How to Keep the Romance Alive: Song of Solomon 1:1 - 2:7

Show Notes

Episode 579: 
In this episode, we dive into the Song of Solomon, exploring the romantic and poetic expressions of love found in this biblical text. We read excerpts that illustrate the deep affection and admiration between the bride and groom, emphasizing the beauty of their relationship. The discussion touches on the significance of romance and intimacy in marriage, drawing parallels between the poetic language of Solomon and our own experiences of love.

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You're listening to the Bible Guys, a podcast where a couple of friends talk about the Bible in fun, in practical ways. Hey, everybody, thanks for coming back, especially if you're a daily listener. Yeah, after how poorly we've done this week, we're shocked anybody came back. Yes, hopefully we'll up the bar today. We're going to do We're gonna try this time. Yes, let's try, actually try, We're gonna try. Hey, we're gonna start off with a segment that Desiree is calling story time. So this is how it reads. She said, today we are moving out of the Book of Proverbs, and by the way, we're probably gonna jump back in. Right Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah, so from twenty five to thirty one, those proverbs were coalated during the rainy King Hezekiah. Yeah, so that's a little later, but yeah, OK, so we're gonna pause now and finish up with a lot of Solomon's other writings. I'm yawning, okay, yeah, sorry about that. Yeah, I said like five sentences an already you bore me. I'm boring you did. That's a movie cool, by the way, yes, you bull me. It's from Blade Part one. Okay, today we were moving out of Proverbs and jumping into Song of Solomon. Since we were talking about the wedding day, let's share funny or embarrassing stories. From your early marriage days. Okay, So the first thing that came to my mind is actually something that happened on my actual wedding day. We took photos beforehand, so we did the first look, you know where they you know, sometimes you don't see the bride before the wedding, but if you're doing photos and you know reception right afterwards and all that, you have to do a first look. So we did bride and groom first look in this room, and so my wife and I saw each other, you know, cried, had our really fun moments. But we were sort of in this room for like half an hour, and she was sitting down, I was standing up, and I was like, you know, standing right next to her. Well, at the time, I know this sounds really silly, but at the time, I was taking taekwondo. We were in college. Oh no, And I don't think any story begins, any good story, yes begins. We were in our hucks, in our wedding dress, and at the time I was taking taekwondo. Yes, that transition phrase is there's nothing good about that one. You're really boring me. Yeah, so I just it's the sound of my voice is giving me a complex to sleep. So uh So, anyway, uh, I used to do this silly thing. It was so bad. And I used to do this. Thing where I would like throw a punch and I would like try to impressively stop within like a half an inch before your nose. And I would sometimes do that with a kick, super impressive. Yeah, it's so it's so bad. It's so bad. I thought maybe I was cool or whatever. But I would go and all of a sudden, you know, karate kid it or whatever, and I'd and my my fist would come right up to your nose. Or I would do it with my kicking too. I'd be like, you know, put this little kick right. And it was so so, you know, it was so dumb. But anyway, so and I did. But you want your young bride to know that you are the man kind of dangerous, ye kind of dangerous. You're strong. You do know who you're married, right, So so anyway, so so I did this thing where she was sitting down and I was standing up, and I oftentimes did this where I would just go I was a kick and I put my foot like right next to her face. Well, I don't know why, by the way, I did this always, but I never by the way, I never messed up. I've never hit anybody ever, as as long as i've you know, all those hundreds of times that I did. Anyway, the point is, it's our wedding day. I've got like dress shoes on, and as soon as I go to so I'm seeing her sitting there, I decided to do this kick thing on her wedding day. At the same time she leans forward to go stand up. Here's the good news of the story. I did not kick her in the face. I didn't teach her, I did not touch her. Good thank goodness, Liz. Yeah, However, she went to go lean forward to get up, and she looked at me and said, Chris, I almost got kicked in the face because. On her wedding day, On her wedding day, because because you know in that thirty minute window that that first look, everybody needs a good karate demonstration, right right right. Can you imagine No, no, no, I can't. Yeah, I mean I would have literally caused her to bleed or go to the hospital. Kick her in the head. She go out there with the black eye. Yes, that's hard to explain. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, So anyway, that's my silly wedding day illustration. Liz. I'm so thankful that that didn't happen. I can't believe, she said, I do. Anyways, I know, just just that the idea that you needed to do a karate demonstration right before. By the way, did you know that when it was time for the bride for my wedding, it was. A traditional. When that music started, there was like a five second delay where she did not walk around the corner, and for just a split second, everybody's like, what's going on? But she told me later on it was actually her father, my father in law, who actually looked at her and said, are you sure you. Want to do this? He liked me, he approved of. Me, but you know, you did see his karate, right, But he did say, he said, are you sure you want to do this? He goes, because he goes, I can cancel this whole thing right now. He's trying to do his like father, protect the bigger girl thing. You know, And so she makes sense to me she was dealing with her dad. But our family was like, did she run. That's a great story. Yeah, there you go, that is a great story. Thank you, Jeff, What is your story? Silly thinks. We just didn't know what we didn't know, you know. So Bonnie and I just so I rented a house in the woods from a missionary who didn't live in the US, and I didn't realize it was a summer cabin. So it had single pane windows and no insulation in the house. Oh no, and it was winter and it was yeah, and it was just mud. So we got married in December and it was just mud. This wasn't honeymoon. Well, we didn't have honeymoon. I had like a three day honeymoon, two nights, two night honeymoon. Then we moved. We had to move all over this stuff from Michigan down to Indiana, and so I lost my wedding ring when we were trying to the load everything out of the thing. In like two and a half there was a massive snowstorm in northwest Indiana the day we were moving, in like three feet of snow, and so then I get the U haul truck stuck in the hill up leading up to our place. I dropped my wedding ring in three feet of snow. It was just one of these terrible things. And then we went through so much pro paane keeping that house heated right, because it was just these crazy things. But hey, we were young and in love and we're going to just do whatever we need to do. So we had somebody give us a gift. Bonnie's dad gave us a gift of a smokeless grill, and so somebody else came by and they gave us a couple of Rabbi steaks. And so it was our first night and I said, hey, let's just grill these Let's grill these steaks. This is kind of neat, we're all growing up. So I just set it on the kitchen table up that bad boy and filled the entire house of smoke. So we ate our first meal together as a married couple. That we prepared sitting on the floor of the kitchen with all the windows open, and it was like, you know, five degrees outside. It was so cold and three feet of snow, and then you couldn't breathe because it was just the whole house was full of smoke. So I don't know why it meant why I said smokeless on the box, but it wasn't smokeless and we discovered that. Wow. So then I was going out to close the back gate of the U haul truck and slipped. And when I slipped, I put my hands down into the snow and I stood up with that ring in my hand. That's not true, that's true. That's true. Yeah. I mean we had looked for an hour from my ring could find it. Then when I went to go shut the gate on the back of the truck, I slipped and fell and fell right on the ring. Is that amazing? Yeah. So that's how I knew it was going to work out. God was so I make really dumb choices and God's still looking out for me. That's That's how I want away from. Okay that that story in itself. Number one, I'm surprised I never heard that. And number two, that is like, that's something you could easily pass off as coincidence. But that's like a little mini mirror. No. I've always felt like God's like, I'm going to take care of you. In spite of you you're such a moron. I'm to take care of anyways, and that was that's amazing. Wow. Speaking of making of wedding. Nights, yeah, yeah, yeah, you go ahead. What was your favorite? Go ahead? No, no, you please, I was just going with an amazing route. Oh, amazing, go ahead, but no wedding nights. Yeah, wedding night. Well, speaking of wedding nights, uh, maybe the most scandalous book in the whole Bible, Solomon writing about his wedding night, Yes, with this beautiful woman. Yes, right, so let me read the We like the Life Application Study Bible because the notes are amazing, right, They just help you understand things. Here's the note about the Book of Song of Solomon. It says Song of Songs, which is another name for Song of Solomon, is a wedding song honoring marriage. So the whole thing is a song, like a love song. They're writing back and forth to each other. The most explicit statements on sex in the Bible are found in this book. It's often been criticized because of its sensuous language, but the purity and sacredness of love presented here are greatly needed in our day in which distorted attitudes about love and marriage are commonplace. God created sex and intimacy, and they are holy and good when enjoyed in marriage. A husband and wife honor God when they love and enjoy each other. So that's the idea, so almost everything. Don't worry if you have your kids listening along. It's not overly explicit. It's more innuendo. Yeah, but yeah, yeah. They don't come right out and say things. Yes, So here we go. This is Solomon's song of songs, more wonderful than any other. And then it starts off. The young woman is singing to her groom, kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine. How fragrant your cologne, your name is like it's spreading fragrance. No wonder all the young women love you. Take me with you. Come, let's run. The king has brought me into his bedroom. And then the young women of Jerusalem starts singing with her her bridesmaids, How happy we are for you, o King. We praise your love even more than why. And then the bride says, how right they are to adore you. I am dark but beautiful, oh women of Jerusalem. Dark as the tents of Keeter, dark as the curtains of Solomon's tents, don't stare at me because I am dark. The sun has darkened my skin. My brothers were angry with me. They forced me to care for their vineyards, so I couldn't care for myself my own vineyard. Tell me, my love, where are you leading your flock today? Where will you rest your sheep at noon? For why should I wander like a prostitute among your friends and their flocks. Then the young groom says, if you don't know a most beautiful women, follow the trail of my flock and graze your young goats by the shepherd's tents. You are as exciting, my darling, as a mayor among pharaoh stallions? Are your cheeks? Your earrings set them afire? How lovely is your neck enhanced by a string of jewels. We will make for you ear rings of gold and beads of silver. And then the bride says, the king is lying on his couch enchanted by the fragrance of my perfume. My lover is like a sachet of myrrh lying between my breasts. He is like a bouquet of sweet Hannah blossoms from the vineyards of Ngetti. Then the groom says, how beautiful you are, darling, How beautiful your eyes are like doves. Then the woman says, you are so handsome, my love, pleasing beyond words. The soft grass is our bed. Fragrant cedar branches are the beams of your house, and pleasant smelling furs are the rafters. And then the young woman continues, I am the spring crocus blooming on the Sharon plaine, the lily of the valley. And then young man says, like a lily among thistles is my darling among young women. And then she says, like the finest apple tree in the orchard is my love among other young men. I sit in his delightful shade, and taste is delicious fruit. He escorts me to the banquet hall. It's obvious how much he loves me. Strengthened me with raising cakes and refresh me with apples, for I am weak with love. His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. Promise me, he says. She says, a woman of Jerusalem by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right. And there you go, there you go. There it is, And I almost want to say like Forrest Gump. And that's all I have to say about. That, right, So what how are we going to commentate on this? Well, how they express romance is kind of entertaining to me. Yeah, well, I mean let's start there. Yeah, because you know who was it was it John Eldridge who wrote a book who talked about how every young man goes through a stage. He goes through a stage of being a cowboy, have you heard this? A cow boy where he where he has to you know, you know, just. Yeah. And then he goes through a stage where. He's a he's a lover, where he discovers poetry and discovers women, and then uh, and then he becomes a warrior and then uh, you know, you know, he has what it takes, you know, and he has to prove it. And eventually he gets to be a king, right, and the king is when he you know, rules the household. And then and then eventually every man gets to be what does he call it a sage? He calls it a sage where he the wise man. Yeah, the wise man who actually instructs kings. Right, and so anyway, so so and again this is just for young men. It's not for young women. But as Eldridge writes this, it's the poet. Uh, it's the poet. That's the stage he was in. And think about poet a stage. So think about you know, from the time you started, you know, for instance, like courting Bonnie all the way through you know you're young, married. Uh stage. Uh, that's that's the awakening of this inside of you, you know. I remember do you do you ever stumbled across old love notes that you guys wrote to each other. Oh, my goodness, we have every single one of them. Yeah, yeah, aren't they terrible? Yes? Yes, they were terrible. Yes, at the time, it was so heartfelt. Back in the old days, boys and girls, we used to use paper and pens, and we write notes to each other, for sure, and nobody does anymore, but. People say, hey, don't don't delete my text thread right right. We we would write letters and and we came across we used to have a whole bag of them, and came across these things and Bonnie was a much better writer than I was. Oh they were horrible. It's like, I'm so embarrassing. You know, these things you just sink. But that is that moment you're you're this this this this ability to communicate in a romantic way. Yeah, is starting to you know, come alive in your life. Well, I remember, which is really weird. I remember one. Time I I had put flowers all over my wife's car. I would get there late at night, like at midnight, and her car was in the driveway. It was like a Chrysler something or the other, like this beige Chrysler. And I remember and by the way, I stole the flowers out of somebody's garden. Which is a horrible thing to do. Did you hear me? Yes, I stole I stole flowers, but anyway, but I laid them all down her car. I just covered the hood and then I wrote a note, a love note, and put it underneath her windshield. So she came out and go to work in the morning. But I remember, like that's a public thing where her father was the first one to go out and say, Liz, you better go out and clean off your cards, cover the flowers, you know. But I remember I used to do stuff like that all the time, poetry and things like that. When I was in college. I remember going off to. College and I was I was I thought at the time, I was sort of a ladies guy, and I had a reputation for not being very faithful back in the day. I was fifty sixteen when I was dating Liz, and I was I was not very kind or faithful at the time. We date a lot of girls and jump back and forth. And so Liz was actually advised by my pastor, my pastor who she looked up to, and my pastor's wife especially, and they said, you need a dump, Chris. So I go to Bible College and I'm eight hunred miles away. So she had her chance. She did. She had a chance. Yes, eight aarned three miles. It is eight airn three miles from my dorm to her front door. And my pastor's wife says, yeah, you need a dump Chris. He is he is going to, you know, be unfaithful to you at college and all these different things. So I wrote her. A love poem and I know it's still oh boy, it's said, this is a song of Chris, the song of Chris. And I, by the way, I had her memorize it and I told her, I said, I want you to never forget this. Oh wow. She still knows it too. And here's how it went. You know there was a call from God for a man to go. Wait, don't make that contact when you're telling to look somewhere else, don't. Don't look at me. Here we go. Don't look at me. Here, he goes, Okay, here it is. It's not. It's more of a statement. I know. I'm just worried. I'm worried, and I don't want to have an awkward moment when you're looking deeply into my eyes. Quoting a romantic poem wrote Till Liz's. It's more of a declaration about love. Okay, okay, yeah, it's actually committed. I'm just going to look away, go ahead. Yes, it said there was a call from God for a man to go to school, and no one ever thought that he'd survived. The distance rule, the rule that says relationships and time will fade away, and love stretched out across the mouths grows weaker day by day. 'tis fact. This common rule applies to shallow people. True, But the greatest distance will not change the love I have for you. Wow. God will bless and strengthen those that pray they're in his will, And if they be, then they shall see their love grow stronger still. How lovely. That's nice. I don't know that it compares. With Hey, I didn't say I was song of I didn't say I was Solomon. Yeah, but I mean Solomon said, if you don't know al most beautiful women follow the trail of my flock and graze your young goats by the shepherd's tents. Well, how can I compare to that? How can I. Compare to that? Yeah, okay, we're like the mayor among stallions. Yes, right, that's right. Yeah, So it's so funny. But all that to say, there is a there is a romance awakening for young men and women, and this is the stage that they're in expressing their love, expressing romance and to uh and and this is what this is, and it's actually a very important part of our lives. And it's the way that God cradle us. Yeah. Yeah, it's that mystery and that excitement as as we read through the rest of us. I don't know for reading every chapter here, it's only what five chapters long? Is that right? Yeah? Seven chapters? Eight chapters. Yeah, it's only eight chapters long. I don't know if we're going to do the whole thing. I think we will, but There's what you'll find is they flirt for a while. Right now, they're kind of flirting, and then they start getting pretty serious and they are extraordinarily complimentary to each other. Yeah, we'll talk about that. But you know the thing I'm struck with on this. I had a bunch of college guys come to me one time, and my wife and I delight in each other. Still we've been married for thirty three years next week. Next week is a thirty third anniversary. Wow, good job. And now yeah, so well, by the time you listen to this, it will celebrate a third third anniversary. Yeah, until July. But we had been married about, I don't know, twenty years or something, and these young guys came and asked, Hey, we want what you have. How do we have? How do we get what you have? You guys, you laugh together, you're holding hands together all the time. You seem to really like each other. And for them, in their experience, their parents who've been married for you know, decades, didn't have that spark. You know, it was just a partnership or whatever. And so I said, well, first of all, you want to find a good Christian girl, but just barely That was my joke, right, And Bonnie's a little wild. She's kind of a fun, fun person that way. So that was my joke. But then I said, actually, here's what I would say. If you want twenty years in what you had, you know, twenty months before you said I do, you have to do what you did. If you want what you had, you have to do what you did. And I think a lot of times couples forget this part. They forget the flirting, they forget that it feels silly, yeah, it feels whatever. But on a regular basis, I can look across the room and just see in Bonnie's eye that funny thing she's thinking, or that flirty thing that and vice versa, all those private jokes and private comments, and you know, complimenting each other and celebrating each other. That's what you're going to find through the Book of Solomon Song of Solomon is how often they celebrate each other and compliment each other. And what they're doing is they're building confidence in the other one, and they're building up the other one. And when you work hard to build up your spouse, and then your spouse hopefully reciprocates that. But whether they do or not, you do what you used to do in order to have what you used to have, and you keep that spark going. And ultimately, as you read through this is what you're going to discover is it's almost like there's nobody else in the world except these two, right right, and there's there's something special about that that you're building, this this intimacy and this connection that goes beyond. So yeah, I love it. Yeah, that's great. And you know, there's a there's a movie by Tommy Lee Jones. I can't remember the name of it, but it was it was like a couple that had been married for forty years. They were in their sixties, and their marriage was dull, and he was a typical guy who didn't say much and sat in front of the TV or something, and she's like, you know what, I demand. Romance and she's like, what are you talking about? And then and then they went through this whole movie where where she was like, you know, I can't live this way, and then and and it's this beautiful movie. I don't even know what it's called. But at the end of the movie, he had gone through the whole thing and realized what he had forgotten, and he had realized that. And so at the end, you know, here he is this you know, sixty year old guy, and he's like, I love this woman. I loved this woman. This guy who like barely talked at the beginning the movie is now like completely expressive, and she's that way back, you know, And I'm telling you what, it was just a beautiful rediscovery of. This of what we're talking about. Yeah, yeah, which is really cool. There's also one more thing in we read into chapter two, so we read all of chapter one into chapter two, and in verse one, she's remember the passage she says, I'm the spring crocus blooming in the Sharon plane. Yeah, really, I wish it could have been translated slightly different. Really, what she's saying is I'm just an ordinary flower. Because the Rosa Sharon and the lily of the Valley were very common, and so she's like, I'm just an ordinary flower. There's nothing special about me. Yeah, right, most of the time women need have kind of a Sometimes I wonder if I'm enough, right, And his response is perfect because he comes back and he goes, oh, no, you're extraordinary. You're literally among thorns, right, you are stunning compared to all these other horrible women out there, all these other thorns out there, And so there's something about building the other one up in the romance thing. A lot of times people make, yeah, people make mistakes. Making romance be about their appetites and their desires, Right, what can I get from you in this hot and heavy moment? As opposed to how can I build you up and make you stronger? Because you're going to find it gets hot and heavy in this book. But it wasn't about what can Solomon going, what can I get from this vulnerable woman? But rather how do I build her up in a way that she understands there's nobody that compares to her in my eyes, and then vice versa, you see her doing the same thing. And so in this intimacy, there's also tremendous amount of vulnerability, and in that vulnerability is when we begin to learn to trust and believe in each other. Right, So there's it's just as beautiful. This whole book is really really amazing. So anyways, we're going to dig in to it over the next few days. And by the way, you know, I couldn't let this go without finding out the name of the movie, Yes and gets who the wifeless Meryl Street oh okay, and the counselor Steve Correll. Wow, so an actual killer cast. It's called Hope Springs and it's a comedy romance from twenty twelve. It's actually really good. Okay, so all right, well, hey listen, that's our time, so hopefully we will see you tomorrow on the Bible, guys,