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I once asked him how he did it,
and he said you need to דאווען a lot,
סייעתא דשמיא.
I said,
and you also need a father like רב שמואל.
You put those two things together,
then maybe it pays off.
So we're learning ספר מסילת ישרים,
we're in פרק ב,
in מידת הזהירות,
and we spoke last time about the חשבון נפש that we need to be
doing,
and that the חשבון נפש is critical.
You can't assume you're going to remain a growth-orientated person,
you can't assume you're even going to remain on the level that you're at.
The level that you're at is only,
the משל we gave is that there's this,
on the one hand you have a plant,
and on the other hand you have a stone.
A stone,
if you leave it in its place for a while,
it will look the same.
It looks the same,
it doesn't change,
it's a stone,
it looks the same.
If you pick it up underneath,
you'll find worms and maggots that weren't there to begin with.
How did they get there?
Because if it's not something which is growing,
then by definition it's going to be developing negative things.
Not it,
it stays the same,
but what's underneath,
because nothing's growing around it.
As opposed to a plant,
where it depends if you're watering or not.
Something which is alive,
and you don't water it,
then you can't say,
I don't understand,
it was alive yesterday,
why did it die today?
Yeah,
because you didn't water it!
The fact that it was alive yesterday doesn't mean that it's going to be
alive today.
A relationship with the הקדוש ברוך הוא is something which you have to be
constantly,
constantly working on in order for it to develop.
And if a person's not constantly working on his relationship with the הקדוש ברוך
הוא,
then it's going to go down.
ההולך בעולמו בלי התבוננות אם טובה דרכו או רעה,
and therefore if a person goes through his world without contemplating his path,
is it good or bad?
We spoke beforehand about מעשים and דרכים.
Now he's only mentioning the דרך.
Because in a way,
the דרך is the main thing you should be looking at,
and the מעשים just follow.
A דרך is,
why am I here?
What's my השקפה?
What's my outlook?
What's my perspective?
If those are in track,
then it's likely that the actions will follow and path as well.
But if a person only looks at his actions,
then it could be that he's doing the actions from a negative place,
place of fear.
הנה הוא כסומא ההולך על שפת הנהר אשר סכנתו ודאי עצומה ורעתו קרובה מהצלתו.
So he's giving another משל for a blind person.
If a blind person is walking on the edge of a river,
then it may be that here and there he takes a step and he's
okay,
but as he continues walking,
at some point he's likely to fall.
There was once a,
there was a,
there was a,
it's a complicated case,
but there was a,
there was a medical procedure that needed to take place,
and the people said that we're going to trust in Hashem,
it's going to be okay,
and they trusted in Hashem and it worked out.
And their רב had said not to do that.
Their רב had said to go through the medical procedure,
because the the risk to the to the child was great,
and there was no guarantee that it would work out.
So,
afterwards they came back to the רב and they said,
"Ah,
you see,
like,
we didn't do the procedure and the child's fine,
so like,
why are you telling us to do that?"
So he said,
the רב said to them,
"If you run a red light,
if you drive through in your car at a junction when it's red,
it could be that you'll make it through.
But that doesn't justify that you did a good thing!
It was still an עבירה!
Okay,
you got away with it,
but it was still an עבירה."
There are certain times where a person does an action,
which that action,
it might be in the end he got away with it.
But that doesn't justify and mean that you were supposed to behave that way
to begin with.
If there's normal השתדלות that one needs to take,
and then some miracle happens,
and then he didn't even need the השתדלות,
then okay,
a miracle happened,
but we don't live our lives relying on miracles.
If a person's not doing a חשבון נפש,
it could be that some of the steps he'll take will be okay.
It could be that he's managing and he's learning and he's getting married and
he's getting a business and things seem to be working out,
but that's not normal השתדלות.
The normal השתדלות is that a person has to be contemplating where he is,
who he is,
how he's growing,
and even if for a bit of a time he's able to manage,
there's some momentum going that keeps him going,
or he's got good structure from good friends and it's helping keep him going,
that's not always going to be there forever.
And at some point,
that structure,
the momentum could fall away,
and then what's he going to do?
He's just going to crash.
You can't continue your life growing spiritually without you actively doing it,
without you actively contemplating it.
It's like someone who's walking on the edge of a river and he's blind.
It's not guaranteed he's going to fall,
but רעתו קרובה מהצלתו.
The danger,
the evil is more close,
is more likely than the fact that he's going to,
it's going to work out.
It might work out.
He might say,
"Look,
it worked out three times,
why isn't it going to work out this time?"
That's not a responsible way of leading your life.
כי אולם חסרון השמירה מפני העיוורון הטבעי ומפני העיוורון הרצוני דהיינו סתימת העיניים בבחירה
ובחפץ אחד הוא.
There's no difference between someone who can't see because he's blind,
and he naturally that he can't see,
or someone who chooses to close his eyes.
If someone's blind,
he's he's in a dangerous situation.
He knows he's in a dangerous situation.
He knows.
And therefore he says,
"Give me a dog,
give me a stick,
give me a person to hold their hand," because he knows that he's in
a dangerous situation,
so he's going to be careful.
If a person closes his eyes,
he's also in a dangerous situation.
Sometimes he's in he's in denial,
and he says,
"I'm okay,
I'm managing,
everything is okay."
Yeah,
but you're not managing.
You're not looking.
You're not seeing that you might fall.
"So I'll work it out,
everything is going to be okay."
There's no difference between someone who's blind or someone who's choosing to be blind.
Either way he's not looking.
Either way he may fall.
And ירמיהו,
he complained about this a lot.
היה מתאונן על רוע בני דורו מפני היותם נגועים בנגע המידה הזאת.
He would he would shout out to the people of his generation,
שהיו מעלימים עיניהם ממעשיהם בלי שישימו לב לראות מה הם.
They were ignoring,
not paying attention to their actions.
They weren't paying attention,
"Am I doing a good thing,
am I doing a bad thing?"
הן לעשות אם לעזוב.
I think I told this story before,
but I'll just repeat it.
There was Rabbi Berel Wein passed away,
was it last year?
And he,
before he moved to ארץ ישראל,
he was a rabbi of a שול in America.
And in the community,
there was someone who was a a swindler,
like someone who used to cheat people and take their money,
and and this guy had done this in the past.
And someone of his community,
of Rabbi Berel Wein's community,
came to him and said,
"Rabbi,
I've got this amazing deal I'm going to do," and started telling him,
starry-eyed,
about how much money he's going to make.
And Rabbi Wein said,
"Oh,
it sounds like wonderful.
Where did this idea come from?
Like,
who are you partnering with?"
And he said the name of this individual,
who Rabbi Berel Wein knew from previous experiences that this person was a a
trickster.
So Rabbi Berel Wein like stopped him and said,
"Listen very carefully.
I know this person.
What I'm telling you is לתועלת.
Stay far away from him.
Don't invest any money in him.
You're putting your money on the line.
You're going to lose everything."
And the guy said,
"But he promised me I'm going to make this,
I'm going to make this,
and he showed me all the guarantees,
and it's not a problem,
like he showed me the lawyer's document,
and..."
And Rabbi Wein said to him,
"Listen to me,
I'm telling you!
Like,
he's promising you the world,
you're going to end up with nothing."
The guy didn't listen.
He went through with the business deal.
The guy took all of his money,
and he came back penniless,
crying to Rabbi Berel Wein.
And what's Rabbi Berel Wein going to say?
"I told you so?"
He's not going to say that,
he's the rabbi of the community.
So he came to like encourage him and to strengthen him,
and But in the book,
he writes,
"But I told him!
But I told I mean,
it doesn't mean But I told him!"
Sometimes people are so blinded by the opportunity to make money,
in that case,
or other desires being fulfilled,
or comfort,
they just don't want to have the effort,
to have to work on,
to make a change,
that they they they they choose to be blind.
And even if someone is coming and telling them,
Berel Rabbi Berel Wein,
ירמיהו הנביא are coming and telling them,
"This is dangerous.
This is a great risk.
Your רעתו קרובה מהצלתו.
There is a chance you'll make money,
but the danger is much greater than the..."
But people choose not to listen.
There's some other fantasy that they have,
which is false,
but it gives them the dream,
it gives them a hope,
it gives them some idea that they'd rather hold onto than being responsible and
growth-oriented.
And there may be one in a million,
and believe me,
if there's one in a million they'll advertise those people and they'll,
"Look,
he did it and he made all this money!
Everyone,
you could be that one,
too!"
Yeah,
but there's another 999,000 who also invested money and they lost it.
So why are they only showing you the one picture,
the one guy who made it?
Because they want you to also lose money.
They want you to also invest and take your money as well.
So you can't choose that one odd person who some miracle happened to and
say,
"That's the way I want to live my life.
Look,
he didn't put in effort,
and he..."
I remember there was once someone in ישיבה who told me this story about
someone else who he knew who was very learned,
and this this person told me,
"And how would he learn?
How would this person learn?
He would learn slouched back on his chair,
and he had a toothpick that he would keep in his mouth."
I don't know why,
what was the ענין of the tooth He has a toothpick Huh?
It's cool.
"It's cool,
right?
He has a toothpick,
and he would like read the גמרא from here and turn the pages like
this."
And but he knew the גמרא really,
really well.
So this person said to me,
he says,
"That's the way I want to learn גמרא."
Like that,
he knew everything and he was like with the toothpick,
and I remember him like describing to me I know I met this other
person he was talking about.
The way he described it to me,
I remember thinking like I I don't know how it worked for him.
I don't know.
I don't know that other person who he is.
I don't know how it worked for him,
but it it's unlikely to work for you.
It's It's It's not the דרך which a person is going to become great
in תורה.
That's slouching back and the toothpick,
it's not the דרך of a gad— a גדול.
It's just not the דרך.
So you might say,
if I saw someone like that,
"Oh,
I want to be like that,
too."
And maybe there is someone who's chilled and laid-back and they're still a תלמיד
חכם,
but it's a miracle that that happens.
It's an exception.
But for a regular person to do it?
רעתו קרובה מהצלתו.
So ירמיהו הנביא,
like Rabbi Berel Wein,
was seeing the danger in front of him,
seeing people abandoning their responsible lives to irresponsible lives,
and they weren't thinking things through straight and they weren't being responsible and doing
a חשבון נפש,
ואמר להם,
אין איש נחם על רעתו לאמר.
These people,
they're not contemplating what they're doing,
they're not regretting the way they've lived the past when they see the negative
consequences.
כלו שב במרוצתם כסוס שוטף במלחמה.
They're like a horse running at war,
running and running and running because there's a great danger right in front of
them and they're just so caught up in the frenzy of moving forward and
earning money,
or whatever עבודה זרה,
each person has their different desires that they have which are pushing them to
do what they want to do,
they're not paying attention to what's really important.
שהיו רודפים והולכים במרוצת הרגלם ודרכיהם מבלי שיניחו זמן לעצמם לדקדק על המעשים והדרכים
ונמצא שהם נופלים ברעה בלי לראות אותה.
It was true then and it's true today.
I was talking to someone today,
someone Israeli,
who lived in America for a couple of years.
And he told me that it took him a while to understand what was
going on,
but I don't know where he lived in America or who he was with,
but the way he described it—I don't think this is typical of everyone in
America,
but this is the way he described it—he said that in America there's a
very,
very clear hierarchy judgment system of how wealthy you are.
And your worth is determined by your worth,
by how much money you have.
And and there's a clear like ranking,
that there's the people who are the very,
very,
very wealthy people,
and the people who are the wealthy people,
then there's the average people,
and then there's the poor people.
And it doesn't make a difference if a person has overcome a lot and
they're a sterling character,
in the broader American society,
if he made it big,
oh,
he made it big!
I've told this little story before,
once someone sitting next to me in ישיבה,
and he was talking to me about someone in America.
And he was trying to describing this person to me.
He said he started off learning in this ישיבה and then he learned in
that ישיבה,
and then he made it big.
So then I said,
"What,
he became the ראש ישיבה?"
He said,
"No!
Then he became a millionaire!"
And I said,
"Oh,
when you said he made it big,
I was sure you meant like big in תורה."
He said,
"No,
no."
He said,
"In America when you say he made it big,
that means he's he made it big.
Everyone knows what you mean when you say he made it big."
And so this Israeli today was telling me that like to him it was
like so interesting because like where's the inherent worth of a person's values,
their character traits,
their contribution,
things that to him were the way that he would judge people until now,
irrespective of their wealth and their bank account?
And then he came to America and that wasn't the same value system that
he'd seen from what he was used to.
It was a different value system.
Now let's say you move to a community like that,
and then suddenly everything is judged by the clothing that you wear,
the car that you drive,
the house that you live in,
the profession,
and that's like the that's the ranking,
that's the hierarchy.
You're going to get swept up with that.
The רמב״ם says that when you move to a certain place and there's certain
values,
then it's the nature for a person to adopt those values and get swept
away with those values as well.
So you're racing,
racing,
racing after the דרך of that place,
and what the values are in that place,
and they become your values,
too.
And having been to some established,
well-known university,
you've got a big label to your name,
oh,
very,
very חשוב!
And you've got this amazing,
fancy car that you drive,
wow,
you drive that car,
and you let people know that you drive that car.
And like that that's become that becomes your identity.
That becomes who you are.
And instead of seeing yourself as someone who's value-orientated,
that you care about מדות,
that you care about keeping הלכה,
that you care about helping other people,
and the things that are inherently valuable,
your identity,
חס ושלום,
becomes one of whatever everyone here considers חשוב,
which is how wealthy you are,
what status symbols you have.
And that what was that what was happening in the time of ירמיהו,
and in certain communities that's what's happening today,
where people are racing,
racing,
racing after particular goals to be the most חשוב,
but in in in terms that are determined not by תורה,
in terms that are determined by whatever Western society they're in or any society
they're in,
but it's a culture which is not a תורה culture.
And then their values become those values,
and then their דרך becomes that דרך.
And they're racing,
racing,
racing without pausing and saying,
"Is this good for my family?
Is this good for my יידישקייט?
Is this good for my relationship with הקדוש ברוך הוא?"
They don't ask those questions.
That's not the right question to ask.
ואולם,
הנה זאת האמת,
אחד מתחבולות היצר הרע וערמתו להכביד עבודתו עבודתו בתמידות על לבות בני אדם,
עד שלא ישאר להם רווח להתבונן ולהסתכל באיזה דרך הם הולכים.
One of the tricks of the יצר הרע,
he's very cunning in this area,
is to bog you down,
weigh you down so much,
get involved in so many things,
that you don't have any space to contemplate and to really look what's the
right path.
So,
if the if the יצר הרע would come to you and he would say
to you,
"Do an עבירה," it could be that you would say yes,
but it could be you would say,
"No,
it's an עבירה.
I'm not going to do that."
For a person who's got values and he's a תורה-oriented person,
if the יצר הרע just comes and says,
"Go smack him on the face," you'll say,
"No,
why?
I'm just going to go and smack someone on the face,
like why would I do that?"
Like it's too it's too brutal.
Some people would,
I know,
but like it's too it's too brutal,
it's too crude,
that you wouldn't just do it.
In Hebrew we'd say it's אכזרי,
it's cruel.
I'm not going to do that,
I'm not a cruel individual.
But if the יצר הרע would say to you,
"You've got to plan out שבת plans.
You've got to plan out next year's plans.
You've got to plan out how your חברותות are going.
You have to ruminate over decisions that you've made in the past," and your
mind is racing,
racing,
racing,
racing,
racing,
racing with all things that are neutral,
not עבירות,
not מצוות,
just neutral,
and your mind is fully,
fully occupied the whole time with all thoughts of the past and of the
future and what's going on and So then the יצר הרע has won,
because we we started today by saying that if you're passive,
then you're falling.
You have to be like a plant where you're watering it constantly in order
to grow.
And if you're not watering it constantly,
then it's going to die.
So the יצר הרע,
he doesn't need to come and tell you,
"Do an עבירה."
You're probably going to say no to him if he says that.
But if he gets you so bogged down,
so occupied with neutral things which don't have any value inherently,
but they're just talking about what's going on all the time where it's not
beneficial,
it's just ruminating again and again,
then he's מכביד עבודתו בתמידות.
He's weighing down on you everything that needs to take place on a constant
basis,
then you won't have any time to contemplate:
Where am I going?
Am I doing the right thing?
Am I growing as an individual?
Now,
why does the יצר הרע do that?
כי יודע הוא שאלו לא היו שמים לבם כמעט קט על דרכיהם.
The יצר הרע knows that if you'll pay attention,
even just a little bit,
how you're doing,
how you're growing,
even just a small amount,
פתחו לי פתח כחודו של מחט,
even if you open me the opening like an eye of a needle,
the tiniest amount,
then a person would start seeing the truth and the reality,
ודאי שמיד היו מתחילים להנחם ממעשיהם.
Of course,
they would stop and they would say,
"This isn't the right way of doing things.
I want to change."
והיתה החרטה הולכת ומתגברת.
And then your regret of how you're behaving until now would grow and grow,
עד שהיו עוזבים החטא לגמרי,
until eventually you would stop doing the עבירה.
משל למה הדבר דומה.
There were two mothers who were with their kids,
and the one mother,
her kids would just misbehave the whole time.
So what do you do if a kid misbehaves?
You shout.
"I told you a million times not to do that!"
Now,
that that's a funny thing to say,
right?
If she told them a million times and it didn't work,
then what's going to help trying one more time?
She's told them a million times.
It's not going to work,
right?
"I've told you a million times not to do this!"
And that mother,
her דרך of educating her children is clearly not working,
but she's so busy shouting at them and counting how many times she's told
them that it's not getting through.
And she's not changing her ways,
because that's the way that you educate.
You shout.
So they're they're they're together,
the two mothers and the two kids,
they're playing together,
and the child of the other mother misbehaves in a way that's even more
naughty than what her child did,
and she's looking and she's saying,
"That child's going to get it now.
He's going to get it."
And the mother of the other child puts her arm around the kid and
says,
"Look how he's feeling.
He built that whole castle with those those blocks,
and like he's really sad now.
That that wasn't a nice thing to do.
You're a good kid.
It's not appropriate for you to do something like that.
See how you can make him feel better.
Maybe help him to build it."
And the kid says,
"Okay."
And the kid goes and helps the other child,
and they start building it together,
and they carry on playing nicely,
and the other mother's standing there watching her,
"What just happened?
What What just happened?
I would have given it to my" And she says to her,
"If my son would have done that,
I would have given it to him."
And then the first mother says,
"And would that have helped?"
She said,
"Probably not."
Then she says,
"So why would you do that?"
She says,
"Because he misbehaved."
So she says,
"Yeah,
but why would you shout at him?"
She says,
"Because that's what you do."
And she says,
"Well,
does that help?"
She says,
"No,
but you have to let them know that it's wrong."
So,
then she says,
"Well,
why don't you just show them how it makes the other child feel,
and show them what to do to fix it?"
And she says,
"I never thought of that."
She's so busy,
occupied in the right way of חינוך.
I didn't even thought we're the wrong way.
I didn't even ask myself.
It's the way of חינוך!
That's what you do!
So what my parents did to me,
so what I'm going to do to my kids.
The truth is it didn't help me,
it didn't work for me either.
I'm not saying it's happening,
saying in this door.
Like,
the truth is,
it didn't help me so much.
It didn't wasn't so effective,
but that's just the way you do it!
That's just what you do.
That's what parents do to kids.
Everyone knows that.
You shout at your kids,
that's the right thing,
because the kids are misbehaving.
Suddenly,
she reassesses and says,
"Actually,
I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do."
But she could have not reassessed and gone her whole life,
and that's the way of the יצר הרע.
Don't think.
Just continue doing what you're doing until now.
And even if it's not working,
that doesn't matter.
That's what you do.
That's how you do it.
The יצר הרע,
he's not telling you to do an עבירה.
He's just telling you to carry on doing what you're doing without thinking it
through.
And then you'll carry on not growing.
You're not watering the plant.
The plant will eventually die.
Because the יצר הרע knows that if you were to pause and think,
and reflect,
is the way that I'm doing actually helping?
Is it making a difference?
The way that I'm behaving now,
is it making me a better person?
The way that I'm דאווענינג now,
is it bringing me close to Hashem?
The way that I'm learning now,
is it giving me more clarity in my learning?
The way that I'm relating to my parents now,
is it productive,
is it helpful?
If a person stops and contemplates,
they might find they're okay and they're doing the right things,
and they'll be happy.
They'll say,
"Okay,
it is,
ברוך השם,
I want to continue."
But they might find what they're doing is actually counterproductive.
It's actually pushing them away from the goal they wish to achieve.
And therefore,
the יצר הרע continues pushing them.
There was There was once a ישיבה,
and the boys started arguing about דרך הלימוד:
what's the right way to learn?
And they're arguing,
this way,
that way,
this way,
that way,
דרך הלימוד,
back and forth,
back and forth.
And רב איסר זלמן מלצר,
he walked past,
and he stopped to listen,
because he wanted to hear,
what's the קול תורה in the בית מדרש?
And he heard them arguing about דרך הלימוד.
And he said to the boys,
"The יצר הרע has you exactly where he wants you!
Argue,
is this the right way to learn,
is that the right to learn,
as long as you're not learning!
As long as you're not learning!"
Sometimes we get so caught up in the justifications of things or the way
of things,
that we're not doing the right thing.
And that was what פרעה did to עם ישראל.
It was the If you know,
in Hebrew,
the word פרעה is the שורש of the word להפריע,
to bother,
to interrupt,
to disturb.
It's the same word.
If a child is disturbing you,
you say,
"אל תפריע."
Maybe you shouldn't say that,
because we just learned that you find better ways of doing חינוך,
but that's the right That's the phrase that you would say.
"אתה מפריע לי!
You're bothering me."
The word פרעה is the same שורש,
פ ר ע,
of the word להפריע,
to bother.
Because that was פרעה's method that he used:
תכבד העבודה על האנשים.
They're thinking about coming close to Hashem?
Quick,
give them more work!
He didn't say,
"Make them bow down to idols."
He didn't force them to do עבודה זרה.
He doesn't need to.
Just distract them.
Let them be occupied in other things,
and then,
naturally,
they'll fall.
Naturally,
they won't be connected to Hashem.
תכבד העבודה על האנשים,
give them more work.
Some people choose to have their own פרעה,
that they give themselves more and more and more things to do,
and they take on more and more things,
which aren't even necessary and they're not important.
But they're just involved in lots of things at the expense of what's really
important.
And they ask themselves,
"Why don't I have time for my kids?
Why don't I have time for learning?
Why don't I have time to דאווען with a מנין?
Well,
I'm involved in this,
and I'm involved in this,
and I'm involved in this,
and I'm involved in this."
And some of these things are really critical,
like it's their פרנסה,
they need their פרנסה.
And some of these things are chasing after sports,
and chasing after media personalities,
and chasing after vacations,
and they're like involved in so many things!
But when they ask themselves,
what's really important in my life,
my kids,
my תורה,
my spirituality,
they don't have time for those things.
That's פרעה.
When you're so occupied in so many other things,
you don't have time for what's really important.
שהיה מתכוין שלא לבד שלא להניח להם רוח כלל לבל יתנו לב או ישימו
עצה נגדו.
פרעה,
his plan was not to give them any time at all,
not only they wouldn't be able to rebel against him,
אלא היה משתדל להפריע לבם מכל התבוננות.
His goal was to take away any free choice that they had to contemplate
anything at all,
בהתמדת עבודה בלתי מופסקת,
by having them involved again and again and again,
constantly.
Just tell one final story on the way out.
It was about 20 years ago,
and my wife's cousin had twins.
And her parents,
his parents,
lived in America.
And it and and they're lawyers.
And it was a season where was very,
very,
very busy for them in the law firm that they were in.
And they were debating whether to come or not to come.
They were going to come later,
but to come for the ברית.
They were definitely going to come later,
but that season was very busy.
And eventually they decided to come.
And the,
the aunt,
my wife's aunt,
she gave a speech and she said,
"I thought to myself,
at the end of my life I'm going to look back.
And what am I not going to ask myself?
Am I going to say,
did I regret coming to Israel,
for being here for the ברית,
when I could have done more work?
There's no way I'm going to regret that.
But will I say the other way around?
I'll regret not being here with my family because I had work to do
in the law firm?
That I definitely would say.
So I just zoomed out of myself for a minute,
and I said,
looking back,
when I'm clarifying what my real authentic values are,
what will I say?
What are my real values?"
And she had the foresight to be able to identify and say,
this is what's really important to me.
I'm involved in other things,
and right now in the law firm it seems like nothing else in the
world matters because we have to get this deal through.
But actually there's higher values,
more important values.
And she was able to zoom out.
I don't know if she lost the deal or didn't lose the deal,
but she won the deal,
because she was there for her family at a time when they needed her,
and they wanted to be with her,
and they were united and together at that time.
And that's the challenge of פרעה,
and that's our success,
when we're able to zoom out and say,
"I have higher values than what's currently occupying me and distracting me,
and I'm choosing השם."
יישר כח.