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Last night's performance draws scrutiny from the law, forcing Jane to defend herself from more than accusations.
Calamity Jane guides a theatre troupe across hostile lands while fleeing the ghosts of her past. (Western/Full-cast audio drama)
Location: INT. FARMER’S STABLES - NIGHT
Sound: Gradually increasing sound of a burning fire.
JANE (V.O.): That night I dreamt of fire. Everything I have, am, and ever will be just burning bright...I could hear the wood splinter and crack...
JANE (V.O.): ...Bill’s to my right, trapped beneath a table. He ain’t moving. I try and call out to him but my lungs choked with ash...Crawling through the soot, smoke and heat...I reach out only to grab a fistful of ember. The fire crackles as it swallows us whole...
SHERIFF (V.O.): Then what?
JANE (V.O.): Then I woke up...to an actual fire.
Sounds: Windows shatter. Burning wood structure groans, eventually collapsing.
JANE (V.O.): I was looking for my horse & fell asleep in the neighboring town’s stables. Party-crashers from earlier must’ve caught my trail. Brought the fire with em.
Sounds: Inferno. Heavy knocks all around the barn doors.
REED (O.S.): She’s in there. She’s gotta be in there!
BRIAN: Come on out now, girlie! We didn’t get to finish our talk earlier.
REED (delusional): You’ll pay for getting between me and my sweet Faith!!!
Sounds: Many boots outside. Surrounding the place.
JANE (V.O.): I counted five total. Two in the back, two at the sides, leaving
loud mouth out front. A fair fight if ever I saw it.
BRIAN: Come on out or we’ll smoke you out!
JANE (V.O.): I snuck off along the bales, keepin’ low till I was right at the side door. I could see one of them on horseback, covering the exit. My plan was a direct shot right between his eyes. Then stealing his horse and looping around for a
mounted attack. They were counting on me to start the show and I couldn’t disappoint.
BRIAN: --five--four--three--
Sounds: Gunshot from a distance.
JANE (V.O.): Bullseye! Only problem, it wasn’t
my gun.
Sound: Brian’s leg bursts open and he collapses onto the
dirt, howling in pain. His buddies return fire.
JANE (V.O.): Loud mouth lost a leg and hit the dirt, his buddies returned fire but
the rider outside was faster.
Jane (V.O): I took my shot then, getting one in the butt before taking cover from
return fire.
Sounds: Gun battle & horse galloping.
JANE (V.O): The rider kept galloping in circles, herding and shooting the
low-lifes.
JANE (V.O): Guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised when I recognized the cavalry’s emblem.
SHERIFF (V.O.): Captain O’Rourke came to your rescue?
JANE (V.O.): Captain was nowhere to be found. But the rider who came to my rescue
was about to meet his end. One of the wounded outlaws had him in his
cross-hairs.
Sounds: Jane’s cannon of a gunshot.
Sounds: A man’s screech and panic.
JANE (V.O.): I blew the outlaw’s hand clean off. The rider was safe, but--
ELICK: Look out!
Sounds: Elick tackles Jane away from the explosion.
JANE (V.O.): The barrels exploded right where my head’s been. The rider took care of
my would-be assassin. I thanked him with a swift kick.
Sounds: Jane Kicks Elick off of her.
JANE: Back off!
ELICK(pained): Hold on now...
JANE: Come any closer and we’ll have more than this pistol between us.
JANE (V.O.): First time I laid eyes on my saviour. Lieutenant by the rank of
him. 5th Cavalry.
SHERIFF (V.O.): He just ‘happened’ to run into you?
JANE (V.O.): Like a moth to a flame. Never seen him before in my life.
ELICK(in pain): Janie? It’s me. Damn, you still got a good kick!
JANE (cautiously relieved): Elick?
ELICK (joking): There can only be one. They’re happy and embrace as friends.
JANE: Jesus, you look a sight. Captain will be happy to see you.
ELICK: Captain?
JANE: O’Rourke. He’s back in the city looking for his horse or whatnot.
ELICK: Actually... O’Rourke’s dead.
JANE: You kidding? I saw him back at the saloon, he’s alive and looking for
you all.
ELICK: No. He was gunned down right in front of me during an ambush. He’s
been dead about a month.
Sound: Jane whistles for a horse, mounts and takes off.
ELICK (CONT’D): Hey! Jane wait that’s my horse!
SHERIFF (V.O.): So you returned to the saloon. On a stolen horse.
JANE (V.O.): Try & see the bigger picture here, Sheriff. We were due to leave that
morning. I didn’t have much time to look for the Captain. My sanity and
job was on the line.
SHERIFF (V.O.): Job? Dante Cortez never paid you a
dime.
JANE (V.O.): He did when he wanted things done
right.
Location: EXT. OUTSIDE RUSTABOUT SALOON: SIOUX CITY - DAY
DANTE: Finally! Calamity, where the hell
you been?
JANE: Good to see you too, boss.
DANTE: Last night’s gunshow scared my patrons. Marshals are crawling up my business.
JANE: Tell em’ the party-poopers are dead.
DANTE: You...killed them?
JANE: They attacked, I defended, rest’s history.
DANTE: Then explain that to the Marshals over there.
JANE: Hey, you seen a Cap--
Sounds: Faith beelines for Jane, nearly knocking her over in a tight hug.
FAITH: Jane! thank goodness. You’re alright?
JANE: Much better now, Faith.
DANTE: Hey, hey, save that for later. We need to get moving. Faith, I want
the whole troupe on the road by high noon!
FAITH: Ignore him. How you holding up? you didn’t come to bed and...is that
blood?
JANE: Not mine. I’m alright.
JANE(teasing): You worried I’d run off on you?
FAITH: Of course not. I know how much you like a good thing.
Sound: Jane laughs at that.
JANE: You’re damn right, Darling. Listen, last night do you remember who I spoke--?
DANTE (O.S.): Faith!
FAITH: He’s in a bad way today. Sorry. What were you saying?
JANE: Go, before boss man finds another leading lady.
FAITH: I’ll see you tonight. You still owe me answers!
JANE (light): That mean I’m forgiven for not coming to bed?
FAITH: Don’t push your luck. I’m just happy you ain’t dead.
Sounds: Faith gives Jane a quick peck on the cheek and runs off to help
the troupe.
INT. RUSTABOUT SALOON: SIOUX CITY - DAY
Sound: coins being stacked one by one.
JANE: You boys lost?
Sound: Coins stop being stacked, chairs scrape.
JANE (CONT’D): Uh-uh. Don’t move an inch.
AGENT SPENCE (amused): Easy, ma’am. We’re here on official
business.
JANE: Is that right? Well I’ve seen a few Marshals in my time. You two don’t
fit the bill.
AGENT SPENCE: Is it the beard?
AGENT SPENCE (to Henry Mills): It’s the beard ain’t it.
AGENT MILLS(gruff): It’s not your damn beard.
JANE: Step away from the coin.
AGENT SPENCE(lighthearted): We can’t do that. It’s evidence.
JANE: Evidence of what?
AGENT MILLS: Theft for one. This here was among the coin.
JANE (V.O.): He held up a faithful service medallion. Captain O’Rourke received one a while back but there was lots of military folk passing through our show.
SHERIFF (V.O.): Did he have it the night before?
JANE (V.O.): I couldn’t remember. But I knew Marshals wouldn’t be counting coins.
Sound: Jane fires a warning shot right before Spence’s foot.
AGENT MILLS(annoyed): I lost my count!
JANE: That’s my final warning. Step away.
AGENT SPENCE: Either that or you’re a lousy shot.
Mills was mumbling in the background trying to keep his
count, but loses it.
Sound: Dante scrambles in from the doors.
DANTE: Jane, what the hell you doing?
JANE: Stopping em’ from helping themselves to your coin. Get back, Dante.
DANTE: You crazy? I don’t need you shooting Marshals.
JANE: These men ain’t Marshals.
JANE: (to the agents) What did you do to the Captain?
AGENT MILLS: Which Captain might that be?
JANE: Don’t play dumb with me.
DANTE: Look gentlemen, we have no trouble here. Please take your cut and
leave us in peace.
AGENT SPENCE: Your lady-friend is right, Mr.Cortez and we’re so grateful for your offer. Makes our job easier.
DANTE: I don’t understand...
AGENT SPENCE: You just bribed agents of the
secret service.
AGENT MILLS: With counterfeit coin no less.
He drops the bag at Dante’s feet with a thud.
DANTE (shock): No. There must be some mistake.
Jane?
JANE: Secret service? why the cloak and
dagger?
AGENT SPENCE: Let’s just say we like to keep
things secret.
JANE: Well it’s no secret that medallion
belongs to a Captain I know. He was
here last night, he can vouch for a
clean show. No counterfeiting or
theft on my watch.
AGENT SPENCE: And what exactly do you do for this
theatre troupe, miss...?
JANE: Calamity Jane. You can say I keep the peace. Fake money ain’t how we
do business.
AGENT MILLS: The national mint was robbed a few months back, now we’re seeing
counterfeit currency flooding the market.
AGENT MILLS (CONT'D: We’ll need to speak with this Captain of yours and all other
patrons of this establishment.
JANE: Then help me find him.
JANE (V.O.): I searched high and low, every room
at the saloon. No Captain.
SHERIFF (V.O.): He wouldn’t stay at the saloon if
he were trying to lay low.
JANE (V.O.): You clearly ain’t met O’Rourke.
ROLAND: Of course, where there’s guns
there’s trouble and you. How are
you feeling Jane?
JANE: You seen a captain last night? I
drank with him before leaving.
ROLAND: No. Was he your secret admirer?
JANE: No. And it turns out some think
he’s dead.
ROLAND: Wouldn’t be the first patron to die
at our show. What’s happening with Dante over there?
JANE: Money. Don’t ask. I just need to find the Captain. He might still be
in Sioux City.
ROLAND: You leaving us?
JANE(playful): I’d never leave your booze, Roland.
Tell the Captain to wait for me if
he comes back before we head out.
ROLAND (laughs): I’ll do that.
ELICK: Hey horse thief.
JANE: Not now, Lieutenant. I’m in a hurry. Your horse is up front.
ELICK: If you’re off to check the brothels don’t bother.
JANE: Thought you said the Captain’s
dead?
ELICK: Maybe a part of me wanted to believe he wasn’t. But I know what
I saw in that ambush. He’s dead.
JANE: Well, secret service boys found his
Medallion inside.
ELICK: Any number of ways it could’ve
ended up there, Janie.
JANE: What about his horse?
ELICK: Danger?
Elick (laughs): You plan to steal him too?
JANE: He told me something important was on that horse. You know what it is?
ELICK: Of course, battle plans for General Miles’ campaign. That’s what I’m
here for.
SHERIFF (V.O.): Stop.
JANE (V.O.): Make up your damn mind, Sheriff. You want to hear this story or not?
SHERIFF (V.O.) I’m not looking for a story, I want the truth. There’s no way either of
you simply wished to find a horse. It was carrying something.
JANE (V.O.): I thought that was obvious?
SHERIFF (V.O.)(warning):Jane.
JANE (V.O.): Gold. You happy now?
Sound: Retreating bootsteps.
JANE (V.O.): Leaving already?
SHERIFF (V.O.): I am when you’re lying to me.
JANE (V.O.): Oh come on don’t be like that. You’re one who wanted to know.
Sound: Sheriff walks out and slams the door.
Credits read by Nathan Sager