you know, one of the things we said to him was you could have shown us how were we we were always asking, Lord, show us, you know, get show us wisdom on on how to, you know, manage this when he was still with us. You know? Show us what we need to do different or or show us how to pray if we're not praying right or, you know, all this.
Jill LeBlanc:And, you know, we felt like He let us down because we were asking for wisdom, and we felt like we didn't get it. But so I was just mad at at that. You know? It's like, god, you could have shown us. You could have told us, you know, what we could have changed to see different results or whatever.
Jill LeBlanc:Anyway, for the first time, I cried out and asked for his help because the pain was just so intense in my heart. I thought I thought my physical heart was going to explode. And and it, you know, it's that particular day, the pain lessens lessened, and I was able to, you know, finish that day out alive. But, yeah, I didn't really have the same path as him. It was just different.
Jill LeBlanc:It was, I just was operating in autopilot for a long time. Even when we would get up, and lead worship for hundreds or a thousand people, I was just in autopilot. I couldn't engage with my heart. I was just up there playing and singing and would try to smile. I saw some pictures that a photographer had taken at at a conference back around that time, and, oh my gosh, I looked so sad in all of these pictures.
Jill LeBlanc:I'm just up there and didn't realize. But, you know, it should I was just trying to take one day at a time and try to stay alive for that day.
John Tesh:Yeah. I understand.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. That was a heavy time in our lives, but thank God he brought us to where we are today, and we want to help you get through what you never asked for. So please stick with us.
Jill LeBlanc:Hit the subscribe button. Hit the notification button so you'll never miss episode, and share it with your friends. We're wanting to get the word out so that other people can be helped by these episodes.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes. And finally, thank you so much for joining us, and we pray that we can continue to be a a help to you and minister to you in any way. Thanks so much.
Jill LeBlanc:And there's a link below if you would like to get a copy of our book.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes.