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A faith-forward podcast for people who love Jesus but also love being honest about how weird and wonderful life can be. Hosts Kerrye and Jill tell stories about the Bible, talk about their faith, and dig into what it looks like to follow God through the ordinary chaos of everyday, imperfect life. Real conversations. Real stories. No pretending to have it all together. Pull up a chair, turn the page, and let's go.
Welcome to Chapter and
Verse The Junior Version.
We're gonna be telling some fun
Bible stories just for kids.
Yes.
We're gonna be telling true Bible stories.
And it's gonna be so awesome.
Calm down, Dewey.
I am calm.
But I'm excited.
Okay.
I'm happy that you're excited.
Are you ready to get started?
Yes, let's go.
Okay.
This is Jill.
And Dewey.
Let's turn the page.
Hey, everybody.
Hey, everybody.
Dewey and I are coming at you today
with the story of David and Goliath.
I love this story, I
think, if I remember it.
That's why we're telling it,
so I can remember it, so.
I, I really hope you do remember it.
I hope I do.
But we'll see.
I, I don't even know where it's found in
the Bible, I just know it's in the Bible.
It is in the Bible.
And if you wanted to look it up
and read it for yourself, which
I highly recommend you do, Dewey,
especially if you want to remember
it- It's probably in the Book of David
There is no Book of David.
What?
There isn't a Book of David.
What is it?
You mean he didn't even write about this?
I mean, he did write about this.
But, I mean, why isn't
it just called David?
Well, I don't know why it's not called
David, but David wrote a lot of books,
and none of them are called David.
Oh.
He just, he didn't wanna
name it after himself.
I guess not.
I guess I...
Well, I probably would
wanna call it Dewey.
Dewey's a- I'm gonna write a book
called Dewey ... Dewey's a good name.
Yeah.
Maybe not for a book.
Why?
I don't know.
What?
First Dewey, chapter one.
Let's go I'm just waiting on pins
and needles for that to happen.
It's gonna be a good one.
It's gonna be a good one, I'm sure.
Anyway, if you wanna read about
David and Goliath, you would have
to read in 1 Samuel, chapter 17.
First...
Well, that makes sense, because
Samuel knew David, right?
Yeah.
He knew him.
Uh-huh.
He didn't...
He was the one that anointed him, right?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
That's why he wrote about it.
Yeah.
'Cause he, he knew about it, so.
Sure.
All right.
Let's go.
Okay.
So we're gonna be reading
from the Easy English version.
Good, because I like some easy English.
I thought you might, and I think
the kids might like it, too.
So we're gonna get started in chapter 17.
All right.
1 Samuel.
Let's go.
And we're gonna start in verse two.
Okay.
Okay.
So , verse two starts with,
"Saul and the Israelite army
put up their tents- Who's Saul?
Saul was the king.
I thought...
Wait a second.
I thought David was the king.
David becomes king later.
Oh.
But this is before he was king.
Oh, okay.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
So do you need a little backstory?
Yeah.
Okay.
Tell me about Saul.
Well, Saul was the king, and at
this time he was a good king.
Oh, no.
Is this one of those,
he turns bad and- Yeah.
In this story?
P- not in this part of the story.
Oh.
But power does crazy things to people.
Well, so this chapter, he's
a good ch- he's a good guy.
Yeah.
All right.
He's a good guy.
I'm ready for it.
So the two armies, the Israelite
army and the Philistine army,
have had a standoff for a while.
They're standing off.
Yep.
Staring each other down.
Yep.
So they're on one side of a
valley, and the Philistines are
on the other side of the valley.
They didn't, they didn't
wanna get near each other.
Nope.
Not yet.
Not yet.
So they're preparing to fight.
So verse three says, "The Philistines
were standing on one hill, the
Israelites were on another hill, and
the valley was between the two armies."
Uh-huh.
"The Philistines had a
strong, brave soldier."
I know who it was.
Who?
I already know because
it was in the title.
It was in the title.
His name is Goliath.
Yep.
Do you know where he was from?
Goliathville.
No.
So he was from a town called Gat.
I never would've guessed it.
Nope.
And he was nearly three meters tall.
Wait a second.
What?
We're in America.
Yes.
Can you please speak American?
So- I don't know what these meters are.
If what you mean is you would like
the imperial measurement- Okay.
You just- Roughly nine feet.
Did you hear that?
That was that going right over my head.
Okay, he was roughly nine feet tall.
Okay.
Nine feet- I'm probably two foot- Plus a
little bit ... maybe That's really tall
for somebody like me That is very tall.
It's very tall for someone like
me, and I'm considered a tall girl.
Yeah.
And probably he, probably...
It doesn't say.
Does it say that he was, how fat he was?
Um, it does not say how fat he was.
I bet he was- I mean- ... really fat.
Um, the, it does talk about
the armor, how much the armor
weighed, but it doesn't say...
I don't know.
He's a strong, like,
he's their best fighter.
You know what I heard, too?
Typically, the best fighters aren't fat.
Did you see that- They're
big ... did you see that David movie?
I didn't ... that cartoon?
I didn't.
That, it showed him,
and he had six fingers.
Yeah.
You think he, you think he really did?
Yeah.
They- That's kinda gross
they talked about that, yeah.
And you know what I thought
when I watched that movie?
What?
He probably stunk.
Why?
You know.
He's big and ugly, and- Big, big
people don't stink ... he just
looked like he- Ugly people don't
stink ... he just looked like he stunk.
I almost could smell him when
I was watching the movie.
Smelled like onions.
I think you are- And corn ... feeling
that way because- And corn chips
... 'cause you knew he was a bad guy.
Yeah, I know.
He stunk.
Okay.
He just had that look.
He had that look.
I felt like going up to the screen
and scratching and sniffing.
Well, I would highly advise that
you refrain from that, dude.
All right.
Goodness gracious.
So stinky Goliath, let's talk about it.
Stinky Goliath.
Nearly nine feet tall, and he wore a
helmet and armor that were made of bronze.
He didn't have gold.
Nope.
Ha ha.
Well, also, gold is kind of a
soft metal, technically, so it
wouldn't be very good armor.
Oh.
But- All right ... the armor for
his body weighed about 57 kilograms.
And before you ask, I do
not know- Oh, my goodness.
What is this version?
... how to put it into pounds.
You're rated.
It's the Easy English version.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So- Well, sounds like the- ... it's
English, not American ... sounds
like the Easy British version.
Well, maybe.
I don't know.
All right.
No.
Anyway, so it goes on and it talks
about the specific, um, type of armor
that he had and how he had pieces of
bronze to protect his legs, and he had
a bronze sword that he tried on his
back, and he also carried a heavy spear.
Why do you think the Bible
tells us all this stuff?
Um, probably to indicate
just how strong he was.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
'Cause this is all pretty
heavy, heavy stuff.
It's painting a picture of him.
Yeah.
So bronze is, like, people make
statues and stuff out of bronze.
It's really heavy.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Uh.
And then it, it goes on to
say that the spear that he
carried was as thick as a tree.
Oh.
And that the iron on the point of
the spear weighed a lot as well.
Oh, okay.
All right.
And then it says, "A man who carried
Goliath's shield walked in front of
him," which doesn't seem very fair to me.
Like, y- you got- Why?
... all this other stuff going on.
You can't carry your own shield?
You gotta have some pansy in front of you?
Yeah, that ki- that kinda makes
him seem a little, well, first of
all, like a coward But also mean,
making somebody else walk in front
of you in case they get hit first.
Yeah, I don't want that job.
Yeah, I don't like it.
Yeah.
Anyway, it says, "Goliath
stood up and he shouted to the
Israelite soldiers- He shouted.
He shouted, "Why have you- Why?
Sorry.
I just get excited.
I know you do.
Go ahead.
"Why have you all got
ready to fight against us?"
That seems like- I mean..
... crazy English, but it's
easy English, I guess.
"I am the great soldier
of the Philistine army."
He's bragging on himself.
Mm-hmm.
"You serve Saul as his soldiers.
Is that not true?"
So he's taunting them.
And he- He was being a bully right
away, just came out bullying.
Yep.
It says, "So you must choose one of
your men to come and fight against me.
If he can kill me in a fight, we
Philistines will become your slaves."
Oh.
"But if I knock him down and I
kill him, then the Israelites
will become our slaves."
Okay.
Well.
So he, he puts it out there.
So- He's like, "Let's make a
bet" ... I, you know who I would send?
Who?
I mean, I feel like I would send
you first because you're taller.
Really?
And then I would see what would happen.
Well, I'm not- And then I would
decide ... I'm not a great soldier.
And- Then I would decide who.
I'd send the tallest first, and
then the next tallest, and the ne-
and then me last 'cause I'm short.
Well, I'm not sure how they
went about sending stuff, but-
Do you think they sent anybody?
Mm-mm.
Nobody wanted to go.
Everybody was scared.
Nobody volunteered.
Everybody said, "No."
No one, no one volunteered.
Scaredy-cat.
So it says, um, "King Saul and all
the Israelite soldiers heard what
Goliath said, and it made them
very upset- King- ... and afraid."
King Saul was- Mm-hmm ... a chicken.
He was.
In this instance, for sure.
Yeah.
I mean- You know, typically-
... think of something, King Saul.
You got...
You're, you're the, you're the king.
Yeah.
Typically, a king would, you know, rally
his troops and talk to them and get them
pumped up and ready for f- for the battle.
And Saul- And he did the opposite.
In this part, it's Saul like God.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, why didn't he just start praying?
Maybe he did.
Oh.
And that's why David shows up.
But it just doesn't say.
It just doesn't say.
Ah.
But for some reason, David shows up.
Well, come on.
I'm ready for him.
Yep.
All right.
So for 40 days, Goliath would
stand up and insult the- 40 days?
40 days straight, he would stand up-
That's wh- that's how long it rained Yeah.
Yeah.
That's an interesting point, Dewey.
I wonder- Yeah, I just, well,
I just was listening to a
story about Noah, and that's...
I remember that from yesterday.
Yeah, we talked about
it in church, didn't we?
Yeah.
It rained for 40 days and nights.
Yep.
And here it is again, 40.
Wonder what 40 means.
I don't know.
We need to look that up.
Hey, kids- Yeah ... go look it up.
Ask your parents what 40 means.
Oh, yeah.
Go, go ask them.
Anyway, so for 40 days, Goliath would
stand up and insult the Israelites and,
uh, every morning and every evening.
So for 40 days straight,
he insulted them twice.
Hmm.
Twice a day.
So then- A bully.
He's just a bully.
So then David- Hey, there was a
bully at school that was mean to me.
I'm sorry to hear that.
He called me, he called me a flower head.
A flower head?
Yeah.
Well- And I don't know why,
because he has yellow hair like me.
I don't know.
And he's...
You know who it is.
Is it Smarty?
Yes.
Well- He's a bully.
Smarty- I bet...
He only has four fingers.
He's not like Goliath.
He's not like Goliath.
But he does stink.
I don't know that that's nice.
I know that Smarty takes baths.
He does.
He stinks.
You know that smell of, like, when
a baby spits up on your clothes?
Yes.
He doesn't smell like that, but
that's how I think he should smell
. That's how he should smell, Dewey?
Because he's mean.
I think that you should be nicer, and
maybe if you're nicer, he'll be nicer.
I'll pray about it.
Pray about it.
Anyway, so David comes on the scene.
All right?
So David's been bringing
his brothers lunch.
What does he bring them?
I, I mean, grain.
I think it said something in there
about what he brought them, but
I don't remember what it said.
Yeah.
He, he takes grain that's
been cooked, and bread.
So grain, like, I don't know, oatmeal
maybe- Oh, I love oatmeal ... or,
like, rice or something like that.
Yeah.
Some kind of grain.
What else?
Um, some bread, some cheese.
You know what he took them?
What?
A Lunchable.
Kind of.
Like crackers and cheese.
I love those.
Or like a charcuterie board.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He just brought himself, his brothers
a charcuterie board with some oatmeal.
Yeah.
So anyway, so he's bringing the, the
food, and he ends up taking the food
to some of the soldiers, like the, the
bosses in the soldiers, the officers.
Okay.
So- So they shared it.
Mm-hmm.
And so he gets up and he, he goes
and he does all of this, and he,
he's been doing this for a while.
So David gives his gifts of the,
the food to the officer, and
he, um, does the whole thing.
Then the, he ran to the place
where the Israelite soldiers were
standing, and he said hello to his
brothers to see if they were okay.
Did they like him?
His brothers?
Yeah.
Eh.
What do you think?
I mean, meh.
They were brothers.
I don't- Oh, yeah ... I don't think
that they were, like, besties.
. So I mean, you know what?
I wonder how old he was.
What do you think?
Well, the Bible doesn't say exactly,
but most of the scholars, most of the
smarty pants, they, um- Not smarty.
He doesn't- Not smarty-smarty ... he
doesn't know ... but just the smart
guys, um, smart people, they, uh, they
think that he was about 15 years old-ish.
So he was too young to
be in the army, for sure.
For sure.
All right.
So anyway, so he's...
And he's the youngest, so all of
his other brothers are in the army.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
So he goes, and while he's talking
to all of them, Goliath marches
out to the Philistine army, and,
you know, he does his whole thing
where he insults everybody again.
'Cause he's a bully.
Yep.
And then- You smell like onions, Goliath.
So David- Just saying ... heard
what Goliath said.
How do you think it made David feel?
Um, I bet, I mean, okay,
I'm gonna picture this.
You know what?
I bet he was mad.
Yeah.
'Cause he really,
really, really loved God.
He did.
But he probably was scared.
I mean, he might have been
scared a little bit, but I think
he was more mad than scared.
Yeah, I would've been mad.
I think, you don't talk about...
You can talk about me, and
you can talk about my dog,
but you don't talk about God.
Not, not bad.
Not- Yeah ... not in front of me.
For sure.
So- I don't like it ... so while
he's, you know, mouthing off, while
Goliath is mouthing off and David
is getting angry 'cause he's hearing
what this says, all the, all the
Israelite soldiers around him run away.
So David sees, like, oh, they're scared.
All those grown-up men- Mm-hmm
and one teenager.
And so David the teenager, David the
youngster, he's looking around, and he
says, "If someone kills this Philistine
soldier and takes away the shame
from Israel, what gift will he get?"
He wanted to know if he would get a prize.
Yeah.
He said, I mean, he's, he
must stop insulting the army
of our God who lives forever.
That's right.
The, the best God, the only
God, that's worth anything.
So yeah.
So they tell David what the king
is gonna do to help the guy who
kills that Philistine soldier,
and David's like All right.
So while David's talking with the
soldiers, his oldest brother hears
him, and he gets really mad at David
and is like, "Why are you here?
You should be taking care of a
few sheep in the wilderness."
They thought he was a nuisance.
You know, I've been called that.
Yeah.
They said, "Who's taking
care of the sheep?
I know how proud you are.
I know about your wicked ideas.
You came here only to watch the battle."
So- They thought he just wanted to
come and see the blood and gut stuff.
Yeah.
I mean, at this point, David, he had done
some stuff while he was a soldier, and...
Or not a soldier, a shepherd.
Yeah, he killed a lot of animals.
Yeah, he protected his sheep really well,
and he had, he had handled business.
Yeah.
He had stood on- He came to
watch the show ... business.
And ate his lu- uh, Lunchable.
So David says, "I haven't
done anything wrong, right?
Like, I only asked a question."
So David goes away- They were arguing.
He and his brothers were arguing.
Yeah.
Sometimes I argue with my siblings.
So David leaves, talking to his
brothers, and he goes and he asks some
other people the same question, and
all the men give him the same answer.
So some of the soldiers go to
the king, and the- He thought
his brothers were lying.
That, that's what that boils down to.
He had to make sure they
were telling him the truth.
Yeah.
So some of the soldiers go to King Saul,
and they tell him what David had said,
and Saul told David to come to him.
So now- Oh
David gets- He's being called
to the principal's office.
Yep, so now he's gotta go to the king.
He might've been a little scared.
So David says to King Saul, "We should
not be afraid of this Philistine.
I am your servant.
I'm ready to go and fight against him."
What?
And Saul probably was like,
"Are you kidding me, kid?"
Yeah.
He said, "You could not fight
against this strong Philistine.
You are only a boy."
That's true.
"He has been a brave soldier
since he was a young man."
But David said to Saul, "Sir,
I've been a shepherd who takes
care of his father's sheep."
Now it's David's turn to brag.
Mm-hmm.
Here he goes.
But is it bragging, or is it just- I mean-
being accurate, having an accurate-
That's true ... recounting of events?
We can't...
You know what?
When you read the Bible,
sometimes you can't hear the tone.
That's true.
You can't tell how...
Like, you could say- But he was young,
so he probably was bragging a bit.
I mean, he's 15.
Yeah.
Um, so he talks about how he w- has
killed a lion and then a bear, and so, you
know, he's, he's handled his, his stuff.
He's like, "I've killed
lions and bears like that.
I'll do the same with this unclean
Philistine," which, I mean, I
guess, maybe, maybe you're right.
Maybe he was stinky.
It says unclean.
Yeah, I'm telling you.
I think that might mean something
different, but- Stinky ... we'll see.
Yeah, it probably does.
He has insulted the army of
our God, who lives forever.
The Lord has kept me safe from lions
and bears, and so Saul's like- I
take it like that he wanted to do it.
Yeah, Saul, basically Saul says the same
thing, like, "All right, if you wanna
try it, I, I mean, I guess I'll let you.
No one else will do it, so I
guess we'll give it a shot."
So- See what will happen.
Yep.
So Saul takes off his own armor and is
like, "Here, kid, you're gonna need this."
Uh- And he- No ... he gives him all the
arm- That would, that'd been too heavy.
It is too heavy.
It doesn't fit, right?
'Cause he's a kid, and Saul, you
know, the king, he's a grown man.
So imagine having to wear your dad's
armor Oh, I tried on, I tried on my
dad's, uh, h- his, uh, hunting clothes.
Mm-hmm.
With the big boots that you
have to go out in and all this.
I couldn't move them.
Exactly, and that's how David was.
Plus I don't have, plus I
don't have any legs, so.
I mean, I'm sure that- How
does your dad have boots for
legs, but you don't have legs?
I'm adopted.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Do you?
Yeah, I am.
He has legs.
Okay.
He has legs.
But he is missing a finger.
We'll have to get into that later.
But yeah.
I couldn't move.
I had all those heavy clothes on.
Okay.
So neither could, neither could David.
So David says, "Listen,
I'm not doing this."
And he says, um, "I'm, I've
never worn this before.
I'm taking it off."
So he takes it off.
He's like, "I'm gonna handle this
the way I'm used to handling things."
So he goes to the stream.
He picks up five round
stones from the stream.
He puts them in the pocket
of his shepherd's bag, and
he's got his slingshot.
Why'd he have five?
I don't know.
Did he think he might miss?
Maybe.
Or maybe he didn't know that it
would knock him down with one shot.
I don't know.
Okay, here we go.
I can't wait to get to the end.
It's gonna be so good.
So David gets there,
and Goliath just laughs.
Like, he just laughs at David.
He laughed wickedly, I'm sure.
Mm-hmm.
Probably.
I, I got something in my throat.
Uh, well, when you laugh
like that, you tend to.
Um, so he says, "Do you think that
I'm a dog and you can just knock
me down with a little stick?"
And then- Now see, right there, that makes
me think that he hit dogs with a stick.
Yeah.
He probably was mean to animals.
He probably was.
He was a wicked dude.
I know.
I don't like him.
So, so then- I don't like him ... he
prayed to his gods, not the real God-
That, they're not gonna answer ... but
to his gods, that they would curse David.
Well, that's not working- Nope
... 'cause David- And then- ... serves
God ... in his, in his arrogance,
he said, "Come nearer to me.
I will feed the birds and the
wild animals with your dead body."
That's kinda gross.
No, but it got him to come closer,
which means that he had a better shot.
Oh, well, that's true.
Yeah.
See how God turned that part around?
Yep.
So David says to him, "You've come
to fight against me with a sword,
a knife, and a spear, but I come
to fight against you with the
authority of the Lord Almighty."
I feel like there's background
music playing at this point.
I know, right?
Like, everything- Yeah.
Didn't, didn't every army-
Everything has crescendoed ... like,
march around with a band?
Is that true?
Um- I feel like I read that somewhere.
I think so.
Like, they sent out worshipers before
battle- Like the trumpets and stuff
and, yeah, and like- And da da da.
Yeah.
So he says, "I come to fight against you
with the authority of the Lord Almighty.
He is the God who leads Israel's
army, and you have insulted him.
Today, the Lord will make me
strong to win against you.
I will knock you down, and
I will cut off your head.
Today, I will- That's gross, too.
I know.
"Today, I will feed the birds and the
wild animals with the- Yeah ... dead
bodies of the Philistine soldiers."
Yes.
"Then everyone on Earth will know
that there is a God who takes-
Everybody ... care of Israel."
Everybody will know.
"The Lord does not need swords
or spears to save His people.
Everyone here will soon know that.
The Lord is the one who fights
our battles, and He will
put you under our power."
Yeah, you jerk.
Did he say that?
So- Did he say, "Yeah, you jerk"?
No, he did not.
I feel like you should add that line,
but God says don't add anything.
No, no.
Yeah, you jerk.
I- that was just for my
own personal thought.
I'm not adding to it.
Like, if you were standing there,
that's what- Yeah, I would've been
saying- ... you would've shouted out
in- Yeah, you jerk ... solidarity.
Yeah.
Maybe somebody did.
Maybe so.
It says, "The Philistine soldier
started to move nearer to David to
attack him, and David ran forward
quickly to fight against him.
David reached into his bag,
and he took out a stone."
While he was running.
While he was running.
I mean, that's hard.
He, he put the stone into his sling,
and he threw it, and the stone hit
the Philistine's man's head above
his eyes, and it went in very deep.
Oh, wow.
So it, it broke his forehead.
That gave him a headache.
That gave him- You think
it broke his skull?
Yeah.
Oh.
Yes.
Yes, I do.
You know what I think?
I think God got behind that stone
and just pushed it, pushed it
straight in with his little finger.
I mean, probably.
Ugh, who knows.
It says, "Goliath fell down
with his face on the ground.
In that way, David used a
sling and a stone to win
against the Philistine soldier.
He knocked down the Philistine,
and he killed him, and David did
not even hold a sword in his hand.
David then ran over and stood over
Goliath, and he pulled Goliath's
sword out, and he killed him."
Oh, he used his own sword.
Then he used- That's a- ... it to cut off
Goliath's head ... that's a hero move.
That is a hero move.
And that, you know, you
said that sword was heavy.
Mm-hmm.
Like a tree.
Yeah.
Well, the spear- Oh, the
spear ... was a- You're right, you're
right ... was as big as a tree.
But if the spear was as big as
a tree, it stands to reason that
the sword was also very heavy.
So David was a strong 15-year-old.
You know, sometimes teenagers are strong.
Sometimes, but he also probably had
some adrenaline helping him out there.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
It says, "The Philistines saw
that their best soldier was
now dead, so they ran away."
Of course they did.
Yeah.
Wouldn't you?
Like, now they don't have
any bully to go before them.
Mm-hmm, and so when the soldiers from
Israel and Judah saw what had happened,
they chased after the Philistines, and
they shouted their war song as they ran.
You think that's how it went?
I think that's exactly how it went.
Do we?
It was a war song.
It was a war song, but I don't know.
I don't know what their
war song sounded like.
Yeah, I...
Kids, I want y'all all to do that
all day so it'll remind you of David.
I don't...
I think that'd be fun I'm gonna
preemptively apologize to the parents.
You can take it up with Dewey.
I say it's all right.
You're just quotin' the Bible.
It's a war song.
W- you're quoting- ... Dewey's
interpretation.
You're quotin' the Bible with a war song.
Yeah.
How about we say, kids, go ahead and, and
discover what your own war song would be.
Yeah, it might be better than that one.
It might be.
Okay, Dewey.
Anyway, so the Israels, the Israelites
chase after 'em, and then they slaughter
'em, and that's how, that's how we won.
That's the best story.
I like that one.
Yeah.
I, I just- It's a pretty good
one ... I just wanna do another one.
We probably ran out of time.
Probably.
We probably should just
stick to this one today.
All right.
Well, I like it.
Let us know what y'all thought.
Yep.
So again, if you wanna
read it for yourselves- Or
listen ... I highly recommend it.
Or listen to it.
Yep.
It's in 1 Samuel Chapter 17.
It's a good 'un.
All right.
Dewey.
Okay, I'm done.
Okay.
Do you wanna say bye?
Yeah.
Bye.
Bye, everybody.