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A Wedding Business Podcast - Tips and tricks to, grow and sustain a amazingly successful wedding business in a way that's is fun and gives you tons of freedom.
Welcome everyone to the Wedding Pro Academy Podcast. I'm Nicole, your host. I'm an expert in the wedding industry and I've personally built two 6 figure businesses from the ground up. I am obsessed with building businesses that make lots of money but do so in a way that also create luxurious amounts of freedom. So, if you're looking to build, grow, or scale a wedding business in a way that doesn't burn you out, and you'd love some guidance from someone who has done just that, this podcast is for you.
Nicole:Each week I'll cover strategies, ideas, tips, and tricks that will give you your dream wedding business too. Thanks so much for tuning in today. Now let's dive in! Hi everyone! Welcome back to another episode of Wedding Pro Academy.
Nicole:This is episode 65. I took a little break there because if you've been listening for a while you know I'm in Hawaii and we got bombed with weather lately so I've had to deal with a little bit of you know, real life problems like our roof blew off, I'm in an area where there's flooding, there's that kind of stuff going on and yeah so that's what I've been up to and I haven't been forgetting about you guys. I got my roof repaired. It's absolutely crazy here there's just like so much going on we got hit with three storms basically within what like a month and a half two months something like that but it looks like the weather is getting better we're on the upswing we're doing okay I got my roof fixed which has been amazing and I'm back! So today I have a really fun little quick episode for you and I think you'll find it helpful because I I really think this is what a lot of you guys are missing and something that took me years to develop and if you can try to embrace this now it's going to be so beneficial for you.
Nicole:So today's episode is stop being tested why couples actually want you to take the lead. So what I see happening is when you're newer, you'd haven't yet built up this confidence within yourself, and it can feel like couples are testing you. Like, they're quizzing you, you know, and you're kind of just molding to do whatever they want you to do. I used to sometimes feel like I was theirs their servant or their slave, and I was just doing all the things that they wanted me to do and I didn't yet have the confidence to say this actually doesn't work or this would work better or I'm not doing that because I didn't I wasn't in a place where I had stepped into my authority yet. So, in the beginning it will feel like couples are trying to test you.
Nicole:It'll feel like an interview but it's actually more about uncertainty. So what happens is that the bride and groom, they just don't know what they're doing. They're emotional. They're stressed out. They don't know anything.
Nicole:They feel like they need to quiz you and, like, get all this stuff, but really they just don't know as much as you do. And you know more because you're the expert. Right? This is what you do for a living, and I don't care if you're brand new. You have done more weddings than them.
Nicole:You know more about it, and they want to hire someone who knows more than them. So what happens is they're leading with emotion, and what they're actually looking for is not answers to all their questions. They're looking for someone to lead them from a place of groundedness, calm, of professional real knowledge. That's what they actually want. So here's the misconception.
Nicole:Planners think that the bride and groom are wanting all this stuff, and you think you need to prove yourself. But in reality, couples are just overwhelmed. They're stressed out, and they're not really evaluating you. They just don't know what to do, and they think what they need to do is quiz you to get answers and see what they can get out of you. And when you stay passive, when you just let them tell you what to do and continue to lead, it creates doubt.
Nicole:Doubt towards you. They're not trusting you as an authority in the business. So, what they're really looking for is guidance. They don't want more information they want guidance and you have that guidance because you are good at this this is what you do they want leadership okay they don't want more options they don't want to know oh, you can do this, but it's gonna cost this much money, or you could do this, or you could do this. No.
Nicole:What they want is for you to say, here's the best possible option. They want you to listen to them. Here's okay. Let me listen to all the things you want. And then let me tell you from my position of authority because I've been doing this for a long time, and I know all the things having to do with weddings.
Nicole:Let me tell you what's best. Here's what I think is the best possible option. Here's what I would do if I were in your place, and here's why. Here's why this is the best option for you. Now, when you come at it this way, they're going to feel guided.
Nicole:They're gonna feel led. They're gonna be feel like they're taken care of. And when they start feeling like you're leading them, they start to trust you. Once you're leading with confidence and they trust you, then they're all in. Right?
Nicole:But not only that, it also ensures that they're gonna have a good wedding because who knows best? You do. So get behind that. You have to really, really, like, trust in your authority and all of the knowledge you've acquired because you know what's best. You know how this is going play out.
Nicole:You know all the things that are going to pop up that they don't know that's going to make things terrible. You know how to avoid them. So, you have all this knowledge. Take it and give them the best possible options. Guide them.
Nicole:So, I'll give you an example. When you're going into a consult with a bride and groom and you're not leading with confidence and authority and instead you let them lead, usually the way this looks is that they're asking you a bunch of questions they're like so tell me how many weddings have you done and you have to think like oh my god I've done like 20 weddings 22 should I lie blah blah blah Then they're like, have you worked? Which venues have you worked at? And they have this whole list of questions. Right?
Nicole:They're now making you feel scattered, like you have to be on the defense, like you have to prove to them that you are worth the money. But here's the thing. None of those questions matter because the only thing that matters is can you give them the wedding of their dreams? Can you give them the experience that they want? And the only way you're gonna know if you can do that is to get a feel for what their vision is and what they're wanting.
Nicole:Way you figure that out is by taking the lead. If you lead then there's a very structured calm clear direction and you need to lead from the start. Don't let them take charge and attack you with questions because then you're gonna plant doubt in them and you're gonna get into a place where you're answering questions that aren't really even necessary in their decision. So you want to walk them through this process of like, let me know what your vision is, what you're looking for, what your budget is, tell me all the things, then I will give you the best possible option. I will give you the package that is the best fit for you.
Nicole:I will give you what I think is the best plan and here's why. This is going to show your authority. This is going to make them see you as a professional. This is going to make them trust you. Showing up with confidence in this way makes them see you as the obvious choice.
Nicole:People trust professionals who guide them. Right? They're not going to trust someone who is just, you know, waiting and at the end, after they've quiz you with a bunch of questions, you're going be like, oh, by the way, here's my packages. Like, you've already lost them. Here's another example, something that happened recently for me.
Nicole:I was doing this wedding last week Friday and it was like an it was like the final Kona low storm and this couple, the bride, had this dream, this fairytale of wanting to get married outside in a rainforest. Now, the forecast calls for a 100% rain that day. A 100%. The mayor the governor of our state closes all the schools, all the state offices, closes all the botanical gardens where her wedding was supposed to take place. He's basically prepping for another flood because we've had one before.
Nicole:So I already know that this is a bad idea to have the wedding outside for one, and two, we can't have it there because it's closed. Like, it's literally not going to be open. So, my thought initially is I need to have some backup plans. I came up with some backup plans, indoor options with, you know, garden feel outside so that she could still have that backdrop but be covered and I put together an email with a list of options that I had already researched that I had already figured out for her before I contacted her. So I send them these options I'm like here's what's going on here's what I think we should do let me know what your preference is and we can talk it through.
Nicole:I send them this email, talk to the groom, everything's good, they're like oh let's do this beach house that has this awesome you know greenery section that we can have ceremony, but it's covered. And, you know, it's gonna cost a little bit of money, but it'll be worth it because this is her dream to get married with the green background. It's not exactly what she wanted, but it's the best we can do it, and we have to do it on this date. So I set everything up, then at midnight, this is the night before her wedding, she sends me this long text message about how she's freaking out because this is not what she dreamed of. She had she had wanted a guarded wedding and she doesn't understand why she couldn't just get married outside regardless of the rain.
Nicole:Now, me being a professional at this, I know what's going to happen. I know that the guests are going to be unhappy. I know that her feet are going to be all wet even if we have umbrellas. I know that we're not even going to be able to see a background because it's raining so hard outside. I know I won't be able to move the flowers.
Nicole:I know there's all these things that are going to come into play that are going to make her day miserable. Now, I could try to find a place for her to make her happy, or I could stand in my authority and in my confidence and in my decision knowing that I picked the best possible options and she is going to be happy with this more than if she is outside in the dumping rain. So, what I did is I when I got that message I called her in the morning and I explained here's why I gave you these options, here's why I think it's the best. I know it's not what you dreamed. I want to make this as beautiful as possible for you and I still want this to be your dream day.
Nicole:So if there's anything you want to talk through with me, please give me a call. I'm available all morning. I gave her a call. She didn't answer. I talked to her fiance, he was like she was up all night but she'll be okay.
Nicole:Then when we get to the place in the morning all the guests start showing up and they're all so happy because it's dumping rain outside, and they're covered in this beautiful house with the ocean backdrop and a side area that looks like a botanical garden. It was perfect. Right? I knew this place was perfect. I knew she was gonna love it.
Nicole:I trusted in my gut. I was confident about it, and I stood behind that. Now because I stood behind that, when she showed up, when he showed up, she was like, oh my god, Nicole. I love it. Like, of course you love it.
Nicole:I knew you were gonna love it, but I could have let her sway me because she was stressed out and all this stuff, and she was pushing me to allow her to just go get married in any garden. She just wanted to be outside, and I was like, no. You're not going to be happy there. I know it. And I stood in that decision confidently.
Nicole:Now, because I stood in that decision confidently, she and everyone else started to trust me. When I had that trust behind me and everyone started showing up, everybody could feel that grounded, very, you know, authoritative energy that I was holding and everybody that showed up was super happy and at the end the bride came over she apologized to me she thanked me profusely she gave me an amazing wonderfully gracious tip And then she even sent me another text message later and a message on Instagram too because she was so happy with how it turned out. And that was because I, being the authority as the wedding planner in this situation, I knew what she was going to be happy with. She didn't know what it would look like there. She didn't know what it was going to be like outside.
Nicole:She didn't know any of those things. She was just, you know, overwhelmed, filled with emotions because her dream day wasn't going to be what she thought. But I knew that the best possible option where she was going to be happiest was this other option just based on the situation. And she ended up loving it. So, what happened is, like, when I stepped into my authority and my confidence, and I I gained everybody's trust, and they ended up being happy.
Nicole:So the situation worked out. Everybody was happy, and I was able to lead them instead of letting her lead me. You know? And that is so so important with all weddings. And I can't tell you how many times this comes up when you're working with a couple where they have these big ideas and they want this and that and that, but it's like not possible.
Nicole:But there is this other option that is possible that is better and you know why so you have to get behind that and be able to explain it to them and to stand in that authority stand in your confidence so here's the lesson be confident in who you are and your abilities and what you're doing in your professionalism you know this better than them when you are confident and you are making decisions that are best for them they are going to trust you to lead them it's not about being perfect it's about being willing to lead when it matters And okay, so what is this? What kind of effect is this going to have in your business if you're able to embody this sort of grounded leadership authority role? It's going to give you more bookings because people trust leaders. They trust professionals. They trust people, planners, you know, wedding photographers.
Nicole:They trust vendors that have confidence and that can stand behind it. You are going to be perceived as a greater value because you're going to be seen as the expert. That's kind of the whole point here. You want to be seen as the expert and bonus, you're going to have better weddings. Your wedding experiences are going to be better because you're setting them up to win because you know what's best.
Nicole:You are the pro at this. They don't know what's best. They need to be guided to see what's best. And you're gonna have a better client overall experience, which means you're gonna get better testimonials and better reviews, which is gonna bring you more business. It's just like cycle of goodness that you wanna get into.
Nicole:So, in conclusion, confidence is not about knowing everything. You don't have to know all the answers, you just have to be willing to lead and step into the role as a leader. Couples aren't hiring you because they have all the answers. In fact, they don't have many answers at all. They're hiring you because they don't know anything.
Nicole:And they're a little emotional and they need someone to guide and lead them. They need someone to step in, make decisions, guide them through the moments that they've never experienced before that you have. So when you stop trying to prove yourself and start leading with authority, with confidence, everything's gonna change. You're gonna book more weddings. You're gonna create better and your couples are gonna have, you know, dream weddings.
Nicole:And they're gonna feel cared for and led instead of overwhelmed and stressed out. So the next time you're a on consult, next time you're leading a wedding, I want you to think about this and really try to implement being a leader, being an authority, and stepping into this confidence because you've got it. This is who you are. This is what you're good at. So don't, like hide don't let them lead you you are the leader here and once you step into that role everything changes like this and you're building a wedding business from scratch or you're in the early stages and you would like some help definitely check out weddingproacademy.com The course will be open again soon to purchase and it will help you to step into this authoritative role to book more weddings, to make more money in your wedding business, and to basically get there quicker than I ever did because I'm giving you all this all the shit that I wish I knew in my first six months of weddings.
Nicole:So It doesn't take you like five years to get established. You can jump right in. You can start booking weddings. You can start being seen as the authority right away so that couples trust you and are willing to pay you money. Alright guys, bye for now.
Nicole:Have a great weekend.