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Blindsighted isn’t just a podcast—it’s a lifeline for those walking through the darkest valleys. Hosted by Karen and Todd Hornsby, this raw and unfiltered series invites you into a story marked by unimaginable pain, loss, and suffering.
But this isn’t just about our story. It’s about YOUR story, too.
We’re not here to sugarcoat suffering or offer feel-good inspiration that fades by morning. We’re here to validate the ache, the confusion, and the questions that come when life doesn’t make sense—and when God feels far away.
The name Blindsighted is rooted in the phenomenon of “blindsight”—where people without sight are still drawn to light they cannot see. That’s what faith feels like sometimes. And in our journey, we’ve learned:
- Faith doesn’t make life easy—it makes it possible.
- Trusting God’s plan doesn’t mean understanding it.
- Victory doesn’t mean escaping suffering—it means enduring with strength, honesty, and hope.
Each episode of Blindsighted peels back the layers of our journey through our daughter’s cancer battle, a near-fatal car accident, health diagnoses, and more. We speak candidly about the moments that broke us—and the God who met us there.
If you’re walking through something that feels impossible, we want you to know: you're not alone. There’s light—even if you can’t see it yet.
Join us. Let’s find victory in the midst of suffering, together.
Welcome back to another season of Blindsighted where we share our family story and how together we can find victory in the midst of suffering. In this season, we journey back to 02/2004, the year Todd returned home after serving fourteen months in Iraq, and how the dust of war hadn't even settled before another battle began. When Todd stepped off that plane, he wasn't just returning as a soldier. He was returning as a husband who had missed his wife's tears and to be a father to his baby girl, now eight months old. The world had moved on while he was gone, yet for him, it still echoed with the sounds of gunfire, convoy, and commands.
Speaker 1:The radar that kept him alive overseas refused to turn off here. The constant scanning, the restless nights, the way he gripped the steering wheel as if every turn could hold danger. It was if the war had followed him home. And for me, I was no longer the same woman he left behind. I had learned to survive without him, to carry the weight of motherhood alone.
Speaker 1:So when he returned, our hearts had to learn how to beat and rhythm again. But somewhere in that messy, beautiful chaos of readjusting, we found the sacred truth that would anchor us through everything that came next. We quickly learned that a healthy marriage creates a healthy family, and that healing doesn't begin with the absence of battle, but in choosing to fight together. Finally, we thought the battle was behind us. And for eighteen beautiful, blissful months, it was until the phone rang.
Speaker 1:Once again, our world shifted on its axis as we listened to a report from a doctor that made no sense. Now here we are. Just when life felt settled, another battle was already forming, one that would once again test our faith, our strength, and our promise to each other. This is a story of returning home and how we discovered that some of the fiercest battles are fought long after the smoke has cleared. Welcome to season three of blindsided.
Speaker 1:So welcome back, babe. Here we are, season three, which is kinda crazy to think about.
Speaker 2:Time flies when you're having fun.
Speaker 1:Time flies when you're having fun for sure. We are somewhat excited to do this season. We have some mixed emotions about it as we were preparing for this season. You and I both had mutual feelings about how we're ready to share this section of the story, but it is gonna require that you and I kinda dig out some things that we've kinda put away for many years now just to help guard our hearts and minds to stay sane.
Speaker 2:It's gonna be bittersweet.
Speaker 1:It is. It's gonna be bittersweet. And for those who have not listened to our previous seasons, we highly recommend that they go back and listen to seasons.
Speaker 2:It's a requirement. I I would ask why they haven't already done it. Season one, season two.
Speaker 1:Season one, season two. And so in for those that haven't heard season one or two and kinda know where we left off in season two, In season two, we were where you had just returned from fourteen months in Iraq while I had given birth to Gabby. So talk talk to us a little bit real quick about what that was like when you all got back. I'll kinda share a few things too of what it was like for us new moms, and maybe from there, we'll start trying to dag I mean, maybe from there, we'll start digging into what it was like.
Speaker 2:Sure. So in in this season, I'm coming back from Iraq. This was 02/2004, and they didn't have the same protocols and therapy and all these procedures in place that I'm sure they have now. Because we were transitioning from being soldiers in a war zone to coming back home and it wasn't like you were active duty and you're going back to your base. We were going back to be, you know, citizens.
Speaker 2:Know, that whole citizen soldier thing is a humongous shift. And we got one lecture basically pretty much saying take plenty of deep breaths, don't get too angry or upset, don't punch anybody or anything. That was really it. We really didn't get equipped in how difficult it was going to be going from Iraq and trying to keep from you not getting killed or your battle buddy not getting killed to coming home and trying to figure out how to be a husband and a father.
Speaker 1:Right. That kinda leads into where you and I were and what that looked like for us. So on my side of things, when you left, and for you as well, you were just a husband. Now when you come back, you have a new role, and it's daddy. Now you have to be a daddy to this little girl that God blessed us with.
Speaker 1:And it was interesting for us new moms because you and I were not the only ones that gave birth to our first child while you all were deployed. And I remember some of us moms talking to each other saying the one thing that we kinda worried about was, will her little one recognize their daddy? And that was a little bit of a a a I don't wanna say fear. It was just something I was curious to see what it was gonna look like. Of course, we knew that she was gonna ultimately take to you and know who you were and and all this stuff.
Speaker 2:Get fed, she was. If you want that bottle, you better come on over here to dad. You're so cute.
Speaker 1:Anyway, so we were really concerned. Again, not really concerned, curious of what it would look like. I, of course, showed Gabby pictures and talked about you at ad nauseam while you were gone, but all of you all looked exactly the same. You were wearing the same outfit. Your hair was cut the same.
Speaker 1:All of you were a little tan. So it was interesting for us. I know even I was, you know, struggling to find which one you were. So it was one of the things that I found to be the most beautiful part when we finally got together as a family is that when you all were released and at the armory, and you all come to us and Gabby immediately took to you. It was it was a beautiful moment.
Speaker 1:It was super fun. It was so my heart was exploding with pride. Not just for that, but we were also proud wives that you all were back home safe. And I know that you said one soldier did lose his life.
Speaker 2:Yeah. He did. Well, he
Speaker 1:was over there, which is really tough for that family. But now that it was behind us and we were all you all were back home, we were all very excited to go back and start the, quote, unquote, normal life, the American dream.
Speaker 2:Right? Absolutely. That was a great moment that you're describing at the armory with all the families there, all the soldiers there because you have to think about we talked about our families all the time. And of course, I talked about you and Gabby. So it was just an amazing time for all the guys to see your family, your your wife, your kids, mom and dad, grandparents, it really brought some needed closure.
Speaker 2:And it really was a good bookend to kind of put that chapter behind us. Okay, Yes. We're we're turning off being soldiers. And now, as you've said, we're turning on being husbands and fathers and coworkers and friends. All these things that we had to lay down.
Speaker 2:Now we're picking them back up. And we had no clue how difficult that was gonna be.
Speaker 1:Yeah. There's no there's no manual for that. Right?
Speaker 2:The well, they didn't have a manual then. They probably have a manual for it now.
Speaker 1:Maybe so.
Speaker 2:But in there again, it was such a huge change because we were literally going from being a soldier to a citizen again. So yeah, it was uncharted territory.
Speaker 1:How would how did you feel when you got back and you were was there anything you were concerned about, excited about when you came home knowing what you were about to step into?
Speaker 2:A lot of concern, a lot of excitement. I remember it was hard to shut off that security mindset. I guess I've always kind of been that way. But I remember getting home, I would wake up in the middle of the night and go check the doors to make sure they were locked. I remember that I was a very aggressive driver.
Speaker 1:Yes, you were.
Speaker 2:And the reason for that, the very short version, in Iraq, we were going on convoys all throughout Baghdad. Well, one of the things that our I guess you would call them our enemy, the terrorist, whatever term you wanna use them, folks who wanted us dead. Yeah. They would pull out in front of us on a motor scooter, motorcycle, car, whatever, and they would basically almost stop in front of the convoy or drive really slowly. So we had to go slowly and they had improvised explosive devices, IEDs, which were basically artillery rounds that they had rigged.
Speaker 2:So when you went by them, and so there was basically a kill zone, and they would detonate those huge artillery rounds, and it will cause carnage and chaos, and it would pretty much kill or destroy anything in its path. So we were told, if someone pulls in front of you and go slow, you run them over, you get them out of your way, because we're not going to be in that kill zone. And that's what we did. We would run people off the road unapologetically on our big Versus That was not a problem. We did that for many, many months.
Speaker 2:So when I got home Yes. I I was an aggressive driver. I never had been that way before. And I was cutting people off. And one day, and I know you're like, hey, babe, maybe maybe I need to drive for a while.
Speaker 1:Should drive still.
Speaker 2:Maybe we need to send you back to get your driver's license again. And one day just kind of came to me, I'm like, what are you doing? I got to stop doing this. I'm going to wind up hurting somebody, hurting myself, getting in a fight with somebody. So that was one of the things I had to kind of decompress.
Speaker 1:It's so interesting. No one really I've never thought about that. I don't see no one. I never think about those kind of things, you know, that you all have to adjust to when you get back. I mean, I remember watching you surveying everywhere we were at as well.
Speaker 1:And and like you said, you've always had a little bit of, you know, what's the word I'm looking for? Always, public safety. That's what I'm looking for. You've always had a sense of public safety, wanna always make sure everything around you looked safe and but it was definitely amplified after you returned from Iraq.
Speaker 2:So It was Being around large crowds Yeah. Was a problem. And so there was that. And the other part of the question you asked, what was I excited about or concerned about? Being a dad and being a husband, specifically for the moment, being a dad, you already had policies, procedures, routines in place for Gabby, how Gabby got fed.
Speaker 2:This is what we do here. This is what we do there for you and all the family. I wanted to be a part of that. I wanted to be an asset. I wanted to plug in and do my part because you'd been doing all the heavy lifting for many months.
Speaker 2:So I wanted to get involved in that and not disturb that. And that was kind of a kind of difficult because you had it down to a fine art.
Speaker 1:I did. You're right. It was it was hard for me to relinquish some of those duties because I was just it was just a knee jerk reaction for me to immediately take care of her little needs. And then like, oh, daddy's back home. You know, daddy can do diaper duty today.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow. Yes. That's super exciting.
Speaker 1:I know. It was fun. I remember watching you feed her for the first time. That was quite fun. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You're right. I was still working. Thankfully, we had family around that were able to assist Yes. While
Speaker 2:Thank God.
Speaker 1:Thank God for family. Thank you, Lord. We are incredibly blessed in that area. Your your parents and my parents always were available to me and have always been available to us through our entire marriage to assist us wherever we needed. So you and I definitely count our blessings when it comes to our support system.
Speaker 1:So, thankfully, I had a great support system while you were gone, and it was a little bit of adjustment. No doubt about it. I'm sure there's many military families that are hearing us now that can 1000% relate to adjusting to what it's like to share share your time now and split your time between, you know, your your newborn and your husband. Because what we have noticed, and I guess this would be a good moment for us to segue into some of the lesson that we walked away with in this particular season, is that if you're not very careful, we can be very, very quick to put our child first versus our marriage first. That was something you and I had to be very intentional about early on.
Speaker 1:Would you agree?
Speaker 2:We did. And we'll get into it later about how even more difficult that became with some of the difficulties and issues we had to deal with with Gabby.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Because we had to keep circling back to that for sure.
Speaker 2:We absolutely did. And you're right. It is easy to put your kid first. And there's nothing wrong with just wanting to pour into your child. I mean, that's great.
Speaker 2:And we always want better for our kids than we had.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That being said, if you don't have a strong marriage, then your kids are going to suffer. So you can't get the cart ahead of the horse. The Bible clearly says in Ephesians and Colossians that the wife is to submit to her husband and the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. And then it talks about how children are supposed to obey their parents and this pleases God. So let's not lose sight of that.
Speaker 1:I mean the Bible does have a hierarchy, right?
Speaker 2:It does. And the Bible clearly says and God knows that a strong Christian family marriage
Speaker 1:Marriage.
Speaker 2:And then the family is the cornerstone of this country.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I've heard someone call it the nucleus of society because the way I've always viewed it and understood it is if if the enemy can start destroying marriages, he can slowly start destroying the church. And quickly, you and I learned that if you and I were healthy, then our family was healthy. You me, you, and Gabby. So it was something we had to be intentional.
Speaker 1:Satan definitely fought it. I mean, since the very beginning, season one, the enemy was for sure after our marriage. But the this was a new way, a new strategy. It seemed like the enemy was trying to use was this newborn that now we were just pouring into, pouring into. And for me, more specifically, because she was all I was pouring into for the eight months that she was alive until you got home because she was eight months old when eight months old when you finally got back.
Speaker 1:Sure. It was quite an interesting shift. And I would I would definitely encourage couples if they're listening and they're struggling that maybe check, you know, do an evaluation. Are you are you being intentional about putting your spouse first? Are you taking the necessary steps to fulfill them?
Speaker 1:Because we could always sense and again, I don't wanna get too far ahead, but you and I could always sense that Gabby could sense if something wasn't right. And For sure. It was it to to keep our whole family healthy, we had to to work and making sure that we were serving each other very well. I know recently there's been a, you know, big event in in America with the assassination of Charlie Kirk, and we've been following that pretty pretty heavily. One of the things though that I heard Erica Kirk, Charlie Kirk's wife, say that was really, really good that I hope every husband and wife hears, if there's nothing else they would listen to from this couple is this, that he would always ask her every day, how can I serve you well today?
Speaker 1:That is so so great, So pleasing to the Lord that we're constantly saying, hey, what can I do to serve you today to make sure that your cup is full? It's truly honestly what God would want us to do.
Speaker 2:I absolutely agree with that. And it was a little difficult to kind of remember what you needed to do to be a husband or a wife again because we had kind of got out of practice for all those months that we weren't together and yet set the stage two. I wasn't able to be home when Gabby was born. And And as I've heard you say before, you and all the wives and the families were so proud of us when we got home and the things we accomplished, whether you agreed with the war or not, we did what we were supposed to do. We did it well.
Speaker 2:And that was a proud moment. But there was some animosity there, you know, consciously or subconsciously not being able to be home when the child is born and you having to do everything pretty much by yourself or at least me not be in there. We had to work through some some situations, and it was kind of a rocky road at times.
Speaker 1:It was a rocky road, but we really leaned into our faith. We knew that this is what God wanted us to do. We knew that God was going to help us serve one another, and we both determined that our marriage was going to be first, Gabby second, and we knew that she would benefit from us putting our marriage first. So if we wanted her healthy, we had to be healthy.
Speaker 2:And as you said, you you we had to be intentional.
Speaker 1:Yeah. We had to be intentional. So I know that we've kind of recapped that. So we finally get back home and start trying to live our American dream as it's often referred to. And we had a wonderful fourteen, eighteen months, I guess, when you
Speaker 2:About eighteen months.
Speaker 1:Yeah. It was really great. Gabby was just an absolute joy. Everything we ever prayed for and more. You were and her were so close.
Speaker 1:She looked a lot like you too.
Speaker 2:She looked like me and acted like you.
Speaker 1:I was she was. She was a little she was a little lunchkin. That was for sure. A little mischievous maybe. I don't know.
Speaker 2:But she as you say, she was such an easy kid to raise.
Speaker 1:She was. She was very easy. Yeah.
Speaker 2:To the point we didn't wanna have anymore because we we knew the next one would be a little hellion.
Speaker 1:We actually did say that, didn't we? We said, no. Let's not risk it. This one's so perfect. We better not not try because I'm not sure what we would have gotten.
Speaker 2:She would even decide when she was ready to go to bed and she was sleepy. She would just Yeah. She would run to the bed and get in the bed and go to sleep.
Speaker 1:She sure would. She absolutely would. She was. She was perfect to us, but don't ever parent say that. Yes.
Speaker 1:If you're a good parent, you would.
Speaker 2:Yeah. But the difference is we're telling the truth.
Speaker 1:Oh, I hope people continue to listen to our podcast after that. I'm sure your angels are amazing. So with that, we were very excited for the life that we were living. We were already planning big things. What's next steps?
Speaker 2:So many hopes and dreams.
Speaker 1:Hopes and dreams. So you and I finally got back in the routine of things. You're back at work. I'm still doing my work thing as well. Unfortunately, though, however, even though those fourteen to eighteen months were absolutely blissful, we got another phone call.
Speaker 1:And it was a phone call that kinda took our breath away, like, completely unexpected. What's going on here? And that phone call was related to some illness that you had been experiencing.
Speaker 2:Yes. So I wasn't feeling well and I was having some symptoms that after much discussion and concern and conviction on your part.
Speaker 1:Basically me forcing you to go to the doctor.
Speaker 2:You could say it that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I went to a urologist. And they did an examination, did some lab work. And that lab work came back. And based on the results, I got a phone call middle of the day work day. And they said, we need you to come on to the hospital, we need to prep you for surgery.
Speaker 2:We want to do surgery in four hours. And I was like, can I get a second opinion on this? Yeah. And of course I asked questions and like, we'll get into all that once we get here. And in the back of my mind I knew, well it's got to be cancer.
Speaker 2:If you're going to have surgery the same day based on test results, it's got to be cancer. So I called you and basically told you what I was told, which was not much other than come on to the hospital, I'm going to have surgery a few hours later and I know your head was about to explode. We quickly started calling family and friends, know, come to the hospital if you would like but definitely pray. I will say the silver lining, I didn't have much time to think about it or ponder it.
Speaker 1:Hey, I mean, there is that.
Speaker 2:So I went in and had the surgery and it was testicular cancer. And the surgery was very successful. And of course it was scary. Yeah. You know, because we just kind of made it through one season and life is good and kind of gaining some ground.
Speaker 1:Worst is behind us, right?
Speaker 2:So were
Speaker 1:kind of thinking.
Speaker 2:The storms of life are past. The wars are over. And then you get this cancer diagnosis. But thankfully it was very successful and my doctors told me, Hey, we don't think we're going to have to do any chemo or radiation. We're just going to do observation.
Speaker 2:Every three months we're going to MRI, PET scan. I'm like, wow.
Speaker 1:Observation sounds great. Right. Well, because they said that they called it at such an early stage.
Speaker 2:Correct.
Speaker 1:I mean, we need to preface that to to talk about what a miracle that is because from what my understanding was specifically at that time, and to be honest, I haven't researched it much since. And this was what? Twenty ish years ago or something like that? I mean, it was it's been a while.
Speaker 2:I was in it it was absolutely at least twenty years ago. I was in my early thirties Yeah. Which is so crazy because the last thing on on your mind in your early thirties is getting cancer. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So they they from what I know is that usually, you've had testicular cancer for a while and that it's throughout most of your body before you really know, wow, I got testicular cancer. I mean, I think it was Lance Armstrong what it had spread to his brain
Speaker 2:It was.
Speaker 1:By the time that they had established this.
Speaker 2:They had actually told me the symptoms I had that caused me to go in, they said were unrelated to the cancer. So it's just the hand of God. It was absolutely another miracle. You're right. We're not over exaggerating that.
Speaker 2:It truly was. They're like, we don't know how this symptom occurred because it's not related to the cancer. But thankfully, it caused you to come in because you're right, knows? Right. You know, how much it would have spread because I would have been in no hurry to have went to the doctor.
Speaker 1:That is for sure. It's absolutely the truth. So, yeah, that was quite a moment. Thank it was it was such a shock to our system because you've been a, like, a perfect bill of health all of your life. For those that don't really know you very well, you've always been really into fitness.
Speaker 1:And so you were the last one of any of us in our family that we'd have thought would have been dead diagnosed with with cancer. So it was I'm so thankful that God's moving when we don't know that he is. Absolutely. He's providing and and things that you are confused about. God's using it to get you to a place that he needs you to be.
Speaker 1:So we're so thankful that that that God protected you and not have to go through so much of chemotherapy and radiation and all those things at the time. So once again, you and I are at this point where we're finally looking back and saying, oh, wow. What a journey it's been.
Speaker 2:Taking another deep breath.
Speaker 1:Taking another deep breath. Again, thinking the worst is behind us. What else could possibly happen?
Speaker 2:Yeah. We've we've had burning cars. We've almost been shot by the federales on our crews. We've had to deal with war. We've had to deal with cancer.
Speaker 2:Told you couldn't have a child. Oh, yes. Yeah. They're just All the things. Tragedies and miracles just stacking on top of each other.
Speaker 1:And now here you are with this surgery cancer free. And we're like, whew, let's breathe Let's breathe again.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And that's what we did for about four or five months. We were breathing. And then in October 2005, the world turned on its axis one more time. It's strange, isn't it? How peace can feel like a mirage.
Speaker 1:One moment, you're standing in the warmth of answered prayers, a healthy husband, a happy child, a home finally filled with laughter again. And then before you even have time to exhale, life shifts. We had survived war. We had walked through fire. We had stared death in the face and come out whole.
Speaker 1:But what we didn't know then was that our next battle would make all the others pale in comparison. Because this time, the battlefield wasn't across the ocean. It was one that would threaten the most precious part of our lives, something much closer and infinitely more devastating. In October 2005, everything changed. Join us next time on Blindsighted as we step into the day that plunged us into the darkest depths of our story, where faith trembled, trust was tested, and life as we knew it vanished in an instant.