Keepsake Chronicles | Family Heirlooms, Oral History & Legacy

What does it mean to inherit someone's kitchen?

A worn cookbook and a set of cookie cutters hold more than recipes — they hold the handwriting, the habits, and the quiet devotion of the people who cooked before us. In this episode, Heather sits with the objects that carried her family’s kitchen traditions forward, and we explore what it means to preserve not just a recipe, but the memory of the hands that made it.

The Thread of This Conversation:

- Why a cookbook is one of the most personal family heirlooms you can inherit
- Cookie cutters, small rituals, and the sensory memory of home cooking
- How food objects carry oral history and generational storytelling
- Preserving family recipes as a legacy and an act of love

Connect with our storyteller HERE
Join the conversation HERE

---
From the Studio
This episode is part of Keepsake Chronicles, produced by Story House. We believe story is a tool for meaning-making, not just performance.
Leave a voice message or reflection

The Letterbox
I read every letter. If something in this episode landed for you, or raised something you're still sitting with, I'd love to hear it.

Story House 
370 Mallard Loop Dr.
Clayton, NC 27527

Find the House

Presence over persuasion. Consistency over frequency. http://storyhousestudio.org

Creators and Guests

Host
J.D. Murgolo
Founder of Story House

What is Keepsake Chronicles | Family Heirlooms, Oral History & Legacy?

Every family has stories that only one person still remembers. Keepsake Chronicles with J.D. Murgolo is a history and legacy podcast dedicated to capturing those stories before they’re gone — one conversation, one memory, one keepsake at a time.

[00:00:00] Every story begins somewhere. This one begins with Story House Studios.

Opening Reflection
---

J.D.: There are some things you don't realize you've inherited until you start using them. Not displaying them, not protecting them, using them. A recipe you didn't think you memorized, a way of measuring without looking, the instinct to make something for someone when you don't have the words. It doesn't feel like inheritance in the moment.

It just feels like what you do. And then one day, you notice, "This didn't start with me."

Intro
---

J.D.: This is Keepsake Chronicles from Storyhouse Studios. I'm JD, a storytelling alchemist, and in this space, we slow down long enough to notice how the things we keep carry the stories that shape [00:01:00] us

Handoff
---

J.D.: When I sat down with Heather Nickerson, she told me about a cookbook and the kind of love that doesn't need to be explained to be understood

Heather's Cookbook Part 1
---

Heather: Thank you, JD. Well, my name is Heather Nickerson. I am the founder and CEO of Artifacts. I am also a lifelong storyteller, keeper of memories, collector of memories, and I like to think now that I'm a parent, a sharer of memories. And I am so excited to be here today and share one of my fondest memories and stories, and it's all about my mom.

So my mom, her love language was food, and growing up in New England, you can kind of imagine the little kind of puritanical culture here. We're not really good with emotions, and she wasn't one of those moms who was like, "Oh my gosh, I love you so much," or, "Come sit here and snuggle." [00:02:00] But her love language was, I think, really banana bread or apple pie

J.D.: speaks well with banana bread. I'm sorry

Heather: Exactly. Chocolate chip cookies. Like, those were, you knew, like, Mom loved you if you came home from school or you came home, yeah, from college,

J.D.: Yep

Heather: and there'd be a fresh-made banana bread or a pile of cookies. So for me, my... She passed, my mom passed away nearly 10 years ago, and it was completely out of the blue. And my brothers and I had to figure out what to do with all of her stuff. Um, she was a lifelong antiquer, and she too was a collector, but she never... Again, this whole, you know, growing up in New England, we're not really good at sharing. She never was good at sharing kind of like the stories or emotions.

So we, when she passed, we had this house full of, "What is this?

J.D.: Yeah

Heather: What are we supposed to do with it?" And [00:03:00] the sad thing is, none of us really knew what mattered most to her. So what ended up happening was, like, my brothers and I ended up keeping the items that meant something to us. So for me, it was her cookbook, or her cookbooks.

But one of my favorite ones, I actually, it's her Betty Crocker cookbook.

J.D.: Crocker. Look at that

Heather: It's held together with duct

J.D.: Yeah.

Heather: and it's got scribbles in the margin. Like, I doodled on the banana bread recipes, got my, like, little two-year-old crayon doodles, which

J.D.: man

Heather: I am positive she yelled at me when I was doodling in the cookbook.

J.D.: Yeah, that's like a Bible, uh, in some ways, right? Yeah

Heather: It really is, and it's like nowadays, you know, now that my daughter, she's a teenager, and you have that whole, you know, I think, you know, I'm sure with your kids too, like, you have that pre-teen/teen stage where

J.D.: Yeah

Heather: for us to communicate, I find myself actually now being so much like my mom, where my love language become food, and it's the recipes.

And my daughter, she'll ask, [00:04:00] you know, if she's had, like, a tough day at school, like, "Mom, can you make me Nana's banana bread? Can you make me the chocolate chip cookies?"

J.D.: Yeah

Heather: And it's just, it's been really, it's been amazing because we realized that my mother's story is living on, like, through the cookbook or through the cookbooks.

Yeah.

J.D.: Yeah. And was your daughter old enough to be, like, familiar with, like, that your... Did your mom cook that banana bread? I'm trying to just do the math. You said teenager in 2016 and 10 years, so like, uh, uh, like could remember it, but it's just one of those ones that like, as you get older, like I notice with my kids, like my, my, my son has a great memory and then, but I'm like, you're gonna forget all these things that we're like, whoa, he remembered that year two.

Does she remember that like there was a time when like Grandma made that?

Heather: She remembers bits and pieces, but she was, you know, she was five, um, when my mom passed, and we were living in DC. My mother was up on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. So

J.D.: det er sådan, ja

Heather: we saw her maybe three, four times a year, kind of during that phase when my daughter [00:05:00] could remember her.

So she doesn't have a whole lot of memories.

So again, that's for me, like one of my most prized possessions, and my whole family jokes about it. They know if anything, you know, if the house is on fire and I'm grabbing one thing, it's that cookbook

J.D.: Yeah. Yeah.

Heather: because it is that link

J.D.: yeah, and that to me is like that you said something very fascinating and that I always usually end up asking people at the end, but you, here you are bringing it up just on your own. It might be the first time that like you, you didn't really know how important that is.

And I always wonder, you know, as people come on here with their certain item, like did you make that clear? Um, and we just so happen to be going through a move for ourself and as I'm looking at my, my, my own parents' like stuff, like there are things that I can remember what they are and I know where they landed, you know, as far as the memory, and then it helps me in, you know, be able to inform like with my mom, like, "Nope, that goes to Goodwill," like now.

Um, but I can say that with a lot of that, but I don't really know if that's like true for everybody that it... Like [00:06:00] sometimes we are so removed from, not every item, but like, you know, particular items like that, that it comes to the question, you're like, "Um, was this important or not?"

Heather: Yeah. Yeah, and I think sometimes we have, like nowadays, right? Like, our homes have so much stuff,

J.D.: Yeah

Heather: and I think there's a really interesting, um... I was reading an article, I think it's LA Times, but there's a professional organizer who, I think her statistic is th- the average home has, in America, has I think 300,000 items.

And you think about that, right? And you're like,

J.D.: how?

Heather: how do you know what matters?" And that's the big thing. Like, I've been very intentional, like, with my family, being like, "Hey, this..." Of the things I kept of my mom's, like, there are some jewelry pieces, but it's really what matters most, it's the cookbook.

It's the recipes, 'cause I have the memories and the stories

J.D.: memories, correct, yeah

Heather: and it's like keeping my d- like, keeping those memories alive is telling my daughter every time I make a recipe, and it could be the sugar cookies, which I used to call moon cooks. I couldn't say sugar cookies when I was [00:07:00] two, and she would cut them, like, in the shape of a moon, so I

J.D.: Moon. Moon cooks. See? Like, and so, dude, I feel like you're definitely talking about my mom 'cause that is a, like, 100% her love language. And I, I say that at least, like, once a week. But y- you said something as, as well that, like, I've always had to, like, reiterate to my brother, and I don't know if he truly gets it.

We're five years apart. He's five years younger than me. Um, and he lives in a different state than us now. Um, but even growing up and when we lived in, you know, separate from our parents, you know, Mom would pack you with a bag, and she still does. Um, you know, every time we sit here on Sundays, that's e- either she went to the grocery store and got you something, or whatever we just ate, that's coming home.

And he would always, y- you know, when we lived in the same state but just different places, you know, we... She'd ask him, like, "Do you want this or do you want..." And he'd say, "No." And there is a version of no that should happen. Like, and I'm guilty of it, too, that I'll look at her and be like, "Yeah, I'm the only one who's gonna eat those sausage and [00:08:00] peppers.

Probably not." Like, I don't need it. This was good today. I don't need it. But he just, like, flat out says no to everything, and I just look at him sometimes, I'm like, "Dude, like, you're gonna just say yes to the food." Like, it's food, you know? And so it's just funny to hear that, like, t- from another person. It is what you do, because that's what they're saying.

It's just their way, "I'm not with you. I'm not going home with you. I'm not in the same home with you anymore. Um, so this is my way of being able to take care of you and know that I took care of you. Whether you eat the sausage and peppers later, I don't know." So, you know, being able to just say yes to it just because they need to hear that yes.

You could throw it away, and sometimes we do that. Like, my wife looks at me like, "We don't need that." I'm like, "I know, but maybe it'll stay in there, maybe it doesn't." But, you know, it maybe goes in there for the week in the refrigerator, and by the end of the week you're still throwing it out. But, like, you don't have to tell the person that.

They need... The person whose lo- love language is food just wants to know that you're taking care of them, right?

Heather: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And that's, I think that's, now that I'm, I think, a little bit older and able to reflect so much [00:09:00] more on this, again, like with s- my daughter and, like, our family, it's understanding that and, like, knowing too, like, it's funny sometimes my husband will be like, "You're baking her cookies again?"

'Cause she's now, she's at, she actually goes to a boarding school, but not too far away. Um, so we can see her, like, once a week or so, and she'll always ahead of time ask for, like, cookies or brownies or, like, the banana bread. And he's really funny. He's like, "Didn't you just bake her cookies?" And I'm like, "Yes," but it's something, like, for her, it's that tangible reminder of home, and it's, it makes me so happy to do it and also know it.

Like, these were my mom's recipes, and now we're, like, three generations on. Like m- like my mom, my daughter, me. Like, we're, it's how... It's not so much communicating, but it's that whole, it's keeping that memory, that story alive that is so important, and it's cool when she tells her friends, and we just,

J.D.: I was gonna ask, yeah

Heather: with, like, spring break, we just picked her up and we saw some of her friends, and they were just like, "Oh my gosh," like, "thank you so much."

Like, the cookies and banana bread are now

Mid Point Reflection
---

J.D.: [00:10:00] Listening to Heather talk about her mother, it's easy to focus on the cookbook, the duct tape, the handwritten notes, the crayon marks from childhood. But what stays with me is something quieter. The idea that love doesn't always announce itself. Sometimes it shows up as a meal, repeated enough times that it becomes invisible until it isn't, until the person is gone, and you realize the recipe was never just the recipe

Heathers Cookbook Pt.2
---

J.D.: Yeah. I was gonna ask, does she pass that along when she goes there? And like, to, so she's already catching on that like food is a way to communicate, um, and not make people like, you know, guilty conscious they ate a whole, you know, dozen like chocolate chip cookies, but like that you figured out that like this is a way to show if I can't find the words to say I care and I love you just yet, it's a way to still say that.

That's... I love that.

Heather: And it's really neat, like she's part of, um, a service learning group at her school, and they do a [00:11:00] lot of baking on Sundays for, um, a homeless, uh, shelter in town. And they... She's got the team now baking the, my mother's recipe for chocolate chip cookies as what they do for the dessert. And it's so neat to see, again, like what started with like a really old, torn, battered cookbook that literally pages were falling out of, that, you know, when I was like, "This is what I want from Mom, like this is my most prized possession from Mom," I think my family was like, "You are nuts."

But it's cool to see how that has, it stayed with us, and it's now being passed on to the next generation, and it's that... I know, it makes me feel really happy knowing that it's, it is lasting. The stories get passed down with the

J.D.: get passed down. And like, you know, as you move along here, you know, with the cookbook, i- it- does it become truly just, it's just an object now and it's, you know, you know, putting those stories into motion, but not necessarily the same... Do you find it like it's not necessarily the [00:12:00] same as it was growing up?

That cookbook, if you wanted to make it, it came out and how to do that. It's really now become, this is the relic, but this is what that relic provided me. I'm not throwing this away. I'm not getting rid of this because this is what it springboarded. Do you find yourself realizing that you don't take that out as much to be able to cook any and everything?

I mean, obviously you probably have these recipes like memorized, but, you know, has it just become just, it can just be living in the kitchen. It can still, you know, be in a glass case if you want to do in the kitchen, but it's really just that. It's now giving you what it needs to as far as the stories.

Heather: I would actually say n- like, y- no, it's not a relic. So I very much, um, there are definitely recipes that we have memorized by heart, but I think we still take out the cookbook and open it to the page and, you know, still be like, "Oh, wow," like, "Mom," like, "you drew that." Or like, "Wow, Mom, you crossed that out," or like, "There's Nana's handwriting there."

I think the other thing is that because we do love to cook so much, like there are certain recipes my mother did all the time, and then there's other recipes that, [00:13:00] you know, like we'll, um... One of my New Year's goals every year is to do a new recipe a week, so I've been working my way through the cookbook, like doing recipes that she hasn't or she never did for, that I remember, for us growing up.

J.D.: Yeah

Heather: Um, and again, it's one-- My favorite cookbook of hers is the Betty Crocker cookbook, but we have an entire collection of

J.D.: Yeah, I can imagine.

Heather: And it's funny, my daughter has already asked too. It's not this, like the cookbook itself is not, like kept on a shelf and thou shall not touch. Like it is, it's brought out several times a week for different, like recipes.

And my daughter was really funny when she's already thinking about like going off to college. Like she's definitely an advanced planner. She was like, "Mom, when I go, like do I get to take the cookbook?"

J.D.: Oh

Heather: And it was one of those moments I was like, "Huh.

J.D.: Well,

Heather: I haven't thought about that."

J.D.: you know, and it, it-- you realize then that it's your attachment. Um, my, my wife was like that with a totally different object, but [00:14:00] my son, you know, when he was, like, I mean, you know, two, like two, maybe three, um, she had an object of her father's who's, you know, been passed away for several years.

And in his own just, you know, childish ways, like just wanted to hang onto it, and it's still in his closet. But I could see her face for a second just be like, "You're cutting off a limb. Um, I don't know how I feel about this." You know? And I mean, obviously, you know, ultimately you say yes, and that's what you should with, you know, care of be mindful.

But, you know, they get it, and it sounds like your daughter gets it, that like this is not just a, you know, "Hey, toss this around." Like, this is important. Um, yeah, I can imagine.

Heather: Yeah. It's a piece of our, uh, I think it's become a, like, a modern family heirloom, and it's funny 'cause I think we were talking before we, we started recording about how keepsakes have different, like, different notions to different people, and I think heirlooms are the same thing. Like, I think oftentimes you hear heirloom, and it's like, oh, it's gotta be valuable or historically relevant, and it's...

I don't think so at all. Like, I think, like, for us, like, we [00:15:00] joke this is our, this is a family heirloom, right? This is something that gets passed down for the generations, and it... I didn't take it from my mom when she passed thinking like, "Okay, this is my daughter's gonna one day have this." Like, I

J.D.: No, right.

Heather: thought in mind, but I think because we do use it, like, and she's grown up with me pulling it off the shelf to make something or, um, us even flipping through it being like, "Hey, what new recipe do we wanna try this week?"

And, um, we just did one for chocolate pudding, which was delicious.

J.D.: Yeah.

Heather: nothing like the 19, uh, 60s chocolate pudding from scratch. So, um, I think it's, for us, like, I can now actually see, like, my daughter one day, maybe not in college, but one day she'll definitely get the cookbook, and I can see too, the fact that she loves to cook.

This may become something that she, within her family one day, gets passed down. Like,

J.D.: Sure

Heather: And it's just funny 'cause you never, I don't- I'm sure my mother in a million years have, would you be able to ask her, like, "Would this have been a family heirloom?" Like, she would've rolled her eyes at you and been like, [00:16:00] "No."

Yeah, exactly.

J.D.: Yeah. But I think to me, like, I mean, as I've done, you know, these conversations like enough now, uh, those are the... and honestly, I mean, just rattling through my brain, I mean, there's nothing that's truly been, you know, Antique Roadshow, like, you know, worthy of the fact that, oh, this is gonna, you know, catch a large prize.

They're all-- Some of them are historical items obviously, um, but I would say the majority of them are n- like nothing if you saw them by themselves. You'd look at it and go, "Well, that's a spoon." Like, "That's a desk." Like, "That's nothing." It's, to me, that's the definition of a keepsake or an heirloom or whatever you wanna call it is what, like, story did it provide?

Uh, you know, and what... and so, you know, 20 minutes later into your conversation with the person as you're talking about that object, you forgot where you started. You know, you're down memory lane that, especially with food I can't tell you how many times we do that in a week that, you know, it's like, do you remember at, you know, this holiday and, or this event, or do you remember [00:17:00] that, you know, when we cooked that?

And, you know, and it's just a, you're gone from that object, and I think that's the tell of if it's important to you. Did it spark another story? Um, so yeah, I

Heather: And that's why I think the stories are so powerful too. So if you just look at it literally, like if you had to, like if I got hit by a bus tomorrow and you had to clean out my house and not know the story it wouldn't even make the donate pile, right? Like that is how battered and tattered this cookbook is.

Someone would look at it and be like, "That's going in the trash." But knowing the story and knowing the history, I think that's what makes it a keepsake. That's what makes it so important to us. And I think what's really interesting too is that, you know, to another family, they may not... There's no personal attachment to it.

They could be like, "Oh, that's a nice story, but it doesn't matter to us." But it's within our family it's one of those items that is used, and it's remembered, and it's cherished, and it's... The story is passed down. It's not just the story of the recipes, but I think we oftentimes talk about like my mother and the funny things that, you know, one [00:18:00] year she forgot, or she didn't forget, but she mixed up the vanilla with the almond extract in making the moon cooks.

And my brother took a giant bite and spit it out 'cause he was horrified. Like,

J.D.: It's not the same cookie. Yeah

Heather: Yeah, it's not... And his four-year-old self was like, "Blah." And like those are the stories that go with. It's like, yes, it's a recipe. It's a cookbook with recipes, but then there's whenever you make them, and to your point, like sitting around the table and talking about it, especially with food, you totally do.

You start going down memory lane. Like that memory then leads to, "Yeah, remember the Thanksgiving when the dog got the turkey?" Like you just... It starts cascading. So

J.D.: Yeah. So you mentioned that when, you know, your mother passed and you were going through this, that, you know, nobo- none of you knew what was important. Did this kind of like, kind of reshape and refo- you know, re- redefine what, like, stories were for you? Or have you always been some kind of like teller and keeper of stories, and it's just like, you know, magnified it or vice versa, that it was like I had no interest in those memories or [00:19:00] stories as much, um, but then, uh, you realized like, "I have no idea what the word...

you know, the words are for these memories. I'd like to, like, go down that path." How did that work?

Heather: Yeah, that's a great question. Um, I think like in my 20s and 30s, it was kind of like my mother was our family keeper, right? Like, she knew all the stories, and she was the one, like, like for holidays or birthdays, like she'd be the one telling the stories, like starting that kinda trip down memory lane.

And then I think, you know, again, 20s, 30s, like you're so busy with your life and starting your own family, and it's kinda like, "Okay, yeah, that's nice." And then I think what happened is when she passed, for me, I realized like there was no-- like there was no one there to tell those stories, and I was the eldest.

My brothers are all, um... There's a, like about a 10-year age gap between myself and my youngest brother. And, you know, so I like, I then I think became the family keeper 'cause it was like that. I remember that first she [00:20:00] passed right before, um, Christmas, and we celebrate Christmas in our family. And I think for us, it was all like, "Oh my gosh, like first Christmas without Mom, like, what are we doing?"

And my youngest brother like called in a panic. He was trying to replicate like with his family, like some of the recipes, and he didn't know. And I found myself like spending an hour plus on the phone being like, "All right, this is... Yes, like the recipe says, you know, uh, like three-quarters cup shortening," but really it's Mom did a half cup butter and a quarter cup shortening, and she used a teaspoon of vanilla.

Like those little things, right? And I found myself like I knew that because I think in some ways, like I had more time with Mom, so I was able to, I think, form some of those memories, and I probably heard the stories more. And I think for me, coming out of that, like that first holiday without her, it was "Okay, like someone's gotta be the one that like is able to tell the stories and keep the stories."

And that was, I think for me, it then [00:21:00] became much more important, and especially important for me to pass down the stories to my daughter. Like that was the part that I realized, like she was so young that, like we were talking about earlier, she at course at the time had memories, but they've over the past decade, like they faded.

So it's trying to keep those stories and trying to keep, you know, kind of that... This may sound really goofy, but I'm a big believer that, you know, you may pass, but kind of your, as long as your story stays alive, there's a part of you that, that is still like with us, among us. And I think for me, that's kinda what I think led to my love of storytelling now, especially family stories and ensuring that we're documenting and sharing them.

Like not just across, like between my, among my brothers and myself, but with my daughter, with, you know, nieces and nephews, like even with, you know, my husband and his side of the family, kind of like sharing across families the stories. [00:22:00] So

J.D.: I think it, I mean, and it's a good point too that, I mean, it, to me I think we, we either go one of two directions. People either, like, panic and it's like, "How can I, like, hold onto all this?" And that has a downward slope eventually. Uh, just as much, uh, as the obvious one of, like not, I don't wanna say, like, not caring because it, it's not that, but it just doesn't seem as interesting.

You know? We... So quick to people, you know, put people in, you know, old folks' homes and I, you know, I don't wanna, I don't wanna be responsible. Again, I don't wanna, like, say, like, you don't care because you probably do care about your parents, but that's a bigger responsibility, and we forget that part.

But along with that comes this, is that there are stories that are lost in that one. So those are two obvious, but I think the middle ground there, you know, is what you're saying, that there are stories that are there, but if you try and, like, catch all of them, you never... your hand's gonna wear out, you know, trying to write them all down.

But if you just kind of just narrow in on just one at a time, the rest of it just, I feel like, just falls naturally. Like we were saying, like, you know, with the food. I mean, I bring it up at least [00:23:00] once a week. Um, part of the reason because we do see my, you know, my mom every week and that's, it's a production it feels like, you know?

It of having meals. But that's, if I think back, I mean, we didn't host, like, big parties or everything like that, but I mean, meals, and I still to this day have no idea how she made dinner for all four of us, um, in that short amount of time. But there were pieces to it. It wasn't just, "Here's a bowl of, like, macaroni."

There was, you know, there was a protein, there was a vegetable, and I, you know. So it's similar now, it just feels different because it's, like, you know, just a compacted amount of time, you know, when you're there with kids. But I feel like that's all our kids do is eat there. But they get it. Like, and they don't try and do anything different when they're home.

They know that when they're with, at Nonna's, that's when they're gonna get this certain item, and she loves it, and you're just looking at her like, "Mom, you didn't have to do that again," you know? But you did. And, you know, the popsicles, the ice creams, we don't do any of that kind of stuff on a regular basis here.

But they know that it comes there. But that one [00:24:00] story, if you just stick with that, like we were saying, just cas- you know, cascades into, like, a whole bunch. And I think that's the best way to not get in trouble with trying to collect all of them, trying to hold onto this, because then you're, I don't know, bottling in that grief, you know?

Correct me if I'm wrong

Heather: Yeah. And I think there's a piece that we've, like, oftentimes what we say is that memories beget more memories, right? So if you start sharing, like, one or two, like kind of those core memories, those core stories, it does, it unlocks others, and

J.D.: Others,

Heather: you may not realize it or think about it, but, like, we see that all the time.

Um, and that's... And I think, too, like another, like, another piece of, I think, how people deal with, like, kind of the stories and the memories and sometimes maybe the burden they may feel being the keeper,

J.D.: Yeah

Heather: that we have different ways of grieving. We have different ways of, you know, addressing this. And one of my other brothers was you know, it's, a- again, New England family, we're really great with emotions, let me tell [00:25:00] you.

Not. Um, but for him, the first couple years after, you know, we lost our mom, it was-- he was very kinda like that tight-lipped, like very stoic, very... And I think we all deal, again, with stories and memories it's differently in how we process, especially if there's grief involved or if there happens in your family to have trauma involved.

Like, it's, we do process it very differently. And so I think it's, for me, it's a very happy moment and memory to, like, hold her

J.D.: Hold on to that

Heather: like, think about the fact that she, like, turned the pages herself, that she had her notes in there. She, you know, even sometimes there's like a random phone number in a corner, and I'm, every now and then I'm tempted to call and

J.D.: Yeah.

Heather: "Hey, this number was in the cookbook.

My mother wrote it down.

J.D.: this? What story is this gonna unfold? Yeah,

Heather: Exactly. But I think it's, for me, it's, I just find it really special that we do have, we have these keepsakes, we have these items that unlock those stories and unlock those memories.

J.D.: Yeah. And so I'm [00:26:00] guessing this is semi-informed, like the work that you do now, um, as far as, you know, artifacts and maybe not entirely, but did it have some kind of like sprinkle of like, let me explore this even further"?

Heather: So 100%. Um, I was actually president of a global security company, and I was working in security and privacy, and I had just authored a book on how to protect your privacy right before... Um, I'll tell you this. It's not a great time to launch a national book tour the week before a global pandemic. I'll just leave it at that.

So, so I was kinda, you know, the whole typical, I think, DC, like running and gunning, and had an amazing career. And then COVID happened, and my mother had passed away, and before COVID. But we were, like during COVID, you were, we were all essentially stuck at home staring at our items and thinking about loved ones, and that very much inspired what I'm now doing.

So that's, for [00:27:00] me, it's, um... I say that we created artifacts in honor of my mother. It's now grown much bigger, but that was initially, she was the impetus. Like pass down the stories, pass down the memories, um, and make sure the next generation knows 'cause otherwise, you know, this cookbook is not gonna jump up and say like, "Hey, I'm a keeper."

So,

J.D.: That's, I mean, going back to what we were just saying, that we're we either do one of two things. We're either, like, grappling for everything, or we try and push that away. Do you find that people, and again, we can pick on my generation 'cause I feel like I'm the one that, like, does it wrong.

Thankfully, I have a wife that's similar to me that we're both like, "What are you doing to your family?" Um, but I- we also know that's not the case. I mean, we see it with our own family that it's a struggle just to get people to visit, you know, for even just, you know, the holidays, or even just to check in and say hello, or like we, we kinda just resided ourself, 'cause I know my parents were like that growing up, that we were the ones that went there, and I didn't question [00:28:00] it.

I didn't wonder why until I got older, and then I was like, "Oh, 'cause nobody else is doing that." But that's where the stories grow. So do you find that people, I don't wanna say, like, you know, don't want the stories, but do you find that people have a hard time, it's kind of tied to an emotion, so I guess probably getting that out there and just, like, being able to sit with, you know, somebody, you know, a family member.

We won't even say somebody that's older than, but just a family member in general and say, "Can you tell me about the time that, you know, growing up..." Because, I mean, I can think of, like, hundreds of, like, you know, people in my life that I wasn't there when they were, you know, at a certain age, but I've heard it from my parents, but I don't know that story.

Um, yeah.

Heather: Yeah, what I've seen over the years that it really depends, I think, on the family and kind of also where you, like, as the individual, if you're trying to collect the stories or you're trying to share the stories, like, where are you? I will say one thing that is, I think, almost a given with kind of everyone that we've worked with over the years is that [00:29:00] sadly, whenever there's a death in the family, that's always when there's the, "Oh my gosh," like, "I wish I had the stories."

And then they go into a frantic, like, you know, start contacting everyone they knew that knew their loved one. Like, "What stories do you have of, like, mom or dad or grandma or grandpa?" Whoever that person is. And that becomes a very, like, you're trying to hold on.

J.D.: yeah

Heather: And I think, like, for us, we've always been like, "Hey," like, "Take them.

It doesn't take long." Like, you could, next time you have a phone call, be like, "Hey, Mom, what's your favorite book?" And that's-- I use that

J.D.: it is,

Heather: because for me, I joke about us being a good old New England family and, you know, not sharing. My mother also is an amazing collector of books, an avid reader. And yes, I got her cookbooks.

I, to this day, have no idea what her favorite book was. And she, not joking, she had a library of, like, thousands of books. And we, my brothers and I kinda stared at each other and we're like, "I don't know what to do with these." Yeah, like, we ended up donating them 'cause none of them had meaning or, like, memory to [00:30:00] us.

J.D.: To you, right

Heather: But we would've-- I mean, had I known, like, oh my gosh, Mom's favorite book was, you know, Robert Frost poetry or whatever it was,

J.D.: You would have kept that, right?

Heather: I-- in a heartbeat, I would've kept it, and I would've read it, and I would've read it to my daughter. So I think, like, when you-- I guess if there's, like, one, I don't wanna say advice, but just one thing to keep in the back of your mind if you're listening to this or, you know, thinking about your own family, is that it's, it doesn't take much to ca- like, to get a story or memory that's new to you, and it's simply asking a question.

Yeah. So it's could be favorite book or favorite color or... Because as you were saying earlier, like, you ask the question, they share the story. Again, like, memories and stories typically beget more memories than stories. And if you have the time, ten minutes later, they're still talking

J.D.: There it is.

Heather: something else.

So it's-- I would just say sometimes pause and appreciate the small things, and don't be afraid to ask a question you don't know, so.

J.D.: Yeah. Well, Heather, thank you so much for [00:31:00] sharing this keepsake story, but more importantly, the advice that goes along with it. 'Cause I usually end up like, like asking these kind of questions at the beginning, and you kind of regurgitated, um, without even asking. So I can tell that this is truly your life's work.

Heather: Thank you so much, JD. It's been a pleasure talking with you, and thank you so much for the work that you're doing with this podcast. It's truly incredible, so

J.D.: Thank you

Closing Reflection
---

J.D.: A cookbook held together with duct tape. Cookie cutters pulled out when something needs to be made. At a glance, they don't look like much. Not rare, not valuable, easy to overlook, but they carry something forward, a way of loving, a way of showing up, a way of making sure someone feels cared for even when you don't have the words Across this season, we've held a lot of things.

A watch, a box, a desk, a frame, a rock, an apron, a [00:32:00] collection. Each one carrying a story. Each one holding something just beneath the surface. But maybe what they all point to is this. The things we keep aren't really about the things. They're about what continues through them, what gets passed down without instruction, what stays alive because we keep using it, keep sharing it, keep remembering.

Sometimes intentionally, sometimes without even realizing it. And maybe that's enough

Outro
---

J.D.: Thank you for listening to Keepsake Chronicles from Storyhouse Studios. I'm JD, a storytelling alchemist. Notice what you've inherited, not just what you can hold, but what you've become