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What if you could get more of what you want in life? But not through pushing, forcing, or pressure.
You can.
When it comes to money, time, and energy, no one’s gonna turn away more.
And Kate Northrup, Bestselling Author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and host of Plenty, is here to help you expand your capacity to receive all of the best.
As a Money Empowerment OG who’s been at it for nearly 2 decades, Kate’s the abundance-oriented best friend you may not even know you’ve always needed.
Pull up a chair every week with top thought leaders, luminaries, and adventurers to learn how to have more abundance with ease.
Hi, welcome to Plenty. I am so excited to introduce you to today's guest. Her name is Avi Kumar. She is the author of Say It Out Loud, using The Power of Your Voice to listen to your deepest thoughts and Courageously Pursue Your Dreams. Her work has been featured on NBC, wall Street Journal and more. She's an mc. She's a speaker.
She's a voiceover artist. She is a therapist. She's a coach. She's also a trained wedding officiant, which you're gonna hear about all I I, I just love this woman. She is so funny. She's so honest. She really keeps it real about her sex life in this episode about some of the struggles she's gone through in the past with addiction,
struggling with mental health issues and bipolar being in and outta rehab twice. How she overcame that, what she did about it to get her the life that she really loves now, which is extraordinary. She has become a real estate investor and she has a really unique methodology that she talks about in the book and that we talk about quite a bit and why it works so well,
which is about using the tool of saying things out loud. Now, as I said, I was doubtful at first. I was like, I don't know if this is going to be effective, but listen into the episode, listen to these tools, and start practicing them because they may very well just like they have for me, add an added element of power to the healing and growth work that you're already doing in your life and accelerate your results.
So I am so excited to introduce you to VAs Kumar. Enjoy the episode. Welcome. Yeah, well thanks for being here. I am so happy to have flown in from Austin, Texas, just to be next to you. I am Honored To hold hands. Yes. So good. Okay, so we met like a very long time ago at World Domination Summit.
Isn't that where we met for the first time? Yeah. I was actually roomies with Selena Sue, who's a mutual friend. Yes. That's the first time Selena saw and I actually became friends. We were roommates. Oh my God, I saw you sitting with Mike. Yes. He was not your husband at the Time. He was not my husband at the time,
and I was Such a fan of you. And I came over and I was like, hi Kate. My name is Vae. And I was just, I introduced myself to you. Yeah, I love That. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then we connected. You came on and recorded one of my money love stories when I was promoting.
Yes. My first book, money Love Story. And then we just have, yeah. Stayed in touch over the years, which has been so much fun. And you published your first book this year? I did. Which is a really big deal. Thank you. Say it out loud. Yes. You've done a lot of personal growth. You've been through a lot mental health journey,
addiction journey, all sorts of really beautiful work that you've done. Thank you. At what point along the way did it occur to you that you should do any of it out loud alone? 'cause of course we do work out loud with an A therapist or in GR all the time. But like what occurred? How did that happen? How did that occur to you?
So I actually started to talk to myself out loud. Yeah. When I was 19 years old, I was diagnosed with my polar disorder. Yeah. And I had a lot of mania. And so I had a lot of racing thoughts. And I remember I was driving on the Long Island Expressway and I was like, okay, I can slow down my thoughts if I just say them out loud one by one.
Wow. Because they all were coming so fast. My brain works very quickly. Yeah. It's slowed down now because I am on medication and I feel much more regulated having been on medication now for about six months. But I just started to say each of these thoughts out loud, and I started to make sense outta the voices in my head. And I realized I could,
I could organize the thoughts in my mind by getting them out my head and out loud so I could hear them. Yes. And then by doing that, I could say, well, this thought is not relevant right now. This thought is not urgent right now. This can be filed somewhere else. So I started this, you know, 21 years ago.
That's amazing. Yeah. And you just started it. I just started. You just, I had to, you Just started it one day. You just started doing it learn. No one told you learn. No. Do this stuff out loud. No. Yeah. And honestly. Okay. So like, yes. Louise Hay, you know, talks about mirror work,
well talked, you know, may she rest in peace. Yeah. Lulu. So she talked about like, you know, saying, I love you in the mirror. And certainly like talking out loud with that Regina mama, Gina has talked about this process called spring cleaning. And you can spring clean by yourself, but you are really the only person that I know of who has like an entire methodology about doing self-healing work out loud.
Thank you. And it's pretty, I mean, it's very different. It's, and I was, I will be perfectly honest with you, I was like, okay, I don't know if this is for me. Yeah. But I've been trying a little bit. Okay. And I really like it. And one thing I've been doing every morning that you suggest in the book is to say thank you out loud every morning when you wake up.
Yeah. And I've been doing it and it feels great. So thank you for That. You're welcome. I just think we have to remember to say thank you to be alive another day. Yeah. Well, I always would say it in my head. Yes. Always. Yeah. I would wake up and in fact, you were, you mentioned Deb Kern before we started recording.
Yeah. And she has this song that she often plays in dance classes. You might remember it. It's ortant for me that my mind stays organized and clear. I have a mission on this planet. I want to be able to fulfill my purpose, whatever that is, in whatever season I need to stay clear and I need to stay calm when I keep all these thoughts in my head.
And I have lots of them, I have thoughts from the past, I have worries of the future, I have anxieties of the present, and I'm like, what am I, you know, I have to say it out loud so I can declutter my mind. The other thing is, it's very easy for me to lie to myself. I can easily just stay in denial.
As someone who was in denial about her cocaine addiction, I mean, I, I had, I, I always say I never had a rock bottom. I had a high bottom because I didn't really lose it all. I, I was in a lot of denial, even with my addiction. And so for me, it's really important that I say my thoughts out loud because once you actually hear yourself saying it,
you can't unhear it. You cannot lie to yourself when you say it out loud. So for me, it keeps me honest. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. And, and it's a way to, you know, have you ever read The Untethered Soul? Yes. Okay. I have. Not in all honesty, but I love that you're asking, Just saying,
I did read the Surrender Experiment, which is about, did you read the Surrender Experiment? No. No. Okay. Also by Mickey Singer, I highly recommend, but it's about the story of what happened in his, in his life leading up to the publication of the Untethered Soul. And afterwards. But anyway, in a lot of his work, he talks about the witness consciousness and how it's like we have our,
you know, we are consciousness and we have our ability to witness our thoughts. And that's very tricky to do when you're inside your head and both you are just thinker, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the witness consciousness are in there at the same time. But like, I, you know, it's like,
oh, hello. Just say the thoughts out loud, and then it's very easy to separate the witness consciousness from the thoughts. Yes, that's exactly right. I mean, like, when, when I am in my head, when I have a tendency to be an overthinker, I can overthink the hell outta anything. When I say the thing out loud,
then I have my wise consciousness come in and be like, no, no, no, that's not right. Or like, no, that's not good for you VAs. You don't want to do that. I often talk to myself, and You'll have a dual conversation. I Will have a dual conversation out loud, because there's the ego part of me that's like,
you know, very resistant or very attached to doing something a certain way. But then my God consciousness comes in and it's like, no, it's much more calm. It's much more serene, much more reliable, I would say, than the thoughts in my head that just want to keep convincing me otherwise. And did you ever find, were you ever a journaler?
I've never really been a journaler. You're not a journaler. So that way doesn't work for you. Because some people find that they can access sort of that witness consciousness through journaling and like Yeah. Hear themselves and witness themselves in a different way. So I actually verbally journal. So Yeah. So totally. It's like, how am I feeling today? Well,
today I am, you know, hot little tired. I've been up early in the morning, I'm feeling relaxed, little anxious right now, you know, and I'm, and then I'm hearing myself saying this, and I'm like, well, why do you feel a little uneasy? I can actually have a conversation with myself. It's So great. It is Weird though.
It's so great for self-awareness.like, thank you for this day. Yeah, Sue, thank you for this day. So often I sing that song in my head in the morning, but I had never said it out loud. And it really is different. So tell me about what you know about the brain and consciousness and why it matters to say something verbally versus inside your mind silently.
So for me personally, as someone who has a barrage of thoughts at any given time, it's really important. Yeah. It's super weird. And I love it. I love it so much. No, there's so much in here that I didn't, you know, I've been around in this space for a long time. I will be honest. Yeah. It's rare for somebody to do something that's different. Yeah. It's so refreshing to read a book that's different.
Thank you. So, yeah, thank you for writing it. Yeah. Thank you for digging a little, little deeper and like coming up with something. I swear I'm not bonkers. Totally New. No, you're not bonkers at all. Yeah, Yeah, yeah. Who knows? Very smart, actually. Yeah. Okay. I wanna talk about your relationship with surrender.
Okay. And I think that there's a misunderstanding we have in our culture around surrender. And you are very ambitious. You're very smart, very successful, thank you. And come from a pretty hardworking family, it seems. Yes. My parents are immigrants from India. My mom is now a retired cardiologist. My father was a CPA. They both were in private practice.
Yeah. And they both did very well for themselves. Yeah. Yeah. Was there, was there pressure for you growing up around success? Yeah, it wasn't just success in terms of like money and career. It was more of just how to be, there was a lot of pressure on how we should be as Hindu women, Hindu braman women. Our family's the highest in the caste system.
We're braman and we have a certain elitist attitude to us, which I'm not proud of. But with that comes a lot of pressure of how we should and shouldn't be. And I still have to dismantle a lot of it. I mean, I'm still working through it. There are still things that I'm like, am I allowed to do this as an Indian woman?
You know? So I'm still working through that. Yeah. It's, it's, it's an everyday, it's an everyday unlearning. I think that's so true. Yeah. For so many of us, for a variety of reasons. Yeah. Is there anything in particular right now that you're like, I know for me right now, I'm really working with my good girl conditioning and really unlearning,
like, so many of the things that I thought just were Yeah. In terms of like, what is right and what is wrong, and it's wild to be, you know, 40 and being like, whoa, like, that's just conditioning. Like, that's not me. Is there anything in particular that you're just like actively chewing on around that kind of conditioning for you of what it means to be a Hindu braman woman?
If you really wanna know? Yeah, I do. I haven't had sex since August, and I'm a very sexual person. And I've been working through the guilt slash shame of the fact that like, I need to have sex, like with somebody. Yeah. Not just anybody though. Right. Like, I need probably, and I can hear my mother's voice in my head saying like,
just, just work. Like, why are you, why do you care so much about sex? Like, Hmm. Like, what is that? Like, that kind of disdain. Even when I was seven years old, my mother caught me masturbating. And she said to me, don't masturbate. Like, just study, like focus on studying, focus on studying.
You know, like, just, just don't do that. You know? Of course I didn't listen to her because I love my pleasure. Right. But yeah, now I'm just kind of like, man, I'm, I'm like ready for a relationship. I know I want that, you know? So yeah. I'm just working through the fact that I do wanna be married again.
Yeah. I do want to be in a relationship with somebody, you know, and working through like, Novas, your point in life is not just to work all the time and be successful. That's great. You, I want the love, I want that. Yeah. But I could, you know, I don't have the pressure from my parents anymore to like get married and be settled down.
I have more of the, well, you're divorced now. You know what I mean? So just, you're just gonna be single. So just work. So, just work. I mean, I'm 41, I've never wanted children. So it's like, well, why do you need to be in a relationship then? Type of conversation internally is what I'm working through.
Ah-Huh. So you're talking to yourself about that out loud when it comes up. Yeah. I wanna have sex and I wanna be in a relationship, and I wanna feel all the things that you're, you know, past guest Ruthie Lindsay was talking about, she was talking about that kind of love that she's had. And I'm just like, it's a beautiful story,
beautiful story. I, I want that. Yeah. I want someone to look at me like that. So I'm owning that more in this season. Beautiful. And I can't wait to share my love out loud. Oh my God. I'm going to God. Oh, I can only imagine. Oh, yeah. What that would be like. I mean,
I'm only as a friend. Yeah. Like, I receive quite a bit of love from you. You're very generous. Thank you. With your verbal, like verbal Yes. Effusiveness. Yes. It's such a gift. Thank You so much. Yeah, Yeah, yeah. It's really Great. I just don't think we should withhold it if we see it and we feel it.
Like No, just like say it. Yeah. If you see something, say something. Yes, exactly. Yes. Not just about dangerous things. Right. But like, people know beauty about Love and about beauty. Yeah. Okay. So I got off track, but I was asking you about surrender, and you talked about in the book, surrender and Weakness and,
and like, our power. And so I think something that we misunderstand is that if we surrender, it's a sign of weakness and it's a way of giving away our power, or it's like a disconnection from our power. I would love to know what's been your experience in your journey, or at least the part you wrote about in the book, or feel free to talk about something else with needing to surrender and how that's helped you access something that trying to control things.
Didn't, I am brought to the story in 2019 when I had to go back to rehab for the second time. I'm gonna be five years sober in March, and congratulations. Thank you. And I remember just thinking, walking in there, being like, Ugh, I don't need to be here. Like, why am I in here? You know,
I was a former TV host. Like, I, you know, why, why am I here with all these people? And I remember my counselor, Carl was like, you clearly don't know what the hell you're doing because you're back here again for the second time in a matter of seven months. And I said to him, what do I have to do to never have to come back here again?
I'm never stepping foot in a rehab center ever again. And he said, work through all the steps. Go to all the AA meetings, work with your sponsor, do all the things. And I did. I did exactly what he told me to do. And I haven't touched cocaine in five years, so, wow. Yeah. And so I,
I had to surrender to the fact that, and it was very humbling for me to say, I don't know what I'm doing. Because if I knew what I was doing, if I would know how to manage my life, I would know. I, I, I, I would know how to deal with life in a better way instead of ending back up in rehab.
That by far, for me, like, that's why for me, if, if I don't have the answer to something, I don't try to force it. I let it go. And I say, God, give me somebody that's gonna help me. Somebody out there is gonna help me. And I trust that implicitly. Yeah. That's beautiful. Thanks.
And then you'll find them, they'll come through, they show up Always. Wow. Always. How long have you been practicing that? I'm gonna say five years now, because Okay. Up until that time, that Was the time. Up until that time, I was half-assing it. If I'm being completely honest, I would always say God is my number one.
But I'd always have a man who took the place of God always. I would always have my relationship being the place of God, or having a drug or, or alcohol or something, or, or money in the place of God. But for me now, I have like numeral uno relationship is no human being. It's gonna be my relationship with a God of my understanding.
Yeah. And you were raised Hindu. I was Raised Hindu, yes. Is that still a belief system that you're Yes. Okay. Great. Yeah. So that's like your understanding of God is in, in like part of your faith. Yes. And the ultimate like, understanding of being a Hindu, as my mother has always taught us, is in Sanskrit means I am that.
So we don't believe in a separation between us and God, we do believe we are God. Yeah. So that for me, she taught me that when I was four. Ugh. You know? So I just, yeah. I'm really, that's so beautiful. Yeah. And so when you were in your addiction, when you were in, you know,
your various struggles, and you know, also, I just wanna say this, in these moments of like having a conversation after someone's had a book come out. Yeah. I also feel like there's this illusion, which I wanna call out in this moment of like, the story ended somehow. Yeah. But I am fully aware that you wrote this book and then it came out,
and that was like, now it's kind of old news because now you're onto a different story. Yeah. So just knowing that, like, you know, I, I, I know that it's like the story of becoming, it's the story of evolution, and we're always like, working on something new. Yeah. But in that, were you in,
in like, specifically around addiction? Were you, did you remember what your mom had taught you? Did you remember? Like, was there, were there particular moments when you remembered like, oh yeah, I am God. Like, did you, you know what I mean? Not at first to This question. Make sense. No, it, it totally makes sense.
No, it totally makes sense. And I didn't remember at first. Yeah. I started to remember it. The more I learned how to love myself. So a lot of people don't know this, but when I got outta rehab, my mom financially took care of me for about six to seven months. She said, I don't want you to work.
Thank God. She's like, I don't want you to work. I just need you to learn how to love yourself. And I was like, wow. Yeah. That's what, so I'm, I'm very grateful. I'm very blessed. I googled, how do I love myself? I really didn't know. I thought I knew, None of us really knows.
And the first blog article that came up that had suggested to start hydrating in the morning, and that's what I did, I go, fine. That's actually a great suggestion. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, so we're gonna start from the very beginning, aren't we? So I started, I love it from the very beginning. And the more I started to pour that love into myself,
the more I started to feel expansive, the more I started to feel the God within me. So I did not remember that right away. I had to feel it more than I had to remember it, if that makes Sense. Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. And I love that hydration was one of your first steps,
because the truth is, loving ourselves is very, like, can be very basic and we can make anything an act of self love. Yes. It's all about the intention that we share. One of the things that I love that you share in the book is, is to say it out loud and speak to yourself with these different kind of voices. Yes.
With these different kind of personas. Can you talk about a few of your favorite personas Yeah. Or kinds of voices to use, and when you might use different ones? Yeah. So first of all, I am a voiceover artist. Yes. So I love to play with my voice. Yeah. I get paid to play with my voice. I have two specific voices.
One is when I'm faced with resistance, I call it the voice of gentle determination. I'm firm with myself, and I'm also very gentle with myself. So that may sound like, bafi, get your ass up. Let's go. You know, I know that that is coming from love, right? Yeah. Like, you have to speak to yourself in a way that works for you.
If I say to myself, get your butt up, I know that it's coming from a good place. The other one is a playful voice. So when I'm feeling anxious, like if I have a public speaking event, I have something coming up in a few days. I was super anxious about it, and I was just like rehearsing back and forth,
and I just stopped. And I was like, how can we have more fun with this public speaking event? Like, how can we have more fun with this keynote? And I just started playing with my voice, like how I was introducing myself, and stop being serious as a judge. Like, I was just, just trying to be more playful with myself.
So that may look like modulating your voice, modulating your pitch, your tempo, your volume, and yeah. You get to play with your voice. And that really can determine the action that you take or don't take. That is so cool. Yeah. So cool. Think about what we do with kids. When you're trying to convince your kids to do something,
you have to play with your voice. I mean, because they're not gonna always Look ideally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I was thinking, as you were saying about how could we do this more playfully, there's a, a parenting, you know, technique called play listening. And so with, there's two, and I don't remember who came up with these,
but one is stay listening, and one is play listening. So stay listening is like when your kid, their emotional cup is full and they need to dump it. And so it's really just like being there for their feelings. And when they're little, little, it's mostly just being there for the crying. Yeah. But as my kids have gotten older,
it's, it's more talking, some talk, some crying, and so it's stay listening. You're just like there for them to dump their emotional cup. Mm. But then there's also play listening and play listening is like, when they're having resistance, when they need to dump their emotional cup. It's like, it's like, what would happen if I did this?
Like a duck or whatever. Like, I mean, just like, that's right. Yeah. Like, like you said, like, if I'm gonna try to convince Ruby to get dressed in the morning, which is like a whole thing. I don't know. She's five and a half. She wants to pretend she can't get dressed. We all know she can dress herself.
She's been able to do it for years, but like, maybe tomorrow I'll ask her to do it like a duck inspired by you. Oh my God. I love that. And you have to let me know how it goes. I'll, but like, how can we make this more fun? How can we make this more playful? Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Yeah. So good. It doesn't have to be so heavy all this time. No. Okay. How did you become a voiceover artist? Oh, I mean, you obviously have the most incredible voice for it. So that part is Thank you. Thank you. That's a gift, but yeah. Yeah. Like, how'd that happen? So,
it happened after I got divorced. I got divorced 10 years ago, and I was working five different jobs as a single person. So I was driving for Uber, driving for Lyft. I was a substitute teacher. I was a vegan chef at a restaurant. You're a vegan Vegetarian a hundred percent of the time. Vegan, like 90, 85. I mean,
I love pizza. I'm from New York, you know, pizza and bagels, So vegan, but with pizza. Yeah. Vegan one with pizza and bagels tanned. So one of the ways that I loved making money, I loved making money back then was doing extra work as an actor. I only started doing voiceover artistry in the past three years. Okay.
So after acting, so I love being in front of the camera. I grew up in front of the camera. I'm very comfortable in front of the camera, but then I found out about voiceover artistry, and I didn't, I didn't even know that that existed. I didn't know what I didn't know. Right. So I found a voiceover teacher. I already had an agent at that time,
and he said, well, you need a demo reel. So actually this whole last year, all of 2022, I dedicated my time to doing my demo reel. So we picked like five different brands that I would've loved to work with. I even wrote a commercial for BMW. Like I, I even like wrote, just wanted to give my hand at writing a script in case someone needed me to like,
write a fun script for them so I can do script writing. Amazing. And then I brought that script to life and I love it. And I even narrated my own audio book. Yeah. I narrated someone else's audiobook. And I just, I love taking words and saying, what can we do to actually put some feeling into it? Yeah. Yeah.
So that's how I started, Started. What do you think it is about you, like your, you know, your incarnation that's about like the voice and about the fifth chakra, and like, get, like, what is that for you? Does does it have to do with your astrology? Does it have to do like, have, have you thought about that?
Like, you're a very, I mean, this is all really tracking. It's fun. I think I, it's all tracking. I, I think I silenced my, I mean, like, listen, I, I had a loud mouth at home. I got in trouble for talking a lot. Talking. Well, That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.
But at school, I really silenced myself. I was bullied a lot at school growing up. I mean, I was, I was incessantly teased, Kate. I mean, I, I kind of wanna cry even thinking about it because kids were mean. They were mean because I was Indian. My name was savi. They'd called me Wasabi and all these different names and,
you know, make fun of my dad saying that like, oh, he works at seven 11 and probably drives to work in a camel. Like, just a lot of inappropriate jokes to be making. Wow. And so I just, I needed to fit in. I mean, you have to survive when you're growing up, you know? So I just silenced myself a lot,
but for some reason I didn't let that really dull my spirit too much. But for me, it's really important. Anytime I meet someone, I just wanna be the kind of person that you can tell me anything. I'm not gonna flinch. I'm not gonna sit there judging you because you can't tell me something that I have not done. Or I can,
I can outdo you. You know what I mean? Like, nothing you say to me can ever make me feel like, oh my God, I can't believe you did that. So I know what it's like to not stand up for yourself and not have anyone else stand up for you. So I don't ever want anyone to feel that way. Yeah.
Yeah. I have a lot of parents who listen to this show. Yeah. If their kid is having kids bully them at school. Yeah. What, like, what would be helpful for you to pass along from that experience for them? Like how, what, what do you wish somebody had done for you? I can tell you what not to do,
and then I'm gonna give you a suggestion what to do. My mother, my mother, she is not a submissive Indian woman. She is, she is the queen of saying it out loud. My mother is. But she would come into the school and go to the principal's office and then talk to my teacher and say, find SAVI friends. And then the teacher would say,
who wants to play with SAVI on the playground? And no one wanted to play with, so don't, that was a little embarrassing. Yeah. And then my mom would call the parents' kids and the kids' parents. I mean, yeah. It, it just didn't work out. I think what I wish I had more than anything was more affirmation at home.
Like, I wish I felt safe at home. So even if I was going to get bullied at school, at least when I got home, I had a, I had a safe place to come home to where it wasn't like dramatic because like the last thing, I couldn't tell my mom all the time that I was getting bullied because then I was afraid she was gonna make it worse.
And oftentimes she made it worse. And I know that she was just being protective a hundred percent. But it, she went about it in a way that got me even more bullied. So for me, it really was, if I had a place at home that felt cozy and warm and safe, I think it wouldn't have been as bad. Okay.
Yeah. Now your dad, though Yeah. Was really different in terms of his approach Yeah. Than your mom. And even just before we started recording, and I think you had mentioned something about this in the book that like, when you drive, you would hold hands with him. And like, when I was on your podcast, you talked about like how generous he was in taking care of you when you had your period Yes.
Growing up. Yes. And like, so beautiful. So I wanna know more about your dad. My dad's name is Ashanti. I am gonna cry a little bit. Yeah. Because he has, he has a condition called Supra Nuclear Palsy, which is like atypical Parkinson's. So he's like, he's such a well-spoken person, but now, like his gait is all messed up.
Yeah. So he can't walk without assistance. He can't even speak. So like, at least we used to get like a yes or no from him, but we don't get anything from him anymore. So it's kind of like, it's like a long goodbye. Yeah. So it's like, it's just hard to like have this, I mean, he was my go-to,
for everything. I'd go to him for guy advice, business advice, marriage advice, money advice, how do I handle this? We would talk politics. He would always, and he always had a solution. And he always said, leave people better than when they first met you. So that's, that's always my goal is like, I'm gonna make sure you have the best time when you're around me.
I'm gonna make sure that you feel so freaking loved and appreciated around me. Because that's what he did. I mean, he's the goddamn legend. That's Wow. He Sounds like it. He is the kindest man ever. And you know, he came to this country and he had to start from the bottom again. And he just worked his way, you know,
just like my mom did also. But he, I mean, he just want, he's a girl dad. He's a hashtag girl dad. And he loved the heck, I mean, he spoiled the hell out of my sister and I, you know, but he was just a kind gentle man. And he just was well read. You know, we always used to read the New York Times together and eat bagels together,
watch Seinfeld together. We did everything together. So now it's like, you know, you lose a parent, but they're still alive, which I think is worse. It's seems, you know, awful. Yeah, yeah. From Yeah, yeah. From friends who have had that experience. Yeah. Yeah. What a beautiful Man. Yeah. He is,
his name is Shanti. I mean, he was born right after the British left India. So they born in 1948. Wow. The British left, left India in 47. So they named him Shanti for peace. That's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. What a legacy he's leading through leaving through you also. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. And,
and like, because you are so good at putting words to things like, to be able to, you know, I mean, it's so sad to have him not be able to speak anymore, but for you to be able to, you know, be speaking in your lineage in a very big way. I still show him stuff. He read some,
he, he could read some of the book, but he gets tired very easily. We just spend a lot of time on FaceTime in silence. That's what we do. Really. When I call him up, I mean, I'll, I, I, I, wow. So I'll call up my mom, she'll give him the phone. We'll just stay on FaceTime and I'll just talk to him and hopefully he's processing,
but he's not, you know, it's hard for him to form his words. Yeah. So it's, yeah. But he's able to witness and be there and see you. Yeah. And yeah, probably a lot more is going on. Yeah. I just wish He could, I wonder if he can completely compute how, how good it's gotten for me.
Because he has seen me in rehab, not once, but twice. He's seen me, you know, do all sorts of stupid stuff, you know what I mean? And now, like, you know, I, I don't know if he knows, like, you know, your daughter's okay now, you know? Yeah. I, I wonder if he knows that.
So I always wanna share my good news with him. And of course, yeah. We, I still do that. Yeah. What do you believe about, what do you believe about like, the soul and, and our ability to know things like in our non-human form? So, I don't think my mom would like this answer. I, but I'll tell you right now.
So, as Hindus, we're supposed to believe in reincarnation. Okay. That's one of our main te is that we're supposed to believe in reincarnation. I don't know, and I don't care. But all I know is what is going on right now. Yeah. I don't feel like I have to believe in reincarnation to be a good Hindu. I don't want to even know.
I just know what's happening right now. What happens to me after I die. That's just more of the mind needing to know and needing to control. That's for me, I don't personally care to know. I just know that I know what's going on right now. Yeah. That's for me personally, so. Oh, beautiful. Thank you. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, anybody's belief system is, you know, is beautiful and obviously they're welcome to it, but there's something about that level of presence. Yeah. 'cause it's like all we have anyway. And the rest of it is pretty much made up. And literally, I'll never forget this. I was in high school and I was out to lunch with my mom and my best friend,
and I don't, my best friend was like, Dr. Northrop, like, or what do you think happens when we die? Or she just asked the table in general, I don't remember. And my mom was like, well, I'll tell you what happens when you die, da da da. And I was like, mom, like, you dunno.
But literally, we dunno. And I mean, I guess people who've had near death experiences Yeah. There's a lot of commonalities in those reports, so probably there's something to it. Yeah. But I'm like, we don't know. Okay. Yeah. Thank you for that. You're welcome. Okay. You talked so much about the difference between thinking and feeling,
and you said thinking exhausts you feeling expands. You Yeah. Could you expand upon that? Yes. I love that line so much. I'm so glad People love that. No, it, it's exhausting to be up in your head all the time. I mean, I've spent a lot of time up in my brain, but when I feel, I feel like my cells come alive,
like, and I don't care what the feeling is, I just want to feel, it doesn't matter if it's happiness, sadness, something in between. If it's anger, I know that I'm alive when I'm feeling. But when I spend a lot of time thinking, I feel quite numb. Mm. I feel I, it's hard for me to really feel and think at the same time.
I, it's, i it, I don't wanna say I do either or, but I'd rather spend more time feeling and then use my brain to execute. Okay. So, so do the thinking after the feeling. Do the thinking after. So I have to feel first, what do I want to eat? What do I feel like wearing? What kind of vibe am I going for?
And then I use my brain to execute that. And what are your, this maybe sounds like a silly question. No. But like, what are your strategies for feeling, especially for folks like that just don't have that particular toolkit yet. I would say that I say I breathe a lot, I do a lot of intentional breathing, and I also ask myself the question.
So I know that may seem like a thinking strategy, but I'll actually ask myself, what am I feeling? Yeah. And then I'll stop and then I'll say, where in my body am I feeling this? And I'll put my hand wherever I feel it. What is this part of your body saying to you? So I let my body parts speak to me.
Yeah. So that's how I feel. And was that a methodology you learned from someone, or did you just kind of find yourself there? I just talked to myself, Kate. I just talk to yourself. I just talk to myself. What's been one of your favorite other than, or in addition to that, maybe you added on the saying it out loud,
what's one of your favorite modalities? Like one of your favorite healing modalities that you've incorporated in your life that has made, really moved the needle for you and really made the biggest difference? I really like physical touch. I know that a lot of times when we're feel like I, because I'm not lacking it right now, because I shared, you know,
I haven't had sex since August. Now that everyone knows that. Hello? Well, we don't know when this episode is gonna come out. So I just wanna say like, it's not been as long as you think because you're listening to this episode, like after the Fact. Hopefully she would've had sex by then. But I'm gonna just cast the net that like cast the vision that that will have come to pass.
By the time this episode goes, I, you'll be the first to Know boss. Avi. Second to know is getting late. I know you're gonna get a DMM for me, Kate. I can't wait to hear it. But I've been doing a lot of caressing of myself just because I'm missing that right now. You know, I can always, you know,
stroke my dog. I, yeah. And I have a beautiful golden retriever, but I, I touch myself a lot. Yeah. I feel myself a lot because, so when I'm thinking I feel very disembodied. You gotta, I just like be Touch myself in Your body. Yeah. I was doing that on the plane today. Yeah. Mean,
It's so powerful how we have those proprioceptors and we have these nerve endings and it is amazing how much of a, a state shift we can bring to ourselves. Yes. And how much of the nervous system can be impacted Yeah. Through that. Yeah. I think we really take it for granted. And, and, and something I think you are just such a beautiful living example of is like the power we do have for healing with everything we have right now with our voice.
Yeah. With our physical bodies. Yeah. So Beautiful. We could use all of our senses, we Can use all of our senses. Okay. So you just mentioned that, you know, you, you wanna make sure that your dad knows like how good it is for you now. So I wanna talk about how good it is for you now.
So one of the things that you had shared with me is this incredible sunrise that you were experiencing at your condo in Mexico. Yeah. And that this had been a dream of yours. How did this dream come to pass? I wanna know more about your real estate empire that is growing. Oh, thank You so much for saying that. Yes. Say it out loud empire.
I'm here for that. So I've been gonna apply Adel Carmen for years, and I was there in August of 2020. And as I was just cruising around, it just kept saying, for rent, for rent, for rent. And I was like, why can't I buy a place here? It was the first question. I said, why can't I buy a place here?
And I said, well, let's see. So while I'm, And this is, you are driving and you are saying this out loud. Yes. I I was, I was Right. Just to be clear, folks, I was saying this out loud. This is like how Avi operates. Yeah. So I saw all these four ride Signs, driving,
talking, Driving, talking out loud. Right. And I'm seeing all these high rises. And I was like, well, why can't I have a place here? And so I said, well, let's find out. I went on Facebook, I look up Playa del Carmen Realtors, y'all. This is how easy it was for me. It was,
it wasn't easy, it was simple. I went to Facebook, I looked up p Playa del Harmon realtors. I said, hello, my name is savi. I'm interested in finding a condominium. The first person who wrote me back was a woman named Sophie. And I was like, okay, cool. Sophie, we're in business, let's go. And then literally we met the next day and I said,
don't show me more than seven properties, because then I'm gonna get confused. Overwhelmed. Yep. And she showed me seven. And the one that I picked, I picked it because it was a block from the ocean. Nice. It was at the very end of Fifth Avenue, which is the party street. So I didn't want it right in the middle of the party hub and all that.
I got it for 128,000 in full transparency. And I was able to negotiate like two payments with them. Now, I did not have that cash on hand. So when I came back home, I tried to get a loan, did not get a loan. Then I called the bank of my mother and I said, mom, I really want to get this.
I go, I, I want this to be mine. Yeah. Because the house that I have in Austin was a gift to me. My mother bought that house for me because she's like, you're not having kids. You're never gonna ask me to be a grandmother. I want to give this to you. So she got me that house and I said,
I really want something that's mine. I said, can you let me borrow the money? And my mother, who is one of the most controlling people in the world, and she will admit this, that she likes to have full control over things. Yeah. She hadn't seen the place. She hadn't, you know, she didn't know anything about Mexico real estate.
And she goes, okay. She goes, okay. She goes like, gimme all the information. I gave her all the information. I let her know what the process was like. I got a lawyer in Mexico, did all the things. She let me borrow the money. I've paid her back two thirds of it already. But it has, I mean,
I mean, that's how it all started. Yeah. I, I couldn't, I didn't have the money from a bank. Yeah. I didn't have it on hand. I asked her. So once again, saying it out loud instead of just giving up, you know. Yeah. I asked her, even though like every part of me, Kate was like,
don't ask your mother. Don't ask. Really? Yeah. Tell me more about that. I had so much pride around that. I had so much pride around the fact that I had to ask my mother. 'cause what were you making it mean? I made it mean that I wasn't, I wasn't successful on my own. That I needed help. That I was a little bratt,
that my mom was No, no. Yeah. Like all the stuff like, oh, I'm spoiled. Or that, you know, like, oh, I didn't earn it on my own. It, it wasn't hard enough. That's what it Was. It wasn't hard enough. It wasn't hard enough. And you know what you said, which I love Yeah.
Is like that if we say the things out loud Yeah. That we're afraid other people will say, yeah, we take our power back. Yeah. That's why I'm saying it right now. So Good. It's so good. It's so true. Yeah. It's like just dissolves the whole thing. Yeah. It's like what this is here. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Right. That it wasn't hard enough because we have been conditioned to believe Yeah. That if something isn't hard, it doesn't, it's not worthwhile. Right. Yeah. It wasn't hard enough. And I gotta tell you, the relationship that I have with my mom is so much better. We've built back trust. I've, I pay her back timely every single month.
See What a beautiful opportunity for you. And You know what she said to me? She said this just three days ago. She goes, you're one of the most honest people I know. She goes, you have such a high level of integrity. She goes, I don't worry that you're gonna not pay me back. She goes, I know what kind of integrity you have.
That for me is more than enough for me. Like the, like the fact that I still owe her like maybe like $75,000. Like that's it. That it, it's not a lot of money for me to pay her back. But the fact, like those words right there, it was worth it for me. And you would not, you would've robbed yourself of that opportunity and her to hear,
and her and her to be able to pass that along. Yeah. And the healing available and that, that's amazing. Yeah. Thank you. Wow. Yeah. Okay. And then you also rent it out. So it's an asset. Yeah. It's a, that you, you Airbnb it. Yeah. So I Airbnb it. Okay. So also I had to hire a property manager.
Okay. That was a whole process. Because this is your baby and you want someone who's going to manage It. Of course. Yeah. You got it. Yeah. So I actually just switched property managers. I'm really happy about it. And it was a lot of interviewing. Everything was done in Spanish. So I Do you speak Spanish? I use the hell out of Google Translate.
Okay, great. And I'm really good at Google Translate. And, and you know, I, I also took a little Spanish in high school and middle school, so I mean, I love the people of Mexico. Yeah. Playa Ade, Carmen. I mean, I've had a great experience there. Yeah. And I just wanna say to anyone listening,
like, it's not a farfetched idea. Right. You, you can get property internationally. Yeah. Like, people get so scared about doing stuff outside of the US and I'm like, no, I mean, it's happening. People are doing it. You know? Yeah. Like, you can, you can do this. That's great. Yeah. How,
what, what would you say if somebody, and this is like this, somebody is me. Yeah, Yeah. Please. So is like wanting to possibly get an Airbnb property and start building that out. What are some like do's and don'ts from, I know you're just getting started. Yeah. But like, what did you learn along the way that maybe you wish you had done differently?
Or what would you for sure do the same again, To be, Whether it was, I mean, it doesn't have to be an international property, but that's been your experience. Right. To be honest, I, I wouldn't do anything differently. Great. I'm really happy with how I went about it. I got the help. I didn't try to bootstrap it on my own.
Yeah. I said, let me find someone who knows the area. Right. Sophie and I still keep in touch. I give her referrals all the time for people who wanna buy property. Imply at Del Carmen, I got the help. I took my time finding a property manager. I refused to be rushed and sold to. So that was another thing.
I I, I was in Mexico last December when the property was actually given to me and delivered. I had nine days to choose a property manager. I did not choose a property manager until the day before I was leaving. I said, I'm not gonna make this. Yeah. Haphazardly, you know, so just take your time with it. Yeah.
And ask all the questions. And I have a group text with the rest of my condo owners. I know two other condo owners who are in Texas. So we're the condo queens and we have a little group text going and we're always kind of giving each other tips and stuff. Right. So just you can build community wherever. Like you're not the only one doing it.
You gotta find your people. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. With your acting, have you built much community with that? Because you live in tech, you live in Austin, you're not like in the acting capital of the world. No. So how are you going out and getting jobs from Austin? What's happening there? I'm curious.
So I have an agent in Austin. I'm signed with acclaimed talent. They're wonderful. Jason is my agent, and I just shot two big commercials. Congratulations. So, yeah. So cool. I I mean it, we had a, we had a 13 hour workday on Saturday. It's the, it's the, oh, Nelly. It's the, it's the,
I mean, I was up at 4 45 in the morning. I mean, we, we had to be on set at 6 45. Wasn't done by 5 45. It's the best time ever. And it's a lot acting is just a lot of sitting and waiting to be, to be called on set by the director. But I always meet other actors every time I'm on set.
And then we always keep in touch. We follow each other. We have that community. Yeah. I mean, you're a really interesting blend. Like I think that folks tell themselves Yeah. That they can't do all the things that they wanna do. Yeah. And you're out here investing in real estate writing books, being a coach, being a podcast host,
being a public speaker. Yeah. Being a voiceover artist. Being an actor. Yeah. Did I miss anything? Did you miss anything? Also licensed therapist in the state Of Texas. Therapist in The state of Texas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's about it. I mean, that's Oh, oh my God. Also wedding officiant. I Oh,
cool. I do that on the weekends A Lot. I do, I mean, especially in the summer, but now it's gonna be wedding season 'cause it's cooled down in Texas, So like, yes. Yeah. At least like three or four weddings a month. Yeah. That's a lot. Yeah, that's a lot. That's how we, How do people find you?
So I'm actually, this is amazing. I'm enlisted, I'm enlisted through Texas Wedding Ministers. And so whenever people want a female, or they want a South Asian Yeah. A wedding officiant, they'll just Google. And I just come up and I'll tell me, and Oh, go ahead. Yeah, no, tell me more. I was gonna say,
I mean, I, I wanted people to know this. Like, this is very well thought out. Right? Like, all the things that I do and I get paid for are all the different parts of me. Like yes, yes. I'm single and I'm a hopeful romantic. So I love being in the presence of love and I get to,
I get to curate that. Like, I am the, the after the bride and groom, I'm the most important person there. Yeah. So for me to be able to like, see love four times a month and watching two people, like it keeps my fire going. And with the acting and voiceover, that's a playful childlike part of me. Yeah.
'cause I, I've gone through a lot that could have really made me pretty jaded and just kind of shut down. But I keep myself playful. You gotta be playful when you're acting and doing voiceover work and all the other stuff is what I do. And I've been doing that. I kind of moved away from the therapy and the, I love my coaching and I love doing groups,
but all this other stuff that you've mentioned, these are like these newer things that I've been tapping into newer parts of me. So in our industry, whatever that like a personal development Yeah. That thing we do. Yeah. Like there's some, you know, marketing wisdom out there that says you gotta really focus and like, niche down. Yeah. And,
you know, otherwise you're not gonna be successful. And what do you think about that? I don't, I can't, I cannot do it. I just, I listen, I, I just have signed a new client who's like, he's 25. He found me on the small podcast, like when I was on my book tour to, I'm taking him on as a client.
He's very artistic. So it's like, my clients range from like 25 to like 55 from like male to female, anywhere in between. And it's like, why, why do I have to do that? I'm so dynamic. Yeah. Why do I have to niche myself down so that my marketing feels like it's talking to one person when I myself am not one person.
Yeah. I have, I'm multifaceted. So I mean, I have people who wanna come to me to learn, how did you become a voiceover artist? Yes. So I walk them through that. So I'll do like little consulting there, you know, so for me it's just like, if I can share what I do in these different parts with me,
with people, then I'm helping different types of people who wanna do different types of things and I'm fine with. That's so cool. Yeah. It's so cool. I don't know that I know that many people who like just give themselves permission thanks to explore the variety of their passions in that way. Thank you. I can't believe you just threw in that you like do four to five weddings a month.
Yeah. What? Yeah, I have one next. And All kinds of faiths. All Kinds of faith. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever they need here. I mean, pretty, Yeah. Actually, actually people really like working with me because I'm not, you know, strictly Catholic or because I'm Exactly, yeah. So yeah. You're available for whatever,
all of it. Cool. Yeah. That's so fun. Yeah. What a beautiful thing. Yeah. It's a Lot of fun. And about you. And also it's such a beautiful way to, you know, one of the things I talk about a lot is when we, there's something we want, we need to get around people who have it.
Yeah. To rewire ourselves about possibility. Yeah. And so I love that you're doing that with your weddings. Thanks. That is really smart. Yeah. I just, I, I didn't want my love for, love to die down simply because I didn't have that in my life. So I just strategically put myself Yeah. In those situations. It's freaking,
Yeah. Brilliant. And, and then it shows me it's possible. It's real. It's real. It's real. You know, know you can have that too voe. You can. And I see all these wedding venues and I'm like, oh, maybe I'll get married. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, you've definitely like done the research. Yes.
So you'll know that. Yeah. Like you. Yeah. Wow. You've been a board of weddings than anyone. Yeah. That's really cool. Yeah. Okay, so the show is called Plenty and it's a really about expanding into a feeling that there's enough, you know, time, money, energy, all of that stuff. I think that your career and the way you live your life is such a living example of plenty.
Yeah. And I wanna know, as we wrap up, what does plenty mean for you in your life right now? You know, I have this post-it on my mirror that says I am already enhanced. Okay. So hear me out. I, I'm already enhanced. I've always felt like I needed to do more, to be more. And then I actually had my neighbor,
her name is Ellie, shout out to Ellie. Ellie was like, VAs, you don't need to do more. She's 22. And the wisest ever, she's like, my, she's my neighbor. My B fff love her. We go on hot girl walks, and now in the winter we're going on chili girl walks. And she, I wanna give her credit.
'cause she said to me, you are already enhanced. Like, you don't have to do the most to be the most, I used to pride myself on doing the most. I mean, and I just am like, you know, for me plenty means like, Vass, you are plenty already. Like you are more than enough already. You have plenty inside of you.
You don't need to keep searching, you gotta just turn inwards and bring it outwards. So that's what that means for me. Wow. Yeah. I am already enhanced. I'm already enhanced. I love that. Yeah. Take It. That is like, that's so good. Yeah. Feels like it has slightly different meaning in Miami, but Yeah. So many Yeah.
Procedures you can do. But yeah, I'm already enhanced, so I don't need 'em. Yeah. I love, okay, now I'm, I'm like, wait, whatcha Talking about? Oh my God. Yeah. This has been great. Thank you. I just love learning more about you. Thank you. You are just a delight. Thank you for being here.
Thank you so much. So if people wanna connect with you, where should they go? You can find me on Instagram, send me a voice note. Let me know that you love this episode. My handle is, my name is savi. I have a free audio training over on my website@vkumar.com. How to get through anything. It's my version of the 12 Steps.
Love It. Yeah. So you can go through anything in life and I walk you through this 12 step audio meditation talk that's just gonna help you just talk, you know, talk you off the ledge a little bit. Awesome. You know, we all need that sometimes. So that's at vass v kumar.com. We really do need that sometimes. Yeah.
Okay. And of course all the links will be in the show notes. Of course. Thanks for being here today. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of Plenty. I learned a lot. Isn't Vass V amazing? Like, ugh, I just loved it. So get her book, say it out loud,
go and talk to yourself. I'm telling you, I thought it was weird at first, but it has really made a difference for me to be able to witness my bullshit, to be able to just witness my brilliance, to be able to sort through the things. And at the very least, start every morning by saying thank you out loud with volume.
And of course, if you like this episode, please share it with a friend, text it to somebody, screenshot it. Tell us what you liked. Tag us on social, subscribe if you love the show. And I cannot wait to have you back for next time. Thanks for being here. Woo-hoo. You made it to the end of an episode of Plenty.
Don't you Feel expanded already? So if you liked this episode, go ahead and leave us a review. Subscribe to the podcast, text a friend and let them know they need to listen in. That helps us spread the word so more people can experience plenty together. And if you want to ease your path to creating wealth, I created a money Breakthrough Guide for you where I interviewed over 20 of my high earning women friends,
and I asked them what their biggest money breakthrough guide was. And the responses were so mind blowing and helpful. I knew I needed to pass them along to you. This is the kind of thing that is often only shared behind closed doors, but now you can access it totally for free. So head over to kate northrop.com/breakthroughs and get the guide. Again,
that's kate northrop.com/breakthroughs and I'll see you next time for Plenty.