The Undeniable Level Up | Fake It Til You Make

Show Notes

And we're back with Season 2, Episode Four of the Undeniable Level Up Podcast.  For those who missed our last episode, we discussed Embracing the Suck, where Professor Minh Nguyen, a 3rd Degree Taekwondo and a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Black Belt discussed how he learned to embrace the suck in his pursuit of not only mastering one, but two martial arts, and how he continues to do this as the owner of Aspire Brazilian Jiu Jitsu School, an affiliate of the Pablo Silva Brazilian Jiu Jitsu school, where Crystal and I both train and compete.

 

In life, you'll find that not everything is going to go according to plan.  The reality is that shit happens. The plan you had at 15 is not the plan you have at 21, and it is not going to be the plan that you have at 30.  Why?  Because shit happens.  The one definite thing you can depend on is that shit is going to happen.  And when it does, your success depends 100% on how you pivot from that thing that has derailed you.

 

This is where most people fail.  Your inability to side step a challenge, your inability to get passed a road block, your inability to overcome an obstacle, derails you in a way where you find yourself spiraling, making bad decision after bad decision, until you finally hit rock bottom.  But this doesn't have to be your story.

 

So, you lost job? Okay, time to find a new opportunity. A side hustle.  Oh, your car got repossessed? Okay, time to learn public transportation and find out who your real friends are.  Damn, your home got foreclosed on, okay, time to find a roommate.  None of this changes the fact that it's not time to stop and lick your wounds.  It's not time to cry about what could have been and it's not time to whine about it.  It's time to side step, pivot in a new direction and keep it moving.

 

In some instances, especially when something catastrophic happens you can find yourself needing to pivot into a role that you are unfamiliar with.  And when this happens, you will need to fake it 'til you make it.  That doesn't mean lie on your resume.  It doesn't mean, pretend you're something that you are not.  It doesn't mean, apply for a job you're not qualified for.  What it does mean, is figure out what you need to be successful in this new position you find yourself in, and do what you need to do to become successful.

 

This might mean that you need to learn a new skill, like carpentry or welding.  And although you may be 40 years old and just graduated from welding school, you need to fake the confidence of a 20 year veteran welder when you apply for that new welding position, until being a veteran welder becomes your reality.

 

Maybe you just left the military and you're looking for a corporate executive job.  Fake it 'til you make it, means dress the part, speak the lingo, exude the confidence of a corporate executive, until it becomes your reality.  

 

Maybe you just got out of prison where you spent the last 8 - 10 years paying your dues to society and now your looking for a way to provide for your family.  Fake it 'til you make it means, developing the job skills necessary to create a career, find a mentor who can teach you a path and learn as much as you can, take every opportunity given and do the job assigned to you better than everyone around you, until you are so fucking undeniable in your skillset that being the best is your reality. 

 

Today we are here to discuss how to Fake it Until You Make, and we have a special guest and a very good friend of ours.  AJ Franco.  For those of you meeting AJ for the very first time, AJ is a Supply Chain leader and executive currently residing and working in Northern CA where he leads a Fortune 500 grocery distribution center.  AJ is no stranger to the concept of faking it until you make it and has had his fair share of "shit happening".

 

Paulo Coelho has been quoted as saying "You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent."

 
Does Paulo's approach to faking it seem dishonest or sneaky?

 

When we discuss the act of faking it, what we are truly focusing on is your ability to be confident in an environment where you lack confidence.  We have all been in a situation where we have found ourselves under-prepared and not fully confident in either our preparation, our capabilities, or our knowledge.  When we do find our selves in these types of situations, it important to find that confidence intrinsically.  So when should you not fake it?

• When you lack knowledge or credentials to perform a job
• When you are required to be deceitful or dishonest.
• If you are creating a visual representation of success that is beyond your financial situation
• If you are creating an environment that will be unsafe or dangerous

  Have you ever faked it when you shouldn't have?  How did that work out?  What did you learn from it?

 

Confidence impacts the way others view you.  The way others interact with you and it impacts the way you see yourself.  You are capable of manipulating your brain to think of yourself as more confident.  This rewiring can have a long lasting impact and become second nature for you as you become more and more confident.  We are going to provide you with the 15 ways to level up your confidence so that you too can fake it until you make it. 

 

Has a lack of confidence ever held you back from achieving a goal or accomplishing an objective?

 

The first method is one of my go-to favorites.  Its Power Posing.  You get the opportunity to harness one of your super heroes!  Using positive and empowering body language, like power posing, you are able to get over your fears and stressors.  This can happen when you find yourself in a new and an uncertain environment.  It is a great way to exude and boost confidence.  

 

Power posing was made popular after Amy Cuddy, a Social Psychologist who conducted a Ted Talk where she shared scientific evidence that substantiated that power posing can build confidence and enhance self esteem.  Although today, some psychologist have challenged Amy's findings, they all agree that there is an impact on a person mentally, even if physiologically, there is not much of a change.

 

The second is doing something that you are great at.  It is possible that there will be times in your life when your confidence will waiver of dip.  This happens when you're underprepared for meeting, or you get caught off guard by a question.  Don't allow that uncomfortable feeling to linger longer than it has too.  Go and do something that you are great at and remind yourself that although you don't have the answer to every question, you are good at a lot of things.

 

Have you been in a situation where you lost confidence and how did you recover from it?  What caused the confidence loss?  

 

Thirdly,  is maintain eye contact.  It is a dead giveaway that your confidence is lacking when you have difficulty making or maintaining eye contact.  If maintaining direct eye contact begins to make you uncomfortable or uneasy, a good method to fake it, is to focus on the person's nose or mouth instead.  This gives the impression that you are still engaged and focused.

 

The fourth is manage voice projection, intensity and speed.  A lot can be determined from how you speak and communicate.  Someone who is mumbling or speaking softly will come across as not confident.  When you are feeling like your confidence level is not where it should be, try projecting your voice more.  Also speak slower.  Speaking fast is a telltale sign that you are nervous and lack confidence.  Remind yourself that what you are saying is important and value added.  This will also help reduce the number of filler words you might use when speaking faster than your brain can formulate your ideas, and also help reduce any accidental stuttering.

 

How do you communicate in order to display confidence in that communication?  Have you had challenges here?  

 

The fifth way is dress to impress.  You should always dress for the job that you want not the job that you have when it's practical of course.  You're not going to wear a suit to pick up trash on the highway, but you should take your wardrobe selection serious and wear appropriate fitting clothes.  Wear clothes that make you feel confident.  Clothes that make you look good and feel good.

 

How have you followed this philosophy of "dressing to impress?"  Has this been successful for you?

 

Sixth way is to remember to smile.  People associate a smile with friendliness and positivity.  It makes you approachable and believe it or not, smiling has a positive physiological change.  Frowning on the other hand has the exact opposite impact.

 

Seventh, listen to motivational and uplifting music.  This can include songs that pump you up, or speeches with positive affirmations. This is a great way to put your "symbolic armor" on!

 

How have you used music or positive affirmations to motivate and drive up your confidence?

 

Eighth, practice deep breathing or meditation.  This a great way to calm your mind, control your anxiety and focus on being present.  When doing this try to clear your mind and be present by focusing on your breathes entering your lungs and processing throughout your entire body.  When noise starts seeping into your mind, quiet it again by focusing on being present.

 
How do you work on being present and controlling your energy in moments of high stress, discomfort or lack of confidence?

 

Ninth, loosen up.  You don't want to be too relaxed especially in a professional environment or setting, but being too tense or rigid can be a sign of no confidence.  Ensure you are not clenching your jaw or pulling your shoulders back.   Being tensed can be a sign of anxiety.

 

Tenth, be a good listener.  Being a good listener means you are actively listening.  When someone is speaking, you are making direct eye contact, leaning forward and providing responses to indicate that you are listening.  

 

How do you actively listen?  How do you do that in a tense of challenging environment?  

 

Eleventh, document your victories. Journaling or keeping a diary is a great way to remind yourself of all of your accomplishments.  It allows you to document goals and achievements.

 

Do you keep a journal? Does it help?

 

Twelfth, act as the most qualified person in the room.  If you have the answer to a question, share it.  If you have something to share, then share it.  Ensure that those around you are able to benefit from your knowledge and experience.  Remind yourself that you are value-added to the discussion.  At the same time, if there is something that you don't know, then search for the answer so next time you will be better prepared to answer a question.

 

How have you acted like the most qualified person in the room?

 

Thirteenth, redirect attention in uncomfortable settings by asking questions of others.  Redircting attention away from yourself, pulls you out of the limelight and places focus on others.  It also allows you to learn more about others and build connections.

 

Fourteenth, learn to accept compliments.  Shunning or downplaying your compliments can be a sign of low self esteem and lack of confidence.  Learn to say thank you.  Never deflect a compliment to someone else.

 

How do you deal with compliments?  

 

Fifteenth, learn to love the process.  Do not look at failure as a destination, or a binary act.  Failure is an opportunity to learn and grow,  Embrace a growth mindset and learn from your failures so that you are always slef improving and becoming better today than you were yesterday.  Take calculated risks with the understanding that there will be some failures and that your plan will be to learn from them.

 

How have you learned to love the process?

 

Amy Cuddy says, "Don't fake it till you make.  Fake it till you become it."

 

What is the difference between faking it until you make and faking it until you become it?

 

People, its time to level up. If you're in a situation where you are having to fake it until you make, whether that's in a new job, in school, on a sports team or in a new relationship, then I encourage you to purchase the book, 'How to Fake It Til You Make It', by Shontavvia Shropshire and Kay Young.  This book will provide great examples on HOW to fake it til you make.

 

Let's stop allowing a new environment, or a change in our situation to slow us down from achieving  our goals when working towards our objectives.  Let's begin to work internally on our confidence so that we can bring our best selves to the fight every time.  Whether that fight is in the boardroom, the warehouse floor, the classroom or in a relationship.  Learning when and how to fake it till you make will help boost your confidence, your knowledge and your expertise so that you can achieve success where others may struggle. It's time to level up how we transform ourselves into what we need to become in order to succeed.  Take a step to living a life without limits, a life where anything is possible.   

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Creators & Guests

Host

Jose Medina

What is The Undeniable Level Up ?

A personal and professional podcast focused on the development of leaders, entrepreneurs and business.

And we're back with Season 2, Episode Four of the Undeniable Level Up Podcast. For those who missed our last episode, we discussed Embracing the Suck, where Professor Minh Nguyen, a 3rd Degree Taekwondo and a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Black Belt discussed how he learned to embrace the suck in his pursuit of not only mastering one, but two martial arts, and how he continues to do this as the owner of Aspire Brazilian Jiu Jitsu School, an affiliate of the Pablo Silva Brazilian Jiu Jitsu school, where Crystal and I both train and compete.

In life, you'll find that not everything is going to go according to plan. The reality is that shit happens. The plan you had at 15 is not the plan you have at 21, and it is not going to be the plan that you have at 30. Why? Because shit happens. The one definite thing you can depend on is that shit is going to happen. And when it does, your success depends 100% on how you pivot from that thing that has derailed you.

This is where most people fail. Your inability to side step a challenge, your inability to get passed a road block, your inability to overcome an obstacle, derails you in a way where you find yourself spiraling, making bad decision after bad decision, until you finally hit rock bottom. But this doesn't have to be your story.

So, you lost job? Okay, time to find a new opportunity. A side hustle. Oh, your car got repossessed? Okay, time to learn public transportation and find out who your real friends are. Damn, your home got foreclosed on, okay, time to find a roommate. None of this changes the fact that it's not time to stop and lick your wounds. It's not time to cry about what could have been and it's not time to whine about it. It's time to side step, pivot in a new direction and keep it moving.

In some instances, especially when something catastrophic happens you can find yourself needing to pivot into a role that you are unfamiliar with. And when this happens, you will need to fake it 'til you make it. That doesn't mean lie on your resume. It doesn't mean, pretend you're something that you are not. It doesn't mean, apply for a job you're not qualified for. What it does mean, is figure out what you need to be successful in this new position you find yourself in, and do what you need to do to become successful.

This might mean that you need to learn a new skill, like carpentry or welding. And although you may be 40 years old and just graduated from welding school, you need to fake the confidence of a 20 year veteran welder when you apply for that new welding position, until being a veteran welder becomes your reality.

Maybe you just left the military and you're looking for a corporate executive job. Fake it 'til you make it, means dress the part, speak the lingo, exude the confidence of a corporate executive, until it becomes your reality.

Maybe you just got out of prison where you spent the last 8 - 10 years paying your dues to society and now your looking for a way to provide for your family. Fake it 'til you make it means, developing the job skills necessary to create a career, find a mentor who can teach you a path and learn as much as you can, take every opportunity given and do the job assigned to you better than everyone around you, until you are so fucking undeniable in your skillset that being the best is your reality.

Today we are here to discuss how to Fake it Until You Make, and we have a special guest and a very good friend of ours. AJ Franco. For those of you meeting AJ for the very first time, AJ is a Supply Chain leader and executive currently residing and working in Northern CA where he leads a Fortune 500 grocery distribution center. AJ is no stranger to the concept of faking it until you make it and has had his fair share of "shit happening".

Paulo Coelho has been quoted as saying "You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent."

Does Paulo's approach to faking it seem dishonest or sneaky?

When we discuss the act of faking it, what we are truly focusing on is your ability to be confident in an environment where you lack confidence. We have all been in a situation where we have found ourselves under-prepared and not fully confident in either our preparation, our capabilities, or our knowledge. When we do find our selves in these types of situations, it important to find that confidence intrinsically. So when should you not fake it?
When you lack knowledge or credentials to perform a job
When you are required to be deceitful or dishonest.
If you are creating a visual representation of success that is beyond your financial situation
If you are creating an environment that will be unsafe or dangerous
Have you ever faked it when you shouldn't have? How did that work out? What did you learn from it?

Confidence impacts the way others view you. The way others interact with you and it impacts the way you see yourself. You are capable of manipulating your brain to think of yourself as more confident. This rewiring can have a long lasting impact and become second nature for you as you become more and more confident. We are going to provide you with the 15 ways to level up your confidence so that you too can fake it until you make it.

Has a lack of confidence ever held you back from achieving a goal or accomplishing an objective?

The first method is one of my go-to favorites. Its Power Posing. You get the opportunity to harness one of your super heroes! Using positive and empowering body language, like power posing, you are able to get over your fears and stressors. This can happen when you find yourself in a new and an uncertain environment. It is a great way to exude and boost confidence.

Power posing was made popular after Amy Cuddy, a Social Psychologist who conducted a Ted Talk where she shared scientific evidence that substantiated that power posing can build confidence and enhance self esteem. Although today, some psychologist have challenged Amy's findings, they all agree that there is an impact on a person mentally, even if physiologically, there is not much of a change.

The second is doing something that you are great at. It is possible that there will be times in your life when your confidence will waiver of dip. This happens when you're underprepared for meeting, or you get caught off guard by a question. Don't allow that uncomfortable feeling to linger longer than it has too. Go and do something that you are great at and remind yourself that although you don't have the answer to every question, you are good at a lot of things.

Have you been in a situation where you lost confidence and how did you recover from it? What caused the confidence loss?

Thirdly, is maintain eye contact. It is a dead giveaway that your confidence is lacking when you have difficulty making or maintaining eye contact. If maintaining direct eye contact begins to make you uncomfortable or uneasy, a good method to fake it, is to focus on the person's nose or mouth instead. This gives the impression that you are still engaged and focused.

The fourth is manage voice projection, intensity and speed. A lot can be determined from how you speak and communicate. Someone who is mumbling or speaking softly will come across as not confident. When you are feeling like your confidence level is not where it should be, try projecting your voice more. Also speak slower. Speaking fast is a telltale sign that you are nervous and lack confidence. Remind yourself that what you are saying is important and value added. This will also help reduce the number of filler words you might use when speaking faster than your brain can formulate your ideas, and also help reduce any accidental stuttering.

How do you communicate in order to display confidence in that communication? Have you had challenges here?

The fifth way is dress to impress. You should always dress for the job that you want not the job that you have when it's practical of course. You're not going to wear a suit to pick up trash on the highway, but you should take your wardrobe selection serious and wear appropriate fitting clothes. Wear clothes that make you feel confident. Clothes that make you look good and feel good.

How have you followed this philosophy of "dressing to impress?" Has this been successful for you?

Sixth way is to remember to smile. People associate a smile with friendliness and positivity. It makes you approachable and believe it or not, smiling has a positive physiological change. Frowning on the other hand has the exact opposite impact.

Seventh, listen to motivational and uplifting music. This can include songs that pump you up, or speeches with positive affirmations. This is a great way to put your "symbolic armor" on!

How have you used music or positive affirmations to motivate and drive up your confidence?

Eighth, practice deep breathing or meditation. This a great way to calm your mind, control your anxiety and focus on being present. When doing this try to clear your mind and be present by focusing on your breathes entering your lungs and processing throughout your entire body. When noise starts seeping into your mind, quiet it again by focusing on being present.

How do you work on being present and controlling your energy in moments of high stress, discomfort or lack of confidence?

Ninth, loosen up. You don't want to be too relaxed especially in a professional environment or setting, but being too tense or rigid can be a sign of no confidence. Ensure you are not clenching your jaw or pulling your shoulders back. Being tensed can be a sign of anxiety.

Tenth, be a good listener. Being a good listener means you are actively listening. When someone is speaking, you are making direct eye contact, leaning forward and providing responses to indicate that you are listening.

How do you actively listen? How do you do that in a tense of challenging environment?

Eleventh, document your victories. Journaling or keeping a diary is a great way to remind yourself of all of your accomplishments. It allows you to document goals and achievements.

Do you keep a journal? Does it help?

Twelfth, act as the most qualified person in the room. If you have the answer to a question, share it. If you have something to share, then share it. Ensure that those around you are able to benefit from your knowledge and experience. Remind yourself that you are value-added to the discussion. At the same time, if there is something that you don't know, then search for the answer so next time you will be better prepared to answer a question.

How have you acted like the most qualified person in the room?

Thirteenth, redirect attention in uncomfortable settings by asking questions of others. Redircting attention away from yourself, pulls you out of the limelight and places focus on others. It also allows you to learn more about others and build connections.

Fourteenth, learn to accept compliments. Shunning or downplaying your compliments can be a sign of low self esteem and lack of confidence. Learn to say thank you. Never deflect a compliment to someone else.

How do you deal with compliments?

Fifteenth, learn to love the process. Do not look at failure as a destination, or a binary act. Failure is an opportunity to learn and grow, Embrace a growth mindset and learn from your failures so that you are always slef improving and becoming better today than you were yesterday. Take calculated risks with the understanding that there will be some failures and that your plan will be to learn from them.

How have you learned to love the process?

Amy Cuddy says, "Don't fake it till you make. Fake it till you become it."

What is the difference between faking it until you make and faking it until you become it?

People, its time to level up. If you're in a situation where you are having to fake it until you make, whether that's in a new job, in school, on a sports team or in a new relationship, then I encourage you to purchase the book, 'How to Fake It Til You Make It', by Shontavvia Shropshire and Kay Young. This book will provide great examples on HOW to fake it til you make.

Let's stop allowing a new environment, or a change in our situation to slow us down from achieving our goals when working towards our objectives. Let's begin to work internally on our confidence so that we can bring our best selves to the fight every time. Whether that fight is in the boardroom, the warehouse floor, the classroom or in a relationship. Learning when and how to fake it till you make will help boost your confidence, your knowledge and your expertise so that you can achieve success where others may struggle. It's time to level up how we transform ourselves into what we need to become in order to succeed. Take a step to living a life without limits, a life where anything is possible.